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Ochako has always liked to see people smile.
It's all she ever wants, really. To be the reason someone is unable to contain their happiness. To watch their faces light up with unbriddled joy. Especially those who are in trouble. The people who need to smile the most.
Himiko Toga is one of those people.
Ochako is more than aware of the girl. She's in most of her classes, yet that isn't why she knows her. Isn't why she stays up at night, the girls name rolling around her brain like a parasite that just wont let go of her.
No. Ochako knows Himiko, because Himiko wants to be known by her. Intimately. Ochako herself has never known someone to so shamelessly broadcast their crushes, not until Himiko Toga. She has never directly confessed, of course. She hasn't taken the risk. Not when Ochako is always surrounded by gaggles of other students. But it's known. It's known from the way Himiko gravitates toward her in lessons, as if pulled by a magnet unseen by untrained eyes. It's seen in the way Himiko conveniently bumps into Ochako outside of lessons, only accompanied by shining bright eyes and an even brighter smile. It's known by the soft flush of cheeks and shameless giggles whenever Ochako happens to spare her a morsel of attention.
The girls unyeilding attention shouldn't be flattering. Not when Ochako has the attention of much more conventional admirers. Izuku is safer than Himiko, so Ochako chalks up the butterflies in her stomach as moths. Dead and dark, drawn to the light that will inevitably burn them to death. Himiko is the sun, and Izuku is the moon. Ochako knows which is easer to float to.
And that's what she had planned.
She had planned to bask in the soft moonlight of Izuku's gaze. His admiring smile, and gentle demeanor. The flustered smile he'd send her way across the hall, before Ochako would be whisked away by her friends. All rambling and giggling profusely, desperate for details of something Ochako couldn't bare to really think too hard about.
it was safe. Normal. She made Izuku smile, and he made her smile in return. And that should've been enough.
Ochako could ignore the hot gaze of longing scorching her back. Could ignore the golden pools of honey begging to draw her in, to drown and suffocate in their sticky sweetness.
But Ochako could't ignore the sudden loss of such a cute smile.
So when Himiko rises from her seat, suddenly, in the middle of class. Politely excusing herself and fleeing the room with a fluid elegance. A dark mask shadowing her face- her smile. Ochako couldn't stop herself from following. Especially not with the gentle tugging of her heartstrings, insisting that those were tears. Even Himiko's well practised mask couldnt disguise the bitter dampness swelling in her eyes.
Ochako lingers outside the lavatory door with apprehension.
This might have been a mistake. She might have jumped to conclusions. Himiko might be perfectly fine. Maybe she has allergies. Ochako doesn't know the girl that well, not really. They aren't friends. They haven't even had what could be classed as an actual conversation. Ochako might have reversed their roles, although instead of the childish act of following your crush through the halls, Ochako may have jumped straight to stalking the girl to the toilets- of all places!
But the low hum of worry buzzing through her chest is far too uncomfortable to ignore. So with a nervous inhale of breath, she gently pushes the door open and steps inside.
The bathroom doesn't look unusual at first. It's the same bathroom Ochako goes to every day, just outside of their maths class for convenience. Only as she steps further into the room, Ochako notices the first signs of trouble. Drops of blood scatter the floor. Rich and dark, vibrant evidence of light spilled carelessly on the floor. Accompanied by what is equally as alarming: the sound of sniffling. Gentle sobs echoing through the bathroom. Violent and pained between desperate inhales of air.
Her image of Himiko has always been bright. Warm, sharp smiles slicing through the air between them. Hot, spilled honey of her eyes. The supple flush of her pale cheeks. Ochako had always thought she was cute. In the normal way a girl thinks that: with platonic affection, admiration of something she desired for herself. Desire, longing. In the way all girls long for eachother.
Ochako steps further into the room, eyes trained on the stall that the noise is coming from.
"Himiko?" She asks quietly. So quiet, so afraid of seeing the girl's pretty smile gone, of seeing her face twisted in pain and discomfort. So quiet, it's practically a whisper. A whisper she isn't even sure is loud enough to be heard over the sounds of sobbing.
Ochako comes infront of the stall, and it's open slightly. Not locked in haste, she assumes. She pushes the door open hesitantly, peering inside. "Himiko?" She whispers again, louder this time.
Her heart stops. The sight isn't what she had expected: not at all.
Himiko Toga is knelt in the stall. Long streams of tears flooding down her cheeks. Cat-like eyes upturned, rolled back in ecstasy. Her smile isn't gone. Infact, it's wider than Ochako has ever seen it. A sharp split of her face, practically reaching her ears. It exposes her fangs, except not fully, because they're sunk straight into the girls wrist. Smeared in the hot thrumming liquid of Himiko's blood. Spilling from her wrist and into her mouth, tongue dyed red with it's efforts of lapping up all the spillage.
Ochako feels something uncomfortable writhing in her stomach. A thought so cruel, so unknowing, yet the first thing she thinks: what is with her?
But then the still-image of Himiko suddenly snaps to light, and it fades. Her smile lessens, eyes focused on Ochako, face twisted now into that of someone who's mask has slipped. Cracked to pieces. A masterpiece Ochako wasn't meant to bare witness to.
Himiko looks scared. And Ochako much preferred her smile.
"Ochako...W-what are you doing here?" The girl croaks out. Her voice sounds different. Lower, more hesitant than Ochako has ever seen the loud girl. She doesn't like it.
She smiles softly, holding her hand out. "i came to check on you. Are you okay?"
Himiko looks at her hand as if it's the entire world. As if she had truthfully expected Ochako to do anything but offer help. To offer up disgust and repulsion instead, maybe. But Ochako isn't like that. When Himiko takes her hand, it's a hesitant action. Soft and longing, light on her feet as she allows herself to be pulled up. Following Ochako out of the bloody stall, and instead settling against the counter. She looks so unsure, so nervous in her actions. Avoiding both Ochako's gaze and her own in the mirror reflection.
Ochako wants to see her smile, again.
"You looked upset." Ochako breaks the silence, already moving to wet a paper towel under the tap. Turning to Himiko with a gentle question. Looking at the indents of her wrist. A burning, red, fleshy bite mark, deep in the girls skin. Not for the first time, either, if the soft pink and white scars littering the rest of the girl's forearm is anything to go by. "Something must have happened to make you look so sad."
Himiko doesn't say anything. Not for a few seconds, as the silence between them stretches, with golden eyes staring at her and only her. The silence in which Ochako worries that she's crossed a line. Pushed a boundary with her worry. Ruined her chances of helping the girl. But then Himiko sighs, and offers up her wrist.
"He called me a freak." She eventually mumbles, mouth twisted down into a tiny frown. Bloodied fangs poking her puffy lips. "The biggest freak in the room, apparently."
Ochako pauses. Her hold on Himiko's wrist soft and gentle, wet towel held over her wrist. Unsure, yet determined. "Who?" She asks, prioritising Himiko's feelings over the urgent, panicked devotion currently swimming through her veins.
"Saito." Himiko mumbles. And Ochako's expression joins her own, although with a little more anger. It isn't conveyed in the way she touches the girl, though. She wipes the blood with gentleness. Soft touches, washing away the pain Himiko had endured. Endured with a smile on her face. Bold and proud, yet silent and ashamed. Himiko is somewhat fascinating in her complexities. "I heard him whispering to the others. I think...I don't think I was meant to hear. Or maybe I was, and he wanted to see what I'd do." She contemplates. And the idea of anyone treating Himiko's heartache like a game sickens Ochako.
"Listen to me, Himiko." She says, and the determination in her voice seems to startle Himiko. "Don't listen to nasty words like that. You are who you are. Don't let others ruin that cute smile of yours. I envy anyone who can smile so genuinely, even though they're covered in wounds. It's cool, you know."
Himiko just stares at her, that silence from earlier making a re-appearance. And Ochako feels ungodly nervous. As if she's been gutted by the sharp blade of a knife, her insides flipping and twisting in all the wrong ways. She has never felt this sort of fear with Izuku. The thought should drive her away from the girl infront of her. Should be a huge red flag, forcing her to retreat back to the dull safety waiting for her.
But then Himiko smiles.
And Ochako doesn't think she could ever imagine a world without it. She smiles back, both gazing at eachother like love-sick girls.
"You really...think I'm cute?" Himiko asks breathlessly. Tears, blush and smile right back on her face. Only this time, they're in pure happiness. Rather than sick satisfaction of her pain, of her blood rushing down her throat. This time, Himiko is smiling because of Ochako. Because Ochako has made her happy. And Ochako feels high. Like her body is floating upwards, entangling herself with Himiko's in a long-awaited embrace.
"The cutest in the whole world." Ochako smiles back.
The hug is unexpected, but not unwanted. Ochako stiffens nervously, feeling Himiko cling to her. Blood, sweat and tears ruining both of their school uniforms. But then Ochako hears the happy, almost purring, longing giggle of Himiko against her neck and she immedietely softens. Wrapping her arms around the girl's shoulders, and pulling her close. Chest to chest, heart to heart. Two girls hugging.
Ochako shifts, bringing her hand up to brush against Himiko's wrist. "Next time you want to do this, come to me."
Himiko pulls back, staring at her with a confused expression. Smile momentarily faded to make room for the turmoil of emotions she must be feeling. Ochako only smiles wider, pulling the girl's wrist to her lips. Kissing the fresh warm bite there, staining her lips with Himiko's blood. When she looks up at the girl through her eyelashes, the effect is obvious. Golden eyes blown wide, dialated, lips parted in disbelief. Cheeks dusted with heat.
If anyone walked in, saw their bloodstained mouths, maybe it would look odd. Maybe, it would look like they were two vampires, co-dependant on eachother's blood. A back-and-forth tango, dancing between violence and love. Or, maybe, a more normal person would just think that they had kissed.
Ochako likes the sound of both ideas.
"You can have my blood for the rest of my life." She smiles, and it's only a few seconds before Himiko burries herself back into Ochako's warmth, but it feels like an eternity too long.
"You're so weird, Ochako." Himiko whispers against her, fondness laced in her tone. Ochako smiles wider, smiling against Himiko's hair.
"There's no-one else I'd rather be weird with."