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Maybe not having great insurance ended up being a boon for you! Okay, no, it objectively wasn’t, but you gotta look for silver linings, right? That’s what your therapist said. Or, well, no, not your therapist, exactly. But your friend who is currently going to school for psychology. That’s close, right? Just like how you ended up rooming with a guy majoring in exercise science who wants to be a physical therapist. That was good. That’s your silver lining. It’s too bad he hates (?) your best friend (??) though.
Kanaya says you need to work on your confidence, too. Maybe that’s why you’re having such a hard time figuring out the exact dynamic between – well, it’s probably just nothing and you’re overthinking it. Or not. You don’t know. This is why you have a therapist – er – friend in psychology who gives really good advice (you think – your previous experience with advice is “jump off the cliff, Tavros, I promise it’s not too high and the water is deep enough!” which ended up being… bad advice).
Anyway, that’s why you’re laying down on your back on a yoga mat in your dorm room. Your roommate should be back from his classes any minute, and you want to be prepared for the next physical therapy session.
“Relax, my brother,” your best friend (???), Gamzee said while exhaling a cloud of mist. Equius wouldn’t like that. Maybe Gamzee will stop by the time he gets back. You hope.
“What makes you think I’m not relaxed?” you ask, looking up toward your bed but only being able to see a bony hand holding a vape mod, twirling it before it moves to where you suppose his mouth is to take another it.
This time he snorts out the cloud before talking. “I can feel them energies, man.” He waves the mod around as though gesturing.
“Energies?”
“Mmmmmhmm.”
You didn’t know much about energies, but you trusted Gamzee. People who didn’t take him seriously usually ended up regretting it, one way or another.
You hear him inhale another long hit and start wondering if he’s forgotten to exhale when the door opens and in walks your short, sturdily built roommate, and Gamzee releases his breath. Equius waves away the cloud dramatically, scowling at your friend.
“I understand Tavros requires you for emotional support,” Equius begins.
“I don’t require–” you start, but Equius talks over you.
“But I would strongly appreciate you refraining from smoking your death juice in my presence, and especially not indoors.
“You got it, motherfucker,” Gamzee says in his distinctly friendly but sly way which you’ve come to realize means he absolutely does not “got it.”
You hear the window next to your bed open a crack, then another exhale. There’s slightly less vapor this time. Slightly.
Equius glowers, but doesn’t say anything, and instead takes off his tiny shades and sets them aside, blinking to adjust to the light change, and looks down at you. Are you blushing? You might be blushing. You know it’s just his studies that cause him to examine you as though he can physically see your muscles under your skin, your lungs and heart working harder with each breath and beat. He frowns slightly, then swiftly crouches next to you and feels for your pulse at your throat, watching his cracked but functional analog watch.
“Are you in pain? Your pulse is elevated,” he asks, voice full of concern.
“N-no! I’m fine. Just… Excited for more therapy!” Good cover.
Equius doesn’t look completely convinced, so he lays his head down on your chest to listen, his long, silky hair brushing over your chin in the process. He sits up and bites his lip for a second. “I can hear no abnormalities, despite your increased breath and pulse rate. Are you sure I should not just take you to a –?”
“No! It’s fine! I’m fine. Let’s just get to it, yeah?” The last time you went to the on-campus health center, they sent you to the hospital to look at your legs. Your non-functioning legs. The legs that have not changed since your injury three years ago. Not much you could do when they grabbed your wheelchair and started rolling! Terezi managed to argue the bill down to thirty bucks for you (somehow), but you’d rather not risk actually owing thousands of dollars this time.
“He’s fine, my brother,” Gamzee says, chuckling. “Just them energies.”
You roll your eyes (even though you know he’s right) and Equius ignores him. “Very well. If you are certain, shall we start with ankle rotations to get you warmed up?”
You nod and watch as he carefully holds your foot. As his physique would suggest, he’s almost abnormally strong, and paired with not being able to feel anything below your waist, he insists on being extremely cautious. (Not that you’d mind him being a little rough with you. Probably.)
He rotates your foot clockwise then counterclockwise a few times, then switches to the other foot, then back.
You’ve laid back down by this point, closing your eyes to focus on feeling the slightest jostle as Equius works.
You’re a little startled when the jostle turns to a stretch and you open your eyes to see Equius above you, one hand holding your calf, the other under your knee, pushing it into your chest.
Equius looks startled in turn. “I-I’m sorry. Is this too much? I was so wrapped up in the habit of our exercises, I completely failed to warn you. Please, punish me as you see fit for this grievous overstep of your boundaries.” Little beads of sweat begin forming on his brow, as often happen when he gets stressed. You’re transfixed by them, until one fully forms and drops onto your nose. Equius looks even more horrified, but you laugh.
“It’s fine. I guess I zoned out a little there, huh?”
Equius’s face slowly relaxes into a smile, showing off that chipped canine he’s always self conscious about. You could kiss him (?!?!???!??).
Then there’s a soft thud, and Equius drops down a bit further, and glares up at your bed.
You follow his eyes and see Gamzee has turned to face the two of you, long lanky legs crossed and propped on Equius’s back, his arms behind him, letting him lean and lazily smile at both of you.
“I strongly insist you get your disgusting feet off me this instant,” Equius says shortly.
Gamzee takes a peak at his feet, tilting them slightly toward him, then relaxes back in satisfaction. “Ain’t gross, brother. I washed ‘em today.” He smiles broadly and you can’t help but snicker.
You think you see Equius sneak a glance at you and you both flush then quickly look away.
“See, this is what I’m talking about, man. The energies. The vibes. The… feng shui of it all.”
“I think that’s about furniture placement?” you point out.
Gamzee gestures to his feet on Equius’s back. “Close enough. Look, life’s a motherfucking miracle, alright? You two getting roomed together is a miracle. A sign the universe is lookin’ out for ya, right?”
You and Equius both nod automatically, as much as Equius tries to freeze his neck muscles once he realizes what he’s doing.
“And that’s all well and good, but when’s the last time y’all spent time together?”
You and Equius look at each other, confused. “Uh… now?” you say, uncertain.
Gamzee shakes his head lazily, smile still lingering easily on his face. He pushes Equius’s side with his feet, and even though Equius is built like a tank and you swear Gamzee barely used any pressure, Equius easily succumbs to it, falling over on his side next to you, releasing your leg which stays awkwardly upright. Gamzee stretches and pushes once more with his toe, and Equius is rolled to his back. Somehow.
Gamzee cocks an eyebrow at him, then slides off the bed and lays down on the other side of you, only able to fit between you and the bed due to his thin frame. He adjusts your leg to a more natural position, then relaxes back. “Now this is spending time together.”
“I don’t understand,” Equius says, a tinge of nervousness in his voice. “Surely my administrations to improve Tavros’s help was quality time. I strongly suggest we cease this at once so I can continue assisting in his exercises.” He didn’t move to get up, though.
Gamzee waves a hand in the air as though swatting a fly, then lets it thump back down to his chest. “Nah, motherfucker. I mean real quality time. Get to know each other.” He pauses and breathes deeply, as though he can inhale the moment, and you and Equius wait. “What’s your major, Eq?” he finally asks.
“I–” It takes a moment for him to get going. “I don’t approve of that nickname. But, as you should know, I am majoring in exercise science, focusing on physical therapy, which is why I am here, attempting to help Tavros keep his legs active.”
If Gamzee recognized any reprimand, he ignored it. “Why?”
There’s a beat of silence.
“Why?” Equius repeats.
“Mmmmhm.”
Another moment of silence.
You are suddenly extremely nervous Gamzee somehow offended Equius. You’re still not quite sure what he’s trying to do.
“Y-you don’t have to –” you begin.
“My friend,” Equius finally says, almost at the same time you start talking. He pauses and looks at you, but you gesture for him to continue. “She is always getting into extremely dangerous decisions despite my strong insistence she does not. She used to listen to me, when we were children, but she has since impressed on me that it is not my place to control her actions or prevent her from making her own mistakes and getting hurt.” He says the last as though he’s rehearsed it.
“What does your friend do?” you ask. “If – you know – if you don’t mind telling me.”
“This year?” he asks wryly, cracking a smile. “Roller derby. Last year, rock climbing, next year, who knows?”
“So why physical therapy?”
Equius hesitates, sweat forming at his temple again.
“Homie had to figure out a way to support her,” Gamzee says before Equius can work up the nerve to reply.
“...Yes.” Equius’s voice is a mix of confusion and awe. “Medicine – healing her – well, after that conversation… It felt too much like fixing her. But I cannot just leave her to her own devices with no way to help. What I am learning will keep her fit and strong through her own hard work. That is the way it should be.”
You’re stunned. Was that how he viewed physical therapy? Did he view it like that with you ? It sounds so… intimate.
Gamzee saves you from figuring out how to ask. “That’s why you help Tav. Motherfuckin miracles, man. Brought us all together.”
Equius snorts derisively, despite the obvious joy on his face. “I fail to see how you come into this so-called ‘miraculous’ situation.”
Gamzee flips on his side, leans on his elbow, and looks at Equius with light amusement. “You’ll learn once you get to the class that teaches you what a fucking break is, my brother.”
Equius flushes to his ears. “I-I know what a break is,” he says weakly.
Gamzee doesn’t respond, just flops forward on top of you, head landing on your shoulder and arm draped across your torso.
You let out an oof, then laugh, just a little nervously. You’re still not quite sure what the dynamic between you three is, but you think you maybe won’t have to go to Kanaya to figure it out.
“Motherfucking miracles,” you say.
You feel Gamzee’s hand join yours, long fingers reaching out to pull Equius’s over, who quickly gets the hint, the three of you forming an awkward three-way handhold.
“Mother. Fucking. Miracles,” Equius agrees.