Work Text:
“We really shouldn’t, Lucius, it’s only his first day,” said Oluwande worryingly looking at his coworker, “We shouldn’t make him feel unwelcome. He seemed pretty nervous when I interviewed him.”
“Nonsense!” shouted Pete, “If he wants to be one of us, he has to go through it. All of us did.”
“Well, not all of us.”
“Well, not everyone is as old as you, Swede.”
“Come on, guys!”
“I mean he’s right. My teeth are already falling out,” said the man in question as he pulled out his “tooth fairy” box and shook it, making the teeth inside rattle.
“Well, teeth aside, we have to get ready. He'll be here soon. Plus, I know one hundred percent that he’s behind the counter today so it's perfect,” smirked Lucius.
Oluwande just shrugged. He hated this stupid tradition. It all started as a stupid prank on Lucius when he first started here and then that sly fox decided to make it a tradition for everybody new so he “would not be the only one traumatised”, and now the new guy would have to also suffer the consequences. He sighed. If they would lose another employee over this, he would personally make sure that Lucius would be in charge of looking for a new one. Though he would probably like that, wouldn’t he? There was no way to win. He straightened his tie and took a deep breath as he prepared the coffee order that would be Stede’s first task and hopefully not his last.
Stede felt very nervous. Today was his first day at Revenge Law Company, and he wanted to make a good first impression. After his divorce from Mary and finally having the courage to leave his father’s company with his mean coworkers who constantly played pranks on him behind, he hoped to finally find someone who cared or at least tolerated him. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Time to start again.
“Okay, so normally we take turns at this but it's kind of a tradition that the new guy will do a coffee run,” said Lucius, a striking dark-haired fella that seemed to be nice enough, Stede supposed, though he had a dangerous “do not play with me” glint in his eye, “So Stede, there's the list. Feel free to add anything you like. Here's the money and the address.”
He raised an eyebrow at that: “Isn’t there a coffee shop right across the street?”
“Yeah, but they don’t have everything we want so we go to this one.”
Blackbeard’s Coffee and Chill . Sounded decent enough, he supposed.
"Make sure to get everything, including the last one. It's part of their secret menu. They don't want too many people to know about it so the barista may seem a bit hostile at first but insist."
"Okay?"
"Now hurry up. Everybody wants their coffee on time."
He made his way out of the building. This wasn’t how he imagined his day to go. He thought maybe he would be shown his office, explained how the firm worked, and would probably be given a tour. The last thing he expected was to be put on a coffee run after meeting just one person in the lobby.
Gosh, what if this was a prank? What if this wasn't actually Lucius, the guy he was supposed to meet, and it was just somebody trying to get him fired before he even started his job? No, stop it, Stede, stop it. It’s going to be fine. Hopefully.
Lucius was just a nice lad, already including him in office traditions. Yes, that's what it definitely was.
He quickly typed the address into his phone and with a twist of worry in his heart made his way to the Blackbeard Coffee and Chill.
Ed was having a terrible day. One rich prick after another was coming in with their fancy orders and stupid modifications as if his menu wasn’t already long enough for everybody to pick something in it.
When he started this café it was a new way to begin after his knee injury after he left the navy. It was something fun and new, now it was just annoying.
Luckily, because he owned both the shop and the building, he could at least do as he pleased which meant that if somebody made him angry, he could easily kick them out and even ban them if he felt like it.
The door opened. He took a deep breath and put on what he hoped was a believable smile.
He froze. The man in front of him was the most gorgeous person he ever met. He had the softest-looking golden curls framing a gorgeous face with an adorable look of a deer in headlights. He was wearing a blue elegant suit that probably cost more than his entire shop and he was nervously clutching a piece of paper. His eyes seemed to sparkle when he looked at him.
They just stared at each other for a bit. After a moment, Ed finally woke from his trance and remembered that he was still working.
“What can I do for you today, sir?”
The handsome stranger gave him the most beautiful smile and pulled out a piece of paper: “I’m afraid my list is a bit long, you see. I’m doing a coffee run for my office.”
His smile fell upon seeing the paper. Based on the logo on top, he knew exactly from which firm he was. They only came here once in a while but it never ended well.
The stranger seemed to have noticed his change in mood: “Have I said something wrong?”
Did he? No, he did not. He took a deep breath. There was still a chance that this was a normal coffee run.
"So what’s your order?"
"Oh, one caramel macchiato, two black coffees, one cappuccino, one orange hot chocolate, one banana milkshake, two cups of hot milk, one cup of just plain hot water,” the man chuckled, “It says here that I should not ask why Buttons wants that. I guess that’s my new coworker. Buttons! ”
He could not help but smile at the man in front of him. He was adorable.
“Oh, and one Kraken special."
He froze. Of course, it had to go to shit really fast. Of course, there was something stupid there.
"I’m afraid we don't serve whatever the Kraken thing is."
"Oh, Lucius said it's like a secret menu thing?"
He tried to sound polite: "I'm afraid we don't have any secret menus."
"Oh, maybe I’m in the wrong shop then?"
He saw blondie look at his phone, his face adorably scrunching in confusion.
"Sorry, are you sure you don't serve it here?"
Normally, he would have thrown him onto the pavement while yelling profanities at him for questioning his knowledge of his own coffee shop but the tone with which blondie asked was so small his heart squeezed.
All of the other rich prissy pants tended to walk in and expect he would stand on one leg while reciting Shakespeare if they asked but not this one. He was like a golden retriever that became human, looking like he needed approval for every sentence he said.
"Can I at least get the rest here? Sorry, I’m probably wasting your time. It's just- It's my first day at this job and I’m only doing a coffee run and it already feels like I’m failing? Sorry, you probably don't wanna hear that."
Blondie looked like he wanted to disappear. Gosh, he was going to kill him with how huggable he looked.
"Of course, I can make it, blondie," the man's face lit up in the most beautiful way, "And since you asked so nicely, maybe even Kraken special will come your way," he winked at him.
The man turned as red as a tomato: "Blondie?"
"Well, you’re blonde," he said as he pressed buttons on the coffee machine, "But I can call you differently if you don't like it."
"Well, my name is Stede but blondie is also nice."
He reached out to shake his hand: "Ed. Nice to meet you, blondie. Now, tell me more about yourself while I make your order."
Talking to Stede was easy, way too easy. Soon they were laughing like old friends and he never wanted to let him go. Sadly way too soon he ran out of drinks to make without the Kraken special. He thought for a bit about what drink could pass for that name. In the end, he decided to make a blueberry milkshake with seven pumps of blue raspberry syrup and topped it with cinnamon, creating a powdery kraken on top of it
He regrettably turned to Stede with the last drink: "And one Kraken special."
"That's very cute," blondie pointed at the octopus as he started putting the lids on cups and slowly arranging them into cup holders, ready to leave.
He looked at Stede and said fuck it, “But that’s not what makes it special.”
"Pardon?"
“Well, it's called Kraken special so there has to be something special about it."
“Oh? And what makes it so special?”
He gently leaned over the counter in what he hoped was a flirtatious way: "Well you see, there’s something special that goes with it, if the customer wants to."
"Oh, and what’s that?"
"A kiss on the cheek."
He could see Stede once again turning into a tomato: "Pardon?"
"A kiss on the cheek,” and quickly added, “But only if they want it."
Stede seemed to pause for a bit like his brain was working too hard: "And how many customers did you kiss like this?"
He winked at him: "None so far, you see the special thing changes based on the customer."
"Oh.”
Stede’s face was once again scrunched up in concentration. He was suddenly worried he read the signals wrong and overstepped: "You know what, forget it. Sorry-"
"Well, it would be a shame to not get the special thing about the special, right?"
His heart started beating like crazy: "Yeah, that would be a shame."
Stede gently leaned over the counter, his red cheeks inviting his lips for a touch. It was short but sweet and he missed Stede's warmth already.
"So do you think it was special?"
Stede smiled at him: "Very but…"
"But what?"
"Maybe it would be more special if I got your number if that's not too forward?"
Ed never moved faster to scribble his number on the receipt: "Here you go, blondie. Hope to hear from you soon."
"Me too, Ed, me too."
"Where in the world is he, Lucius?" asked Oluwande angrily as Stede still had not returned from his coffee run.
"Chill, he’s probably fine, just licking his wounds somewhere. You know how scary that barista gets when he’s angry," said Lucius while laying in the office's most comfortable armchair like a cat.
“I will not chill, Lucius! This is the third guy you scared off this month with your stupid prank!”
Lucius rolled his eyes when suddenly the elevator beeped as the door opened… to reveal Stede with their drinks, seemingly in a very good mood.
“Oh, hello coworkers! I brought everything you asked for. One caramel macchiato, two black coffees, one cappuccino, one orange hot chocolate, one banana milkshake, two cups of hot milk, one cup of just plain hot water, and one Kraken special.”
When Stede looked up from his drinks he was met with wide eyes from both Lucius and Mr. Boodhari who he still remembered from his job interview.
“Did I get something wrong?”
After a bit of silence, Lucius seemed to find his words: “No, nothing’s wrong. Ehm, how was your coffee run?”
“Oh, lovely!” Oluwande and Lucius exchanged surprised looks, “I like that place very much! Ed was really nice and very helpful.”
“Ed?”
“Yeah, the barista. Long wavy soft looking gray-black hair? Very expressive brown eyes? Oh! Which reminds me, I will just borrow the receipt for a bit!”
They just stared at him as he quickly pulled out his phone and tapped something from the bill into it.
“Here, done. Now if you could show me where my office is, I would appreciate it. And then I should probably meet others?”
Oluwande just slowly nodded, leading Stede to his new office.
Lucius literally jumped after the receipt as soon as they were out of sight, his eyes narrowing on the set of numbers with “For blondie XOXO.”
He quickly typed the numbers into his phone. You never know when you might need to contact your new coworker’s (and his new friend’s, he was sure of it) boo.
He picked up his caramel macchiato and took a sip. Much better than the coffee shop across the street but he guessed that was because it was made with love.