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“Ren, hurry up. It’s about to start!”
Hifumi pulled her eyes away from the television, trying her best to ignore the catchy jingle of the current advertisement in the hope it wouldn’t wedge itself into her head.
She caught sight of her husband giving a vague wave over his shoulder as he continued working in the kitchen.
“Can’t rush good coffee, Star.”
If he had noticed her narrowed eyes at this response he didn’t let it show.
“While I agree, don’t you think it’s a little late for coffee?”
Ren leant back and peered at the nearest clock.
“Star, it’s nine thirty. Since when did that become late?’
Hifumi turned back to the television, casting her eyes over the selection of family photographs scattered across the furnishings.
“Right after we had the second child and we found out they BOTH shared your tendency towards late night activities and didn’t want to let their poor mother sleep.”
Her husband chuckled under his breath then walked out of the kitchen to join her, his brewing done.
“Your hot chocolate, my lady.”
He handed a mug to her before sliding into the seat of the couch beside her.
She watched him sip his coffee with a frown.
“In all seriousness, you really do need to start cutting back on the coffee, Ren. You’re not working at Leblanc anymore, and no more late nights for exams or… extracurricular activities. There's such a thing as a leathal dose. I don’t want you accidentally caffeinating yourself into an early grave.”
“I’ll be fine, Besides, Remember my last Physical. Tae said she was surprised how healthy I was.”
He settled back in the seat and smiled at her.
She set her own cup down on the table and frowned back at him.
“I believe Dr Takemi’s exact wording was “I’m amazed he’s still alive.”
Ren shrugged.
“Same difference.”
She pursed her lips at his response. Then settled back on the couch next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Just so you know, I’m never going to forgive you if you have a heart attack and make me face all these parent teacher meetings alone. If things keep going the way they are it’s going to take both of us in shifts to cover them all.”
He leant over and kissed the top of her head.
“You worry too much, my love. But if it’s that important to you, I’ll start cutting back on the evening coffee. Besides, if I stop showing up to the principal’s office he’ll think I’ve been whacked.”
Hifumi tried not to laugh.
“Well we shouldn’t worry him any more than necessary. He has a lot on his plate.” She settled back into the chair and turned her attention back to the latest round of advertisements. “Is it just me, or do these ad breaks keep getting longer?”
“Patience, Star, patience. Throne of Games will return shortly.” He sipped his cup and grinned down at her. “And you then can get back to ogling Commander tight pants and his troops.”
There was a snort from his wife.
“I would have thought you’d be better at this by now, General Amamiya. Captain Bodice-ripper is a little too romance novel for my liking. I’m leaving him for Haru and Ann.”
“Oh? Who’s my current competition then? The wise older councillor? Drunk playboy princeling?” He paused, then turned to her, eyes widening. “Surely not the dwarf!”
Hifumi sipped her chocolate and ignored his faux outrage.
“Of course not. Like you don’t know my type by now.”
He considered as he sipped his coffee.
“Ah, the masked spy who just happens to share a haircut and actor with Princeling’s innocuous servant?”
Hifumi didn’t look at him, but her lips twitched into a smile.
“As if you didn’t already know. Give that actor some glasses and steal his hair gel and you could almost use him as a mirror.”
Ren pouted and tried to catch his reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall.
“I really don’t see the resemblance at all myself.”
She rewarded him with a generous amount of side-eye.
“Oh really, a hero by night, wears a mask, steals hearts… Indiscriminate threat to every available maiden’s chastity?” She sipped her drink. “Sure that’s not ringing any bells?”
He crossed his arms at this and looked affronted.
“Hey! I will have you know I am very particular about my maidens.” He tweaked her nose and turned her head to face him as she laughed. “And I happen to have my chastity quota filled for the moment.” He leant in to kiss her.
“What’s chastity?” A sleepy voice asked from the hallway.
They froze, and Ren turned to the doorway from the living room where a small girl with unruly black hair and bear pyjamas was looking at him sleepily.
He sighed at the ongoing trials of being a parent.
“Something you don’t need to worry about for at least, oh, Ten years or so, Twinkle.”
The girl gave him a pout she’d inherited from her mother. He tried not to smile.
“Five years.” Hifumi cut in sipping her beverage, looking tired.
Ren gave this response a surprised look.
“Five years?”
“That is a gate that must be shut WELL before the horse bolts.”
There was a short conversation between them that seemingly consisted of head tilts and eyebrow semaphore.
“Five years.” He reluctantly conceded, looking far more tired himself.
The girl eyed this parental exchange sleepily, then the confusion slid from her face and she grimaced.
“Oh, ecchi stuff. Ugh.”
At this Ren snorted and ruffled her hair affectionately.
“And I sorry to say it’s not even the fun ecchi stuff.”
Hifumi nudged him to get him back on track.
“Putting all that aside. YOU should be in bed, miss, you have school tomorrow and at least some of it hasn’t caught on fire yet.” He received another nudge in the ribs. “That in no way needs to change of course.” He conceded to her. ‘What’s up, Twinkle? Or more specifically, why are you?”
His daughter pulled the ratty stuffed animal she had inherited from her mother into a tighter hug and looked worried.
“There’s something under my bed.”
He cast a considering look down the hallway towards his daughters room.
“Really? What are we talking? Something that sounds like scratching, something that sounds like the wind or the something that was most definitely just Morgana?”
His daughter pouted at him again.
“Mona shouldn’t had been under my bed anyway. He’s a bad kitty.”
“He was trying to help. He won’t make that mistake again… After you grabbed his tail and threw him out the window, anyway, what woke you, Twinkle?’
“I saw its eyes in the mirror. It was a real monster.”
He looked down into the trembling girl's eyes. So certain something was there nothing short of a full investigation would calm her.
Ren sighed then climbed to his feet.
“Then I’ll go and deal with it. Hifumi, you’ll be here to protect Mayumi if it gets past me, right?” He winked at her then turned and headed down the hallway to his daughters room.
“Can do.”
Hifumi pulled her daughter onto her lap and put her arm around her.
“And while your father is doing his part you can tell me exactly where you heard the term “Ecchi” young lady?”
The girl snuggled down in her arms sleepily.
“From ‘Taba.”
“I might have guessed.”
She sighed and frowned across the room at the television which had finally finished its advertisements and started playing the theme of the show they’d been waiting on. She quickly hit mute and settled back to entertain her daughter.
Against all odds there was in fact something under the girls’ bed that night.
Because of course there is a monster under the bed, because if enough people believe it, it’s got to be true… sooner or later.
It was nothing big, nor powerful. Nothing like that would be content to tap the trickle of power that this little mental space afforded. But neither was there any malice in it. It just knew its place in the world, and it would fulfil it to the letter.
It waited quietly as the door shut and footsteps padded across the room and someone settled back onto the bed.
And it watched.
Until its eyes caught a tiny movement on the lip of the bed. A hint that the person above had dared to let its hands slip from the safety of the covers and over the edge and into its territory, and it reached out its long, cold fingers to brush the fingertip that waved ahead of it.
All according to the script so far.
Right up to the part where the trailing hand turned at the speed of a striking snake and yanked it from beneath the bed with a strength that it could not resist leaving it dangling a foot above the floor until its random twisting turned it to face the figure on the bed.
“You know, just once I wish it was the house settling.”
The man on the bed hadn’t looked up from the rectangle of light that lit his face.
“I mean, we have neighbours, we’re on the fourth floor here. One of these days it’s got to be just someone making a late night coffee.” He sighed dramatically. “And not another one of YOU.”
He now looked up from the phone in his hand and focused on the thing he held captive. It seemed to be composed mostly of eyes and arms, with only a tiny body with stumpy little legs to hold everything together. The creature tried to be inconspicuous and failed.
The man raised an eyebrow at the attempt.
“Are you done?”
The creature did its best not to look embarrassed as he continued.
“Now, I’ve done my research. Apparently manifestations such as yourself are vital to the healthy operation of the collective psyche.” He tapped a button to lock the phone. “And I appreciate that, I really do. Keeping your side of this whole…” He gestured vaguely with his phone. “System. Running smoothly is important to me. I’ve had enough experience of what happens when things go off the rails to really not want it to happen again. Apparently smashing the whole thing to pieces and letting it restart is ‘Not an option’, ‘Criminally dangerous’ and I’m to ‘Never, EVER do that again'.”
He began flipping the phone in his hand around. Twirling and spinning it around his fingers. Seemingly without though.
“But while I’m no longer ‘Permitted’ to do things my way, I am encouraged to follow the script wherever possible. And the parent’s role in this is pretty well known.”
The phone in his hand flipped up like a fish, turning end over end and dropping back into his hand.
“To be truthful, I’m not exactly a model parent, I know that.” He continued conversationally to thing dangling from his hand. “And that girl of mine is certainly not making things easy. Do you know how many times we’ve been called into the school this year?”
The creature decided its best option was to shake its head.
“Six, and not one of them something she actually did wrong. She refuses to let an injustice stand. I blame myself. Do you have children?”
The confused creature shook it head again and surreptitiously attempted to free its hand. Ren politely waited for it to finish and continued.
“Where was I? Oh yes, as a role model I’m still a work in progress… but dealing with monsters under the bed? I’ve got that down.”
Somehow, between going up and coming down the phone had been replaced with a large, ornate blade.
“It’s like weeding, you know? Got to keep the garden tidy if you want the right things to grow. But just like weeding it seems every time I prune the undesirable, there is more growing before I can turn around… So I figure this time we’re going to try things a different way.”
In one movement he stood and flung open the window. The creature dangled over the long fall and tried to climb its own arm.
“If I keep creating openings… for your position.” He spun the knife lazily around a finger. “It seems they just get filled and I keep having to do this over and over again.” He lazily drew circles with the tip of the knife in front of the creature’s eyes. “Not that I really mind too much. I kind of like when Twinkle comes to me for help.” He smiled wistfully out the window and flipped the knife into the air. “But you’re scaring her, and disturbing her sleep and I will not stand for that.” The creature dangling from his hand tried to look smaller. “So in the interests of sorting this once and for all, how about you crawl back into whatever hole in the Metaverse you came out of and pass on that we don’t need your services here. Get the point?”
The knife dropped into his hand, pointed directly between the things' eyes.
“Because if you don’t get that point I’ve got another here that I can guarantee you will, and maybe the next guy along will be quicker on the uptake.”
The creature looked into his eyes and nodded worriedly.
Ren smiled.
“Good. I knew you were a smart one.” He flipped the knife into the air and unceremoniously deposited the creature on the window sill and gestured at the ivy on the wall of the building. “That goes all the way down, I assume you can let yourself out.”
He turned at walked back into the dark room. The creature peered over the edge of the window sil and tried to judge the best way down.
“Oh…” Ren's voice floated out of the darkness.
The creature froze, expecting to hear the swing of the knife at any moment.
Instead there was the sound of a door opening, a brief burst of activity and a second monster, this one with a small squat body, a huge mouth and a very confused expression dropped onto the window ledge next to it.
“That goes double for your friend in the closet. Don't prove me wrong. You won't enjoy the result.”
And the window slammed shut.
The creatures looked at each other worriedly as his footsteps faded then the squat one shrugged and, after making sure Ren was gone, tried the window.
“I don’t recommend doing that.” A voice came from above.
The creatures looked up startled at the black and white cat laying on top of the window frame.
“He was uncharacteristically restrained today. His usually response to people worrying his family is more…”
The cat dropped to the window sill next to them and drew the equivalent of a thumb across his throat.
“Drastic.”
The cat yawned, then stretched.
“But as it's your lucky night, and since you two are currently out of a job, can I recommend you try over there?” The cat pointed across the street to a slightly ajar window. “There is a kid that lives in that house in need your services. He has a bad attitude and a tendency to throw rocks at cats.” It yawned again. “And as a bonus his parents don’t believe in monsters.”
There was a brief consultation between the creatures then they bowed to the cat and headed to the ivy.
“Oh and before you consider coming back…”
They turned and the cat grinned at them.
“Even if you sneak past her dad, you wait until you see her fairy godmother.”
The cat turned at sprang to another window ledge.
“She has a chainsaw.”
“Right, All clear! Nothing left under there other than dust.”
Ren rounded the corner, caught sight of the living room and paused.
His wife looked up from her book and held her finger to her smiling lips. Then looked down to where her daughter was sleeping with her head on her lap.
He smiled back.
“I thought she’d still be too keyed up to fall asleep.” He said softly, then walked over and gently picked up Mayumi to carry her to bed. She stirred fitfully, then nestled down into his arms and returned to her slumber.
Hifumi winked at him.
“Her father told her he’d deal with it. It's the same reason I'm reading rather than worrying. We know you had the problem solved and we're safe.” She then turned her attention back to the novel she’d been reading as he carried his daughter out.
After gently settling his daughter in bed, checking on his sleeping son (and making doubly sure nothing had snuck back in) he made his way back to the living room and went to join his wife on the couch.
“Uh uh!” He looked at Hifumi who was pointing at the wall still reading her book.
He rolled his eyes and walked over to the Wall of family photographs and, in its space under an engraved war fan, he hung his dagger up next to his ornate pistol.
“Didn’t think you noticed this time, Star.”
Hifumi slid a bookmark into her novel and closed it.
“It’s the first place I look when you’re up to something. It lets me know if we’re in for regular trouble, or if I need to watch the news for related incidents. Is Sou-kun still asleep?”
“Snoring his little head off. That boy could sleep through the end of the world.”
He walked back and sat quietly down on the couch and sat there with his chin on his hands.
After noting his uncharacteristic silence she put her hand on his.
“You’re quiet, that’s a worry. Did this one cause you problems?”
Ren shrugged.
“No, it’s just…” He turned and smiled at her wistfully. “When did she get so big?”
He leant back and traced the patterns on the ceiling with his eyes.
“When she first came home I barely needed both hands to hold her. Now…” He gestured vaguely.
His wife smiled in response.
“Must have been sometime in the last 8 years…” she set her book down on the coffee table. “Although I think I blinked last week and she grew at least a few inches."
Hifumi leant her head on his shoulder.
“I don’t know why you’re the one worried. At least she’ll still look up to you. She’s going to be taller than me any day now.”
“It will give you someone else to get things off high shelves for you, I might be able to retire.”
Hifumi smiled gently.
“Feeling old, are we, General Amamiya?”
“A bit.” He admitted.
“Well I wouldn’t worry. You've got a good few years before that, and Mayumi will always be her Daddy’s Little Girl, no matter how old and grey he gets. And, speaking from experience, I can tell you even if I don’t have my father checking under the bed for me anymore. I still have everything he taught me to guide my steps when I need him.”
Ren slid his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her. She smiled.
Then he cocked an eyebrow as he finished parsing her last comment.
“Hang on! Old and grey?” he proded her with an offended tone.
“You’re just going to end up look distinguished and I'll need to chase off a bunch of teenagers with daddy issues.”
He laughed and hugged her. Then they sat for a moment in silence. Then Ren shook off his mood.
“Right, well I’m done being introspective for tonight. So, what did I miss on the show?” Ren asked.
His wife rolled her eyes at his change of topic.
“Did you forget you left our little lady with me? A large part of that program is NOT suitable for children. I turned it off.”
“Wasn’t she asleep?”
“Eventually. I tried leaving it on at first, it was fine when Captain broody showed up, then the drunk prince was… well, drunk and disorderly, and the sassy dwarf wasn’t much of an issue. But then once Mr Spy showed up with a couple of…young ladies I thought it would be better if we didn’t have that talk without you.”
Ren winced and conceded the point.
“Meh, we can always catch up on a replay later. I’m sure nothing major will happen without us.”
He reached over to his rapidly cooling coffee cup and took a sip while Hifumi picked up her novel and curled back up against him reading.
“Just five years, huh?” Ren said, cradling his cup.
Hifumi turned a page in her book.
“Maybe less. She’s a girl, Ren, there is certain biological necessities that keep their own timetables for us. Besides, you’re used to working with surprise deadlines. I’m sure you’ll rise to the occasion.”
Some time later.
The creature under the bed crouched motionless, listening to the voices from the hallway ready to hide if anyone came its way. It had grown older and wiser in the years that had passed. In no small part due to its encounter with a certain father and a healthy dose of paranoia that had instilled in it. Discretion being the better part of valour and a large part of survival.
It withdrew further into the shadows as someone entered the room and it caught the tail end of the conversation going on.
“… You get a drink of water and let me check, alright?”
“’Kay.”
The door shut, there was a brief moment of activity, and someone settled onto the bed. It curled itself further into the safety of a deep shadow and waited.
The creature nearly jumped, as woman’s voice spoke.
“Right, I know this is technically not my job, but I’m babysitting tonight so I get to stand in. Not sure exactly how this is meant to go, but from what I learned from my parents…”
The creature slid further under the bed. Watching warily for any sign of movement.
“My mother always taught me to never attack from the direction they’re expecting.”
With little warning a hand suddenly grabbed the creature’s foot and dragged it backwards from under the bed.
It twisted back and forth, until it settled, upside down, staring at a Young woman with long black hair, green eyes and an all too familiar smirk.
“And Dad always told me, there is a good chance it will be more scared of me than I am of it…”
She grinned and hefted a well-worn baseball bat.
“And if not, I’m going to make damn sure you will be next time.” She paused, her eyebrows knitting as an old memory rose from the depths. “Do I know you?”
The creature immediately put its hands up and surrendered.
“Oh, you’re a smart one. You’ve clearly met my dad. Your services are no longer required. Leave.”
She dropped it onto fire escape outside the window. Then walked over and stopped facing the door.
“I will count to three.”
She didn’t have to. There was a scurry of footsteps and when she turned around there was no sign of anything untoward except an open closet. She pushed the closet door shut with the bat and opened the door to a small blond girl of about six.
“Did you find it, Mayumi?”
She smiled.
“All gone. My Dad showed me just how to deal with them. Now back to bed.”