Chapter Text
As soon as you see another orb missing, you knew why you hadn't seen or heard Boniface in the clocktower this morning. They must have realized you were considering leaving them in Dormont and gone ahead to the House. It was a near certainty. You still had to check in town just in case, and while you were finishing up there you had yet another split off from your party--Isabeau, telling you and Mirabelle to go ahead, that he wanted to check the Favor Tree just to make sure they weren't there. You supposed it was best to make sure, but--
It was aggravating. You wanted to keep Boniface away from the turmoil this has turned into. You'd always known dragging a preteen toward the center of the Curse was highly irresponsible, but Boniface had declared early on they'd follow you all no matter what, and the only thing more irresponsible than leading a preteen toward the center of the Curse would be daring the preteen to recklessly charge through the Curse alone. While they were with you, you could at least trust you and your--comrades, for lack of a better word (astounding, how many languages you've gained at least passing proficiency in over your travels, and you've yet to pinpoint the word that adequately describes your relationship with these people)--would do everything in your power to keep Boniface safe. Siffrin's already demonstrated they would.
Yet, Siffrin also already made Boniface cry yesterday. ...Boniface doesn't like to be thought of as a child, but they are. Children should be able to trust the adults protecting them. You don't want Siffrin or yourself to disappoint them, if there are further spats today.
Though, judging by the glare Boniface makes at your call, you already have. You huff. "So stubborn...!"
"Madame, we're going to have to let them come with us," Mirabelle says, glancing over her shoulder and past you with worry. "We don't have time to bring them back to town!"
"I know."
Mirabelle stops and turns on her heel, making you pull up short as she stands in your path. "Madame, um. We're all upset, but we don't have time to argue about this, so--I think I should talk to Bonnie and remind them that they need to listen to us in the House, at least. And you talk to Siffrin and see if there's anything in the House we need to be aware of? Things that could hurt Bonnie, or, well, anyone," she says, and then asks: "please?"
She doesn't want you and Boniface arguing. ...And you don't want that either, and of the two of you Mirabelle is better at coaxing Boniface when they're upset, so you nod. An inventory of the House's dangers would be helpful. "I'll ask him." You need to speak with them about conduct anyway.
You shift your attention to Siffrin and immediately grimace. That awful smile is pasted on again, so safe to say a night's rest did not make him any more inclined to emotional honesty. ...Assuming he even got a night's rest. He did say he hasn't been able to sleep in bed for a while, and he looks more haggard than yesterday, unless that's the harshness of the morning light. "Were you able to sleep at all?" you ask once you've drawn closer. It's a question about his well-being, not his feelings. Hopefully that's still allowed.
"Nope!" Siffrin says cheerily. "I studied the stars, Madame."
Mirabelle tilts her head at that response, but then she turns her focus back to Boniface. "Bonnie, can we talk?" The preteen harrumphs, but follows Mirabelle's gesturing to step away with her, and Mirabelle starts talking quietly.
Siffrin's right hand is squeezing their left forearm. ...They're expecting a poor reaction from you, aren't they? Under normal circumstances you would be annoyed about them skipping rest to simply look at the night dots. Especially the night before you are to fight the King.
But... "Well, if you absolutely can't sleep, doing something relaxing is the best alternative."
If Siffrin's repeated this day sixteen times, it's safe to say these are abnormal circumstances. You're... skeptical... if stargazing actually relaxed them, but if they truly can't sleep, it probably counts as one of the better choices Siffrin's made since yesterday afternoon. Something about how Siffrin answered seems off to you, but you can analyze it later. You've matters to discuss. "Before we head into the House, what dangers should we be aware of? You mentioned..." You fumble a second, and finish lamely, "...a rock trap that sounded quite dangerous."
You're not usually so bumbling with your Vaugardian, but you just recalled their exact phrasing: "pulverizes pretty good". Which made it sound as though someone had been... but Siffrin only shrugs with his right shoulder.
"It's only dangerous if you feel safe."
What. "Is that a riddle?"
"No, that's really how the trap works. Activates if you feel safe. Don't worry, I'll turn it off," Siffrin says, still with that false blitheness.
You do not like the nature of that trap at all. You're familiar with Craft sensitive to emotions, of course; the orb you first helped find had quite the obnoxious trial, forcing you to forge camaraderie with the two Saviors you'd volunteered to help much faster than you'd liked at the time. (It had been good for the three of you in the long run, but at one point in that tiresome day you'd started ranting in Ka Buan just so you could vent all your vexation without offending Mirabelle or Isabeau, who'd simply glanced aside with tolerance and apologetic guilt, as if they'd been the ones responsible for locking the orbs away.) There are benevolent uses for emotional Craft triggers as well, but a trap that targets feelings of security seems sinister to place in a House of Change when they serve as shelters and living space. "...Siffrin, if you need to talk--"
"We're already talking."
You would have to be deaf to miss the sharpened edge of his tone, and even then you can see how his hand tightens on his arm. You already told the others not to push him today. Heed your own advice, Odile. "...Right. What other dangers are there in the House?"
"There's another rock trap by the Head Housemaiden's office. And there are Tears... they look like floating water. They'll freeze you if you touch them. But Isabeau's the only one who's come close to touching them." Their eye sweeps the area before looking down.
You write the information into your notebook. "He is coming," you volunteer, because you don't want Siffrin making any false assumptions. "We weren't completely sure Boniface had gone to the House, and he wanted to check Dormont just in case."
"I'd never hurt Bonnie."
You look up. Siffrin's hat obscures most of their face, unfortunately--no, maybe it's fortunate. Whatever expression they're making is probably pitiful enough to cut even a diamond heart. "I'm not sure what Boniface told you--I'm not even sure what they heard--but I don't believe you would ever hurt Boniface deliberately, Siffrin."
"But you didn't want them coming with."
"I was hardly comfortable with them coming along in the first place," you point out, because that's perfectly true. "A time loop isn't something we planned for. ...And I also don't want them potentially witnessing us infighting. But here they are. So. I'm going to ask that you not repeat any of yesterday's... unpleasantness. If you don't want to talk beyond what we need to stay coordinated, fine. But let's not be rude to each other. Is there anything you need us to do? Or not do?"
"...I already told you? I need to be the one to kill the King."
Okay. Yes. You do remember that detail. It still seems strange that the Vaugardians' wish would somehow place Siffrin front and center rather than the Housemaiden everyone had been pinning their hopes on. "No, that's not what I mean. I..." Siffrin is rarely upfront about asking for things, unless it's a second helping. You'll have to be direct. Still, your throat clenches. "I believe I may have done something to offend you. Perhaps several things." It's a very easy conclusion to make, given the tantrum they threw at you yesterday. "I'm not going to apologize for something I've no memory of, but I can avoid repeating it if you tell me what it was."
And you do mean that. That you hope knowing might help you reconcile with Siffrin before you separate is...besides the point, and probably a fruitless wish anyway. How could you apologize with sincerity for something you don't remember doing? As far as you know, whatever you did was justified.
Siffrin is giving you a very strange look. "...I...don't think there's anything? You can just do what you'd normally do, and let me kill the King."
...Perhaps he's just sick of you, then. You can see how repeating the same day enough times would do that, and that would also suffice to explain their behavior yesterday. ...Though, you're hardly alone in this. He's sick of everyone, isn't he?
Stay professional. "If you're sure. I have a request, though."
"Yeah?"
"How did you learn of Wish Craft?"
Siffrin's eye stares at you for a long moment, but there's something unsteady in the gaze. "The King mentioned it once. And there are books in the House about it."
"So the King is using Wish Craft, not Time Craft," you surmise, and when Siffrin opens their mouth but looks unsure, you correct yourself: "Or...Wish Craft is how he's able to use Time Craft?" Their mouth closes, and they nod. Interesting. According to what Siffrin said last night, a country's fill of wishes was able to cause one of its saviors to loop in time, and while intent matters, the correct ritual is more important. That aligns with general Craft use in principle--it's hardly unknown for a child or untaught Craft user to be able to throw out enough of their innate Craft energy to some effect in high stress situations. It's also known the effect is likely to be very weak, and that's often better than if it were powerful. Even basic principles allow users to achieve far more effective results, more safely, with less energy. So it makes sense, then, that someone who knows the Craft would be able to achieve a similar power to a mass-powered but very ill-focused Craft--who in Vaugarde even knew they were fueling a Craft?? But if Wish Craft is so unfathomably powerful, you have to learn more of it. "I'd like to see those books to read them."
"There's only two. And you wouldn't be able to read them."
Not in Vaugardian, then--that answers the immediate question of why this Craft isn't more broadly known in at least Dormont, but also raises a new one. "But you can, if we were able to learn something from them?" The Vaugardians in your party all know some Poterian, though just a few simple words in Boniface's case, and Mirabelle has said she knows Mwudun, but if the books were in either language why would she have no knowledge of it? Surely with the King approaching Dormont, the Head Housemaiden would have tried getting help from any Housemaiden who might understand the texts about such a bizarre Craft. And Isabeau has said (and shown) he can hold basic conversation in Deykulic and Lichtlan, but from what he's said, it's only basic conversation--enough for a Defender to try comforting a distressed traveler who isn't fluent in Vaugardian until a translator is found.
So if Siffrin says you cannot read them, they would be the obvious candidate for reader as your fellow traveler. It doesn't even seem much of a question. And yet they flinch at your supposition, which--why are they nervous? Are they trying to hide something? NOW, of all times?
... They haven't been sleeping, they may not be thinking straight. You'll make the reason for your request as clear as possible. "Siffrin. Your theory of killing the King--it's worth testing. Really, you should try anything you can think of. But I don't understand why it would work."
They tremble when you say that before looking up at you, and you know:
At least some part of him knows this doesn't make sense either. That it's just a wild stab in the dark.
That part is fixed on you like a cornered animal, and where you'd normally press on the offensive, you hesitate. You need to get to the bottom of this time loop business. You also need Siffrin to stay calm if you're going to get out of it. "You've likely gathered insights over the loops that I'm missing. I'd like to go over the text and understand more thoroughly, especially with such an unusual Craft." You need to give them more theories to try in case this doesn't work, because it seems alarmingly too possible it won't. Even as Siffrin pastes on an unsteady smile, you know from that look they just gave you... they're not going to receive criticism of their theory well until you have other avenues to offer them. Perhaps not even then.
Sixteen loops... Then, about two weeks of fighting within the House? And you've been anticipating the House itself could be quite dangerous given the concentration of people frozen within to generate Sadnesses without even speaking of the King's presence. Your bones ache just at the notion of how grueling that would be. Of course Siffrin's desperate to escape and willing to try any idea, however unlikely.
And yet you've the nagging suspicion this is the first time they've told you about the time loop. Nothing about their explanation yesterday seemed very practiced, as you might expect if they'd already done it multiple times. There was only one part of that conversation that did seem practiced--the proof he provided that you'd told him yourself about your quest for a family tale. How many times did you tell them, willing to practice some emotional vulnerability because you'd finally found what you were searching for, that they were able to recite some of your deepest feelings like a soliloquy from a play? How many times did they let you repeat yourself, not telling you that things were repeating?
...You know in this loop. You've a greater problem to face. There's no point in agitating yourself over it.
But it just doesn't sit right. Especially with their eagerness to escape--
"GOOD MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING!!"
You jerk quite physically out of your thoughts, clutching at your sleeves to steady yourself. Siffrin jumps, too. Then both of you turn in sync to Isabeau as he comes up the path.
"There goes any element of surprise," you scold. You know he's trying to lighten the mood, but there are quieter ways to do so.
Isabeau is raising his hands in his usual sheepish apologetics when Siffrin cocks his head. "We never have the element of surprise, though? Rock traps."
"...Ah." That takes the edge off your annoyance, and you get back on business. "So even knowing about them, we can't stop them from falling?"
"They won't fall on us."
Well. That's an acceptable outcome, too. Foreknowledge of where the boulder falls would make a trap considerably less dangerous, so you don't question further. Instead you look over at the small "humph" Boniface gives as they and Mirabelle finish talking. Boniface's eyes flick to you for only a second before they turn their face away with an even bigger "HUMPH", and Mirabelle looks at you with her hands clutched, worry in her eyes.
You can guess. You were the one who said that Boniface should stay behind; even if Mirabelle and Isabeau agreed, it's not surprising if Boniface has singled you for blame. You wouldn't even mind being cast as the villain if they were actually safe.
"Bonbon..." Isabeau clearly wants to say something, but can't seem to find the right words, biting back a sigh before puffing back up. "Sorry if I held things up! Everyone got their orbs?"
You all do, of course, retrieving your orbs from your belongings. Siffrin hesitates just long enough for you to have the horrible notion they could have lost it, but then no, there it is, mid-toned against his dark gloves before it glows along with the one you're holding, all of them shining brilliant light and rising to insert themselves in the pits that are the smallest of the concentric circles in the gate's curving design. The gate itself flashes before retracting, allowing you a view into the darkened House.
Siffrin walks in without hesitation, and you all follow, falling into the order you're accustomed to--Mirabelle behind Siffrin, Isabeau middle, and you in front of Boniface.
Except then Siffrin stops, and Mirabelle pulls to the left so you and Isabeau can both come ahead and see--ah. of course you'd run into one almost immediately. "A Sadness, huh? The House must be crawling with them..." It's almost a certainty. To your left, Mirabelle's breath hitches and she clutches her hands, but then she draws her rapier, glaring at the Sadness.
The Sadness isn't approaching yet, despite its proximity. It might be a more docile one; however, the hallway is narrow enough that you'd rather just take it out now than try to sneak around it, almost certainly attract its attention, and get ambushed from behind. You ready your book.
There's a strange lull. Siffrin isn't attacking, despite being the fastest. Is something wrong? They claimed their body reset perfectly with each loop, but--
"Oh my, should we go over strategy again~?"
What.
"What," you hear Madame Odile say very flatly.
You look at the back of Siffrin's head, confused. He said that like he was teasing someone, but... who?
"Do...we need to go over strategy again?" Isabeau asks, and you're glad to hear your confusion echoed in his tone. "Have we been doing something different in the loops?"
"DO I GET TO FIGHT?" Bonnie asks.
"NO," you yelp, and you hear Odile's much calmer, firm echo of "no" under Isabeau's also panicked one.
Siffrin turns their back on the Sadness to look at you, frowning at your rapier before looking up at your face. "...You...don't want to go over strategy?"
"No??? Why would I??"
He seems at a genuine loss for a moment. "Usually...you're nervous?"
Well!! You are nervous, actually!! You're not feeling great to be back in the House with it all frozen!! Knowing that you're only hours from fighting the King, which you were so afraid would end with you getting yourself and your friends killed, and you're still afraid of that but now you also know that even when you win it doesn't even last a day and then Siffrin goes back in time!
And there have been times when you didn't win because you hadn't figured out how to cast a shield, and everyone would have died, except Siffrin died first and looped back.
Of course you're nervous, but you can't let your friends down this time?? And it burns to realize Siffrin's teasing was meant for you, that you must have given in to the anxiety you can feel spiking in your chest so many times they were expecting you to do it again.
"You don't need to make fun of me!! Let's just fight it and move on!"
"Eyes forward, everyone!" Isabeau calls out.
The Sadness is coming closer! You ready your stance again, and Siffrin whirls about to face it, but instead of taking his dagger in hand he raises his voice, louder than you've ever heard him speak:
"Do you blinding mind?"
The Sadness shrinks back instantly, from Siffrin's request or tone or rigid stance, you don't know, but you know, you most certainly know it's more scared of Siffrin than you as it shrinks away, turning and fleeing to hide in a corner of the hall's far end. Siffrin turns back to you, their entire face a smile that's forced their eye closed.
"Um," you say, intelligently.
"Um???" Isabeau echoes.
"Wh--how'd you do THAT?" Bonnie asks, coming up from the rear to stare at the frightened Sadness.
Madame Odile doesn't say anything, her expression grim as her eyes flick from the Sadness to Siffrin. His smile fades before dropping entirely, his eye unslitting to scan your expressions.
They--scowl? Then-- They turn away. "Fine. We won't do a review to loosen up. Let's just move on." They start stalking away down the long hall.
Bonnie immediately chases after him, with the rest of you quickly following. Madame Odile directs Bonnie to get behind her again, and they do, but not without shouting a question forward: "But how did you do that?"
"...I lost my patience once. I think the Sadnesses still remember."
"They're scared of you!" Bonnie says, sounding amazed, but Siffrin flinches.
You...don't think they're very proud of whatever they did back then.
Did he lose his patience with the Sadness? Or with you, getting anxious and flustered over and over?
"Accept that you'll always be alone!"
They said they didn't mean it like that, but that must have been a lie to try to smooth things over.... who would want to be bonded with someone as unreliable as you?
As you pass the Sadness to leave the hallway, it shrinks away from Siffrin again, sliding back in the other direction now, its eyes darting to you as if asking for rescue.
It's not a person in danger. It's just a stagnant emotion. But it's still unnerving to see, especially as it repeats in the next hallway--this time there are two Sadnesses, not just one, but they both practically fling themselves out of the way to clear Siffrin's path.
"So all the Sadnesses back off?" Isabeau asks. "Could make getting through the House easier!"
Oh! Of course Isabeau finds the bright side of this. That is good! It's great! Except--you're supposed to practice your shield.
"It's almost all of them. I can handle the others."
You're supposed to practice your shield! "We can fight too!" you remind them. Yes, you get anxious, your medication is frozen in your room, but you've been fighting all this time! Doesn't that count for something?
Siffrin doesn't answer, and you hear Madame make a low sound in her throat, short and frustrated. "Siffrin, where are the Wish Craft books?"
"...We need to get past the rock trap first."
The next corridor is short with three doors: left, right, and dead ahead. Siffrin turns right wordlessly and you all move to follow him, but Bonnie's barely through the doorway by the time Siffrin's scooped up a key lying on the floor and turned back around, so quick you barely have time to note the face of the Change God statue in the room has cracked, either from the King's initial attack or the Curse afterward. It adds to the uneasy feeling in your chest, which really didn't need to get any worse.
Siffrin turns right again, to the door that was dead ahead when you first entered this corridor, and places the key into a lock with the Change circles--like the gate's pattern, circles within circles to show your place in the world.
You go into the next hall and frown, because you already knew from the outside that the House has been warped by the King's Curse but up until now the rooms and halls were familiar to you, and this one--
Ah!!! Siffrin was just talking about rock traps!! You immediately stop, and grab Isabeau's wrist when he starts walking past you. "This is the Death Corridor!" you tell him, looking to make sure Bonnie's stopped walking, too--Madame Odile is always observant and careful, so you're not surprised to see she's already stopped. Siffrin is walking confidently through the room to a pillar, but that's okay because he knows where the trap is! You don't!
Except he pauses, close to a middle pillar that must be part of the trap mechanism, and looks back at you all spread out at the beginning of the hall. He's still for a very long moment, and then...you see him breathe in, and out, a long slow breath.
...? You and Isabeau thought they did that when they want to calm down. "Is something wrong? Are we standing in a bad spot??" you ask. You thought the entrance would be safe but what if it's the danger spot, Bonnie needs to move--
Siffrin shakes their head jerkily. "Stay there. Don't move," he says, and he watches you all so carefully as he backs up to the pillar, his gloved hand fumbling around on the stone--he won't take his eye off you to look at what he's doing, why--
A thunderous BOOM slams through the hall as a giant rock falls to the floor. It's in the middle of the hall, in between you and Siffrin. Where someone might have been standing if they'd moved to follow Siffrin after you stopped them.
Siffrin steps out from around the rock to look at you all and giggles. "Bonk!"
You have no idea what's funny about this. But--okay, no one's hurt, nothing's wrong. Also, you don't think anyone got good sleep last night and it sounds like Siffrin might have gotten none at all, so... it's understandable if their sense of humor is a little off.
But Isabeau looks seriously disturbed. "Sif, uh...have you... has this?" He looks at Bonnie, who crosses their arms at him.
"Spit it out, 'Za."
Isabeau looks at you helplessly. You tilt your head.
And then you remember.
Siffrin was talking about letting a rock hit him last night!! About the death corridor dropping rocks if you didn't hit the switch, and how they pulverized!
He's died here too, hasn't he? Did you not warn them the first time? You never came to this corridor much, with the layout changed you might not have recognized it, and if you didn't recognize it and warn them there's no way Siffrin would've known to look for traps and they always lead so they would have died and that would've been your fault too!
"Never mind!" Isabeau says hastily. "It's all right, let's keep going!"
"Yes, if there are no more rocks, let's keep going," Odile agrees, though you can see the worry on her expression as she looks at you. But she shouldn't be worried about you.
You're not the one who's died.
...No wonder he hates you.