Chapter Text
The shrill ring of Entry of the Gladiators startled him awake, causing him to shriek and fall right out of bed. Groaning, he began blearily searching the nightstand for his phone, trying his best to ignore the aching pain in his right hip. It was too damn early for this sort of thing.
Eventually, one pale hand managed to find his phone, allowing him to see the Caller ID: Lilypad. He had half a mind to send her to voicemail now, but he really didn’t want his dick or head bitten off this early in the morning and she probably had some sort of news for him if the hour was anything to go by.
“Hello?”
“Four rings. Really?” Lily asked, amusement lacing every word of her soft tones. “I thought I had you trained better than that, Luci.”
Another groan. “Good morning to you too, Lilypad.”
She hummed in response, the sounds of a car zooming past her. Was she driving? Or was she being chauffeured? Well, it didn’t matter; Lily Edens was doing whatever Lily Edens wanted, as she always did. “You sound tired, dear. Partied too hard last night?”
“You know it! Two whole tubs of caramel apple surprise, a plate of nachos, and a couple of beers. Gotta make the most of my non-diet time, you know.”
Lily laughed. “I have some bad news for you, then. Well, good, bad, and amazing news. Which do you want to hear first?”
“Do I even need to answer that? You’re gonna tell me the bad news first no matter what.”
“Well, I’m sorry to say that you need to start dieting appropriately again starting today. I’ve managed to snatch a great audition for you that I think you’d be perfect for!”
“An audition?”
The excitement in Lily’s tone was palpable. “Have you heard of the upcoming Hazbin Hotel show? The one about Lucifer’s daughter opening a hotel to redeem sinners?”
He did remember vaguely hearing something about that. It was supposed to be some sort of dark-comedy musical. There was supposedly also something about how it had all started off as a webcomic of some sort, but Luci didn’t know much beyond that. Honestly, he didn’t pay much attention to stuff like this; his roles were those of action-packed thrillers like Operation Infeasible and Angry Axel , not any sort of musical or comedy.
“Uh… yeah? Isn’t that a musical comedy kind of thing?”
“Yes, yes, I know. Not your usual style, but listen: I think it’ll be good for you. You need to branch out more! You won’t stay young forever, and Hollywood would hardly want to drag your stinking corpse through an Operation Infeasible movie once you get too old,” Lily said. “Besides, that’s not the best part of this news! You’ll be trying out for the part of Lucifer Morningstar, and -“ her voice dropped ever so slightly, tense anticipation rising. “If you get the part, you’ll be acting with Alexandre Boudreaux !”
A pause.
“Who?”
Lily scoffed. “Luci, please tell me you’ve been keeping up with the news?” When Luci didn’t answer, she sighed. “He doesn't quite run in the same circles as you, but nowadays audiences really like the style of movies he stars in. They’re all on the metaphysical side with stuff like Interplanetary and Perception . He’s also shown his chops in very period-heavy pieces too like J. Robert . All in all, he is someone to keep an eye on and I think you and him would make an excellent pair for these roles!”
Luci blinked. He had definitely heard of those movies before, but had usually just sort of written them off as Oscar bait. His own movies were rarely ever nominated, and frankly he didn’t really care to have one anymore. He already got his time in the spotlight when he won the Kid’s Choice Award for Favorite Movie Actor, and who could honestly wish for more?
Still, this did sound like a logical choice for his career. And if there was one thing that he had learned through his courtship, marriage, and now professional best frenemy relationship with Lily, it was that she was always right. He just wished he hadn’t been so proud as to refuse to acknowledge that for so long.
“Okay, okay, I’ll take a look at the script,” he laughed. He could feel Lily’s smirk on the other side. “But no guarantees, okay? This isn’t exactly my comfort zone.”
“Lucas Michael Magne, I’ve seen you fight an entire church crowd in a single take without breaking a sweat or ruining your suit. If you can do that, you can handle a fun little musical,” Lily said. “I kept telling that Knightsmen director that you had an excellent singing voice, but no! I was told that it’s too campy even for Knightsmen .” She let out a very pretty sounding snort. “Too campy… when there were colorful exploding heads to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance !”
Lucifer grinned. “ Knightsmen was a great movie series.”
“And you’re about to join an even greater streaming show! Now, do me a favor and go prepare that script, hm? I've already picked out your outfit for that day and a song for you to sing. Oh, and make sure you give Alexandre Bourdeaux a Google before you meet him. I don’t want you to embarrass me.”
Luci sighed as he parked his car and put up the sunshade. For some reason, he had decided today was a good day to drive to his audition rather than use a chauffeur or any ride share. He could certainly afford it, of course; there was just something about the road beneath him and the sky above that relaxed him a bit before auditions. He had spent basically three days straight combing through the script over and over again, making sure he could perfectly capture what the casting directors were looking for. After all, this was going to be his first foray into dark-comedy and musicals so he needed to make sure he was giving it his all.
The part in question was more of a supporting role, but still an important one nonetheless. Lucifer Morningstar, somewhat absentee father to the protagonist and King of Hell. He was going to be simultaneously easy and tough to play. Luci was no stranger to the fearsome, kingly side demanded of him in this role, having done so many times in the past. What made him a bit nervous was the distinctly more goofy side - Lucifer Morningstar was portrayed as both kingly and a bit of a clown. Able to beat the main villain alone with only his fists but also so crippled with anxiety and self-doubt that he had a tendency to hide behind some strange little hobbies. It was an interesting role with some depth; no doubt, it would be very fun for him to play.
The scene he was to act out today would be between him and Boudreaux’s character, Alastor the Radio Demon. The script had given him a lot and yet also not much to work with in terms of the two characters and how they interacted with each other. From what he could tell, it was very much hate at first sight for the two. They were going to fight over Lucifer’s daughter, Charlie Morningstar, through song. The song would be interrupted by another demon, then there wouldn’t be much interaction at all throughout the rest of the season until the very end, when it would be revealed that Alastor had in fact not sacrificed his life much to the annoyance of the King of Hell. Overall, this part was a deceptively simple challenge - one that Luci was more than ready for.
For such a meteoric rise to stardom, Alexandre Boudreaux was surprisingly hard to get info on. Sure, Luci was able to dig up his (admittedly impressive) list of movies, a Wikipedia page, several fan sites, and a couple of video interviews, but most of those things said pretty much the same thing: Boudreaux, a New Orleans native, was the kind of actor you’d find in those artsy, multi-layered movies.
Those movies were the kind that confused you throughout the entire runtime, then made you leave the theater feeling that they had said something deep about life. Luci frankly never had the attention span for such things, but even he had to admit that the cinematography on all of those movies was amazing and the lead actor always carried the role with a gravitas and charisma found only once in a generation.
(Okay, so maybe he binged several of those movies last night. He was nervous, okay? It was normal for even seasoned ones like him to feel nervous about this kind of thing.)
Boudreaux’s social media was even more sparse. Everything, from his Instagram to his Twitter was completely bare. Even looking into his Likes on Twitter just gave Luci a blank screen. The only information Luci could ever find about the man on social media was speculation: who he was dating, if he even dated, if he was straight, gay, or something else completely, and whether or not he preferred his coffee with extra milk or extra sugar. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that Luci was about to meet the guy, he’d have thought Alexandre Boudreaux was some sort of collective hallucination.
He did watch the interviews, though. There were a surprising amount of them for someone who seemed to want to keep his face off of the internet in general. While the interviews did give Luci a good look at the man himself, there wasn’t much to go off in terms of insight. He was definitely a once-in-a-generation sort of person, with enough charisma to make anyone do anything he wanted. That famous smile of his was absolutely dazzling , and always seemed to draw the eye no matter what. There was one particular interview where Boudreaux had been asked about his love life and he had actually laughed . Like, really, really laughed. Throwing his head back, shoulders heaving sort of laugh.
All of this googling and movie watching gave Luci no idea whatsoever about what sort of person Bourdeaux was in terms of working with him. Oh sure, plenty of people said he was kind, affable, hard-working and blah, blah, blah but honestly, who really told truths like that in Tinseltown? Judging from his choice of movies alone, Luci could only imagine the amount of utterly droll pretentiousness that probably dripped from the guy. Long, boring think pieces were usually just Oscar bait, nothing more. So what if the guy was good looking and charismatic? So what if his resume was absolutely beastly in terms of his filmography? If he was the kind of guy Luci was imagining, a lot of their interactions would probably involve him looking down the bridge of his (nicely formed, ski-slope) nose and doing that hoity-toity thing where he curled his lip in disgust.
… Okay, just one more interview.
“So Alexandre-“
“Call me Al,” the actor said, flashing that lovely smile. He was dressed simply in a white button-up rolled up to the elbows and black slacks. A silver watch, black shoes, and black-rimmed glasses pulled off the rest of the look perfectly. “Alexandre is too formal for this kind of interview.”
“Al then! Well Al, our audience is just dying to know… have you found someone yet? You’re currently voted amongst one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors!”
A small laugh. “You aren’t the first to ask me that and I’m positive you won’t be the last.”
Audience laughter. Luci reclined his chair and held his phone up, staring at the other actor’s face. Despite his relaxed posture and kind smile, there seemed to be something else behind it. Something… buried. He wasn’t quite sure what.
“What do you look for in a woman, Al?” the interviewer asked. She was platinum blonde and despite her thin frame had still somehow managed to find a pink pantsuit that was two sizes too small. Large painted lips chewed gum as she spoke. “Maybe give some of us a hint so we might stand a chance at winning your heart?”
More audience laughter. Al dipped his head, handsome features colored a faint red. “Well, my mother always said that a good partner is a good listener. So that’s what I’d look for! That and a great sense of humor.”
God, this man wouldn’t have any issue finding a listener. His voice was pure gold . It was the sort of voice that was smooth as butter yet playful and strong. There was a hint of mischief, a bit of laughter, and a lot of smiles behind it. Luci often found himself envying such a voice; sure, he was no slouch either when it came to reading lines or bursting into song, but this voice was something completely different. No wonder Boudreaux had such a following; his voice and looks were just the perfect combination.
“You heard it here first, folks! Alexandre Boudreaux is looking for a good listener and some good humor in his women! Thank you so much for tuning in and we’ll see you-“
Luci closed his app, then his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. All thoughts of his nerves, Lily’s expectations, and the anticipation of meeting Boudreaux melted out of him like soda through a sieve. Or maybe water off a duck’s back. Either way, the important part was that he needed to empty his mind, lest he say something foolish during the audition and embarrass his poor, hard-working agent. After a few minutes of this, he opened his eyes again and got out of his car.
Show time.
The studio space he found himself in was actually rather nice for being in such a nondescript building. Luci was immediately greeted with a handshake, a water bottle, and a quiet request for an autograph. He granted that last one, of course, because he was nothing if not kind to his friends. The nearby intern even handed him a new script, this one without Lily’s purple pen scribbled all over it. Thus prepared, Luci then entered the audition room, where there were already people gathered.
Almost supernaturally, his eye was immediately drawn to the tall man standing at the center of the room. He had no idea how, but Alexandre Boudreaux was somehow even more attractive in real life than he was on film. Those statuesque features, that lanky yet well-muscled figure, that dark tan skin, that auburn hair, those clear deep brown eyes… Those were the kind of features that only popped out once in a blue moon. A pair of round sunglasses sat on the edge of his nose, which Boudreaux immediately folded up and hung on his dark red button-down. When their eyes met, Boudreaux’ smile widened, brightening up his entire face and somehow throwing those features into even better light. Damn, if only Luci could have achieved such effortless beauty. He’d probably have a much easier time keeping a relationship.
“Oh! My! Stars!” a soft, feminine voice squealed. Luci blinked when he finally noticed the woman standing next to Boudreaux. She was just as tall as Boudreaux and similarly slim, with lovely platinum gold locks and kind blue eyes. She moved with the sort of grace found only in the most talented of ballet dancers, smiling wide as she regarded the new addition to their group. “Lucas Magne in the flesh! I can’t believe it!”
Where were his manners? Luci grinned as he took her hand, noting her firm shake. “That’s what they call me, but I think I’d like to know what they call you.” He winked.
The woman placed her hand over her heart, giggling. “Oh, what a gentleman! This one could give you a run for your money, Al.” She cleared her throat. “Rosie Dolly. Pleasure to meet you! I’m Al’s agent. Normally I don’t come to these things, but when I heard that you were offered the audition, I just had to come meet you!”
“Well, I’m glad we met, Ms. Dolly,” Luci said.
“Rosie is just fine. My goodness, can I just say that I loved you in Angry Axel ? That was an amazing performance,” she now looked over her shoulder to where Boudreaux stood, watching them with a small smile. “Al! Stop smiling like a creeper. Get over here and introduce yourself, why don’t you?”
The statuesque actor finally moved. Luci blinked when he realized just how tall the other was. He was so tall Luci actually only came up to his chest. Not for the first time, Luci’s insides squeezed just a little bit. He had always been on the short side for Hollywood actors, and no amount of action star roles could quite hide that. He couldn’t even count anymore how many times he had been made to wear platform shoes or have his height adjusted in post.
“Pleasure to be meeting you, Lucas,” Boudreaux said. He held out a hand, which Luci took. Oh . His grasp was actually quite warm and soft, but also lightly callused. He had heard that Boudreaux had come a bit later in life to the Hollywood scene, unlike Luci who had essentially been born to play around on the big screen. “I have to say, I didn’t imagine the star of Operation Infeasible would want something with this much depth in his repertoire. Seems a bit… unusual.”
The word made something in Luci bristle just a bit. Boudreaux definitely thought he was just some big dumb jock. “I’m full of surprises. Luci’s fine. That’s what everyone calls me. It’s good to meet you, Alexandre.” He paused. “Gotta say, I watched Perception the other day. Good think piece. Really… long. With lots of metaphysical stuff. This kind of thing is a bit out of your depth too, isn’t it?”
One of the other man’s eyes twitched, but his smile never faltered. “Al, please. Alexandre’s my father’s name.” He tilted his head just a tad. “Every- well, sorry, most of the best movies nowadays have a running theme behind them. Beyond frivolous explosions and gun fights, that is. I just found much of the same with this show.”
Oh, he was going to punch this guy in the face before auditions were done if things kept going this way.
“There are plenty of ways to keep things exciting beyond whatever you consider ‘frivolous’. To be honest, sometimes I wonder if the super vague metaphorical movies could use a bit more humor or something to keep me awake. Or I don’t know, maybe some more lively music. Kinda like Broadway style instead of… hymns or whatever gets stuck in.”
Al raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of Broadway, I’ve heard this show is leaning pretty heavily into that for musical inspiration.” He paused. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing in any of your movies.”
There was not a flush on Luci’s face. Not at all. “Like I said earlier. I’m… full of surprises.” Well now he really couldn’t fuck up this singing part. Both Lily and his own ego would kill him.
“Well, now that introductions are out of the way, we should probably get started on the audition,” one of the casting directors said. Oh right, there were other people here. Luci dropped the other man’s hand (wait, how long had he been holding it?).
“Alright, let’s hear you sing, Magne!”
Luci cleared his throat and walked over to the slate. They had already set up a camera to record him. Fuck . He’d never sung in front of a camera before. He was more of a belt out random lyrics in the shower or while making pancakes sort of guy. The one time he did try to serenade in public, Lily had laughed so hard she started crying, then admonished him for making her ruin her makeup. God, why did he agree to this? He should’ve just sent his ex to voicemail. What kind of person even called that early to talk about an audition? Maybe he could just walk out now. Yeah, just walk out and forget all about being in a musical. No one needed to know that he could sing, right?
A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, if only for a second. Al had taken up position against a nearby wall, crossing his arms and leaning against it. The look on his face was extremely unimpressed. Now that was the look from Luci’s imagination: stoic, a little too self-confident, and maybe even with a touch of haughtiness. As much as the other man liked to hide his thoughts, Luci was for some reason able to basically read his face perfectly - he strongly doubted that the star of Operation Infeasible could do this.
Well, Luci was never one to back down from a challenge, even if it meant making an idiot of himself in front of some overgrown drama kid.
“I’m Lucas Magne. Today, I’m auditioning for the part of King Lucifer Morningstar,” then, he cleared his throat.
“Believe me I know, I’ve sunk pretty low
But whatever I’ve done, you deserve.
I’m the bad guy, that’s fine
It’s no fault of mine and some justice at last will be served!”
The room went quiet as soon as those words left his mouth. The casting director’s eyes were the size of saucers. Rosie had both hands placed over her mouth. Al remained completely impassive, dark eyes simply watching the shorter actor as he entered the chorus.
“Now it’s time to step up or it’s time to back down
And there’s only one answer for me!”
His voice crescendoed smoothly, slowly climbing the musical staff as he allowed tiny notes of desperation to leak in. Al’s face was actually starting to move a bit now. His eyebrows were slowly raising towards his hairline. His lips parted just so. Was he actually impressed ? Smug satisfaction shot through Luci as he finished his song.
“And I’ll stand up and fight ‘cause I know that I’m right
And I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready!
Ready as I’ll ever be!”
He reached the peak of his octave and held it, unable to help himself as he cast a glance over at the other actor. Oh yeah, definitely surprised and impressed. Maybe even enough to throw off the whole cool and aloof thing he was trying to put on.
“Cut!” the casting director said. She smiled and nodded. “ Wow ! Edens wasn’t lying when she said you have a good set of pipes on you. I think we’re ready to move on to spoken lines! Go ahead and do it whenever you’re both ready.”
It was at this moment that Luci looked up at the other man, fully expecting him to start some sort of weird theater kid exercise to warm up his voice or whatever. Or maybe make some kind of scathing remark about how Luci’s sneaker was two shades too dark for him to concentrate properly. But despite his absolutely lively imagination, no such comment came. Instead, Al’s face just… transformed. His smile widened to the point where it seemed to rip past both edges of his face, creating the air of an extremely creepy haunted doll. His entire demeanor changed as well, going from a bit cold and aloof to… scary . Maniacal , in a sense. It was as though the affable, artsy Alexandre Boudreaux had been replaced with an Eldritch being, the sort found only in the deepest depths of the underworld.
Luci cleared his throat, slipping easily into the mind of Hell’s demonic king. “Oh! What in the unholy Hell is that!?” He made sure to add a high amount of tension to his voice as well as his demeanor, straightening his back until it was absolutely ramrod and pointing at a random spot in abject horror. From what he read, the King of Hell was a depressed and anxious recluse who fully believed that his daughter had wanted nothing to do with him for seven years. He had to play up this dark isolation pouring out through a forced joking demeanor. After all, he was trying to seem cool and affable to his daughter after seven years of never saying a word to her.
“Just some of the renovations we had done,” Al said. Was that a Transatlantic accent? “Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?”
Something about that line sent a shot of irritation pulsing through him. He wasn’t quite sure what caused it; between Alastor’s smug grin, his condescending tone, and the flash of superiority in his eye, any of those things could piss him right the fuck off. Lucifer shot the Overlord a withering glare. “And you are?”
“Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting your, sir. Quite a pleasure. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”
The sarcasm dripping from the other man’s voice was palpable. Lucifer raised one imperial and annoyed eyebrow. It would feel so good to punch that smug smile off that face. But for now, he had to behave for the sake of his daughter and her dreams.
But he really wanted to smite this asshole.
“Who is this? Who is this nut? Are you the bellhop?”
The demon in front of him let out a laugh. “No! I am the host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.”
Lucifer put absolutely zero effort into thinking about said broadcast. Mostly because he just wanted to piss this guy off. “Hmm, nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel!” And of course, because he is the King of Hell and the most hilarious creature in the universe, he made sure to add the most condescending laugh he could manage.
Of course that bastard somehow managed to make his own laugh even more condescending. “Ha ha ha. It was actually my idea.” Wait a minute. Was he actually bending over to be eye level with the fallen angel? If Lucifer didn’t know any better, this crazy bastard might actually be making fun of his height-
“Ha ha ha. Well, it’s not very clever.” Never one to be cowed, Lucifer leaned in and sneered at the other man. Well how about that? They were nearly nose to nose now.
Don’t think about how close his face is. Don’t think about how close his face is. Don’t think about how close his face is-
“Ha ha! Fuck you .”
“Cut!” the casting director stood and walked around the table, hand held out to Luci. “Thank you so much for the audition, Luci! That was wonderful.” She looked over at Al, who had somehow managed to deflate himself from maniacal demon back to charming actor. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so worked up on the part! We still have a few people to go through, but you’ll hear back by next week, okay?”
Luci blinked as he came back to reality, having to remind himself that no, he didn’t want to kill the man before him for trying to become a father figure to his daughter. And that it was now inappropriate to have his face this close to a man he barely knew. A man who, shockingly, was not the prim and pretentious guy he had invented in his head on the way in. “Oh! Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks for letting me in here.” He turned now to Al. “You were… uh… great! I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone slip so easily into crazy mode!”
Al tilted his head. Uncertainty flickered behind those dark brown eyes. “Thanks… not so bad yourself, Morningstar.” And with that, he exited the room.
Rosie shook her head. “Don’t you mind him. He does this sort of thing all the time. For someone who’s advertised as Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, you’d think he’d have some sense of understanding that interacting with others is important.” She walked out after him. “Again, pleasure to be meeting you, Luci! Hope we’ll see each other soon!”
Luci certainly hoped so too.
The next week found Lily knocking at Luci’s door at the earliest goddamned hour possible. Luci barely had time to pull some pants on when she simply burst in, dropping a bag of Noah’s Bagels on the counter. She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow when Luci shuffled out of his room, shirtless and wearing only the bottoms to his duck footie pajamas. Hey, if his ex-wife was going to walk into his house uninvited at the goddamned witching hour bringing bagels like it somehow made things better, he was going to make himself comfortable.
“I have great news for you,” Lily said. She sipped on her Starbucks matcha mocha something something latte while Luci dug around for a chocolate chip bagel. “You got the part!”
“I didth?” the actor asked through a mouth full of doughy chocolate goodness. Damn, he forgot the cream cheese. Lily rolled her eyes as he stuck the rest of the bagel directly into the tub of cream cheese and coated it like a nacho. Hey, they weren’t married anymore; he could do whatever he wanted.
“Yes, darling. You did,” Lily trilled, clasping her hands together. “You’ll be working alongside the Alexandre Boudreaux! Not to mention, they got other big names too! Harrison Washington and Anthony Dupuis both signed on. Official scripts should be coming out once they finalize who they want to play your daughter.”
Luci dug out another chocolate chip bagel. “That does sound like great news, Lils! Thanks a ton for finding the audition. I owe you one.”
“You owe me like forty, Luci,” Lily said. “Anyways, the two of you are going to start doing interviews soon, so best be prepared for that.”
“When’s the first interview scheduled for?”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you? Today!”
What the fuck ?
It took about ten minutes of pure panic and six minutes of actual getting his act together before Luci was deemed presentable enough by his long-suffering agent to go in for the interview. She was even nice to him today and allowed him to wear stone-washed jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a black hoodie over it. It was a pretty simple promotional interview for one of those entertainment news stations. Al was already sitting there when Luci arrived, dressed today in very stylish looking khakis and a plain white shirt. A long red coat was draped almost casually over his shoulders. Today’s watch was silver and black. A pair of dark aviator specs hung from his shirt collar.
“Morning, Al,” Luci said as he sat down next to the man who would now play the Radio Demon.
“Morning, Star,” Al responded shortly before suddenly freezing and looking away. Huh. That was kind of weird. Before Lucifer could dwell too much on this interaction, the host arrived and Al immediately turned on the charm again, smile bright and inviting.
“Welcome, welcome to Entertainment Daily! I’m your host, Katherine Killian! I’m here today to bring you the latest scoop on the much-anticipated upcoming Hazbin Hotel show. We’re very lucky to have two of the newly announced cast members here with us. Let’s give a warm welcome to Alexandre ‘Al’ Boudreaux, who will play Alastor the Radio Demon!” A loud applause met Al’s name, who smiled and waved to the audience. “And the alleged rival of the Radio Demon, King Lucifer Morningstar, will be played by none other than Lucas ‘Luci’ Magne!” More cheers met Luci’s name as he too gave a small wave to the crowd. The lights out there were too damn bright - he couldn’t see the audience beyond a mass of very vague blobs.
“So Al, Luci! Thank you both so much for coming today. I know it must be pretty exciting to be cast in such a highly anticipated show! Do you think you could tell us what it was like when you first found out?”
“It was certainly exciting,” Al said, smile never faltering. “I’ve been hanging around the artistic and deep circles for a long time, so this is something new and potentially challenging for me.”
“Yeah, same here with action movies,” Luci said. “This is sorta outta my comfort zone, but I think playing Lucifer will be a great experience. Lord knows I already play plenty of dads looking out for his daughter!”
“Yes, yes, speaking of which, this seems to be out of the norm for both of you! Do you think you can tell us what made you agree to play the part?”
“Well, Katie, I’ll be first to admit that the part was written with me in mind,” Al said. “I’m not quite sure what made them think that I’d do it, but they managed to get in touch with my agent and she loved it. After getting the script, I said might as well try something different. It might even be refreshing after J. Robert .”
Well that was certainly news for Luci. And it would seem like the rest of the world too. There were quite a few cheers erupting from the audience at this reveal. Al simply gave a small tilt of his head to acknowledge these cheers, then went back to sitting up straight. One long leg moved so it was crossed over the other, stretching the material of his pants.
Those socks perfectly matched his coat holy shit.
“Similar story with me, except for the part where the role was written with me in mind,” Luci said. “My agent just decided to wake me up at like 4 AM to tell me about the audition. She was really excited about me acting alongside Al here.”
“Well, it’s an honor to be working alongside you,” Al said with a small laugh. His posture seemed to relax just a little bit. “And an honor to have a part written with me in mind.”
“Speaking of honors, why don’t we dive into some juicy stuff, hm? For example… Al! You’re a bit of a latecomer to the Hollywood game, right? Sort of a stumbled your way in kind of guy after going through a different career?”
Al blinked, smile becoming just a bit more plastered. “Yes, you can certainly say that. I started out as a radio-”
“So you definitely grew up watching Luci’s movies, right?” Katie continued, flashing a too-white smile in their direction. “ The Boonies , Agent Children , Gator Guy and Magma Gal , all that stuff?”
Again, Al blinked. “Yes, I did.”
“So am I accurate if I say that in his child acting days, Luci was one of your inspirations to go try out for the silver screen?”
A rather pretty red flush was starting to creep up the other man’s neck. His posture once again went back to ramrod straight, long fingers toying with one of his shoe laces. “... You can certainly say his work has influenced many to take up acting.”
“So spill! What is it like meeting your childhood hero in the flesh!?”
The only way to describe Al at this moment was “deer in the headlights.” He sat perfectly still, one eye twitching lightly as he continued to toy with his shoelace. His eyes had widened so much they were nearly saucers. For just a split second, he seemed to freeze completely, quickly glancing between the host before him and Luci. Then, he found his voice.
“He’s… much shorter in real life.”
Well that was certainly one way to rub Luci the wrong way. Luci forced himself to smile through the audience laughter, the host’s cracked joke about everyone who has ever met Luci agreeing. There was probably some other cracked joke about platform heels or something like that. Luci didn’t really pay attention; he was too busy focusing on how his stomach clenched and churned at Al’s words.
“W-Well… I’ve heard that God just lets people grow until they’re perfect. So what does that say about you?”
He kept his tone light, teasing. Again, more audience laughter. Something unreadable flashed behind Al’s eyes. His smile deflated just a little bit. “Well, whatever you lack in stature clearly didn’t translate to acting talent. You make up for it with energy and personality.”
Oh. That was… actually really nice. And really weird. All of this was really weird. It made Luci feel really weird. He needed to say something before the weirdness translated into words and he started a PR nightmare that Lily would most definitely bite off his head for.
“Oh, uh, thanks. You’re really-
“Moving on!” Katie Killian said, still flashing way too white teeth. The rest of the interview proceeded without much incident. They were mostly run-of-the-mill stuff about their acting methods and how they intended on getting into the part. At one point, Al actually had to once again answer about his love life. Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, these media hawks were hungry. Having spent more than enough time at the top of the Most Eligible Bachelors list himself, Luci almost felt for the poor guy. Almost.
“And that’s a wrap! You’ve heard it here, folks! The Hazbin Hotel series is almost ready to start filming and they are starting out with a strong cast! Hollywood newcomer and artistic method actor Al will go up against America’s golden boy turned action star, Luci! Thanks for tuning in and we’ll see you next time!”
Going up against Al? What was that supposed to mean? Sure, their characters weren’t exactly friends, but they only really interacted in one episode and it was mostly just them squabbling over Lucifer’s kid. Sort of like an old married couple, really.
“Well, I can’t speak for you, but that was unpleasant,” Al said as he stood up. He was still smiling, but it was considerably less bright now. It was more like a normal smile now, if normal people actually smiled this damn much.
Luci snorted. “Same. Like dude, did you see her teeth? I think she was trying to blind us.”
“Blind us or eat us alive?” Al asked. They began walking out of the studio together, the taller man slipping his arms into his coat. “She was leering at you, Morningstar.” There was a strange note in his voice, a small tinge of irritation.
“Me? Heh, I haven’t been at the top of the eligible bachelors list in years.”
“That doesn’t make you any less attractive,” Al said quickly. Then, he coughed. “To unsavory types, that is. Best to watch your back. I’ve heard some fans can be unscrupulous .”
Oh right. Bordeaux wasn’t exactly the sort known to interact regularly with fans. If anything, he did the exact opposite; he was said to be abnormally good at avoiding interaction if he so chose, almost as though he were blessed with some ability to melt into the shadows of whatever building he was hiding in. It was the sort of superpower any celebrity would want.
“You know, if you actually do some controlled interaction stuff, it isn’t too bad,” Luci said. “Lily keeps a pretty tight hold on that kind of thing so I get pretty regular interaction without it getting weird. Maybe Rosie can do the same.”
Al groaned. “Is that really necessary? I’d rather be doing literally anything else.”
Luci shrugged. “Hey, it’s your career. No need for me to help or tank it.”
“Well, Rosie does say that-” a shrill ringtone cut the other actor off mid-sentence. Muttering to himself, he dug around in his coat pocket until he found… wait. Was that a flip phone? Luci watched in absolute disbelief as Al opened the phone and began talking to the person on the other line. The conversation lasted only a few minutes - mostly seemed to just be a business call between him and Rosie. When it was done, Al closed the phone and stuffed it back in his pocket, Luci staring at the spot where it disappeared.
Dear lord, this was hilarious.
“Was that a flip phone?” Luci asked.
Al shrugged. “It is. I don’t see much point behind upgrading. It does everything I need: texting and calls.”
The actor laughed. “Okay, sure. Minimalist guy, I get it. But like what about photos? Can it even do that?”
Confusion flickered over the other man’s face. “Photos? Why would I need it to receive photos?”
“So you can keep all your treasured memories on your phone and the cloud?” Luci suggested. Silence and a very confused stare met him in response. “Or take pictures of your food so you can finally start using your social media?”
Al tilted his head, smile just a touch too wide. “Food? Now that seems extremely frivolous. Why would I want anyone to know what I'm eating?”
“Just examples, Al,” Luci said. “But seriously, the memories part is the best thing about getting pics. Haven’t you ever wanted a copy of a picture that you can just carry with you everywhere? That’s kinda the beauty of a phone with an actual camera and storage. That way, you don’t have to carry any pictures in your wallet and any pics you or Rosie or whoever takes can get sent to you immediately instead of you having to wait for the film to develop.”
Al blinked. “... You bring up an interesting point.” Then, the tiniest bit of hesitation. “What sort of pictures would you send me if I got one of those?”
He shrugged. “Dunno. Probably selfies, to be honest. I’m more of a selfie guy than a food or group shot guy.”
“A selfie,” Al mused as he ran a hand through his hair. “Your treasured moments are selfies?”
“Proves that I was there. And a good way to make sure I’m not gaining or losing too much weight,” Luci said. “But anyways, I should get going. Gotta go make sure I accidentally didn’t cause some sort of PR nightmare for my agent during that interview.”
That seemed to shake Al out of his musings. “I should be going as well. Rosie and I need to go shopping.” Then, without saying another word, he turned on his heel and swiftly left the area.
Okay, that settled it. Al was one super weird guy.
Charlie Morningstar’s actress was announced one week later. Clara Montgomery, an as of yet completely unknown name, had been chosen for the role. The moment Luci met her, he liked her instantly; she was basically the human embodiment of sunshine. She had entered the room for her audition in a flurry of color and excitement, already bursting into song and dance. When the two of them sang Sunrise, Sunset together, she easily showed off both an incredible vocal range and a truly awe-inspiring emotional performance. She had made Luci and the casting director laugh, cry, and even jump for joy with her sheer skill. There was absolutely zero doubt in anyone’s mind that she was going to be offered the part by the time the audition was done.
Now that the rest of the cast had been assembled, it was time for everyone to come together to meet and take promotional pictures. Lily had once again picked out his outfit: red button-down with sleeves rolled above his elbows, black slim-fit jeans, and a white blazer draped over his shoulders. Honestly, he kind of felt like he was a walking punk valentine or something with this outfit on, but the costume designer’s vision for Lucifer apparently involved a lot of white and some red. Something to do with contrasting Charlie’s two father figures; Lucifer’s white and red angelic features versus Alastor’s red and black demonic aspects. Visual storytelling, as the more artistic members of the team liked to say.
He was fashionably late for the photo shoot, having spent most of the morning debating with Lily over whether or not he should put on some hipster glasses to complete the look. In the end, he had won out and his rather miffed agent drove him to the shoot. Still, he was thankfully not the only one late - the room was missing a distinctively tall, dark, and handsome actor.
“Dad!”
Luci whirled at the sound of the bell-like voice, laughing as Claire all but jumped into his arms. She was dressed quite nicely today in a ruffled white romper and red sweater. There were even matching red ribbons streaming from her platinum blonde hair. Overall, she looked every inch the energetic and optimistic young princess she was going to play.
“Claire!” Luci said, giving her a quick spin. She giggled as he let her down. “You look great!”
The young woman blushed prettily. “Not so bad yourself, Your Majesty!” she swept into a very dramatic curtsy, sticking out her tongue as she bent her knee. “What an honor to receive praise from the king himself!”
“I think the honor is mine, to be greeted by such a pretty princess,” Luci said, wincing just a little bit when Claire let out a high-pitched squeal in return. “The red and white looks great on you! Did you pick this yourself or did you have help?”
Claire grinned as she spun around, sending her ribbons flying. “ Mostly me. I wasn’t really sure what to wear since this is my first photoshoot and all, but then I called Vivi and we picked out our outfits together!” She cheerfully waved in the direction of the snack table. “It was so much fun . Do you think they’ll let us do this for all the promotional photoshoots? Or wait! Maybe they’ll let me have some says in what kind of outfits Charlie wears in the show? I can totally add some personal touches-”
Claire Montgomery really was a living ray of sunshine, wasn’t she? There was just something about the way she spoke and moved that gave him - and from what he could tell, everyone else- pause. As the least experienced member of the cast, there was just something strangely refreshing about how eager she was about everything. It was as though she had literal stars in her eyes at every turn, the joy and cheer of her breakout role not yet dimmed by the darker side of Hollywood. For her, the silver screen was still a calling, a sky full of stars. She was happy and excited to be here, and all of that was simply infectious for everyone around her.
Luci decided then and there that if any harm befell this girl or dimmed her light, he would personally smash the offender’s face directly on his Walk of Fame star.
A loud, excited squeal interrupted his thoughts. Claire was jumping up and down, her golden curls bouncing cheerfully as she looked in the direction of the door. Al entered the room, dressed simply in a black turtleneck and slacks. A long red trench coat was thrown over this ensemble. Today’s accessories were a pair of dark red wayfarers sitting on the bridge of his nose, a silver cross necklace, and a simple Cartier wristwatch with a dark red band. Overall, he… well. He wasn’t bad looking , that’s for sure.
Claire had already somehow bounded all the way across the room by the time Luci was done staring at the other actor. Now she was chattering away with Al, as though they were old friends. Luci’s stomach twisted somewhat as he watched them, something in his chest squeezing just a little bit when Al gave her one of the softest smiles he had ever seen on the other man. Well, the chattering away thing made sense - Claire had to do chemistry auditions with everyone since she was going to be the lead role. And considering how young she was, she probably was a big fan of Al’s. She did mention before that she liked the Oscar bait movies, after all.
He… felt strange. Like there was a pit in his stomach that only grew more and more as he continued to look at how Al and Claire interacted. At one point, she made Al laugh - truly laugh. The kind where he threw back his head and held onto his stomach. That twisting feeling in Luci’s stomach was very quickly traveling up his chest. It was as though an invisible hand had wrapped itself around his lungs and was squeezing them. Hard. And that smile that Al had given her earlier, the one that was softer than anything Luci had seen before? Yeah, that made things feel even worse.
Stupid. His head was being stupid. His chest too. All of him was being stupid.
Soon enough, the photography crew was herding them all like cats into various poses and backgrounds. Naturally, Claire was in the majority of these photos, being the lead and all. Every now and then, Vivienne would be dragged in too, as well as Anthony, Harrison, and young Natalie. Whenever Luci did find his way up there, it was normally as some background part of these group shots. His character’s personality hadn’t been revealed in the promotional material, after all, and the director had wanted to keep it that way.
And he definitely wasn’t staring at Al the whole time. No, definitely not paying attention to how he stood at a distance from most of the other actors but took their compliments with a grin whenever they approached him. His stomach was definitely not twisting and turning when Victor Volund actually slapped Al on the back after telling a joke, causing the other man to stumble somewhat, the wind clearly knocked out of him. No, he was just… people watching. And it just so happened that a lot of people were extremely excited to interact with the star of J. Robert .
“Okay! Adam, swap out with the Vees. Let’s get a few shots of our power trio!”
A heavy body collapsed right next to Luci, letting out a loud sigh. Luci smirked as he turned to the young man, who by now had pulled out his phone and was texting someone. “Tired already? Might need to buck up if you are. You’re the guy that’s gonna have to spend like 12 hours a day in a flying harness, aren’t you?”
The actor groaned. “Don’t remind me. Shit, I should never have said I’d do my own stunts. My balls are going to hate me for doing that to them.”
Luci laughed. “Oh, it won’t just be your balls. It’ll be everything: your legs, your pelvis, your back, even your feet. You won’t be able to walk properly for days after just a few hours in one.”
Another groan. “Alright, lesson learned. Next time, I’m telling them that I’m allergic to flying harnesses.” He tucked his phone away and held out his hand. “Ash Manning, by the way. Or Adam, whatever gets you more in character.”
“Luci Magne,” Luci said. “Lucifer. We have a fight scene together, right?”
Ash nodded. “In the finale. At least then we’ll both be wearing flying harnesses so you can suffer with me.”
“Yeah, but I’m actually used to them,” Luci said. “Plus, a lot of my stuff will be CGI anyway so it’s still less time than you.”
“Unfortunately for you, most of us stay on the ground for our fights,” Al appeared next to Luci now, seeming to teleport out of nowhere. Luci nearly fell off the couch in surprise. Did this guy have any idea how weird that was? “Though I would not be opposed to seeing the star of Operation Infeasible fighting more than just one single angel.”
“Maybe if I ask nicely enough, they’ll let us actually have a fight scene,” Luci said, just barely managing to recover in time. “I’m pretty sure Lucifer would love to punch that grin off your face.”
“Well, last I checked, Alastor’s supposed to be a distance fighter so if anything, my CGI might just get you first,” Al said cheerfully. “How much is that face worth nowadays anyways?”
“At least two chickens more than yours,” Luci said. “So I think it’s better for your face to get the punch. No value lost and we can probably make money off of selling it.”
“Hey, uh, Luci?” Ash said. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to punch the intern?”
Silence.
Luci felt himself stiffen immediately, quickly glancing back and forth between Al and Ash. Al’s smile was completely frozen in place, both eyes narrowing at the younger actor. If Luci didn’t know any better, he would think that the actor was about ready to rip the other apart. Ash, for his part, just looked rather confused at the sudden change in atmosphere… either that, or he still genuinely thought that Al was just some random intern Luci wanted to punch. One of those things.
“Erm… Ash? This is one of our co-stars, Al Boudreaux. He plays Alastor. You were literally just taking photos with him.”
Ash blinked. “Wait, seriously?” Another blink. “I… Sorry dude, I haven’t heard of you, like ever.”
“Oh, I’m not too big of a household name,” Al said, tilting his head slightly. Between that smile and that cold look in his eye, it made him just a touch too creepy. Like some sort of possessed doll. “Just a couple of small films under my belt.”
Ash’s brow furrowed as he seemed to think about it. “Small films… like… oh! So you’re like one of those small-time indie actors? That’s pretty cool I guess.”
Luci coughed. “Erm… he starred in J. Robert , Ash.”
More silence.
“Wait… you mean that one about the bombs? Oh dude, I was totally gonna go watch that but you know, The Barbara Movie came out on literally the same day and my girlfriend - you don’t know her by the way she’s in Canada - really wanted to go see it,” he paused. “Like no offense, but the trailer for your thing needed more explosions. Like, actual explosions and not explosions of pink and sparkle cuz then you’d just be copying the other one.”
By this time, Al had reverted to a normal-sized smile and normal-angled head tilt. “I see… well, thank you for the critique. I’ll send your thoughts over to the next producer-”
“Alright, great shot! Let’s get Lucifer and Alastor together, then we can break for the day.”
Well, at least he could finally go grab something to eat that wasn’t a bunch of carrot sticks and ranch soon. Luci waved goodbye to Ash before following Al over to the photographer. The first pose was simple enough. Al threw his coat back on and stood facing forward, that creepy ass Alastor smile plastered over his face as he turned his head towards Luci and tugged on one of the sleeves of his coat. Luci, on the other hand, faced the back and threw a cold smile over his shoulder, eyes half-lidded and mischievous. Then, they were asked to face each other and sneer. Again, simple enough.
The crew brought out a large throne next. Luci sat upon it and crossed his legs, resting his face on one hand. He sneered over at Al, who was bent over in a low bow, that wide smirk still lighting up his features. The Radio Demon held his staff in one hand behind his back, the other reaching out to offer a single red apple to the King of Hell. That pose got quite a few extra shutter clicks.
Their next pose was where things got… interesting. Luci was asked to yank Al down by the collar of his shirt and hold the pose, their faces so close they were nearly touching. A thick, palpable something hung in the air as he did this, the sweet scent of vanilla and whiskey dancing around his senses. There was something absolutely magnetic about that scent, and as Luci inhaled it, it just seemed to grow even sweeter with every passing second. It made him want to possess it somehow, bottle it up and keep it with him alongside the rest of his treasures. He took maybe a little too much time to unwind his fingers from Al’s sweater for the next pose. The other actor didn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, he could’ve sworn that he was grinning even more.
When they finally wrapped up for the day, Claire insisted that the entire cast take a selfie to celebrate their first day together. After a lot of jostling, Luci found himself once again surrounded by the sweet scent of vanilla and whiskey. Al stood next to him, leaning down a little just to fit into the frame. He leaned over the smaller actor, one elbow resting on Luci’s shoulder. One foot crossed behind the other. Something soft and light fluttered deep in his chest, his stomach once again twisting itself into little knots.
Ah shit. He blinked.