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When Cheng Xiaoshi returned from the dive, the moon had already risen far above the glass ceiling of the photo studio. Lu Guang was quietly enjoying a plate of strawberry shortcake beneath the stars, skillfully dodging Cheng Xiaoshi as he threw himself horizontally on the sofa.
“Why have there been so many love related commissions lately? Doesn’t anyone know how to communicate these days?” Cheng Xiaoshi complained, his voice muffled as he lay face down on the sofa.
“It’s not as simple as that. You’d have to have experienced it to understand.”
“I literally was experiencing it for the past twelve hours, and it still doesn’t make any sense. Besides,” Cheng Xiaoshi sat up, eyeing the cake in Lu Guang’s hands. “I’ve had my heart broken before, too.”
The latter raised an eyebrow. “Impossible.”
“Haven't I told you this before?” Cheng Xiaoshi . “You know, the pretty one who was in my class during middle school. She rejected me cause she was more of a cat person and I reminded her of a puppy.”
At the last word, Lu Guang mysteriously coughed. Cheng Xiaoshi glared at him half-heartedly before finishing his story.
“Ahem, point is, we were still on good terms even after she made fun of me for confessing. So there was really nothing to be afraid of.”
“Maybe she was just taking pity on a poor puppy.”
Cheng Xiaoshi threw a playful punch. “What’d you just call me?”
“Nothing.” Surprisingly, the punch actually made brief contact with the pale cheek it was targeting before being countered with an elbow to the stomach. The elbowee dramatically fell backward onto the sofa, a pout of feigned hurt on his face.
“I’m actually quite charismatic, you know. I can’t even name all the girls who have asked to add my number.”
Lu Guang said nothing, only wearing a slight smile as he put the half-eaten slice of cake on the coffee table.
“Don’t believe me?”
“Of course I believe you.”
Cheng Xiaoshi eyed him suspiciously, preparing to defend himself but thought better of it this time. It was indeed true that there was no shortage of girls who’d attempt to inconspicuously stop by their college basketball games and sneak in small talk with him afterwards. However, despite this, Cheng Xiaoshi hadn’t dated anyone in the five or so years that he’d known Lu Guang, so from his perspective, it would probably seem as though he’d fumbled every single one of them. Truth was, he just hadn’t really clicked with any of the girls, even the ones who he still regularly hung out with, some who he’d consider way out of his league. He’d once even joked that he’d rather just date Lu Guang if he couldn’t find a girl suitable for him, but after that, Lu Guang had decided to ignore him for three days straight, so he never dared to pull a stunt like that again. The thought of that memory made Cheng Xiaoshi physically recoil, so he decided to change the subject.
“Lu Guang, have you ever liked anyone?” It was surprising that this was the first time he was asking the question, but he’d always taken the answer for granted since Lu Guang never seemed interested in anything but books that normal people couldn’t even pretend to understand.
Lu Guang’s eyes seemed to look beyond the far wall of the photo studio for the tiniest fraction of a second before he shook his head. Unfortunately, that moment’s hesitation was more than enough for Cheng Xiaoshi to pounce.
“No way you actually have.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes widened. He moved closer, countering Lu Guang’s attempt to flee by wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “I really didn’t think Guang Guang was the kind to have a crush. Who is it? Surely not Qiao Ling, right? But you’ve never really been close with any other girls.”
“Get off, dumbass. I already said, I’ve never liked any girl.” Lu Guang turned his face away, which only prompted Cheng Xiaoshi to move closer.
“There’s no way I could’ve mistaken your lying face. Plus,” He pinched the soft cartilage that had turned a similar hue as the strawberry shortcake left abandoned on the table. “ your ears are so red, you’re obviously really embarrassed about it.”
“Who’s embarrassed?” Lu Guang retorted in spite of the flush in his cheeks growing more evident by the second.
“Tell meeeeeeeee. Pleeeeeease?” At this point, Cheng Xiaoshi had resorted to the tactic of annoying information out of Lu Guang, trying to get as close as possible while narrowly dodging fingers that tried to push him away. “You’re my most treasured friend. Frankly, I’m offended that you won’t tell me something as trivial as this”
That seemed to do it, finally earning an exasperated “Will you go to bed if I tell you?” from Lu Guang. Cheng Xiaoshi nodded enthusiastically in response.
There was a short silence, as if Lu Guang was carefully choosing the words he’d use to describe his beloved. However, the words that came out of his mouth completely defied any expectations.
“She was a complete idiot.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone you liked.” a certain idiot frowned, slightly taken aback by this answer. He let go of Lu Guang and picked up the plate with dessert, waiting to hear the rest of the story. The shortcake didn’t last long however, being reduced to mere crumbs in the time it took for the next sentence to be said.
“She was impulsive, clumsy, childish, and had way too much to say”
“Lu Guang, I asked who you liked, not who you hate the most.”
“I wasn’t done.” Lu Guang looked over to the other side of the couch, his eyes landing on the bits of frosting that lingered on the corner of Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth. “You missed a spot.”
The dark-haired boy quickly swiped the sugary pink icing away with his tongue, prompting his partner to continue his story with eager eye contact. For some reason, this made Lu Guang develop a sudden interest in the pattern of the floorboards.
“She was caring, almost to a fault. She gave the world to people she never knew, and she always tried her best for everyone, even without knowing what her ‘best’ was. And… her smile. Her damned smile was so contagious, it was impossible to frown while she was happy.” As if seeing the smile he was describing, Lu Guang’s lips spread slightly.
Just how head over heels was this grumpy old man that the presence of a girl could brighten his mood? Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he could certainly believe the lovestruck expression on Lu Guang’s face.
“And you never told me about her?”
Lu Guang shrugged. “Not like you’ll ever meet her.”
Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help but feel a little indignant, and maybe somewhere in his heart, jealousy, but he pushed those feelings aside, reminding himself that it wasn’t illegal for friends to keep secrets from each other. “So did you ever confess?”
For a moment, the muffled chirping of crickets out the window was the only sound that filled the empty air between the two. Cheng Xiaoshi was about to announce that he didn’t care that much and was going to bed when a quiet voice finally broke the silence.
“Didn’t think I had a chance.” Lu Guang swallowed. “But if I’d known that there was going to be a day where she only existed in my memories, maybe I would’ve taken the initiative for once.”
The cool air that was usually a blessing in these humid midsummer nights suddenly seemed to bite through the thin T-shirt that hung loosely from Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders. The question he’d asked with the air of banter now carried a suffocating aura that he couldn’t quite figure out how to dissipate. When he’d processed the weight of Lu Guang’s words, he moved back over to the other side of the sofa and wrapped his arms around the hunched silhouette of his best friend.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a lifetime ago.” Lu Guang hesitated, perhaps pondering whether his actions should reflect his words. He ultimately chose to bury himself deeper into the embrace, pressing his face into the familiar comfort of the other person’s presence, the slight frigidity of his nose on an exposed collarbone making the heart underneath skip a beat. His body shook ever so slightly, and Cheng Xiaoshi tightened his hold, resting his chin in the moonlight coloured bird’s nest, its light lavender scent spreading a meditative feeling throughout his body. He closed his eyes, wondering how much better the boy in his arms would feel if he could just smell his own hair. His hands moved of their own accord, toying with the delicate silver strands before he froze, remembering the unforgiving glare he received the last time his fingers came within six inches of the forbidden fluff. However, this time, Lu Guang didn’t seem to mind, even leaning into it a bit, so Cheng Xiaoshi let himself relax and allowed his hands to wander.
They stayed intertwined for an undetermined amount of time, light breaths and heartbeats filling the comfortable silence between. To Cheng Xiaoshi, it had hardly felt like a minute had passed, but admittedly, he probably would have felt the same way even if they stayed there until sunlight began to seep through the window. Lu Guang would often comfort him with gentle hugs after a particularly draining commission or nightmare, but he would hardly ever allow it to be the other way around. Too often did Cheng Xiaoshi hear the words “I’m going out for a walk” only to be left alone for hours on end as Lu Guang dealt with his troubles alone in some place known only to himself. If this was the one time he was going to be able to help, he wanted to make sure Lu Guang felt as safe as possible.
“Thank you, Cheng Xiaoshi.” The warmth on his body suddenly dissipated as Lu Guang untangled himself, finally able to meet his most trusted partner’s eyes. A faint blush still tinged his cheeks, his eyelids drooping slightly, wet eyelashes catching the moonlight in a way that made them shimmer. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help but think that he looked a bit akin to a purring cat. He subconsciously reached out to fix a stray hair, but Lu Guang stood up out of reach, so he awkwardly dropped his hand back to his side.
“I think it’s time we go to bed.” The 1:56 on his watch flashed its assent.
Cheng Xiaoshi held onto a white sleeve. “Are you sure you never had the chance? Maybe I could-”
“It’s something that I’ve already thought through many times. The past can’t be changed. It would only hurt more if she knew.” Lu Guang’s eyes clouded with an unknown emotion, and Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help but feel a tinge of regret that he still had no idea who this mystery girl was despite her existence, or lack thereof, allowing such an intimate moment between them. Still, if Lu Guang wanted him to know, he would already know, and he had to respect that.
“Let me know if you change your mind.”
Lu Guang picked up the plate that had been licked clean. “Mn. Let’s head up then.”
Their nighttime routine after that consisted of the usual mundane chatter about running the shop the next day. Cheng Xiaoshi offered to take the morning shift since he was the one who suggested taking the commission, but he knew he was going to regret that decision in about five hours’ time. Still, there was no way he was making Lu Guang take the first shift after that whole ordeal.
As they were about to settle into bed, Lu Guang suddenly brought it back up.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you more.” He stood at the base of the bunk bed, looking at the vaguely darkness on the lower bunk. “I hope I’ll be able to explain everything one day, and I hope you won’t hate me too much for it.”
Cheng Xiaoshi turned in his sheets. “There’s nothing that you could do in this world that would make me hate you, Lu Guang.”
Lu Guang chuckled softly ascended the ladder, the worn wood creaking slightly.
“Sleep tight, Cheng Xiaoshi.”
“You too.”