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Summary
After Kyle and Eric disrupt theater class by fighting for the millionth time, a frustrated teacher pulls them aside and punishes them by assigning them an impossible acting challenge; they must convince the school that they are actually in love for a day, or fail the course.
And, well, neither one can afford to fail.
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The bottom line is, Stan doesn’t like him like that. This is purely transactional. It’s a win-win, like he’d said in the closet. The more Kyle thinks about it, the simpler it is.
Stan isn’t at any risk of catching feelings; he’s viewing this entire endeavour as a way to get where he needs to be, and being the decent guy he always has been, wants to ensure Kyle gets something out of it too. He’s overthinking this. Making it harder than it has to be. He always does that.
Having fallen out of friendship through one circumstance or another, Stan and Kyle are forced into a closet together, before they can come stumbling out. Literally, then metaphorically.
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After receiving life-threatening news of a serious health scare, Eric Cartman resorts to his only option to cover the costs of his medical expenses. AKA: Cartman marries Kyle to gain access to his health insurance plan.
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“Do you want to go home?” He questions, leaning close and voice soft, and Will pauses, before nodding again. Mike lets out a breath, and lets his hand press against Will a little more firmly when he starts to sway in place again. “Okay, let’s go.”
Then he looks up and is met with smug faces, and Mike flushes when he realizes his own hypocrisy.
“I don’t talk like that,” Max recalls, voice high-pitched and overly girly and – Mike definitely doesn’t talk like that.
According to everyone in his life, Mike has a voice reserved just for Will. He tries to figure out what that says about him.
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Will needs a date to his mom's wedding. Mike volunteers.
“I have an idea,” says Mike.
Ice cubes form in Will’s stomach. “How dangerous is it? Like, should I call Dustin to talk you down, or should I call Nancy to be ready to drive us to the hospital?”
“No,” says Mike, “you can’t tell anyone or it won’t work.”
“Or what won’t work?” Will asks. It’s like picking up a rock you know a spider will be under.
Mike gets up and closes Will’s door. Hopper doesn’t make them keep it open but sometimes Will does anyway, because every now and then lying around alone with Mike on his bed just makes his chest ache too much. If the door is open he can tell himself You can’t do anything right now, someone will see.
Mike leans back against the door. His eyes are lit up with that special maniacal gleam that the Wheelers get right before they do something insane, like when Nancy says, “Then we have to go kill Vecna ourselves,” or whatever. “Take me to the wedding,” says Mike.
“Yeah,” says Will slowly, “you’ll be at the wedding. Obviously.”
“As your date."
