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I Can Tell You Know Where Paradise Is <3

Summary:

Grian and Scar's 500th anniversary is coming up, and they want a big celebration for it.

Problem is? Almost none of the hermits know they're married.

So what's their solution? Make them help with their anniversary party and tell them after the fact, obviously!

Notes:

Uh, Hi! I am so bad at posting...

Anyways, the title is from "Suburbia Overture/Greetings from Mary Bell Township/(Vampire) Culture,/Love Me, Normally" by Will Wood

No trigger warnings, but if I did miss something, tell me! :3
WOAH I CAUGHT ONE. At one point, Etho mentions Sam and refers to him as a "past abuser", it's a small section during etho and Joel's scene and skippable!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Scar and Grian had a lot in common, and the hermits of Hermitcraft would tell you that quite a lot.

 

“They both shared passions for building, pranking and were both absolute fools,” were the most common answers.

 

But they also shared an overflowing love for each other.

 

Though, that is why they were married. But that isn't what they told the Hermits. The hermits thought they were just oblivious, love-sick idiots. 

 

They honestly liked it that way.

 

It's not that they didn't want the hermits to know, they honestly kind of did. But when Grian was made aware of an underground betting ring around their relationship that Pearl was winning, he decided to hold off a little longer on telling everyone. Grian is a good brother, so he was going to let her keep that up. 

 

So that's why every wedding anniversary they went off-server to celebrate instead of just doing it there on Hermitcraft.

 

They both know that their wedding happened almost 500 years ago, but that didn't stop both of them from trying to slowly one-up the other every anniversary.

 

It had gotten to the point that Grian was kind of running out of ideas. This has been going on for decades. You have to give him some slack!

 

So that’s why Grian was stuck trying to coerce Scar to tell him what he wanted.

 

“Scarrr”

 

“Griannnn” 

 

He scoffed. Scar was not being very helpful right now! 

 

“Scar, please! What do you want for our anniversary!” He practically pleaded.

 

“If I tell you you'll use it against me! I will not allow it!” Scar looked away dramatically, crossing his arms across his chest.

 

“No, I won't! Scar please I've completely run out of ideas…” Grian admits, feeling slightly bad because he couldn't even come up with one idea on what to get Scar.

 

“Songbird, you know I'll take anything, right?” Scar says softly, back to looking at Grian.

 

He sighs. He does know that. It doesn't help though because he somehow has to one-up Scar . Theatrical, lovely Scar.

 

“Yeah, but I know anything that I'll get you won't be as good as what you get me!” 

 

“Love, you could get me a rock named Martha and I'd cherish it for the rest of my existence.” The man says, sincerely before he mumbles, “Actually that would be really cute…”

 

That does make Grian laugh, he never will get tired of this man.

 

“Grian I know what I want now!”

 

“Is it by chance a-a rock named Martha-” He bursts out laughing, at something not even remotely funny.

 

“Why yes it is! Why are you laughing at me Grian?! This isn't nice!! Oh, my feelings!” He says dramatically, like the 6-time theatre major he is.

 

After taking a few breaths, Grian just nods. He also decides to take that moment to step forward and hug Scar, his arms going around his neck.

 

Scar seems to slightly jump in surprise before quickly recovering and wrapping his arms around Grians waist, careful of his wings.

 

They stand there for a moment before there's a knock at Grian’s door, making them both jump.

 

Scar screams his classically Scar scream, before rushing off to the door a few feet away.

 

Grian takes that time to sit down in a dining chair that's less than two feet away from him. Why didn't they just sit down before?

 

“Why Hello There- Oh, Mumbo! Come on in!” Scar says easily, tone switching quickly at the realisation it's Mumbo.

 

They both come towards Grian, pulling out chairs as well, Scar grabbing the one next to him, while Mumbo sits across from them both, placing a box on the table.

 

“Oo! Mumbo whatcha get?!” Grian exclaims when the box is pulled out of Mumbo's inventory, happily putting his hands on the table, and slightly lifting himself off of his chair.

 

Mumbo laughs an anxious laugh, classically his (Why do all of his friends have signature laughs while he doesn't?! He scoffs good-naturedly under his breath.).

 

“It's a secret Grian!” He emphasises, and both Scar and Grian sigh.

 

“Please Mumboo!” Scar says as well, so apparently neither of them knows.

 

Mumbo sighs even if he has a smile, rubbing his face which slightly bumps his hat. 

 

Grian just throws his back against the chair, dramatically. “Fine!” He crosses his arms.

 

Scar decides to copy him, doing the same thing but almost knocking over his chair before Grians wing catches him.

 

“Oh thank you Songbird!” He exclaims, pressing a kiss to Grians cheek.

 

“Quit being romancers, I have news,” Mumbo says with a smile on his face.

 

“Whatever, what's it?” Grian rolls his eyes.

 

“Well, it's more of a question that news and-” Both Grian and Scar know that Mumbo won't stop frantically mumbling unless they stop him.

 

“Ask, Mumbo,” They both say in sync, jokingly looking over to glare at the other.

 

He pauses before speaking “What if you did your anniversary here this year?”

 

They both pause, looking confused at Mumbo.

 

“Why though?” Grian speaks first.

 

Mumbo gives them both good-natured glares.

 

“How long have you two been married, exactly?” He says cockily, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms.

 

“Uh…” Grian doesn’t know.

 

“Next one will be our five hund… OHHHHH” Scar exclaims.

 

“What?! Guys, tell me!” Grian pleads.

 

“Grian,” Scar turns to look at him. “It’’s about to be our exactly 500th anniversary.”

 

What about- OH THAT’S A “BIG NUMBER-”

 

Scar and Mumbo start laughing, “Yes, ‘Big Number’ Grian-” Mumbo says, fake care coating his voice as he leans across the table to place a hand on Grians shoulder.

 

“SHUT UP!” He squawks, throwing his arms around before covering Scar's mouth.

 

Eventually, they both stop laughing at Grian with Scar now clinging onto said man, and they start their conversation again.

 

“But- Yeah, uh, me and Pearl thought it would be nice!” Mumbo says, back to his anxious self.

 

Grian looks over to Scar, with a small smirk on his face.

 

“I mean…” He trails off, and Scar whips his head over to Grian.

 

“Actually?!” He calls, leaning off of him, a big smile on his face.

 

“I think it would be funny,” Grian looks back to Mumbo for a second, who looks slightly out of his element. “Would it just be us, Pearl and you setting it up?” He asks.

 

Mumbo seems to think before slowly shaking his head no. “I was thinking, that if you two said yes, we could get some of the server to help set it up,”

 

Grians grin grows. “Okay, perfect ,”

 

“Oh?” Mumbo says, seemingly scared but excited.

 

“Songbird, share with the class,” Scar pipes up as well.

 

“So you know how the server doesn’t know we’re married?” Grian says pointing between himself and Scar. Mumbo seems to pause before shouting.

 

“NO??” 

 

Grian and Scar pause. “You- You didn’t?!” Scar exclaimed for him and Grian.

 

“NO I JUST- I JUST THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT But that doesn’t make much sense does it with how you both act, oh my god how did I not know that-” Mumbo starts shouting before it ends with him just mumbling.

 

“Wait Mumbo, have you told anyone we were married then?” Grian asks.

 

“No, I haven’t!” Mumbo looks back up at Scar and Grian, shaking his hands in front of him.

 

Grian sighs, slouching back against his chair, his plan could still work .

 

“Well, now you know!” Scar says cheerfully.

 

Grian nods.

 

“Okay, but here’s my idea, we don’t tell the hermits who are willing to help who it’s for . They’re making an anniversary party for somebody but they just, don’t know who.”

 

Mumbo seems to go to protest, but then he smiles.

 

“That... could work,” He says before quickly tacting on “But that will mean that you two have to help set it up.”

 

Scar sighs, dramatically throwing a hand onto his forehead. “Oh, woe is me! I have to be and plan my own wedding anniversary when neither-” Scar grabs Grians shoulder, pulling them together so he can lean on him “of us could think of anything?! Oh, how dare you!” He pretends to wipe a tear away.

 

“He’s saying we don’t mind,” Grian translates for a slightly spluttering Mumbo.

 

“Yeah, in short,” Scar says, dropping the sarcasm he had before.

 

“Well then, how do we plan to do this…?”

 

 

Cleo was with BDubs trying to set up a location for… somebodies 500 th anniversary. That’s an incomprehensible amount of time to be MARRIED for. Cleos' single-season, day-long marriages didn’t last long, they couldn’t imagine being married for that long. But what was more confusing was that nobody knew who it was.

 

BDubs was humming away, levelling out the area they were at. 

 

BDubs knew all the drama, right? Cleo thought she did, but he usually knew even more, so it didn’t hurt to ask.

 

“Hey BDubs?” They asked, continuing to help clear out the area they were at.

 

“Oh, yes?” He asked, cheerily.

 

“Do you know whose anniversary it is?”

 

He shook his head, before realising Cleo couldn’t properly see that.

 

“No, actually. Do you?” He called, finishing off the section he was levelling out.

 

“Nope, why I asked you,” She removed the final block of their section, looking back to a pouty BDubs.

 

“I’m going to give them a good talking to when I find out then! They’ve been hiding this for too long!” He said before uncrossing his arms to place a shulker to throw his dirt into.

 

Cleo agreed. She couldn’t imagine BDubs or Scar getting married without telling her. They might not be their kid, but they still felt like they were.

 

“Either way, I have a building to build! Were you supposed to help with that?” He asks, considering nobody was truly sure what others' jobs were. Cleo was just here to help clear out the area and help with the building's layout.

 

“Layout duty, so semi-yeah,” BDubs nods in response

 

“Alright, do you know who else?” She shakes her head at his question.

 

“I’ll message Mumbo,” They pull out her communicator and message Mumbo that they’re ready for anyone with the room/layout job.

 

“I’m proud of him, I never expected him to be the one to plan something like this!” BDubs says like a proud father. Cleo nods, sending the message she was writing,

 

“Same, he’s always either grouped up in Scar and Grians chaos or an anxious mess,”

 

Mumbo whispered to you Just Tango, I’ll tell him you’re ready for him. Want me to call in the builders?

 

Cleo looked back up to BDubs, “He’s asking if we want the other builders here to help,”

 

“Oh yes! The more the merrier!” BDubs says cheerily.

 

>Mumbo

 

You: Yeah that’ll be fine.

 

Mumbo: Alright, they’re on their way!

 

“Okay, we have Tango coming, and whoever else is on building duty,”

 

Bdubs nodded, picking his shulker back up and moving them closer to the tree line. “Alright, wanna get ready?” She just nodded.

 

 

Turns out, outlines are hard . Everyone showed up relatively swiftly. Just Cleo and Tango were on layout duty, but BDubs, Grian (which was odd because usually he was off server right now, and for the next few days) and Stress.

 

They were all trying to agree on something or another. BDubs and Grian wanted some weird stage room, but Cleo and Stress disagreed. Tango was nowhere to be seen while he was trying to figure out if it would fit within the area. He had no opinion on it truly (he wanted it, but to keep the peace he said he didn’t care.)

 

“Fine! Message Mumbo about it.” Grian finally relented, and Cleo knew this was her win because no way in hell was Mumbo agreeing to something so stupid.

 

After asking Mumbo she looked back to Grian who had a smug look on his face.

 

“What?! He's going to say that your idea is dumb and-” Their communicator pinged.

 

Mumbo whispered to you unfortunately,  you should listen to grian, he knows who it is.

 

Cleo just stared slack-jawed at their communicator for a bit before glaring at Grian.

 

“Whatever, you win but-” They froze, Grian knew which meant he could tell them.

 

“GRIAN WHO IS IT?!” Cleo exclaimed, Grian seemed to wince.

 

“What’d he say?!” Stress asked.

 

“Unfortunately you should listen to Grian, he knows who it is. ” She emphasises the last bit.

 

BDubs immediately turned to Grian, “You- Who is it?!” He exclaimed, grabbing Grian by the shoulders and shaking him lightly. 

 

“Stop shaking me!!” He cried, flying up from the spot he was sitting on.

 

“Tell us who it is!”

 

“NO!”

 

Cleo decided to guess.

 

“Cub?” 

 

“Why would I know anything about Cub, Cleo.” He deadpanned,

 

“Zedaph?” 

 

“If anything I would think he would be married to ZITs.” He looked over to Tango, who was walking over from where he was running over because of the screaming.

 

“What’s wrong?!”

 

“This absolute-” Stress placed a hand on Cleo's shoulder “... Brat, KNOWS WHOS ANNIVERSARY IT IS!” Cleo pointed to Grian, who was flying just out of reach of the angry BDubs.

 

“Wait what?! Dude, who is it?” Tango immediately asked.

 

“I’m. Not. Telling!” He exclaimed.

 

“Is it… Pearl?” Cleo tried.

 

Grian paused at that before laughing, “No- No sorry-” He started laughing.

 

“IT IS PEARL!” Tango called before Grian waved his hands around in front of him.

 

“No, it’s not sadly, I just was debating on if I should say it is or not because her showing up and the attention being on her would be hilarious,” He says, still very slightly laughing.

 

“Ren?” Stress asked.

 

Grian just shook his head no.

 

“Xisuma?” Tried BDubs.

 

“That would be beautiful, but no,”

 

“Uh… Is it Mumbo?” Tango asked. Everyone glared at him.

 

“What?!” He cried out.

 

“I love that man, but he wouldn’t be able to hide it for this long,” Grian said easily.

 

Tango shrugged, “Worth a shot,”

 

“Keralis?” Cleo blurted.

 

“I’m pretty sure he and Xisuma are dating,” BDubs piped up, Grian nodded.

 

“Same, but not married.”

 

BDubs sighed. “Just tell us!” 

 

“No. I’m never actually going to say who it is.”

 

“You’re acting like it’s your anniversary, come ON dude!” Tango said, not noticing how for a split second Grian paused.

 

“Why would I be married?” He easily recovered and shot back, playfully.

 

“Good point, who would marry you,” Cleo teased.

 

“Speaking of which, why are you even here right now?” BDubs asked.

 

“Rude-” Grian deflated a little.

 

“I mean like, you’re usually off-server at this time! That’s all I meant!” BDubs spoke up, trying to fix his error.

 

“Oh, yeah. I thought this was more important,” Grian shrugged, back to his normal spirits, no longer thinking that his friends didn’t want him there.

 

“Well, either way, what did we decide about the stage room?” Tango spoke up.

 

 

Gem loved interior design, it was something she was good at! So she’s pretty glad she was one of the people put on that duty for this age-old anniversary. It was a little difficult though, not knowing what the people liked or what they didn’t. She didn’t know if they wanted a theme or not. 

 

But, Mumbo was on the opposite side of the room, trying to work with some minor redstone to give them cool lights or something. He seemed really into this, so maybe he knew. 

 

“Hey, Mumbo?” Gem called, causing Mumbo to jump about a foot in the air before calling back.

 

“Sorry Gem, what is it?”



“Do you know who this anniversary is for?” She knew that he did because he was the one who called the server together to do this.

 

He stuttered for a moment before asking “Why?”

 

“Everyone is just so interested, I am too! I’m also not sure what they would want…”



While still anxious, he pauses for a moment before, easily saying, “They’ll want Lilacs and Poppies. A lot of nature. Maybe some fishing stuff,”

 

Gem paused at that. Nature, Lilacs and Poppies. Okay, she’s got this then! The fishing stuff might be a bit harder, but that won't be too difficult!


“You might want to call in Pearl for the nature department as well then!” She said happily before rifling through her shulker, trying to find some leaves and flowers.



“Yeah, she’s supposed to come by later, but I bet I could ask her to come in now so you two could help each other?” He offered.

 

“If it isn’t much trouble?” She said, smiling as she thought of the prospect of hanging out with Pearl and the fact she found 24 lilacs in her shulker.

 

Gem could hear Mumbo typing away at his communicator as she threw leaves around. Nature , who does that remind her of? Pearl, clearly. But she wasn’t dating anyone, she really would have told Gem. BDubs maybe? No, because that man would be flaunting it for all the world to see. The only other person she could think of was Scar, and that didn’t seem likely at all because that man was way too busy crushing on Grian to be married. 

 

So who was it?

 

“Pearl’s on her way,” Mumbo said, before turning around and going back to mess with whatever he was working on.

 

Maybe Pearl knows?

 

Gem quickly pulled out her communicator and began messaging Pearl.



GeminiTay whispered to Pearlescentmoon hey pearlie?

Pearlescentmoon whispered to you im omw :D

Gem smiled at the fact that’s what she thought she meant, but continued to type, now in Pearls contact.

 

>Pearlie<3

You: I was wondering if u knew who was getting married
You: ?

Pearlie<3: >:)

 

You: YOU DO!

You: WHO IS IT?!

 

Gem waited about a few minutes before typing again

 

You: You’re evil cmon!

You: Who si it?

You: is*

 

She never got an answer, so she went back to placing down grass in the nice room. She was currently decorating some weird stage area. It was rather open and had a stage at the front. She planted flowers in the grass before she heard the door open.

 

“PEARL!” She called, rushing to her.

 

“GEM!” She called back just as excited, raising her arms for the hug Gem was about to attack her with.

 

“You’re evil! Who is it?!” She called, wrapping herself around Pearl as she asked.

 

“I can’t tell, Gem! I’m sorry!” They were still pretty much yelling at each other.

 

“C’mon Pearlie!! Tell meeeeee!” Gem pleaded, she just wanted to know . She wouldn’t tell anyone. She shook Pearl by the shoulders from where she clung to her.

 

“Their anniversary is in like, 2 days! You’ll know then!” She called, before brushing over by dropping Gem on the ground. “Now, I heard you needed plant help?!”

 

– 

 

Scar was working on exterior design, terraforming, and whatever else with Impulse. He knew later that False and Iskall were going to come by and do the finishing touches to everything. (He also knew BDubs was also going to do some more detailing.)

 

“Hey, Scar!” Impulse walked over, just having gotten there.

 

“Why Hello There!” He offered a smile from where we were working on a cool tree.

 

“First of all, that’s a wonderful Tree Scar! Second off, do you know who it is?”

 

“Thank you!” He smiled, trying to understand what question Impulse was asking. His anniversary was tomorrow, and he was so excited. He and Grian weren’t allowed to see the inside till then.

 

“What do you mean though?” He could just ask instead!

 

“Who’s anniversary it is?” Impulse asked innocently, but that was bad for Scar. He can’t say no , that’s lying and that would hurt . This is terrible .

 

“Uh, why?” That works. That works .

 

“Just curious!”

 

There was a pause, he wanted an answer .

 

“Uh well-” 

 

“You do know! Don’t you?!” 

 

“No-” The stinging in his mouth immediately made him want to take it back, it was like he ate the hottest hot sauce, bit his tongue, and then ingested mercury.

 

“OW-” And Scar went tumbling to the ground, hitting the grass with a loud thud.

 

“Oh- Are you okay Scar?!” Impulse rushed over, bending down beside Scar. He was laughing a little bit but seemed more concerned.

 

“I’ll be fine-” He sucked in a sharp breath as the stinging lingered a little longer.

 

Impulse helped Scar sit up before asking again.

 

“So, maybe bad timing, but do you know who it is?”

 

Scar shook his head no.

 

“Sorry, that was a bad time, do you need any bandages or something?”

 

“No, I’ll be alright!” He said with a smile, already standing up again to start working on his tree again.

 

 

Joel was stuck with Etho for his section of Grian and Scar's anniversary. He didn’t truly mind but he was going to pretend he did.

 

 They were both in charge of off-server invitations, as they both also were at Grian and Scar's wedding, and knew who would like to come.

 

“I don’t know why I’m here,” Etho said, earnestly even if slightly monotone.

 

“I thought you knew Grian in high school?” Joel accused, finishing off Timmy's invitation.

 

“Yeah, both of them actually. Neither of them would want anyone from there here though,”

 

Nobody ?” Joel emphasises, grabbing another paper to start Martyn's letter.

 

“Wait, both ?” Joel asked again pausing his letter writing because he didn’t know they went to school together.

 

“Scar was in an exchange program. He was in our school for a month, and met Grian in passing.” Etho said, awkwardly staring at the available papers.

 

“O-kay, but still, Nobody , are you sure you aren’t making excuses Etho?!”

 

“Unless you want me to invite Grians dead ex-fiancee or his abuser, I really don’t know anyone…” Etho said easily, seeming to try and think of anyone else.

 

Joel was about to laugh before he processed that sentence.

 

What. ” He said, deadpanned.

 

“Maybe Ellen but that’s…” Etho trailed off, seeming to try and think if that would be smart.


“No, Etho, who? ” Joel asked, a little worried now. He never knew about any of this. Well, he knew about the whole dead fiancee named Taurtis thing, but that’s it.

 

“Taurtis was his fiancee, a week before their wedding he went missing- Did you not know that?” He seems genuinely confused but that isn’t what Joel was confused about .

 

“No, I knew that one, Etho-”

 

“Then what’s the problem?”



“Etho I meant the abuser part,”

 

Etho seems to pause, “Yeah, high school was wild,” He says easily before looking at the papers again and pulling out his communicator.

 

“You- Are you not going to elaborate on that you obsessed man?!” He exclaims, practically on the verge of mania.

 

Etho just shook his head before putting his communicator down, grabbing a piece of paper from the stack and writing the name “Ellen” on the top.

 

 

Everyone was at this anniversary. Joel’s wife, Lizzie, who both were there at the wedding was allowed to come. All of Grians siblings, (really that just meant inviting Jimmy and Martyn, as Pearl was already there.), and even some purple-haired person with a missing eye showed up. 

 

According to Pearl, a few people were missing, most of which were from EVO.  But nobody was worried really because there was a huge crowd.

 

Everyone was wearing slightly formal attire, aside from Etho who was wearing his usual outfit. Many people were wearing suits, and some wearing nice dresses ( Joel .)

 

Xisuma was personally more interested in the people who weren’t typically on Hermitcraft. He already knew all of the life series folks, the one he was more interested in talking to was the purple-haired person.

 

“Hello!” He said, walking up to them. They were wearing a nice blue-ish suit with a purple tie that matched their hair.

 

“Hello, Xisuma,” They said easily, their voice slightly… ethereal? Xisuma wasn’t sure how to explain it.

 

“Oh, I apologise then, but what’s your name?”

 

“Ellen, They/Them,” They said easily.

 

Xisuma reached out to shake their hand, and they did so as well.

 

“Welcome to Hermitcraft! Do you know whose anniversary this is?” He asked, still curious. He wasn’t sure himself.

 

They nodded, “I am not supposed to say who’s though,”.

 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that from all the others too!” He said with a chuckle.

 

Xisuma was a little confused, there were a few late people, but he wanted to try and talk to the two that had yet to show up, Scar and Grian. Apparently, they both might’ve known who they are, and Xisuma was curious!

 

“Oh, here they come.”

 

And a few seconds later the door opened to Scar and Grian, both dressed nicer than most people in the room. Scar was wearing a very well-made embroidered dress.  It had sunflowers and poppies along the whole thing and dragged on the ground. Its base was an off-white colour. It was short-sleeved and fitted nicely. Next to him stood Grian, who was wearing a similar outfit. It was also an off-white, lilac and poppy embroidered suit, that somehow didn’t clash with his red, white and blue wings.

 

Quickly people looked to the two, who had their arms intertwined, engrossed in a conversation as they entered the room.

 

“Excuse me,” Ellen said politely as they began walking over to the two. Most of the people in the room began conversations back up, but most of the guests flocked to the two.

 

It was them, wasn’t it?

 

 

Grian and Scar adored their anniversaries, it gave them an excuse to dress up all nice and go out. 

 

So when they realised it was their quincentenary, well, let them be when they wanted to go all out! They were getting ready for a long time, about 2 hours, Scar insisted on trying to do both of their makeup, and their outfits were fun to try and get on.

 

They showed up to their own anniversary party 20 minutes late, but it’s fine because that gave everyone else time to show up!

 

“No, I want to say it!” Grian bickered back. Scar was saying he wanted to be the one to say it, but he didn’t as he couldn’t directly say ‘I want to say it’, and had to beat around the bush.

 

Before Scar could make a rebuttal, someone showed up in front of them.

 

“Hello, you two,” And they both recognised that voice.

 

“ELLEN!” Grian exclaimed, letting go of Scar to throw his arms in the air. Ellen was always a joy to talk to in his opinion.

 

“Oh, hey!” Scar called from behind him, waving at them.

 

“How’s it been?” 

 

“Awesome! I love hermitcraft man! Have you talked to Etho yet?” Grian immediately replied.

 

“No, not yet,” They said with a smile, before looking over to Scar, who was now standing next to a very excited Grian.

 

“And you?”

 

“Great, honestly!” He said with a smile as well.

 

“Well, as much as I’d love to completely catch up, I should probably go scare the shit out of Etho,” They said with a borderline evil smile, which got laughs out of both Grian and Scar.

 

“I’d love to see that,” Scar said, “But we kind of have to go make an announcement, unfortunately,” Ellen nodded before walking away.

 

“Where’s Mumbo?” Grian looked over to Scar, who already had his communicator out and was typing.

 

“Over there,” He said, pointing diagonally across the room, near the stage.

 

Grian put his arm through Scars as they walked over to Mumbo, not getting dragged into another conversation just yet.

 

“Ready you two?” Mumbo said, looking more anxious than either of them.

 

“I think the real question is if you are, mate,” Grian said, looking worriedly at his friend.

 

“Yeah, I won’t be giving a speech for long, and that’s a nice thought,” He said, letting out a deep breath before taking a new one.

 

They all three nodded to each other before Mumbo stepped up onto the stage.


“Hello, Hermits and… other people!” He said, getting a laugh out of a few people.

 

“As we all know, this is for two of our hermit's lovely 500th anniversary!”



“WHO IS IT?!” Someone (it was 100% Gem) called out from the crowd.

 

“Well, they’re about to give their own speech so, scream at them not me!” He said while scurrying off stage.

 

Grian and Scar looked at each other before they silently decided Grian would speak first. As he stepped up to the microphone there were many scandalized gasps.

 

“YOU-” BDubs screamed over the crowd, getting a hand thrown over his mouth by Etho.

 

“Yeah, me, Hi!” He smiled, not bothered by the attention.

 

He heard one loud whisper through the crowd, that got his attention though.

 

“Poor Scar…” He couldn’t tell who it was, but he did understand their worry. Everyone thought Scar was hopelessly crushing on him.

 

“Well people, uh, yeah. GET OVER HERE.” He screamed to Scar, covering the mic so as to not kill someone's ears.

 

As Scar walked on stage multiple people straight up screamed . So loud, in fact, Grian looked over his shoulder to see if Scar had been like, shot or something. 

 

Scar was fine, and walked over to hold Grians hand next to the mic.

 

“Uh, hi!” Scar said, both at a lack of words.

 

The first thing both of them heard was the scandalised cries of BDubs, who was now also next to Cleo.

 

“AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!” He screamed, and Cleo followed after.

 

“SCAR YOU ABSOLUTE-” Grian could hear her swear from here, even if her mouth was also covered by Etho.

 

“But yeah! We appreciate all of you for being there for us for so long, good job to Pearl for I assume winning the underground betting ring?-” Grian heard someone that sounded like XB say something like “That’s Cheating!” before Scar started speaking again “And for all of you for showing up and helping us.”

 

Grian nodded, and there were a few cheers as they walked off stage. Immediately Grian heard Etho scream in fear (he knew that was Ellen’s fault,) and turned to see Scar already getting scolded by BDubs and Cleo.

 

He wouldn’t trade this for the world.

Notes:

HI WELCOMEEE TO THE END!!
This is one of the many times I will be using this exact scenario because I love reading different "What if the hermits found out this way that they were married?" fanfics. They roam my head so often that I've actually written 2...

EITHER WAY!

The box mumbo has, In the beginning, is a bunch of supplies to maybe start the process of making something for their anniversary.

I wrote this in a day, not even that. I still very heavily appreciate constructive criticism! (Though do be slightly gentle, I'm a bitch lol)
My beta reader was Grammarly and me screaming at each other. I hate you, "beta reader".

That's all I have for now! Have a wonderful day/night!