Chapter Text
(...)
(You.)
(You decide. to)
Another pang goes through your stomach.
As much as your family hates you now, they probably didn't eat all the food if they thought you were coming back. You can eat, reset, and then do what you need to. Although if you're going to reset, you don't actually need to eat, do you? You could just go stab yourself or slip on the banana or, oh, you could jump in the river, drowning would be new.
You think you've heard drowning takes a while, though. Ah, see, that's why you shouldn't kill yourself on an empty stomach, your ideas get even stupider. Just force a samosa down and then you'll have a better chance at holding your knife steady and making it quick.
You push the door wide open to three guilty expressions and one wary stare (Odile, of course). You smile wide, because it's fine! This loop is a lost cause. Nothing new there. Well, the reason it's a lost cause is new, but.
But you always knew they should hate you, didn't you?
"Any samosas left?"
Dinner was a quiet, somber affair, a plate set aside early on for Siffrin growing cool on the counter. You compliment Boniface on their cooking, because you know they tried and there...there should be something nice said, after how awful everyone's day has been, but the truth is your eating was mostly mechanical. You could hardly taste the food. A good part of it looks burned anyway; Boniface must have gotten distracted. Mirabelle had followed your lead in praising the cooking, but Boniface had just mumbled a dispirited "thanks" and continued pushing their own food around their plate. Then, they'd looked up sharply.
"Why's Frin being so stupid?"
Ah, the great question of the day. Boniface launched into talking again about how Siffrin had offered to train them only to let themselves nearly be hurt again, on purpose, supposedly just to make Boniface stronger. They've already told everyone about this once, but before they were so shaken that it was mostly incoherent, and you think they just need to get it out one more time.
Isabeau finally spoke up to reveal that after you had spoken earlier in the afternoon, Siffrin did get around to him as the emotional battering ram they seemed set to be today. Isabeau had tried to get them to open up; this you don't doubt in the slightest. Isabeau likes to see the best of everyone, and he cares a great deal for Siffrin. Of course he'd tried talking to Siffrin as a friend, and of course Siffrin went in for the emotional jugular. You had tried showing Siffrin concern as well, and they'd gone and thrown your mother in your face, which might have been devastating if you weren't too old to still be clinging to her.
"Please, listen to me," you say, because you understand why Boniface and Isabeau want to still believe in him. The five of you have traveled together for months. Of course it hurts that your friend is acting like this, deliberately hurting everyone. That's the part that hurts even for you. But you're experienced enough that this isn't the first time someone's hurt you like this. You know it won't be the last. You need to be the rational one right now. Defeating the King is more important than worrying over Siffrin's feelings. "I... I just... I just don't know if we can trust Siffrin anymore. Not at such an important moment."
And not just because he seems determined to upset everyone. The familytale was strange enough, but Siffrin could have learned about your desire to read one if he'd snooped on you when you inquired after one in other towns, distasteful as that is. For him to know about your mother... you haven't told a soul on your journey about her. You can't fathom how he could know in a way that doesn't involve insane levels of deception.
You can't trust him, even if the others were willing to put aside everything he's done. Which, while Isabeau and Boniface are arguing for it, they're still obviously hurt. Mirabelle already seems inclined to agree with you. Siffrin has...burnt bridges today. Broken the ties you needed to work with him in a team.
"But--"
"We'll be fighting the King tomorrow, Isabeau!!!" you snap, wishing he would just see reason, already. "It's not just a simple Sadness. It's the King. The being who has trapped Vaugarde in time. And we need to be a team. We need to be united, we need to trust one another." You take a breath to calm down. You hate that it makes you think of Siffrin. "After what just happened to all of us today... Could you do it, everyone? Could you entrust your life and future to someone like Siffrin right now?"
There's silence all around the table. Mirabelle is sad, yes, but she already seems resigned. You both know the truth here, uncomfortable as it is. Isabeau seems to be realizing it as well as he looks at both of you, his expression practically painted with grief. He'll be calmer about it in the morning, hopefully. It's not like Siffrin's died, they've just... become a person none of you recognize.
...You get why Isabeau feels awful. But you can all be sad about it after you defeat the King. Maybe Siffrin will even be willing to explain what in the world has possessed them by then.
Boniface is biting their lip, looking like they want to--gems, you almost hope they do yell at you over this if they're going to be emotional, you're not sure you can handle them crying again right now--when the door swings open so fast it bangs on the wall, the person of the hour beaming at you all.
You don't trust that smile. You know Siffrin sometimes has very poor awareness of how they appear to others, but that still doesn't explain why they've suddenly chosen to adopt a fixed, manic-seeming grin. Their smile before was fine. Everything about them since this afternoon has just been wrong, yet they seem giddily oblivious to it.
"Any samosas left?"
The question takes you off-guard in how casual it is. Everyone seems lost for a few seconds before Mirabelle defaults to helpfulness. "W, we made you a plate," she says, pointing to the counter, and Siffrin beelines to it. Instead of bringing the plate to the table and occupying the one free chair like a civilized person, they take the plate in one hand and use their right hand to push themselves up with a jump into sitting on the counter. It's a bit of an awkward maneuver as they falter midway, almost losing some of the food, but they manage to right themselves quickly, fold their legs under them, and then stuff part of a samosa in their mouth.
Their smile crumbles with disgust.
Boniface's fists slam down on the table as they stand from their chair. "You're NOT allowed to complain about my cooking. Not when you've been awful to everyone today!"
In a second, Siffrin's expression shuts off completely, the disgust wiped clean. His face looks almost blank. "Okay." He shrugs, and takes another bite of the samosa. "It's not bad. It's just cold, and I'm tired of samosas."
Those are fairly neutral comments, but you still feel irritation rising that Siffrin is choosing to just waltz in and complain that his dinner is cold like that isn't their own fault. Like Boniface should have known to make something different for him (that complaint doesn't even make sense, the group hasn't eaten samosas recently) when he upset them to the point of tears only hours ago. "Do you have anything else to say?" you prod, and no Expression in this world will help them if they don't catch that heavy hint.
Siffrin looks up from their dinner to stare at you, and you're struck by how empty that stare is. Like he isn't seeing you, but...you don't know what else he might be seeing. "Sure. For the record..." When he turns that same look onto Mirabelle, she stiffens, straightening up in her seat. "Of course I'd go with you to the House still, Mira."
The friendly nickname is undermined by how easily they make it clear they eavesdropped on earlier conversation. They know you were considering leaving them behind, and the coolness of their tone shows it. Mirabelle looks upset all over again, standing from her chair to face him fully. "S-siffrin, I, I'm sorry, but you, you're acting very strangely. You still haven't apologized for what you said to me or anyone, or even tried to explain yourself--"
"So you're all going to go to the King and get yourselves killed, because that's smart," Siffrin says, the awful smile making a reappearance. "Odile really outdid herself with tactics this time, huh!"
You scowl. "Are you really so arrogant to believe you'll contribute to the team acting like this?"
"It's not arrogance if I know it, right?" They scarf down the last of the samosa with a grimace, carelessly wiping their glove off on their cloak. "Don't worry," they say. "I do know I messed up. I shouldn't have tried rewriting so many lines. The way you're all looking at me right now, I think I'd let a rock fall on me instead of go through the whole House again!"
"'Again'?" Isabeau echoes. "Sif, are you...feeling okay? We haven't gone to the House yet."
"No, we have. There's a death corridor that drops rocks if you don't hit the switch. Pulverizes pretty good." Siffrin shrugs again. "We've already lost the script, so, we're in a time loop." You open your mouth, and he smiles at you. "You're going to say Time Craft would kill anyone trying to use it, right? But you said yourself the King has trapped Vaugarde in time. Obviously HE can use it."
...You close your mouth.
What Siffrin is saying is still insane, but...
(How did he know about the familytale? How did he know about your history, your mother?
Why did he look at you so expectantly when he took you to that clearing--like you were supposed to say something?)
"And I'm just an idiot trapped in a time loop forever," Siffrin continues, working themselves up into a rant. "I was going to try killing the King myself this time to see if it'd finally break, but it probably won't! It probably won't! But even if it did, this loop has been awful, so I'm just going to reset it now and I'll be nicer next time and hopefully. We aren't stuck together forever. Since you all hate me. If I can just kill the King and break the loop, we can all go our separate ways, and--" He breaks off, staring at you all with a queasy look on his face. "Mm, mm, haha. Samosa was a mistake. Looping time."
He launches himself off the counter and runs straight into Isabeau as the fighter pushes back from the table to catch him. "Sif," Isabeau says, deadly serious. "You need to sit down, and explain EVERYTHING about what you just said."
Siffrin looks up at him for all of two seconds.
And then they throw up.