Archive of Our Own ^beta

Laughably, the first time Tweek had met Craig was through South Park's resident troublemakers. The first words they had said to each other were somewhere at the end of the fiasco, as they lay on the hospital beds beside each other. 

"You're lucky you broke my legs, or else I would’ve come over there and beat you again," Craig said into the quiet room.

"Gah. What did I even do?! All I was told is that you wanted to ngh fight me!"

Craig sounded pissed. "First you called me a poop eater, and then you insulted Stripe!" 

"Who ack the fuck is Stripe?!"

"Don't play dumb! My Guinea pig!"

"Wait. You have a guinea pig?" Tweek turned his head to look at Craig. Wincing due to the fact that his neck was in a cast thanks to the asshole he was looking at.

Craig was glaring at him when their eyes met. It took a moment before the malice behind them was gone and replaced with confusion. "You didn't know I had a guinea pig?! Why the fuck did they tell me you said some shit about Stripe then!"

It took the two a couple of more minutes of talking for them to bring up the insults the one had supposedly said to the other. The realization they had been set up had come in a little too late. After they already had tried to kill each other in this room, due to Stan's friends' dedication to watching them throw hands 

Tweek felt like an idiot. "Jesus. I'm sorry man, rrrrh this could've just been avoided had I not listened to Kyle!"

"Yeah. That was kind of stupid of you." Craig snorted. 

Tweek paused for a moment. "You got tricked by Cartman! What are you gah talking about?!"

"We don't talk about it."

Then it had turned into a yelling match at who was truly the idiot in the room. Had it not been for both of them bedridden, Tweek was sure it might've been another fistfight. It ended when the nurses came by to scold them for being so loud. After that, the room was silent for the next two days. Tweek had decided Craig Tucker was an asshole. There was no reason they even had to lie to Tweek about things the stoic boy had said. After that ‘conversation’, Tweek wanted nothing more than to break his ankles.

They say nothing to each other as they’re released from the hospital at the same time. Tweek silently vows to never speak to Craig Tucker again. 

Then there's the period where Tweek fills in for Kenny while the boy was… he can't quite remember, but he remembers the parka-wearing boy was gone so the three took Tweek refuge from his life of eating with Kevin Stoley at lunch.

He almost forgot why he hated them, up until he was dragged along on their adventures. The pressure was too much. He also felt like Cartman was going to kill him in his sleep given the right moment and motive.

Through this small little moment, Tweek becomes known as a fill-in-friend. He doesn't exactly like the idea of being of the same social status as Butters, but he tries to live with it. He got to hang out with the girls for a bit, and he also got to hang out with some of the sports kids.

Until he gets dragged into the life of Craig Tucker once more. Their one friend Jimmy is gone for some health reasons, and it's surprisingly Clyde who brings the blonde to their table at lunch.

Craig at first was less than impressed. "Why is he here?"

"He seemed lonely, and we have an open spot!" Clyde stuck out his tongue. 

Tweek felt like he was going to explode.

The three of them had talked about whatever happened in their shared science class. Whenever Tweek looked up Craig was giving him this look. This I'm-going-to-murder-you kind of look. Tweek ended up not eating, or moving, just twitching. When the bell rang he sped to get rid of whatever was on his tray and disappeared to his next class. 

The next day, Clyde drags him back to their table against his will. This time they try to include Tweek into their conversations, and it ends up with Craig interrupting his unfinished sentence.

It goes on like this for a couple of weeks before Tweek gets fed up and starts cutting Craig off. The first time Tweek cut Craig off the noiret tried to cut Tweek off again. Tweek was so done with being near Craig Tucker that he forced out a noise that was loud enough for tables around to stare at them. Tweek stared at Craig for a moment, squinting before continuing his train of thought. After that Craig didn't try to cut him off for the rest of the day, and as time went on Craig stopped cutting Tweek off altogether. Then Tweek began to enjoy conversations with them, well, Clyde and Tolkien specifically. Craig and Tweek said almost nothing to each other aside from a few snarky quips. The asshole in the blue chullo didn’t stop Tweek from walking to their table after a couple of weeks. 

When the metrosexual era hit South Park, Tweek almost forgot he was just a fill-in for Jimmy. The four of them hung out after school and got a couple of matching outfits to wear to school.

It was the moment Tweek sat in Tolkien's bedroom as his friends took off their shirts he realized he was probably into guys. It was mainly looking at Clyde's abs that made him feel like he was going to combust. He also then came to the realization he was going to tell this to no one. When he went home and did extensive research, learned he was probably bisexual, and that people were still not very accepting of that, he became too paranoid and afraid of saying anything. He decided his silence on the matter would be better.

He got along well with them, and it made Tweek happy. He didn’t want to ruin that.

But it didn’t matter, not when a familiar yellow sweater is seen walking through the halls.

Tweek ends up having a breakdown in the nurse's office and ends up going home for the rest of the day. He forgot he was just there to fill space at their table. The idea that he would never speak to Clyde or Tolkien again brought him to tears. He mentally notes he could live with never speaking to Craig again. 

He gets no sleep and ends up ruining his button-up more than he normally would. The idea of sitting with Kevin Stoley again made Tweek nauseous. What if Kevin thought Tweek was coming back because he liked Star Trek. Tweek to this day has still never seen a goddamn episode of Star Trek.

He pushes himself to school, and even worse he forces himself into the cafeteria when lunch hits. He's eyeing the middle table on the left, the table he would normally walk to, and reminding himself to breathe deep when he spots yellow. 

Dread fills his stomach as he realizes he's walking past to the back right to go sit with Kevin Stoley. 

Then someone grabs his arm and Tweek jumps. He turns to see Craig who looks pissed off. "And where do you think you're going?"

"Gah To… each lunch?"

Craig rolls his eyes. "You passed our table like two tables ago."  He gives Tweek a little pull, but the blonde stands firm.

"Isn't… ngh Jimmy back again?"

"What? You hate crippled people, Tweekers?"

"Gah No! You guys have no reason for me if Jimmy's back, right?!" Tweek yanks his arm back. He's ready for Craig to say something mean, to rub it in. Instead, green eyes look lost as he scrunches his nose up in confusion. "Wasn't I just… filling ngh space for Jimmy?!"

"Holy shit. You are soooo dumb." Craig puts his hand to his mouth in disbelief. "Clyde brought you over because he thought you looked sad. You are sooo stupid if you think we are anything like those four-bodied-one-brain dumbasses or the rest of the school. Tolkien and Clyde care about you, Tweek." Craig pauses to look around for a moment. "Now come back to our table before Clyde thinks I was bullying you because people are staring. I will grab you by the legs to make you sit if I have to. You will make Clyde cry, and I will beat your ass harder than I did in third grade."

Tweek is still reeling from this information but his mouth gets the better of him. "For gah future reference I kicked your ass. You also literally just ngh bullied me." Clyde and Tolkien actually like him?! That's such a relief. He likes them too.

"As if." Craig scoffs and turns around, marching away. Tweek takes a second before his feet follow after Craig. "You said shit about Stripe. I would not let you be a winner there."

"Rrrrr Cartman said I said shit about your guinea pig. I had ack no clue about it until you said something."

Craig turns his head to Tweek so the blonde can see him visibly roll his eyes before he sits down next to Tolkien. Tweek takes the seat next to Clyde, who dramatically throws his arms around Tweek. "Tweeky! I thought you had died, or you were leaving me again! I can't have another blonde leave me this lifetime!"

Tweek’s about to stammer out some excuse but a nasally voice is responding for him. "Tweek had a bad case of explosive diarrhea. He was worried we were going to hate him because he smelled bad."

Tweek whips his head to see the shit-eating grin on Craig's face. "Awh, Tweeky, it's okay bro! When you gotta go, you gotta go! I was worried Craig was bullying you behind our backs or something." Tweek doesn't protest Craig's claims, too focused on reveling in how Clyde squeezes him harder to be comforting.

"Hey—!"

"B-Besides… h-h-hasn't Bebe l-left y-y-you f-f-four t-t-times a-already?" An unfamiliar voice quips. 

It has Clyde burying himself crying into Tweek’s shoulder. Tweek feels like he should say something to defend the poor boy's honor, but instead, he gets to pat the brunette's head so he lets it slide.

Despite the fact that the first sentence Tweek ever heard him say was insulting his favorite friend, Jimmy and Tweek end up getting along well.

Tweek is somehow the only one who will laugh at his jokes, which is enough for Jimmy to proclaim Tweek has his new favorite friend over Tolkien. After about a week they invite Tweek over to one of their sleepovers at Tolkiens. Craig looks like he's going to kill Tweek when the blonde says yes, but it's going to be his first-ever sleepover.

He bakes lemon bars and brings them over, and it's the first time he ever hears a compliment from Craig.

"These are actually decent." He mumbles.

"These are the bomb. Craig's taste buds are broken. Tweeky I will kill to have you bake for me every day!" Clyde interjects loudly. 

Tolkien and Jimmy aren't short on their praises either, and it is what starts Tweek on baking for them.

He doesn't exactly get paid for the labor he does at his parent's coffee shop, so when he learns that it's going to be Clyde's birthday soon and Craig was supposed to tell him a week ago, he makes Clyde a cake. He does one for Jimmy and Tolkien too for their birthdays in the following months. He also gets to enjoy telling Craig he'll make him a cake for his birthday too, and the look on the other boy's face when Tweek tells Craig he'll hide some blueberries in the batter, knowing how much he despises blueberries.

As time with his friends passes, summer comes all too soon. Tweek ends up working at the coffee shop for most of the summer. He gets to hang out with his friends every so often when his parents finally decide they'll work at the coffee shop, or are actually home and not on some spontaneous trip. It has him thinking a lot about his "friendship" with Craig, and how they kind of remind him of some Mystery Inc. dynamics.

Craig is the Shaggy to Tweek’s Fred. They've maybe had one or two sentences spoken to each other in private but every other conversation was fueled by those around them. And Tweek is clearly the smarter and hotter one out of the two, so it checks out.

It's why on one Sunday morning, when Craig walks into the coffee shop alone, Tweek's confused. Craig makes it to the counter, and the two are silently staring at each other before Tweek points at Craig accusatory. "Shouldn't you be ngh a-at church?!"

"I kept flipping off Father Maxi so I'm not allowed back in the building." Craig snorts. "Why aren't you at church?"

Tweek rolls his eyes. "My family is ack Buddhist. E-Even if we weren't my dad would nnnngh not miss out on the church rush money." He takes a look around to make sure he isn't holding up a line. "So why are you here?"

"I'm here to kidnap you."

"Gah No seriously, why are you here."

Craig inches closer to the counter. "To kidnap you. I'll do it legally though and let your parents know."

"Rrrrrr good luck they aren't here."

Craig blinks. "You expect me to believe you're just running the coffee shop by yourself?"

"Do you ack w-want to check my back room?" Tweek snaps.

Craig doesn't respond. The blue-clad boy instead hops over the counter and swings open his break room door. Tweek glares at where Craig disappears into the back and turns his attention back to the shop. It's Sunday, during church hours, so it's dead. There's nobody in the store right now aside from Tweek and the boy Tweek can hear yelling out noises one would use to call a cat. Said boy is now coming out and giving Tweek a sour look.

"They really aren't here?"

"A-Almost like I said that! GAH!"

"So. You run the store by yourself?!"

"Yes?!

The two stare at each other for a couple of moments before Craig flips Tweek off. Before Tweek can yell at him Craig is coming over to stand beside Tweek and prod at the till in front of him. "So how do I use it?" 

Tweek slaps Craig's hand. "Dude ack stop touching it!"

"Why? I want to help."

"Why?!"

"Well, it must suck doing this alone," Craig mumbles. "I can't imagine being left to work at age ten." Tweek pauses for a moment. "Oh come on, I can't be that bad."

"What?! Gah I didn't even s-say anything!"

"You're giving me this look." Craig clicks his tongue. "I'm not leaving. So you might as well teach me." 

Tweek lets out an exasperated sigh. 

Up until the after-church rush, Tweek is stuck with Craig. He refuses to tell him why he's staying and is the worst at learning. Despite the two hours that Tweek had to constantly tell him the prices are on the blackboard behind him, and he just has to add the prices and multiply with tax, Craig still couldn't get it.

He refused to move when people started piling in, and he ended up taking orders during the rush. He was getting them wrong, of course. He either wasn't listening to what they wanted exactly or he was charging them wrong. People were angry of course. Craig gave them an "It's my first day, asshole." or "I'm literally ten. Go easy on me.". Tweek was on the verge of tears each time he handed out a coffee order that was done right despite Craig’s awful order taking. People atleast left with no complaints after they got their coffee. 

All but this one woman. 

It’s around the time that the rush is dead and it’s just stragglers walking in every so often. So Tweek is helping Craig with the cash register since the boy is still determined to help. She walks in like she’s been here a million times and it already has Tweek on edge. Tweek makes it a fact to know all his regulars, and he’s never seen this lady even once. She has this voice that makes even Tweek stand on edge, and Tweek can see it in Craig’s face that he has no intention of being nice to this woman. “Do you guys do mochas here?” She slams her keys onto the counter.

Craig turns to Tweek who gives a little nod, and he turns to look up at the board before answering. “Yeah, what size.”

“Do you guys have… flavorings?”

Tweek responds for him this time. “Ngh , yeah. We have most of the common gah ones.”

She hums her acknowledgment and they stand there for a couple of moments. Before she turns to the two of them and gives them a sour look. “So, can I order or?”

“Yeah, we’re waiting on you.” Craig snaps.

She clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes. “Alright, large mocha but instead of chocolate can I get exactly three pumps of vanilla, half coffee in it as well please, then once it’s done three pumps of strawberry with light whip cream but heavy cinnamon on the top? And well-stirred, please.” It’s quiet between the three of them. “Well?”

Tweek has been feeling like he was going to throw up all day due to the customers and the way it’s been going, but something about this woman makes Tweek feel like he wants to curl up and cry. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Craig nod and write down “FUCKING BITCH CHARGE ” on the notepad in front of him. “Alright. That’ll be fifteen dollars, ma’am.”

“What?! ” She sounds like she is going to argue.

Tweek turns away and tries to ignore Craig purposely scamming the lady in hopes of starting her mocha and getting her to leave faster. He ends up catching bits and pieces as he tries to recall her exact instructions on it. Something along the lines of the lady saying it’s not fair, and Craig saying everything she was adding was costing money, plus taxes, and Tweek thinks he might’ve heard something along the lines of paying for child labor. 

When Tweek finishes the mocha and he hopes it's to her liking, the woman is grumbling and handing Craig fifteen in bills as the boy grins. "Ack, here you go!" Tweek slams it down a little too quickly in hopes to get her to leave. 

"Yeah, whatever." She takes it and stomps off, and once she swings open the door Tweek punches Craig in the arm and starts whisper yelling. "For someone gah trying to help you are giving me ack more problems!" Tweek tugs on the sleeves of his shirt so he doesn't start flailing his arms in distress.

"Oh come on. She was a total bitch, she deserved it— oh fuck." 

"What the fuck is this?!" Tweek jumps at the sound of a coffee cup being slammed. The woman is now in front of them, and she's making it feel like the coffee shop is smaller. "This is obviously four pumps of vanilla, this whipped cream is awful, you overcharged me too! I want to speak to your manager! I want a full refund before I sue!"

The air feels a lot thinner all of a sudden, and he suddenly feels so small. The thought of Tweek getting his parent's business sued and shut down because Craig can't take an order and Tweek can't make a coffee makes him feel like he is going to throw up. Craig's response sounds like he's running a marathon, and it makes everything else go silent. When Tweek turns to Craig to see if he's okay, he realizes it's not Craig's breathing, it's his. It's all he can hear.

His thoughts shoot off at a mile a minute as he brings his hands to his hair and tugs in familiarity in order to ground himself. He closes his eyes and tries his best to count, but the loudness of his breath and the distant voices are driving him insane. 

Then he feels a hand on his shoulder and it's way too much. He thinks he lets out some sort of "Don't touch me!" But he can't hear anything beyond breathing and numbers jumbling in his head.

It feels like it's been ages before he finally hears something distant. Craig's talking, and as it stays consistent Tweek puts his effort into focusing on his voice. "Okay I know I've been…. but I just want to…. I don't even know if you can hear me but you're breathing…. but you're doing great. What else am I supposed to say? God."

He loosens the grip on his hair once he realizes it's starting to hurt. He doesn't dare open his eyes, but he feels pieces of his hair slipping through his fingers. "Well okay you're breathing is definitely better. You are doing an amazing job or something. Maybe you should get a stress ball, I think you might make yourself go bald if you keep pulling at your hair." When Tweek finally opens his eyes Craig is squatting in front of him. Slight worry in his green eyes as he holds a broom and his phone sits beside him, on but untouched. "Uh, hey. I— uh, got you some water." When Tweek looks down the other boy is nudging one of the bottles of water they sell towards him. "I don't know if it helps but—”

"Thank you." Tweek takes a deep breath, in hopes to steady his breathing. He stares at the water for a second before remembering it's from his shop, his job which he's currently supposed to be doing. When Tweek jumps up in a panic he notices the coffee shop is empty. "Gah?! What happened?!"

"I. Uh." Craig pales. "You started freaking out and that lady was being annoying and the customers were all staring so I— chased them out with a broom and locked the door?" Tweek breaks out into laughter.

The thought of Craig shoving a broom into someone's face and clearing out the coffee shop for him. "What?!" Craig snaps. 

"Nothing. Ack I just, might have to watch the security tapes later." Tweek sinks back down and sits on the floor.

Tweek looks at Craig's phone. "What does it mean when someone is hyperventilating" is messily typed into Google. "Oh fuck I thought those didn't work." Craig groans. "Sorry. I definitely fucked your birthday up."

"What." Tweek snaps his head up to Craig. "Today's not my ngh birthday."

"...Is it not August seventeenth?" 

Tweek pauses. He grabs Craig's phone faster than the other boy can stop him from grabbing it. He bites back a smile noticing Craig did in fact google how to help. He drags the notification bar down to see it is in fact August seventeenth. Today was Tweek's birthday, and he spent most of it in his coffee shop and then had a panic attack.  

Tweek hands Craig his phone back and takes a quick swig of water. "Shit. Did I say something wrong?"

"NnnnnGh No. I just. I didn't know." Tweek mumbles. As he watched Craig pocket his phone It suddenly sets in. Summer's been a bit off, and it feels like he's more on autopilot. He just spent a day with Craig Tucker, someone who up until now he was mainly fighting with. In fact, quite literally up to the last moment Tweek and Craig were five seconds from killing each other. "Gah. Is that why you were looking for my parents?! To steal me?!" 

Craig lets out a groan and flops on the floor. He pulls on the strings of his chullo, covering his eyes. "You can't tell the others I told you. I was supposed to take you to Tolkien's before church got out, they have a surprise party planned."

"Oh. Why did they ngh send you?"

"Because I wasn't in church," Craig mumbles as he lets go and fixes his hat. "And everyone else said they'd feel bad dragging you by force."

"Of course… oh god. Rrrrrr did I ruin their plans by working today?!"

"Nah. Clyde was supposed to do something but didn't have it done, so you bought him time." Craig chuckles. "Besides, I definitely ruined your day. Which is soooo funny, but I'm sorry."

Tweek groans. He looks up at the counter for a moment before he runs his hands down his face. "You still suck, you know. Maybe ack not as much as before but you ngh do suck."

"Not as much as you." Craig retorts ways too fast. 

Tweek ignores him and gets up, and looks around the empty coffee shop. "Gah I don't want to re-open."

"Then don't." Tweek looks down at Craig, who's still gripping the broom. "We could head for Tolkien's now."

"Gah But, the shop."

"You just had a panic attack, Tweek. Do you really want to keep working?"

"But my parents—"

"Should understand you were feeling unwell. You called your favoritest of friends to come and comfort you, and I deemed the workplace unsafe." A sly grin forms on his face.

"My favorite friend is Clyde, but nice try." Tweek grins.

Craig rolls his eyes. "If I liked you, I'd be offended. Now let's blow this popsicle joint."

Tweek pauses for a moment, debating the pros and cons before deciding he wants to see his friends. "Alright. Lead the way, spaceman Craig."

"Oh shut up."

Craig drops the broom closer to the counter and springs up. He heads for the door, so Tweek clears his throat. Craig whips around with a glare. "What."

"I have to clean, and ngh review the security footage."

"Uuuuuuughhh." 

They make it to Tolkiens an hour later, and Tweek gets covered in confetti instantly. He may or may not have screamed when they yelled Happy Birthday.

It was a little weird, being surrounded by people who had gifts for him and were there to celebrate him but it felt nice. 

He also learned that the thing Clyde was making was a cake, and that he got Tolkien and Jimmy to help at the last minute. It was Clyde's idea and everyone else helped, and Clyde was very adamant about it.

For dinner, they sat around Tolkien's dinner table and ate pizza that his mom had ordered, and Tweek was enthusiastically showing everyone the video of Craig chasing people out of the coffee shop with a broom.

"Craig might act like he hates everyone, but he's really just a softie." Clyde coos.

"Shut the fuck up, Clyde." Craig flips everyone at the table off.

"C-C-Can you s-send th-that video t-to me?" Jimmy is almost in tears from how hard he was laughing. "I w-want to p-post it everywhere."

Craig bangs his hands on the table and shoots up, green eyes locked on Tweek with furry. "Tweek, I'll fucking cut off your balls." 

"Nuh-uh! You'll have to go through me!" Clyde yells and throws himself at Tweek.

"Yeah, I'll call the police on you." Tolkien is wheezing, eyes still glued on Tweek's phone. 

"You can't gah be mean to me! It's my birthday!" Tweek counters.

Craig lets out a groan and throws himself back in his chair and now Clyde is laughing to tears too. "Tweek, you are literally the best addition. I love watching Craig get his shit handed to him." 

Craig pulls his hat over his head and is grumbling to himself. The feeling of victory as he pouts is short as Tweek quickly changes the topic to Clyde's cake. Everyone instantly jumps from Tweek's phone and to Clyde bouncing up and away from Tweek and towards the kitchen.

"Jimmy, Clyde, can you help me?!" And the two are gone into the kitchen too.

Tweek looks at Craig still pouting off in the corner. If it wasn't for him staring he might've missed the soft thank you Craig had let out. "We're practically besties now. Ack next thing you'll know I get to hug you." Craig flips Tweek off in response. 

The rest of the night is spent playing video games in Tolkien's basement. They end up all falling asleep in his basement. It's funny because when Tweek wakes up sandwiched between Clyde and Craig, he can’t stop laughing when he thinks about how this would be better than the video to ruin Craig's life.

For the rest of the summer, Tweek finds his friends popping into Tweek Bros. Thankfully none of them attempt to jump behind the counter. Craig does it to make a joke, but Tweek pulls out the broom and threatens to smack him if he comes any closer. On days when Tweek's parents are in, they steal Tweek away for some antics. 

One odd night they end up at Stark's Pond skipping stones, and it's also the day there's a sudden shift in Craig's gang.

Tweek and Craig are sitting on the bench. Jimmy ended up not coming along and went home early, which was probably for the best as Clyde had dragged Tolkien into Stark's Pond to fish for coins. This is the moment Tweek realizes he's staring a little too much at the shirtless Clyde who's headfirst into Stark's Pond. 

"So… Do you regret sitting with us yet?" Craig drawls. 

When Tweek turns to Craig in bewilderment and fear he sees the boy is still staring out into the pond. "Ack?! What are you talking about?" 

Craig turns to look at Tweek for a moment before turning back to the pond. "I said what I said."

"Why would I gah regret sitting with you guys?!"

"Didn't you used to be friends with Stan's gang? Besties with Butters? Don't you miss them?"

Tweek pauses for a moment. It almost sounds like Craig is provoking Tweek, and suddenly the hostility from the beginning makes sense. "Gah. I'm not going to ditch you guys for anyone else. You guys are way ack cooler and Clyde was right, I'm definitely gah your perfect match." Tweek teases.

He jumps when Craig punches him in the shoulder. "I'm serious. If you ever hurt Clyde's feelings I'll kick your ass again."

"Gah You did not kick my ass."

"I did too. "

Tweek rolls his eyes and turns back to the pond. "But don't worry, I won't hurt you guys. I feel at home here."

"...Wow, you didn't even twitch."

"Oh gah shut it."

When school hits Tweek notes their relationship turns from Fred and Shaggy to that of Velma and Daphne. Almost like their relationship was from their spinoff movie, and it feels nice instead of being five seconds from the two of them reenacting their third-grade fight.

It was smooth sailing for Craig and those guys from then on, Tweek is now a part of them.

Tweek and Craig were even getting along so well, that in January for Craig's birthday Tweek brought in cupcakes with the guidance of Clyde on what flavors and designs to do.

Tweek wonders if it was that moment that caused the assembly that happened the next month. Wendy at the podium, showing a slideshow of art of Tweek and Craig together, romantically. Tweek feels like he's about to have a panic attack. How did people know he was gay?! Was it the cupcakes?! Did people notice he was generally staring toward Craig because he usually sits next to Clyde?! He's thankful he's not the only one appalled and yelling, and that Craig is also confused. 

Then the whole town thinks they're dating. The thing that's Tweek’s saving grace is that Craig definitely thinks Tweek is straight and that South Park is just full of lunatics.

They stage a fight, one that Tweek accidentally takes too far and makes it worse for Craig. In the end, they talk it out, which actually went horribly, but he gets a text from him that night. Be around CtPaTown tomorrow or I'm gonna kick your ass a third time.

When Tweek finds Craig the next day, his hand is held out wordlessly to the blonde, and green eyes feel like they stare into his soul. Wondering if his words reached Craig, and if it was about him or about the town, Tweek takes his hand wordlessly. It shouldn't be surprising, but it was a shock that the other boy seemed so cold yet his hand was soft and warm in Tweek's. They end up walking back to Tweek's house as the yaoi artists and other townees stare at them as they go. 

People even stare at them through Tweek's window as he sets up Assassins Creed on his PlayStation. He shutters at the thought of this is how it's going to be as he hands Craig his only controller. 

"Don't you wanna play?" Craig stares at the controller for a moment before looking at Tweek.

He hears some awes from outside his window and he stands up and marches over. "Nah. I've played ack through this game so much. I'll just sit and watch, besides, gah, we should ack talk, and if I'm distracted we won't." He closes the curtains and lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "God I gah hope that stops."

"It will, they'll get bored eventually," Craig mumbles and turns his attention to the screen. "Until then I guess we're stuck like this." 

"Gah what if we're stuck in this relationship forever?!" Tweek flops next to Craig and starts pulling on his hair.

Craig gives his arm a gentle smack. "Dude seriously. You're gonna bald. Also eventually they have to get a new ship or something, we can't stay stuck like this forever." Craig turns to Tweek with a smile. "Besides. By high school, we can definitely call it off then if not sooner."

It's odd, Tweek doesn't ever think he's seen Craig smile so genuinely before. "Rrrr okay." He takes his hands out of his hair and starts tugging on his sleeve. He turns to the screen to watch the opening cutscene and waits until it's over before he finally speaks about the thought plaguing his mind. "You should ack probably know though... I am gah actually gay." It's quiet, and the sound of Craig starting up a new save file makes the air feel awkward. "I get if gah that makes you uncomfortable—"

"You're okay." Craig shakes his head. "Besides… this whole thing is definitely making me question it."  When Tweek turns over, he notices pink dusting Craig's cheeks. "So… how exactly did you know… who was it?"

Craig turns his head and their eyes meet. It's definitely embarrassing. To tell the guy he is currently fake dating that he probably has a crush on his childhood friend. Not like it matters anymore. Tweek lets out an awkward laugh. "Let's just say I saw someone shirtless."

"Oh. Cool."

They spend the rest of the time playing Assassins Creed. Well, Craig's playing. Tweek gets to sit beside Craig and make the other boy listen to him as he talks in detail about the lore and other small details around the game that he misses or walks by. 

The next couple of weeks at school are weird for the two. People are staring at them constantly, and it's enough to send Tweek into a panic one time at lunch due to someone coming up to them and asking them to kiss. Craig ended up jumping up out of his seat and whaling on the kid, and their friends all covered for them saying he said a slur so no one, well, none of them got in trouble when they took Tweek to the nurse's office to calm down.

It was definitely a weird transition. Tweek had to quickly shovel whatever he felt for Clyde deep into a hole. He kept himself from looking at Clyde and turned his gaze to Craig instead when he felt the urge. Especially when Tweek doesn't think Craig's ever even patted him on the back, and now they're walking down the calls of South Park Elementary holding hands every day. Especially when not even a year ago Tweek was still thinking of their relationship in Scooby-Doo terms. Which, he still is. They're Velma and Shaggy at the moment, and Tweek is obviously Velma.

About two weeks into this ordeal Tweek feels like he's going insane. All of his free time is now going to Craig. It's things like them just sitting in each other's rooms doing homework, or sitting down and playing video games on the PS5 with each other. Craig is walking Tweek back home like he usually does, and Tweek is gripping Craig's hand tight.

"Dude, my hand."

"Nghh… sorry..." Tweek only ends up squeezing tighter. In hopes the pressure will ground him enough to tell Craig he's going to kill him if they spend any more time together.

"Tweek, seriously, my hand." Craig tugs his arm a bit.

"Nghhh…. I think… we should spend less time together!" Tweek ends up screaming. 

People around them gasp. Craig returns the handgrip and begins walking faster, dragging Tweek along with him. "Okay, clearly you have something on your mind." he snaps. "Can we talk about this at your house before the rain comes out of nowhere?" No. Tweek wants to cry but instead, he nods. Craig's grip is the only thing keeping Tweek from what feels like he might stress-puke over the stares they're getting. 

They walk faster than they usually would and bust through Tweek's front door. Craig makes a point of slamming it behind him. Tweek distances himself from Craig only to see the look of anger painting the other boy's face. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sorry!" Tweek cries. "I felt like I was ngh going insane?" Craig narrows his eyes for a moment. He opens his mouth and pauses with a word on the tip of his tongue. He takes a deep breath, then gestures for Tweek to continue. "Spending time with you is cool ack, and ngh I get it, but man, I want to do things gah myself sometimes." 

Craig lets out a loud, annoyed groan. "I do too. But I'm sucking it up and spending time with you still."

"But I am gah going to go insane if I spend more time with you." Craig flips Tweek off. "Not like that, have you ever heard of ack me time?!"

Craig pinches his brow. "Well, you definitely can't now. I can feel my phone blowing up in my pocket!" 

Tweek pulls at the end of his hair. It feels like his sight is blurring. "I'm sorry! Ack I wasn't thinking, I'm just tired of watching you play Assassin's Creed, playing ngh Assassin's Creed, watching YouTube ack videos after finishing English—"

"Dude." The feel of hands around his wrists slightly tugging them out of his hair has him grounded back to reality. "Look, I get it. Just take some deep breaths. We can figure some way around this." Craig pulls back his head and looks away grumbling. "Sorry for snapping." 

"Ack No, I'm sorry. I'm definitely just freaking out. I miss ngh painting, and baking." Tweek sighs and drops his hands. 

"If you want, we can do something like that today. You sound like you need it—"

"But—"

"No, dude seriously. You sound like you've been locked in my basement for days." Craig snorts. "I'll just keep myself company." 

Craig is speeding up the stairs before Tweek can even respond. Tweek watches him go for a minute, before letting out a groan and following suit. 

They end up sitting in Tweek's room doing homework until they finish, then Craig forces Tweek off his own bed so he could watch videos by himself. Tweek ends up at his desk, picking up his sketchbook and drawing the stoic Craig looking down at his phone.

At some point, Craig looks up. "You know, we could always lie to people and say we're playing Minecraft— are you drawing me?"

"Agh I… am…"

Craig blinks. "Can I see?" 

Tweek hesitantly turns his sketchbook over to Craig who gives it once over. The lack of emotion makes Tweek feel like combusting on the spot. "You're really good at drawing."

"Oh gah uhm, thank you." Tweek pulls it pack and locks eyes with Craig. "That sounds pretty good, then you can gah do whatever you want at home."

"Good. I've been recording Red Racer."

He definitely expected Craig to be mad at him for the rest of the month, or even yell at him for being sketched, so that was a nice surprise.

From there on they designated every Saturday as the day they go out publicly to make people happy. They still spend time together, sometimes with the Minecraft excuse and other times legitimately just to keep up appearances.

They went from indifferent to 'dating' in less than a year and Tweek knows he's definitely going to take some time to get used to it. Like the one day, Craig decided to lean on Tweek at lunch after he failed his history test. That had their friends gasping. 

The more time Tweek ends up spending with Craig, the more he realizes this guy is just a nerd.

He realized it the day he came over to take Craig up on his offer. “Red Racer is having a marathon from the beginning this Saturday. You want to watch it with me?” and Tweek was almost too stunned to say yes. Jimmy, Tolkien, and Clyde were eyeing the two. He muttered out a sure and Craig went back to eating his sandwich as if nothing had ever happened. Jimmy tried cracking a joke about it too, but Craig gave Jimmy this stare and the boy shut up rather quickly. 

Craig made a plan. They would go get Tweek things on Friday after school and come back to Craigs to sleep and for dinner. Then they would wake up at seven in the morning to catch the start, and Craig texted Tweek a schedule of the program, including times of when they could get snacks, washroom breaks, every commercial break, outro, car loading scene, everything. He had it planned down to a T.

It felt like something Tweek would do out of anxiety, it was almost inspiring. 

The only awkward thing was Tweek had never meant Craig’s family before. It wasn’t until they were at the door Craig decided to tell Tweek he got his family to leave all day Saturday, but not Friday. As Craig swung open the door he was looking at an orange-haired girl sitting on the Tucker’s couch who is now staring at Tweek with a big smile on her face. 

“Oh my god! It’s the man of the hour finally.”

“Tricia, I swear to god you said you’d be in your room.”

“After dinner.” Tweek doesn’t get a moment to take off his shoes before Craig’s sister is grabbing his hand and dragging him away. Tweek looks to Craig for assistance but the boy is just taking off his shoes nonchalantly before he disappears beyond the stairs.

Tweek is being sat in a bean bag, clutching his Tweek Bros. tote bag, scared out of his mind with a little girl towering over him. “So, have you and my brother ever kissed?”

“WHAT?!”

“Craig doesn’t tell me anything about you guys! And I’d love to know, I don’t know if you know this but all the girls in my grade are big fans of you. They come around your shop all the time!” 

What. Girls in her grade are what now. Tweek clutches his bag a little tighter. “Ack y-you’re… kidding right?”

“Absolutely not. Karen is going to be so jealous, and we’re going to rub it into Cindy’s face when you spill—”

Tweek’s facing the door, so he sees it before he hears the bang of Craig opening the door. “Patricia Ruby Tucker. What did I say yesterday about what you wouldn’t do?” Tricia turns to face Craig, and Tweek can make out her flipping him off. Craig walks into the room and Tricia turns to him completely only to get her face entirely grabbed by Craig. Tweek watches, a little confused and afraid as Craig pushes Tricia back by her head as something she tries to say is muffled by Craig’s palm. “Tweek, go to my room.”

Tweek is already on his feet and walking away from the pink monstrosity of Craig’s sister's room. He looks back to see Craig throwing his sister, by the face, on the bean bag he was just sitting on. Tweek wonders if that is safe and if Tricia is okay, before turning away and running to Craig’s room. He’s closing the door behind him and sitting on Craig’s bed immediately. Processing what just happened, and the information he just received. He’s pulling on threads of the tote bag with his head full of wondering if some second-grade girl has a fan cam of him on Twitter. He looks up at Craig’s ceiling that’s plastered with glow-in-the-dark stars and takes a deep breath. He places the bag down beside the bed and stares at the door. Wondering how long it's been, and if Craig killed his sister. 

Tweek doesn’t have a sibling, but he wonders if that's how they usually act. He’s also never seen Craig be able to fully grab someone's face before with his hand. Craig seemed prepared to behead his sister, for whatever they talked about before. Oh god , did Craig know second graders idolized him?! Tweek takes another deep breath and pulls out his phone, opening up Tik Tok and scrolling through to distract him. 

He’s already lost in some conspiracy video by the time Craig comes into his room with a red handprint on his cheek. Tweek drops his phone on the bed. “Jesus, are you okay?!”

“Yeah. Sorry that it took so long. I told Tricia to try and not freak you out the first time she met you.” He lets out a sigh and sits beside Tweek on his bed. “I told her I was going to shave her dolls if she freaked you out.”

“Oh gah god don’t tell me you shaved her dolls.”

“Nah. Delimbed a few though, so she slapped me.” Craig turns to look at Tweek. The look in his eyes is enough to tell Tweek he’s serious, which makes Tweek feel awful.

“Oh god is your sister going to hate ack me because you ruined her dolls ack because I don’t like meeting new people oh god—”

“Tweek, relax.” Craig’s hand is now awkwardly patting Tweek’s head. Tweek is awkwardly shifting away as slowly as he can while Craig watches with no real expression change. 

“So… is what she said true? Are the ngh second-grade girls really fans of us?!”

Craig looks away. “Well… not us… you… specifically…” Craig mumbles.

“WHAT?!”

“Tweek, don’t freak out, but—”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON’T FREAK OUT?! I’M LIKE SOME SORT OF IDOL OR SOMETHING TO SEVEN YEARS OLDS?!” 

“Well. You’re more like an anime character if that makes you feel better.” Craig offers Tweek a forced smile, and Tweek is already reaching up and pulling at his hair. Before his hands even make it Craig is grabbing his wrists. “They think your personality is cool, and they just want to watch you be you. It’s nothing bad, they’re just like the Asian girls but less sexual about us. They write fanfic and draw pictures.” Craig sighs and drops Tweek’s hands. “I didn’t want Tricia to tell you because I had a feeling you’d freak out about it for days. I can show you some of the things if you want.”

“Nghh… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I get it. I just didn’t want you to think my sister is a weirdo.” Craig shrugs.

They spend the next two hours going through a bunch of the fanworks Craig’s sister sent him. Something they’ve done before, but it’s weird to think that this is still going on and from people younger than them no doubt.

They stop when Craig’s mom knocks on the door to tell them it’s dinner. That’s when it finally hits the blonde that he is eating dinner with Craig’s full family. It’s definitely too late to start fully panicking unless he wants to look like a fool in front of the Tuckers, so Tweek ends up tugging on the bottom of his shirt as they exit the room.

When he sits down next to Craig at the dinner table, it feels like everyone is staring at him. When he looks up, everyone is in fact staring at him. ‘Oh god, is there something on my face?!’

Craig looks away and down at his plate. “No honey, my family is just being rude."

Tweek bites down on his lip. Oh GOD, I SAID THAT OUT LOUD?! Tweek feels like he's practically vibrating in his seat with his anxiety. Craig's mom breaks the silence. "Sorry. It's just odd, Craig always told us he never wanted us to meet you. So I never thought I'd get the chance to meet the boy that makes my little Craig smile so much!"

"Mom." Craig snaps.

"Sorry, sorry. Oh well. Let's stop freaking Tweek out and eat, shall we?" Mrs. Tucker picks up her fork with an awkward smile and Tweek is thankful someone in this family seemed nice the first time he met them.

"Okay, but, I just want to know, who asked who ou—"

"Patricia." Craig snaps once more, not even looking away from his plate as he picks up his utensils. 

Tweek looks down at his plate. Mrs. Tucker made spaghetti and meatballs, and he's panicking over the idea of the meatballs. While Craig knows his family is Buddhist, he doesn't think Craig knows that means he's vegan, by extension neither does his family. He doesn't want to seem mean or picky but at the same time, he can't eat that meat. He blinks and looks around only to realize everyone around him is eating, and Mr. Tucker is still looking at him. He picks up his fork and opts to pick around them hoping he won't seem rude.

It's mainly silent until Mrs. Tucker speaks up. "So kids, how was school today?"

Tricia grins. "Today Ike, Karen, and I got put in a group together. We had to go against the group Firke got put into and boy was it funny. I think he tried to curse us after."

Tweek understood none of that. "Well, I sure hope you don't rub that curse off on the rest of us." Mr. Tucker grumbles.

Tricia flips him off, and Tweek watches on in horror as Mr. Tucker flips her off back, then Mrs. Tucker flips off her husband and Mr. Tucker flips her off in return. What did he just witness?

"And how about you Craig? Tweek? How was school today?" Mrs. Tucker smiles as if nothing just happened.

"Today Clyde got stuck in a tree during recess, and he cried about it," Craig grumbles.

Tweek suppresses a laugh, remembering it from earlier. "I-I think ack he c-cried more b-because you gah were y-yelling at him."

Craig snaps his head up to Tweek. "It's not my fault he's an idiot! He could've jumped down without the theatrics!"

"Y-You didn't have to gah tell him y-you'd ack c-catch him then w-walk away when he j-jumped."

"I sure hope he's okay." Mrs. Tucker frowns.

"H-He'd be better if ack Craig caught him." Tweek laughs. 

"He had it coming." Craig rolls his eyes and looks back down at the table.

"Well, why didn't you catch him, Tweekers?" Mr. Tucker grumbles and Tweek feels himself freezing up. 

"Gah, w-well I—"

"Clyde declared that only I could catch him. Best friend bond, or something along those lines. Tolkien tried to but Clyde cried even harder, also, it's Tweek." Craig finished for him.

It went quiet after that, and something about the silence made Tweek feel like he was going to throw up.

Once they were all done eating, Tweek had already cleared his plate besides the meatballs. Mr. Tucker takes one look and opens his mouth immediately. "Aren't you going to finish that, son?"

Oh god. "I-I'm ack Buddhist."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He narrows his eyes.

Oh god oh god. Before Tweek can explain himself, Tricia does it for him. "Buddhists don't eat meat."

"I didn't know that." Craig looks at Tweek, and he almost looks like he's pouting. 

"I'm so sorry dear. I didn't know you were vegetarian!" Mrs. Tucker is Tweek's saving grace at this table. "It's okay, I don't think Craig minds extras."

Craig gives Tweek a look before the blonde gives a weak nod, then the noiret is stabbing the meatballs and unhinging his jaw. "Gah I'm sorry. I don't r-really ack tell people."

"Don't feel bad. If Craig had a brain cell he'd probably know by now. Literally, everyone in my grade knows you don't eat meat." Tricia rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone.

Craig flips her off, and she returns the gesture. "Craig, don't flip your sister off." Mr. Tucker is then flipped off by Craig, and he returns the gesture back.

Is this why Craig didn't want me to meet his family? Mr. Tucker clears his throat, and Tweek snaps out of his thoughts and towards Craig's dad. "So, Tweek. What are your intentions with my son, exactly?"

"Thomas, we said you weren't going to bring this up!" Mrs. Tucker is smacking her husband's arm.

"Well! The last time they broke up Craig seemed really sad. I just don't want it happening again."

"Dad, do you pay attention at all? They broke up last time because Craig cheated on him!" Tricia pipes up.

Tweek can't believe Tricia remembers that. He turns his attention to Craig, unsure of what to do, who still has a mouth full of meatballs, and otherwise is still rocking his normal stoic expression.

"Well. What if that wasn't the case, you never know!"

Tweek feels overwhelmed. "NggggghIamgoingtogotothewashroom! " Tweek blurts out and jumps up from his seat. He's already sprinting away from the table before anyone can react, and up the stairs as his body starts to shake. 

He locks himself in the bathroom and sinks to the floor, and starts tugging on his hair. Does Mr. Tucker hate him? Does Mr. Tucker think it's actually his fault what happened last year? Does he know?! Does Craig's sister know?! Oh god, his whole family thinks I'm some weird attention seeker, don't they?! Oh god are we going to break up again and everyone's going to get sad and Mr. Tucker and Tricia are going to blame me?!

He lets out a yelp when a gentle knock breaks him out of his thoughts. "Tweek, are you okay in there?" Thankfully it's just Craig. Tweek still doesn't respond, he doesn't feel up to it. "I'm sorry about them, I told them to try and be normal for once around you, I was really hoping they wouldn't freak you out." Before Tweek can spiral into what that means, he hears the sound of something sliding down the door and a thud. "I don't mean that in a bad way, of course, my family is just a lot to handle. They freak me out sometimes too."

"Gah I'm sorry." Tweek chokes out.

"Don't be. It's not your fault my dad's an asshole and my sister is a freak."

"They just gah seem a little unique."

Craig chuckles from the other side of the door. "I get it if you want to go home or something, I can always—"

That has Tweek taking his hands out of his hair. "What?! Man no way." Tweek moves away from the door to swing it open, watching as Craig nearly stumbles as he does. "Clyde literally ngh stuck himself in a tree because he was so upset you asked me to watch Red Racer with you first. There's no way I'd ack miss this, what would the town think?! Our friends think?!"

Craig's lips turn into a sad smile before he opens his mouth and his expression goes back to normal. "I mean, I'd get it. It's a pretty boring show anyway."

"Nnnnggno way man. Even if I leave I'd be working, and watching Red Racer with you sounds ngh way cooler."

Mr. Tucker's voice echoes up the stairs before Craig can even express anything towards Tweek’s last sentence. "If Tweek is still sleeping over your door better be open!"

Craig rolls his eyes. "You still sure?"

Tweek nods.

They spend the rest of the night in Craig's room, Tweek still a little freaked out by Craig's dad and sister to go back down. The two end up playing Among Us on their phones till they pass out.

Then they wake up to Craig's blaring alarm. Or rather Tweek wakes up, Craig is already awake and is walking into his room in time with the alarm.

Craig pulls Tweek downstairs, still half asleep, sits him in front of the TV, and hands him a plate of waffles. Craig ends up talking a lot about what to expect before it hits seven and he turns the TV on.

Tweek doesn't think he ever saw Craig look so enamored by something before, as he watches in awe just the first opening. It's the first time Tweek ever admitted to himself Craig is kind of cute.

He flusteredly turns his attention to the TV.

Throughout the whole marathon, Tweek can see why Craig really likes the show. He can also see why people might think it's boring. It's more like a kiddy TV show that was somehow marketed towards teenagers. It has its moments, and Tweek definitely started paying attention when the villain, the Black Racer, appears on screen because his actor was kind of cute. When he first took off his helmet and ran his fingers through the black locks of hair, Tweek knew he was about to become a Red Racer fan. Craig would also catch him up on things he was confused about or weren't stated in the show during the break. Tweek nodded along and listened intently since a lot of it was about how the Black and Red Racer used to be friends, how Black and Blue used to be rivals, and all of the things that made Tweek think this show was silently gay. And that Black and Red should kiss. 

That was just one of their many Saturday dates. A couple more months of this and the two get a lot more comfortable with each other. Tweek does not attempt any returns to the Tucker household, however. So one Saturday, Craig told Tweek to prepare a picnic basket.

"I still don't ack see why you couldn't gah make the basket," Tweek grumbles as they walk through town. Basket sandwiches between them as they both use one hand to hold the handle.

"Because if I made food we would both die. I am bad at cooking."

"You'll just have to get gah better!" Tweek huffs.

"Sure, honey." The two both stop walking. 

"What did you j—"

"Shut up. It didn't happen."

Tweek snorts. "What? Ngggh Did you hear somewhere couples call each other pet names?"

"Oh my god shut up."

"Ngh Whatever you say, honey." Craig snaps his head to Tweek who sticks out his tongue.

Craig is red in the face and begins to walk again pulling Tweek with him by the basket. "...My dad ended up talking to me about pet names. I just thought it'd help, y'know.." Craig kicks a stone, and Tweek can't help but laugh.

"Gah it's kind of cute. Never thought guh I'd hear Craig 'fuck you' Tucker call me a gah pet name though."

"Oh shut up! I can be romantic!"

"I was talking about the gah year where you ngh wanted to kill me because you thought I bad talked your guinea pig."

When Tweek eyes Craig, he sees that the other boy is looking away from him. He decides to let the rest of the walk be silent. Even as they enter the woods Tweek wants to freak out and ask Craig if he's going to kill him. Thankfully, he doesn't. He leads him to some hill that's overlooking some of the houses in South Park. The two wordlessly set up the blanket and pull out the food, before sitting down and looking out into the sea of dots walking around.

"Rrr so how'd you ngh know about this place?" Tweek asks as he pours himself coffee into the lid of his thermos.

"I like to come here and stargaze."

Tweek stops pouring to give Craig his attention. "You ngh star gaze?!"

"I love the stars and space." Craig's eyes are sparkling, and his face, though still stoic, almost seems like it's glowing. "If you want I could show you some constellations when it gets darker. I know a few by heart."

It's the first time Tweek has ever seen Craig Tucker beaming with joy. "Sure."

Tweek ends up shifting the topic to pet names for the remainder of their lunch and by the end Craig initiates a snowball fight to get Tweek to shut up. It lasts them until nightfall when they end up laying down facing the stars and Craig points out constellations he knows and gives his strong opinion on light pollution. 

At one point Tweek turns to Craig only to see the boy enamored with the stars as he prattles on about space nebulas. Tweek finds it hard to believe this is the same kid who told everyone he had explosive diarrhea just to piss him off. Also, the same kid who insists he kicked Tweek's ass twice as if Tweek would lose to some space nerd.

Once it gets colder they pack up leftovers and wrap the blanket around them as Tweek walks Craig home, since his house is closer. Craig is still talking about constellations and Tweek is content listening to how he explains the zodiac ones until they're about two blocks from Craig's house. "I didn't gah know you knew so much about ngh space." Tweek comments and he tries his best not to bump into Craig as they walk.

"I don't really talk about it a lot. I did once to Clyde, but then he called me a nerd and I just kinda keep it to my room now." 

"Well, ngh it is kind of nerdy of you, but in a cool way. You gah should talk about it more. It's interesting."

"...You really think so?"

"Yeah. Ngh where else would I learn the star Cassiopeia is a gah vain queen who ngh pissed off Poseidon for calling his nymphs ugly."

"Holy shit you were listening."

"Why ngh wouldn't I be?"

They make it to Craig's house at that moment. Craig simply shrugs it off, and unravels himself from the blanket burrito they were walking in. "Well… thank you. Sorry I went on about space, but it was cool of you to let me."

"Gah don't apologize. I enjoyed it, honey."

Craig turns on his heel and swings open his door. He doesn't do it fast enough to hide the way his face went bright red. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow honey!" He enters his house and slams his door all too fast for Tweek to respond.

Tweek stands there for a moment, smiling to himself before he finally turns from their porch and heads home. He's surprised to see a text from Craig when he finally wraps himself into his blankets. Up until this point, their texts were business and left no room for conversations.

Does this mean you've been paying attention to Red Racer. 

of course?? the sexual tension between red and blue and red and black is too hard to ignore.

I've… never thought about it like that before.

In the end they end up staying up talking about Red Racer lore. And after some google searches, Tweek learned about OTPs and headcanons. When the sun rises, Tweek is still awake. He ends up packing himself a bigger thermos of coffee. He's surprised to see Craig sitting on his steps, not so surprised to see the other boy is also looking like death. 

When Tweek closes his door Craig stands up and gives Tweek a weak smile. "I think I might have to start a coffee addiction like you?" He holds out his hand expectantly. 

"Gah Don't. It's not like every day you find someone else gah who likes your interest." Tweek puts his hand into Craig's and the two start off. 

He feels Craig tighten his grip on his hand. Craig is looking down at the ground, and in hopes of easing his mind, Tweek squeezes Craig's hand. "Oh… uh... I just realized.. we do a lot of what I want to do… we should go out and do something you like next Saturday."

Oh. "Would you… nngh want to maybe bake with me next week?"

“Yeah. Your house?”

"Nghh Sounds good, Babe."

"Oh my god let it die."

"Nn no!"

In the end, as days passed, the pet names stuck. Surprisingly, it was Craig who kept them coming. There was a day at lunch when Clyde and Jimmy mercilessly teased Craig until Craig jumps across the table and headbutts Clyde.

And Craig's gestures get a little more comfortable. From him wrapping his arms around his waist or shoulders, there was one time in sixth grade at Tolkien's where Tolkien and Clyde brought over their girlfriends and Craig dragged Tweek into his lap.

Then Garrison becomes the president, Tweek finds his passion for playing the piano, and Craig takes the moment to finally understand and talk to Tweek. It starts out with Craig being aggressive and a little annoyed, but Tweek looks back and likes to think Craig took the time to figure out what exactly Tweek needed.

It's definitely the moment Tweek realizes he stares at Craig way too much. He never thought the kid who punched him in the eye would be the same kid who figured out how to help him through sorting out his feelings. The same one who would push him towards the piano.

It makes him feel a bit overwhelmed. He spends all his time with Craig, so of course, it wouldn’t be surprising if he felt something towards Craig… right? It’s just the cycle of him having spent the last couple of years with him. He starts walking down the path of denial, becoming way too aware that they’re fake dating. 

In seventh grade, they’re holding hands on the walk home one day. The two are heading to Tweek’s house, and Craig said he would help the boy bake. His hand is warm. “You know, I ack hope when I date someone for real they’re as nice as you.” He blurts out instead.

Craig tightens his hold. “What?”

“Yeah, I ack think about it a lot. You’re such a good fake boyfriend, I hope when I get a real one they’re as nice to me as you are.”

Craig lets out a hum, and he goes silent for the rest of the walk home. Tweek is too aware of when their hands brush while they bake a cake for their Saturday date. This starts the floodgates, whenever they do something they normally would, like watching Red Racer, playing Minecraft, or holding hands, Tweek makes a comment about how he hopes an actual boyfriend will do the same. Pushing down the warm feeling he’s feeling when it happens, and the silent wishes that his actual boyfriend would be Craig when he starts to realize it.

Without realizing it, he puts a sort of barrier between the two of them.

In eighth grade, for the first time, Tweek and Craig are put into separate classes. It's the first time when Tweek realizes that their fake relationship could finally end on reasonable terms. It brings him slight joy, even if for some reason the idea of breaking up with Craig makes his body feel numb.

It's also the first year Tweek makes a friend outside of Craig and those guys. Kenny McCormick. During class Kenny, Tweek and Clyde are often sitting in the back talking about whatever Kenny brings to the table today. He weasels his way into their lunch table every now and again. He likes to flirt with Tweek to piss Craig off.

One day Kenny even jokes about how he could kiss better than Craig. The moment he grabs Tweek's face to prove it, Craig is already grabbing the back of the boy's coat to drag him away from Tweek and onto the floor, where he successfully breaks Kenny's nose.

He lands himself in detention for a week and gets grounded, and it's the first week in a while where Tweek doesn't spend his Saturday or after-school hours with Craig. He doesn't even get to come over for Red Racer Sunday.

Despite the fact that Craig beat Kenny up, the blonde still sits at their table all week. He's less touchy with Tweek, and finally gets himself involved in conversations with Jimmy and Tolkien, hitting it off with Jimmy when he starts talking about his... magazine collection.

It's Monday when Tweek and Craig finally spend time together after school. The two fall into an abnormal silence as they sit across from each other on Craig's bed.

Until Craig finally speaks. "Do you want to stage the fake breakup?"

The familiar numbness associated with this thought comes back tenfold. "W-What? Agh I thought we were g-gonna ack wait until high school?"

"Yeah but, I can't help but feel like it's standing in the way of you and Kenny."

"Ack me and Kenny?! " Tweek bites on his bottom lip. "I'm not agh into Kenny?"

"What if I'm holding you back from someone else though?" Craig puts down his notes and starts crawling towards Tweek.

Tweek grips tightly to his notes. "You're not ack holding me back from anyone!" 

"And why's that?" Craig stops when he's about an inch or so from Tweek.

Tweek's thoughts range from thinking about how close Craig is to why would their fake relationship hold him back? What other relationship would he want to pursue? Why does his mind keep rounding back to Craig, no matter what he's thinking about at this moment?! Why was he sad about the idea of their shtick ending when he was thinking the same thing himself not too long ago?!

Tweek jumps a little when Craig finally closes the gap. 

Tweek's been telling people his first kiss was Craig for years. So the idea that his first kiss really was Craig doesn't seem to surprise him. The fact that it's happening at this moment? Is driving Tweek up the walls. 

Tweek jumps back at the sound of a gasp. The two turn their head to the door to see Tricia standing there, phone in hand. "MOM! TWEEK AND CRAIG ARE HAVING SEX!"

Tricia is sprinting down the hallways, and Craig is taking off after her. "WE WERE FUCKING NOT."

"YES YOU WERE!"

Tweek's hands are shaking. It's not in an anxious way, or too much coffee way either. He doesn't exactly know why he's shaking. The distant sounds of Craig and Tricia wrestling are accompanying Tweek's realization that he wants to kiss Craig Tucker again. That somewhere down the line of their fake relationship, Tweek began to like Craig Tucker.

The realization is short-lived when he hears the sound of a door being slammed. He looks over to see Craig out of breath, clutching his chullo in one hand, and a barbie doll in the other. Tweek doesn't think he'll ever get over the view of hatless Craig.

Tweek is dumb. He is so dumb.

"Tweek Tweak. I like you a lot. I want you to be my real boyfriend. I thought I'd be fine with letting you go and spread your wings but I don't want to let you go." There's banging on the door and Craig stumbles forward. 

"Craig—!"

"PATRICA RUBY TUCKER DO YOU FUCKING MIND." A flush is going up Craig's face, and Tweek watches him straighten his posture as the banging stops through a blurry vision. "Tweek? Oh god did I do something wrong?"

"I think I'm agh overwhelmed right now." Tweek reaches up to touch his cheek. Tears are streaming down his face. "I'm ack not saying no though."

"Y-You're not?"

“I’m not.”

“Oh.” A smile paints itself across Craig’s face. "Oh." Craig drops his hat and presumably Tricia’s doll to move over and sit beside Tweek. "Do you need water or something? Are you okay?"

Tweek lets out a weak laugh. "I'm ack okay " 

"...Can I hug you…?" Craig leans a little closer. Tweek nods.

Craig's arms wrap around him, for once it's grounding, and it's warm.

"Sorry for overwhelming you."

"It's okay. It was gah worth it."

"Was it?"

"Yeah…. I'm ack dating you now, finally."

Craig squeezes a bit tighter. 

It's silent until Tweek finally calms down, still wrapped in Craig's arms. "I was genuinely worried you didn't like me back, for a couple of months." Craig sighed. 

Tweek paused. Then he thought about how for the last couple of months he was in hard denial. He let out a laugh. "I was ack denial. For sure."

It's a couple more moments of silence. Craig squeezes Tweek a bit before he breaks it. "So...  I can kiss you again, right?"

Tweek snorts and kisses Craig himself as a response. There's a loud knocking at the door that makes them jump apart. "ARE YOU GUYS DONE FUCKING YET CAN WE EAT DINNER NOW?!"

Craig groans.

Now officially dating, the two cross a thin line they didn't realize they were behind. It's a bit more obvious as they get into high school.

They cuddle now for one, and Craig no longer has a strong urge to throw Kenny into orbit. He still however clenches his fists and shoots the blonde dirty looks every so often. They hold hands under the tables at lunch, and they've become a lot more open with each other. Craig tells Tweek about his emotions a lot more and voices his opinions on how much he hates the Tweaks. Tweek on the other hand allows himself to be a bit more clingy, stealing Craig's sweaters, texting him almost daily, and feeling comfortable around Craig’s family for once . 

It's still as though nothing has changed for anyone else, or for them, and the two never voice that they like it that way.

It's tenth grade when the normal start to feel challenged. Careers make Tweek rethink everything he's ever thought about. He never knew what he wanted to do, and now we had to do a whole project on his dream job?!

Craig had been thinking about this forever, he never changed his mind, and Tweek knew this. He wanted to work with the stars or something along those lines.

"I could always just ack … take over my ngh parent's business…" Tweek groans. He slams his head into his desk, causing Craig to eye him from where he's scrolling through his phone on the blonde's bed.

"First off, babe, don't do that. Second off, do you even want that?"

"Ugh, I don't ngh know. It'd be easy? I'd still be here, with you."

The air grows a little tense. Tweek turns over to Craig, who has put down his phone. "I... plan on going to college in Denver." Oh. It's the first Tweek is hearing of this. "I also… don't think I'd live in South Park. I'd probably also… live in Denver."

Tweek thinks about it for a moment. "I mean. South Park does suck. Denver sounds nice."

Craig perks up. "...You'd live in Denver with me?"

"I think I've lived my life since fourth grade with the ack idea you'd be in it." 

Tweek has no time to react. Craig is already pulling Tweek's chair over and pulling him into a tight hug. "God. You are just sooooo cute."

Even later in the week, Tweek replays scenarios in his head. In the end, he doesn't think would respond any differently. He wouldn't mind living in Denver if it was with Craig. It's what pushes him towards the idea of actually owning the Tweak Bros. business. He wants to turn it into a cafe, one he could actually extend over to Denver.

It's what makes their graduation so hard, saying goodbye to Craig. Accepted into some fancy college, for aerospace engineering, means he's leaving South Park. They spend the whole week up until then together. A Red Racer marathon, as ordained by Tweek.

The last night the two are cuddled up in Tweek's bed, Craig absentmindedly playing with the blonde mane. "You know…. I'm gonna miss you a lot." Tweek mumbles. Craig sighs.

"I'm gonna miss you too. I might turn into you and start texting you every day." 

Tweek rolls his eyes. "Like I'm so proud of you, for ack getting accepted and doing big things, but man does this suck."

"I'll still come and visit, plus we already decided we'd be playing Minecraft. We have a world of landscapes."

"Yeah... we do."

The Red Racer theme plays in the background as the two snuggle a bit closer than before. "...Besides..." Craig mumbles. "Maybe it'll be good for us. We've spent our whole lives together, a change of pace should be good."

Tweek feels his veins go numb. His nerves are already on end, and the sentence heading in a direction he doesn’t like one bit.  "...Are you… gonna ngh break up with me?" Tweek sits up.

Craig's face pales. "What?! No. Wh— are you going to break up with me?!"

"No?! You just, sounded like you were going too—"

"No! I meant it like, in the same way, people take a break from their family or something! Why would I ever break up with you?! I want to marry you!"

"You just, like, a ngh change of pace— Wait, what?!" Tweek watches as Craig freezes up.

Craig's face turns a bright red. "I.. I... I want to marry you, someday."

"I want to marry you someday, too."  

Craig sits up. "I don't know. I thought maybe one day you'd get tired of me or something? Maybe I was trying to give you an out there, but I— I thought about maybe proposing to you before I left. But I felt like it'd be mean to ask you to wait for me."

"I'd wait for you forever." Tweek's response is instant. One that has green eyes glowing. "I told you, didn't I? I can't picture my life without you."

Craig grins. "When I finally have a real job, I'll give you a real proposal with an actual ring."

"I'll wait for as long as it takes."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Red Racer ends up being long forgotten in the background.

When the morning comes, the two spend an extra-long time hugging and share a simple kiss. Craig’s parting words forever ingrained into Tweek’s mind.

"I'll see you again, Tweek Tucker."