Chapter Text
“Wilbur? Are you awake?” He felt a hand, running through his hair and bringing him to awareness. He tried to make a noise, but the only thing he could muster was a pitiful squeak. “Oh Wil,” the voice cooed, and he melted.
… Was he Wilbur?
There was an overwhelming static in his head. Unrelenting buzzing. His mind was an endless extent of nothingness. He, Wilbur , attempted to remember something, anything, but he came up empty.
“Are you okay?” the voice asked. Wilbur’s vision was too blurry to make out any actual shapes, but he was pretty sure there was another person sitting beside him. He could faintly make out a bright yellow color, though.
Then the person put a hand on his shoulder, and a memory came crashing back into his mind.
“Tommy,” Wilbur breathed.
“Y- yeah, yes! Yes, it’s me! Tommy! Do you- do you remember?” Wilbur shook his head fervently. Whether it was to try and dispel the static, or just to tell Tommy that he didn’t remember, Wilbur himself didn’t actually know. Faintly, Wilbur registered tears streaming down his face. In the act of shakily pushing himself into a sitting position, he realized that he’d been lying down. His vision cleared, if only slightly, and he stared at Tommy. Tommy, who had a sweet smile and golden hair. Tommy felt safe.
“Wilbur? D- are you okay?” Tommy asked worriedly. Wilbur nodded, sniffling, trying to stop crying. He felt embarrassed, even though he knew, deep within him, that Tommy was safe. He was being weak. He knew that. Tommy wouldn’t want to deal with that. Wilbur didn’t know very much about Tommy. He could only remember associating Tommy with happiness, but maybe Tommy would be mad at Wilbur? He didn’t know. Not knowing was scary.
Wilbur tried to push the thoughts down and focus on what he knew. He knew that his name was Wilbur, right? He seemed to have his motor and language skills intact. He just couldn’t remember… anything else. But he knew that Tommy was good and perfect and safe and-
And that he needed Tommy.
Eyes dilating as he lost all rational thought, Wilbur threw himself forwards into Tommy’s arms. He melted into Tommy’s arms immediately, because it was so warm.
“Oh, Wil,” Tommy cooed. “Are you scared?” And Wilbur didn’t want to be weak and afraid, but that was the truth. He didn’t remember, and that scared him! So he tentatively nodded, and Tommy pulled him closer, placing his head on his lap. Wilbur practically started to purr when Tommy began to run his fingers through his hair again.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, and Wilbur’s nerves began to fade. He felt safe. Tommy was safe.
“So, Wilbur,” Tommy said, immediately causing Wilbur to tense because all of a sudden, Tommy sounded mad. Was he mad at Wilbur? Oh no, Wilbur was being clingy. Now more than ever, Wilbur tried to force a memory, to recall anything. He felt so helpless, and now that Tommy was mad? Wilbur would-
“I’m not mad,” Tommy told him, and Wilbur believed him. Tommy would never lie. “But I have a question, and I need you to answer it. Do you… do you remember anything?”
Wilbur sat up, pushing himself out of Tommy’s lap. Dread settled in his stomach, leaving Tommy like that, but he had to. So, he looked Tommy in the eyes, and…
“No,” he admitted quietly, his voice sounding small. His eyes started to water.
“Oh, hey, you’re okay!” Tommy comforted, sounding genuinely happy. Wilbur immediately relaxed again. “I’ll help you remember everything that you need to, okay?”
“Really?” Wilbur asked, his voice saturated with hope and excitement.
“Yeah! I promise. Do you have any questions, something that you’re confused about?”
Well. Wilbur wanted to know what happened to him to make him forget. But that seemed like a rude first question, and he seemed to have an instinctual distaste for saying anything Tommy would find rude.
He probably just didn’t want to make Tommy sad. Wilbur thought that maybe, he loved Tommy? He wasn’t sure. Maybe Tommy knew.
But that’s also a blunt first question. So, Wilbur would start small.
“Where are we?”
“We’re in your room, currently. If you want, you can look around!” Wilbur did as he was prompted to, glancing around the room. It was pretty extravagant. The walls were lined with bookcases that were stocked with books. There was art on the walls, and even the floor had a trim that gave off fancy vibes.
(There weren’t any windows.)
“We’re in my, uh, palace,” Tommy continued. “If you could call it that.”
“You’re royalty?”
“Yeah! And well, you are too, kinda. We’re like brothers.”
“Brothers?” Wilbur echoed, like a child.
“Don’t say that, I will cry,” Tommy replied wistfully, like he was quoting an inside joke that Wilbur didn’t understand. But Wilbur didn’t voice his confusion. There was a lot more pressing concerns.
Like what happened to Wilbur.
If they were brothers, Wilbur could ask Tommy what happened, right? … Well, what did he have to lose?
“What happened?” Wilbur inquired quietly, his voice dying out at the end of the question.
“You mean why you forgot?” Wilbur nodded. If Tommy was mad, he was doing a better job of masking it. But he probably was mad. Wilbur felt wrong again, like he shouldn’t have said that. He was being ungrateful, wasn’t he? Tommy looked unhappy. Tommy was scowling at him! Wilbur was being bad, because he shouldn’t need to know what happened- “Do you really want to know?”
And now Wilbur violently shook his head. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t! He shouldn’t! Knowing felt wrong, it felt bad, and the feeling inside of him hurt. But as soon as he shook his head no, Tommy gave him a smile, and the feeling went away.
So… Wilbur chose correctly? Okay.
“Wilbur, I know you’re scared, but you’re doing very well,” Tommy comforted. “I’m sure that forgetting is scary. I promise that you can trust me. I will always be here for you.”
Wilbur nodded, tears budding in his eyes again, just as he had forced them to stop. “O-okay.”
“Although… while you heal, you’re gonna have to stay in your room. Don’t worry, though! I’ll stay here for most of the time, okay? And I can bring you something to do when you’re alone.”
Wilbur averted his eyes down, as meeting Tommy’s gaze suddenly felt like too much. He nodded, this time the movement barely recognizable because of how small it was. But he felt Tommy’s smile, like a glow he could bask in. He could do this, for Tommy.
And for his healing, he supposed. And when his memories came back, he’d remember Tommy, and he wouldn’t be so ungrateful and stupid and clingy and worthless and anno-
Wilbur’s face was buried in Tommy’s shirt again. He didn’t even know he’d moved this time. He supposed it was instinct, to find safety in Tommy. Tommy was safe.
“Wilbur,” Tommy soothed again, his voice soft and loving, and Wilbur needed it. He felt helpless without Tommy. His mind was an endless nothingness, but in the center of it all stood Tommy. So at the moment, Tommy was his whole world. “You’re so good.”
And Wilbur’s brain couldn’t take all of the kindness, so he slipped into sleep, knowing that he was safe.
When Wilbur woke up, he was still safely ensconced in Tommy’s arms.
“Good morning, sleepy,” Tommy said. Wilbur smiled up at him. And then realized that he still didn’t remember anything.
“Tom-“
“Are you hungry?” Tommy asked. Oh, maybe the discomfort Wilbur kept getting in his stomach was hunger? He guessed that made sense. Enough.
So Wilbur nodded.
“Okay, I’m gonna go get us something to eat,” Tommy told him. “Will you be okay here on your own?”
“Yes,” Wilbur replied immediately, not wanting to be a dead weight Tommy that had to drag around. Tommy grinned and ruffled his hair. Wilbur leaned into the touch and tried not to seem sad when Tommy moved his hand away.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Tommy got up and left the room. Wilbur heard the door click as Tommy closed it. It was probably just the noise the doorknob made.
Wilbur decided to take this time to look around his room, see if anything jogged his memory. Slowly, he climbed out of the bed, sad to leave his and Tommy’s lingering warmth. Still, the air outside of the bed was pleasant, and Wilbur felt comforted. The carpet on the floor was soft, and Wilbur had to bend over and rub his hands across it a few times so he could fully appreciate it.
All of a sudden, a whisper in his mind told him that he desperately wanted Tommy back. It reminded him how alone he was. A pit opened up in his stomach and he panicked, pressing his back up against the wall. Fear threatened to overwhelm him, and he shut his eyes, sinking to the ground.
Knees pulled tightly to his chest, he started to tug at his hair as tears leaked from his eyes. He was alone and afraid and he needed Tommy and he was so so scared-
And then he was in Tommy’s arms. Tommy whispered soft kindnesses into his ear as he came back to awareness.
Wilbur whimpered and tried to make himself smaller.
“Aw, Wil,” Tommy said softly. “Do you have separation anxiety?” Oh no, he hoped not. Was that a bad thing? Wilbur wasn’t really sure. “That’s good,” Tommy whispered, almost too quietly for Wilbur to hear.
Maybe he didn’t hear it. Maybe he made it up. But he could confirm whether it was real or not.
“Is it?” Wilbur asked.
“Yeah! Wilbur, you’re perfect. I know you don’t remember everything… but do you trust me?” Wilbur nodded vehemently, almost hurting his neck in the process.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, y- yes,” Wilbur replied. “I do, I do.” He wasn’t sure why it felt so important to him that he trust Tommy. But it was important, and he did trust Tommy, and…
Did he love Tommy? Did Tommy love him? He wasn’t sure. Maybe he should ask?
“Do I love you?” Wilbur blurted, not thinking clearly. His brain was muddled with affection and lingering fear, and he didn’t think that maybe he shouldn’t have asked that-
“You do. And more than anyone else, I love you, Wilbur.”
“Really?”
“You’re my favorite,” Tommy cooed, gently taking Wilbur’s face in his hands and looking at him. Wilbur let him, because Tommy cared about him.
So… Wilbur loved Tommy. That was good to know.
“Anyways,” Tommy continued, placing Wilbur down on the bed, “I did bring food. Would you like to eat now?” Wilbur was hungry. That was what the bad feeling had been, he’d decided.
“Yes please,” he answered. Tommy handed him a golden food that Wilbur couldn’t put a name to. He wanted to ask what it was, but the words died in his throat. It didn’t matter anyway. Tommy wouldn’t give him something that was bad. So, Wilbur took the food and shoved it in his mouth. And wow, was it amazing! Wilbur felt a warmth run through him that almost felt cleansing. It kinda tasted like.. honey. The food did look like honeycomb. So maybe that’s what he was eating?
Tommy handed him another piece. And another. After four or five, he told Wilbur that he’d eaten enough. Wilbur nodded, accepting this. He wanted more of the food, but Tommy was probably just trying to keep him healthy.
“Is there anything else you want, Wil? You can have anything in the entire world, y’know. The whole, uh, royalty thing.”
Wilbur didn’t really want anything. He was happy here with Tommy. He could already feel his memories coming back! Spending a sunny day in the park with Tommy, the two of them having ice cream, and giggling together, late at night. He wasn’t remembering any times that Tommy wasn’t there, not yet, but that was okay! Tommy was very important to him. He knew that. Other memories would come back in time.
There was one thing that stood out to Wilbur. One thing that he wanted. He wasn’t in this room - his room - in any of his newfound memories. Maybe leaving the room would help him remember more! And Wilbur didn’t like (feeling trapped) being cooped up in a small space.
“Can I please leave my room?” he asked. Tommy raised an eyebrow.
“Why?”
“I- uh- I’m starting to remember,” Wilbur explained, nervous that Tommy wouldn’t believe him, even though it was the truth. “ You . So maybe seeing other parts of the, um, palace, it’ll help me remember? And I wanna go outside. P- please.” Tommy hummed.
“Okay!” he replied. “Let’s go! But one thing, okay? Promise me that you’ll stay right by my side. You’re still very fragile from the incident, and with your memory… I don’t want anything bad to happen. If I tell you to do something, you have to do it. It’s for your own safety.” Now Wilbur was starting to feel nervous.
“Isn’t it just your house? Shouldn’t it be safe?”
“Yes, but… we’ve had a few small safety issues lately. They should all be resolved. It’s just in case. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” And so, Tommy took his hand and led him to the door. He opened it and Wilbur felt a rush of excitement as he stepped out of his room. He tightened his grip on Tommy’s hand as they walked down long hallways that Wilbur didn’t recognize.
“Do you wanna go into the courtyard?” Tommy asked. “We planted all of your favorite flowers there. Remember?”
“I don’t remember,” Wilbur said sadly. He looked down at his feet guiltily. “But we can go.” So, Tommy brought him outside. Wilbur really liked being outdoors! The open air sparked a feeling inside of him that he couldn’t put a name to. It was like… excitement, happiness, (a little bit of fear that he didn’t understand) and tranquility. Wilbur giggled like a little kid and plopped down into the bright green grass. Each blade was uniformly cut and was thriving. There wasn’t any dead grass at all, and no sticks poked his side.
“Oh, do you wanna see all of the plants and animals?” Tommy offered. “They’re really cool. You always used to like them! Maybe they can help you bring back your memories?”
“Sure!” Wilbur agreed. Tommy bounded over to him (why the hell did Wilbur feel the need to repress a flinch) and extended a hand. (Maybe he was just nervous. Jumpy. Yeah, that made sense.) Wilbur excitedly took his hand and let Tommy lead him to the garden.
Happily by his brother’s side, he wandered through the vast array of plants. There were abundant fruits and vegetables, but also cool flowers and trees! Tommy pressured Wilbur into climbing one of the thickest trees. Luckily, if Wilbur had a fear of heights, he didn’t remember it! And the view was beautiful from the top of the tree. Wilbur could see clouds that went on for miles! The sky was a perfect blue, the same color as Tommy’s eyes.
“Do you know how to get down?” Tommy asked.
“Yeah, of course I do!” He definitely didn’t.
“Oh sure, I bet. And you’re gonna take a page out of my book, declare yourself a big man who doesn’t need any help?” That phrase didn’t ring any bells in Wilbur’s memory.
“I’m just smarter than you, Toms.” Where did that nickname come from? “I can get down just fine. I’m older, after all!” Was he? This banter came so naturally to Wilbur, but no memories backed it up.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “I can call a servant over with a ladder if you need it, Wilbur.”
“No, no, I don’t wanna bother anyone. I’ll just climb down.” Wilbur tried to slip down to the branch below him but almost fell. “Fuck,” he hissed.
“You used to be good at this!” Tommy remarked, stifling laughter.
“Well, I forgot!” Wilbur snapped. Tommy’s expression immediately changed. Wilbur didn’t know if Tommy was hurt or angry, but it didn’t matter. Wilbur- oh no- he- he’d just- why was he like this? He shouldn’t have yelled at Tommy! Tommy was going to be mad! How stupid could Wilbur be? Maybe Wilbur was just a bad person. He was taking everything that Tommy had shown him for granted!
“Hey, you don’t need to cry! I’m- I’m not mad at you,” Tommy said. Oh, Wilbur was crying? Shakily, he peeled an arm off of the branch he was clinging to and wiped his tears on his sleeve.
“I’m sorry,” Wilbur apologized. “I promise, I won’t do it again. I’ll be good.” Was that enough? Would Tommy still be mad? (But he said he wasn’t mad! Maybe he was lying? Because Wilbur was not supposed to make Tommy sad. Even though… Tommy loved him? No matter what? It didn’t make sense.)
Wilbur’s brain was stupid.
“I forgive you,” Tommy replied, and Wilbur breathed a sigh of relief. “Now, I’m coming up there to help you get down.” Tommy was as good as his word. He climbed up with ease and guided Wilbur down, step by step. After that, Tommy decided that Wilbur was a little overwhelmed and should go back to his room.
“Okay,” Wilbur relented, despite being a little disappointed. He hadn’t even gotten to see the animals yet! And his memory wasn’t back. But, he supposed Tommy was right. Wilbur was shaking. And Tommy was just trying to take care of him.
They started to walk back to Wilbur’s room. He didn’t recognize any of the hallways they went down. Maybe they were taking a different path.
Wilbur turned a corner, walking ahead of Tommy for a short moment. And his eyes landed on a trio of people who were walking from the other end of the hallway. Two of them were dressed in full armor, like guards. And the third, being restrained and dragged by the guards, wa-
“Wilbur?”
“-UN! RUN- WILBUR, YOU HAVE TO RUN, WE’RE NOT GONNA MA-“
Wilbur’s knees went weak and he dropped onto the ground. His breathing grew frantic, and he thought he might be panicking. His chest tightened and it hurt -
Through the water that clouded his eyes, through the pain, he made eye contact with the person who called his name.
And the person’s name was on the tip of his tongue, a memory that he could feel trying to push to the surface.
But the person was quickly escorted away, and Wilbur’s emotions overwhelmed him. Tommy rushed to his side and kneeled down next to him.
“Wilbur, what…”
“It hurts, it hurts, Tommy,” Wilbur cried. “My head, I can’t- I don’t…”
“Let’s go back to your room.”
Tommy picked him up off the ground with ease and carried him. Wilbur tried to calm himself, to feel safe enough to drift off in Tommy’s arms. But… what had just happened ? Was that a memory? Wilbur shuddered at the thought. It was all so much! It didn’t make sense. His head was pounding.
Tommy placed him down on his bed, bringing him back to awareness. Gently, Tommy pet the side of his face in attempt to soothe him.
“You’re okay,” Tommy muttered. “You’re safe.”
Wilbur sniffled, damming his tears. He was safe. He was okay.
He felt sleep tugging at the edge of his mind again, and he allowed it to consume him. Just before he drifted off, he could’ve sworn he heard Tommy whisper one last thing.
“My Wilbur.”