Chapter Text
Donnie wasn’t dumb.
He was certain of that. His lab was a continuous reminder of his intelligence. Intricately thought out devices piled up on desks and shelves he had the ingenuity to build on his own. And yet he couldn’t wrap his head around this most recent predicament.
Donnie will admit he’s the last to accept that he’s wrong about something, within any given topic he will always be absolutely certain he is correct and no other opinion will break through his skull unless he has irrefutable evidence to prove otherwise. And after events as of recent, he fears he may have been met with the irrefutable evidence that questions his very reality.
It was about his feelings for April.
Since the day he first visited the surface and met April. He was absolutely sure he had romantic feelings for her. That was the only way he could explain the feelings he felt towards her. He was just so enamoured by her and surely that’s what love felt like.
Well apparently not because while talking with Raph he had simply asked about how he felt for his girlfriend, Mona, and what he had heard confused him to no end because he didn't feel anywhere near that way about april.
He remembered Raph’s words clearly, “uhm..Well where do I start? She’s wonderful and strong and beautiful- I could watch her kick ass for hours! She’s just so awesome and I love being around her. Why are you asking anyway? Something up with old lover boy's crush~?”
It’s not that Donnie didn’t enjoy being around April. It’s just that he didn’t find her ‘beautiful’ ; he knew she was pretty. She was a pretty girl after all, but when Raph described further how ‘mushy’ he felt when he looked at Mona. Donnie couldn’t relate. He couldn’t relate at all…
He didn’t want to dwell on it too much; he was of the understanding that not everyone loves the same and that surely he did love April, just not the same as Raph.
So he asked his other siblings.
He asked his older sister, Leo, she’d responded about the same as Raph had. Going on about how she felt “fuzzy” whenever she was around her old crushes. Donnie rationalised this again, that her feelings didn’t count because her first crush from the real world was of her own sister.
Which was an obvious observation in his very correct opinion.
He tried one more time, with Mikey. And yet again to Donnie’s dismay, Mikey went on to describe how he felt “tummy butterflies and all warm and junk”. Something Donnie again didn’t relate to
It just didn’t make objective sense.
He cared for April deeply, he cherished the time they spent together alone or otherwise.When they first met he was fascinated by her, she was so different to him and his siblings. Everything she did was in a way he couldn’t comprehend, he wanted to know everything about her, figure out what made her tick, see the world she was part of through her eyes as if they were his own.
She baffled him.
Wait.
Oh.
That’s why he felt different towards her than his siblings had their own crushes. He wasn’t experiencing a crush.
How had he not realised it sooner?
He’d remembered then through his thought provoking brooding that he’d been soldering…the entire time he’d been zoned out and soldering.
He refocused himself to the little drone he’d been soldering back together and re-centred his thoughts to match. He continued to weld away at the drone further questioning his feelings internally.
He thought hard, thinking over every time they’d ever interacted and came to the conclusion that he must have misunderstood his feelings. Obviously. He had viewed April as more of a discovery than a person at first: not quite making the connection that she wasn’t an experiment or a study project simply because she hadn’t been present in his life before. He’d been so obsessed with the idea that she was a human, a normal fully functioning human who had been living in the big wide world and in that moment those big feelings that hit him had been so different and so out of his understanding he rationalised them by simply associating them with the only other emotions he’d also not been accustomed to.
He felt like an idiot.
He let out a quiet huff, the little drone looking less and less appealing to work on. Donnie would need a moment away from it all to think about things further. Casey would probably be ecstatic to hear about how Donnie would no longer serve as competition, no matter how enjoyable he found torturing Casey with their little antics together.
Almost as if Casey had heard Donnie’s thoughts, Donnie heard the indisputable sound of crashing and fumbling at his labs’ entrance.
Casey rather rudely almost kicked the door off its hinges and made his presence very well known to his turtle nemesis.
On second thought the drone was looking much more attractive to work on.
“Hey Don! my man”
“Jones, to what do I owe the displeasure?”, he scoffed.
“Huh?”
“What do you want, Jones.”, he ensured that the ‘Jones’ was highlighted. Casey hated being called Jones so naturally it was all Donnie could call him.
“W-well nuthin much just-...I think I’m like into someone.”, he stuttered out.
This was odd. Donnie knew Casey had feelings for April. It was the basis for the two’s entire rivalry, surely he was trying to prank Donnie somehow. He feigned disinterest, continuing to connect the different panels of his project, being careful not to burn himself.
“And? I already know you like April. Why tell me agai-”
“It’s not April…it’s someone else”
Oh?
“And you need me to know this because?”, His eyes never shifted, under all accounts Donnie felt he was playing up being disinterested pretty well. If you ignored the bouncing of his knees below the table. He was, in fact, very interested.
Why, though?
“W-well- I just kinda wanted some advice, they kinda act like you so maybe you could tell me what you’d do if you were in their shoes…”, Casey was sweating quite obviously, wringing out his hands and avoiding looking at the turtle. Opting rather to stare at a random clump of scrap metal that had some wires sticking out of it in all different directions.
What a weird thing to say. ‘They act like him’. Whatever that meant he was intrigued.
“Okay…sure whatever.”, he replied, too focused on his own task to notice Casey’s attention immediately shift to him.
“Really?!? Thanks man. Okay so i wanted to ask this person out and I don’t know how to do it, h-they really like tech and stuff but I dunno how to mix that up into a date idea.”
“Okay, if you want to ask them out on a date you’d be best off by looking into things they like and putting it into a confession first. If it were me I’d like to be part of the planning of any date I would be attending.”, he was mainly focusing on the ‘they act like you’ statement still.
“Tell me more about them, maybe I can help you figure out a way to confess. It’d get you off my shell”, He hummed at his half-joke. If he had turned around to meet the human’s gaze behind him then, he would’ve seen the utter state he was in.
Casey was sweating profusely, cheeks a soft dust of rose and his eyes weren’t focusing on anything in the room for longer than a brief moment. His knees were like jelly and his hands were still being wrung out like a damp linen cloth.
“We-well umm! Describe them? I don’t think uhuh- I don’t think you need me to des-scribe them!” He squirmed from embarrassment. Why did he think this was a good idea? ‘Cause he’s an idiot.
“It’s not exactly that difficult to see why I’d need a description, Jones. If you’re embarrassed don’t be. I couldn’t care less about who it is you’re ‘into’ as you say”
He was a filthy fucking liar in that respect.
Casey was barely verbal at this point. He’d finally processed the fact he was trying to squeeze an idea for a confession out of his crush, forgetting who he had a crush on. Donnie was smart, much smarter than anyone gave him credit for (on second thought maybe it was about as much as he was given credit for). He’d surely notice who Casey was describing was himself within moments. Oh who gives a shit, he was going to confess soon anyways.
“Well…he’s tall, really smart , Oh! And his favourite type of pizza is plain cheese.”
“...You are not good at describing people Casey.”, Donnie knew Casey was being broad with his description on purpose but the details he provided were bordering on irrelevant if not stupid to tell anyone.
“I know.”
“I meant like his interests, what is he into? What does he do in his free time? Useful stuff not what his favourite type of pizza is… though he must have good taste cheese pizza is the superior pizza type”
“Uhh… I’m not really sure actually. We aren’t exactly on friendly terms…”
“...You’re joking aren’t you? Tell me you’re joking. You want to try and confess to someone who doesn’t like you?!” Donnie took a moment to put his work and soldering iron down and face the other. Not fully caring about the actual premise of Casey’s plan but rather he was burning to find out who it was.
“Y'know what! I-i think i can hear April calling me hehe… I’m gonna go-”
“Casey.”, Donnie interrupted Casey’s rambling firmly.
“Y-yeah.”, Casey couldn’t move his legs anymore. He was so embarrassed that he’d tried this plan. He just wanted to confess his feelings for Donnie, to get them off his chest and be done with it.
“What the hell is wrong! It’s not a big deal who you’re into, but I’m invested now so tell me who is it you like.”
“...You. the- person is you.”
Huh.
“...What.” Donnie was stunned. Confused even, was this real? Surely this wasn’t real? His chest tightened and his face burned , how odd, his eyes wide open as he fumbled backwards slamming his hand on the table not caring where it landed.
If you were curious as to where it landed, his palm collided square with the hot metal instrument of his soldering iron.
“MOTHER FUCKER-”
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Casey had rushed Donnie to the med bay to be checked out. He examined the burn, it was about second or first degree, thoroughly and put ointment onto it.
The silence was…awkward to say the least.
“Look Donnie I-”
“It hurts.”, he interrupted.
“Wha?”Donnie's focus was on the ground and Casey was mainly focused on Donnie’s burn, he hadn’t noticed Donnie’s expression.
Donnie raised his head to meet Casey’s gaze.
“My face burns” he explained, he had the most furious blush on his face Casey had ever seen. It was a nice forestry green against Donnie’s olive skin. His eyes were squinted with embarrassment, his lips quivering as if he were cold. Cute.
“My face burns, my stomach tingles, my legs feel numb I- Casey I think I’m sick”
Casey searched Donnie’s face further, recording every little detail of his expression. The way his eyes twitched in annoyance at the thick silence, how the apples of his cheeks pushed up in an uncomfortably tight frown, the shimmery freckles that were accentuated by his deep green blush, the way his mask furrowed were his eyebrows would have been and how a fresh mist of tears threatened to spill out of his maroon eyes. All of it catalogued and kept hidden away deep in his mind for later.
Casey laughed lightly, more of an exhale in truth. “You’re not sick Don”
“It sure fucking feels like it” he snapped, eyes squinting further. The tears threatening to flow coated his whole eye, the flood gates were barely being held back behind Donnie’s gritted teeth.
“I know, but you’re not. You’re flustered is all” He looked almost apologetic at the terrapin. Donnie so obviously didn't have a clue what was happening, he looked like he was in pain.
“Flustered? Why would I be fluster-ED!” Casey leaned in close to Donnie’s face, eyes meeting. Donnie's eyes shot open, the film of tears covering his eyes thinned out. Casey looked calm, smiling slightly.
No movements were made, Casey stayed still - firm in his stance. He still had Donnie’s hand in his, Donnie’s burned palm faced the ceiling.
Donnie felt like he was a pot of water on the stove, boiling away - the pressure had been building too much.His face burned his hand burned fuck- everything burned. Steam was practically shooting from his ears as the pressure built. Casey looked so calm, so gentle so-
Donnie pulled backwards.
He shot up from his stool and bolted for the door, narrowly avoiding Casey’s attempt at clutching his injured hand.
“DONNIE-!?”
He didn’t look back, he just sped off into his room hiding behind the wall that separated his room from the rest of the lair. He slumped down onto the floor clutching his knees, he then buried his head into them.
Everything felt odd, his legs had given out under him they felt so tingly, his cheeks were so hot you could cook an egg on thim, his hands trembled and clung to his knee pads for some form of reassurance, his stomach twisted with a million little caterpillars writhing and wriggling around and his breathe felt as if it’d been stolen for him. He tried desperately to grasp it back, gulping down air haphazardly until he started to feel nauseous.
What was going on? Why was he feeling like this? He didn’t understand this feeling, it hurt him.
There was a knock on the door frame. Casey.
“Hey Don…”
“Case-... I don’t like this”
“I know, what’s wrong? This is about what I did, isn’t it?-”
“YES-!” He shouted, his head almost cracking as it snapped to face Casey, “IT IS SOMETHING YOU DID, I DON’T KNOW WHAT BUT- you- GAH”
Casey looked shocked, eyes wide and mouth agape. But he gave a sympathetic smile to the other.
“Hey, hey. You’re okay- you’ll be okay” he awkwardly lowered himself next to Donnie, hand shakily meeting Donnie’s shoulder. He wasn’t the best at comforting people.
Donnie sniffled and flapped his hands about in front of him. Everything felt so- so overwhelming. He couldn’t explain how he felt, but it made him feel queasy, especially when Casey touched his shoulder.
“I- Casey what’s going on I don’t get it. I’m not used to this feeling.” he let out an embarrassed whine.
“I’ve already told you man, you’re flustered. Embarrassed if you will.”
Donnie looked at Casey again and let out a whine. Casey had such handsome eyes when he looked at Donnie like that, so gentle, so reassuring. How the fuck was the boy sitting next to him Casey Jones.
Donnie leaned into Casey, head falling into the curve of the other’s shoulder, his hands clasped the fabric of Casey’s band T-shirt for dear life.
“I feel like a pile of spiky mush”
“That's-...” he chuckled ” one way to put it”
“I don’t like it. But I do- What's happening? Why do I think you look so nice? Why are you so pretty when you look at me like that-”
Casey flushed, his arm wrapped around Donnie, pulled him in close.
“I don’t know Donnie. But if it helps, I think you look pretty when you look at me like this too” he smiled, he looked unnervingly confident now
“Not anymore, you look too confident now don’t get cocky ‘cause I called you pretty Case.I’m having a vulnerable moment here.” Casey laughed fully through his chest, Donnie bounced along with him, His laugh was booming and raspy, Donnie liked it.
Donnie didn't understand how he was feeling right now, but he knew he felt warm- safe- he felt something so new he didn’t have the vocabulary to properly describe it. He could get used to this feeling, this feeling of being with Casey. He won’t tell him that though. Not yet at least