Work Text:
They were so close. So ... close.
"Merlin." Arthur's voice was weak. Merlin held on tighter to Arthur's arm as he tried to bodily drag Arthur in the direction of the Lake of Avalon.
And yet, it wasn't to be as Arthur's legs finally gave out from under him.
Merlin carefully held all of Arthur's weight as he lowered him to the floor. "Arthur. Come on, we need to make it to the lake , we're so close!"
Arthur's breath hitches. "It's too late Merlin ."
Merlin can feel his eyes begin to water, but he refuses to let himself cry; it would feel like an admission of him giving up. He can't cry. Not when Arthur was going to live.
"Everything you've done," Arthur starts to speak again, though his voice goes quiet. "For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build. I know now."
Merlin gives Arthur a watery smile. "You could have done it without me." And Merlin believes that. Though, perhaps there would have been quite a few more obstacles for Arthur to face on his own without Merlin there by his side . But still, Merlin knows Arthur to be the strongest man he has ever met; if anyone could have done it, it would have been him.
"Maybe," but Arthur himself doesn't sound like he believes it. He returns Merlin's smile anyway.
Arthur begins to grow weaker in Merlin's arms and he begins to panic, shaking Arthur gently in a desperate attempt to keep the king awake. "It will be ok Arthur ." Merlin's voice is somewhat crazed in his desperation. "I'll make sure you'll be ok," Merlin tries to comfort him.
Arthur's eyelids grow heavier and begin to droop. "I will admit, it's a little more terrifying than I thought it would be," Arthur says honestly. "Dying."
"You'd think that after all the close calls throughout my life, I'd be a little more used to it."
And Merlin can hear the fear in Arthur's voice. It's hard to make out, Arthur's voice is riddled with the effects of exhaustion and blood loss, but Merlin can still hear it anyway. He's known Arthur long enough to be able to tell when Arthur's afraid.
And why shouldn't he be? Arthur had every right to be afraid right now. After all, he was-
Merlin refused to entertain the thought for a moment longer.
Arthur reached a shaking hand up and cupped the back of Merlin's head, bringing his head down to press their foreheads together. "There's something I should have said to you...a long time ago."
"Thank you."
Arthur's hand goes limp and Merlin desperately tries to shake him in an attempt to make him wake up again. "No, no, Arthur!"
"Please, stay with me..."
"O drakon! E male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!" Merlin called upon Kilgarrah to take them the rest of the way to the lake.
When they finally reached the Lake of Avalon, Merlin used all of his strength to try and drag Arthur closer to the lake.
"There is nothing you can do." Kilgarrah's voice still seems to echo even in the large open space.
Merlin can feel his last vestiges of hope shatter completely. "I failed?"
"No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building, has come to pass."
Arthur's body begins to grow cold in his arms.
It doesn't feel like he won.
"I can't lose him!" Merlin cries. "He's my friend!" The word friend couldn't even begin to encompass what Merlin felt for Arthur.
"Arthur is not just some king - he's the Once and Future King." Kilgarrah's voice booms with authority, commanding all who are near to listen to his words and consider them carefully. "Take heart young warlock, for when Albion's time of need is greatest, Arthur shall rise again."
And that plants a small seed of hope in Merlin's chest that grows from a small flame into a raging fire.
He will see Arthur again.
But as the years pass so too does his hope begin to dwindle.
Catastrophe after catastrophe plagues the earth and there is still no sign of Arthur.
Magic starts to disappear from the world until all that stands as evidence that it ever existed at all is Merlin himself.
Magic incarnate. A creature of magic. Alone for all eternity, stranded on a planet that no longer has any magic to speak of. Forever doomed to live an eternity moving from place to place; unable to plant roots anywhere as his body refuses to give out from under him.
He can age himself and stay in one place for a little while, but when he doesn't die after he hits one hundred years old, people start to suspect that something might be wrong. And so he's stuck in a constant cycle; never being able to stay in one place for too long and never being able to keep any friends.
Even if he did try to make some friends it wouldn't matter. Anytime he tried they all died around him anyway. It wasn't something he willingly wanted to put himself through. Not again.
It was better to just be alone.
Merlin honestly believed that he would be alone until the end of time; that the world would one day stop spinning long after humanity had been obliterated and Merlin would still be there.
He would sometimes wonder what would happen then. Merlin had tried to take his life once or twice over the centuries but found that nothing could kill him. Perhaps all those "close calls" with death back in Camelot had never been close calls at all . He had even begged Freya to return Excalibur to him so that he could use it and finally rejoin his friends and family wherever they rested. It had killed Morgana and he was sure it would therefore be the only thing capable of killing him as well .
But she had refused; outright ignoring Merlin's pleas. And so, Merlin was left to wonder.
When the world stopped spinning, would that finally be the end of him ? Or would even that not be enough? If the ground crumbled out from underneath his feet, or the sun exploded, would that finally be his end? Or would he be stuck in an eternity of darkness, well and truly alone for all of eternity; never to reunite with his loved ones?
Merlin would never be able to describe how he felt when he realized that his silent musings might never come to pass.
A familiar body clawed its way out of the lake, ungracefully hacking up lung-fulls of water, and Merlin had never been so happy in all his life to see the prat.
Arthur had returned and he was no longer alone.
Their reunion was filled with tears as Merlin clung to Arthur desperately; not caring at all how Arthur's armor dug into his torso uncomfortably or how the wetness of his clothes and hair seeped into his skin and made him shiver. He had Arthur here in his arms, and that was all that mattered.
Unfortunately, their happy reunion could not last forever, because with Arthur's return so did Albion's greatest need.
Merlin and Arthur spent a good amount of time just trying to figure out why Arthur came back in the first place. He had missed two world wars and quite a few plagues. If he hadn't returned for those, then what had he returned for?
The answer was quick to reveal itself a mere three weeks after Arthur's return.
"Arthur!" Merlin's voice called out to Arthur. They had just been investigating the tower in the middle of Lake Avalon when the earthquake hit .
Merlin had come outside already but Arthur had yet to exit. The tremors of the earth rumbled louder and the stone of the tower began to collapse.
Arthur ran out in a puff of dust as the architecture that dated back over a millennium finally collapsed.
They both coughed as they choked on the cloud of dirt it had kicked up. "What just happened-?" Arthur sounded like he was going to go on a long rant about such inconvenient timing, but he never got the chance to.
They had been too slow. While they had been searching for the answer to Albion's greatest need, it had decided to find them first.
The clouds growled dangerously above them as a storm began to grow at an unnatural speed. Lightning struck the ground around them and thunder roiled in the air.
"Watch out!" Merlin lunged and grabbed ahold of Arthur, pulling him to the ground and out of the way before a flaming tree could land on top of him.
They both stood up on shaky legs as the wind began to whip past them at breakneck speeds. It swirled ferociously, and before they knew it, they stood at the epicenter of it all; the eye of the storm.
"Is this Albion's greatest need?" Arthur asked Merlin, although he didn't expect an answer when it was so very obviously true. "How are we meant to fix this ?"
Merlin did the only thing he could think of at that moment; he grabbed Arthur's hand tightly to keep him close by as he closed his eyes and sent his magic out into the world, searching for the root of the problem. They certainly wouldn't be able to fix anything if they couldn't even figure out what was wrong in the first place.
Merlin felt his magic reach out into the very fabric of the world, hoping to find the answer he was looking for.
However, instead of Merlin finding the problem, it seemed to find him yet again. That's where he felt it . In the very fabric of the earth. It all just felt so ...
Wrong.
The sudden realization felt like a hot flash through Merlin's body and he was quite surprised to find he hadn't actually been hit by any lightning.
The ground they walked on, no- the whole earth itself, ached for magic to return to it's lands. It had been deprived of something so vital to it's survival for too long and now it was crumbling apart.
Merlin's eyes flew open with the sudden realization. "What if your return wasn't just to help in Albion's greatest time of need?"
Arthur looked at Merlin in confusion but didn't interrupt him, encouraging him to continue with a small nod.
"What if it was a sign?" Merlin's hand gripped Arthur's harder as things began to fall into place. "A last magical plea from the world for me to bring magic back to Albion."
"But how would that even be possible?" Arthur's hair whipped into his eyes but he refused to break eye contact with Merlin as chaos swarmed around them. It threatened to break them apart, but it only resulted in them clinging onto each other's hands harder.
"It feels..." Merlin's voice trailed off as he tried to explain the feeling to Arthur in words he would be able to understand. Something to explain this overwhelming feeling no mortal should be able to understand. "Trapped," the earth whispered in Merlin's ear and out through his own mouth.
And that's when everything clicked into place in Merlin's mind.
It was trapped. It needed out; to be free.
This was magic's last desperate cry to the god of magic; magic incarnate.
Emrys.
Never just Merlin.
It all landed on his shoulders.
It feels like he should have seen this coming from at least a mile away. He had over a millennium to notice and see the signs, but instead, he had somehow managed to completely miss them .
Tears burned at the back of Merlin's eyes as they began to fall. The wind around them caressed his cheeks and picked the tears right off of them; even managing to suck Merlin's only sign of grief into its swirling vortex.
Merlin should have known better.
He would never be able to keep Arthur.
"Arthur..." Merlin didn't want to let go of his hand.
"Merlin?" His voice wavered uncharacteristically as tears continued to pour seemingly unprompted from his best friend's eyes. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Merlin had just gotten Arthur back; he didn't want to let go of his hand.
"I'm so sorry Arthur ." Merlin wanted to break down right then and there.
"What?" Arthur's confusion began to grow exponentially. "Where is this coming from Merlin ? Do you know something you're not telling me?"
Tell him. You'll never get another chance.
"I love you." Merlin didn't give Arthur the chance to react.
He let go of his hand.
"Merlin!" Merlin took a step away from Arthur and then another; but not before gracelessly slicing his hand on Excalibur which was held gently in Arthur's own. The chaos that had previously circled both of them, unified as one, now only seemed to dance precariously around Merlin.
Merlin dug his fingers into the cut on his palm and felt a dull throb of pain. He squeezed tighter and watched as his blood swelled in his palm; he cupped it gently and kept it from falling.
Merlin looked up one last time and watched as Arthur struggled to get closer to him. Merlin tipped the palm of his hand as he finally made eye contact with Arthur.
A drop of blood hit the grass below and magic used him as a funnel to finally return to the world.
Arthur's desperate attempt to get to Merlin was suddenly halted as a large burst of magic blinded him, knocking him off of his feet, and bringing him to his knees.
When Arthur's sight finally returned, everything had gone quiet. The ground he was kneeling on stopped it's shaking, the wind slowed until there wasn't even a breeze to ruffle Arthur's hair, and the clouds had dispersed perhaps even faster than they had shown up in the first place. Everything was so tranquil in complete juxtaposition to the chaos from less than a moment ago.
It was so quiet so suddenly.
Even Merlin was quiet.
Merlin. Arthur was going to be sick.
His head snapped up as he looked about for his former manservant before his eyes finally landed on his body collapsed, yet unmoved, from the last place he had seen him at the center of it all. Golden strands of pure magic leaked from him, spreading out over the land surrounding him in waves as spring flowers grew from the ground surrounding him and little blue butterflies caressed his skin.
Arthur quickly stood on shaky legs and rushed over to Merlin's side before once more collapsing to the ground next to him. "Merlin!" Arthur tried to grab Merlin as gently as possible, but in his panicked rush, he had probably jostled Merlin more than he meant to.
Merlin's eyes were shut and Arthur felt the panic really begin to set in. This couldn't be it. It just couldn't be. "Merlin. No, no, no, no."
"Wake up!" Arthur shook Merlin as hard as possible and a large wave of relief washed over him as Merlin opened one of his eyes.
"Ow..." His face scrunched up lightly in annoyance. "That hurt you absolute cabbagehead."
Arthur had never felt happier to hear Merlin insult him in all his life. "Merlin." Arthur's voice swam with his unspoken emotions; uttering them all into Merlin's name.
"Arthur." Merlin smiled at Arthur and there was a moment of silence as they both just smiled at each other like the idiots Arthur knew they were. Only a fool for you he thought. And it was the most true thing he had ever admitted to himself when it came to his relationship with Merlin. He had never allowed himself to go farther with that line of thinking; it used to seem like such a daunting task before and he had refused to touch it even with a ten-foot pole.
Now though ... maybe he could admit it to himself. And Merlin. Maybe he could finally have his chance.
" Merlin I-"
A sudden bout of coughing wracked Merlin's body and he went limp as he suddenly lost the rest of his energy.
Arthur's hopes were suddenly dashed and it felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water directly over his head.
"Merlin- no, no." Arthur propped Merlin up higher and held him closer to his chest. "You were alright just a second ago. You're supposed to be alright!"
"Arthur..." A small amount of blood trickled from Merlin's mouth. Arthur tried to rub it away but only managed to smear it more across Merlin's face, making his pale skin in contrast to the bright red blood more prominent .
Merlin reached his hand up a swiped his thumb underneath his eye, wiping away the tears Arthur hadn't even realized he had begun to shed.
"It's ok." The statement is feeble at best and Arthur hates that Merlin is the one trying to comfort him right now in this situation.
"It's not!" Arthur feels a sob build up in his throat and feels unbearably weak when he's unable to hold it back. Arthur begins to sob over Merlin's body.
Suddenly, his head is guided down to rest against Merlin's forehead and the sudden wave of familiarity at the position silences Arthur abruptly. Hadn't Arthur done the exact same thing fifteen hundred years ago?
"You can't leave me," Arthur pleas with Merlin, or whoever, or whatever will listen. "I won't let you."
"I'm so sorry," Merlin says. "And thank you. For everything."
It's not exactly what Arthur had said to Merlin all those years ago, but both of their thank you's had held the exact same meaning to one another.
I love you Merlin said again.
Merlin's hand grows frigidly cold on Arthur's cheek before falling into the very flowers his magic had created as a parting gift to the earth. Arthur wants to scream into the universe but no sound escapes his lungs. A last puff of air escapes Merlin's lips and Arthur can feel it brush against his own.
He doesn't want to move. He wants to stay exactly where he is. He can't move. Arthur is frozen. This can't be real. It can't, it can't, it can't itcan'titcan't-
Arthur's despair goes unanswered and unheeded as Merlin's body begins to glow a faint gold. Arthur stares in a saddened daze as it completely takes over Merlin's body before finally dispersing. Small motes of pure golden magic fill the space where Arthur had cradled Merlin in his arms before gently floating away.
Arthur quickly jumps to his feet and desperately tries to grab onto one of the small golden lights. His best friend was quite literally slipping through his fingertips and he would have nothing of his to hold on to. However, no matter how hard Arthur tried, he was unable to grab hold of a single one as they all finally drifted out of view.
Arthur collapsed to his knees in complete and utter defeat.
He doesn't know how long he stays like that, but eventually, he stands on shaky legs and walks toward the rubble of the collapsed tower. He picks up one of the large stones and carries it over to the small bed of flowers. Arthur continues to slowly move stone after stone until it has created a small circle around the field of flowers and the sun has started to set.
Arthur carefully lays Excalibur down in the circle amongst the field of flowers before finally kneeling before his finished work. His muscles ache and his body feels shaky, yet the physical pain he feels could never compare to how his heart aches in unbearable and inconsolable agony.
He didn't even have a body to mourn over. These flowers were the last things his best friend had ever created.
Silent tears streamed down his cheeks as Arthur whispered silently into the wind what he never got the chance to say in actual words.
"I love you."
Here and now, at this point in time, fifteen hundred years later, it was finally Arthur's turn to wait for Merlin.
And yet, with time as magic slowly returned to the world, and its followers and religion began to return once more, so too did the god of magic.
"Hello, Arthur."