Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was a peaceful day in Dream Land. The sun was shining, there was a wonderful light breeze, and Kirby was taking a nap underneath a tree, as he was prone to doing.

Not too far away, there was trouble brewing. A dispute.

The Battleship Halberd was docked by Castle Dedede, and outside the castle, King Dedede and Meta Knight were arguing rather loudly.

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, I have to disagree!”

“You can’t disagree with me! I’m the king!”

“I beg to differ!”

“Oh, do you?!”

This argument was not a new one. Both the crew of the Halberd and the retinue of Dedede’s servants had heard this before. It was a dispute over who was more suited to taking the young hero of Dream Land—Kirby—into their care as their ward. They had gone so far as to engage in duels over the dispute, but the outcome didn’t matter. They still couldn’t see eye to eye.

“I’m sayin’ this for the last time.” Dedede grimaced. “I oughta be the one to take him in. I’ll teach him how to properly wield this beauty of a weapon.” He indicated the large hammer slung over his shoulder.

“I still maintain that I ought to be the one who takes him under my wing. You don’t even have wings, sire,” Meta retorted, glaring through his mask up at the burly penguin. “Kirby will study the blade under my tutelage and become a master swordsman just like myself.” He held his sword, Galaxia, proudly. 

“Feh! It’s all about swords with you, ain't it?!”

“I’d say you’re hammer-obsessed yourself, Your Majesty!”

“Watch your tongue!”

“My apologies, sire, I forgot that that’s still a sore subject,” Meta Knight replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Sore subject? What on Popstar are you talkin’ about?” King Dedede pressed, frowning.

“The size of it, of course.” Meta closed his eyes and looked away. “I have seen bigger and more formidable weapons, myself.”

“That’s rich, comin’ from you , shortstack! ” the king bellowed, a little more offended than he ought to be. “And that’s no way to talk to your king! ”

“I will not tolerate this!” Meta flapped his wings, flying upwards to look Dedede in the eye. “King or not, I refuse to take such flagrant slander lying down, you pompous portly penguin!”

“HEY! Who you callin’ pompous?!” Dedede brandished his hammer at the knight.

Now, usually, the king and the knight were on amicable terms, and wouldn’t be slinging insults at one another. But the matter of Kirby, the young pink puffball who once was their rival and who bested them in battle countless times, was something both were unwilling to back down on.

To avoid another battle, Dedede simply let out a huff and turned around, facing away from Meta.

He heard the sound of the knight touching the floor again, then heard him proceed to kick the air with a grunt.

After a moment of tense silence, Dedede glanced over at the nearby tree under which Kirby was sleeping. “It’s not just about trainin’ and weapons. He’s got no parents. I worry about the kid.”

After a moment, Meta Knight spoke. “...I understand. I feel the same.”

Feeling less angry, the king shifted to face the knight yet again. “I mean, I know he’s capable of lookin’ after himself—what with the way he’s clobbered us, not to mention worse threats. But there’s been times he’s needed our help.”

“I know that all too well, sire. …I sometimes fear what would become of him.”

“...I feel responsible.”

Meta looked up at him, his eyes glinting. 

“I mean, I’m the King of Dream Land, ain’t I?” He stared off into the distance. “I feel responsible for my kingdom’s people. And every kid deserves a parent, don’t they?”

Meta nodded. “I concur, sire. And I, too, feel I bear responsibility for Kirby. That’s why I wanted to look after him. …It’s not because I doubt you, Your Majesty.”

He really cooled down quick, Dedede thought, surprised that Meta Knight would say something like that so soon after one of their arguments. “I getcha, Meta. I don’t doubt you, either.” He turned away, too embarrassed to face the knight. “I shouldn’t have let myself get so heated. Again. …Sorry.”

“...I owe you an apology as well,” Meta replied after a moment. “I am sorry, King Dedede, for my harsh words. Your hammer is the perfect size.”

The king snorted. “Shut up!”

“Heh. But I mean it, sire.”

Dedede shook his head, still amused. “You don’t gotta tell me. But this has got me thinkin’. We’ve been at each other’s throats over this for ages, and we never get anywhere.”

Meta shook his head as well. “No.”

“There’s gotta be another way. Somethin’ we can both agree on.”

“A compromise?”

“Somethin’ like that.” Dedede began to think about what a compromise could even be in this situation. And then, almost immediately, it hit him. “Ah!”

“What?” Meta asked, looking surprised.

“...What if we did it together?”

Even through the mask, the visible shock Meta Knight was experiencing could be seen. “You mean…?”

“Be his parents. Both of us,” he elaborated.

“...Not in the traditional sense, surely?”

Dedede narrowed his eyes. “What? What traditional sense?”

Meta shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Wait, no, you can’t do that to me!” he exclaimed, utterly bemused. “Whaddaya mean by that?!”

“It was a foolish question!” the knight prevaricated. “ …You are suggesting that we both take him in as our ward, that we both become his legal guardians?”

“Yeah, that. I’m not sure about all the official parts of it, though, I gotta tell you.”

“...You’re the reigning monarch, sire. Surely you have some knowledge of the government that you are the head of.”

Dedede averted his eyes. “Yeah, kinda. …I remember bits and pieces, anyway.”

Meta slapped his gloved hand against his mask, akin to a facepalm. 

And so, now that they had their plan, all they had to do was figure out how to do it. That, and propose the idea to Kirby himself, of course, but the king and knight were more intent upon figuring out the legality of it all.

Even though Dedede was the ruler, over time the Waddle Dees had created a governing body, known formally as the Government of Dream Land, of which the king was still the head. Dedede had no objections to this as it meant that the Waddle Dees handled a lot of official affairs themselves, making his job easier. Mainly, King Dedede was to look over what rules and laws they wanted to pass and approve them. 

Meta Knight had taken it upon himself to gather the information necessary, and so, once he had successfully acquired all the relevant files, he headed to the castle with a large binder in tow.

“Wow. I wasn’t expectin’ you to go that hard,” Dedede commented as he watched the knight lay the binder on a table and open it.

“I am not one to be lackadaisical, Your Majesty,” Meta simply responded as he flipped through the pages.

“No kiddin’. I thought you were always busy doing knight things. Where’d you get the time for this?”

“I can multitask, you know. I also requested members of my crew read the contents to me when I was unable to do it myself,” he said matter-of-factly. “Because of this, I have discovered that becoming Kirby’s legal guardians is going to be a near-impossible feat.”

“What?!” Dedede asked, incredulous. “It can’t be that hard! I don’t remember passin’ any laws that would make it impossible!”

Meta simply gave him an unimpressed look before pointing at one of the pages. “I will summarise this for you, sire. In short, if we both want to be his guardians, we will have to go through a lengthy legal process that is unlikely to succeed.”

The king folded his arms and grimaced. “I don’t believe it.”

“...Unless…”

“Unless?”

The knight tapped a spot on the page to indicate Dedede to look.

He did, leaning over Meta, and read the section he was pointing at. There was a lot of legal jargon, but it was relatively familiar. “...Oh, yeah, I see. Ugh. It’s ‘cause of our relationship.”

“Yes.”

He let out a sigh. “Well, to be fair to me, when the Dees brought me this stuff to look over, I didn’t think lettin’ two random so-and-so’s adopt a kid made sense. I didn’t think I’d become one of them random so-and-so’s myself.”

“I cannot fault you for that, sire,” Meta concurred. “We have reached an impasse, it seems.”

“Mm.” Dedede stared at the page a little longer, trying to think of a way around it. “I’m the king, dammit! Can’t I just do what I want?!”

“Not if you want the respect of your people, Your Majesty,” Meta pointed out. 

“...You’re right. Ugh. Well then, we’re screwed, ain’t we?”

“...Perhaps.”

Perhaps? The king thought, curious. What other way around this is there?  As he stared at the page, Dedede tried to remember when he signed off on these laws. Who can adopt a kid, again? A couple, of course. …Not just any couple, though. A married couple, because then it’s official and you’ve got the piece of paper and all that. ………That’s it! “I’ve got it!”

“Got what, sire?” Meta Knight asked, narrowing his eyes.

“It’s obvious, ain’t it? We get hitched!”

“...Married, sire?”

“Yeah, that!” Dedede grinned madly. “That makes it a heck of a lot easier!”

Meta closed his eyes. “I had thought of that.”

“Wait, you had?” he asked, mildly disappointed, as he thought he had come up with the idea first. 

“Yes, sire. But I had discounted that as a possibility, for obvious reasons.”

“What, ‘cause you think I don’t wanna marry you?”

“...Yes?” Meta looked perplexed. “What, do you?”

“Whoa, don’t get the wrong idea, Meta,” Dedede said, holding his hands out in front of him. “You’re great and all, but this is just for legal reasons.”

“I wasn’t about to take you the wrong way!” the knight protested. “But does this not present an issue, sire?”

“What issue?”

“May I remind you, Your Majesty, that you are the reigning monarch. That is sure to offer complications if we were to be wed. …For legal reasons,” Meta added hastily.

Dedede thought about it for a moment. “Nah, I can’t think of anythin’.”

“...If you’re sure, sire.” He turned his attention back to the file binder. “Well, that will streamline the process somewhat, but we would still have to figure out a permanent residence and make sure that it is safe for Kirby… which will prove hard as he can fly, amongst other things.”

The king waved a hand airily. “Surely the government will be willin’ to make exceptions for the kid. He is the hero of Dream Land.”

“...In any case, if we are to commit to this, sire, there is a lot we must do.” He looked up at Dedede, awaiting his response.

“One thing at a time, Meta.”

Meta nodded. “Indeed. This does raise the question, then, of how we are to be wed.”

“Easy. All you gotta do is find a celebrant, bring a couple of people to witness it and sign some papers, as far as I know,” Dedede answered nonchalantly. “Can’t be that hard.”

The knight flipped through the pages once more, then once he found the one he was looking for, skimmed it. “You are correct, sire.”

“Of course I am! Well then, I guess that’s our next order of business, huh? Get hitched?”

“I do believe we ought to tell Kirby of our plans. After all, if he doesn’t want us as his guardians…” he shrugged. “Our marriage would be futile.”

“Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that! Hahaha! But how are we s’posed to explain any of this to him?”

“We will simply have to find a way.”

And so, the king and the knight made their way over to Kirby.

The small pink puffball was awake now, staring up at the sky. He quickly seemed to notice the two people approaching him, as he turned and looked. “King Dedede! Meta Knight! Hiiiii!” he greeted excitedly, waving both tiny arms at them with a big smile on his face.

“Hey, Kirby!”

“Hello. We have something we’d like to tell you. Or ask you, really.”

Kirby tilted himself to the side, curious. “What is it?”

Meta glanced up at the penguin beside him. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at me for?” he replied, a confused expression on his face.

Perhaps because I expected you to say something? Considering it was your idea to begin with? the knight thought, but he simply sighed and began to explain. “The king and I have been deliberating a certain matter for a while, Kirby.”

Kirby blinked, a vacant expression on his face.

“We have decided, together,” he continued, looking up at Dedede once more, “that we want to be your legal guardians. If you will have us, of course.”

“...What does that mean?”

“Like your parents,” Dedede said. “A mom and a dad. Or, in this case, a dad and a dad.”

“Oh! So… you’d be my dads?” the kid asked, seemingly comprehending what they were trying to say.

“That is essentially what that means, yes,” Meta confirmed with a nod. “How would you feel about that?”

“That sounds fun!” Kirby exclaimed, grinning widely. 

Meta looked at Dedede once more, awaiting his reaction.

“Seems it’s settled, then,” Dedede said, smiling. “Well, all that’s left is to tie the knot.”

“That’s not all that’s left, sire,” the knight corrected. “There is a process to be aware of. I hope you haven’t forgotten…”

“Ahh,” Dedede replied dismissively, waving a hand. “Once we get that certificate, it’ll be fine. Probably.”

Kirby looked confused again. “Tie the knot?” 

“Y’know, get hitched! Get married! Y’know what marriage is, right?” The king turned to Meta Knight briefly. “Does he know what marriage is? You ever been to a wedding?” he asked, looking back at the small pink hero.

“Oh, aren’t weddings those big parties where everyone dresses up and then the two people kiss and there’s a big cake?!” Kirby answered, visibly excited about the cake part.

“Yeah, that!” Dedede replied, pointing at him.

“Sire, I don’t think that’s sufficient—”

“Except we’re not havin’ one of those!” he continued, cutting across Meta.

“WHAT?! Why not?!” the child cried, looking utterly devastated.

Good going, Dedede, Meta thought, side-eyeing the king.

“Er, well…” Dedede tried to explain, faltering in the face of Kirby’s abject disappointment. He turned to the knight, his expression looking very much like a plea for help.

“...We want it to be quiet,” Meta said, unsure if this would help matters.

It very much didn’t. Kirby looked like he was on the verge of tears. “No cake…?”

“Uh… we can have a wedding! Can’t we, Meta?” Dedede suggested, staring at him intently.

WHAT?! Meta recoiled in shock.

“Really?!” Kirby asked hopefully.

He looked at the kid once more and knew that there was no way he could say no. “...Y-yes, I… suppose we can.”

“YAYYYY!!!” Kirby cheered, jumping for joy. “Big party with a big cake!”

Shortly after their conversation with their soon-to-be-ward, Meta requested to talk to Dedede in private. The nearest place where the two could be sure their conversation could not be eavesdropped upon happened to be the king’s bedchamber, and so, there they were, behind closed doors.

“Your Majesty,” Meta began, “I know that it is impossible to say no to Kirby, but we can’t afford to have a wedding. Surely you must understand.”

Dedede rested his fists against his hips and frowned down at the knight. “Why not?”

I have to explain…? “I was labouring under the impression that we were going to keep this arrangement of ours from the general public, sire.”

“Yeah, I s’pose that was the idea, wasn’t it?” 

Oh, thank Nova, he’s going to see reason, Meta thought, relieved.

“Well, I don’t see a problem with the general public knowin’ we’re getting hitched,” Dedede continued nonchalantly. 

…I stand corrected. “Sire. We are well-known personages on and off Popstar. If we are to be publicly wedded, many, many people would know, and undoubtedly have questions.” He looked up at the king, hoping that he would understand.

“So what?”

“So what? So what?! Dedede!” Meta exclaimed, quickly becoming agitated. He began to gesticulate with his hands. “We have reputations to uphold! And how are we supposed to answer these questions?! Lie?! Even if we tell the truth, I simply cannot see that working well! It’s unlikely that anyone would believe that we are simply doing this for legal reasons. Most likely, they would think we were joking, or worse, they would think us stubborn cowards, so foolishly proud that we can’t bear to admit our true feelings for each other to other people.” He shuddered at the thought. “How humiliating.”

“Wait, that would bother you?” Dedede asked. “People thinkin’ we were marryin’ for love but refusin’ to admit it?”

“Yes, of course. There is little that is more shameful than cowardice. If you are unable to be true to yourself due to danger, that is one thing. But to be ashamed of your partner when you claim to truly love them is a great injustice to them,” the knight responded, sounding deathly serious. “Would it not bother you, sire?”

“Of course it would. I’m no coward.” He folded his arms solemnly. “And I’d hate to be called one. ‘Specially if people reckoned I was too scared to admit I loved my better half.”

…I’m surprised that he would call his spouse his ‘better half’, knowing how self-important he can be, Meta mulled to himself. “That is beside the point, anyway. The point is, a public wedding is troublesome. Who knows what might be thought about us? What might be said about us?”

“...I was thinkin’ about that, y’know,” Dedede said, a pensive look on his face. “And I reckon you’re worryin’ for nothin’.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You mentioned our reputations, dintcha? What are our reputations, Meta? Strong, scary warriors.” He grinned proudly. “Who’s gonna argue against that? Besides, I’m the king, remember? No one’s gonna say a word against us!”

Meta Knight often felt that the king’s unbridled bravado was excessive, but at this moment, he couldn’t help but feel comforted by it. Not that he would admit that to Dedede, of course. “...I suppose you have a point, sire.”

“Of course I do! So then, no objections to the wedding, Meta?” He leaned down somewhat and smirked at the knight.

He shook his head. “None.”

And so, the next couple of weeks consisted of planning for the royal wedding, as it had come to be known to the residents of Dream Land. It was to be held at Castle Dedede, and many, many guests had been invited, including friends of the grooms from off-world. In addition, the king decreed that there was to be a sizeable buffet and a cake at least the size of himself, if not bigger.

Meta Knight, in comparison, did not have the same zeal for the wedding as his fiancé did. At first, when he heard of Dedede’s extravagant plans for the ceremony and reception, he thought it was rather ridiculous, but as time went on, even the solemn swordsman was swept up in the excitement. It was his wedding, after all.

Eventually, the day arrived, and just before the ceremony, Meta and Dedede stood together in their specialised outfits, out of sight from the audience before their big moment. The outfits in question were hardly different from their usual attire, essentially being the same but with a black and white colouration.

“You ready?” Dedede whispered to him. “You don’t got the pre-marital jitters, do you?”

“Please.” Meta rolled his eyes. “There is nothing frightening about this at all.” This was, of course, an out-and-out lie, as the knight was very nervous about going up to the altar in front of everyone to profess his non-existent love to King Dedede, of all people.

“Hahaha, yeah, m-me neither,” the king replied, his own voice betraying him. “Ahem. Yeah, this is nothin’! No sweat, hahaha…”

…Seems as if he’s as nervous as I am, Meta thought, feeling a little affection for him at that. King Dedede was one to put on an air of unassailable confidence, but Meta Knight’s keen eyesight had seen that there was a vulnerability there, behind the bravado.

Oh no! No, no, no, don’t let yourself succumb to the romantic atmosphere! Meta berated himself once he recognised the affection he felt. To distract himself, he took a peek at the guests, and his emotional state only worsened upon recognising one of them. 

“What is she doing here?!” he hissed to his husband-to-be, unable to contain his aversion.

“Oh, you mean Susie?” Dedede asked, glancing at the woman, who sat in the audience beside Magolor and Taranza.

“ Yes! You invited her?!”

“Kirby insisted,” he replied, looking a little guilty. “Look, I know how you feel about her, Meta, but you’ve got nothin’ to worry about. She’s not gonna try anythin’. Besides, you’ve got your sword and I’ve got my hammer.” Dedede grinned.

That grin inexplicably eased Meta, so he took a deep breath in and let it back out. Unfortunately, the fact that he was wearing his mask meant that a great amount of warm air hit him in the face, but he was used to it.

“C’mon, I think we’ve kept them waitin’ long enough,” Dedede said after a moment, craning his head to look at the guests. 

Meta nodded. “Alright.”

They briefly parted ways, behind the large curtain that had been erected so that there was a ‘backstage’ of sorts behind the altar. As had been agreed, the two grooms were to walk from opposite sides of the altar to meet there.

A signal was given to start the music, and as it filled the hall of the castle, the guests, who had been engaged in lively chatter, settled down.

Naturally, from the vantage point where Meta was standing, he could see Dedede facing him on the other side of the hall, giving him a nervous grin in a clear attempt to make him less worried.

Come on, Meta Knight, he told himself mentally as he began to walk, in unison with the king. You’ve fought and won against the greatest warrior in the galaxy. This, compared to that, is nothing. 

He felt nervous and foolish all at the same time, and the only saving grace was the fact that he was wearing a mask, hiding his face, as he had insisted. If the guests could see his expression, he would surely want to fly away and hide.

Yet, as he kept his eyes on Dedede, who was unable to stop himself smiling, Meta felt better. As nerve-wracking as this is… at least I’m not doing it alone. …How sentimental. The atmosphere is getting to me.

As they finally arrived at the altar, together, Meta stepped on a small stool that had been placed there beforehand, so that he could match the height of his fiancé. This was mildly embarrassing, but it was the better alternative to him flying and his wings potentially causing damage to the decorations or the guests. 

Dedede held his hands out, and Meta placed his hands in Dedede’s. 

“Dearly beloved,” Officiant Waddle Dee began, “we are gathered here today to join His Majesty King Dedede and Meta Knight in holy matrimony. Do you, King Dedede, take Meta Knight to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” Dedede answered, grinning widely, as if he was either really happy about getting married, or found it really funny.

“And do you, Meta Knight, take King Dedede to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Meta nodded. “I do.”

“By the power vested in me, by His Majesty The King, I now pronounce you married!” Officiant Waddle Dee cheered, holding his small hands up joyfully.

The hall filled with applause as the guests clapped eagerly. There was also a loud “Yaaaayyy!” from Kirby, seated in the front row.

“YEAH! Now, enough of this sappiness!” Dedede exclaimed to the audience, letting go of one of his newlywed husband’s hands and throwing an arm out to the crowd. “LET’S PARTY! Bring in the food!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!” his retinue cried, and the Waddle Dees began bringing out plate after plate of food to place on the nearby buffet table. What really caught the guests’ attention, however, was a cart being wheeled into the hall with a giant, white, three-tiered wedding cake on it, complete with cake toppers made in the couple’s image. 

The sheer size of the cake caused many an ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ to ring through the crowd, but one member, in particular, had the biggest reaction. 

“CAKE!!!”

Oh, no.

The guests, immediately foreseeing what was going to happen, all cried out, “Kirby, no!” but it was too late. The overexcited puffball opened his mouth and began to inhale with gusto.

It took a bit of time, considering the hefty size of the confection, but the cake eventually buckled, being inhaled by Kirby and swallowed whole.

The whole hall stood in stunned silence while the kid sat, looking rather full. “That was a lot of cake.”

“Yeah, I thought that would happen,” Dedede confessed, shrugging, “so I had another one made. Bring the backup cake out!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

A second, identical cake was wheeled out, and the audience erupted into laughter and lively chatter once more.

“And you can’t eat all of this one, Kirby, y’hear?” Dedede continued.

“Okay,” Kirby agreed.

The reception ended up going remarkably well. The newlyweds sat together at a designated table, and many of the guests came to congratulate them and offer their well wishes. Seemingly, no one had any questions, comments, or judgements like Meta Knight had feared, and in fact, it seemed none of them were surprised at all. Meta briefly wondered why that was, but decided that some questions are better left unanswered.

“That was good thinking, sire,” he said to his now husband, who was busy wolfing down a sizeable slice of cake.

“Mmph?” Dedede swallowed. “Oh, the cake! Yeah, haha, I figured Kirby was gonna wanna inhale the thing. You tried it yet?” He eyed the slice on Meta’s plate. “It’s good.”

“Ah, yes.” The knight slowly removed his mask so that he could eat. He generally preferred to keep the mask on, but it could hardly hurt to take it off right now, just for a short while.

“I gotta be honest with you,” the king said quietly. “When we had to walk up there, I was terrified.”

He’s… admitting it? Meta Knight thought, surprised. “Truthfully, it was frightening for me as well.”

Dedede grinned. “I could tell.”

Feeling rather exposed, Meta quickly began eating his cake so he could put the mask back on. 

“Of course, I knew you knew I was scared as well. Silly, ain’t it? It’s just a wedding.”

Meta nodded, unable to speak as his mouth was full. Strange, to say the least. To feel so nervous…

“How do you think regular weddings feel, Meta?”

He swallowed. “Huh?”

“Y’know.” Dedede looked away. “You reckon other people are as nervous?”

Meta thought about it. “Probably. Though, I’ve no doubt that all they have to do is behold their beloved and feel at ease.”

“Heh.” Dedede closed his eyes for a moment. “You’re probably right.”

Meta stared at him for a moment, and he didn’t quite understand what the expression on Dedede’s face meant. He shook his head ever so slightly and put his mask back on.

Now that their marriage was official, the paperwork could be filed and the process of adopting Kirby as their ward could be undertaken. As such, the very day after the ceremony, Meta was discussing such matters with Dedede when a certain matter came to their attention.

“Your Majesty,” said one of his Waddle Dee servants, a bunch of papers in hand, “there’s something I need to remind you of.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” the king replied casually.

“Well, actually… it’s about you, sir.” She turned to Meta Knight.

“Me?” the knight asked, surprised. 

“Y-yes. See, Your Majesty, um…” she began, seeming nervous, “as you are the King of Dream Land, a-according to Dream Land law, decreed by you… your marriage to Meta Knight… makes him the royal consort.” She rifled through the pages. “...the King Consort, to be specific, sire.”

It took the king a moment, but as he stared at his servant, who became increasingly more apprehensive, it dawned on him. Of course. How did I forget about that?

“...I had wondered about that,” Meta said quietly. “I had pointed out that there might be complications, sire.”

“Gimme that, please,” Dedede requested, holding his hand out to the Waddle Dee.

“Yes, Your Majesty!” she squeaked, handing over the papers.

He held them up to his face and squinted over them. “I don’t even remember decreein’ about the King Consort thing. When I wrote this, I didn’t think I was gonna be gettin’ married anytime soon, let alone to a guy.” He briefly glanced at his husband.

Meta said nothing.

“Well… I guess that’s that,” he sighed, resigned. “Dream Land has two kings now! Though I’m still the… what’s this word?” 

Meta Knight approached him to look at the page he was reading. “Regnant, sire.”

“Right, that one! I’m still the King Regnant. Which means I’m still in charge.” He grinned contentedly.

“Right you are, Your Majesty, as always!” the Waddle Dee chirped in agreement. “We’re all very happy for you and His Majesty.”

“Wait.” Meta turned his attention back to the servant, who looked concerned again. “You don’t mean me?”

“Of course, Your Majesty!” she insisted. “You are His Majesty King Meta Knight, as of the royal wedding! In contrast to His Majesty The King.”

“But—I’m a knight! A swordsman! I’m no monarch!” 

“Turns out that’s part of the fine print when you tie the knot with me,” Dedede commented, looking amused.

“Wha—you are far too nonchalant about this, sire!” Meta replied, shocked. “Does it not bother you that I am now, apparently, also a king? I presumed this would only be a formality, not actually honoured…”

“Whaddaya take the Dees for, huh? Of course, they’re gonna honour it! If they respect me, their king, which they do, obviously,” he said arrogantly, “then they’re gonna respect you. Besides, you’re pretty well-respected already, Meta. As long as I’m still the head honcho of Dream Land, I’m happy.”

“Yes, Your Majesty King Meta Knight, we love you!” the Waddle Dee cried happily. “We couldn’t think of a better consort for our beloved king!”

You couldn’t? King Dedede thought briefly, before waving it off. Probably just bein’ as adorin’ and loyal as always.

The knight looked very unsure of how to respond to this. “Er… th-thank you. But, this does raise another concern…”

“Not another one!” Dedede groaned. “What now? ”

“It’s the matter of Kirby, sire,” Meta began, grabbing the papers his husband was holding and staring at them himself. “See… There is another decree in here of interest. Thank you for bringing these,” he said to the Waddle Dee.

“It’s an honour, Your Majesty!”

“It says here, Your Majesty… or should I call you ‘my king’?” 

“Whichever’s easier,” Dedede answered, looking rather bored. “Call me Dedede if you wanna. I call you Meta, after all.”

“...In any case, it says here that in the event you require a successor, you are able to name one, regardless of whether or not they are of your blood.”

He nodded. “Yep. I remember writing that.”

“I don’t think I need to remind you that this union of ours will not bear fruit,” Meta continued.

“Yeah, I know that,” Dedede replied, giving him a quizzical look. “Last I checked, I don’t lay eggs, and I don’t think you do, either.”

“No.”

The Waddle Dee servant, who was still present, was beginning to look increasingly more uncomfortable.

“Yeah, so, your point is?”

“...My point is, sire, that if we are to adopt Kirby as our ward, you could well name him as your successor, by your own rules, which would make him the Crown Prince of Dream Land,” Meta finished.

“...Wait, what?” 

“Kirby, the prince?!” the servant exclaimed.

Dedede had finally fully checked back into the conversation, no longer looking bored. “You’re kiddin’ me. Kirby’ll be the prince?”

“Yes, sire,” Meta Knight replied, sighing a little.

The king stared at him for a moment before glancing at the floor, a pensive expression on his face. “...I s’pose we’ve come too far to quit now, hey?”

Meta’s eyes widened—something Dedede could only tell because he had known the knight long enough to see such minute changes, even through the mask. “You’re… okay with this?”

“Yeah. Could be worse, after all! Hahaha!” he laughed.

It took some time, as was expected, but eventually, the day came. It was another sleepy day in Dream Land, and King Dedede was idly lounging around when the news of a letter had been brought to his attention.

Upon seeing it, he immediately took it and hurried to one of the towers to get the attention of his husband, who was in the nearby docked battleship. “META!” he bellowed.

Sure enough, after a moment, the small, winged swordsman emerged from the ship. He flew over, stopping in front of Dedede and flapping his wings to keep himself in the air. “What?!”

The king waved the letter around excitedly. “I think this is it!”

“Open it, then!”

He did so, tearing the envelope open and pulling out the page inside. Dedede skimmed it until he saw the most important part—the part that said Kirby was now officially their ward.

“YEEEEESSSS!” he cheered. “WE DID IT, META!”
“We did?! It’s official?!” Meta Knight asked in disbelief.

“YES!” Dedede returned, beaming.

“FINALLY!”

Hearing the effusive exclamation from the knight made the king even more enthused. He reached out and pulled Meta out of the air and into a hug, wrapping his arms around him and spinning him around. “WOOOOOOOOO!”

“Ahahahaha! Sire!” Meta laughed, openly and joyfully. The sound of his laughter filled Dedede with a feeling of affection and intense happiness, which only made him hold the knight tighter and spin faster.

“Whoa… maybe that was a little too much,” he groaned after slowing down, still swaying to and fro. 

“Ah… perhaps…”

“Meta?” Dedede asked, checking on him. Meta’s gloved hands were still gripping onto the fabric of Dedede’s robe rather tightly, as if worried he would fall.

“I feel a little faint,” he murmured, briefly closing his eyes. “My head is spinning…”

“Ah, whoops,” the penguin replied apologetically, gently patting the knight’s back. You overdid it a bit there, Dedede, he thought to himself. That feeling of affection was coming back as he held Meta, and it made him feel a little lightheaded. I sure hope that’s the dizziness and not what I think it is…

After a moment, the knight shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said, and he pulled out of Dedede’s grip, who let him go once he felt his wings moving again. Shortly after becoming airborne once more, Meta Knight quickly fell out of the air and landed on his feet on the tower, next to the king.

“Hey! You sure you’re alright?”

“...I’m still a bit dizzy, it seems,” Meta replied, holding a hand to his head. “Not to worry, Dedede. We should tell Kirby the good news, shouldn’t we?”

“Oh, yeah!” the king replied, excited once more. 

And so, they set out to tell the young hero the good news. 

Once they found him, they were greeted with a buoyant “Hiiiiii!” and an enthusiastic wave.

“It’s official, kid!” Dedede announced. “We’re your legal guardians!”

“Oh, really?!” Kirby cried.

“Yeah, really! We just got the letter today, and I’ve been gettin’ the castle ready.”

“Getting the castle ready? For what?” 

“To have you live in it! If you want,” Dedede added. “I know you got your house and all, but we can move all your stuff into my castle since it’s now our official place of residence.” He briefly pointed his thumb at Meta.

“We both came to the decision that the Halberd was perhaps not the best official residence,” Meta Knight explained. “So, Castle Dedede it is.”

Kirby stared at them for a moment. “I get to live in a castle?”

They nodded.

“Cool!”

The two adults immediately relaxed. I was worried for a second there that he wasn’t gonna like it, Dedede thought. No idea what we’d do then. “Well then, wanna head over? I gotcha a room and everythin’, Kirby.”

“Sure!” he exclaimed jubilantly. 

Kirby was already familiar with the castle, but Dedede and Meta walked him around it anyway, giving him a tour of the place while the king rambled idly.

“It’s still takin’ some gettin’ used to, hearin’ the Dees call you ‘Your Majesty’, Meta,” he chuckled.

“Believe me, it’s taking me a while to get used to it, too,” he replied. “But they insist.”

“Oh yeah, you married the king and you became a king, right?” Kirby asked.

Meta nodded. “Indeed, Kirby. But I’m still a knight. The title is a formality, after all.”

“Ohhh.”

“Hey, that reminds me…” Dedede began, “About Kirby bein’ the prince.”

“Huh?!” 

“Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t know,” he remembered. 

“Dedede could proclaim you as his successor to the throne, now that you’re our ward,” Meta explained. 

Kirby looked confused. “Successor?”

“It means you’d be the king after me,” the king said nonchalantly.

“Which, once you’re proclaimed successor, would make you the Crown Prince of Dream Land.”

“Oh. What would I have to do?”

“Ehh, not much, not as long as I’m still around,” Dedede said, waving a hand airily. “So don’t worry too much about it, kid.”

“Okay. …Would they have to call me Prince Kirby?”

The king nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Ain't that somethin’?”

“If memory serves,” the knight interjected, “you would be His Royal Highness Prince Kirby.”

“Oh, wow. …I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, me too! All this royal talk’s got me famished,” Dedede remarked, patting his belly. “Think it’s time for lunch. How about it, Meta?” he asked, turning to his husband.

“I could eat.”

“Lunch it is!”

The king, the knight, and the kid proceeded to eat lunch together while continuing to casually converse. Once Kirby was finished, he left to have a nap in his new bedroom.

“Kirby’s got the right idea,” Dedede commented after he left, looking sleepy himself. He yawned. “I might go nap myself.”

“Hmm,” Meta hummed quietly.

“What’s that mean?”

“Oh, nothing, sire.”

Dedede smirked and leaned forward, resting the side of his face in his hand. “You’re thinkin’ that we’re lazy, right?”

Meta looked away. “Perhaps.”

“Heheheh.”

The room fell silent for a moment. The king continued to stare at the knight with a sleepy smile on his face.

“It’s mildly fascinating to me that we did decide to take the traditional route after all,” Meta thought aloud.

“Eh?”

“You know.” He turned back and looked at Dedede. “We got married so we could adopt Kirby.”

“...Wait. That’s what you meant?!”

“Yes! What else could I have meant?” the knight asked, a bemused expression on his face, visible even through his mask.

“I dunno!”

Meta shook his head. “You never cease to amaze me, sire.”

“Same to you, sweetheart.”

The swordsman’s eyes widened at that, and it took Dedede a moment to realise what he said.

Agh! Why’d I call him that?! “Ahahaha,” he laughed nervously, trying to play it off as a joke. 

Meta Knight stared at him for a moment. “...Heh.”

Phew, he found it funny, the king thought, relieved. Nice save, Dedede. “Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to sleep.” He got out of his chair.

“Sleep well, sire.”

And so, their new life of being parents to Kirby had finally begun. Naturally, the kid was rather self-sufficient, tending to do whatever he pleased whenever he pleased, and was perfectly capable of defending himself should he come under threat. But now he lived in the castle, sleeping there every night and waking up every morning for breakfast, which he now ate with King Dedede and Meta Knight. 

Typically, the two adults were awake before him, and so when the child would trudge into the dining hall, they would be sat at the table, idly conversing while waiting for him.

One morning, however, this wasn’t the case. As Kirby entered the dining hall, he was surprised to see it empty. “Huh?” he asked aloud. 

Kirby then set out to find his new parents. Upon exiting the dining hall, he immediately encountered one of the Waddle Dee servants. “Good morning, Your Highness! You’re awake early,” he greeted.

“Hiii! Where’s Meta and Dedede?” Kirby asked, looking around. 

“I think they’re still asleep.”

“Oh! Then I’m gonna wake them up!” He took off running.

“Wait, Your Highness—!”

The pink puffball made a beeline for the king’s bedchamber. He pushed open the doors with surprising force and bellowed “WAKE UP!”

“Wah! Whuh?! Huh? What?” the startled king exclaimed as he shot up out of his bed. 

Dedede was accounted for, but Meta Knight was nowhere to be seen. Kirby tilted his head in confusion. “Where’s Meta?”

“Whuh?” Dedede questioned. “In his room, probably.”

“ His room?” Kirby still didn’t understand.

“Not anymore,” a voice said from behind him.

Kirby turned and saw Meta Knight, adjusting his mask so that it sat properly on his face. 

“Good morning.”

The kid looked between the king and the knight, trying to wrap his head around this inconsistency. “Don’t married couples sleep in the same bed?”

Dedede and Meta both immediately looked awkward. “Er…” the former began, “well, yeah, but—”

“He snores,” Meta cut across hastily. 

“Wait, what? I don’t snore!”

“I, uh, suddenly feel famished,” the knight continued. “We should eat.”

“Breakfast!” Kirby cheered, and his questions were pushed to the back of his mind.

They ate breakfast together as per usual, and then upon Bandana Waddle Dee entering the castle and beckoning Kirby, the child quickly left with his friend, leaving the king and knight together, alone.

“So… I think we’ve got a problem, Meta.”

“Indeed.”

“The kid’s got the wrong idea about us,” Dedede continued. “I guess it’s ‘cause we never explained it to him.”

“Yes. We should probably tell him that we’re not like other married couples,” Meta concurred.

“Yeah, but… is he gonna get it?”

“What do you mean?”

Dedede folded his arms and frowned. “I can’t help but think that he’s gonna misunderstand. Kirby’s not stupid, I’m not sayin’ that, just…” He sighed. “Imagine tellin’ a kid you didn’t marry for love when all they know is that people marry for love.”

Meta closed his eyes. “I see the problem. I’m not sure how Kirby knows about marriage and married couples… but he seems to know enough that he will be onto us. …Sire.”

“Mm?”

“We ought to try to explain it to him, at least. To avoid more miscommunication, surely.”

Dedede sighed again. “Yeah, I s’pose you’re right. …We don’t have to do it right away, right?”

Meta shook his head. “No. We need time to figure it out, anyway.”

Funnily enough, that conversation was all but forgotten as the days passed. Neither wanting to think too much about the difficult nature of telling Kirby the truth, the two put it off.

It seemed, for now, that everything was fine. Kirby spent time playing with Bandana Waddle Dee and his parents, and every day they’d have meals in the castle and talk about their days. 

Kirby had become accustomed to this new arrangement and was happy about it. After all, living in the castle and getting to spend even more time with his friends was a good thing. So, when he overheard a particular conversation between the king and the knight, he began to worry.

Kirby had been wandering around the castle, a little bit bored. Dedede and Meta had important things to discuss, so they were too busy to play at the moment. Kirby didn’t know what it was they were discussing, but he knew it had something to do with paperwork, which was very boring, and they were having their important discussion in Dedede’s bedchamber. He also didn’t know why they chose there of all places, but he didn’t question it.

“Ugh… boring!” the child cried. “Are they done yet? …Wait, I could go ask them!”

He made his way over to the bedchamber and approached the door, but before he could do anything, he heard their conversation.

“Is that the last of it, then?”

“Should be.”

They’re still talking about paperwork? Kirby thought, dejected.

“Crazy how everyone wants to see this little piece of paper for everythin’.”

“It is an official document, sire. We are married.”

“Heheh.” Dedede sounded sad, somehow. “Feels kinda ridiculous, doesn’t it?”

“...How so?”

“Just that… this is a sham of a marriage.”

The child recoiled upon hearing those words. A sham?!

“It’s not a sham. It’s perfectly legally binding,” Meta replied, a strain in his voice.

Legally…? But isn’t marriage about… love?

“Yeah, but…” Dedede sighed. “Never mind.”

“...”

Kirby didn’t understand what this meant, but it couldn’t be good. Their voices sounded upset, and that word ‘sham’ made him uneasy. He quickly left, running away from the bedchamber and out of the castle, growing more upset as he ran, until he bumped into something.

“Ah!” he cried.

“Kirby!” a familiar voice replied. “I’m so sorry!”

“Bandana!”

Bandana Waddle Dee waved joyfully. “Hey there! …Are you alright?”

“Mm-mm,” he replied, shaking his head sadly.

Bandana was immediately concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t understand. I overheard Meta and Dedede saying something…”

“What?”

“...Dedede said their marriage was a sham.”

His friend let out a horrified gasp. “His Majesty said…?!”

“What does it mean, Bandana?!” Kirby exclaimed, even more worried than before.

“What did His Majesty—I mean, King Meta Knight—say to that?”

“He said something about it being legally binding, but… don’t people get married for love? Isn’t that what it’s about?” 

Bandana Waddle Dee looked even more concerned. “Yes, of course… But if… if they’re saying that, then it sounds like…”

“Sounds like what?” 

“Oh, I don’t wanna say it…” 

“Tell me, please!” Kirby cried, tears welling up in his eyes.

“It sounds like… maybe they’re not getting along well… or, worse… they’re not in love with each other anymore…”

“What?! But then, doesn’t that mean they could… stop being together?” Kirby didn’t know the precise word for it.

“You think they’d get divorced?”

“‘Di…vorce’? I don’t like the sound of that… What does it mean?”

“When a married couple doesn’t wanna be together anymore, they get divorced. It means they stop being married,” Bandana explained sadly.

Oh, no… I didn’t know that could happen… “If they get divorced… then they’ll be sad, and everything will be sad… we can’t let that happen!” Kirby declared, determined. “How do we fix it?”

“Er… I dunno, Kirby…” the Waddle Dee looked pensive. “Hmm… I guess… you’ve gotta make them fall in love again. Remind them why they fell in love with each other in the first place.”

“That’s great! Except… I dunno why they fell in love,” Kirby acknowledged.

“Ah. Hmm…”

“Don’t worry, Bandana! I’ll think of something!”

And Kirby did think of something. He didn’t know much about romance, but he figured if he could make King Dedede and Meta Knight spend more time together, the result would be good, right? The more time they spent together, the more chance they would fall in love with each other all over again. So, his master plan involved getting the two to play with him or go on short adventures with him and Bandana Waddle Dee whenever possible—which included actively taking them away from their other responsibilities.

When Meta wasn’t in the castle, he was on the Halberd, keeping watch of the comings and goings in the land. Meanwhile, Dedede did spend most of his time in the castle, either relaxing or attending to royal business such as reading over documents that his subjects brought him, or sometimes, having them read them to him aloud while he gave his consent on governmental decisions. So, it was safe to say that they were busy people. But the pink puffball knew that neither the king nor the knight could say no to him, so it was easy to get them to buckle.

So far, Kirby’s plan seemed to be working. He would occasionally see them glance longingly at each other, and even though he knew little, he knew enough to see the affection they had for each other. Bandana concurred, and when the king and knight returned to their duties, Kirby and Bandana would discuss.

It was one of the days in which Kirby dragged his adoptive parents away from work to play. Eventually, the child succumbed to slumber, and he was carried to his bed to sleep peacefully.

“He really did tucker himself out, didn’t he?” Dedede whispered fondly as they left Kirby’s room. 

“It’s not surprising,” Meta returned, sounding just as endeared. “You look just as tired if not more so, sire.”

“Yeah, well, I’m older than the kid, I get tired easier.”

“As am I, yet I do not find myself needing to sleep so often,” Meta retorted smugly.

Dedede glanced at him and smirked. “Heh. Touché, Meta.”

Huh… He didn’t fight that one, the knight noted. He really must be tired. “You ought to sleep, Dedede.”

The penguin stretched his arms and yawned. “Yeah. But hey.”

“Yes?”

“You gotta hit the hay too, okay?” he looked serious. “It’s no good to stay up late and get no sleep. Even powerful warriors like you gotta rest.”

He’s worrying about me… This was not new, as they had always cared for each other’s wellbeing, but somehow, it felt different. Meta felt different. “I will, sire.”

“Good.” The king yawned again. “I’m goin’ to bed. G’night, Meta.”

As Dedede departed and made for his bedchamber, Meta Knight watched. “Goodnight, sire.”

“Meta!” 

The loud exclamation jolted the knight awake. He had, up until this moment, been fast asleep. “Wh-what?”

King Dedede was standing in the doorway, divested of his robe and crown, looking like he had just experienced a shock. “Did we forget somethin’?!”

“Forget… forget what? ” Meta pressed, rubbing his eyes. 

“The papers, the papers! I… ugh…” Dedede held a hand to his head as if it were in pain.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No, no… I just woke up thinkin’ we forgot somethin’ important. Can you come look over some of this with me? Please?”

Despite his sleepiness, Meta agreed. “Alright.” He briefly eyed his mask, sitting nearby, but decided it was unnecessary. It was only him and his husband, after all.

“Was it this that you were thinking about?”

“Er… maybe? I dunno…”

The knight ran his finger down the page to the next section. “This?”

“I think it was… somethin’ to do with food? Havin’ enough food?” 

It had been a short while, yet they were still no closer to figuring out what on Popstar the king was worried about. The two were sitting on Dedede’s bed, papers strewn all around.

Meta put the page he was looking at down and picked up a different one. “It sounds like you’re thinking of the laws surrounding providing for children. They do encompass having basic needs such as food, water, shelter, etcetera.” He held the page out for Dedede to read.

The king squinted at it for a moment, then threw himself back on the bed. “Ugh… could you read it to me?”

He is most definitely going to fall asleep, the swordsman thought, but he obliged. “‘Guardians are to provide adequate nourishment, preferably healthy and balanced diets for their children. They are also required to have suitable housing, with clean, running water, proper ventilation, and working power.’” He paused and looked at Dedede.

“Mm-hmm. I think we’ve got that covered,” he mumbled.

“We should continue this tomorrow, sire. You are clearly too tired.”

The king didn’t object. Instead, he turned his head so he could look at his husband through half-lidded eyes. “...I had a nightmare.”

I see, Meta thought to himself. That explains his behaviour. “A nightmare? In Dream Land? That doesn’t bode well.”

“Heheheh. I don’t even… remember it.” He rubbed the side of his head. “But it really freaked me out. …I didn’t wanna be alone. That’s why… I went and woke you up.”

The knight couldn’t help but smile at that. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“You smiled.”

“Huh?”

Dedede looked surprised and happy. “I don’t get to see your face often. …I like it.”

That took Meta aback. He… likes my face? He could feel his face warming and knew he must be blushing. Without his mask, it would be plain to see.

The king smiled wider, then proceeded to yawn again. 

Meta quickly looked away and turned his attention back to the page he was holding. “Would… would you like me to continue reading, sire?”

“Sure. It’ll probably put me to sleep, hahaha.”

“Heh.” With that, he began to read off the page once more. “...‘Furniture should be in good condition and incapable of causing harm to children. When children are young, hazards such as stairs and cupboards should be barricaded and locked in order to prevent harm from coming to them. In addition………”

He read until he reached the end of the page, and when Meta turned to look at his husband beside him, he saw Dedede had fallen asleep. 

Good. Let’s hope that this time, his sleep is peaceful. …Now I should go to sleep, too. 

But he didn’t want to leave. 

I can’t sleep here, he reasoned with himself. Yet, the knight couldn’t help but lay back on the soft mattress. I’ll just… close my eyes for a second… and then I’ll get up…

Morning came, and when Meta Knight woke, he realised he had never actually gotten up. He turned his head and saw Dedede beside him, still asleep.

Not wanting to wake him, he manoeuvred slowly and carefully out of the bed, taking note of the papers he had never bothered to clean up. I should deal with that, he thought, but he shook his head. He began to tiptoe towards the door.

“You’re really tryin’ to sneak out?”

He was so surprised by that, his wings spread out involuntarily. Meta turned to look back at the king, embarrassed.

It was now evident that Dedede had not been asleep. He had a smirk on his face. 

“I didn’t want to disturb you. But it seems you were awake after all. …Were you pretending to be asleep?”

“Mm, not so much pretendin’. Just had my eyes closed. I was tryin’ to get back to sleep, but then I heard you movin’.”

“Ah.” Well. This is humiliating. And once again, without his mask, the knight’s exasperation and embarrassment were plain to see on his face. “I usually rise before you, sire.”

“You get up, yeah,” Dedede admitted, nodding. “I wake up kinda early, but then I just go back to sleep. Happens a couple times. I tell you what, I was surprised to wake up and see you there, Meta.”

“...I had intended to return to my own chamber, but slumber took me before I could.”

“Heheheh. No stress.” He stretched his arms and let out a sigh of contentment. “I could go for something to eat.”

Shortly thereafter, they sat at the table with Kirby for breakfast as the child ate with gusto. Usually, Dedede would follow suit, but he was lost in thought as he stared down at his plate. Somethin’ about that… about havin’ him in the bed with me… was kinda nice. Gah! Don’t tell me I’m into him…!

He slapped a hand to his head, which did not escape the two other people at the table. “What’s wrong, Dedede?” Kirby asked, looking concerned. 

“Huh? Oh, nothin’! J-just remembered I forgot somethin’,” he replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

“What was it?” Meta Knight questioned.

Looking upon his companion, currently barefaced so he could eat, did not help matters. All ideas for excuses seemed to instantly vanish from his brain. “Er… I forgot.”

“You forgot what you just remembered?” Meta pressed, looking utterly bemused. His eyes seemed to bore into the king.

“Yes.”

The knight blinked, his expression inscrutable. Then, ever so slightly, his lips curled into a smile. “Heh.”

Aw, man… you can’t do this to me, Dedede thought, quickly shoving some food into his beak.

“It’s not running away from you, sire,” Meta commented, grinning.

Unable to respond, the king simply focused on eating.

“Did you have anything planned for today, Kirby?”

“Nothing yet,” the kid replied, looking thoughtful. “Hmm…”

“As fun as it is playing with you,” the knight continued, “the king and I have much business that we ought to attend to.”

“Hmm… okay. I’m gonna go adventuring with Bandana!”

“Please stay safe.” Meta Knight looked concerned.

“We’ll be fine, Meta!”

Dedede had finally calmed down and was able to rejoin the conversation. “And you remember to come home in time for dinner, alright?”

“Of course!”

“Still can’t get over how beautiful it is up there.”

“Indeed.”

The king and the knight stood under the night sky, looking up at the twinkling stars. “It’s nice to just get to relax and look at them,” Dedede sighed contentedly.

Meta was deep in thought. Dedede… there’s something about him. About the way he looks at me, about the way he talks to me. …I’m succumbing to it, I know. 

“You okay?”

Meta jumped a little bit and turned to look at him.

“Whoa. Didn’t mean to startle you, heheh.”

“N-no, I was just… thinking.” About how… I’m falling for you.

Dedede grinned. “Don’t think too hard.”

“What do you consider ‘thinking too hard’, sire?” Meta pressed.

“Hmm.” He scratched the side of his head. “Thinkin’ so hard you stress yourself out.”

“Ah. I see. I will try not to.”

“It’s not an order,” the king said softly. “Just a suggestion.”

“I know.”

He huffed a laugh and looked back up at the stars. 

“Sire.”

Dedede turned to look at Meta once more. “Yeah?”

Meta Knight thought over what to say. Should I tell him? …I can’t imagine any good coming from it… unless… he felt the same way. He felt anxiety as he thought about it. Could it be possible?

“Hey.”

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of his husband’s voice. “Mm?”

Dedede made to open his beak to speak but closed it again. 

Oh, no. Did I make him feel uncomfortable? “Was I staring?” Meta asked hesitantly.

“A little. That was some intense eye contact, hahah. …Trying to initiate a surprise starin’ contest, are you?”

“Heheh. Perhaps. Though I do presume I blinked, which would mean I lost.”

“Yeah, well, so did I. We lost together.” Dedede smiled.

Meta nodded. “Indeed. We lost together.”

“I think it’s working! I really think it’s working, Bandana!”

“Yes! That’s good to hear! Divorce is no longer on the horizon!” He gleefully pumped a hand into the air.

Kirby beamed. “I really want them to be happy.”

“I know you do, Kirby. I do too! I know their private life is none of my business, but at the same time, they are our kings, so it’s kinda… everyone’s business.” Bandana Waddle Dee looked a bit exasperated at that. “Funny how things turn out, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh. I never expected they’d be like dads to me,” the pink puffball said thoughtfully. 

Bandana nodded vigorously. “I didn’t see that one coming. …Honestly, I didn’t see the royal wedding coming, either.”

“Huh?” Kirby tilted his head. “Whaddaya mean?”

“Oh, just…” He shrugged. “I never thought they’d make it official, y’know. Do you remember when they said they were ‘sworn partners’?”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded.

“Don’t you think that sounds like being married?”

“...Huh. Now that I think about it… yeah.”

“Hahahaha! Well, aside from that, I hope everything turns out alright.” He looked off in the direction of the castle and the battleship for a moment. “Though, if anyone can fix a marriage, it’s you, Kirby.” He looked back at his friend happily. “You’ve saved the world countless times from countless villains, most of the time on your own! Compared to that, saving a marriage is a piece of cake! You got this!”

Kirby jumped into the air. “Yeah!”

Meta Knight stood on the deck of the Halberd, ruminating to himself. He had been standing there for the better part of a day, wrapped in his cape as he stared at nothing in particular.

What am I to do?

His crew had tried to approach him and check on him, but the knight asked to be left alone with his thoughts. Is this not foolish? Am I not a fool? 

The sky was bright and blue and there were white, fluffy clouds floating in it. It was a tranquil day, perfect for relaxing or napping. Castle Dedede stood tall, and when Meta cast his eyes over it, he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart.

…I didn’t foresee this. How could I have?

He closed his eyes, and memories filled his mind. All of the king’s grins, cocky and heartfelt alike. His bombastic personality, and the way he kept his kindness close to his heart. The way he wielded his weapon, strong and confident, and how he slung it over his shoulder with ease.

“Why do you have to be so… so…!”

Meta opened his wings and flapped them hard, ascending to the sky and flying through it, with no particular location in mind. The air was refreshing and helped him to think a little clearer.

I suppose it was inevitable, he acknowledged. We had fought by each other’s side before, and with our guardianship of Kirby, we became closer. We got married, even. It’s only logical that I would come to fall for him.

His mind flitted to the memories of his wedding day and how amid his nerves, he found himself gazing upon the face of Dedede and finding comfort in it.

The flapping of his wings slowed, and he slowly made his way back to the Halberd’s deck. Of course, he thought as he descended. Deciding to be wed… that’s where it began.

“Your Majesty, is everything alright?” one of the Waddle Dees asked, concern apparent in their voice.

“Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about me,” Dedede replied, waving a hand. 

It wasn’t the first time that he’d gotten that question. His servants kept inquiring, presumably picking up on the king’s dejected demeanour. Dedede was sitting on his throne, deep in thought.

I got a problem. The kinda problem people don’t usually have. I’ve fallen in love with my husband. …Sounds stupid.

He took a deep breath in and let out a melancholy sigh. Can’t believe this… No, I s’pose I can. He rested the side of his face in his hand as he leant his arm against the arm of the throne.

He thought about the knight, how he was proud and stern. How he always donned that mask that hid everything but his eyes. Oh, those eyes. The windows to the soul, they call them, Dedede mulled.

Whenever the knight's mask broke, he would flee, always wanting to hide his face. 

There was nothing wrong with it, no reason to hide it, the king thought, but yet, it seemed to be a part of his pride. Keeping up an intimidating front, belying the softness behind the steel.

Dedede had come to recognise different emotions via what little he could see of the knight's face. When it’s all you can see, you get pretty good at readin’ eyes.

He thought back to all the times Meta Knight had doffed his mask, usually to eat, but how he seemed to be becoming more comfortable around his friends. Around Dedede. 

Instinctively, the king held a hand over his heart as its beating hastened. Of course. I couldn’t help it. He’s honour-bound, loyal, big on them knightly virtues. The kinda guy you wanna have around. …The kinda guy you wanna have as a partner. 

He thought back to their wedding day, to how he walked down the aisle with that giddy grin on his face that he couldn’t suppress. Even though he felt nervous and awkward, seeing those yellow eyes glinting at him from behind the mask made him smile.

I guess I shoulda known, he thought, that gettin’ married was gonna make all this happen.

A couple of days after their melancholy pinings, the king and the knight once again were discussing official business in Dedede’s bedchamber. The day had been long and tiring, and both of them weren’t in the best of moods to be dealing with paperwork at all.

“It says here that once this form is signed,” Meta said, holding up a piece of paper, “all we have to do is return it to the department with copies of our official documents.”

“Ugh. How did this kingdom get so full of red tape?” Dedede sighed, annoyed. 

“It is the nature of government to be bureaucratic.” The swordsman placed the paper on the nearby bed. 

No kiddin’. He glanced briefly at the bed. As he did so, he felt his neck heat up. It’s not even hot in here. Why am I…? He began to question, but he quickly shook his head. 

Meta was staring at him. It felt like a piercing stare, which only contributed to the strange warmth in Dedede’s body. It made him even more irritable, on top of the annoyance he felt because of the paperwork.

He folded his arms and turned his face away. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like that! ” Dedede snapped. “...You don’t know what those eyes do to me.”

Meta said nothing in response. What little of his face could be seen showed his confusion.

“You got no idea, do you?” Dedede continued, turning back to face him. “This whole marriage idea was a mess,” he muttered bitterly.

“That was your idea,” Meta retorted quietly.

“ My idea?! It was your idea!”

“No, it was yours! ” the knight yelled back, clenching his fists. It seemed Dedede had ignited the same fiery feeling in Meta that he himself was feeling, the feeling that seemed to make him want to fight.

“You sure about that?! I don’t think I coulda come up with somethin’ so stupid! ”

“Why, you—! Of course, you and your massive ego can’t do any wrong! You can’t see past the end of your beak, Dedede!”

“OH, YEAH?!” the king roared.

“YES! You didn’t think it through, and now we’re here! If only I’d had the foresight…” Meta closed his eyes. “But no. I went along with it instead! Because…!”

“Because?!” Dedede leaned forward, eager to hear what Meta Knight had to say.

“Because I thought it would be fine! I thought nothing would change!” he bellowed. “But you… you’re so… you’re so…”

He could tell that Meta was getting worked up, but despite his better judgement, all Dedede wanted to do was egg him on. “Go ahead, tell me! What am I, Meta?!”

“INFURIATING!” With that, the small knight lunged at the king, pushing into his chest and bowling him over.

“Oof!” Dedede grunted as he fell on his back, shutting his eyes hard as he winced. When he reopened them, all he could see was Meta standing on him, his eyes glowing behind the metal mask. His wings were spread, obscuring whatever was behind him from view.

The atmosphere in the room had changed considerably. Both of them were panting a little, and Dedede felt Meta grip his robes tight.

“It’s times like these…” Dedede murmured, “That I wish that mask of yours wasn’t in the way.”

Meta blinked for a moment, taking it in. Then, to Dedede’s surprise, he felt the knight’s grip loosen.

One of Meta’s hands grasped the mask and slowly removed it before gently dropping it on the floor below. It made a clattering sound, the only sound that filled the room aside from their breathing.

“Now what?” Meta asked, his expressions much clearer to see. He looked apprehensive.

Looking upon his face, Dedede couldn’t help but grin. “I’m all yours, babe.”

The knight shut his eyes and sighed. “You can’t say anything straight, can you?”

“Neither can you.”

Meta opened his eyes once more for a moment, then leaned in close and pressed his lips against the king’s beak, gently closing his eyes again.

Dedede followed suit, closing his eyes as well, kissing Meta Knight back. Finally, he thought, feeling a rush of affection and contentment, replacing all the anger. He reached up with both arms and gently wrapped them around Meta, being careful of his wings.

After a moment, the knight pulled away and simply gazed into Dedede’s eyes. “...I’m sorry for what I said.”

“What?” the king replied, having forgotten a great majority of their spat.

“I’m sorry that I said that you can’t see past the end of your beak,” he clarified, looking genuinely apologetic. “And that I called your ego massive. I didn’t mean it. I was just angry. I shouldn’t have said such things. …Nor should I have shouted at all.”

Dedede shook his head. “No, you’re right, heh. I didn’t think any of this through. And my ego is massive, hahaha!”

Meta couldn’t help but smirk. “To be fair to you, Dedede, I am… just as obstinate as you. So it is hypocritical of me to criticise you.”

“Heheheh. We’re just as bad as each other. …I’m sorry for yellin’ at you. And sayin’ the marriage idea was stupid. It was actually pretty smart.” He closed his eyes. “To tell the truth… I got angry ‘cause I’ve got it bad for you. That’s probably obvious now, but, y’know, I thought I’d say it anyway.” He reopened his eyes and gazed into Meta’s. “I just didn’t know what to do with myself. Not an excuse for yellin’ at you, though.”

“I understand,” Meta replied. “After all, I felt the same. That is to say… I’ve fallen in love with you, Dedede.”

Dedede felt his cheeks warm and his heart beat a little faster. “I’ve fallen in love with you, too, Meta.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the knight still clinging to the king’s robes, and the king still holding the knight in his arms. 

“Could you kiss me like that again?” Dedede requested of his husband, grinning sheepishly.

“Heheheh. Of course,” Meta chuckled, leaning in once more.

When it came time to leave the bedchamber, the king and the knight did so, only to be greeted by the sight of their ward, the young Kirby, looking up at them with a confused expression on his face.

“Kirby!” they cried in unison. Was he there the entire time?! Meta fretted.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Meta and Dedede exchanged looks. “You didn’t hear that, did you?” the latter asked awkwardly.

At that moment, Kirby looked around, prompting the two adults to follow suit. They saw that there were some Waddle Dee servants nearby, who quickly averted their eyes. “Everyone heard it,” the child said simply.

Magnificent, Meta thought bitterly. 

“Ah,” was all Dedede had to say in response.

“You’re not gonna get a divorce, are you?”

“Divorce?!” the king gasped.

“How do you know what that is?” the knight questioned.

“Bandana told me.”

“...I see.” Is that where he’s been getting all of his knowledge of how marriage works?

Dedede looked at Meta apprehensively. “Well, no, I don’t think so.”

“The thought had never once crossed my mind,” he reassured.

“Oh, good!” Kirby replied, visibly perking up. “But I still don’t understand.”

“Kirby,” Meta began, “just because Dedede and I had an argument doesn’t mean we’re going to terminate our partnership.”

“Uh-huh, I know that.” The puffball nodded. “We’ve fought loads of times and we’re still friends!”

Well. He is surprisingly astute for one so young. 

“Then why’d you think we’d get divorced over an argument?” the king asked.

“Well… I heard something you said once,” Kirby admitted. “You said your marriage was a sham. And I thought that meant that you didn’t love each other anymore.”

The king looked confused for a moment. Then, his eyes lit up with realisation, and he looked ashamed. “Aw, kid… I didn’t even think you’d be listenin’ to us talk.”

I see… where this concern came from, Meta thought, feeling ashamed as well. “We should have explained before, Kirby. We didn’t get married under normal circumstances.”

“Huh?”

“In order to take you in as our ward,” the knight continued, “we had to be married.”

“And that’s why we decided to do it, y’see. So we weren’t marryin’ for love in the first place,” Dedede added.

“...Oh. But… I heard you two say you’d fallen in love with each other.”

“Right, you were listenin’ in, heh,” Dedede chuckled. “Well… that’s also true. I guess I started fallin’ for him after we got married.” He pointed a thumb at the small swordsman beside him. “We kinda did things backwards, huh?”

No kidding. “Indeed,” Meta said with a nod. “I did not expect to become so enamoured with the king, yet, here we are.”

“Hahahaha! Can’t really blame you, sweetheart, I’m quite a catch.”

Meta looked up at his husband, smirking behind the mask. “I see your unbridled confidence is back in full force.”

“It’s a pretty big ego boost to have someone like you love someone like me,” Dedede replied, a loving look in his eye.

Meta Knight was extremely flattered and felt his cheeks warm, but outwardly, he simply chuckled. “Heheh. Of course.”

“So that means my plan worked!” Kirby chimed, reminding the couple that their flirtatious banter had an audience.

“Eh? What plan?”

“I thought if I could make you fall back in love, you’d stay together!” He beamed proudly.

Meta merely blinked. “What? How could you ‘make’ us fall in love?”

Kirby shrugged. “I just kinda kept making you do stuff with me, ‘cause I thought if you spent more time together, you’d, like… realise why you fell in love in the first place.”

“Wait. That was the reason?” the knight asked, incredulous.

“I never picked up on that!” Dedede exclaimed. “The kid’s smarter than us, Meta.”

Why does this not surprise me in the least? “It seems so, sire.”

“Heeheehee!” the puffball giggled. 

“Oh, for the love of Nova, you've gotta be kidding me.”

“Nope!”

After finally learning the truth of King Dedede and Meta Knight’s harebrained scheme, Kirby immediately relayed his newfound knowledge to his bandana-clad friend. Kirby thought it was funny, but Bandana Waddle Dee looked very much like he thought it was crazy.

“No wonder I never saw the wedding coming… they got married on a whim!” Bandana exclaimed. “Oh, I knew they were eccentric but this is something else! And I know I shouldn't criticise His Majesty and his husband, but…” he held his head in his hands. 

Kirby merely watched his friend, tilting his head to the side. Boy, Bandana sure seems upset. “Are you mad?”

“Mad?” Bandana’s eyes widened. “No, I’m not mad! I’m just… surprised, is all. They may be weird, but they’re still the kings of Dream Land, and more importantly, they’re still my friends.” 

“Yay, friends!” the kid cheered. 

“Hey, that reminds me! I said that if anyone could fix a marriage, it’s you.” The Waddle Dee shook his head. “Well, it seems that you made an excellent matchmaker, Kirby! I’m impressed! …And a little scared, to be honest, but that’s nothing new.” 

“Scared? Why?”

“Oh, just, you’re way too good at way too many things. Wouldn’t wanna get on your bad side, haha!”

“Heeheehee! No, you wouldn’t!” Kirby replied with a big grin.

It was a few days after the sworn partners had confessed the truth to their ward. The king and the knight sat on the grass with Kirby and Bandana Waddle Dee, taking a moment to relax. Kirby was talking animatedly to Bandana, King Dedede was half asleep, and Meta Knight was reading a book.

“Oh boy, Kirby, you should’ve heard it. This news has been all over the kingdom!”
“Really?”

“Yep! The good thing is, since there’s no threat of anything bad happening, everyone’s just kinda gone about their day. I tell you, there would’ve been a panic all over Dream Land if they thought the royal couple were gonna divorce!”

“Whuh?” Dedede interjected, having only just tuned back into the conversation. “I heard ‘royal’.”

“Your Majesty! It was nothing, really,” Bandana replied. “Just how what you told Kirby about why you really got married has spread.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” He yawned nonchalantly. “I never thought the people would be so invested in our love life.”

“Well, you are the king,” Meta pointed out, briefly looking up from his book. “And I am your consort. We are, in some sense, the most important people in the kingdom. Next to the prince and hero himself.” He gestured to Kirby.

Dedede grinned. “Yeah, you’re right, I am the most important person in Dream Land.”

“That was not an attempt to massage your ego,” Meta retorted, sounding mildly amused as well as exasperated.

“Well, it shoulda been!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Your Majesty, Your Benevolence, Your Eminence, Your Magnificence—should I go on?” he continued, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, you should,” Dedede replied, his grin only getting more smug.

“Alright, then. Oh, Dedede, you’re the most handsome, strongest, magnanimous, forbearant, intelligent, modest, selfless monarch the likes of the universe has ever seen,” Meta proclaimed, in such a dramatic tone that it made Kirby and Bandana giggle and snicker. “What you are is simply the best, and what you aren’t is greedy, gluttonous, prideful, wrathful, slothful, envious, or—”

“Okay, that’s enough! I know you’re just makin’ fun of me now.”

“Hahahahaha!” the kids laughed uprorariously.

“It’s all in jest, sire, I assure you,” Meta insisted, holding back laughter.

“I’ll give you jest,” the king muttered under his breath.

The knight snorted and put his book down before giving his husband an incredulous look. “And what is that supposed to mean, pray tell?”

“...I’ll figure that out later.”

“Hahahaha! Empty threats, I see.”

“Heeheehee! You’re silly,” Kirby said.

“He is, isn’t he?” Meta agreed, looking at Dedede.

“You, too, Meta.”

“Eh?”

“You’re silly too.”

“Ha! You tell him, Kirby!” the penguin cheered triumphantly.

“Are you really getting a child to fight your battles for you?”

“Why not? He’s clearly the better fighter, ain’t he? He’s beat the both of us every single time.”

“...Touché.”

“Y’know,” Bandana interrupted, “I’ve been wondering something. Sometimes married couples renew their vows, right?”
“How do you know so much about marriage customs?” Meta questioned.

“...I read about it in books. But, considering you two didn’t get married for love the first time, and now you’re actually in love with each other, why don’t you renew your vows?”

“What does that mean?” Kirby asked.

“Oh, well, it would mean they’d have another wedding, basically,” Bandana explained. “Like, they’re already married, but they’d do the whole ceremony and reception again.”

“Another wedding? Another big cake?!”

“Oh, no,” Dedede responded, holding his hands out in front of him. “Not yet, anyway. It’s too early. But maybe sometime in the future.” He turned to his husband. “Whaddaya think, Meta?” 

“I think that sounds nice. But I agree, it’s much too early to be planning such festivities right now. And we should probably make sure that Kirby won’t eat the entire cake,” the knight added, glancing at the pink puffball.

“Aww…”

It was a quiet night in Dream Land and the sky was full of stars. Out on the grass lay the king and the knight, looking up and taking them in.

“How many do you think there are, Meta?”

“More than we could possibly fathom, sire.”

“I was thinkin’ millions. Billions, even. Trillions!” He turned his head and glanced at the swordsman beside him. “What comes after trillions?”

Meta Knight turned to look at him, eyes glowing even more in the darkness. “Quadrillions.”

“And after that?”

“Quintillions.”

Dedede smiled. “And after that ?”

“Sextillions. We could go forever, you know.”

“Heh. I know.” He turned back to the stars. “Ain’t they pretty?”

“They’re beautiful,” Meta agreed, following suit and gazing at the sky once more.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

Dedede moved his arm so his hand was close to his husband’s, then held it out, palm facing upwards.

Meta looked at it, then placed his hand in Dedede’s.

The king smiled. “I realised somethin’.”

“What would that be?”

“I’ve never thanked you.”

Meta’s eyes widened. “Thanked me for what?”

“Well, specifically, the whole marriage and adoptin’ Kirby thing. But really, I gotta say… thank you for stickin’ with me. ‘Cause I know I can be a blowhard, and that can get pretty tirin’ to deal with. You won’t catch me admittin’ that in front of anyone else, though. That’s only for you to hear, sweetheart.”

“...Heheh. It is an honour… and it is my pleasure, Dedede.” Meta closed his eyes. “And I must thank you as well, for am I not always… the easiest to deal with, either. I have been foolhardy in the past, and made some decisions I rather regret.”

“Like tryin’ to overthrow me that one time?”

“Yes.”

“Hahahahaha!” Dedede laughed uproariously. “We’re in the same boat, Meta. I’ve done stupid things too. Which you know, of course.”

“Of course. But still, my king… thank you.” He opened his eyes again and stared into Dedede’s.

The king smiled. “What was it you said? 'It’s an honour and a pleasure'? Well, same to you.”

The knight simply looked at him for a moment, before suddenly pulling his mask off to reveal his face. He was smiling.

That only made Dedede grin wider. “I like seein’ you smile.”

Meta closed his eyes again, seeming a little bashful. “And I like seeing you smile.”

“Heheh. Ain’t that somethin’.” The king looked back at the stars for a moment. “Say, Meta…”

“Yes?”

“You hungry?”

The knight huffed a laugh. “I could eat.”

“Well,” Dedede replied, sitting up, “I got a hankerin’ for a burger, myself. Let’s get some food!”

Meta got to his feet and replaced his mask. “Indeed. Let us eat!”