Chapter Text
Silence.
The hollow, muted sound breaking between the clattering forks scraping along the plates had always been a noise that no loving couple would ever want to have with each other. However, it had made itself a routine three times a day; breakfast, lunch, and dinner between Julieta and Agustín.
There, they sat across from each other at the dinner table, two chairs occupied while there were two more that remained vacant and empty, cold to touch whenever Julieta brushed her fingers against the carefully carved top rails of the extra wooden chairs.
It hadn't always been like this. As far as Julieta could remember, her and Agustín's tiny apartment was filled with cheerful bickering, laughter, and light conversations- not just between them, but with two children they created out of love and devotion, filling their hearts with overwhelming love.
Everything was perfect... it was everything that Julieta could ever ask for. Then it all changed, crumbling and cracking from the meticulously made walls she had built around her children and the one she married; in one last phone call... in one heartbreaking noise of finality... it collapsed- now reduced to rubble, blood and tears.
So many tears.
The once happy and beautiful family she and her husband created was shortened to just them. Just Julieta and Agustín.
And even after nearly a year, there had been no change in trying to get used to it. But even then, so many things happened in that first ugly year.
The conversation between them in the last year dwindled to little to no words. Their lungs keep on breathing in and out, their hearts constricted every time they glanced at each other, meeting the irises of who they had fallen in love with, married and made room for two more to adore.
Now their eyes had been filled with grief.
Their days of being family and the sounds of sweet giggles were now replaced with silence.
Just silence.
And today was no different, and it felt even worse now that this specific day was a year since the day that tore her family apart. As usual, she made breakfast for her and Agustín, the food being the favourite among their daughters.
Her husband would sit and wait at the dinner table adjacent to the kitchen, adjusting his tie and watch band, every so often regarding Julieta's back with a glimmer of concern etched in his tired features as she prepared the food.
Then she would finish, place the made plate in front of Agustín with a hot cup of tea next to it and join her husband in saying a prayer before digging into the food.
Then... utter silence. It wasn't uncomfortable or stiff, but it held a powerful message.
It conveyed emotions through a rendering atmosphere so still and quiet, yet it screamed as powerful as a newborn's lungs. For them, it expressed anguish, the unspoken sorrow of two parents that lost everything.
The food set in front of Julieta nauseated her. The smell. The sight. The mere thought of putting something in her mouth had her stomach lurch, yet she couldn't blame her insides for reacting so unhappily.
She pushed the food around, swallowing the gathered saliva when her stomach swooped again. Nowadays, her appetite wasn't the same, but in the past few weeks, it had been worse. The new symptoms were frequent headaches and fatigue that seemed strong enough to keep her in bed most days.
There was a gentle clatter of noise coming from above, and she looked up to see Agustín looking back at her, his fork and knife left forgotten to the side. "Are you okay?" he asked, reaching out to clasp her slightly trembling hand.
Julieta wanted to say it wouldn't have mattered that she hadn't been okay since that day. And it didn't make it any better than this day... was the day. She inclined her head. "Sí, amor, I'm just not feeling well again."
Agustín nodded slowly, hand returning his grip on his utensils. "Hopefully, the doctors will figure out what's going on, hmm?"
Julieta thinned her lips, internally cursing at the time of her doctor's appointment. Of all things, it had to be the day they buried their children.
"Sí."
"Did you want to go before or after your doctor's appointment?"
Julieta's heart clenched painfully, but she answered with a small 'before' and continued prodding at her eggs. She could feel her husband's eyes on her, but she looked at her plate.
She knew he was trying to read her, trying to take a glimpse at the blank canvas she wore on her face. Despite what others saw of her empty look, Agustín knew what hid behind it, the sheer grief and sorrow that filled her entire body.
These emotions changed her. It moulded her. She rarely smiled or laughed, couldn't find herself to hold her sister's baby and look at Dolores without being reminded that Isabela would never be able to grow alongside her prima. Now, it seemed as though this year had only been involved with her heart feeling unfilled, aching for some comfort and whole.
Agustín fulfilled that.
True, all their years of being married had been utter bliss, and it was uncommon for them to argue and fight, but since the death of their babies, it became something frequent, leaving even more guilt than before.
It led to them sleeping separately. Julieta would sleep in Isabela's room, and Agustín would take Luisa's. Or the other way around.
But every time, the aftermath would be reuniting, apologising, and holding each other close until they would find themselves in their bedroom, clothes tossed aside and lips clashing together as they moved their bodies in familiar tandem to reach satisfaction.
In those moments, these were the only times Julieta felt something. Perhaps there was a better way to cope, but Julieta nor her husband couldn't find anything else to fill in that void within their very souls. And if it meant that she could feel anything other than agony, then so be it.
The sound of a fork stabbing an egg was heard, and she looked up.
His eyes were downcast to his plate, chewing slowly before swallowing. Julieta didn't say anything as she copied his actions.
Once again, silence filled the air.
"Remember, Isa, don't forget your folder and flash drive for your presentation," Agustín reminded the young teenager.
Isabela nodded from her seat at the table and hugged herself.
Julieta regarded her eldest daughter. "Nervous?" she asked softly, noticing the body language.
The teenager shrugged slightly and reached for her cup of orange juice. "More or less," she mumbled behind her cup, taking a swig of juice before setting it down, tapping her fingers against the table.
Julieta hummed and moved her hand to hold onto hers. She ran her thumb over the girl's knuckles and smiled, assuring and comforting. "You'll do great, amor."
Isabela bit her lip. "I don't know; this presentation is worth half my grade for History."
"Ay, don't say that," Agustín chided gently, looking over to Isabela with a sincere expression. "You did just fine when you presented to me."
"I know, it just... has to be perfect," Isabela murmured.
Luisa looked up from her food. "Which presentation?"
"The timeline of Automobiles, who made them and what they were used for." Isabela leaned back and shrugged. "It's pretty self-explanatory, but the fact that it can affect my grade is mildly concerning." She wrinkled her nose. "Buen Dios, I can't imagine riding a vehicle back then and the parents allowing their children to drive it like I just got my driver's license for over two months, and you two still won't let me drive alone..."
Agustín and Julieta exchanged looks, their brows arching in reply.
"I'd rather have you drive old cars than tío Bruno," Luisa grimaced. "And he had his driver's license for over twenty years. Remember when he ran over a garbage can... twice?"
Isabela huffed but smiled. "Or when Papi ran over your stuffed unicorn."
"How was I supposed to know you threw it out before we got out of the driveway," Agustín defended with a squint of his eyes.
Isabela and Luisa laughed out loudly while Julieta's lips graced up lightly. "Don't worry, mi corazón, you're still a good driver, even if you did flatten the unicorn-"
"-which I fixed afterwards!"
Julieta rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked half-heartedly before looking at their two young daughters. "Just you wait when you run over your children's stuff."
"Or maybe I'll lock the windows."
Agustín gasped, feigning hurt as he looked at Julieta with a pout. "Amor, tell your daughter to stop being mean," he whined.
"She's just as much yours as mine, you know," Julieta returned with a quirk of her eyebrow.
"Well, you're the one who begged for-"
"Aye, eso es asqueroso!" Isabela and Luisa said simultaneously, making a face and picking up their plates, hurrying away towards the kitchen. Julieta and Agustín looked at each other with a glance, amused and sharing a glimpse of love.
"Ay! No lovey-dovey eyeballs," Isabela exclaimed, approaching the man and linking her arm around his. "We're going to be late." Julieta sat up just as Isabela dragged Agustín to the door.
Julieta grinned, taking hold of Luisa as she passed her and pressed a hard kiss to the youngest girl's temple. "Que tengas un buen día, mi leona. Te amo!"
"Mamá," Luisa grunted and tried to snake away from her hold, but Julieta persisted in smooching her.
"You forgot to give Isa goodbye kisses too-"
"Leave me out of this-"
"I'll happily take some smooches."
"Pa!"
Julieta leaned back with a small laugh and allowed Luisa to bring her to the door. Isabela groaned aloud when Julieta latched onto her, kissing her temple and then cheek. Although both her daughters were taller than her now, they were still her babies through and through.
"Te amo, mi flor, good luck with your presentation, okay?" She gave Isabela one final kiss on the cheek before her daughter fought free of her hold.
"Okay, mami."
Agustín approached Julieta, wriggling his eyebrows. "Is it my turn?"
"Nope!" Before Agustín or Julieta could say anything, Isabela grabbed his hand and pulled him out the open door that Luisa was holding. He yelped but allowed his daughter to push him down the apartment complex hallway, the keys in her hand and a look of determination to drag him into the car.
When they were out of sight, Julieta went to the window that oversaw the parking lot, waving at them as Isabela started the car and backed away. She smiled warmly as they all waved back, affection and adoration coursing through every fibre of her being.
Like bells chiming delicately within her mind, she could still hear her daughters' laughs.
The mausoleum had always sent chills down Julieta's spine. Though it was beautiful and well-maintained, there was something daunting and forlorn about this place. Maybe it was because of what was in this area, where human ashes remained honoured and kept neatly inside a squared hatch.
Or perhaps this large cemetery also held their daughters' ashes- a fact that she and Agustín couldn't always wrap around their minds sometimes. Julieta had never thought that this was the only place where they could visit Isabela or Luisa.
No matter how many times she would visit for the years to come, the reminder she had lost both daughters in one day due to a drunk person's act would leave a searing pain deep within her heart and continue its torment for a lifetime.
An open breeze blew throughout the vast mausoleum, the bouquets held in small insert-vases rustling along with the wind and bringing colour to the grey, stone building.
Hand in hand, Agustín and Julieta walked down the open and wide hallways, the heaviness in their hearts weighing with grief as their eyes scanned and observed the vaults aligned in multiple horizontal rows.
Julieta could feel her eyes burn with tears when they saw the two specific chambers. She squeezed Agustín's hand, swallowing thickly as she felt him return the gesture and guide them to Luisa and Isabela's section.
They both stood mere inches from the inward tomb, their faces looking straight at it, taunting and reminding them what was held behind this hatch.
A year.
A whole year.
It had been that long since she last saw her babies' faces, since she wrapped her arms around them and kissed their smooth cheeks with motherly love. Julieta felt her vision blur, her unoccupied hand reaching out to brush against the textured stone of Isabela's grave.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Agustín place the small bouquet inside Luisa's vase, hand fluffing up the petals and making sure that none was out of place, and then another small bunch of flowers in her peripheral view.
She regarded it silently before wrapping her fingers around the stems and slowly inserting them within Isabela's vase. Her favourite.
Julieta exhaled shakily, lips thinning as if trying not to burst into sobs right there and then. She quickly wiped away the tears that escaped and sniffled, every muscle and bone flaring with indistinguishable sorrow.
Many tears were shed and nights spent curled on either of her daughters' beds, begging and pleading for the answers: why? Why them? To ease her heartache, people had tried to answer, but no amount of reassurances and reasons would satisfy her.
All she could do was ponder and contemplate what kind of transgression she had done to have Luisa's and Isabela's lives taken away from them. She could question and inquire with every fibre of her being, and there would still be no contentment.
Julieta held in her breath, daring herself to look at Luisa's tomb, her mind telling her no more tears-no more. But as her gleaming eyes glanced towards the stone-her daughter's name carved out on the surface, she knew she had lost the battle.
Tears flowed down her cheeks, shoulders trembling violently as her head inclined against her eldest daughter's tablet, releasing a sob. It resonated throughout the mausoleum, fading in the background until more cries of a grieving mother followed it.
She clenched her eyes closed and laid her hand on top of the stone, fingers curling into a fist and scraping along with the designed rock slab. The scratches on her knuckles stung, but they couldn't compare to the pain she had felt since the day that ended her daughters' lives.
Julieta didn't know how long she cried pressed against Isabela's engraved plate, but she finally opened her puffy eyes to feel her husband's hands cupping her face, wiping away the fat droplets trailing her cheeks.
She could see the way Agustín's temple leaned against Luisa's tomb, his face wet from his quiet weeping. The skin around his eyes was red and swollen, though he made no sound of tribulation. He was silent in his agony but always made it clear that he was suffering just as much as she was.
Agustín stroked her cheek as Julieta whimpered.
"Mis bebés," she rasped, pinching her eyelids shut with a broken sob. "Our babies-"
"Lo sé-lo sé," he replied in a near-whisper, face nearly crumbling when Julieta sobbed again and flew into him, wrapping her arms around his slender frame and hands curling into his material clothing.
Julieta felt warmth encompass her, gripping her as if she was a lifeline and tender lips pressed against her scalp.
"I want them back," she cried into his chest, voice muffled. Her husband didn't answer but hugged her closer-tighter and protectively. Teardrops not of her own fell on top of her head, but she disregarded them and merely burrowed herself in his embrace.
They both wept.
The sound of their apartment door opening made Julieta perk up. She laid the piping bag to the side, wiping her hands on her apron and rounding the counter only to see Isabela's large smile gracing her lips as she settled her belongings on top of the table.
"Mi amor," Julieta greeted warmly. "How was the presentation?"
Her smile widened. "I aced it," she replied proudly.
Julieta hummed and pulled on the young teenager's arm to the level where she was and kissed her cheek. "Ay, I knew you could do it, mi bella flor," the mother exclaimed between smooches.
"Mamá..." Isabela groaned but didn't bother moving away as she was in Julieta's tight embrace.
After Julieta let loose of her daughter, she quirked the corners of her lips. "Good decision."
The eldest teenager rolled her eyes but grinned nonetheless as Agustín came into view, his phone pressed against his ear.
"Mhm... mhm, okay, we'll pick you up in a moment," he said, nodding at his final word. When he hung up, two pairs of eyes caught his attention as he pocketed his phone. "Luisa's school called," Agustín explained. "her practice got cancelled."
Isabela dug into her ripped-jean pocket and expectedly stretched the key out towards him. "Here."
But Agustín didn't take it, only regarding her with a look of contemplation. Luisa's school wasn't that far from their apartment, and their eldest had been driving exceptionally with them in the car despite having gotten her driver's license not too long ago.
Julieta approached him and wrapped an arm around his waist, looking at him with an inquiry.
Finally, he responded with a sly smile. "Why don't you pick Lu up?"
Isabela reeled back, blinking in surprise and registering his words carefully. "You mean...?"
Agustín only hummed in reply, and Isabela squealed delightfully. She approached them and embraced them both with a tight hug - something she rarely does due to her love language not being physical touch. Yet, each time their daughter did hug them, it made their hearts lighter and flow deep with parental love.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she exclaimed quickly.
Julieta and Agustín chuckled.
"Ask Luisa to call us when you pick her up, sí?"
"Yes, pá," Isabela bobbed her head up, her smile never faltering. "We'll be back soon!"
As soon as the door closed, Agustín craned his neck towards Julieta, his eyebrows wiggling. "Do I get a kiss now?" he asked cheekily, earning for her to huff.
"It's not my fault our daughters are stubborn."
He bent forward to kiss her lips. " They are your daughters," Agustín murmured between kisses.
Julieta smirked against his mouth, her hands worming up his chest and pulling at his tie. Slender fingers glided through her scalp, and she hummed at the heat of his breath. "I have to finish the cake," she whispered breathlessly, breaking their kiss. "And I highly doubt that Lu and Isa would be happy to get an answer with our bedroom voices."
"Mmm..." he leaned down to kiss her again before leaning back, his hands squeezing Julieta's hips. "We can be quick."
"You know we can't."
"I know we can't," he sighed, but a smile returned to his face. " Then tonight. We'll drop them for a sleepover with Dolores and Camilo..."
"I look forward to it." It was almost tempting to screw everything and just do it right then and there, and Julieta was so close to untying his tie and letting everything unravel from there until-
The door slammed open, their oldest daughter skipping in. "Sorry, I forgot to grab my- ¡Oh, Dios mío!"
Julieta and Agustín whipped their necks towards Isabela, who was standing a few feet away, her facial expression showing nothing but horror and disgust.
"What did I just stumble on?!" she exclaimed, rolling up her shoulders and scrunching her face.
"Love, mi flor-it's love," Agustín replied wryly. Julieta blushed, and Isabela emitted a gagging noise from her mouth before snatching the lone phone from the counter and scurrying out.
"You better be dressed when we get home!" Isabela called out as she closed the door.
From the other side, laughter was heard.
A gentle hand rested on Agustín's bouncing knee.
He looked up and saw his wife's assuring look, a trying smile on her face. "Amor, it'll be okay," she murmured to him, tone soft and quiet. Agustín inclined his head and reached out to hold Julieta's hand, their fingers entangling together.
They were in the waiting room of the doctor's office, anticipating the call from a nurse to bring her in. Though it wasn't him that was being checked, he couldn't help but feel anxious for his wife.
Never had she had been this sick for this long. And as a husband, he was concerned for his wife's health. He knew that this past year was one of the roughest they had endured, losing their daughters in one day and going through intense grief, but there was still the question of why she was ill for this long.
They both were hoping for answers, but Agustín more so. Losing his daughters made him realise that all he had of this broken family was Julieta. And he would be damned if he lost her too, not someone he loved so dearly- not a person so close to his heart.
The death of Isabela and Luisa nearly shattered them- the arguments, the crying, the empty side of a bed, and utter emptiness. Perhaps their relationship wasn't beyond repairable, but Agustín-as much as he hated it to admit- understood it wouldn't be the same without their daughters in their lives.
Isabela and Luisa made him and Julieta parents- a family. He recalled their family members telling them how lucky their daughters were to have them as parents, but all he could think was what a blessing to have Luisa and Isabela as their daughters.
Now, it was just how unfair it was to lose such young souls.
Agustín stroked the top of her hand. "You're going to be okay alone?"
"Stop worrying, mi vida; I'm fine."
"We wouldn't be here if you were," he retorted, earning for Julieta to huff in reply.
They fell quiet after that until a door opened to reveal a nurse with a clipboard.
"Madrigal, Julieta?"
Julieta stood up immediately, but Agustín stopped her for a second, his irises gleaming with love and worry that he knew Julieta could see. "Te amo, I'll see you soon."
His wife nodded, compressing his hand calmingly. "Yo también te amo."
With that, they let go, and Agustín watched as Julieta walked towards the open door, being greeted by the kind nurse and disappearing behind the threshold. He kept his gaze on the door until it snapped shut with a click.
His eyes fell to the ground, a quiet prayer at the tip of his tongue.
Please, please, he begged silently. Please be okay.
Agustín closed his eyes and waited.
Julieta picked up the call as soon as her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Why have you forsaken me?"
Julieta rolled her eyes and put Luisa on speakerphone just as Agustín walked into the kitchen, eyebrow lifting questionably. Recognition dawned on him when their youngest spoke again.
"Who gave Isabela the right?!"
Isabela's voice filtered through. "Hey! I'm not that bad of a driver!"
"We're doomed!" Luisa groaned dramatically.
Julieta looked in the direction of Agustín, both sharing a playful smile.
"What happened to you trusting me with an old car," Isabela drawled. "Surely, these modern cars are much safer."
"Isa's right, you know," Agustín quipped in, tapping his chin. "Now, if we were talking about the cars used in the olden days, I wouldn't even trust myself behind the wheel."
"Of course," Julieta replied dryly, knowing her husband's accident-proneness. Her eyes averted towards the phone. "How far are you from home?"
"About ten minutes. We should be home soon if we use the backway."
Julieta nodded. "Okay, let us know if you hit traffic."
They heard Isabela's hum. "You guys are dressed, right?"
Immediately, Luisa made a disgusted noise. "Isa!"
"What!? I was just making sure- my hermanita does not need to be scarred like I have-"
Julieta sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Isa, we weren't even-"
"Tell it to you guys' hands on each other's bodies," she returned wryly.
Agustín thinned his lips, trying to hold in a laugh while Julieta looked exasperated with her facial features. "Like I said," she reminded more firmly, trying to steer back the subject once again. "Let us know if you're in traffic."
Their daughters affirmed her words with high-pitched hums before Julieta and Agustín heard the phone shuffle.
"Tell my stuffed animals that I love them," Luisa whispered desperately. There was a scoff that echoed in the background, and both knew Isabela was rolling her eyes.
Agustín chuckled. "Of course we will, mi leona."
"Gracias, pá, we'll see you soon."
Julieta smiled, her thumb hovering over the end call button. "We'll be waiting."
With every shift, the paper underneath her crinkled unbearably loud. She winced inwardly, trying to stay as still as possible, but to no avail. The noise bounced around the walls and came back even stronger.
Julieta released a heavy sigh, her eyes scanning the four-poster room and noticing medical posters pinned to the walls.
She jumped slightly when there was a soft creak of a doorknob. The door cracked open, revealing a petite-looking doctor in a laboratory coat and wearing a kind grin on her lips.
"Hola, Señora," she greeted. "I'm Doctora Esquivel. I'll be your physician for today." Julieta nodded and remained silent as the doctor sat down in a small chair and lowered her gaze towards the clipboard she was holding. "It says here you've been experiencing nausea, lack of appetite, headaches, and fatigue, is that correct?" she inquired.
"Sí, though my appetite hasn't been rather normal since..." Julieta swallowed thickly, her voice threatening to crack. "Since last year."
Esquivel looked up and inclined her head. "I see, so have the rest of your symptoms been reoccurring or new?"
"New."
The doctor continued to ask standard questions. Julieta answered quietly before the doctor went around with her routine of cleaning her hands and snapping gloves on to prepare for a physical examination.
Though the physician was doing her professional job, it felt odd to be touched by some random person other than her husband and family members. More or less, the process had her recall when Isabela - who was three at that time - had to go to the paediatrics for the flu and nearly kicked the doctor in the crotch when he had tried to check her ear.
After the doctor finished, she threw her gloves away and retrieved the clipboard. "Well, I don't see any lumps or anything out of the ordinary," she noted, writing something down on a paper. "There's no fever, runny nose, chills, and your heart sounds healthy- everything looks good."
"Do you have an idea of what it could be?" Julieta asked, her anxiety rising.
"I may have a vague idea, but I have to ask you: are you sexually active?"
A blush crept towards her cheeks. "I-uh... y-yes."
Esquivel simply nodded, unphased by her reaction, and kept it professional. She continued: "We can perform a blood test and see if perhaps you acquired any transmitted diseases that could correlate to your symptoms," she explained. "If that isn't the case, then we'll talk of more serious tests to figure out what's going on, sí?"
"Transmitted disease?" Julieta frowned, glaring at the doctor with narrowed slits of her eyelids. "My husband has never been unfaithful to me," Julieta stated confidently. "We've been married for more than twenty years-"
"That's not what I was implying, señora," the physician interjected quickly. "Be as it may, it could still happen- let's just make sure."
Julieta wanted to argue- wanted to keep telling her that Agustín would never cheat on her. He was loyal, and it showed through the years of being together and loving each other despite the rough waters they were going through.
There was still love- there was still the spark inside their souls that will never burn out.
But no matter how many times Julieta could tell this doctor, it would still lead to the blood tests. Her sight fell to her dangling feet. "Sí, gracias, Doctora Esquivel."
Julieta hid behind her hands and muffled a tired groan as soon as she left. The last she needed was for her professional doctor to ask her if she was active in their marital activities and tell her that she might have a transmitted disease. Not to mention that there could be marriage problems if it was true.
Just her luck.
Julieta released a heavy sigh and slumped her shoulders, hands falling from her face. While it did embarrass her to no extent to talk about her and Agustín's sex life, it was better than having a severe illness or cancer, right?
She bit her lip.
Right?
There was no time to think negatively when a knock interrupted her brooding thoughts. A nurse popped in with a tray, and Julieta held in a grimace, noticing the equipment that would take her blood.
The nurse smiled assuredly. "Don't worry, it won't take long."
"Where are they?"
"They're not answering their phones," Agustín replied, lowering the phone from his ear and lips downcast. Julieta averted her gaze from the window and looked towards him with knitted brows.
"They should've been here twenty minutes ago," she said. "Do you think traffic is that bad?"
He shook his head and blew out air from his mouth, running his fingers through his hair. "No, it's not even five o'clock for rush hour."
Julieta clenched her hands into fists, looking out to the window again. Above their window, bright fluffy clouds took up the blue sky, the sun breaking through their glass pane and brightening up the area where she stood.
But... there was something that made Julieta's senses buzz. It was imminent and substantial, nearly making her keel over with emotions of worry. Their daughters should know to call if something arises, such as a simple traffic delay.
She drew in sharply, lungs taking in the problematic breath.
At that moment, there was a prick of recognition in the back of her mind: wrong - all wrong.
Something wasn’t right.
"This isn't right..." she murmured under her breath.
"Amor?"
"Something's wrong-" Julieta turned abruptly and went straight towards the shoe rack. From afar, keys jangled as she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her purse, the thought of Isabela and Luisa occupying her mind.
Amidst her tunnel vision, she did not realise she and Agustín had already left their apartment and driving in their other car to the unknown destination of where Luisa and Isabela were.
It was aimless driving at this point. They had no idea where their daughters were and if they were okay. Maybe it was just her and her mother's instincts, but there was nothing more concerning than not knowing where the children were and why they weren't answering calls.
"Didn't Isa say that they would use the backway?"
"I believe so, but I don't think-"
The sounds of a siren-no- multiple sirens were blaring entered their ears, causing Agustín to curse, brake, and veer off to the side. Out of instinct, Julieta clutched at his hand, the sirens becoming increasingly loud as not only one ambulance past their car but two medical vehicles.
Agustín and Julieta glanced at each other, both sharing terrified looks. As if they read each other's minds, Agustín turned the wheel and pressed on the gas pedal, following after the ambulances while Julieta began muttering under her breath.
"Please, please-" her voice broke, tears gathering in her eyes and praying-begging that it wasn't what Julieta was thinking of. "Please, not them."
In an instant, however, watching with wide eyes as black smoke billowed past their car and rose into the air, she knew it was futile to plead for something that had already happened.
In front of them were cars aligned to the side, a few people outside their vehicles with creased foreheads and facial features wearing shock and concern. Julieta and Agustín unbuckled their seat belts and exited the car only to be assaulted by the smell of sulfur and acid whiff through their noses.
Julieta blinked against the smoke that stung her eyes and rounded the car, coming beside Agustín's rigid form.
Just as when she was about to ask, she saw it.
Two vehicles were at the scene; one was off the road with only a few scratch marks and a dented hood that released the smoke from the engine. and the other-
Their car... was entirely upside down, with one side of the car scraped and warped inwardly. A lone wheel was still turning, emitting almost inaudible squeaking as it began to slow down.
Smoke gathered around the damaged vehicle, still emanating from cracked pipes and wires. From inside and out, everything was crushed.
They could feel the car's heat as gentle wind cascaded over their forms, but all they could feel were shivers worming up their spines. Julieta's stomach churned, mouth covering her mouth and pupils dilating within a millisecond of seeing this horrifying sight.
No one was in the car.
"No," she breathed, throat raw. "No!"
Julieta thumbed over the band-aid, wincing upon the tenderness of where the small IV went in.
True to the nurse's word, it was relatively fast to get her blood drawn, but waiting for the diagnosis felt longer than it should have. When the nurse left, she pondered thoroughly on whatever she could have.
She couldn't recall being sick in the last year, only having a loss of appetite that correlated greatly to her losses. Julieta inhaled sharply, the thought of the doctor telling her it could be a transmitted disease.
Julieta bowed her head to stare blankly at the speckled tiles, swallowing the lump that formed within her throat.
There was no possible way that Agustín would ever do that- to be in an affair. Her mind couldn't even wrap around a situation where he would do such a thing. Even though there had been days when they argued and slept in different rooms, Julieta still trusted him, and he trusted her.
She knew it hadn't been easy for her husband since losing Isa and Lu... it was new waters they both weren't expecting to be thrust into, but either she had too much faith that he wasn't in an affair, or she was just that plain oblivious to the signs of a crumbling marriage.
A knock threw Julieta out of her thoughts, jerking her head towards the door that opened and revealed Doctora Esquivel with a clipboard in one hand. "Hola, Señora, did the IV go smoothly?"
"Sí," Julieta breathed deeply. "Do you have any results?"
At that, the doctor nodded, and Julieta could've sworn she saw a gleam of mirth in her eyes.
"Indeed-" she sat down onto the spinning stool and scooted closer. "We can confirm no positive tests of transmitted diseases."
Julieta let out a breath of relief, body relaxing.
Thank God.
She straightened, however, confusion crossing her features. "Then... what else could it be?"
Almost instantly, there was a tiny quirk on Esquivel's lips. "Ah, well, when we looked at your blood results, we found a higher balance in a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin, and you are between 152–32,177mIU."
Julieta blinked, registering the doctor's words slowly. "Wait- but that would mean..." her words died at the tip of her sudden dry tongue, eyes widening as the doctor nodded.
"Yes, your blood test has shown that your hCG is producing more than usual, and the symptoms you're experiencing explain a lot," the doctor smiled, but Julieta's face had fallen, face paling considerably. "Congratulations, Señora Madrigal, you are pregnant."
Air rushed out from her lungs as the word pregnant strained her ears and echoed within her mind.
Pregnant.
Pregnant?!
No.
"I-I can't be!" Julieta choked out, shaking her head. "They said I couldn't- I had complications- no!"
The smile had slipped from the doctor's mouth as it turned concerned. "I beg your pardon?"
"I can't be pregnant!" she nearly shouted, heaving between words. Julieta could remember very precisely that when she had risks with Luisa during the pregnancy and then proceeded to have a difficult birth, there were complications within her body. After that, the doctor explained to her she couldn't conceive afterwards. And they really couldn't, despite using no protection for years. "I couldn't- the doctor said I wasn't able to get pregnant after my last daughter-"
It wasn't like she minded that much, feeling satisfied with two babies to dote on and complete with her and Agustín's family of four.
But now?
Now it is just her and her husband with two resting in a cemetery... and apparently-
Julieta squeezed her hands into fists, giving off a faint tremble in her shoulders.
"No," she whispered, shaking her head again. "I'm not pregnant."
"Señora-"
"I'm not!"
"Your nose!"
Julieta's mouth fell open to retort, but then she felt something warm and gooey run above her lip, steadily trailing. She swiped it with the back of her hand, immediately noticing crimson red smeared across her knuckles.
She cupped her fingers around her nose, instantly tasting the coppery flavour within her mouth.
"Great," Julieta muttered through clenched teeth, wanting nothing more for the floor to swallow her up whole.
A hand holding a white paper towel entered her peripheral vision, and she clasped it before placing it underneath her nostrils, already sensing her blood soaking up the white material like a sponge.
"Here, why don't I grab-"
"No thanks."
Before the doctor could reciprocate, Julieta was already out the door.
She scurried down the hallway, ignoring the doctor's protests not too far away from her. She pushed the door open and saw a glance of Agustín's lanky form sitting up from his chair.
"Juli?"
"I'm done; let's go," she said rigidly, voice slightly muffled from the towel. She didn't allow him to ask any more questions nor move as her feet took long strides to the exit. The receptionist also sat up from her chair, brows furrowed together. "Señora, maybe we should-"
Julieta disregarded the worried voice and merely passed the desk and went outside, where the sun greeted her with overwhelming brightness. She moved straight towards their car, pulling at the handle until it finally clicked open.
She crawled into the passenger's seat side and looked down at her lap as she heard another door opening and the car shifting from the weight. The car door slammed closed, and Julieta flinched quietly.
There was a pause, and then-
"Corazón?"
"I'm fine," she said quickly- too quickly. Julieta jerked when a knuckle traced her cheek, and she whipped her gaze towards her husband, who wore an expression of anxiousness.
Her heart clenched, his hand resting on her hand, holding the sullied towel. "What happened?"
She shook her head. "It just started bleeding... it's normal."
Agustín thinned his lips. "That may be true, but your reaction with the doctor and receptionist was not- what happened in there?" he exhaled slowly, a fearful recognition dawning on his face. "Is it... cancer? A-are you dying?"
"No!" Julieta snapped, causing her husband to reel back in surprise. She could see the glimmer of hurt in his chocolate irises, the unmistakable shock in his dilating pupils. Guilt filled her frame. As much as it hurt him by her outburst, she couldn't help but feel the same way, remorse prodding her heart that she had directed her irritation towards Agustín when he never deserved it.
Her whole body deflated, and she craned her neck away from his direction, clamping her eyes closed. "I'm not dying," Julieta murmured tiredly, running her hand through her dishevelled hair. "Can we just go home now? Please..."
"Julieta..."
Julieta's breath hitched, hoping that her body wouldn't betray her when she felt tears accumulate in her eyeballs. "Please," she whispered, not bothering to look at her husband.
There was a beat or two of quietness.
Finally, Agustín turned on the car.
How did it come to this?
Julieta wanted to ask that repeatedly as she sat in a chair next to her younger daughter that occupied the hospital bed, quiet and frighteningly still. She held her hand, thumb running over their daughter's bruised hand while Agustín was on the other side, Luisa's favourite book in his hands: Winnie-the-Pooh.
"'Well,' said Pooh, 'what I like best,' and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called," he read, tone soft and low, his eyes glancing every so often towards Luisa.
Julieta looked over their daughter, lips wobbling.
Luisa had always been strong, yet she looked so small with all the tubes and wires connected to her. It was odd that Luisa - who was always physically fit - look fragile and tiny underneath the white, pristine sheets and medical equipment.
She could see the faint rising and falling of Luisa's chest, barely noticeable but still there.
And Isabela... was gone... died on impact.
Julieta sniffled and swiftly swiped the lone tear that rolled down her cheek, tired of all tears she had shed in the past few days. No amount of tears and sobs she could produce would bring their flor back to life, nor take their leona out from a coma.
Unbidden and tormenting, the memory was still fresh within their minds, searing and taunting them with the flashes of a broken car, red lights flickering and blaring sirens... then two transits that were holding their daughters.
Agustín had never sped that fast to catch up to them while Julieta had been busy heaving sobs, incoherent cries of "please" and "not my babies" all jumbled together as she had gripped the side handle so hard that her fingernails left indents within the car's surface.
He had parked illegally when they arrived at the hospital, leaving the car with still their key in the ignition. They both had run towards the ambulances, nurses, and doctors, already yelling for something and bringing them to different rooms.
All in a second, their breaths had been stolen away.
Luisa and Isabela had looked lifeless as they were wheeled, with blood staining their smooth skin and torn clothes. Oxygen masks had been pressed against their mouths, and their heads lolled with every shift as if they were in a deep sleep.
"...Code blue... heart... defibrillators... losing... blood..."
So many words had flown everywhere as these nurses and doctors wheeled their babies into separate rooms... all while they struggled against the nurses that held them back, the pleadings of letting the doctors do their job falling on deaf ears.
Agustín had managed to break free of their hold, running as soon as the door closed in front of him.
"Luisa!" he had shouted desperately before the security tried to guide him out. "Isabela!"
In the span of only two hours, their lives had been changed.
And it all had crashed when Isabela was pronounced dead.
How much Julieta and Agustín had wailed, holding each other and lungs constricting and heart begging to wake up from this nightmare.
Unfortunately, they didn't wake up, and neither did Isabela.
Now, their youngest daughter was all they had left. Though Luisa was currently in a coma, there was a peak of hope that she would wake up, and that gave both husband and wife the strength to keep going- to stay by their daughter's side and see her eyes crack open.
They would wait for as long as needed.
Julieta tried to shake away the traumatising memories, chocolate brown irises focusing on her slumbering daughter. Despite the fact that Luisa was currently fighting for life, her facial features were so lax.
Almost as if...
Julieta took a shaky breath, leaning forward to press a kiss to Luisa's temple, smoothing down her messy hair as Agustín finished his words.
"'Goodbye?'" he asked. "'Oh no, please. Can't we go back to page one and do it all over again?'"
Julieta wished that was the case, to restart everything and have the knowledge of the future and prevent all this. She bit her lip and squeezed Luisa's limp hand, the shy hope dashing away when their daughter didn't return the action.
She watched Agustín look up from the book, attempting a light-hearted grin. "What do you say, Lu? Shall we go back to page one?"
The silence was expected–
–but the sound of erratic beeping was not.
Both snapped their necks towards the heart monitor, and their hearts dropped to their stomachs when they saw the flatline. Agustín sat up straight with panic, pressing the emergency button with vigour, shouting for help.
Julieta's shaking frame hovered over Luisa's form, eyesight blurring her vision as she placed her hands on their daughter's pale cheeks. She began stroking her lukewarm cheeks, praying and hoping that Luisa would hear them.
"Don't do this," she cried, strokes becoming urgent and rough. "Don't do this- don't do this- please, Luisa!"
She could feel hands on her shoulders, pulling her back. "No! My baby- Luisa!" Julieta sobbed desperately, trying to shrug off the hands that gripped her shoulders. "She needs me- I can't leave her-"
But to no avail, she was dragged out from the room, struggling against the strong hold and not caring if she looked like a child flailing her limbs around and screaming. The last thing she saw before the door was shut closed was a doctor hanging over Luisa, a pair of medical equipment in their hands.
As soon as the hands let go, she practically flung towards the threshold, sobbing loudly when it closed with a 'click' and leaving her and Agustín in front of an oakwood door.
Julieta emitted a wordless cry, her body sliding down to the floor and curling up into a ball while Agustín stood there with wide eyes, frozen in his spot and mind trying to process what happened but too in shock to even comfort his wife.
From the other side, Julieta could hear the faint sounds of sharp, electrical sounds that mingled with the prolonged beeping, though she was unaware that her own crying mixed along with the artificial noises.
A rivulet of tears streamed down her face, an ugly cry escaping her aching lungs as she hugged herself to the ground. "Lo siento- lo siento," she struggled out, whimpering. "I'm so-so sorry, mi leona-" unintelligible words spewed out every now and then, a mixture of apologies and prayers at the tip of her tongue, barely passing as coherent enough to hear.
She didn't know how long she stayed in this position, but the eerie silence struck her very core as she made her frame shift upwards, staring straight at the door that blocked her from Luisa.
There was nothing. No noise, no solid and steady beeping.
Nothing.
Compressed within her very soul, she knew that Luisa had said goodbye. And the worst part was there was no way to go back to the first page.
Julieta's face screwed, her head tilting up and tremors wracking every inch.
Luisa left; she said goodbye. Gone.
She let out a harrowing scream.