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It started as an innocent question. Peter didn’t mean to break Bruce or Thor for that matter. It wasn’t his fault the Avengers were so boring sometimes; he just wanted to spice shit up.
Ten minutes earlier
“Alright, who here is actually straight? Raise your hand.” Peter wasn’t surprised to see almost all of the Avengers didn’t raise their hand. He’d seen Nat check out plenty of women, Clint was in a throuple with Agent Coulson, Tony was well Tony and desperately pining for Dr. Strange (he still hasn’t learned his real name). What he was surprised by was the one Avenger who did raise his hand; as far as Peter knew, he was dating a man.
Bruce knew damn well he wasn’t straight, but he wasn’t exactly out. So, he’d decided to raise his hand just for safety. He was rather surprised, however, to see Thor’s stay firmly around his shoulders where it had been resting the whole night. He’d been pining for months and thinking he had zero chance because Thor was, well, extremely straight. He still had a very low chance; Thor was way out of his league. But it was still a shocking revelation and damned Bruce to years of useless pining. So, he felt strangely relieved when Thor began lifting his hand. Those feelings of relief quickly faded, however, when Thor simply grabbed Bruce’s hand and lowered it to his lap while giving him a strange look.
“Was that a joke, darling? It’s so hard to understand Midgardian humor.”
That was a more recent habit of Thor’s that both annoyed and delighted Bruce. About a week after Bruce had actually admitted his pining to himself, Thor had taken to using pet names with him. Bruce assumed it was to make him feel important after so long not really existing because Hulk was out. That, coupled with how physically affectionate Thor was, made falling for him ridiculously easy.
“Joke? Why would it be a joke?” It wasn’t the smartest thing Bruce could’ve said, but he was rather distracted by Thor’s hand, which still rested on his own.
“Because Bruce, we all know you and Thor are a thing. You aren’t exactly subtle. I swear, sometimes Thor looks seconds away from either getting down on one knee or asking you to get down on both of yours if ya catch my drift,” Tony said, winking at the last part. Bruce felt his face heat. He was about to correct Tony when Thor began speaking. “You’re just jealous that I have a gorgeous boyfriend while you’re still dreaming of Stephen over there.” Bruce was so distracted by seeing Tony blush for the first time that he didn’t process what Thor said for a solid minute. Once he finally did, he whipped around to look at Thor. “Wait, boyfriend?!” Thor looked a bit sheepish. “I know I haven’t formally asked to court you, but we’ve been together for 5 months. I felt the title was fitting.” Bruce stopped. He didn’t just stop; he froze. If he were a computer, multiple errors would’ve popped up before the computer burst into flames, then crashed and tried to reboot. “We’ve been together for 5 months? Here I was, pining, thinking you were straight, and we were DATING.” Thor blushed. God must hate Bruce because Thor looked damn adorable, bright red. “My apologies, darling. I had just assumed you wished to take it slow. I thought I was obvious enough in my courting that I didn’t need to officially ask you to be mine. We have been on 12 dates at this point.” Bruce is about to either slap or kiss Thor; he can’t really decide. Luckily, he’s given more time because Clint decided to speak up. “Wait, you mean to tell me you didn’t really know you were dating Thor because you assumed he was straight? Damn it, I should’ve known not to bet against you, Nat.” Clint passes a wadded up fifty to a smirking Natasha.
Peter swears he didn’t mean to start all this hell because of it; he lost ten dollars to Harley. But as he watched Bruce kiss a shocked and still slightly confused Thor and drag him out of the room to ‘talk,’ as money traded hands, he couldn’t help but feel pleased with his unintentional work