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It's been a long ass couple of days. All Simon wants to do is just lay down and pretend to sleep so everyone can leave him alone. He doesn't feel like answering anymore questions. He doesn't feel like stuffing the worries of his squad mates getting injured in the darkest place of his mind. He doesn't feel like dealing with anymore of Shepherd's bullshit. He's just over it--for the time being before he gets back to the title he was given for his years of hard work.
Unfortunately, that's not how life works and he is team leader after all. Mission after the next. Not even bothering to unpack his duffel bag. He doesn't even know how he kept his head from spinning after all this time.
"Aye, g'mornin, sir"
Ah, that's what.
He hums in response to his boyfriend, the same man that crept his cheeky way up to him. Unbeknownst to him his muscles are a lot less tense than a few seconds ago. His breathing is more stable and he feels a small sense of home...relaxation. Comfort.
"I imagine you had the best sleep of ya life, eh?" John blows on the surface of the black coffee he whipped up in a matter of minutes
"You know I don't sleep." Simon leaned against the wall next to the table with morning drinks, not yet turning his attention to John intentionally
"Yeah, that's because I'm not there to hold you close and run my fingers through that shag you call hair"
This made Simon finally shift his gaze to the man next to him, smirking into his self-accomplished sipping of his hot drink
"I'm just messin'. We can tangle legs too."
"If you can reach 'em" Simon looks back to the other side of the cafe in attempt to not have his heart rate raise any more than it has.
"What are you two lovebirds on about this morning?" Kyle says walking out the lunch line with a protein bar and a bottled orange juice
"We were debating if Price is an ass or tits type of lad" John responds without an ounce of hesitation or thought put into his words. Simon mentally facepalms while Kyle makes a thinking expression
"Tits for sure" Kyle says after giving it real thought
"I was thinkin' more of an ass man like myself. He seems to enjoy butt slaps a wee bit too much"
This conversation continued for another 5 minutes before they asked him to see which side would win
"If either of you think I'm participating in this you're drunk."
"C'mon it's just one word. Ass or tits?" Kyle tries to persuade the immovable man to his left
Simon sighs and realizes they're not ever going stop asking for as long as he lives.
"...Ass." Simon says crossing his arms and rolling his eyes, clearly visible through his all black balaclava. John celebrates with an "I told you so" immediately leaving his lips.
"That's what I'm sayin'! Price obviously appreciates both as much as the next guy but...he knows where the goods are!," John took another sip, surveying the cafeteria before continuing, "Speak of the devil"
"Good, you lot are already here. You three plus four more of our men are getting deployed to Uzbekistan and departure is at 0700 hours. Copy?"
The trio agrees in unison before Kyle speaks up
"What about you, sir?"
"Ah, I'll be neck deep in paperwork, you guys'll be fine though. The team's got three of the best on it after all, no?" Price replies then heads back in the direction of his office
Kyle and John get to talking again, but Simon's mind is going ballistic. As usual, he's solid stone and non reactionary when it comes to things like this. He's also used to this by now, obviously, but it can get tiring most of the time if not all the time.
John can easily sense this. To literally anybody else Simon is unreadable, immovable, and cold. But John sees right through him. Even the slightest shift in his demeanor is a ringing alarm to him. It's why he didn't foolishly ask if Simon is okay, because he knows damn well what he would answer with and know even more that it's not his real answer.
Simon can't get the thought of just running to him whenever he has a minor inconvenience. Curling up in a ball in his bed so he can forget about the horrors of his past missions. Or even burying his face in John's chest when he can't shake his past failures. He just wants to run away sometimes. He's aware of his duties and grew to accept what he does after seeing what they don't mention in those commercials, but a man as solid and on point as he is can get worn out too.
-
Everybody is back from Uzbekistan safe and sound, just a few injuries here and there. As for Simon, he hid a minor injury from John. In his defense, he wasn't aware of the internal bruising in his arm, but he refused to acknowledge the spikes of pain that would show up at random times of the day after the intense capture and rescue mission on the border.
He knew it wouldn't be a piece of cake. Though, taking out the majority of the organized forces wasn't as hard, having to jump out of a six story building before a bomb blew the place to bits was certainly not expected by anybody. Not even the intel.
[Flashback]
"Soap," Ghost turns up his walkie and continues to give him orders, "Head north, the hostages keep getting moved to higher floors in the building. We're going to make our way up to the roof and swoop in from there. How copy?"
"Solid. Already two steps ahead of ya, Lt. I almost triggered at least three tripwires so I had to move forward a bit. Hope that's alright with ya. Over" Soap responds as he scales the side and starts to attach the rope
"Whatever makes this go faster and those hostages get out alive. I'm on my way to you and Alpha-3. Over."
They successfully get in and sweep the hallways before reaching the remaining hostages in a large room full of boxes. Soap went back outside to keep watch and Ghost kept an eye on the hallway while the other went in.
"Found 'em! Also, what the fuck are all these boxes for?" he says over the mic. A woman in the corner was trying to say something but there was something in her mouth, muffling her speech. He quickly walks over and takes it out, comforting her for a short moment so he could scan the room for the rest of the hostages with how oddly the boxes were set up
"We have to get out of here!"
"We're working on that ma'am. Can you point out where the other hostages are? I don't want to accidentally trigger something in this room."
"I don't know! We were blindfolded up until a strange man came in here and took it off of me, I don't know about the rest! He may have taken some of them...But listen, there's a few bombs within these boxes and I don't know which ones it is! We must leave, please!!"
"Alpha-3 what's the hold up?" Soap says manning overwatch in the roof
"The woman says there are bombs within these boxes and has no knowledge of the other hostages or of which boxes have them. I'm gonna try to maneuver through with her and send her out there with you two. Over."
"Copy. Do you see anybody else in the room?" Ghost asks, peeking in the room with his pistol at his hip
"That's what I'm looking for now...Ma'am, are sure they just left you here alone?"
"No...You will perish to the gates of hell!"
The woman pushed him into the pile of boxes, opening a small door in the floor and jumping into it.
"Shit! Ghost, Soap, this is a trap! We have to get out right fuckin' now!" He says in a panic as he kept frantically pushing empty boxes off his body, crawling to the door he came in from
Ghost's eyes widened as he looked in the room for the remaining man on the team,
"Come on, soldier! Grab my hand!"
Successfully, Ghost dragged him out the room and headed towards the door to the roof. To all three of their demise, the chain of bombs on each floor already started to go off.
"The fuckin' knob's jammed! Out the window now!"
And from there, he was able to jump and hit the ground without breaking all his bones. However, he did land on his arm before rolling to break the pressure of the fall. Adrenaline did it's thing by having him not feel the muscles tense up on impact. But as soon as he got on that plane back, the pain only felt worse from there.
[End of flashback]
Fortunately, everyone thought to go back to their rooms and unpack, so this gave Simon the opportunity to slip into the infirmary without all the fuss from everybody. Everybody being John, his very worrisome boyfriend.
Six hours later, Simon lies on his hard mattress with a bandage on his upper left arm and strong pain killers sitting on his night stand. All he cant think about is whatever the hell just happened in less than 24 hours. How didn't he see this coming? Why does he feel responsible for this? As many times as everyone reassured the team, he can't help but feel immense guilt.
Were there ever any hostages? Was the whole thing a set up? If there were, why did they get to survive and not those innocent people? Why did that stupid door happen to be jammed, resulting in a fucked up arm?! Yes, it's just a big bruise, but it hurts like a bitch!
He laid there restless. Even with his eyes closed his eyebrows furrowed and his brain was on 10. He stood up and left his room, aiming to go splash water on his face in the bathroom to keep him grounded. That is until he walked past a familiar Scottish man's room, assuming he's sound asleep by now since his light isn't on.
'I wonder if he's thinking the same things right now. How can he sleep after that? Lucky bastard...' He thought
Simon was about to just go back to his original mission when he noticed the door was creaked ever so slightly. His body froze while his mind was racing.
'GO IN THERE'
'But he's sleeping, don't bother him'
'You can't bother your own significant other!'
'He's too stressed to deal with you right now.'
His thoughts were jumbled with a bunch of back and forth. He finally decides, fuck it, he can't even sleep anyway.
Unless he's holding John.
The door makes a slight creak sound as Simon steps in, a wave of false confidence suddenly filling him. He closed the door behind him and crept over to the bed, not wanting to startle the man sleeping peacefully.
"Johnny? You up?"
"Yeah, there an issue?"
"No. Just...wanted to sleep here."
"'That so? Didn't peg ya as a cuddler, Lt."
When Simon slowly wrapped his arm around him, he came to notice tightly wrapped gauze on his lover's arm. He didn't want to bring it up right away though.
"Tell me if this makes you uncomfortable." Simon says right behind his ear
"It's all good, sir. Nothin' to worry about. Is this some kind of sleep tour you're doing? Is everybody getting this special treatment?" John knows damn well Simon wouldn't even think about sleeping with anybody else. Single or not. But he likes to tease, and be wanted to hear him say it.
"No...Just you."
A small moment of silence came over the both of them for a bit,
"...It's Uzbekistan, isn't it" John carefully turns over, mindful of the injured arm that was just on him.
"It's everything. Staying in my room all alone...I hate it. I keep remembering all kinds of fucked up old shit I want to forget. And that mission just added another thing bury in a couple days. So i ran here, like a coward...Just let me be pathetic and selfish for tonight."
If their eyes weren't locked before, this is the most they've been in a long time.
"Will you allow me to be a little selfish and pathetic too?" John cups the blonde's cheek, getting a better look at the expression on Simon's face. A rare beauty, as he calls it.
"Go ahead..." Simon says leaning into his touch. This is all he wanted. It's all he ever wanted to feel.
Safe.
"Thank you, sir" John says leaning in and giving the other a short, but meaningful kiss on the lips
"You wanna talk about the bandage?"
Simon grumbles and buries his face in the crook of his neck, "In the morning."
John chuckles and wraps his free arm under Simon's, rubbing his back and sighing in adoration
"You got it, sir"