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Satsuki, like all the other girls her age, has been taught for as long as she can remember that as a shinobi, her life is never truly her own. It is the village’s first and foremost, freely expendable as is every other shinobi’s. This is false, she will tell you – her life ended that horrible night four years ago, taken in all ways if not physically by the monster who destroyed everything, and all that was left for her to do was to deliver salvation to her cursed clan.
Or at least, this is how it was supposed to be, were it not for a Team Seven-sized wrench thrown into all of her meticulous plans. A Naruto-sized wrench, constantly screaming in her face and challenging her to fights and competitions because what the hell, a girl can’t be better than me at everything – screaming her name as he charges toward her with a rapidly forming Rasengan swirling in his hand, glaring at her like she’s a wild animal that needs to be taken down as he threatens to surpass her. A Kakashi-sized wrench, smiling serenely as she struggles through the training exercises he throws at her, patting her head when she finally, finally masters the Chidori – staring at her like she’s the worst scum of the earth as he binds her to a tree and lectures her like she’s a small child throwing a tantrum. A Sakura-sized wrench, constantly fussing over her, making sure she eats properly, peeling apples for her when he visits her at the hospital – shaking and staring up at her with tears in his eyes, like she’s the same monster that had razed the village to the ground just weeks before.
And Satsuki hates them – she hates them all. She hates them for thinking that they always, always think they know what’s best for her when they absolutely don’t. She hates them for always being there, never leaving her side even when she wants more than anything to be alone.
She hates them because it hurts to think that she might never, ever see them again.
“Those who break the rules are trash,” Kakashi had always said, “but those who turn their back on their friends are worse than trash.” Satsuki is the worst, most abject scum for even considering what she is about to do.
My life ended with the Uchiha, she has to remind herself as she closes her eyes, takes a deep, shuddering breath, and steps toward the village gate.
Sakura, unlike all the other boys his age, has been taught for as long as he can remember that he can never be like the heroes that the stories lauded – the ones steeped in nobility and glory that gave everything to protect the ones they loved. He’s just a pink-haired boy with a girly name, too weak and too soft to be of any such use. Stories like these are meant for people like Satsuki Uchiha, brave and strong and fearless like everything that Sakura has ever wanted to be.
And this, he thinks, is why he has always loved her.
It doesn’t make much sense, admittedly – boys his age tend to go for popular, friendly girls like Ino Yamanaka. Satsuki Uchiha is… well, she’s beautiful in a harsh and severe sort of way, but she’s so cold and distant that it’s hard to approach her. There’s something that’s just not right about her, something that can’t easily be explained with words.
Satsuki’s hurting in a way that Sakura can’t ever – and hopefully never truly has to – understand. There were shades of this pain back in the Academy, when every so often she’d look like she was a million kilometers away, and it’s only become more pronounced the better Sakura’s gotten to know her. Satsuki may not get that far away look in her eyes anymore, or maybe she’s just gotten better at hiding it, but–
But Sakura can’t ignore the way she’d screamed in that forest, clinging to him like he was the only thing left in the world that could keep her whole. He can’t ignore the sinister chakra and black marks swirling about her body as she nearly ripped apart the people that Sakura had so desperately tried to fight off before.
He can’t ignore the look of pure, unadulterated rage she’d given Naruto earlier that day, ready to strike him down like he represents everything that stands against her.
“This has nothing to do with you,” Satsuki told him before, her voice shaking with some ugly combination of pain and rage and determination. “There’s something I absolutely have to do. I won’t–I can’t forgive even you if you take that away from me.” But Sakura would be the worst, most abject scum to let her walk into what will become the worst decision of her life.
This has never been about you, he has to remind himself as he rushes to meet Satsuki at the village gate.
“Satsuki-chan!”
Satsuki stops dead in her tracks and closes her eyes. She’s dreadfully weak for doing so – her duty has nothing to do with the life she has to leave behind, and yet she can’t bring herself to take another step forward.
Her teammate has to put his hands on his knees to catch his breath, and he can’t say anything for a long moment. You need to train more, she wants to chastise him. Your stamina is still too low.
“Satsuki-chan…” he says again, more slowly. “Why…? Why do you always have to keep everything to yourself? Why won’t you tell me anything?”
“I already told you.” The words are out of her mouth before she can fully convince herself to walk away. “What I need to do… it has nothing to do with you.”
“I’m not saying that it does!” His hand snakes around Satsuki’s wrist, threatening to pull her back. “Just… Please, just listen to me for a minute.” He doesn’t let go of her hand. “You said… You said that being alone was the most painful thing in the world.”
He sniffles and chokes on a sob.
“But if you leave, you really will be all alone! Even if you do get your revenge by doing this… it won’t bring anyone happiness. Especially not you.”
Her eyes began to sting as every wall she’s built up over the past four years threatens to come crashing down. “I already know that.”
“Then why–”
“Because my life ended with the Uchiha.”
He gives a strangled gasp, and his grip on her wrist loosens ever so slightly. “You can’t… really mean that.”
She takes a deep breath to compose herself, though it does little good. “It’s the truth.”
Sakura grabs her shoulder, and then spins her around to face him. His wide, green eyes are filled with tears he doesn’t even bother hiding, and his whole body is trembling. “I love you,” he says as he pulls her into a tight embrace. “I… I promise, I’ll make sure you never feel that way, ever! It’s not over, and I’ll never let it be over!”
Satsuki smiles at him because it’s all that she can do, even though she owes him so much more. “I’m sorry,” she whispers as she slowly wraps her arms around him. All it takes is one tiny spark of chakra in one of his pressure points to send him crumpling into her in a dead faint.
She falls to the ground with him as what fragile strength she had leaves her at once. It takes her several minutes to recollect herself, to take him somewhere safe.
And when she finally leaves, she looks back and thinks that maybe she could have loved him too.