Chapter Text
Gordo was scared – terrified, even – to leave the base in his makeshift suit. He wasn’t expecting to survive, but he suited up anyway. He recalled the last time he had been on the moon, with Ed and Dani. He recalled losing his mind and trying to remove his helmet outside.
Now, he was willingly planning to go outside not only without his helmet, but without a proper suit at all. He and Tracy stood in the airlock. They were wrapped in multiple layers of duct tape, full face masks on top of their heads, ready to be pulled down.
But, this time, he hadn’t lost his mind. He wasn’t going crazy. He was thinking clearly. Thinking about the nuclear reactor that was quickly overheating. Thinking about all the lives that would be lost on the moon. Thinking about how uninhabitable the moon would be for centuries to come if the reactor melted down.
He had a choice. He knew he had a choice. He could try to find Commander Rossi or one of the others on the base. He could try to convince them to go outside in a duct tape suit to fix the reactor’s coolant system. He was sure he could find someone brave enough to do it. Brave enough to risk his or her life to save everyone else on the moon.
But he wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t the same person he had been when he was on the moon before. He wasn’t that weak-minded version of himself any longer. He would suck it up. He would act like a man. He would grow a pair and do what needed to be done.
But he wouldn’t do it alone.
Tracy was by his side, in her own duct tape suit. He didn’t want her to go with him. He didn’t think either of them could survive the trek outside, no matter how short it was. But he knew she was right. There was no way he could fix the entire coolant system on his own and return to the base before losing consciousness. With Tracy’s help, they stood a fighting chance of both of them surviving.
Gordo was making peace with the idea of dying. But Tracy was adamant that she wouldn’t tell their boys that there was a chance that their dad didn’t have to die. Tracy was going to help Gordo in order to give him his best chance at survival.
He loved her for that. She was the strongest, bravest person he had ever known, and he was glad to have her by his side in what might prove to be their final moments.
“You look fucking ridiculous,” Tracy said, looking him over.
Gordo smiled at her. “Take a look in the mirror.”
“Kidding me?” she said, grinning. “I make this suit sing.”
Gordo grinned and nodded. Then, his smile subsided. He looked at Tracy, thinking about their life together. Thinking about the decade they had lost. Longer, even, if he were being honest. He had lost her long before their divorce. Long before she had become an astronaut. He had lost her the moment he had stepped outside their marriage. Not just with the cheating but with the lying too. From the first time he had chosen not to be honest with her, he had lost her.
It was his only regret.
But they were there together again. They were standing side-by-side, about to save the moon and everyone on it. They were going to keep the space program alive. They were going to give hope to the future.
Despite everything he had done, despite everything that had happened between them, standing beside Tracy in that moment, Gordo felt content.
“I love you, Trace,” he said, eyes moistening with tears.
She looked at him, nodding slightly as she searched his eyes. “Yeah, I love you too, Gordo,” she whispered.
He nodded, his eyes burning with tears. Then, they both breathed deeply a few times. They exhaled all of the air out of their lungs and pulled their masks down. Gordo flipped the switch to depressurize the chamber. Then, they opened the airlock door and made a run for it.
They jumped off the platform onto the surface of the moon. They ran towards the coolant system. They had fifteen seconds. A quarter of a minute. But the heat of the sun and the pressure of the moon were already doing a number on the duct tape encasing both of them. Their makeshift suits were beginning to melt. Gordo felt the pressure of space closing in on him. His eyes ached, and he could feel his skin reacting to the temperature and pressure surrounding him.
He and Tracy made it to the coolant system, pulling open the doors. They fixed it together and ran back towards the airlock. Gordo felt like he was going to pass out. He fell to the surface, and Tracy helped him up. They kept going until she fell. Then, he helped her up. They made their way back up onto the platform and helped each other through the airlock.
***
Gordo reached up and flipped the switch to re-pressurize the chamber. His entire body hurt in a way he had never experienced before. He and Tracy sank to the floor, sitting back against the wall. They pulled off their masks, and Tracy leaned against him. He wrapped his right arm around her and took her hand with his left.
They both breathed. That was all they could do. Everything hurt. Everything else was too much effort.
But it was okay because they had done it. They had fixed the coolant system. The nuclear reactor was stabilizing. They had saved everyone else on the moon.
Gordo thought of the last time he had seen Ed and some of the last words his best friend had spoken to him.
I’m proud of you, man.
He didn’t believe he would ever see Ed again – or anyone else back on earth, for that matter – but he felt like he had finally done something to earn those words.
Gordo was in and out of consciousness when he heard the interior airlock door open. He didn’t know who was entering – if it was the Russians or his own crew. He couldn’t muster the strength to look up. Instead, he stared down at his duct tape-covered hand holding Tracy’s.
His eyes drifted closed and then open again. Three sets of legs approached quickly. Gordo and Tracy were being pulled apart as one of the men yelled for help. Two of them picked up Tracy and carried her out of the airlock. The other person waited until more help arrived. Then, three of them picked up Gordo and carried him out of the airlock as his eyes drifted closed.
When he re-opened them, he was on his back. The doctor was working on him. He couldn’t tell what she was doing, but he felt a chill wash over his body, wondering if she had removed his makeshift suit.
Tracy.
His eyes ached, and he wanted to close them again, but he forced them to stay open. He needed to find Tracy. He needed to know where she was.
He slowly turned his head to the left. It took a lot of effort, and it made his head, neck, and shoulders ache, but he pushed through the pain. He saw Tracy on a narrow bed beside him. Her duct tape suit and her shirt had been split down the middle and were hanging down from the side of the bed. Tracy lay motionless in just her bra up top. Someone was working to remove the duct tape from her lower half, and Gordo could feel that someone was doing the same to him.
Trace.
He tried to say it aloud, but no sound came out. With all the strength he could muster, he moved his arm out to the side. Tracy’s bed was close enough to his that he could rest his hand on it. He brushed her bare side with a knuckle.
There was a lot going on in the room. A lot of people working on both of them. A lot of poking and prodding and tending to their dying bodies.
But at the gentle touch Gordo gave her, Tracy opened her eyes. She slowly turned her head enough to look at him. Her face was bloody around her eyes and nose, and he wondered if he looked the same.
She slowly moved her hand and took his, holding it next to her on her bed. They continued to look at each other. Gordo stared into her blue eyes, feeling calm despite everything happening around them.
Gordo thought of his dad. He thought of those last moments, when his dad had been on his death bed, gasping for breath, eyes wide. He had looked terrified.
Gordo had been scared before going outside. But he wasn’t now. He was sure he was going to die – that he and Tracy both were – but he was no longer afraid.
He had gotten through his fear. He had returned to space. He was with Tracy, and they had done what they had needed to in order to save everyone else on the moon.
No, Gordo wasn’t afraid.
Gordo was at peace.