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the gremlin zone

Summary:

memelord-sensei: i mean i fuckin guess

Yumi: Natsuo!! Language!!

Stop calling me a baby: Didn't you call your curling iron a motherfucking whore because it burned you

Yumi: That was supposed to stay between me and god!!!

memelord-sensei: what god

Notes:

hi yes you did read that right. your beloathed angst and unhappy ending writer is indeed doing a crackfic. i can be funny when i want to be.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

siblings!!!

Fuyumi: Hey!! I know we haven't used this chat in years, but since we can finally start being a family again, I thought it would be nice to restart the group chat ^_^

Natsuo: ok first of all

Natsuo: shouto isnt here

Natsuo: second of all touya IS in here and im not kicking him. you cant make me.

Natsuo: and neither of us wants that kind of reminder whenever we look at the gc member list so we should just make a new one

Natsuo: thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Fuyumi: We can add Shouto!! and honestly having a different chat would feel wrong so I personally kind of want to stay in this one?

Natsuo: fine i guess

Fuyumi: Great!

1 New member was added

Shouto: Hello

Fuyumi: Shouto!! This is an old sibling groupchat that we decided to restart!! So I added you ^_^

Natsuo: hi

Shouto: Thank you for adding me Fuyumi

Fuyumi: of course!!

Natsuo: so... what are we talking about

Fuyumi: Whatever you two want!! ^_^

Natsuo: well idfk

Shouto: My class group chat is currently in the middle of an argument over whether or not Midoriya is actually All Might's secret love child

Fuyumi: ... what

Shouto: My class group chat is currently in the middle of an argument over whether or not Midoriya is actually All Might's secret love child

Natsuo: lmao

Natsuo: whos brilliant idea was that

Shouto: Mine

Natsuo: i take back everything bad i ever thought about you. youre my favorite baby brother

Shouto: I'm not a baby

Natsuo: yes you are

Fuyumi: Yes you are

Shouto: ...

Shouto: Wait a second

Natsuo: waiting

Stop calling me a baby: The class chat has nicknames. It feels weird to not have them now. Also stop calling me a baby

Natsuo: nicknames are a great idea

Natsuo: but you will never not be a baby

Fuyumi: Both of these are true!!

Stop calling me a baby: This is cyberbullying

Natsuo: oh ill show you REAL cyberbullying

Fuyumi: No you will not!!

Natsuo: i will no longer be showing you REAL cyberbullying

Stop calling me a baby: :taketheL:

Fuyumi: What are you trying to do?

Stop calling me a baby: Why is it not showing up? :taketheL:

Natsuo: lmao this isnt discord

Stop calling me a baby: Ah. I see. Kaminari made me buy discord so I could be on the class chat, so I'm more used to that.

Natsuo: wym "buy" discord??? its free???

Fuyumi: I think he means he has nitro

Stop calling me a baby: I do in fact have discord nitro

Natsuo: hand it over

Stop calling me a baby: I can gift it to you, but I don't understand why you don't also have it? I used Endeavor's credit card?

Natsuo: he cancelled the one i stole last time and i havent had a chance to steal a new one

Fuyumi: lmao sucks to suck

Fuyumi: I mean!! I can send you the information for his newest one!!

Stop calling me a baby: No it's too late you already "dunked on him"

Stop calling me a baby: I'm pretty sure I used that right

Natsuo: yeah sorry yumi you already dunked on me

Natsuo: also yes shouto u did use that right. just dont do the quotes next time

Stop calling me a baby: Yes memelord-sensei

Fuyumi: DKJFHKDF

Natsuo: i dont

Natsuo: i dont know if that was an insult or not

Stop calling me a baby: The title is however you interpret it to be, though you should know that Iida calls Kaminari "memelord-sensei" sometimes

Natsuo: ah

Natsuo: based on what youve told me about kaminari

Natsuo: this is an insult

Fuyumi: You're doing great Shouto keep it up

Natsuo: >:0

Fuyumi: :D

Natsuo: fine

Natsuo: i know what i must do

memelord-sensei: i make your insults my own

memelord-sensei: like the americans getting called yankees

Fuyumi: Whatever helps you sleep at night!!

Stop calling me a baby: I will let Kaminari know that his title has been revoked

memelord-sensei: yeah you do that

memelord-sensei: in the meantime hey yumi

Fuyumi: ?

memelord-sensei: seems youre the only one without a nickname

Fuyumi: I'm fine with that!!

memelord-sensei: are you saying

memelord-sensei: youre fine with being

memelord-sensei: BORING???????

Fuyumi: yes

memelord-sensei: LAME

Stop calling me a baby: Kaminari is very upset by this development

Stop calling me a baby: And he agrees that not having a nickname is boring. I personally don't care but he was insistent on having his opinion be known

memelord-sensei: cmon yumi

memelord-sensei: do it for kaminari

Yumi: Fine!! Here's my nickname!!

memelord-sensei: .... acceptable

Stop calling me a baby: I'm letting Kaminari know that you have a nickname now so he will stop spamming me with different variations of "Tell your sister to stop being lame"

Stop calling me a baby: Not that he has any ground to stand on

memelord-sensei: damn sho out here throwing S H A D E

Yumi: I'm so proud of my boy!!

memelord-sensei: we taught him well

Stop calling me a baby: Actually it was mostly Bakugou and Shinsou

Yumi: We taught him somewhat okay!!

memelord-sensei: i mean i fuckin guess

Yumi: Natsuo!! Language!!

Stop calling me a baby: Didn't you call your curling iron a motherfucking whore because it burned you

Yumi: That was supposed to stay between me and god!!!

memelord-sensei: what god

Yumi: I hesitate to agree with you but I agree with you

Yumi: Unfortunately

memelord-sensei: what a horrible burden it is to be right all the time

Touya: for the last time you fucks weed isnt a hallucinogen your last batch was laced with something

Touya: wait

Touya: why is this active again and also you saw nothing

memelord-sensei: excuse me what the fuck

Yumi: TOUYA??????

Touya: no

Stop calling me a baby: Your name says otherwise

Touya: the name is lying

Touya: i would never lie you can trust me

memelord-sensei: no we cant

Yumi: No we can't

Yumi: Also Touya used to say that all the time!! Whenever he started doing a bit!!

Touya: wild coincidence that me and this touya guy say similar things

Touya: i dont do bits though bc im not a liar

Touya: im very trustworthy

Stop calling me a baby: If I know anything about you from the many stories that Natsuo has

Stop calling me a baby: It's that you commit to the bit

Touya: committing to the bit would be the most important thing to me if i did those

Touya: but i dont

Touya: bc im not touya

memelord-sensei: idk guys i think this guy might not be touya

Touya: see this guy gets it

Yumi: Okay not-Touya, you should know that I'm making Touya's favorite mochi and leaving them in the freezer tonight!!

Touya: if your house is broken into by a very scary-looking individual tonight then dont be scared its fine

Yumi: The scary-looking individual, on the other hand, should be very scared!! ^_^

Touya: ...

Touya: ive decided that i am in fact willing to die for mochi

Touya: ill be over at 1 tonight

Yumi: I'll leave the kitchen window unlocked!!

Yumi: You should be planning on staying a while!!

Touya: ... yes yumi

Yumi: Good!!

Notes:

for those of you who are following my other works and are like "basil, why are you doing this stupid shit instead of your bad things happen bingo? or your most popular ongoing fic We all fall apart? or the tma fic that you havent updated in ages with an incredibly suspenseful title, Jonathan Sims Is Dead In The End? or your crossover series thats been going for almost a year now and is so close to being done you can almost fucking taste it?" my answer is as thus: shut your whore mouth we're having a fun wip

Check out my tumblr! I actually have a bad things happen bingo game going right now, so make sure to send in an ask for that!

Comments are always appreciated <3