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The sand was warm beneath Atsushi’s feet, tickling him as he burrows his toes into the softness, letting out a slight giggle at the sight of Dazai. Dazai had been chasing the crabs by the shore, crouching to corner the poor crustaceans, then leaping off of his feet to catch them.
“Ow!” Dazai yelps as his finger gets caught in a pincer, releasing the vengeful crab as he turns to Atsushi with a slight pout.
“I told you to leave them in peace.” Atsushi scolds, without real heat, strolling towards Dazai and inspecting the supposed injured finger. It was slightly red but had no wounds nor scratches.
“Atsushi-kun, it’s for dinner. Besides, I can’t leave the crabs alone. They’re meant to be eaten!” Dazai insists, surveying the sand once more for some hidden crabs.
“Dazai-san,” Atsushi starts, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “Those crabs aren’t even the size of my hand. They’re not meant to be eaten…”
Atsushi only lets out a laugh as Dazai slumps over dramatically, wet sand clinging to his beach shorts as he laments the tragedy. Sitting down next to Dazai, Atsushi let the ocean breeze cool his skin, smelling the tang of salt as the sound of children’s laughter droned from afar.
The sun made the water shimmer, crystalline as it moved peacefully, teasing the waves into the shore, and pulling back, leaving some shells behind. It was tranquil, almost as if being enclosed in a lullaby- a shroud of blue that stretched for miles and miles until the horizon was a silver lining by the sky.
Yokohama was right by the sea, and Atsushi had vivid memories of plunging into the cold waters, crashing with the behemoth of a ship that once sailed its skyline. The water was rigid then, freezing his bones as it sank him down. But here, in this tiny island that Dazai had brought them to, the water in Spring was soothing- coaxing.
Feeling a buzz in his pocket, Atsushi pulls out his phone to read a message. It was Kyouka-chan, greeting him with a Happy Birthday. He was about to reply when his phone was snatched from his hand, leaving his mouth agape in silent protest as Dazai smiled mischievously.
“Rule number one, phones are not allowed, Atsushi-kun. Today, we forgo technology, and finally live the island life away from the hustle bustle of the city!”
As If on cue, Dazai’s phone rings from his pocket. Without looking, Dazai shuts it off, smile never leaving his face as he tucked the devices away from sight.
“Dazai-san, what if it’s an emergency? I saw Kunikida-san’s name-“
“Nuh-uh! There is no great emergency that can take away my time with Atsushi-kun! I get to have you all to myself today. They can wait!” Dazai scoots closer to Atsushi, looking at the younger one with wiggling eyebrows, excited at the prospect of spending a whole day just lazing around with his lover.
“We are not exactly alone, though.” Atsushi says, eyes trailing towards a silver-haired figure from afar, silently sitting down by the shade all by himself.
“Technically, he’s still you. Great! I could spend the whole day with two Atsushi-kuns!” Dazai turns to wave at Nakajima , grinning as the boy shyly waves back.
Nakajima, as they have established to avoid confusion, clad in a black fur-collared coat, had appeared around midnight right by Atsushi’s bedroom, looking worried but otherwise alert. Dazai had been awake when the strange light manifested in the middle of the room, a whirling vortex siphoning from another dimension, disturbing the curtains, and jolting Atsushi awake. Atsushi was half awake then, when Nakajima jumped out of the portal, smoothly landing on the floor.
Dazai looked like he had been expecting the appearance, causally greeting Nakajima as if they were old friends, while Atsushi can only gape and rub his eyes, confused, and otherwise amazed at the sight of his own face blearily looking back at him. The other boy didn’t make much sound and only stared at Atsushi in concealed curiosity, his blank stare glossing a little once he caught sight of Dazai.
“Happy birthday, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai cheered then, grinning in amusement as two silver heads turned to look at him cutely.
They found themselves in an impromptu trip by the beach, as Nakajima had only softly requested to go here and said nothing else for the entirety of the night. He had been keeping his distance from Atsushi and Dazai, looking at them from the corner of his eyes and blushing beet red when Dazai catches his gaze and grins at him.
Atsushi had been amused at the interaction, or the lack thereof, and kept the questions all to himself for now. He had reason to think that perhaps the boy was an enemy, but he felt no malice from him- only the sorrowful torrent that seemed to boil beneath the boy’s skin.
He had trusted Dazai’s judgment, as the older man only had a carefree smile, waving away all his worries as he seemed to know just which place Nakajima wished to go to.
Atsushi should have been going in hysterics, right? It should be strange- uncanny , rather, to be looking at someone with the exact same face, exact same voice, and exact same name.
Perhaps it was the familiar curve of his brows, set in a frown as he gazes into the night, or perhaps it was the familiar loneliness surrounding Nakajima, but Atsushi found himself drawn to his twin , wanting nothing but to wrap the boy in a hug to soothe the hollowness in his chest.
When they arrived on the island, both Atsushis had been mesmerized by the sparkling water, the coconut trees, and the quaint cottage that conveniently sat near the beach. The inside was very tidy, as if it had been lived in, or carefully maintained. But there were no traces of someone else living in the cottage, and they had only met a few locals when they ventured into the small town. It was a peaceful place, the people keeping to themselves and keeping conversations short. Atsushi doesn’t know how Dazai managed to prepare all of these in such short notice, but the unplanned trip was welcomed, nonetheless.
Nakajima had a blank face, but Atsushi knew that he was restless, his spine ramrod straight and always on guard, keeping to himself just behind the pair. Atsushi had been wanting to walk by his side and include the boy in the conversation, but Nakajima only shook his head and withdrew, surveying the place from any danger.
It was like he had been trained for this. Had been trained to never lower his defenses, always on alert for any minute sign of disturbance.
Now, as they found themselves by the beach, sitting beneath the afternoon sun, Nakajima refused to play with them in the water. Atsushi’s heart hurt at the thought of the other boy isolating himself, but he had opted not to pry too much, lest he make the boy withdraw even further.
Atsushi hadn’t known much about the world beyond their own, let alone knew of his twin’s origins and journey. But he knew for a fact that they were brought together for some reason. Nothing happens randomly, and everything has a corresponding domino effect. So, he waits.
He didn’t question whatever predicament he is in right now and chose to calmly take everything that had happened with careful strides. His alarms weren’t blaring, and somehow, somewhere deep inside him, it was like he knew that this day would come. With Dazai beside him, Atsushi trusts that everything will be alright.
“Atsushi-kun, what do you think of the other Atsushi-kun?” Dazai asks as they stand ankle deep in the water, choosing to let the waves crash against their feet and watching as sand washes away from beneath them.
“… He looks exactly like me, except his bangs are tidier!” Atsushi jokes with a small laugh, Dazai joining in with a soft chuckle of his own.
“He has quite the wardrobe, huh? He didn’t want to wear the matching tiger outfit I got for both of you and insisted on wearing his shirt in this warm weather!” Dazai sighs, wanting to see a pair of tigers playing in the sand.
“He always has a far away look on his face, as if he's not really here, but stuck somewhere we couldn't reach. I don't know how he got here, Dazai-san, but you seem quite familiar with him." Atsushi added, casting a glance at Nakajima who was looking far into the open ocean.
Dazai follows his gaze, eyes squinted in thought, but his tone speaks of knowing. "Perhaps I met him in a dream."
And after a beat, he adds,“But he’s a good boy, isn’t he? Just like you!” Dazai coos, grabbing Atsushi’s hand, and proceeding to run into an oncoming wave.
Laughter broke out as they were pushed back by the water, stumbling into their feet as their hands never broke apart. They tried free diving into a deeper part of the ocean, wanting to see who can hold their breaths longer as they peeked at the various sea flora thriving below.
When they broke through the surface, Dazai was complaining that his bandages were sogging. Atsushi can only playfully roll his eyes, blinking back some water clinging on his eyelashes. They floated like that, kicking their feet lightly to stay afloat.
“Atsushi-kun?”
“Yes, Dazai-san?”
“What if there’s a shark beneath us?”
Atsushi yelps and flings himself forward, clinging on Dazai’s neck as he frightfully looks into the water. Upon noticing that nothing was lurking about, Atsushi heard Dazai trying to silence his laughs, the older’s arms wounding around his waist to keep him close.
Atsushi slaps Dazai’s arm, sulking and turning his face away. It was endearing, that sight. Entranced, Dazai commits every contour of Atsushi’s face into memory, watching as the lines meet and the angles on his face make up an angelic visage. His ears were going red, and Dazai had to fight the urge to just take a bite.
“Atsushi-kun, won’t you look at me?” Dazai asks, squeezing the boy tighter against him.
“I can’t. I have to look out for sharks!” Atsushi replies, his pout turning wobbly as he fights the urge to laugh at the silliness of it all.
“The shark has got nothing against tigers anyway! I know the valiant ATsushi-kun can protect me~ Shall we look again?” Dazai asks, prompting the other boy to look at him.
“You’re gonna trick me again!” Atsushi accuses, although flustered at Dazai’s confidence in him.
“I won’t! I won’t!”
“If I see a shark for real, I will dangle you as bait, Dazai-san.”
“With how much bandage I’m wearing, the shark is gonna choke first before it can digest me.”
Atsushi’s laughter rings out like a peal of bells, tinkering under the warm sun as he rests his forehead on Dazai’s shoulder. They both shook in laughter, and Atsushi could feel the water rippling around his waist, lapping gently on his skin.
He’d never been to the beach before, never been able to play freely on the sand and collect shells like most other kids have done. Until he joined the ADA, of course.
Their summer outings were unforgettable. As fleeting as those memories are, they stayed with him forever.
After the giggling died down, both of them sank back into the water, Dazai still holding on to Atsushi’s waist. Atsushi smiled, finding himself enjoying as they watched a school of colorful fishes swim right beneath them, twirling and swimming in beautiful choreography. It was like a show just for them, and Atsushi finds himself breathless from it.
Longing for air, Atsushi was about to move towards the surface when he was suddenly pulled back down by Dazai, interrupting his plight.
There was a moment of weightlessness, like he’d been suspended by time- unmoving as his heart worked twice as hard, beat thrice louder, skipping a beat right when his purple-golden eyes met brown. Dazai was leaning in close, and Atsushi watches- tantalized, as his wavy hair danced around his face, lazily floating.
A burst of air enters Atsushi’s mouth right then, Dazai’s hair tickling his face as their lips brushed in a tender kiss- among the seaweeds, among the corals, among the vastness of the ocean that carried the weight of their love in its gentle waves.
The saltwater couldn’t wash away the sweetness of their kiss, and like the waves, unstoppable as they crashed into the shore, the pair rushed for more.
.
.
.
“I thought tigers loved playing in the water?” Dazai suddenly muses, dropping a sliced watermelon right on Nakajima’s lap. His hair was sticking to his face, arms a little red from the sun, bearing a charming smile as he sat right in front of the younger boy.
Nakajima looked at the fruit, picking it up gently with both hands as if unsure what to do. He uttered a small “thank you”, watching carefully as Dazai gobbled the watermelon, crunching on the seeds without a care.
“…Dazai-san- the other one, once said that sharks loved to nibble on white tigers.” Nakajima replied, biting a little on the watermelon, his eyes going slightly wide as he marveled at the refreshing taste.
“Well, as a fellow Dazai-san, I’m here to revoke his statement. No white tigers will be harmed if they play in the ocean!” Dazai declares, watching as Nakajima’s eyes twinkle from the newfound information, as well as the sweet taste of the watermelon.
“Mn!” Nakajima nods, his silver fringe bouncing adorably.
“Eat up! Make sure to finish it fast or I’ll eat them all~” Dazai teases, making no further comment as Nakajima gets lost in thought once again.
His boss had mentioned a little island to him before. A place so peaceful, cozy, with a beautiful ocean surrounding its entirety. It was far from all their problems, far from all the responsibilities, far from everything Atsushi wished to run from.
Dazai Osamu had told him how he wanted to retire on that island someday, in a joking tone, because he knows he won’t be able to achieve it. But Atsushi had listened earnestly, like he always does, storing everything into his mind, silently making a checklist of all things Dazai wished to do.
It was one of those wistful conversations, when his boss seemed more human, more attuned to his emotions as they sat alone in his office, waiting for the dawn to break. Atsushi treasured all of those little moments. Because it was then that his heart had learned to hope a little, as alien as that feeling was.
It was meaningless, his boss once said, to plan such a future that he knows would never come.
“Perhaps in another world …”
Atsushi joins them shortly after, content in eating after playing in the water. His silver hair was clumping together, slightly frizzy from the salt. He eats heartily, and makes no other noise as the three of them sit watching the waves as they longed for the shore, trying to meet the land in a short embrace.
.
.
.
Atsushi waves goodbye to Dazai, watching as he walks backwards and sends flying kisses on Atsushi’s way, pouting when Atsushi pretends to dodge them all. “I demand my kisses to be received!”
Atsushi only grins, sends a giant kiss on Dazai’s way, and huffs out an amused giggle as the older one pretends to stumble from the force of it.
“Careful on the way, Dazai-san!” Atsushi calls.
“If I don’t manage to pick up a cake, we’ll just stick candles into the watermelon!” Dazai calls back, finally turning his back to walk into the direction of the town.
Atsushi goes back inside the cottage, going straight for the couch where Nakajima sat. The pair looked at each other, blinking once, then twice. Then as if in sync once more, a soft smile graces both of their faces.
There were so many things that they both wished to say to each other, but neither knew where to begin- knowing that it would be endless.
“You’re very lucky, you know…” Nakajima starts, voice small as he picks on an imaginary lint on his pants.
Atsushi tilts his head, turning his body to give full attention to his twin. It was the first time that they had sat face to face without Dazai, testing the barriers setting them apart, and finding that no such thing exists.
“You seem…unafraid to live.” Nakajima continues, smiling in amazement as he regards Atsushi with a genuine look.
Atsushi looks down on his lap, fiddling with his gloves before replying. “I was scared to even breathe before. It felt like me being born was a-“
“-mistake.” Nakajima finished for him, a forlorn smile making its way to his face as understanding flashed in both their eyes. An understanding that can only come from one’s own self.
“I was so lost. Running in circles and going through endless self-pity. I didn’t belong anywhere. I was basically a rag that got thrown out. I thought I was better off dead in a ditch.” Atsushi's voice was a quiet whisper, yet his words rang loudly among the quiet hum of the fan, drowning the sound of the ocean clamoring to touch on land.
Nakajima gazes into those vibrant purple-golden eyes, feeling warmth seep in his chest at the strange connection he had with Atsushi. Essentially, they should be the same person, right? But there were nuances coloring their souls.
“But you’ve earned the right to live, Nakajima Atsushi. Rightfully so.” Nakajima adds. “You still have your Dazai-san, and a loving home to return to. You've found a reason to keep on living the way you want to. You've found your place in this world."
"And who’s to say that the same could not happen to you? I believe there is still happiness for you." Atsushi says, chest squeezing tightly with so much hope and conviction, even if he was talking to a vessel.
Hollow and empty, the words echoed within Nakajima's head and got repelled by the tremendous hopelessness he had been born with.
"Atsushi, I am happy for you. But I'm just living through my days, aimlessly. Running in circles like you once were. Unlike you, I have nowhere else to go back to. Not anymore."
Nakajima looked down on his lap, nodding to himself as if he believed his own words, accepting them wholeheartedly so he could keep himself from hoping for something better awaiting him.
This chance of seeing Dazai-san and Atsushi from another world, was a miracle to him. He was grateful, truly, that somewhere in a different life, they were together and happy. That somewhere in a different life, they didn't have to part.
He’d been watching them closely, enthralled by their easy conversation, lingering touches, and gentle kisses shared when they thought he wasn’t paying attention.
There was a slight twinge in his chest, a mixture of longing and resignation. He doesn’t belong here either, and he had no intention of staying, anyway. He is misplaced here. A tiger paddling fruitlessly in an ocean that refused to carry him across.
But he felt happy- a small flower blooming in his chest bashfully, taking root and unfurling within. It was like a knot had unraveled in his heart, releasing a bit of the pressure that's been building up. He wasn't a complete wreck after all! One of his existences has served a purpose. Had a chance at happiness. Had a bright future ahead of him.
Who knows when he'll be sent back to his own world? It could be tomorrow, or it could be any minute now. But he refuses to leave without at least saying…
"I'm glad my wish came true.You're living a happy life right now… and that is enough for me." Nakajima flashes Atsushi a bright smile, amidst the shimmering of his unshed tears, lips curved in a beautiful arc.
Atsushi's nose stung with the oncoming tears, but he swallowed them down, giving back a smile just as blinding. His heart hurt so much thinking about everything Atsushi could have gone through. His path to happiness was not that easy, and even now, he still slips to a downward spiral from time to time. But Dazai was right there with him, holding his hand through it all. But Atsushi … He bears everything on his own- and he could see it on the way his shoulder drooped, how his breaths grow weary.
"I'm glad we got to meet each other, even for such a short time. Please know that I will always be with you, just as you will always be with me…" Atsushi wraps his arms around Atsushi , relishing in the warm embrace, stifling a sob as he feels the other's arms wrap around him too. “When you look in the mirror, you’ll find that I am right there, gazing back at you. You won’t be alone .”
“Please live a long, happy life in my stead.”
“It will be alright, Atsushi . It will be alright…”
Just like the hands of a clock, you will find your place again after going around in circles.
…
In the end, they didn't stick a candle in the watermelon, thankfully. Dazai was able to buy a bento cake, purple like the sunset sky outside, sprinkled with a little bit of gold. The older man had found them exchanging stories by the time he got back, a fond look softening his eyes as he watched the two get along.
Although the cake was small, it didn't matter to both Atsushis as they blew on the lone candle, while Dazai merrily sang the happy birthday song in the background.There were no banners and balloons, but the atmosphere was still festive as Nakajima joined in on the fun, offering his delicate laughs.
"Happy birthday, Atsushi-kuns! My wish is for you to let me squish you in a hug!"
Dazai engulfs the both of them within his arms, bringing the three of them to a huddle as the two get plastered on Dazai’s side. Squished, but otherwise warm, the trio held on for dear life. If only it could be like this forever…
At the sound of a stomach growling, the three broke apart in melodious laughter.
“Let’s slice the cake!” Atsushi cheers and hands a butterknife to Nakajima, slicing the tiny cake together. Dazai took it upon himself to feed them with the chocolate chiffon, patting their silver heads as they munched happily.
“Thank you, Dazai-san!” Both Atsushis chorused, much to Dazai’s delight as he basks in the gratitude and giddiness. .
“Oh, but I still haven’t given you my gift though!” Dazai smiles, silently counting to three until he hears a knock on the door.
They turned their heads toward the sound, wondering who could be knocking on the door at this time around. Dazai only took a big bite out of the cake, before saying, “I think that’s the gift, Atsushi-kun!”
“I’ll go get it.” Nakajima replied, instantly alert for anything strange as he volunteered to check.
Atsushi casts a glance to Dazai, meeting the other's smile of reassurance as his heart starts beating in anticipation. There was something out there that set his soul alight.
As Nakajima walks towards the door, his heart suddenly picks up its pace, restlessly fluttering. His hand shook as he turned the knob, wound tight with anticipation. His nerves were burning right beneath his skin, coming alive as he opened the door to face whoever was on the other side.
"Sorry for being late!" The voice that greeted him was charming, lilting with that familiar tone that had accompanied him in the darkest of nights, breaking through the fog whenever his senses got clouded with so much weakness.
Nakajima Atsushi stood in the doorway, gazing at the figure illuminated by the porch light- tall and willowy, clad in a dark overcoat that made his silhouette stretch into the room. Atsushi did not blink, for fear that the illusion would break- dissipate into the night air and be blown away by the ocean breeze.
Everything else didn’t matter, everything else was turned into a flurry of shapes around him, losing all meaning, losing all coherence.. Atsushi felt like he had been thrown into a dream, falling endlessly in a sky devoid of clouds, where his trail burns a path of stardust as he falls.
One by one, his tears started falling, unstoppable in their descent as he stared, and stared- willing the universe to release him from this cruel joke.He was dreaming, right? He had only seen Dazai in his dreams, where they both lived on a tiny island, away from the urgency of the city, where the trees were a strange blue color, and the sky was made of emerald.
“D-dazai-san?” Atsushi stutters,still unbelieving as he waits for the moment that he wakes up, devastated beyond repair.
“I’m home.” Dazai says, taking a step so he can cup the boy’s face in his hands, catching tears that seemed to burn right through his thumbs. They were fiery, sharp, and brimming with so much pain.
It felt like a whole eternity when they stared at each other, but it had only been a moment when their eyes met. Feeling his feet leave the ground, Atsushi wastes no more time to throw himself on Dazai ’s waiting arms, drowning himself in the other’s scent- sobbing his heart out in painful wrenches.
Grasping him tightly , Dazai held Atsushi close, melding their bodies together as he exhaled shakily, squeezing his eyes shut as he murmured assurances on his Atsushi ’s ears.
“I’m right here, Atsushi-kun. I’m here. I’m not going away again…” Dazai presses a kiss on Atsushi’s head, feeling a momentary helplessness as the younger one only shakes his head, still not trusting his sanity as he allowed himself to cry freely.
“Y-you can’t be real-! But even so,please don’t leave me again…”
Atsushi’s broken pleads were halted when Dazai separated them for a bit, head tilted down so he could look at the younger one better. His eyes were desperate, betraying his sorrow as his larger hands grasped Atsushi’s, prying his palm open.
He needs Atsushi to see that he is real.
Gentle, as delicate as a butterfly’s wings, Dazai places Atsushi’ s hand on his chest- right where a heart is roaring within. He keeps it there, pressing it closely as if he wishes for those hands to plunge right through.
“Feel that, Atsushi-kun? You will know that this is real, because it beats in time with yours.”
There was no mistake, no denial. Dazai’s heart beat wildly beneath Atsushi’s touch, calling out his name repeatedly.
Was there a god after all? Who heard his wishes, who heard his prayers, who heard his sobs? Was there a god after all? Who listened to his bargains, who listened to his begging, who listened to his yearnings?
Or were his cries just loud enough? Loud enough to awaken the dead, his ragged voice reaching far beyond space.
“Dazai-san!” Atsushi sobs even more now, overcome with so much emotion as he grows limp in Dazai ’s hold, akin to a marionette with its strings cut. The tension had fully unraveled in itself, replaced by a stream of relief, and an endless torrent of happiness that surged like the waves, rising and rising until it toppled over into a heap of tears.
It was real. Dazai is here with him, holding him, talking to him- breathing-
Existing.
"Yes, Atsushi-kun, it's me. It's me!"
Atsushi’ s tears fell rapidly as he felt the pulse beneath his palm, drumming to the sound of his teardrops falling in succession by the ground.
He raises his arm to cradle Dazai’s face in his hands, and through the haze of his vision, he can trace the way the corners of Dazai’s mouth curved upwards in a smile, his brown eyes growing watery.
Dazai nuzzled against Atsushi ’s hand, wrapping his larger hand on Atsushi ’ s smaller one as they both took in the other’s presence, savoring the warm touch of their skin.
“I understand if you resent me, Atsushi-kun. I don’t think I even have the right to be around you, let alone hold you. But I had to see you once again, cause I am selfish.” Dazai professes, knowing that his words will never make up for the pain he had ever caused.
Atsushi cries harder, lips trembling as he says, “There’s no way I could ever resent you. You were the only one I wished to see even at the end of my life.”
And there it was, the truth of it all. Dazai knew it would be better if Atsushi had forsaken him- cursed him to the ends of the earth. Maybe he could finally pay for how much he had wronged him, and could finally succumb to hell with finality. It would have been far easier if Atsushi had hated him…
But the boy had chosen, time and time again, to forgive him. To free him.
Atsushi has always been his salvation.
Dazai does not deserve any of this. He doesn’t deserve a second chance of seeing and holding Atsushi again. He does not deserve to even receive a tiny bit of the boy’s affections...But he was a selfish man through and through. And even if he was undeserving,he’ll hold on to every moment, every path that takes him back to his beloved.
He’ll work hard, harder than he has ever done in his life, to prove that the love he can give, can be worthy of Atsushi ’ s love.
Dazai pulls Atsushi closer, burying his face on the other's silver hair, trying to contain the shaking of his voice as he says, "You have all the right to hate me. Curse me. Condemn me. But please let me earn the right to stay by your side…"
“ Then I’ll be in your care… ” Atsushi hugs him tighter in response, saying nothing more as his heart settles. After a long while of running around in circles, he was back from where he started. Back to where he should have been.
Right here in each other’s embrace, they have found solace once more. No more detours, for there was nowhere to run to, not when their place belonged by each other’s side. Within them, the love they held was as vast as the sky, unreachable by no one else.
Atsushi ’s heart may have lain in pieces by the floor, but the shards have all gathered together now. Like how he had seen in his dreams, Dazai was there to pick them all up, piecing them together with patience, repairing the cracks with one gentle sweep of his hand.
All the pain of separation felt like a whole lifetime ago.
Dazai rests his forehead against Atsushi ’s, closing his eyes shut as the wetness on his lids finally rolls down after being held back for so long.
“Happy birthday, Atsushi-kun. Thank you for being born...”