Chapter Text
The next few weeks were filled with worry, apprehension, and anxiety. There was a reason why Julieta was scared and it wasn't just because of her age or the terms her doctor had explained why she couldn't have any more kids after Luisa- it was the startling realisation that this really was her last chance to have a baby.
At first, her mind didn't gather that information, having been filled with denial and overwhelming grief for her two daughters. Still, when she had talked to Lorenzo and saw herself in the mirror and noticed that indecipherable bump where a little life was nestled inside her, it became all too real… scary. She didn't want to lose the baby- the gift from their angels.
And she was determined to not let this chance go to waste.
She had taken the prenatal vitamins, ate healthy-like, went to a pregnancy centre to get her information filled out, and even bought maternity clothing before she really needed it. It was the most minor things that Julieta wanted to count, not just the big ones. She was willing to go the extra mile just to keep this little miracle safe within her womb.
As days turned into weeks, Julieta knew for a fact that she was doing something right because staring at the ultrasound pinned on the fridge - though a little gritty and blurry - she saw a clear outline of her and Agustín's baby with a strong heartbeat, and it made it worth the extra, careful steps she took.
Julieta thumbed the thin paper, a gentle smile on her lips and eyes shimmering. This was their baby… incredibly small and fragile and utterly dependent on her to ensure they would be safe. She rubbed her stomach, still small but more prominent to the naked eye.
"Doctora says you have a strong heartbeat," she said to them. "Soon enough, we'll finally know what you are, hmm?"
It was supposed to be the latest appointment that she was going to find out the gender, but to no avail; the baby was quite shy. No matter how often the ultrasound technician tried to coax the baby, they wouldn't budge.
Finally, they decided to try a different method involving taking a blood test to find out the gender and would soon call her the day after Christmas to announce what they would be.
She had wondered about it; if they'd have a little girl with Agustín's features, a boy looking similar to her, or an even mixture of them. Either way, Julieta was looking forward to putting a name on their face. Not to mention that she should be able to feel their movements soon.
It was odd.
With Isabela, her movements had been unexpected, but she had moved around when she had wanted to, and Julieta had felt Luisa move earlier. But with this one, they were more quiet and gentle with their limbs, rarely wanting to move during the ultrasound.
A hum escaped Julieta's mouth, her irises averting to her soft belly. "Are you going to move for mami soon?" she asked, tone tender. Though it could take up to twenty-one or more weeks to feel anything, she was hoping she'd be able to handle the delicate flutters of her baby before then.
She released a sigh and went to pinning the newest sonogram against their fridge below the older one, right next to where a picture of Isabela and Luisa hung. Julieta brushed past their pictures, mouth pursing and eyes going dim as she turned towards the red and white candles placed on the window sill right above the sink and reminded of the joyous season.
Another Christmas… and another year without her daughters to celebrate with them.
She blinked back the tears that accumulated, remembering the simpler times when in early December, their family of four would decorate the Christmas tree and then set up el pesebre near it. The girls always got so creative about it, always adding something new, something special to make their nativity scene unique each year.
She remembered when they had been little and used to still write letters to el niño Dios with the things they had dreamed of finding under the tree. And then she remembered how impatient they had been on every Christmas Eve because they had wondered what they would get and what the others would get as well. Their joy when they had finally got their gifts late at night and the smiles they had sent both her and Agustín would be forever imprinted in her mind.
The previous year's celebrations were a nightmare. What used to be filled with laughter and a generous amount of memories was replaced with loneliness and utter grief. Even though she and her husband had gathered for the family dinner with her family members, it had hurt. And it hadn't helped that Pepa had been pregnant at that time, and she had had her other healthy two children, while Julieta had had to bury her own.
In those times, that had been the mindset. No matter how often she reprimanded herself for thinking such a way, it had been coming back in full force, feeding her toxic and unhelpful thoughts. Especially when Antonio was born.
Not that it was anyone's fault- indeed, Julieta wanted to be happy for Pepa and Félix, but while they had been celebrating new life, she had had to mourn the two most essential lives that had been snuffed out by that damn drunk driver-
Julieta shook her head and sniffed, swiping away the lone tear that trailed down her cheek before smoothing down her apron, cradling her belly, and exhaling quietly. Despite everything, Julieta knew she had to, essentially, move on.
No more looking back, no more stressing and committing unhealthy habits, no more 'what ifs' or 'what else could I have done?' - No. More.
Easier said than done, she knew, but...
There was a baby in the picture now, and it changed everything after accepting what was going on. Her focus had to shift, and it started with making sure her and Agustín's baby came to meet their parents healthy and safe.
Though the loss of her other babies would hurt no less, the priority in her life was on the tiny heartbeat beneath her own beating organ.
She looked towards the prepared food sitting on the counter and then the mountain of dirty dishes and utensils in the sink. Huffing quietly, she walked to the sink and turned on the water before soaking the sponge with soap. As she scrubbed the first plate, her thoughts wandered to the family party about to commence in a few hours.
Her forehead creased slightly, unsure how to announce her pregnancy to her family members.
The Madrigals had been careful with her since then, gentle with what they were saying and mentioning as if she was a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any second. They stopped bringing up the subject of children and school. They treaded with her like they were on thin ice, and Julieta couldn't blame them. During that year, it was confirmed that she was prone to nearly being on the verge of emotional outbursts and dissociation. But things were a lot more different now- their life was about to change again.
Julieta bit her lip, looking out the window and viewing the trees planted in front of their complex. She watched a leaf flutter down, landing on the rock's surface and then being blown away by a gentle breeze.
In all honesty, she really didn't know how her family would react to her pregnancy, but she prayed that the outcome would be positive.
Agustín shifted the gear in the park as they arrived at the Madrigal family casa, turning off the car and sighing loudly. He rubbed his neck, comforting a kink that collected itself while driving.
The ride to his wife's family home wasn't too far, but it had felt forever that they finally made it since there was traffic like always at that time of the year.
He turned, looking over to the passenger's seat side. The sun was slowly setting already and it was getting darker and darker with every minute. With the aid of the porch light, he could see the faint outline of his wife, one hand holding the pan on her lap and the other in the pocket of her jacket, no doubt stroking the small bump.
It was all he had seen her hands really do in the past few weeks, cradling and running her fingers over her barely noticeable belly, hidden by her clothing. It didn't precisely concern him with how touchy she was; Julieta was always affectionate with her babies, inside the womb or outside it. Still, he had noticed the frequent touches and glances at her swelling abdomen, almost as if she was making sure they were still there.
Julieta would probably say otherwise, as she had explained that she was waiting for the baby to move and trying to encourage them to shift, and while that may be true, he knew it held a deeper meaning to this action.
It was like observing a mother bear protecting their young - constantly vigilant with their babies and their surroundings. And with Julieta, it was exactly what she was doing.
Protective. Attentive and wary. Careful.
Agustín hummed softly and reached out to flatten his palm against the material of her jacket, feeling her warmth seep through his skin. Beneath his fingers, he could sense movement, though it wasn't the baby.
"Still trying to persuade them to move?" he asked quietly.
Julieta sighed. "Sí."
"I guess they're shy."
"They're currently occupying my womb and constantly making me eat eggplant and every food that I despise, and the answer I get is that they're shy?" she asked incredulously, arching an eyebrow.
He chuckled lightly and tapped his fingers against her bump. "The doctor did say they were smaller."
Julieta frowned. "That doesn't make it any better, Agustín," she murmured. "Our babies were moving around eighteen weeks-even earlier for Luisa, but this one-" she emphasised her small, growing stomach. "Hasn't moved very much even on the ultrasound."
"Ay," he leaned in to kiss her temple. "Every baby is different, amor; there's no need to fret."
Julieta grumbled quietly, her hand running over her bump one last time before buttoning up the jacket, concealing the new development of her swell. As if she saw his puzzled look, she sighed and shrugged. "I want to have a nice dinner before Pepa goes all loca with our announcement, okay?"
Ah. So this explained why she picked a jacket and lose wide-leg pants for today. It hid her figure quite well without giving away anything, plus it had to be quite warming since, despite the warm nature of December, Julieta felt constantly cold and it was a miracle itself she didn't appear here with a blanket draped over her shoulders.
She placed a hand on top of Agustín's, which was still resting on the smooth fabric. "I know it feels like we prolonged this, but I just want-"
"-hey, it's okay, querida," Agustín cut off softly. "I understand."
And it was as simple as that.
She released a breath and nodded, giving him a small smile. "Gracias, mi amor."
He returned the gesture, inching forward and pressing a proper kiss on her lips. "Of course."
Something tilted the axis in Pepa's world the first moment Julieta and Agustín walked in through the door. It could be said to be a secret triplet intuition, or maybe it just still startled her that she'd never see her sobrinas coming through that door anymore or those bright smiles her hermana wore whenever they visited, but she decided to observe.
Her thoughts quickly went wild, though. Pepa didn't think she would ever get used to the fact that two people would be missing from the family dinner gatherings and the pair of empty chairs that would never be used.
Though it wasn't her fault, she still felt guilty for being pregnant around the same time her sister lost her own babies. She had to be reassured by Félix every time, reminding her that none of the repercussions of her pregnancy and the death of Julieta's children so close together was her fault, but it still happened and didn't make it any easier.
Pepa recalled the gatherings after Isabela's and Luisa's death, and how Julieta hadn't been the same person anymore. She had rarely shown interest; her eyes had glimmered with extreme grief, and she had held herself as someone who had their life sucked away from them. It was almost a miracle that her sister and brother-in-law visited at all.
Her lips thinned as she glanced at Julieta, who sat at the kitchen table decorating the natillas in small bowls and responding in a way she hadn't done in over a year. She still wore her jacket buttoned up but seemed unphased with the cooking heat surrounding the area, while Pepa was already sweating from hovering over the stove and frying the empanadas in boiling oil. Wiping a few beads of sweat with her forearm, she proceeded to dip the last few empanadas into the oil, using the tongs to ensure that none would stick to each other.
"How are you not hot?" she asked suddenly, groaning when a pocket of steam blew towards her face.
She heard her sister hum noncommittedly. "I'm not the one in front of cooking oil."
"No, but I always seem to know that my hermana gets hot easily," she retorted, directing her gaze at Julieta with a quirk of her eyebrow.
Julieta shrugged and flashed her a small smile. "I guess I'm just colder..."
"Colder? The tempe–" her words were cut off by a small whine.
Pepa's eyes flickered to Antonio in his portable bassinet she kept near and she saw two chubby hands flailing everywhere and a lone teddy bear on the floor. Pepa looked back at the frying dough and then at her son.
"Give me a moment, Toñito," she soothed, preparing to step away from the stove real quickly-
"I got him."
Pepa opened her mouth to retort, but Julieta was already there, plucking the baby from the confines of the bassinet and cooing softly. Pepa blinked, mildly confused at her eldest sister's actions.
It used to be a norm for Julieta to coo and care for other people's babies, but since the day of her own children's death, she had barely batted a glance towards Antonio, Camilo, Dolores or any other kids for that matter.
No one pushed Julieta to hold Antonio or interact with the other children, but it continued to prod the guilt that Pepa carried within her heart. However, watching her hermana coo and play with him... it was as if she had done this before with her son. As if it wasn't the first time they interacted.
Julieta didn't wear an expression of grimace or heartache but rather cheerfulness. Her hand carefully caressed the baby's fuzzy head while the other was wrapped around Antonio's round stomach, keeping him secure as she bounced him on her lap.
Pepa stared at the sight, observing Julieta act like her usual self before the deaths of the girls, happy and calm and always looking forward to spending time with her sobrina and sobrino. It was almost endearing if it weren't for the fact that Julieta hadn't done this in quite some time.
Slowly turning towards the pot, Pepa began to drain the empanadas onto a paper towel, blowing a breath. She decided not to say anything but a small "gracias" to Julieta and continued to ponder what changed in her.
Distantly, she could hear Antonio's happy coos and breathless gasps of giggles along with Julieta's baby voice she used with smaller kids. She listened thoroughly as she emptied the pot and dumped the last empanadas onto the paper towel. She quickly patted them dry and transferred them to a ceramic plate before whirling around with a wide smile.
"¡La cena está preparada!" Pepa called out, her voice resonating throughout the hallways and into the family area.
Julieta followed her as they went to the diner's room, where the rest of the food was laid out on the long dark oak table. The other Madrigal family members arrived not a second later, bustling to their respective chairs and chatting with each other.
Pepa caught a glimpse of her sister sitting beside Agustín, still jiggling Antonio up and down in her arms. He smiled at them and allowed the baby to play with the fingers he offered.
As everyone settled down in their chairs, Pepa swiftly joined Félix across from Julieta and her husband. Two seats still remained empty at the end of the table, but no one mentioned removing them nor wanted to.
Everyone was sitting, but their mamá - who sat at the head of the table - remained standing, her hands clasped together and a warm smile on her face as she looked at their family.
"¡Feliz Navidad para todos!" she exclaimed, earning echoes of the exact words. "I am pleased that we are all gathered here to celebrate the birth of our Lord, and for the family; let us pray and eat the wonderful food prepared for us."
They all said their Grace before digging into the food; voices, music and laughter filled the air.
Pepa didn't say anything as she plated herself some food and passed it around for the others to take. Her gaze was focusing on each member, noticing Dolores and Camilo joking about something, Félix and Agustín talking about their jobs, and then mamá and Bruno chatting quietly while eating.
Her vision landed on Julieta, who still held Antonio in her arms, completely content as she ate with her free hand, looking back at the baby with a significant smile. And even now, she wore her jacket.
It also caught their mamá's attention because Alma cleared her throat and looked at Julieta with confusion.
"Julieta, mi vida, why are you still wearing your jacket?" she asked genuinely. "It looks so thick and it's so warm in here!"
Everyone swivelled their heads towards Julieta, curious at the newfound information they didn't realise except Agustín.
Pepa watched a few emotions flash through Julieta's face; confusion, fear, and now... compliance. It was all too quick to notice it from different views, but she knew her sister like the back of her hand.
Julieta faced Agustín, an unspoken conversation between them before she looked at everyone with a nervous smile. "Ay... well, I suppose it's now or never," she murmured, handing Antonio to her husband.
"Now or never for what?" Alma queried, but Julieta didn't answer verbally but physically.
Pepa knitted her eyebrows together, wondering what her oldest sister was doing as she began to unbutton the navy blue jacket, shrugging it off to reveal the gentle colour of a blue blouse.
She squinted slightly, still not understanding. Then, Julieta stood up and smoothed her shirt, and Pepa's eyes followed her hands before-
–Julieta's fingers pressed into her abdomen, the blouse folding inwards and pressing tightly against the now-visible small curve of the stomach hidden underneath. "I'm pregnant."
Pepa gasped so loudly it sounded like she stopped breathing for a moment, and then an uproar of joyful clamours rose above the atmosphere.
"A baby?!"
"¡Enhorabuena!"
"Ay, got a lucky shot, huh, Gus?"
Dolores screwed up her face and grimaced at the comment. "Pa!"
"What?" Félix said, unphased by their hija's expression. "It's what happened with Antonio-"
Pepa ignored her husband's conversation as she stood up and rounded the table to stand a few inches from Julieta, her face still wearing one of shock. She merely stared at her hermana, the world spinning around, but it was frozen in time between them.
"You're pregnant?" she asked, still flabbergasted.
Julieta nodded, a faint blush creeping up on her cheeks. "Sí... I'm about eighteen weeks," she responded softly, rubbing her stomach. "It was completely unplanned," Julieta added quickly, her gaze faltering. "We... it just happened..."
"I know the feeling," Pepa replied weakly, glancing at Julieta's indecipherable midsection with a softened facial expression.
She remembered when Julieta had told her the news that she couldn't bear any more children after Luisa. She hadn't looked entirely upset, but Pepa knew that her sister's reassurance hid the undeniable sadness of not having the third child she and Agustín wanted to have. But despite this, they were still satisfied with their other babies.
Then... their satisfaction was replaced with emptiness.
Now, a third baby was on the way. Without their siblings to greet them.
"Juli," she breathed, leaning close to her. "I don't understand... I thought..."
"The doctors, they..." Julieta interjected quietly, sighing shakily. "They told me... and they were right... for fifteen years at least."
"After Isa and Lu... It's..." she fell silent.
"Lo sé," Julieta whispered brokenly. "It was a whole inconvenience when I found out, and I couldn't– I didn't want it, I wasn't happy until I realised... that maybe..." she took a large breath and caressed her stomach tenderly. "Maybe this bebé is a gift from them..."
Pepa lowered her head, observing how her sister's hands protectively ran over the tiny bump.
"I know what you're going to say... but I... I want this," Julieta stated quietly. "I want this baby, and I love them, but I also love Isa and Lu, and I know they would want me to care for their baby sibling the way I loved and doted on them."
There was a moment of silence between the sisters, and Pepa could feel a rush of unshed tears in her eyes. Without warning, she inched forward before wrapping her slender arms around Julieta's form, hugging her tightly. Julieta wasted no time returning the hug, burying her face into her bony shoulder.
They stayed in the hug for a minute, enjoying each other's company, deaf to whatever was happening around them. When they pulled away at arm's length, Pepa grinned wetly. "Welcome to the menopause pregnancy club."
A laugh bubbled out, and the corners of Julieta's lips lifted upwards, in a smile so wide and bright that Pepa felt her heart leap with joy. "Gracias, Pepi."
Pepa hugged Julieta again. Her sister was back.
Julieta shuffled her feet out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a bra and high-waisted underwear as she ran her comb through her wet hair. She pursed her lips and sat down on the bed, her eyes flickering to her developing midsection, a frown morphing her features.
The duration of this past week involved celebrating Christmas and Camilo's birthday with and without the rest of her family members and the most exciting event: finding out the gender.
It was by far the best late Christmas present she received this year, and she couldn't wait to announce it to Agustín. She had a few ideas on how to tell him what they were having, but for now, she intended to keep it a secret until New Year's Eve.
Other than that, Julieta had still not felt the baby move as the days passed, and she had never had a baby that didn't move so late in the term. She recalled that Isabela was right on time and Luisa was significantly earlier, but this one was still so small and delicate with their movements that Julieta wondered if she'd ever feel them. Quite dramatic of her but she had good reasons to think this way, apparently.
Though always almost infinite, now her patience was wearing thin.
Julieta placed her hands on the gentle swell, stroking her thumbs against the soft material of her underwear. "When are you going to move for mami?" she inquired softly, focusing her gaze on the belly.
She let out a sigh, knowing that she wouldn't get a response, though the hope still lingered at that moment.
Well, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Julieta stood up, her fingers still caressing circles on her skin as she approached the dresser. The top had multiple bottles of lotion and cologne, and she reached for one. She slid her undergarment to her hips, revealing the slight roundness of her abdomen.
"Let's see if this will work, hmm?" Julieta put a large dollop of lotion on the palm of her hand before slathering it onto her stomach. The cool touch made her shiver, but she continued to rub the substance in.
It was either going to work or not, but with both her daughters, it worked just fine, so there was hope. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes as she focused on trying to find the head and rubbing the spot.
"Any time, mi amor," Julieta murmured to them.
Again, there was no movement.
After a few minutes of smoothing her skin with the lotion and trying to encourage the baby to move, she found herself sighing loudly in defeat. "We'll try again later, hijita."
"Did you just say hijita?"
Julieta jumped, heart racing, when she heard her husband's voice from the door frame. She snapped her head towards the door, looking at Agustín, who was staring in her direction with wide eyes.
"Uh, I-"
"We're having a little girl?" he repeated in a voice barely a whisper, holding a tone of awe.
Bashfully, she nodded. "Aye..."
At that moment, Agustín flung himself to the other side of the bed, approaching Julieta with excitement, kneeling in front of her and placing his large hands on her swell.
"Pequeña," he cooed, his forehead practically touching her bare skin. "We're having a little girl!" Agustín peered up at Julieta with a wide smile.
Even though she tried to keep it a secret, she couldn't contain the grin that split through her face. "I wanted to surprise you on New Year's Eve... but I guess the timing is always perfectly imperfect..."
Agustín straightened, his lips still curved warmly and hands keeping her stomach warm. "Ay, and you said I was horrible at keeping secrets," he replied teasingly, earning a light smack on his shoulder.
"You're still bad at it," Julieta retorted with a huff, but the glimmer of love still shone in her eyes.
He stuck out his bottom lip, pouting. "Hey, I kept the secret of our beloved milagro until you announced it!"
Julieta quirked an eyebrow and drew closer until their faces were an inch away, the corner of her lips lifting up into a playful grin as she wrapped her hands around his waist. "That you did, mi amor," she responded. "I applaud you."
Agustín hummed. "Can you applaud me by kissing me?"
"Hmm..."
She pressed her lips against her lover's, feeling the warmth of his skin seep into her own. Despite how many times they kissed in the years being together, it never ceased to amaze Julieta how her heart jumped with elation and utter affection for her husband each time. Even when things were difficult, there was still a spark between them that, fortunately, never fizzled out.
Their kiss lasted until Julieta broke it off with a sharp gasp, her hands flying to her gentle swell again. There she felt the tiny popping beneath her skin, like little bubbles tickling the outlines of her insides and brushing along like delicate butterfly wings trying to flap. The sensation continued, becoming more evident and prominent that their baby was indeed shifting within her.
"I feel her," she whispered, directing her eyes at Agustín with watery eyes. "Amor, she's moving!"
Agustín chuckled and hovered his hands over hers. "Finally, hmm?"
Julieta replied with a laugh and sob, nodding. "Sí."
He looked sympathetic. "Hormones...?"
"Sí," she whimpered and pressed her fingers against her skin, but she was still grinning and crying. Not the best sight to look at but Agustín's soft gaze was just as adoring as ever.
They both looked down at her midsection, and while they wouldn't be able to see her move just yet, they knew precisely where their daughter's heart resided, nestled lovingly inside her womb. Safe and warm.
Julieta closed her eyes, feeling a tear slip down her cheek. How desperately she wished her other daughters were here to experience this joyful moment. She yearned for their warm embrace waiting with them to meet the little one in a few months more.
In certain aspects, she liked to think they were looking down at them with broad smiles, celebrating in the Heavens of their baby sister to come.
And hopefully, they still shared the joy with them, even if any of them staying here, on Earth, would never see it with their own eyes.