Chapter Text
Muffled shouting echoed from outside my door, filtering in through the cracks and making its way to where I sat in my hammock. Guess they were at it again, what a surprise. I placed my hands over my ears, trying to block out the sound of my brother’s shouts as they screamed insults at each other. Couldn’t they get along? You would think that after K-day they would stop their petty little fights, but apparently not. Ever since Splinter had appointed Leo as the new leader, all they ever did was fight and where was Splinter now?
Who knows, maybe he was off with Draxum again, at least they were getting along. It was nice to see my two dads hanging out and talking to each other, but unfortunately it left me and Donnie alone with Raph and Leo.
Donnie hated the fighting just as much as me, but instead of trying to fix it, he chose to just lock himself in his lab and pretend it wasn’t happening. I wanted nothing more than for Raph and Leo to stop fighting, to make up, or to go to Donnie for comfort, but that wasn’t happening, so I guess I'm stuck pulling a Donnie and hiding away from the problem. Sue me.
Maybe I could call April? No, she's probably asleep right now, she has school tomorrow and I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t get enough sleep.
I shifted to lay down in the hammock, pulling my knees to my plastron and burying my face in them, keeping my hands tightly clutched over my ears. Where were my headphones when I needed them? I had a pair of soundproof headphones, but of course I had lost them, gosh, why couldn’t I keep up with anything!
Frustration bubbled up in my chest, this sucked. I hated it so much! Why do me and Donnie have to suffer because Leo and Raph couldn't get over themselves? It’s not fair! My fingers curled into fists against my head, pressing harder against my ears in an attempt to dull the sounds of the fighting but it was no use. No matter how hard I tried, I could still hear their shouting, the bitter anger that was thrown between them and brought everybody else down with it.
The frustration burned in my chest, forming a lump in my throat and clawing at my mind. Tears stabbed at my eyes and I screwed them shut tightly, trying to no avail to hold back the inevitable. Hot tears dripped from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and soaking into my pillow. It was all so dumb! I hiccuped, choking on a sob that escaped my mouth before I could stop it. I shouldn’t be used to crying myself to sleep because my brothers couldn’t stop fighting! Another strangled sob escaped my lips, lost to the ever present shouting, filling the lair. More tears rolled down my face, blurring my vision and no doubt leaving a wet spot on my pillow.
This is getting old, I’m tired of hiding in my room and crying alone while they fought, isn’t there something I could do? I looked around my room and it seemed suddenly more suffocating than it was before. What if I went out of the lair? Just for a little bit, to clear my head. Yeah, that sounds like a solid plan.
Through tear-blurred vision, I pushed myself out of my hammock and to my feet, stumbling almost as soon as I stood, but quickly using my mystic powers to steady myself again before I could go tumbling to the ground.
Quickly, I reached my hand up to aggressively whip away the tears that were still falling from my eyes, in order to clear my vision enough to make it out of the lair. At least I had managed to stop sobbing, now just being reduced to idle tears and little sniffles.
I stepped around the stuff scattered all over my floor and made my way to my door. As soon as the door was opened, the shouts grew much louder and I could very clearly make out the words.
“Splinter made me the leader for a reason!” Leo shouted angrily, his tone sharp.
“I’m just saying that MAYBE just MAYBE you could actually listen to me for once! Is that too much to ask!?” Raph screamed aggressively back at him, sounding exasperated.
It was always the same stuff, couldn’t they at least find something new to fight about? I walked out of my room, not bothering to listen to Leo’s reply. The frustration continued to burn in my chest, Leo and Raph just adding more fuel to the fire with every shout and harsh insult or jab.
I was so sick and tired of it, tired of the fighting, tired of the noise, tired of not being able to do anything about it. Every time I tried, they would just shoo me away and continue fighting, they always apologized and said they would get better but they never did. I know they love each other and I know it hurts them both to fight like that, so why wouldn’t they stop? I’ve comforted them both on separate occasions after they had a particularly bad fight that left one or both of them crying.
We would talk, and they would tell me that they would stop fighting, try and be better, try to fix the family, but it never happened, they were just empty words, promises that were never fulfilled. It stung, I didn’t want to just sit and watch as their pointless fighting tore the family apart. Was that why Splinter started to hang out with Draxum more? To get away from the fighting. I can’t bring myself to blame him, honestly I would probably do the same thing too, it's gotta be better than having to sit and listen to their little shouting matches.
Sneaking past the two turtles wasn’t hard at all, they were too caught up in their own little world to even notice as I slipped out of the entrance. It was almost funny how easily I was able to walk out the entrance, though it did leave a bitter feeling that settled itself in the back of my mind. Even if they had noticed me leaving, would they have even paused their argument to ask about it? I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted to get out of the suffocating hell-hole that the lair had become.
The sewer was at least quiet, though it was rather chilly and darkness pushed against me from every side. However, I could no longer hear shouting and the relief was instant and felt like a weight being lifted. Some of my nerves were soothed by the quiet but I could still feel the frustration bubbling under my skin, threatening to boil over and my eyes still hurt from crying.
Huffing bitterly, I found the nearest ladder that led to the surface and started scaling it, ignoring the slight pain that pulsed through my arms as I did so. A slight orange glow from my scars very dimly lit up in the dark sewer, letting me vaguely see some of the ladder rungs above me as I climbed.
Once I was at the top, I pushed the manhole cover off, with a bit more force than I meant to, some of that pent-up frustration coming out as I shoved the metal lid. Immediately I was hit with a rush of freezing cold air, sending a chill down my spine. Right, It was the middle of winter, of course it would be cold. However the cold wasn't the only thing that greeted me when I popped my head out. A few frozen, white flakes fell from the sky and onto my head, melting and leaving little freezing droplets in their absence. Great, of course it was snowing too, just my luck, maybe a jacket would’ve been a good idea.
No use in dwelling on that, I didn’t need a jacket, I only planned on being out here for a few hours to blow off some steam and then I could head back to the warm lair, where hopefully Leo and Raph would have finally stopped fighting.
Ignoring the freezing temperatures and the ever familiar mystic glow in my arms, I pulled myself from the sewers, taking in the quietness of the New York Night. Even though it was the middle of the night, there were still some people out, it was New York after all, which meant I would probably have to stick to the allies or rooftops, seeing as he was still a giant talking turtle.
With swift movements, I scaled the file ladder on the side of the nearest building, tossing myself up to the roof. It was actually kinda nice outside, ignoring the biting cold, the quietness paired with the nighttime city lights was actually pretty calming.
I sat on the roof, dangling my feet over the edge and just looking at everything, watching all the people as they walked around, staring at the dark sky and the soft glow of the moon. The frustration that had been boiling under my skin earlier fizzled out a bit as I took a deep breath of the cool, crisp night air and allowed it to just sit in my lungs for a few seconds. It felt so much more refreshing than the cramped, noisy, anger-filled lair. My shoulders slumped as I exhaled the breath that I had been holding, seeing the breath come out and dissipate into the freezing air.
Some loose snowflakes fell from the dark sky, landing on the roof around me and on my bare skin. I shivered, the cold starting to feel like needles on my exposed skin. In hindsight I REALLY should have brought a jacket. I could go back to the lair and get one.
Nope.
I immediately shot down that thought as soon as it popped into my brain, the below zero temperatures felt way more inviting than the loud fighting that would surely greet me if I went back. I was willing to sit and suffer in the snow without a jacket than have to spend any more time in that lair, so what if I would most likely regret it later. That was a problem for feature Mikey to deal with. Plus I’m Michelangelo Hamto, badass Mystic warrior, ninja AND turtle mutant, I could handle a little cold.
With that thought, I sat, idly dangling my feet and pushing down the rising cold that ate away at me. My fingers were already starting to go numb and I wondered just how long I had been out here so far.
My gaze shifted to the little mounds of snow that were forming all along the city, glowing in the streetlights, maybe I could incorporate that into an art piece sometime.
If my hands ever stop shaking.
My hands HAD been getting better, but they still hadn't completely stopped shaking and it made doing anything art related almost impossible. My mind wandered back to many crumbled pieces of paper, each holding a ruined art piece, as well as many pencils broken out of frustration that still sat in my trash can. That was before Donnies compression gloves, but I still struggled a lot even with the gloves.
A loud sigh left my mouth as I let my train of thought trail off, I didn’t want to think about that right now, all I wanted was some peace, at least a little break from all the negativity. I let my gaze fall back to the softly glowing moon and just stared, it was pretty, part of me wanted to just reach out and touch it, wrap my fingers around it and hold it in my palm. Wouldn’t it be funny, if I just plucked the moon right out of the sky?
I let out a dry chuckle, my throat still sore from crying and my lungs starting to hurt from breathing in the cold air.
This was nice, just sitting out here, New York nights were always pleasant, a much needed break from all the chaos at the lair.
The cold air surrounded me, sinking into my skin, numbing my fingers, but I sat, staring at everything, just a few more hours and I would go back. All I wanted was to just stay here for a few more hours, before I had to head back home.
Just a little longer…