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“It’s your fault!” Naruto petulantly said with a pout. “If you hadn’t made me angry we wouldn’t have made this mess!
“We? No. It’s your mess and your fault! And this is my chair!” Sasuke said with a pout (no! Uchiha’s don’t pout; Nii-san said so) as well, pushing Naruto from the Hokage chair and sitting on it. “If you hadn’t started acting like a child you wouldn’t be in trouble.”
“Nu-uh! It’s our mess and it’s us who are in trouble. Daddy is gonna kill you when he sees you stained his chair! And his documents. And I’m not a child!”
“You stained it! And he made me Hokage for the day. So if I say it’s your fault, then it’s your fault! So you’ll be the one to take the blame because you were the one who spilled all the ink.”
While the two children discussed who would be in trouble with the Hokage, poor ANBU agent Neko watched in dismay as the two made an even bigger mess by fighting, spilling more ink on top of official documents and the Hokage’s precious chair ( no human being should like a chair so much. What in Kami’s name had they put there to make it so coveted? ), that was soon becoming a favourite for the two little demons.
“Boys, please, let’s just calm down and be reasonable.” The ANBU attempted to calm them with soothing gestures.
Sasuke and Naruto stopped their little wrestling match – who would think to use proper taijutsu when your idiotic best friend didn’t listen to you? – only to glare at the frazzled ANBU.
“I don’t need to be reasonable. I’m the Hokage!-” “For the day!” “-shh, Naruto! I’m the Hokage and you can’t give me orders!” hissed the black-haired demon while glaring the best Uchiha glare that he could (Nii-san had said it was a thing, the Uchiha glare). Which in all honesty wasn’t very effective, given the baby-face and the overall adorable look that Sasuke had going on. It was composed of the much too big for him Hokage hat and the Yondaime’s cloak that trailed after him.
Groaning in frustration and cursing to all heavens to have been conned into babysitting by the Hokage and Kakashi-sempai, Tenzo counted to ten to calm down and to be able to think of a proper way to reign in the two demons disguised as children without risking the wrath of Itachi-kohai, Mikoto-san or Kushina-sama.
“A good Hokage is always reasonable and treat their subordinates with respect!” Naruto shouted while crossing his tiny arms and glaring at his friend. “Daddy said so!” He turned his face to the other direction in an attempt to ignore Sasuke.
“Well, he made me the Hokage and not you! So your point is moot, usuratonkachi!”
“Stop using complicated words, Bakasuke!”
“Only if you stop being an idiot!”
“I’ll show you who’s the idiot, you, you… Meanie!” and he launched himself at his best friend, bumping into the table and making the ink port upturn and leak all over the documents, once again.
Fretting for his life (and his sanity!) as never before, Tenzo leaped to the table and got the ink pot to its rightful position and tried to clean as much as he could from the mess. It was so bad some of the ink even got to his pristine mask and he was forced to take it off, showing he’s pained expression to the world ( to the hell with protocol, when dealing with the devil’s spawns there was no protocol! ) He would deal with one problem at a time, his foremost fear being the anger resulting from the ink mess.
Once he had salvaged as much as he could, he took the ink pot away, now safely covered, and put it inside a cabinet on the office. There wasn’t much he could do for the documents, but it was time to try and save the chair, or whatever could be saved. Ignoring the rolling and fighting children, he used a mild water jutsu to try and clean the ink away. It worked, for the most part, but the fabric would forever be stained. He just hoped it would be dry by the time the Hokage (“I’m the Hokage!” “Only for today, teme!” ‘What were these children and how the hell could they read his mind?’ ) got back.
Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for all the trouble he knew would come his way, Tenzo turned to the two monster and in a very precise rendition of a scary movie face, with his wide and as if death had come to collect them, spoke, “Now, you two little brats listen to me!”
Naruto and Sasuke froze where they were – Naruto underneath Sasuke, trying to bite his arm off and pulling the duck-butt hair, “It’s not like a duck-butt!” “Uh-hu! It is! Shisui-nii said so!” “Nu-uh!”, and Sasuke trying to push Naruto face off his arm and pulling the blond’s mop. “Not a mop!” “That’s not normal hair!” “Yes, it is! Mama combed it this morning!”
They made the mistake of looking at Tenzo’s face. Both boys screamed in a very high pitch (Tenzo was sure they could break glass with that scream, and wouldn’t his troubles be even greater?) letting go of one another and scrambling to get as far away from the maskless ANBU as they could.
Never in their young lives had they seen such a scary face – not counting that one time a drunken Shikaku had made the mistake to call Kushina red hot Habanero and she had got so livid and scary, that the boys had had nightmares for a week. Or the time Mikoto caught Obito teaching the two of them to call Itachi a little fucker. They still couldn’t mention about that time without whimpering.
“You will behave or else!” Tenzou used his mokuton to pick each boy up, a good two feet of the ground and held them down (up) and away from each other. “Am I clear?
“Yes!” the children shouted, stiffening to try and look and behaved as possible, which was no easy feat given that they were trapped in wood.
“Good,” the ANBU said, squinting his eyes for good measure.
Just then the door opened to reveal the Yondaime and his wife returning from the meeting they were attending. With one quick look at the scene, Kushina gave a little fake smile and said sweetly, “Now, what’s going on here, Yamato?”
“It’s Tenzo, dear,” Minato quipped.
“And who is talking to you, dear?” The fake smile, now a bit bigger was directed at the Hokage, who wisely shut up and let Kushina deal with things. “Again, Yamato, what’s going on here?”
The poor man gulped and released his jutsu, very carefully putting the children down. He had forgotten to equate Uzumaki-sama into the mess. “The children were, uh, eh, being a bit rowdy.”
“And that is enough to trap them in a-”
“What happened to my chair?” The wave of killing intent that flooded the room would have brought the mightiest of Kages to their knees, whimpering.
“IT WAS HIS FAULT!” Naruto and Sasuke shouted at the same time, pointing to one another. Dealing with angry Minato was preferable any day to a livid Kushina. Meanwhile, Tenzo was stupefied at the children's behavior, had they no sense of danger whatsoever? “HE’S THE ONE WHO STARTED IT!”
“Boys.” One word. Just one word from Kushina-sama had quieted and calmed them down. ( 'How did she do it?' ) “What happened?”
Gulping, Naruto took a step closer to his mother, bowing his head and trying to look as meek as possible. “Bakasuke was being a bad Hokage and I had to show him how things have to be done.”
“If I was a bad Hokage, Yondi-sama wouldn’t have put me in charge for the day!”
“Daddy made a mistake, you are very bad at it! And unrea.. unrea…”
“Unreasonable, idiot.”
“Yes, that!. And stop calling me idiot, teme!”
With fond exasperation, Kushina kneeled in front of the children and with a sweet smile, put a hand on each of their heads. “Boys. Apologize to each other. Now.”
“Sorry,” they both mumbled.
“Good, now, how did the documents got so messy?”
“Don’t forget my chair! Look at it!”
“Geez, Minato, it’s just a bit darker, relax, will you?”
“But, my chair!” And with a look, the might Hokage went on whimpering about his chair in silence.
Tenzo, taking the chance to escape while the biggest threats were distracted, attempted to escape the office.
“Not so fast, Yamato. You still have some answering to do.” Kushina’s sweet and fake smile should be declared a fearful weapon.
Gulping and praying to all deities, Tenzo prepared for his doom.
~ Fin. ~