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It was late evening time when Cavalry Captain Kaeya arrived at the camp in which Albedo spent his time. The dragonspine air was frigid as usual, and Kaeya felt as if the cold was causing his very core begin to frost. Kaeya was well used to withstanding such temperatures, and though the crisp air was refreshing in his lungs he found comfort in the warmth coming from the two fires on either side of the entrance to the small cave.
It is there that he saw his chalk prince perched upon a wooden crate, observing the contents of a vile in his hand. The dark red liquid swirled and frothed as some reaction occurred, the point of which Kaeya could never guess.
Kaeya noticed the focused, yet tired, look in Albedo’s cool blue eyes. He noticed his hair, small pieces left untucked from the style as usual. He did not, however, notice the slight shake to his hand, nor the off-balance nature in which Albedo sat.
Kaeya made it nearly halfway into the campsite before Albedo was startled at the sound of his footstep, the noise made by Kaeya’s heel colliding with a stony patch of the ground. Albedo was visibly shaken, as he jumped at the noise and snapped his neck to look at the taller. Upon recognizing the source of the noise, the tenseness in his shoulders relaxed a bit.
“No need to worry love, it’s only me~”
Albedo paused and pressed his eyelids closed, and smiled. Though his stoic nature would have left his reaction unnoticed by most, Kaeya had spent much time with his prince and could recognize his subtle expressions with ease.
Albedo set down the vial as carefully as he could manage and turned to face the Cavalry Captain.
“Good to see you, sir Kaeya. How are you doing this fine evening?”
“I’m doing quite fine. And, yourself?”
“I’m doing well. May I get you some tea?”
The sharing of tea had become a small tradition for the two of them to share. Each Kaeya and Albedo kept a bit of rose hip and sunsettia tea for the two of them to share when visiting each other.
Neither remembered exactly when the tradition started, but they found it quite nice to have something special for only each other, and something to make their times spent together ever more special.
Kaeya didn’t need words to respond to the question, a simple smile was enough to convey that he wished to share tea with the other as he often did.
Albedo stood up from his spot and took barely a step before stoping. He held his arms out a bit, seemingly in an attempt to keep balance, his eyes pointed forward focused on nothing at all.
“Love?” Kaeya moved quickly to his prince’s side, offering his hand for Albedo to steady himself. Albedo clutched onto his hand tight, before giving up on keeping balance and falling into his chest.
Kaeya held Albedo close to him, as his prince seemed nearly unable to keep himself upright as the world swayed below him. He was heavy upon Kaeya’s chest, using him to support nearly all of his weight. As Kaeya held him, he could feel his prince tremble ever so slightly, as if the gears keeping his very being alive were beginning to slow down.
“Albedo…”
He held Kaeya tighter at hearing his own name, desperate for any bit of comfort he could find. The burdens of his past and the weight of the world had found their way upon his tired shoulders, and underneath them he had finally collapsed. Oh, archons, did he wish to give up so long ago, to disappear into the earth as his brother before him.
Kaeya held Albedo tight as he led him down to the temporary spot that had been prepared for him to sleep. Albedo himself set down upon the blankets, and than his legs tucked underneath. The gesture was of little use to one not bothered by the cold, but it was comforting none the less. Through all of it, Kaeya kept himself in contact with his prince, as if to say I’m here, don’t worry, it’s alright.
“Have you eaten yet today, my prince?” he asked in a concerned tone.
“There is no need to worry about me, Kaeya. I’m quite alright,” Albedo quietly responded.
Albedo’s avoidant response was enough of an answer for Kaeya, as he knew him quite well. He lightly moved his hand off of Albedo’s shoulder as a small warning to his departure before stepping away to make him something to eat.
Kaeya haven’t prepared to cook that day, but he had a few stray ingredients on his person. He prepared a Tyvatt fried egg and a chicken mushroom skewer as quickly as he could, dousing the meat in a bit of death after noon for a bit of fruit flavor.
He slid both onto a plate kept nearby and sat next to where Albedo sat on the ground. He immediately took the prince’s hand in his as he sat next to him, and placed the plate on his lap.
Albedo almost glared at the food sitting on the plate in front of him. He could eat it, he knew he was physically capable, at least for than. He simply didn’t want to.
He had grown fond of the ache that grew in his stomach when eating as little as he had, the feeling that matched so nicely with his state of being. It was the feeling that gnawed away at his insides, leaving his body weak to match his pitiful state. It was the feeling that he loved.
But he felt that he had already worried his knight enough, so he began to nibble at the corner of the egg. Kaeya watched intently while holding on to his left hand, thankful that he was eating something.
After finishing the egg, Albedo set the plate to his right. He felt a hand touch the side of his face, as his gaze was tiled to meet Kaeya’s.
Of course he darted his eyes away, he knew what would likely come next. His knight likely knew that something wasn’t right, and Albedo had already worried him far too much. Kaeya didn’t deserve to have feel so concerned for him and his state of being, and he wished he wouldn’t.
Of course the Knight wanted to save his drowning prince, unknowing to the comfort found in filling lungs with water after treading so long.
So his eyes ran away in fear of the knight who wished to aid him.
“Albedo.”
Hearing his name brought his eyes back to the face of his love. Looking directly in eyes was appalling to Albedo, so he found comfort in watching his dark lips form words.
“You know if there’s anything bothering you, you can always talk to me,” he paused.
“When I say that I do mean it, I love you with all of my soul and I dare not let you wither away alone. So please,” Kaeya held Albedo’s hand tighter. “What’s on your mind?”
Something about the knight’s words broke Albedo, or it felt much like it. Moments ago he had perfect composure, at least externally, but now he was reduced down to nothing more than a sobbing mess. He dug his head into Kaeya’s front and wrapped his arms around his torso, Kaeya did the same.
It wasn’t that Albedo didn’t want to share his burdens with the knight, there was no person he would trust more with his secrets in the world. But he simply lacked the words to describe how he felt, the tangelos mess that was his emotions was so hard to convert into words understood by another, he needed a moment to get thoughts in a line or something like it.
So for a moment he simply sobbed into the knight’s chest, the fluff of his fur coat tickling the side of his face. Albedo wasn’t bothered by the cold, yet the warmth of the knight was the greatest comfort to him. It felt as if every point where his skin touched Kaeya was filled with the smallest bit of hope, and every drop of physical affection made everything a little bit more ok.
Kaeya’s hand found it’s way to Albedo’s head, and he placed it on top of his messy hair. It was soft nonetheless, and he gently stroked began to stroke it. The action is we calm and repetitive, a little reminder that he was there.
“I just… don’t know.”
Albedo’s words were quiet, and were muffled further being spoken into the fabric of Kaeya’s shirt. His words were still heard.
“You don’t know?” He quietly questioned. He tried to keep his voice steady and calm, hoping his words could be of some comfort.
Albedo shook his head, his face still buried in Kaeya’s chest.
“…I feel off.” His words remained muffled in the knight’s chest. “I’m unsure why. I don’t know if there is a reason at all.” Kaeya nodded, and continued to stroke the top of his head. Though the nod could not be seen, Albedo cloud feel the shifting fabric of his clothing, and could hear the small movement near his face.
“I feel… tired. Consistently.” He paused to gather his thoughts. “Not always physically, more often- emotionally. I don’t know if this is making sense.” Kaeya gave another small nod for reassurance.
“Everything has become so much more difficult. Things that used to be simple have suddenly become exhausting, and I know how silly it may seem but I don’t even want to get up most days.” Albedo began to speak faster. “I quite honestly would have stayed in bed if you weren’t coming, and it took everything I fucking had to function normally. And yet, this isn’t normal! This isn’t anything near normal! And quite honestly, I’m tired of pushing through this- archons, it would be so much easier just to give up.”
Albedo felt Kaeya hug him tiger at the final words. He didn’t mean to say that much, he felt guilt at the concern his love was likely feeling. He hadn’t realized how tightly he was holding on to Kaeya, nor how damp his tears had made the front of his shirt. He loosened his arms slightly to not hurt the knight, and took a breath.
“Are you a danger to yourself?”
Albedo didn’t want to concern Kaeya any further. He didn’t want to cause an issue either. But more than either, he didn’t want to lie to his knight, so he nodded slowly into his chest.
“I truly wish I could make things better for you, but put quite simply, I can’t. I do love you, but love alone cannot cure mental issues like this, and I’m sorry.
“But I will be here with you, and I will help you through everything I’m able to. You will need help from a professional, I can’t fix problems like this. I will be alongside you every step of the way, I promise.”
Albedo nodded into Kaeya’s chest. Kaeya continued to stroke his hair as he looked outside to see the sun had set long ago. The campsite remained illuminated by only the two fires near the entrance, leaving the back corners dim.
“Would you feel safe if I stayed here with you tonight?”
Kaeya felt another nod into his chest, and he began to shift both the prince and himself into a laying position. The blanket had ended up off to the side somehow, so he momentarily released the prince from one of his arms to tuck the both of them underneath it. Kaeya laid with his chin touching the top of Albedo’s head, as Albedo snuggled into his chest.
Neither could imagine a better way to drift asleep than in the other’s arms. Albedo found himself within the soundest sleep he had encountered in a long while, and the rest was quite needed. Kaeya was simply glad that his love was now safe. Though the journey ahead would likely be long and difficult, comfort was found in the thought of facing it together as they slipped into sleep.
