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Fake. Grian was used to fake. It shouldn’t bother him so much that Scar was being so… fake.
Ever since… well, since the first life game, although it had gotten worse after each, Scar had been acting fake towards Grian. Fake smiles, fake laughter, fake kindness. And yeah, Grian knew he deserved it. He’d hurt Scar so much, more than he could believe. But the fake was stabbing, agonising.
It only made matters worse that Grian was still, against his best attempts, in love with Scar.
Speak of the devil, Grian noticed the achingly familiar figure sitting on the edge of the nearby crest, looking across to the secret keeper.
“Boo,” Grian said neutrally, sitting beside him.
Scar didn’t jump, but tensed slightly. “Oh, hey G-man! I thought you moved out of this spot?”
“I did, I just happened to see you here and came over.” Grian sighed. “We need to talk.”
Scar tensed further. “Oh? What about, my friend?”
“This.” Grian rested a hand on Scar’s arm, and he went rigid. “You’re not comfortable around me, Scar, and I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable with me.”
Scar glanced at him, but Grian didn’t return it, keeping his eyes firmly on his hand, on Scar’s arm. Scar pulled away.
“Well, I have no idea what you mean! I’m not uncomfortable, apart from with this ground. Gosh, who terraformed this?”
“You’re deflecting,” Grian sang sadly. “Like it or not, we know each other, Scar. You’re tense around me. I can only assume it’s because of how I treated you in past seasons.”
Despite Grian being prepared to go on all night, Scar caved then, faster than he’d expected.
“Yeah. Yeah, it is. I’m trying to protect myself, Grian, I don’t want you making me miserable again. You aren’t going to walk all over me again.”
That hurt like a blow to the ribs, but Grian didn’t let it show.
“That’s fair. I was shitty to you, pardon my language.”
Scar blinked at him, but didn’t comment on it. “You were. I know.”
“I know it means nothing, but I’m grasping for straws here mate, so I’m sorry,” Grian said simply. “I’m sorry for killing you in Limited Life, I’m sorry for being so controlling and patronising, and straight-up cheating on you in Double Life, I’m sorry for abandoning you in Last Life, and I’m sorry for- pretty much everything in Third life. For killing you the first time, for forcing you to stick with me and ridiculing your plans, for ignoring your advice, for not warning you about the ravine and causing you to lose your second life, for the wars I caused, and- and for killing you again, at the end.” Grian swallowed. “I’m really sorry, Scar, I’ll do anything to make it up to you, say the words.”
Scar was silent for a long time, long enough for Grian’s eyes to fill with tears.
“Don’t apologise for Third Life,” he said quietly, eventually. “That was the best, although it was messy. Every other time I’ve missed the you I had then.”
Grian sniffed. “I can try to be that person again.”
“I’m not gonna ask that. But I will ask you to please be kind to me this time,” Scar said, the words raw. A silent tear slipped down Grian’s cheek.
“I will.” He made no move to wipe it away, hoping Scar wouldn’t notice. He didn’t, until the tear dropped onto Grian’s hand, resting in his lap.
Scar glanced at him. “You wanted to have this conversation,” he said, and Grian furiously wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
“I know,” he sighed. “Because we needed to. I needed to.”
“Why?” Scar asked.
Grian swallowed. “Closure, I guess? Either to let you know I regret it and know I was a dick, or for selfish reasons to make myself feel better. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t’ve.” He made a move to stand, but Scar caught his wrist.
“Wait, stay. The yellows are trying to interrogate Scott, it’s rather entertaining when you can’t hear anything.”
Sure enough, in the near distance, a crowd of people had formed. Grian was grateful for the excuse, although it was flimsy.
“Do you watch people like this often?” He asked to distract from him cleaning his face.
“Meh, sometimes. If I’m bored,” Scar shrugged.
Grian hummed, yawning. The sun had begun to set in the west, and the darkness prompted fatigue.
He fidgeted, unsure whether to stay or leave.
“You’re at Etho and Cleo’s, right?” Scar asked. Grian nodded. “That’s way away, and mobs are spawning. C’mon, stay the night at mine.” He got up and offered Grian a hand. As he took it, Grian searched his body language, and found no tenseness.
“Are you…?” He didn’t finish the question, because Scar didn’t need him to.
“People sometimes say I’m too forgiving,” Scar said. “Especially when it comes to you. You’ve managed to clamber into my heart and, no matter what, you don’t leave.”
“My speciality, annoying people,” Grian joked so he could analyse Scar’s words.
Except Scar didn’t give him a chance before hitting him with another train. “Not being annoying, being loveable.”
Grian tripped over the stairs, and Scar caught him before he could crash to the ground.
“Woah there, you alright?” Grian’s skin grew warm, and he hurriedly pulled away from Scar’s grasp.
“F-fine, sorry. Just, ah, stumbled, I guess. What- erm, do you have two beds?”
“Nope,” Scar declared. “But we can share, like back in the desert. Body heat conservation.” He tapped the side of his nose wisely, reflexively blinking at each touch.
Grian glanced away as they stepped over the threshold. “Sure.“
Scar grinned. “That’s the first time you’ve agreed so easily to something like this!”
Grian raised an eyebrow. “Something like this?” He repeated cynically.
“Something couple-y,” Scar said casually, waving it away as if the comment didn’t send Grian into a sweat. “You usually don’t give in until a few goes.”
Grian sighed. “Someone needs to teach you about consent, buddy.”
“That’s different, you’re just stubborn in this case, and have too much dignity.”
“I have a perfectly sensible amount of dignity,” Grian declared. “Now where’s your bed?”
Scar laughed fondly. “In the back, here.”
He shut the door carefully as Grian inspected the rather small bed.
“Are we going to fit?” He asked.
“If we cuddle close!” Scar pulled his shirt off, and Grian sighed.
“Scar, put your clothes back on. Woah, déjà vu.”
Scar laughed lightly. “Fine, fine, just for you.”
Grian breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing if he could bear being in such proximity to a shirtless Scar for that long.
He pulled off his sweater, bending his wings through the holes and flapping them lightly once they were out to relieve the stiffness from disuse.
Meanwhile, Scar had gotten into the bed, holding the covers open in invitation. Grian sighed, discarding his sweater on the floor and clambering in beside the man.
Scar had been right; there was just about enough space, but only if he got closer. Grian sighed, yet again, regretted his life choices, and pressed his body against Scar’s.
Scar made a sound, a small, cut-off gasp.
“Surprised? You invited me,” Grian pointed out.
“Well, yes, but I didn’t expect you to. You know. Actually accept.”
“You told me to do that too.”
“What?”
The room was dim, but in their proximity Grian could see the way Scar stared down at him, all confusion and a slight flush on his cheeks.
“You said,” Grian started, now a little confused himself. “You said to be kind. Be kinder than the arsehole I was.”
Scar reached out and Grian jumped when he cradled his face in both hands. They both gazed into each other’s eyes, dark in the moonlight.
“Grian, sweetheart. I asked you to be kind to me. I did not ask you to just obey everything. You can say no, and still be kind. Having boundaries is not a sin.”
Grian squirmed inside. “I know that, Scar. I’m- I’m not doing this just because of kindness, or charity or whatever. I want a fricking place to sleep, for one thing. And I want to make amends with you. So, y’know. This is both at once. Kinda.”
“Kinda?” Scar repeated.
Grian shrugged sideways. “Well I’m not a hundred percent sure if we’re all good, and we aren’t sleeping. But, kinda.”
“We’re all good, Grian,” Scar answered, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead. Grian’s wings puffed up in response, and he flushed, unable to hide his face while Scar was still holding him.
“Sure?” He checked.
“Sure,” Scar confirmed, smiling softly. “You look adorable with your feathers all fluffy like that. Like a baby chick.”
Grian huffed, staring resolutely at the wall behind Scar. “I’m incredibly offended by that, actually. And insulted.”
Scar giggled. “Aw, I’m sorry G. I can make it up to you?”
“How?” Grian walked right into it.
Scar smirked. “How about a kiss, huh? I think you deserve it.”
Grian bluescreened. He pulled Scar’s hands away from his face, flushing furiously. “I- you- what?”
Scar giggled unhelpfully.
“A kiss,” he repeated, as if that would help.
Grian took a few measured breaths. “I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” he couldn’t help but snark. “What do you mean, I’ve deserved a kiss?”
“I mean,” Scar grew suddenly sober, “that you’ve been in love with me for a little while now, haven’t you? And you hurt me because you were trying not to, but now you’re making amends. And I think that means you deserve some love.”
Grian stared at him for a moment, then snaked his arms around Scar’s waist under the covers. “You mean, you would let me kiss you?”
“Yup! No payment required,” Scar said cheerfully.
“The payment is that you get to kiss me,” Grian replied, in his stubborn way. “Wait, so- is this a one-time thing? I don’t want to be using you.”
Realisation dawned on Scar’s face. “Oh, whoops, did I forget to mention? I’m in love with you too, G. I’m suggesting a relationship, if you’re open to that.”
And, for the second time in the few minutes, Grian’s brain turned into a computer error message.
“What?” He distantly heard his vocal cords mustering.
Scar smiled softly, returning one hand to Grian’s cheek and brushing his thumb across his mouth. “Kiss me?” He asked sweetly.
How could he say no.
Grian lunched forwards, arms tightening around Scar as he kissed him with all the desperation of years’ worth of pining. Scar softly smiled into it, his hand slipping round the back of Grian’s neck and tangling in his hair as he melted.
“I love you,” he whispered against Grian’s lips when they moved apart.
Grian gazed at him, eyes liquid.
“I love you too,” he breathed before burying his head in Scar’s chest.
Scar wrapped one arm around his shoulders, the other still caressing his hair, and let him sob.