Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eddie leaves the 118. He hates it, leaving the house, but he has to. He has to be safer, for Christopher if no one else.

Two weeks later, there’s a massive fire in the warehouse district. Eddie’s watching the news coverage, Christopher by his side, even though Christopher really shouldn’t be watching. Neither of them can look away though because the 118 is there and Eddie can’t stop thinking I should be there I should be there I should be there.

Eddie can make out Bobby, Hen, Ravi, even Albert and the rest of the 133 – but he can’t find Buck in the crowd of firefighters. His vision blurs a little bit and he’s forcefully reminded of the last time they responded to a warehouse fire this big, that stupid hand sanitizer factory, and the scream that Buck let out trying to save someone else’s life but not his own. Eddie’s heart is racing, and in a panic, he thinks no, not him too.

He and Christopher watch, devastated, when the 118 run back into the fire, into the warehouse that should’ve been empty but wasn’t, and come out carrying a too-still figure between them. Half an hour later, the reporter on-scene confirms that there is at least one firefighter dead.

The call comes through as soon as the reporter finishes talking, and Eddie can barely make out Bobby’s voice as his captain tells him that Buck’s dead.

Eddie cries and sobs and Christopher cries and wails. The two of them hold each other so tight that Eddie forgets that it’s a school night, Christopher should be going to bed, because his best friend, the man he’s in love with and never told, is dead and Eddie is a coward for never telling him.

When they go to bed that night, Christopher sharing Eddie’s bed not for the first time since they moved to L.A. but the first time since Eddie was shot, since Eddie made the decision to leave the 118. Eddie prays and wishes and begs Let me go back. I’ll do it right, I’ll tell him. Take me back, give him back to me. Please, you took Shannon, you can’t take him too. Please.

(The universe listens.)

Eddie wakes up to the sound of his alarm and aching eyes. The second makes sense, Eddie fell asleep while crying into Christopher’s hair. The first – Eddie hasn’t set an alarm to wake up at 5:45am since he left the 118.

He rolls onto his back – he slept on his right side? He hasn’t done that since the sniper – and throws an arm out to find Christopher only to hit nothing but comforter. Eddie frowns because he knows for a fact that Christopher slept in his bed and would absolutely not be awake before him after a night like that. “Christopher?” Eddie’s voice echoes, and that’s when he opens his eyes.

And blinks because he did decorate his bedroom, adding pictures and trinkets and knick-knacks and other miscellaneous objects that a person acquired while living in one place for long enough. But his room is as blank as the day he and Chris moved into the house. Sure, it’s furnished and if Eddie looked, he’d probably find all of his clothes put away properly. But none of his things, his personal touches that Buck insisted on, are present.

Eddie startles so badly that he nearly throws himself out of bed. He’s just finding his feet when Christopher walks in, looking just as confused as Eddie feels. “Dad? Where did all our stuff go?”

“What stuff, mijo?” Because it’s one thing for Eddie’s bedroom to be empty, but it’s something else entirely for Christopher to be missing things. Eddie’s so busy cataloguing what isn’t there that he hasn’t really looked at Chris beyond the initial glance of confusion.

“Our pictures with Buck,” Chris says, and the sheer amount of sadness reminds Eddie that oh, his best friend is gone. Eddie goes to pull Chris to his side, and he stops when he wraps an arm around Chris, his son’s shoulder several inches lower than it had been the day before.

Eddie looks down, and his seven-year-old son looks back up at him, which is wrong because Chris is a few months out from his eleventh birthday. He drops to his knees, staring at Chris. Sure enough, the face of his son is that of a seven-year-old, no sign of the braces that Chris complained bitterly about or of the growth spurt that had Eddie short on cash for days as he was constantly updating Chris’s wardrobe.

“Chris,” Eddie says after a long moment of staring. “I need to look at my phone to check something, okay?” Chris nods, still frowning, but Eddie knows that his confusion must’ve shifted to something like panic in the few moments he was studying Chris. Eddie nods back, looking for a little longer, before he takes his hands off of Chris’s shoulders, almost diving for his phone – which is a few versions behind his current model.

Eddie opens up the calendar app to be sure, and he just stares at the date. August 5th, it reads, 2018.

“Holy shit,” Eddie whispers.

Chris crosses the few steps between where his dad had left him to where Eddie’s kneeling on the ground in a wide-eyed stupor. “That’s not right,” he announces after a moment of looking at Eddie’s phone. “It’s January 2022.”

Eddie swallows, turning back to Chris. “Chris, buddy, I’m gonna show you something, okay? And I need you to not freak out.” And Eddie hardly waits for Chris to nod before opening up his camera and flipping it to selfie mode, holding it up to Chris’s face.

Chris scrunches up his nose and Eddie hardly has time to think that’s a Buck face before Chris says, “That’s not me anymore. Dad, that’s an old picture.” Eddie reaches with his free hand and pokes Chris’s cheek, making sure Chris can tell that, no, it’s not an old picture. Chris frowns again, pushing Eddie’s phone away to get his hands on his father. “Your shoulder,” Chris says after a moment, hands trying to push Eddie’s t-shirt out of the way.

Eddie takes his t-shirt off – without a single inkling of anything ever having been wrong with his right shoulder because the left one already has a bullet scar – and Chris’s eyes are wide as he runs his hand over what Eddie knows is the unscarred skin of Eddie’s right shoulder. No bullet has ever torn through him, no sniper’s round dropping him to the ground, no blood spattered over Buck’s face as Eddie thought Buck’s been hit before the white-hot pain tried its hardest to knock him unconscious.

“Daddy,” Chris says, sounding like the seven-year-old he hasn’t been for a long time, “what’s happening?”

And Eddie wishes, he wishes he had a solid answer, more than the absurd theory he’s been stuck with. “I think,” he starts slowly, “that we’ve been sent back in time.”

Chris frowns. “Like in Back to the Future?” Eddie nods, still trying to process it himself. “But we don’t have a flux capacitor,” Chris says like that’s the only thing wrong with this situation.

“Time travel hasn’t been discovered yet, buddy,” Eddie says absently, reaching for his phone again. The date is August 5th, which means that tomorrow is Eddie’s first day at the 118. He turns back to Chris, his eyes wide. “Buck’s alive.”

Like a switch gets flipped, Chris lights up. “Buck’s alive! We have a chance to save him!”

Thank you, Eddie sends out to the universe, believing for the first time in a long time that someone was out there listening. Thank you for giving me a second chance. “We have to be careful,” Eddie says after a deep breath, Chris cheering that Buck’s still alive. “We’re probably the only ones who know the future, so we have to be careful about what we say and do.”

Chris goes quiet for a moment before asking, “What about Mommy?”

Eddie sucks in a breath. “Let’s prove ourselves right about time travel first, buddy. Then we can worry about Mommy and Buck.” Because, shit, Chris is right. If they really have been sent back in time, that means that Eddie will call Shannon for help with Chris’s new school in a couple of months. He’ll see her again for the first time in years – only this time she’ll have been dead instead of a few states away.

The morning is weirdly normal after that. They do their morning exercises, Eddie his workout and Christopher his stretches, before eating breakfast (two bowls of Rice Krispies, god Eddie misses Buck’s cooking.) Then they get dressed and, because there’s really nowhere else to go, to Abuela’s house.

Christopher’s talking about stories of time travel – Eddie had explained it to his grandmother as his newest interest – when Eddie’s phone rings. He looks to his Abuela, currently preparing lunch, and she waves him off to answer it, smiling at Christopher.

It’s only when Eddie steps into the backyard, making an absent note to himself to fix the back porch, that he answers. “Hello?”

“Eddie,” Shannon says down the line, and for the first time since waking up, Eddie truly feels like he’s back in the past.

“Shannon,” he replies, just as shakily but trying to hide it. “This is a surprise,” he adds a half-beat too late, trying to cover up the way it feels like he just saw a ghost.

“I, um, I was wondering if we could talk? If you were available,” Shannon continues, and Eddie very sternly reminds himself that Shannon didn’t know yet, doesn’t know that Eddie’s moved to L.A.

“I have an address for us to meet if you want.” It feels like offering too much at once, jumping ahead in the story and cheating the universe out of something, but Eddie and Christopher have been mourning her death for years. Eddie’ll take the consequences if it means bringing Shannon back into their lives a little sooner.

There’s a beat before Shannon says, “You’re in L.A.” Eddie wonders if she should sound more surprised before she agrees to meet at the house that evening. He tells her the address and they figure out a time.

Eddie considers leaving Christopher with Abuela, but the two of them are the only ones that remember and Eddie’s not gonna take away any more time Christopher can get with his mother. It’s only on the drive back to the house that Eddie brings it up. “Chris,” he starts, “I got a phone call today.” Chris hums, and Eddie thinks fuck it. “Mommy’s coming to the house tonight.”

Christopher perks up, leaning forward against the seatbelt towards Eddie. “Mommy’s coming? To our house?” Eddie nods and Christopher cheers.

“But remember, buddy,” Eddie says when Chris pauses for breath. “We can’t tell her anything.” His son nods, his face serious.

“Like Back to the Future,” Christopher says. “We have to keep the timeline intact.”

Eddie nods, thinking about how Chris keeps using Back to the Future as his frame of reference. “Yeah, like Back to the Future.”

Eddie’s ordered pizza and gotten Christopher distracted with a Lego set by the time Shannon knocks on the door that evening. He takes a deep breath to prepare himself, but nothing can stop the wave of grief that threatens to overtake him when Eddie opens the door.

Shannon’s wearing the same outfit she wore the first time, yellow shirt and clogs, holding onto the thin strap of her purse on her shoulder. Eddie’s pretty sure he didn’t hold her this long the first time they had this reunion, but he can’t bring himself to care when his wife’s been dead for three and a half years.

When they finally separate and Eddie lets Shannon inside, all of the old awkwardness rushes in. “It’s a nice place,” Shannon says, sitting after Eddie gestures to the couch.

“Yeah, I got a good deal,” Eddie agrees, sitting in the armchair. He clears his breath, aware of Christopher in his room down the hall. “What, uh, what did you want to talk about?”

Shannon blows out a breath. “I just – I wanted to reach out, see if it was too late to make amends. I wasn’t expecting you to answer my call, actually,” she admits.

“I didn’t have a good reason not to,” Eddie replies, and really, was he this bad the first time around? He’d been trying to give her her space, only breaking the long silence between the two of them when Christopher needed something.

“Yes, you did,” Shannon says, just a hair’s breadth away from casual, continuing when Eddie opens his mouth to speak. “So, got any jobs lined up yet?”

Eddie clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m a firefighter with LAFD.” He takes a breath before continuing, about how he’s going to start the next day actually, when Shannon says –

“How’s Buck?”

And Eddie blinks. There’s a strange emptiness where he thinks any of his thoughts are supposed to be because that’s – “How do you know Buck,” he says slowly, more statement than question, and Shannon just hangs her head, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

“Shit,” she mutters behind her hands. “I knew I was gonna blow it.”

“Shannon,” Eddie says in that same slow, cautious tone. “How do you know who Buck is?” Eddie hasn’t mentioned Buck, has barely gotten past the hi, how are you’s of this strange reunion, and Shannon’s already thrown the script out the window.

Shannon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she squares her shoulders and meets Eddie’s eyes again. “I have something to tell you and I need you to pretend that you believe me,” she says, voice firm.

Luckily for her, Eddie already knows what it is. “You’ve traveled back in time,” he says, and Shannon’s shoulders slump like Eddie’s just stolen the wind from her sails.

“How did you know?” she asks weakly.

“I don’t meet Buck until tomorrow,” Eddie admits, and Shannon’s look of tiredness shifts into realization. “Chris,” Eddie calls, “you can come in!”

Sure enough, Christopher’s crutches sound against the floor towards them, quickly but steadily, and it’s not long before the boy himself rounds the corner into the living room. “Mommy!” he cries, crossing to where Shannon’s sitting frozen on the couch. “You’re alive!” Eddie’s really glad that Shannon got sent back too because if she hadn’t, Eddie’s not sure how he could’ve written Chris’s reaction off as “oh, he hadn’t see you in three years and thought you were dead” and had that go over well.

Shannon wraps him up in her arms when he’s close enough, pressing her face into his head. Eddie doesn’t blame her when she starts to tear up – this is the first time he’s seen the two of them together in person in years. “Oh, I missed you, baby,” Shannon says, pressing kisses to the top of Christopher’s head.

It’s only when she and Christopher part long enough for Christopher to sit on the couch next to his mother that Shannon turns her attention back to Eddie. “I’m sorry,” she starts, “it’s just that the last time I saw him – ”

“Was right before the accident,” Eddie finishes. He remembers the way his stomach had bottomed out when he saw her laying so, so still in the middle of that crosswalk.

Shannon’s watching him, and Eddie has to remember that this is his wife, the woman who’s known him so long and the mother of his child. What this boils down to is that Shannon knows to how read Eddie, especially when he doesn’t want her to. “How long?” Eddie startles a little, caught up in the way Shannon’s holding Chris tight to her side. “How long since I died?”

Eddie blows out a breath. “About three and a half years,” he admits, and Chris whimpers a little at the reminder, holding Shannon a little bit tighter.

“So what brought you back?” Eddie wants to open his mouth, to object, to argue, but Shannon’s a smart woman. “C’mon, we both know it wasn’t me.” He chews on his lips and he considers what to tell her when Shannon decides that Eddie apparently needs a little more persuading. “When I was – dying,” she starts, tripping over the word, “I begged with anyone, everyone, to let me have a little more time.” She presses her face into Christopher’s hair. “I just needed a little bit more time to get it right.”

I’ll do it right, Eddie remembers begging the universe. “We didn’t die,” Eddie explains, and then he just. Stops. Because how can he tell Shannon that their grief over her death wasn’t enough to send them back in time, but their grief over Buck’s was?

“Buck died,” Chris says like Eddie isn’t agonizing over the decision to tell Shannon the truth. “Dad left the station, and Buck died.”

And Shannon – for all their arguments, all their fighting, all their miscommunication and inability to meet each other in the middle for understanding – Shannon must get how devastating that must’ve been for them because she reaches for Eddie’s hand. “You never told him,” she says instead of literally anything else, and Eddie just stares at her.

“What,” he breathes. Eddie hadn’t known for he felt about Buck when Shannon died, hadn’t known when a few weeks later Buck had been trapped under a fire truck, later when Buck threw up blood at a party thrown for him, when he got caught in the tsunami, when they were separated by a lawsuit, when Eddie fell down the well, when he got shot.

So how could Shannon know?

Shannon’s smile is sad but there’s no judgement, no anger in her face. “Hard not to tell when you talked about him all the time. It just made it easier for me to ask you for – ” She glances down at Christopher, biting her lip.

Eddie never told their son about Shannon asking for a divorce. Hell, he hardly told Bobby. The only person he told was Buck in the dead of the night in those few weeks between Shannon dying and Buck being blown up. “I didn’t know,” Eddie admits.

“I know,” Shannon says, open and without any trace of hesitation. “It doesn’t mean you weren’t already in love with him.”

Something about hearing Shannon say it like that, so plainly, so obviously, makes Eddie wonder who else knew. Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Athena? Carla? Ana? God, Buck?

“Dad was afraid,” Chris tells Shannon with all the wisdom of a ten-year-old currently in his seven-year-old body. “That Buck didn’t love him too. I heard them talking about it,” he adds in a loud whisper.

Shannon leans down, and Eddie has a horrible mental overlapped image of Buck doing the same thing with Chris on the couch, leaning in to hear whatever secrets Christopher’s meant to be keeping. “Oh yeah? Who talked about it?”

“Everyone,” Chris continues with a smile. “Carla, Bobby, Hen, Chimney, Maddie. They all knew.” He looks at Eddie, and Eddie thinks that his heart might burst. “They just wanted them to be happy.”

And now Buck’s dead, Eddie thinks bitterly.

Shannon claps her hands together after a moment, snapping Eddie out of his head before he falls too far in. “So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Eddie frowns at her and Shannon rolls her eyes, like anything about this situation is normal. “Meeting Buck for the first time? Any plans on how to make that go right?”

Eddie’s mouth drops open because, yeah, he’s gotta consider that. He’s meeting his team again for the first time except he knows them inside and out and they’ll meet him for the first time in less than sixteen hours.

It feels like a lifetime ago that he actually met them for the first time, that he walked into the station and met Bobby, shook his hand and was led to the locker room, commented on the glass walls and made sure Bobby knew he wasn’t self-conscious. That he changed and not a minute later, Bobby was introducing him to Hen and Chimney, Buck more than a few steps behind them because he hated Eddie when he first arrived. Eddie knows better now, that Buck was terrified of being replaced, of Eddie slipping into the 118 like a better version of Buck, one that wouldn’t make the dumb decisions Buck fought during his first few months.

All of that’s still waiting to happen.

“I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to change that. I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Eddie says even as his mind’s running a million miles an hour. It took a live grenade to bring them together the first time, but maybe – maybe Eddie can put them together before that. Maybe he can look at Buck and pretend to read his childish needling for something other than being a dick for no good reason. Maybe he can just come right out and tell Buck that he’s not there to replace him, that he’s looking forward to working together.

Shannon hums, but she and Chris are watching him with the same sharp-eyed expression when he looks at them. “So that story I heard about Buck hating you on sight wasn’t true then?”

“Oh no, definitely true,” Eddie says before he has a chance to reconsider. Chris looks surprised, his mouth dropping open a little, and it occurs to Eddie that while he might’ve told Shannon about the hilarity of what it took for him and Buck to become friends, he never told his son.

Who Buck has been co-parenting for the last few years dammit.

“Buck hated you?” Chris asks, sad and soft. “Why?”

Eddie takes a deep breath and leans over to meet Chris’s eyes. “Do you remember when Buck’s parents came to visit, and Buck was sad because his parents had lied to him?” Chris nods after a long moment. “It’s because Buck’s parents didn’t treat him very well growing up,” and Eddie cannot believe he’s telling his son all of these things, especially when he worked so hard to keep Chris from knowing them the first time they happened, “and Buck worries about being alone. When we first met, Buck thought he was going to lose Bobby and Athena and Hen and Chimney.”

Chris scrunches up his nose in that same look of confusion from that morning, and the look that Shannon shoots Eddie tells him that she knows it’s not a look he learned from either of them. “But Buck has them and he has us?”

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, smiling and shifting from the armchair to sit next to Chris on the couch. “Yeah, he does, buddy.” He presses a kiss into Chris’s hair, and the look he gets from Shannon when he picks his head back up tells him that in no uncertain terms that they’re going to discuss this further after Chris goes to bed. Thankfully, Eddie’s saved by the pizza delivery, which he’d completely forgotten about.

Dinner runs fairly smoothly as Christopher tells Shannon about all sorts of things that’ve happened in the past few years, omitting some of the biggest events, Eddie notices. It’s only when Christopher looks at Eddie at the end of one of the stories that Eddie realizes that oh, Chris is expecting Eddie to be the one to tell Shannon about those things. It’s a realization that stays with him until Eddie turns around and sees that it’s nine o’clock.

Bedtimes goes well, all things considered. Shannon slips back into the routine, and Eddie thinks that it’s more the exhaustion from everything that’s happened – the time travel, especially – kicking in that makes Chris go down without any fuss.

When Eddie finds himself in the kitchen and Shannon slips in behind him, resting a hand against the fridge, Eddie has another one of those mental picture overlaps of Buck doing the same thing. “So, Buck.”

It’s all Shannon says, all she really needs to say before Eddie hangs his head. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Shannon,” he says.

Shannon’s frown is audible. “Why? Because you did the same thing after his death that I did during mine?” She has one eyebrow raised at him when he looks at her. “Did you promise to tell him this time?”

“I promised to tell him, to make it right,” Eddie admits softly. “I didn’t know it would do this, send me back, send Chris back.” He brings a hand up to press the heel of his palm against his eyes. “God, he’s gonna be going into second grade when he’s in the middle of sixth.”

“Hey,” Shannon says, crossing the kitchen to rest a hand on his forearm. “It’ll be okay. He’s a smart kid, we’ll figure something out. Maybe we’ll see if we can get him to skip a grade in the fall or something.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh. “Sure, the kid with cerebral palsy’s gonna skip a grade, no questions asked.” He looks at Shannon, actually looks at her, and he can’t help the way his head tilts a little. “Why did you call me?” Shannon opens her mouth, but Eddie doesn’t let her form the words. “Because the last time we spoke, before – ” he makes himself say it “before your death, you asked me for a divorce.”

Shannon sighs, letting her hand drop and stepping back to put a little more space between them. “Because I was hoping to skip the whole ‘sleeping together before getting back together before asking for a divorce’ thing that we went through.” She crosses her arms over her chest, and Eddie recognizes it as one of Shannon’s defenses. “I gave up so much of my time with Chris, with you, that I didn’t wanna go through all of that again. So, when I realized I had a second chance…”

“You wanted to get as much time as possible before risking losing it all again,” Eddie finishes for her. It makes sense. It was why he’d answered her call in the first place.

Still. Shannon may be his wife, but Eddie’s heart belongs to Buck.

“Which brings me back to my point,” Shannon continues because she’s obviously followed Eddie’s train of thought. “What are you going to do differently tomorrow?”

Eddie sighs. “I can’t do anything about how Buck’s gonna react to me,” he says, “but I’m gonna see if I can speed up the process. Y’know, make it so that we work together earlier than pulling a live grenade out of a guy’s leg.”

“As long as you keep yourself from getting blown up,” Shannon agrees. She sighs again, looking at him. “What about us?”

It hangs between the two of them for a long moment, and Eddie considers it. He loves Shannon, has for a long time, but he’s had a lot of time to think between Shannon springing her not-pregnancy and request for divorce on him and now, being both before and after the event. “I think you’re right,” Eddie says carefully.

Shannon blinks at him, her eyes wide and eyebrows halfway up her forehead. “You mean – ”

“I think we should get a divorce,” Eddie tells her, making sure that he matches her words perfectly. He’s lived long enough with them branded into him that it feels right to say them back to her. “You can still come be Christopher’s mother, but us?” He laughs a little. “Especially with the way you’re pushing me towards Buck? A divorce is probably our best bet.”

Shannon – she actually laughs at him, her eyes wide with disbelief. “Wow. What happened to Mr. Broody and Repressive?”

Eddie wants to joke right back at her but there’s so much to tell. “You sure you wanna know?” he asks instead, attempting to keep it light by framing it as a joke despite the weight of it.

It either fails or Shannon’s learning from her mistakes because she reaches out to put a hand on Eddie’s forearm again. “Eddie, you just agreed that a divorce, which made you go nonverbal at the mere suggestion, is what’s best for us. Of course I want to know what brought this about.” Eddie runs his free hand down his face, perfectly aware of the tears pooling in his eyes. “Talk to me,” Shannon says softly.

“Where to begin,” Eddie laughs quietly. He stares at his feet, a horrible, horrible montage of the past three and a half years of his life flashing before his eyes. “You died. Buck got crushed under a ladder truck and nearly died.” Shannon takes her hand back to put both of them over her mouth. “He had a pulmonary embolism, almost died again. A tsunami swept through L.A., nearly killed Buck and Chris. He filed a stupid lawsuit, and I was so mad at you, at him, at not being able to help Chris, that I turned to street fighting. Bobby made me go to therapy when I almost killed a man.

“I got buried alive in well. Abby came back, Buck’s ex,” Eddie explains. “A global pandemic happened, and then y’know what else? I got shot again. In broad daylight in the middle of L.A.” He shakes his head. “The next Christmas, the one we just had – Chris was putting so much pressure on himself.” Eddie takes a deep breath, steels himself. “Because he thought it might be my last.”

Shannon wraps Eddie into a hug before he realizes that she’s moved, her arms firm around him, but she’s no replacement for the person he wants to be hugging right now. “That’s on me,” she says, mouth half-pressed against Eddie’s chest.

Eddie shakes his head. “It’s on me. And I thought – I thought that the solution was for me to leave, to find a different job, a safer job.”

“Did you at least ask him? Talk to Christopher about what he wanted?” Shannon shifts so that she can still press her cheek against Eddie’s chest but free up her mouth.

“I didn’t,” Eddie admits quietly. “And then two weeks later, Buck died in a warehouse fire and all I could think was that if I’d been there, I could’ve saved him.”

Shannon pulls herself away completely, holding Eddie’s face in her hands so that he has to look at her. “Hey, it’s okay. He’s alive right now, probably going to bed like an old man since the two of you have a shift in the morning. You’ll see him for yourself tomorrow, but you have to remember that you got sent back for a reason, Eddie.” She shakes him a little. “We promised to do better this time around. Now all we have to do is make it count.”

Eddie smiles shakily at her, determinedly ignoring the way his eyes have been getting wetter and wetter for the past five minutes. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” he asks her quietly, and he knows for a fact that he’s not the only one thinking of the brief period during their relationship that they actually worked, before his enlistment, before Christopher (as terrible as that is a thing to think).

Shannon just smiles at him. “All you did was be yourself. Do that and I’m pretty sure Buck’ll fall in love with you before you know it.” She pats him on the cheek gently. “Time for you to head to bed, old man. You’ve got a long day ahead of you.”

Eddie’s hand shoots up before he knows it, his fingers wrapping around Shannon’s wrist. “Stay here tonight. Not for sex,” he adds just in case Shannon thinks that he’s trying to get her to sleep with him after the past few hours. “I just – I missed you.” The admission doesn’t feel as terrible as it might’ve those months that followed Shannon’s death, during the tsunami and the lawsuit, when Eddie fought.

“Okay,” Shannon says after a long moment of just looking at him. “I’ll stay, but you have to promise not to try to cook. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to survive your cooking attempts.”

Eddie shoves her so hard she stumbles a little, and Shannon almost laughs loud enough to wake Christopher.

Waking up with someone else in his bed for the first time in months is strange for Eddie. What’s even weirder is the way that he falls back into it so easily, rolling over and opening his eyes slowly to see Shannon sitting up in bed, scrolling through something on her phone. “Good morning,” he says, warm and sleep-soft, before he realizes that yes, he does have places to be today.

Shannon smiles at him when his eyes go wide. “Morning, sleepyhead.” She ruffles his bedhead, probably making it worse. “Coffee’s being made and I ordered food in.” After checking her phone again, she adds, “I should probably get Christopher up.”

Eddie holds up a hand, eyes half-open. He counts down, enjoying the look of confusion on Shannon’s face. Five, four, three, two, and –

“Dad,” Christopher says on the other side of Eddie’s bedroom door. “Are you up yet?”

Shannon’s trying not to smile as Eddie sits himself up, not even bothering to hide how amused he is by Chris’s consistency. “I’m up, mijo. Mommy ordered breakfast, so it should be here soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Chris says. A pause, and then, “Can I come in?” Eddie’s hardly done more than start to say yes before his bedroom door swings open and Chris walks in, his arms out and already reaching for Eddie to pull him up into bed.

Eddie indulges him, settling his son down between himself and the mother of his child, pressing loud kisses to the top of Christopher’s head. “Good morning, Chris,” Shannon says, pressing her own kisses into Christopher’s hair. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Abuelita’s watching me while Daddy goes to work. She said we can watch this week’s episode of La jefa de campeón,” Christopher says, enunciating the Spanish as carefully as he can. He wrinkles his nose a moment later. “I don’t know how I’m going to not tell Abuelita all of the spoilers.”

Eddie ruffles Chris’s hair. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, buddy. And hey, even if you do let something slip, you can just tell Abuelita that you’re psychic and see if she believes you, alright?”

Christopher nods. “Okay, Dad, I’ll try. I’m not sure she’ll believe me though.”

Shannon smacks a kiss to Christopher’s cheek, and Eddie’s chest aches at the reminder that she was gone for so long – through her own choice and then by her death. “C’mon, baby, let’s go get ready. Your dad’s got a big day today.”

“He gets to meet Buck today!” Eddie knows the look that Shannon’s giving him – it’s the one that he’d see all the time on Bobby or Chim or Hen or even Maddie’s faces that told them exactly how much Buck meant to him and Christopher because Christopher only ever gets that smile when he’s talking about Buck. “Daddy, when do I get to meet Buck?”

“Soon, mijo,” Eddie promises with another kiss to Christopher’s head. “Go on, go tell Mommy what you wanna wear today so that she can pull it out. By the time you’re done, breakfast’ll probably be here.” He shoots Shannon a look to let him get dressed by himself and Shannon raises an eyebrow back, asking him if he seriously thought she wasn’t going to at least let him try before offering her help.

It’s a good morning, and it lets Eddie forget for a little bit the whole mess that his life’s become. It’s fine though because today is his first day as a probationary LAFD firefighter and yeah, Chris is right. Eddie’s really excited to meet Buck today.

Eddie walks into the 118 for the first time (in two weeks, technically, but the first time now) and, as cliché as it sounds, it kind of feels like coming home. He can see Chimney in the locker room getting dressed and Bobby across the bay, checking on the trucks. He can make out Tanika and Sam and Marvin all cleaning the trucks while Bobby’s observing, and it makes something in Eddie’s chest settle.

He’s looking around at the station like he’s never seen it before (technically he hasn’t) when Bobby spots him and walks over. “Eddie? I’m Captain Nash – Bobby,” he introduces himself with a hand already outstretched. “We spoke on the phone.”

Eddie shakes Bobby’s hand with a smile. “Of course, Captain Nash. I have to say it again, you made a very compelling argument about why to join the 118,” he says, dropping his hand back to the strap of his gear bag.

I may be a little biased, but we’ve got a good group of people here, Bobby had said over the phone. I think you’d be a good fit, especially with one of our best – Evan Buckley.

Eddie hadn’t been lying when Taylor Kelly had asked Eddie why he’d become a firefighter – he had missed the camaraderie of the army, so Bobby’s comment about Eddie fitting in with the rest of the team appealed to Eddie’s desire for that type of brotherhood. He just hadn’t been expecting Evan Buckley to be Buck and for Buck to be, frankly, everything.

“Well, I had a very compelling reason,” Bobby shoots back, open and friendly. “Here, why don’t I show you to the locker room? Let you get changed and then we’ll do a tour, get to meet some of the people you’ll be working with.”

Eddie nods and lets Bobby lead him further into the station, making small talk about traffic and Bobby mentions making breakfast if Eddie’s interested. (Of course Eddie’s interested. Bobby’s cooking is amazing.) They come to a stop outside of the locker room – now empty – and Eddie raises his eyebrow at Bobby in the same incredulous look he knows he wore the first time he saw it. “Glass walls?”

Bobby shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess the department thought it would be easier for people to be able to see out. Didn’t really take into account people being about to see inside.” He looks at Eddie, obviously looking for any signs of discomfort. “That gonna be a problem?”

Eddie shakes his head and then his stupid joke from his first first day comes back to him. “Guys in my squad used to call me Eight-Pack,” he says with a laugh and a shrug. “Close quarters like that, makes it hard to stay self-conscious.”

Bobby claps him on the shoulder with a wide smile. “I think you’ll fit in just fine. I’ll leave you to get changed and then we’ll do introductions and a tour once you’re ready.” He tells Eddie which locker is his (never mind that Eddie’s been sharing Buck’s locker for years now) and leaves Eddie to change into his uniform.

He’s putting on his t-shirt, pants already zipped up and buttoned (which Eddie’s gonna have to undo anyway to tuck in his shirt, he’s been doing this for four years and he still forgets sometimes), when he feels eyes on him from outside of the locker room.

It’s not – Eddie doesn’t want to sound a like a cliché and say that he can recognize the weight of Buck’s eyes on him from across the room, but Eddie can recognize the weight of Buck’s eyes on him from across the room. It had taken them a while to get there, but it’s easy for Eddie to know when Buck’s looking at him. And this is one of those situations where Eddie kind of wants Buck to look at him.

Eddie knows he looks good, he’s worked hard to keep his body in shape after leaving the Army, and firefighting had just made it easier. So, if he puts on a little more of a show when he’s putting on his t-shirt, well, he’s the only one that has to know.

“C’mon, I’ll introduce you,” Bobby’s voice filters into the locker room. “He likes to be called Eight Pack.” And Eddie rolls his eyes because that’s still stupid. Chim and Hen’s voices filter in too, but Eddie focuses on making himself a little more presentable, tucking in his t-shirt and bringing his uniform shirt up over his shoulders.

“Eddie, this is Hen,” Bobby says not a moment later, Eddie looking up from where he’d leaned his head forward to fix his collar. “Hen, Eddie.”

Hen’s already got a smile on her face and a hand out for him to shake by the time Eddie readies himself. “Hi,” she says.

“Nice to meet you.” He shakes her hand before turning to Chim.

“Chimney,” Chim introduces himself, snapping his gum. He waves off Eddie’s confused look with a smile. “It’s a long story that I probably shouldn’t bother you with until you’ve gotten a little more settled.” Chimney holds out his hand and Eddie’s quick to shake it. “So, I hear you accepted Bobby’s offer instead of Station Six.”

Eddie shrugs, although honestly, he can’t remember being too excited about Station Six’s offer in the first place. It had just been an assignment, and then he’d gotten Bobby’s phone call about the offer to join the 118 and the 118 had just seemed better. “Captain Nash made a very persuasive argument for me to join you guys instead of them,” Eddie says since Chim’s got an obvious desire to talk about this.

“Was it about his cooking skills? Cap could go professional if he ever wanted to,” Hen says, readjusting the strap on her shoulder.

“He did mention something about breakfast,” Eddie says, turning back to Bobby.

“I’d be more than happy to.” Bobby turns back to the wall with a slight frown, prompting Hen and Chim to do the same. “I’d like to get these introductions over with first, but someone’s being a little reluctant.”

Eddie looks past Hen and Chim to see Buck and oh. Eddie had forgotten how young Buck was when they met, how Buck wore so much of his youth as a cover, playing the dumb kid when he had gone through so much already. He doesn’t bother to try to bite back his instinctual grin at the mere sight of his best friend, despite the fact that Eddie isn’t supposed to have any idea of who Buck is, who any of them are besides Bobby.

And then it hits Eddie that this is the first time he’s seen Buck since the fire, since Eddie and Christopher watched their family pull Buck out of a burning warehouse, Buck too still between them. Eddie remembers the way Bobby’s voice shook slightly when he said – when he told Eddie –

Eddie’s staring at the love of his life for the first time since hearing Buck was dead and it’s hard for him to not run up to Buck and confirm for himself that Buck is alive, is healthy, probably has so much less trauma than he did the last time Eddie saw him.

Thankfully, Eddie’s world-tilting realization doesn’t seem to affect Hen and Chimney beyond the two of them realizing that he’s looking at someone outside of the locker room. “Buck, come say hi,” Bobby calls out the door, and only when Buck starts walking towards them does Eddie snap back to reality. He can deal with all of that later – maybe Eddie’ll see if he can get in touch with Frank sooner rather than later. “Eddie, this is Buck, one of our best firefighters.”

Eddie knows that Bobby’s watching Buck for his reaction, so he’s okay letting his smile slip back into place from where it’d shifted during Eddie’s mini crisis. “Nice to meet you, man. I’m Eddie.” He holds his hand out for Buck to shake and – yup, Buck squeezes his hand a touch too hard, trying to prove himself against Eddie.

“Buck,” is all Buck says with a brief nod, his face as close to neutral as he can get it, though Eddie can still see the discomfort practically radiating off of Buck.

“So I hear,” Eddie says, trying to telepathically communicate that all he wants is to be Buck’s friend and to support him in any way possible. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, already turning to put his gear into his locker. Bobby shrugs when Eddie turns to him, and Eddie makes sure that his sigh is internal in case someone asks him about it. So much for trying to extend the olive branch of friendship early.

Their first call comes up, the garage owner who impales himself on an air compressor nozzle, and Eddie decides that he’s not done reaching for Buck’s friendship yet.

“So, what’s this I hear about a charity calendar?” Eddie asks on the truck before Hen gets the chance to bring it up. Buck gives him a weird look, like he’s studying Eddie, but Eddie’s determinedly not looking at him, focusing on Chim and Hen.

Hen offers him a wide grin, one that Eddie knows is designed to poke fun at Buck. “The hot firefighter calendar,” she says. “Submissions are closing next week if you’re hoping to get picked.”

“Yeah, they only pick one firefighter from a house,” Chimney adds, snapping his gum.

Buck clears his throat, and Eddie’s eyes snap back to him like that’s where he was always meant to look. “So is your full name Edmundo?” he asks obnoxiously.

It’s – Eddie does a quick double take at him because living through all of this again has really refreshed his memories of his first day at the 118 and that’s definitely not the name Buck suggested the first time. “Good guess,” Eddie says instead of giving Buck the look that he knows means what the fuck. “Most people think it’s Eduardo.” It’s a little too reminiscent of Eddie’s first conversation with Ana, but that’s not Eddie’s primary concern right now.

As soon as it’s out of his mouth, Buck freezes a little, his eyes going a little wide with panic. “Oh, uh, I knew an Edmundo. In Peru,” Buck explains, and it’s stilted enough that Chim and Hen give him weird looks too. “Anybody ever call you Diaz?” Buck asks next, and Eddie’s shoulders lose some of their tension.

“Not if they want me to respond,” Eddie replies because this he remembers.

“Something’s gotta give. We got Cap, Hen, Chimney, Buck. We can’t just call you Eddie,” Buck continues with that angry little furrow between his eyebrows.

Eddie laughs because he’d forgotten what it was like when Buck was angry for no good reason at all, even if he knows that this is just Buck lashing out because of his own insecurities and pain at being left behind by Abby. “Is he serious?” he asks Hen, who just shakes her head at him.

“I like to operate under the assumption that nothing he says is serious,” Chim pipes up, snapping his gum.

Buck frowns and stares out the window, ignoring the rest of them until they arrive at the garage. Once they hop out of the truck, they all fall into place easily, Bobby taking point with the employee who’d called it in, handing out direction in a way that Eddie’s always admired.

It isn’t until Hector’s on the ground and Eddie’s failed to get the nasal cannula on that the story begins to shift a little.

“Buck, get the 14-gauge angiocath,” Bobby instructs, and Eddie watches as Buck grabs it out of the bag before Bobby even finishes talking. In a move that shocks all of them, Buck hands it out to Eddie, who takes it on instinct, going through the motions of prepping it before he even really realizes what he’s doing. By the time he’s ready, Buck’s taken care of the guy’s shirts, holding them open for Eddie to deflate Hector.

The needle’s just about to puncture the skin of Hector’s chest when Hen asks, “Shouldn’t you be aiming for the second intercostal?”

Eddie glances up at her briefly, opening his mouth to answer, but it’s Buck who responds. “Chest wall’s thinner at the fifth intercostal at the anterior auxiliary line,” he says, and Eddie can’t help but shoot Buck a weird look as he nods in agreement.

“There’s a decreased chance of injuring any vital organs,” Eddie explains. “I’ve treated guys with collapsed lungs in combat.”

Eddie’s still looking at Buck as everyone looks at him as well and based on what Eddie can see of their expressions, they’re just as confused by Buck handing the lead off to Eddie as he is, only Eddie’s doubly confused because he’s pretty sure that’s the explanation he gave Buck the first time they did this call.

“I read it somewhere.” Buck shrugs and looks pointedly back down at Hector, which means that they should really get back to saving the man’s life.

Eddie inserts the needle into Hector’s chest, and Hector deflates, all of them breathing in relief as soon as Hector’s taking the slow, deep breaths that Bobby’s instructing him on. Eddie’s grinning at Buck, pleased, as soon as he can take his eyes off of Hector, a small swell of victory in his chest. Maybe he’ll be able to get on Buck’s good side without the threat of a grenade hanging over their heads.

All of Eddie’s hopes fly out the window as they’re reloading the engine and Buck tacks a reluctant “Good call” on the end of everyone else’s congratulations. Eddie closes the compartment with a sigh, barely refraining from leaning his head against the truck.

It’s gonna be a long shift.

Twelve hours. Eddie’s first shift was twelve hours long and the entire time, Buck preened and postured and Eddie was constantly torn between wanting to smack him and wanting to kiss him. When Buck wasn’t trying to be top dog, he avoided Eddie to the best of his abilities which gave Eddie exactly zero chances to try to win Buck over.

Eddie’s really not looking forward to his next shift even though, if everything goes the way it’s supposed to, Eddie’ll have his best friend back by the end of it. Unfortunately, it’ll just also include pulling a live grenade out of a man’s leg.

All of that gets pushed aside as soon as Eddie picks up Christopher. He just spends the night focusing on his son and telling him all of the cool things that Eddie did today and how they differed from the first time around.

It goes fine, with the exception of one little thing. Christopher isn’t actually seven, and they’ve both gone through some terrible traumas. What this adds up to is, well.

Chris has a nightmare the night after Eddie’s first shift.

It’s a bad one, Eddie knows, based solely on the way that Chris clings to him as soon as he’s awake. Eddie’s running his fingers through Christopher’s hair and making soothing noises and rocking him gently back and forth, using every trick Eddie’s ever read or tried on Christopher.

“Chris,” Eddie says when his son stops crying, small, damp face pressed into the fabric of Eddie’s t-shirt. “Do you want me to quit again?”

Eddie hadn’t – talked to Chris about leaving the 118 before he made the decision, blew any and all chances of a good Christmas out of the water for them by announcing it to his team. He waited until they got home from the Christmas celebration at the motel to tell Chris and Chris. To say he had conflicting feelings about it would be putting it lightly.

Chris told Eddie that he was worried about him but that he also knew that Eddie’s job as a firefighter was important. He cried and apologized and cried some more while Eddie tried not to cry into Chris’s hair where his son was tucked against his chest.

All of this means just one thing: if Chris asks Eddie to quit again, Eddie’ll say yes in a heartbeat. It might actually break him to do it, but he’ll find something else, some other way to get Carla into their lives. To get Buck and to keep him.

When Chris shakes his head no, Eddie can’t help the relieved breath he lets out. “You’ll come back to me,” Chris says, mouth half-pressed against Eddie’s chest. “I didn’t want you to leave in the first place, I just-just wanted you to be safe.”

“You know I can’t promise you that, mijo,” Eddie says, pulling his face far enough out of Chris’s hair that he knows he’ll be heard clearly.

Chris nods. “I know,” he says, and he sounds so sad that Eddie just hugs Chris tighter. “I just want you to-to do your best to come home.”

“I always do my best to come home to you.”

“Not just to me.” Christopher clings to Eddie a little tighter. “To Abuelita and Tía Pepa and-and Mommy and Buck too,” he says, rubbing his face into Eddie’s chest. “They’re family too. And you always say that you do your best to come home to your family.”

Eddie presses his face back into Christopher’s hair. “I do, I will, I promise I’ll do my best to come home to you, to all of you.” He knows he should put Chris back to bed and go back to his own bed, but he wants to keep Chris close tonight, only two nights after hearing about Buck’s death and one night after being thrown into the past.

They go back to sleep in Eddie’s bed, Christopher passing out with a fist clenched in Eddie’s sleep shirt, and Eddie can’t bring himself to regret it at all. He’ll keep his job, come home to Chris, and he’ll figure out a way to get them Buck – ideally without risking any of their lives in the process.

“So, what’s Buck’s deal?” Eddie asks Chimney the next morning, sitting down next to him at the breakfast bar.

Chimney winces, checking over his shoulder that Buck’s not up in the loft before turning back to Eddie. “His girlfriend dumped him by leaving the country,” Chimney says with only a slight frown. “Poor guy still hasn’t accepted that he’s single again.” He shakes his head, turning back to his bowl of cereal. “He’s still living in her apartment too.”

Eddie turns so that he’s only half-facing Chimney, angled more towards the rest of the loft. “Don’t know what that has to do with me though,” Eddie says, purposefully dense. He knows that Buck’s insecure, that he doesn’t like Eddie being there because Eddie can do what Buck can do only better – at least as far as Buck knows.

“We talking about Buck’s measuring contest?” Hen asks, coming from around the corner by the pinball machine, aiming for the refrigerator.

“Eddie wants to know what Buck’s deal is,” Chimney says with an emphasis on “deal” that Eddie doesn’t like.

Hen hums and from the frown on Chimney’s face, that’s not the reaction he was expecting from her. “Chim, you know Buck. Why do you need my opinion on why Buck’s being a child?” Chimney opens his mouth, but Hen cuts him off, turning to Eddie. “He’s a good guy,” she says, and she doesn’t have to tell Eddie twice.

“I can tell he’s good at his job,” Eddie replies, and Hen’s eyebrows shoot up, so maybe that wasn’t the right thing for Eddie to say. “I just want him to understand that I want to be able to work together without him constantly comparing the two of us.”

Hen shrugs. “He’ll get there eventually. I promise you, Buck’s a big boy and he’ll get over this whole territorial, macho dick thing soon,” she says with a wave of her hand.

Eddie sighs. He knows that Buck’ll get over it, he’d just rather a live grenade wasn’t involved.

So Eddie spends the better part of the morning trying to do nice things for Buck – learning what chores are Buck’s and trying to take them off of his plate, double-checking Buck’s gear for any flaws or cleaning needed, asking around the station for people’s opinions on how to get into Buck’s good graces. All of his efforts turn out to be useless because every time Buck sees Eddie doing something, he just goes and one-ups him.

Which brings them to the gym. Buck’s already doing deadlifts by the time Eddie walks over in his joggers and a tank top that’s probably more of a muscle tee with how much he’s stretched it out over the years. Eddie tries not to, he really tries, but he gets stuck staring at Buck’s arms for a little too long, thinking about the memory of them solid under his hands and wondering what would happen if he just walked across the room and tried to fit his hand around Buck’s bicep.

He kicks the punching bag and it’s not two seconds later that Buck’s walking over to add more weight onto the bar, pausing once he’s slipped it on to take some selfies. Eddie’s no photographer, but he has one for a sister whose daughter is taking after her, if in a more amateur fashion.

“You’re in the wrong light, man,” Eddie shoots, stilling the punching bag with a fist lightly catching it.

Buck doesn’t even look at him. “Some of us don’t need lighting to look good,” he shoots back.

Eddie rolls his eyes and turns back to the punching bag when Chimney walks over to him, openly curious. “Hey, Eddie, what d’you mean by the wrong light?” And Eddie listened to way too many of Sophia’s rants during college to fail to educate Chimney, so Eddie explains.

“The light in this room is flat and blue,” he says, gesturing up to the cold light shining down on them. “Makes you look soft. If you want to look lean and muscles to pop, you need warm side light.” And never had Eddie been gladder to have been pestered by Sophia to let him be Camila’s male model for the day than when he’d heard about the charity calendar because that meant that the stupid firefighter photoshoot that Sophia had set up the week before Eddie started at the 118 came in handy. “I’ll show you. These are the ones I sent in for the calendar.” He pulls out his phone and opens up the pictures that Camila had sent him.

Chimney’s soft “whoa” is gratifying but it’s the light pink flush that dusts Buck’s cheeks that warms Eddie’s chest. “It’s, uh, kind of cheating, submitting pictures by a professional photographer,” Buck grumbles, walking away from where he’d come over to look over Eddie’s shoulder.

“The photographer’s twelve,” Eddie says with a proud if smug smile. To Chimney, he adds, “She’s my niece. She’s a master at the iPhone filters.”

For his part, Chimney looks like Eddie just told him that Buck’s been celibate for the past year. (Which, right now, it’s completely untrue. The timeframe’s a little off, but Buck has been effectively single for a few months at this point.) “Your niece did this?” Eddie confirms it with a nod and another smile. “Do you think she’d be willing to take my submission pics for me? I’ve been told I photograph like an Asian Fabio,” Chimney jokes, but Eddie knows he wins the 118’s submission for the calendar.

Eddie agrees because he’s absolutely certain that Camila would be thrilled with the chance for another photoshoot. (Sophia might also take the opportunity to drool over Chim, but that’s a sacrifice Eddie’s willing to make.) Chimney’s disbelief at Eddie’s easy agreement hurts a little, but it eases up when Eddie just confirms it again.

“You know you really shouldn’t get his hopes up like that,” Buck shoots from his spot over by the weights, and Eddie’s desire to punch him kicks in again. It’s not a serious desire, more like shakes some sense into Buck so that he knows he doesn’t have to lash out at people he loves in order to get some attention on himself. “No offense, Chim,” he tacks on when Eddie and Chim just look at him.

Chim gives Buck a dirty look that Eddie hasn’t seen in years. (He wasn’t there when Chimney punched Buck, but he’s got a good feeling that Chim gave Buck the same look that day.) “No offense taken, Evan,” Chim snaps, and Eddie lets him walk away.

Eddie loves Buck, he does, but he’d forgotten just how much of a little shit Buck had been those first couple of days. “What’s your problem, man?” he asks, tapping his phone against his gloved palm, walking to Buck.

“You,” Buck says after a long minute of looking up at Eddie. “You’re my problem. Your comfort level. You’re-you’re not supposed to just walk in here like you’ve been here for years,” Buck adds with a look that Eddie doesn’t know how to interpret. All Eddie does know is that this isn’t the same tone Buck used the first time he gave this speech. “It’s meant to be a getting-to-know-you period. You’re meant to respect your elders.”

“You’re not his elder, Buck,” Chimney chimes in, and Eddie knows he means well, but Chim’s really not helping the situation right now.

“Look,” Eddie starts because Buck’s looking at Chimney in a way that means that Buck’s well and truly upset. “I in no way meant to be too familiar or step on anybody’s toes.” It scrapes him raw to say it, but Eddie pushes on. “I know you’re going through some personal stuff right now.”

Buck’s head swings towards Chimney. “What personal stuff?”

“I know your girlfriend recently broke up with you,” Eddie says, and even though he knows he’s supposed to be talking about Abby, Eddie feels like he’s talking about Taylor and all of the stuff they just went through about Taylor’s parents, “and you’re coming to terms with that.”

And apparently Buck decides to throw the script of what’s supposed to happen next out of the window. “I’m not hung up on my ex-girlfriend,” Buck says, which what?

“Then why’re you still living in her apartment?” Chimney throws in from where he’s holding himself up in the air.

“She’s letting me stay until I find a new place,” Buck tells them, and Eddie’s still having difficulty processing the first part of Buck’s statement.

“Ex-girlfriend?” It’s only when Buck and Chimney turn to look at him that Eddie realizes he asked that out loud.

Buck nods instead of voicing whatever confusion is written across his face. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Eddie clears his throat because he wasn’t done yet but holy shit – this means – Buck’s single and Eddie’s single. (Technically. He and Shannon are working on the divorce thing. Shannon’s in the process of looking for lawyers for them.) “Either way, I hear you’re a good guy, but you don’t need to take your pain out on me or-or be threatened by me. We’re on the same team.”

And Buck scoffs a little, looking just a little less like a dick and more like he’s actually amused by Eddie. “Why would I be threatened by you?” he asks, and all Eddie can think of is Buck after he stopped street fighting, with one hand on his belt buckle, taking a step towards Eddie in Buck’s own kitchen. It feels like I can take you and wanna go for the title?

“Exactly,” Eddie says, and if he’s a little breathless, it’s nobody’s business but his own. “There’s no need to be. We do the same thing.” Eddie smirks a little. “I’ve just done it while people are shooting at me is all.”

And Eddie does not imagine the way that Buck pales a little at that, like Buck knows that Eddie’s been shot before, been shot in broad daylight in the middle of L.A. “Right,” Buck says instead of whatever frat boy, posturing quip Eddie was expecting next.

Buck turns back to his weights and Eddie turns back to the punching bag, catching Bobby watching them as he does. It’s – weird is one word for it. Off is probably a better one, like everything’s happening the same way it did the first time, just slightly to the left. Eddie shakes his head. He’s probably just remembering things wrong.

Charlie the schoolteacher – because of course that’s what Eddie remembers, the poor man’s name and profession – is rolled up to the ambulance and Eddie, well, Eddie was really hoping that it would be a practice round this time because pulling a live grenade out of the man’s leg was not easy the first time and he was really hoping to avoid it this time around.

It’s a live grenade. Buck’s shooting off his quips, trying to make Eddie feel small or insecure, and it’s just as easy as it was the first time for Eddie to head him off. Then Charlie pulls the new dressings off of his thigh and, well. Eddie remembers the sight of the gold cap embedded in flesh. It’s featured in enough of his nightmares that seeing it again gives him the same jolt of fear, that it’ll blow up in his face and take Buck with him. The only difference now is that it’s not some cocky little shit that’ll go down with him, it’s the love of his life.

“I thought you said this was a practice round,” Eddie tells Charlie, his hand a vice around Charlie’s wrist. Buck’s eyes are wide, Eddie knows, the man himself frozen where he’d been getting rid of the old dressings.

“It is,” Charlie says back, and Eddie forces himself to keep looking at the grenade and not at Buck.

“Practice rounds have blue caps,” Eddie says, the knowledge drilled into him, not even giving Buck the chance to wonder what the hell’s going on. “Gold caps are live.” He lets go of Charlie’s wrist, turns, and bangs on the ambulance’s roof. “Pull over!”

They pull over, call the bomb squad, everything Eddie remembers the first time around. Eddie’s standing with Bobby, Buck, and the bomb squad commander, staring at an x-ray of a live 40 mike-mike grenade in a seventh-grade history teacher’s leg. “He’s got a live round embedded in his thigh,” Bobby notes, and Eddie kinda wants to smack himself in the head for having to live through this not once, but twice.

“I thought this thing already went off,” Buck says to the bomb squad commander.

“The launch grenade has two components: gunpowder which makes it travel and an explosive charge that makes it go boom,” Eddie rattles off, the many, many lectures on grenades and guns coming back to him from a series of very boring weeks in boot camp.

Buck shoots Eddie a dirty look and all Eddie can think about is how grateful he’s gonna be to get his best friend back if they survive this a second time. “Okay, so why didn’t this one ‘go boom’?”

Eddie fights back a sigh because Buck’s being a little shit and it’s really starting to get on Eddie’s nerves because now, he knows for a fact that Buck’s better than this behavior. “It’s fitted with a proximity fuse.”

“A little smart sensor that tells the cap that it’s traveled a safe enough distance from the shooter to explode, yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard the speech,” Buck says with no small amount of bitterness and Eddie feels like he’s got whiplash from Buck’s emotional turnaround. Buck’s eyes go wide a moment later, like he understands that he’s blowing hot and cold at Eddie.

Bobby looks to Eddie for confirmation and Eddie nods, stunned. “From his hand to his leg probably wasn’t far enough,” Eddie says, watching Buck who now just looks kind of embarrassed, like he’s said something he shouldn’t have. “Did you read up on grenades as well as how to treat chest wounds?”

“Something like that,” Buck says. He’s very determinedly looking at Bobby and not at Eddie.

Bobby just kind of looks between the two of them for a second before shaking it off. “Well, we can’t bring him inside a hospital full of people, not with that still stuck inside of him.”

“We called the military for help,” the bomb squad commander says.

Buck blinks, shifting on his feet, and Eddie is just mentally preparing himself for another risky situation he’s about to put himself in, remembering his promise to Chris. “The military? Uh, can’t you do it? You’re the bomb squad,” Buck quips.

The bomb squad commander looks about two seconds away from just straight up walking away from Buck, but he humors him anyway. “You can’t diffuse a grenade. We need to find someone who knows how to pull that thing out of him without setting it off.” He looks at Bobby and continues with, “They’re sending someone up from Pendleton. Should be here within the hour.”

“He doesn’t have an hour,” Buck stresses. Eddie looks at him for the briefest of moments, and he’s pleased to note that he can still read Buck, read the energy all pent up in Buck’s body just waiting to be released on some daring rescue.

“I can do it,” Eddie says when he pulls his eyes away from Buck. “If he doesn’t go to surgery soon, he’ll die.” It’s an unfortunate fact that Eddie would rather they didn’t question.

“You’ve done this before?”

Eddie can’t blame Bobby for his skepticism. “Well, none of the guys I served with were dumb enough to shoot a live round in themselves,” Eddie throws out, and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t imagine Buck’s soft snort of amusement, “but I’m familiar with the ordinance.”

Buck doesn’t hesitate. “I’m in.”

Even though he knew it would happen, it sends something warm and familiar through Eddie’s chest, like the entire time Buck’s been posturing, he’s still had Eddie’s back.

After that it becomes a bit of a blur – getting them into bomb squad gear, listening to the bomb squad commander list off everything that could go wrong as if Eddie hasn’t witnessed the aftereffects of enough explosions already. Before he knows it, the commander’s handing Eddie the box to put the grenade in and Bobby’s hovering over Buck like the father-figure they all know he is.

"See you inside,” Eddie tells Buck, nodding at him before forcing himself to turn to the ambulance and wait just outside of it for Buck to enter first. He doesn’t know why he tells Buck he’ll see him inside if he’s gonna wait to go in, but Eddie does it because that’s what he did the first time.

Buck wanders over after a minute of quiet conversation with Bobby, throwing one last parting shot over his shoulder. “Besides, you wanted us to bond. We might end up real close,” Buck finishes, and Eddie swears that Buck winks at him as he walks up to the ambulance. Eddie hands Buck the box and they head inside.

Eddie distracts Charlie while Buck sets up the morphine, keeping him talking before the meds knock him out. As soon as Charlie’s out, Eddie says a silent prayer for this poor history teacher – preteens are the worst – and takes a deep breath.

“You’ve got this, man,” Buck says in the same calm tone he uses on patients. He’s putting pressure on Charlie’s leg, just enough to hold the leg still and the wound open, without Eddie even telling him to. Eddie’s heard that tone more times than he can count, and it never fails to make something inside of him settle. He picks up the claw and angles it just above the grenade, making sure he’s aiming for the right place before putting any pressure on it. “I thought the big bad soldier was the winner in the measuring contest,” Buck teases in a low tone, not quite loud enough to steal all of Eddie’s attention.

Eddie lowers the claw and gets a grip on the grenade, baring his teeth as he concentrates. “Buckley, I swear to God, if I drop this,” Eddie threatens, but there’s no heat behind it because Eddie’s genuinely too focused on keeping both of them from dying.

“Alright then, be careful and pull it out of his leg.” Buck’s making the same face Eddie is, eyes locked on the grenade. “C’mon, you’ve got this, Diaz. I’m sure you’ve seen worse things in the desert.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh. “Nothing like this, I’ll tell you that.” The grenade comes out of Charlie’s leg with a slow, wet sound and Buck and Eddie’s sighs of relief are near identical. Eddie slowly puts the grenade down into the box in Buck’s hand and he makes sure to lean it against one of the walls, He and Buck smile at each other, relieved as all hell, and then – Buck tilts the box, sending the grenade rolling from one end to the other.

When it doesn’t go off, Eddie shoots Buck a dark look. “You just had to lean the box.”

“Shut up,” Buck says, slowly putting the box down on the bench behind him. “Let’s get him out of here.” He pauses halfway through turning back to Eddie like he’s gonna say something else before shaking his head.

They get Charlie out of the ambulance with no complications, other than the metaphorically ticking time bomb (read: grenade) sitting on the bench while Buck and Eddie roll Charlie away from the very dangerous explosive. Eddie is more than happy to hand Charlie off to another set of paramedics who roll Charlie into the hospital, and Eddie’s adrenaline is going to take forever to go down after this.

He turns to Buck with a grin, pulling his gloves off of his hands, excited that they survived and that, in about thirty seconds, he’s about to win Buck over for life. “You’re badass under pressure, brother,” Eddie tells Buck, holding eye contact and smiling even bigger when Buck blushes.

“Me?” Buck ducks his head and Eddie knows it’s because he’s not used to receiving genuine compliments that have nothing to do with his appearance.

And Eddie looks at Buck, so incredibly young and so insecure about his place in the firehouse, and he remembers exactly why he decided Buck was worth it, was worth forty-eight hours of hell that consisted of peacocking and preening and dick-measuring contests. “Hell yeah. You can have my back any day,” Eddie says because it’s something he knows will be true.

Buck grins back at Eddie, clearly pleased and still with that damn bright blush on his face. “Or y’know, you-you could have mine.” It’s obvious that Buck’s trying to reapply the mask of his bravado but it’s shattered, and Eddie would rather shoot himself than let Buck be successful.

“Deal,” Eddie says. It’s simple – Eddie’ll watch out for Buck and Buck’ll watch out for Eddie. That’s why Eddie was sent back in time, and he’ll be damned if he gets it wrong twice.

They stand there smiling at each other for a moment before Bobby walks over to them, congratulating them. “Glad you both made it out of there,” Bobby says, nodding his head towards the ambulance.

Buck turns towards Bobby, but his eyes linger on Eddie. “Guy’s a professional, Cap.” Eddie knows he’s damn good at his job, but there’s something about listening to Buck say it that warms Eddie. “I was never really worried.”

Not two seconds later, the ambulance explodes behind them. Buck and Bobby duck on instinct, but Eddie makes himself stay upright, keeping his flinch contained to shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth. He’s sure to compose himself by the time Buck and Bobby turn back to him with similar looks of disbelief. “You guys hungry?” he asks them, and the smile that crosses Buck’s face is one that Eddie’s pretty sure he’s has memorized for years.

Bobby’s more than happy to let them walk off for food after a stressful situation like that, and he tells them as much, reminding them to give their gear back to the bomb squad before turning back to the engine. Eddie winces a little, watching him walk away. He does not envy Bobby that paperwork.

Bobby’s hardly taken a few steps before Buck turns back to Eddie, that same scrutinizing look on his face that Eddie’s been glimpsing since he saw Buck through the locker room walls. “You said that I could have your back any day,” Buck starts, and Eddie honestly has no idea where Buck’s going with this. They’ve already done that part of the script. This? This deviates from what happened the first time around. Again.

“What, you don’t believe me?”

Buck tilts his head, and Eddie watches his fingers twitch at his side. “I just – it feels too easy. I’ve been a dick to you since you walked into the station.”

Eddie shakes his head, you’re family and there’s nobody is the world that I trust with my son more than you heavy on his tongue. “I told you I wasn’t here to step on any toes, Buck.” Then, because he can’t help himself, he reaches up, puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder, and says, “I trust you.” There’s a million other things written in there, I love you not the least of them.

Buck lets out that same soft laugh that he had when Eddie complimented him. “Yeah, I, uh, I get that. Just feels like I haven’t done anything to earn it.”

Not for the first time, Eddie curses Buck’s parents. Buck’s never said as much, but it’s clear that that’s where he learned that he needed to do something in order to be given affection or attention. From what Eddie’s heard about life at the station before he got there, he doesn’t think that anything Bobby, Hen, or Chimney did exactly dissuaded Buck from that belief. It wasn’t until Eddie showed up and offered his affection freely (well, past the whole live grenade thing) that Buck even realized he could have that sort of thing.

And then Eddie had gone and shot that idea down by yelling at Buck in a grocery store in front of half of their station when Buck was trying to sue them to get them back and –

It doesn’t matter now. Eddie’s got a second chance and he’s gonna do it right this time.

He shakes himself back to the present, smiling at Buck. “I’ve got a good feeling about you, Buckley.” Eddie turns to walk away then, already undoing the straps on his borrowed gear. It’s all he’ll say for now, all he thinks he can get away with saying. Either way, it’s enough for Eddie.

“You’re gone already,” Shannon says the next day at lunch. The rest of Eddie’s second shift had gone smoothly and, now that Buck was done being a dick, he’d stuck to Eddie’s side like glue. Eddie’d already planned for this post-shift picnic so, though he’d kind of like to crash, he figured trying to keep some sort of sleep schedule was more important.

The three of them are having a picnic at the park, Eddie, Shannon, and Christopher, and Shannon’s pulling the story of Eddie’s first two shifts out of him in a way that she hadn’t been able to the first time Eddie told her about starting at the 118. It’s relaxing and the only thing that Eddie can think would make it better was if Buck was there with them.

“Completely head over heels,” Eddie agrees, watching Chris on the playground. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure it took me longer to fall in love with him the first time since I was starting from scratch.”

Shannon shrugs. “As long as you’re aware of it, I’m fine. Besides, I’m the one who said you should go for it, remember?” He looks away from Chris long enough to send her a smile, so incredibly relieved that they can be friends again after all of the pain and heartbreak they put themselves through the first time around.

“He’s just so easy to love,” Eddie says, and the admission doesn’t hurt for once. Buck had stepped into Eddie’s life so neatly, just filling in little cracks, and before Eddie knew it, he was bleeding out on the street in front of him, absurdly grateful that he was the one shot and not Buck. It was harder when Eddie started to realize that Buck might not be wholly his anymore, when Buck announced he was going to transfer because Chimney left. Hardest when he’d looked Buck in the eye and told him he was leaving the 118.

“Do you think you’ll tell him?” Shannon asks, turning her head to rest her chin on her shoulder. She doesn’t have to clarify that she means the future and the time travel mess they’ve found themselves in. “Assuming all is right with the world and the two of you end up madly in love, of course.”

And Eddie – Eddie hadn’t really thought about that. If he didn’t tell Buck, it would create a massive power imbalance in their relationship since Eddie already knows Buck inside and out. Buck would still be learning Eddie’s ticks and all the mess that’s inside of his head, and Eddie hated having to reveal that stuff the first time around. Would he want to go through it a second time?

“I think I have to,” Eddie says after a long pause. There’s always the chance that Buck wouldn’t believe him, but Buck’s always taken Eddie’s issues in stride. “Not immediately, but eventually, yeah. I’ll tell him.”

Shannon’s giving Eddie a look when he glances at her. “Don’t make me sic the universe on you, Eddie. You promised you’d do right by him this time around and I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“At least give me a chance to win the guy over before I scare him off,” Eddie shoots back with a grin. He just laughs when Shannon pushes his shoulder. “I promise I’ll tell him everything, I just wanna get settled in first. Remember, he doesn’t know me like I know him yet – it’s only been two shifts. There’s a lot that Buck didn’t tell me because he wanted to.” There’s a lot I didn’t tell him until I had to, Eddie doesn’t say.

The painful truth about Buck and Maddie’s brother is the first terrible thing about either of them that comes to mind, and Eddie really hopes he doesn’t have to watch Buck go through that a second time. But, given how long Maddie kept it a secret before it came out the first time, Eddie’s not really holding his breath.

“Okay,” Shannon says like she doesn’t believe him. “Although you should probably know that if you don’t tell him, there’s a good chance that Chris could let it slip.”

Eddie snorts. “Chris could tell Buck the ending to every Marvel movie that’s gonna come out in the next few years and Buck’d probably be thrilled.” Shannon rolls her eyes, and Eddie smiles at her. “I promise. Now stop making us have serious conversations when I can’t run away from you.”

Christopher’s laughter coming their way is the only thing that stops Shannon from sticking her tongue out at Eddie, and he smiles all the brighter for it.

Eddie’s next shift, he and Buck find themselves talking about nothing over a game of pool, not really playing to win but to fill the quiet lull between calls.

“What do you think they’re talking about over there?” Buck asks, nodding over to where Hen and Chim are sitting in the loft, Chim’s laptop sitting open on his lap.

Eddie looks over his shoulder at them. “Probably the calendar. Submissions close in a few days, don’t they?”

“Two days,” Buck agrees. He leans on his pool cue, openly staring over Eddie’s head while Eddie aims his cue. “Who do you think’ll win?”

Chimney, Eddie doesn’t say, but that’s because he knows. “Bobby,” Eddie says, just to watch the outraged expression that crosses Buck’s face. Then, because Eddie’s heard this part of the story, Bobby’s throwaway line, Eddie continues with, “They say that a man is at his sexiest when he reaches 50.”

Buck’s laugh is somewhere between outrage and disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Nobody says that about anybody. Except maybe Daniel Craig,” he adds as an afterthought.

It’s only been a handful of days, but he’s heard Chimney moan about Buck’s lack of pop culture knowledge before the year 1992 multiple times. “You’ve seen James Bond?” Eddie asks, and he feels like an idiot as soon as it leaves his mouth. The Daniel Craig Bond series started in the 2000’s.

Buck makes a what? face back at him. “Of course I’ve seen James Bond. I’ve even seen Star Wars,” he continues with a smug little grin.

“What does James Bond have to do with Star Wars?

Buck rolls his eyes, watching Eddie takes his shot, sending the cue ball straight towards the seven and then the seven into a pocket. Eddie winces while Buck pumps his fist in victory. “If you asked Chimney, he’d say that they’re required watching,” Buck explains while he lines up his shot for the two. “He was outraged when he heard I’d never seen Star Wars before and made me come over every day off for like two weeks so we could watch all of the movies.” He whistles after he takes the shot, neatly hitting the two and sending it towards the five. “I finally understood why my parents never wanted me to watch them.”

Eddie snorts, though the thought of Buck’s parents fires up something ugly in his gut. “What, aliens and space swords too much violence for them?”

“What? No.” Buck straightens up, meeting Eddie’s eyes with a confused frown. “I was talking about Leia and Han Solo – that would’ve been my sexual awakening if I’d gotten the chance to watch them when I was a teenager. And then young Obi-Wan and Padmé?” Buck whistles again with a smile.

Eddie does not trip over his own feet at the concept of Buck being attracted to men. He doesn’t, no matter what Buck says when he finishes laughing at Eddie where he’s caught himself on the edge of the pool table. “I preferred Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones,” he says instead, focusing on not hitting any of the solids this time and ignoring the way his face heats up.

The weirdest part about all of this, Eddie thinks, is that they’ve been friends for roughly four years and somehow neither of them have ever discussed the fact that they’re attracted to men and women.

It’s worth talking about it though because the look Buck’s face when Eddie looks up is something Eddie only sees whenever Eddie risks having a vulnerable conversation. “Yeah?” Buck asks in the way that Eddie recognizes as Buck being touched by the fact that Eddie’s being honest with him.

“Yeah. My ex-wife and I would sigh over him whenever we watched any of them.” Eddie’s not sure if it’s a smart idea to bring up Shannon so early in their friendship, but Eddie did say that he would do things differently this time around. (Never mind that Shannon’s not technically his ex-wife yet – they’ve hardly started going about making it official. Eddie had no idea how long it would take to actually get it in writing, especially in California.)

Luckily, Buck seems to take his mention of Shannon in stride, ignoring the game for long enough that Eddie’s pretty sure this has turned into a Serious™ conversation. “I never dated anyone long enough to get around to sighing over anybody with them,” Buck admits, “and by the time I did date someone long enough, it never seemed to come up.”

Eddie cocks his head at Buck. He hasn’t mentioned Abby since their argument in the gym which still strikes Eddie as odd. “Your ex-girlfriend with the fancy apartment?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. Honestly, I think I just forgot to mention it to her and then by the time I remembered, it didn’t matter because our relationship was over.” He turns back to the game, lining up his shot.

“That’s rough,” Eddie says, leaning his hip against the table. He lets his eyes drag along Buck’s shoulders a little, hoping that if Buck notices, maybe it’ll mean that they actually did flirt before Eddie got sent back in time.

Buck looks up, and he’s wearing the smug smirk he always wore when he noticed someone checking him out. “Could be worse,” he says with a shrug, holding Eddie’s eye while he makes the shot. It hits the cue ball perfectly, and the resulting ricochet sends the three into a pocket.

Eddie will never admit how incredible hot he finds it and he swallows. “So, any station gossip I should know?” he asks with the slightest edge of desperation. He loves Buck, wants him, but he refuses to be one of Buck’s one night stands.

Luckily, Buck lets him get away with the change in topic. Eddie’s so relieved that he doesn’t notice when Buck stares at his ass when it’s Eddie’s turn.

A week later, Buck’s talking to Eddie about nicknames again (“I was thinking G.I., for G.I. Joe, but it sounds too much like gastrointestinal.” Eddie cringes when Buck says it because it wasn’t good the first time around and it’s not good this time either) when Bobby announces who won the calendar contest.

“Or should I say, Mr. April!” Bobby calls to Chimney, who’s standing in the kitchen with a mouthful of celery and peanut butter.

They all walk over and congratulate Chim, Eddie going on about thirty days of Chimney and Buck turning Chimney’s hand red with an enthusiastic high-five, when Athena walks up the stairs into the loft. Eddie’s not supposed to know who she is yet, so he plays confused and refrains from teasing when she kisses Bobby in front of all of them.

Buck and Chimney pay Hen and then Buck’s dragging Eddie over to the couches and where Bobby and Athena are talking quietly to each other. “Hey, Athena,” Buck greets her, bouncing on his toes and sticking his hands in his pockets, like if he doesn’t he’s gonna drag her into a hug.

“You look cheery for someone who I hear just lost the hot firefighter contest,” Athena tells Buck with a smile, and Buck just shrugs good-naturedly. It’s only then that Athena turns to Eddie with a sharp eye. “You’re a new face around here,” she says, and Eddie almost trips in his haste to introduce himself to her.

“I’m Eddie. Diaz. It’s only my second week,” he says with a smile, holding his hand out to her. Athena shakes it with an amused look, glancing from Bobby before looking back at him. Eddie laughs a little, keeping his eyes on her even as he scratches at his beard absentmindedly, taking his hand back. “Uh, you know that ambulance the blew up last week?”

Athena’s eyebrows climb up her forehead. “I may have heard a thing or two. What about it?”

Eddie shrugs, sitting on the arm of the couch, Buck right beside him on the cushions. “I’m the one who pulled the grenade out of the guy’s leg?” He doesn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but it comes out like one anyway.

For a second, Eddie thinks that Athena might yell at him – she might’ve the first time, Eddie doesn’t quite remember – only for Athena let bark out a laugh, looking at him with an appraising eye. “Looks like Bobby picked a good one. Were you in the military?”

“Former army medic,” Eddie answers with the corner of his mouth turned up.

“Awarded a Silver Star for saving a convoy,” Buck chimes in. There’s so much pride evident in his voice that Eddie doesn’t even have to look to know that there’s a huge grin on Buck’s face.

Bobby looks between the two of them with an amused look that matches Athena’s. “Buck here’s had quite the change of opinion about Eddie since they met,” he says, nudging Athena’s shoulder. “You should’ve seen the way he was about five seconds from challenging Eddie to an arm-wrestling contest.”

Athena hums. “Our Buck, marking his territory?” Buck ducks his head with a bashful grin. “Well,” Athena continues, turning back to Eddie. “Welcome to the 118, Eddie. I look forward to working with you.” She gestures at Buck with a sly quirk to her mouth. “This one tell you what he did when we first met?”

“Athena, no,” Buck whines, and Eddie grins.

“As a matter of fact, he did not,” Eddie says, turning to look at Buck. It hadn’t really occurred to Eddie to ask how the hell Buck became Bobby and Athena’s pseudo-son – beyond the obvious point of Buck and Bobby seeing each other as respective son- and father-figures.

Bobby looks just as thrilled as Athena to relive this story. “We got a call out to an apartment building where a guy claimed he heard a baby crying in the pipes,” he starts, and Eddie’s jaw drops open. Sure, he pulled a grenade out of a man’s leg – twice now – but a baby in pipes? “We go, and there is indeed a baby in the pipes. It was hardly confirmed before Buck tries to take a sledgehammer to the wall.”

Buck stares up at the ceiling like something in the paint will keep him from dying of embarrassment. “I didn’t, and I ran pretty fast down those stairs if you remember.”

“Only after I stopped you and made you get the saw,” Bobby says. He looks at Athena, bumping their sides together. “Sergeant Grant here found the baby’s mother.”

Athena purses her lips. “Poor girl – teen mother, went straight back to her apartment with her father after giving birth. Unconscious on her bed when I found her,” she tells Eddie. “I got her down to the ambulance where Mr. Enthusiastic was cradling the baby girl like she was his own child. Had some words with me when I tried to put young Mom in there with him.”

Eddie looks at Buck, who’s now a shade of pink that Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen his best friend turn before. “This is my own personal hell,” Buck says faintly, and Eddie can’t help the soft laugh he lets out.

“Redeemed himself a couple of days later when he stopped a home intruder from getting away on a motorcycle. Helped save a little girl’s life too,” Athena continues, obviously proud.

Eddie’s ready to keep ribbing Buck about all of the shit he got up to as Buck 1.0, but Buck’s face drops fast and loses almost all of its color at once. “You forgave me after the rollercoaster,” Buck says after a moment, and Eddie doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that something terrible happened at whatever rollercoaster incident Buck’s referring to.

He puts his hand on Buck’s arm, looking to Bobby and Athena for answers. They look just as grim as Buck does, all of their good humor drained from their faces. “There was a rollercoaster car that got stuck upside down on a loop,” Bobby explains, Athena pursing her lips together as she looks at Buck. “Five people were stuck in it. The sixth had flown out when the safety bar broke.”

Athena crosses to Buck’s other side, rubbing a hand on Buck’s back. “Buck here went up to go rescue the other five, all mighty and daring,” she says affectionately but gently. “One of them – the friend of the guy who’d gone flying – was hanging onto the safety bar, dangling hundreds of feet above the ground.”

Eddie almost doesn’t need any of them to say what happened next, but he wants to hear it. After all, Buck’s never told him this story. “All he had to do was reach out,” Buck says softly.

“He let go,” Eddie says so that Buck doesn’t have to. It’s not something that Eddie’s never seen before, either in Afghanistan or in L.A. Sometimes, people just give up instead of fighting for their lives. Judging by the looks on Bobby and Athena’s faces, it’s something they’re familiar with too. “Was he your first?”

Buck nods. The four of them stand there in silence for a long moment, both honoring this dead man and letting Buck compose himself. He sucks in a breath when Hen comes bouncing over, fifty dollars richer.

Eddie squeezes Buck’s arm, making Buck meet his eyes for a second. “I got your back, remember?” Buck nods and the smile that he pasted on when Hen made an appearance looks a little more real.

It doesn’t make Eddie want to wrap Buck in a warm blanket and tell him that he’s loved any less.

Eddie had forgotten what it was like the first couple of months, just learning how to be a part of the 118’s well-oiled machine, how to fill the spaces that the team didn’t know needed filling. He gives Hen a run for her money with video games and talks movies with Chimney and lets Bobby despair over his lack of cooking ability and Buck –

Eddie relearns Buck’s coffee order and his nervous ticks, how to tell when Buck’s having a good day and a bad day, whether Buck’s talked to Abby or not. (And that had been one of the hardest things to remember that, at this point, Buck is still Abby’s, emotionally if not physically.) (Listen, Eddie knows what Buck said that day in the gym about not being hung up on Abby still, but anyone with eyes can see that Buck’s obviously hung up on someone.)

It’s hard, not being able to reference something that he hasn’t discussed with someone yet or not being able to ask Buck over for movies and pizza with Chris whenever he can tell that Buck’s down about something. Instead, Eddie tries to pick him up in other ways – a new cup of coffee, saving him a plate at mealtimes, letting him sleep an extra five minutes, small things.

Eddie’s trying, he’s adapting, he’s learning – hell, he’s gotten together with Frank and had a few sessions already. The only new factor to all of this is juggling his divorce from Shannon with pretending he doesn’t know his entire team already.

“I didn’t think a divorce would be so much paperwork,” Eddie complains one night, Christopher playing a video game in the living room while he and Shannon sit at the dining room table, currently littered with legal documents.

“Honestly, I don’t think I did either.” Shannon frowns, reading the page in her hand. “You own Blu-ray copies of all of the James Bond movies?”

“Movie marathon with Buck,” Eddie says absently. “I know he’s seen the Daniel Craig ones, thinks he’s hot, but I don’t know if he’s seen any of the ones made before 2006.”

He hears more than sees Shannon put the paper down. “Buck thinks Daniel Craig is hot?”

Eddie glances at her with a frown. “Yeah? Same way we think Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones is hot.”

Shannon sighs, slouching in her chair. “I just hadn’t realized Buck was attracted to men. You have no idea how much relief that just gave me,” she says with a laugh.

Eddie’s only quiet for a second before – “Wait, did you think that I changed the entire course of my life for a straight man?” It’s kind of hilarious, but at the same time, Eddie understands where Shannon’s coming from. He hadn’t actually had any confirmation that Buck liked men until they’d had that conversation over a game of pool.

Shannon gives Eddie a Look. “You would,” she accuses, and as much as Eddie’d like to refute that statement, she’s right.

“Technically, I did,” Eddie says, and Shannon gasps before laughing at him, her entire face lighting up. “I didn’t know he was attracted to men either! Not until we got sent back, anyway.”

Shannon, the traitor, keeps laughing at him, unreserved and open. “And here I was, thinking you were too repressed to do something as stupid as fall in love with a straight man. Who, admittedly, is not straight,” she adds when Eddie shoots her a look. She sighs after a second, smiling at Eddie. “I really am glad that the two of you found each other, Eddie. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot together and it’s good that you could lean on each other in hard times.”

Eddie winces, the lawsuit and his decision to leave the 118 popping up in his mind. “We aren’t necessarily the best at talking to each other,” he admits, and Shannon just rolls her eyes.

“That’s because you both just want to fix things on your own without asking for help. Besides, Chris said that you and Buck built him a skateboard.” Shannon raises her eyebrows at him – not the judgmental eyebrows that say Eddie shouldn’t have built their son a skateboard but rather that Eddie talked to Buck about it and Buck found a solution.

Eddie sighs, leaning back into his own chair. “Have I mentioned today how much I love him?” he asks, more to the room at large than at Shannon.

Shannon reaches across to pat Eddie’s hand. “Only with your face,” she teases, and Eddie blushes anyway because he doesn’t understand how it took him so long to figure out that he was in love with Buck. “C’mon,” she says when Eddie realizes he’s been staring into space thinking about Buck. “Let’s power through this and then maybe we can order in Chinese for dinner.” She lowers her voice slightly. “We can get Chris wontons.”

Eddie holds up his hand, counting down. Five, four, three, two – “Did you say wontons?” Christopher asks from the living room, his voice slightly raised to carry into the next room, video game paused in the background.

Shannon and Eddie laugh but they do promise Chris his wontons, just as soon as they finish going through this set of paperwork, to which Chris replies that he would like them to hurry up please so that he can get his wontons. “He’s grown up,” Shannon says fondly, picking up her paperwork again.

“He gets his sass from Buck,” Eddie says, and he doesn’t even bother trying to tamp down his shit-eating smile when Shannon looks at him.

“Just Buck, huh?” Shannon teases right back, and Eddie sticks his tongue out at her, picking up his own pile of paperwork again. They’ve got personal property to get through and then they can veg out on the couch for the rest of the night. Not for the first time, Eddie really wishes Buck were with them.

The day of the earthquake, Eddie has a very hard time letting Christopher go to school. “Are you sure you wanna do this, buddy?” Eddie asks, kneeling in front of his son. They’re on the sidewalk in front of the school, but that doesn’t mean that Eddie won’t turn around and take Christopher home as soon as he says the word.

Christopher nods. “I get to meet Buck today,” he says quietly. And that – Eddie doesn’t know how he’d forgotten that.

Eddie’s truck had refused to start, and he’d been getting more and more aggravated, and Buck had just stepped up. He hadn’t even waited for Eddie to say anything before offering to drive Eddie to get Christopher.

“Okay,” Eddie says after a deep breath. “You have stuff to keep you busy after school?” Christopher nods, rolling his eyes like the ten-year-old he actually is. “Just checking,” Eddie says, holding up his hands with a smile. “Don’t want you getting bored while you wait for me to come and get you.”

“I got it, Dad,” Christopher says, and Eddie ruffles his son’s hair just to remind him that while he may mentally be ten, he’s still gotta pretend like he’s still seven.

He kisses the top of Christopher’s head before standing back up. “Alright, kid. I’ll see you tonight. Stay safe.”

“You too,” Christopher says, leaning against his father while Eddie hugs him. “Tell Buck I’ll see him later.”

Eddie laughs. “If I can fit it in a conversation without it being obvious, I will, mijo.” He waves Christopher away, watching his kid walk into a building that Eddie has to trust will keep him safe when a 7.1 earthquake rocks the city in a couple of hours.

It’s the last time Eddie sees Christopher for a while, and he savors every second of it.

Eddie doesn’t know the exact second that the earthquake hit the first time because he’d been under a truck at the time and then checking the time that the largest earthquake in ten years hit SoCal seemed like information Eddie didn’t really need to pay attention to while he worried about his son’s safety.

He still doesn’t know the exact second the earthquake hits because, the second time around, he’s still under a truck.

It’s only a little different in that the entire time he’s under it, checking for damage and leaks, he’s tense, waiting for the ground to start shaking him to the bones. Eddie’s not the only one either – he’s seen Buck practically pacing the station the entire morning before Bobby sent him off to go do something in the locker room. It isn’t hard to tell that Buck’s energy was making the rest of them restless too.

At the first rumble, Eddie rolls himself out, refusing to be caught off-guard a second time, scrambling to his feet. Others around him are doing the same, waiting for the second shake before they start to leave the station in earnest, too professional to show their panic. Eddie knows they’re panicking though because he’s feeling it himself, a knot of anxiety tight in his chest – something he’s all too familiar with.

There’s a brief moment where Eddie wonders if he’ll have a panic attack here and now, faint with the overwhelming sensation of it, but he gathers himself and follows the rest of his coworkers out of the building. He breathes a little easier when he sees Hen and Chim out ahead of him, easier still when he sees Buck and Bobby stumble out as the last people inside. Eddie allows himself to rush over to Buck, to confirm for himself that Buck is unharmed, and is pleasantly surprised when Buck gives him the same sort of treatment, asking five different times if Eddie’s hurt.

When the earthquake stops, Bobby ushers them all back inside, and Eddie slips into his professionalism, despite the minor tingling in his fingertips that Christopher is at school and not safe at home. Shannon’s at work, far enough from the chaos that is central L.A. that Eddie’s not too worried about her safety.

“There’s a high rise,” Bobby says, and Eddie belatedly thinks ah. He completely forgot about spending the better part of his day in a collapsing high rise, watching a man fall to his death when the window glass shatters with a series of very strong aftershocks.

Well, Eddie supposes there are better things to come out of reliving the last almost four years of his life over again.

He’s distracted the entire drive to the high rise, trying to call the school even though he knows perfectly well that he won’t be able to reach them. It doesn’t stop him from trying though, which Eddie supposes gives him points in the parenting game. They’re most of the way there when Buck finally breaks their silence, having been watching Eddie for most of the drive. “Is everything okay?”

Eddie looks up at Buck, his phone clutched tight in his hand while Buck watches him with those worried eyes. “Yeah. There’s no service,” he says, waving his phone. “Texts won’t even go through.”

Buck frowns, that little furrow forming between his eyebrows that Eddie always wants to smooth away with his thumb every time he sees it. “Who’re you trying to get ahold of?” There’s an edge to it that Eddie doesn’t catch until later, like he’s a little afraid of what Eddie’s answer might be.

Our son, Eddie almost says. “My son,” he answers with none of the hesitation he had the first time around because he knows that Buck loves Chris and that Chris loves Buck.

Sure enough, just like last time, Buck’s face lights up. “You got a kid?” Eddie’s vaguely aware of Bobby turning around in his seat to try to look at the two of them while Eddie pulls up a picture of Christopher on his phone.

“Christopher.” Eddie holds his phone out to Buck, showing Christopher off to his best friend. “He’s seven.” Physically, Eddie thinks, mentally, he’s ten sent back into his seven-year-old body.

“And super adorable,” Buck says, handing Eddie his phone back with a small if bright smile like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to be this attached already. “I-I love kids.”

Doesn’t Eddie know that all too well, memories of kids on calls clinging to Buck like Buck’s sometimes childish habits don’t attract children like flies. “I love this one,” Eddie says, looking down at the picture of Christopher. He knows Chris is okay, it’s just hard to accept when he can’t check for himself. “His mom’s not really in the picture,” he adds after a moment, realizing that this is when he lets Buck know that he’s not been lying to him because Eddie’s not sure if he ever actually clarified that to Buck.

“Your ex-wife?” Buck asks.

Eddie looks up, two seconds away from asking how Buck knows about Shannon until he remembers their Conversation over the game of pool. “Yeah,” he confirms with a small wince. “It’s not – she was gone for a while and when she came back, we decided that a divorce would be best for us. I’m getting full custody though.”

Buck nods as he processes that information, and Eddie imagines he can actually see the thoughts flying through Buck’s head. Former Army, divorced with a kid? It’s like Eddie’s being redefined in Buck’s head. What comes out of Buck’s mouth surprises Eddie though, just like Buck’s been managing to do for the past few months.

“That’s rough, buddy,” Buck quotes, and Eddie can’t stop the grin that takes over his face, some of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders because Buck’s still joking with him like L.A. isn’t in chaos or like he’s not completely surprised by the fact that Eddie has a kid. Buck grins right back at him, bumping their knees together.

It keeps Eddie grounded enough that he pulls himself back together by the time they arrive at the high rise.

No small amount of fear swoops through Eddie’s stomach as he looks up at the high-rise, remembering waiting for the entire thing to come crashing down around his ears. They follow Bobby to the incident commander, and Eddie tries not to be offended that Chim tells Hen that she doesn’t have to go in because she’s got a kid. Bobby and Buck both eye Eddie at that, but Eddie ignores them, wondering if it would be too suspicious if he walked around to the other side where the man – sexual harassment, if Eddie’s remembering correctly, same hotel room as Ali – is pressed against the glass.

“You guys should come see this,” a police officer says, coming up behind them, and Eddie’s saved from pretending he’s a psychic.

After that, it’s like watching Best Of clips. Eddie and Buck volunteer to go up, set up the ladder, and Buck tries to reassure Eddie that Chris is in the safest place possible while he breaks open a window so they can climb six flights of a collapsing building to get to the room directly over the sidewalk. It’s a hard climb, and Eddie’s kind of relieved for the way it leaves him and Buck equally breathless. Only kind of because it means that Buck can’t distract Eddie with facts and figures and Eddie’s having to reassure himself by the fact that Christopher survived the earthquake at that school once, he can do it again.

Unfortunately, when they reach their destination, not enough has changed. The man still falls, and Ali’s knot still slips, leaving Eddie to almost throw himself out of the window to catch her. Buck pulls both of them back in on Eddie’s rope, and Eddie refuses to think about how that leaves him more than a little hot under the collar once he’s got both feet back under him.

Buck doesn’t flirt with Ali, Eddie notices. He keeps it strictly professional and friendly towards her and Eddie’s thrown off a little because there’s a reason Buck ended up going out with her and part of it was because he’d shown an interest in her during the rescue. But there’s none of that this time around.

It’s weird enough that it sticks with Eddie for the rest of the day. As soon as they’re done for the day and Eddie’s called Christopher’s school to confirm that 1) yes, Christopher’s okay and 2) he’ll be there as soon as possible to come get him, Eddie resolves to ask Buck about it.

And then they find out that Bobby and Chimney have disobeyed direct orders to get to Hen in the pancaked parking garage, and Eddie gets a little sidetracked.

“I gotta say,” Eddie says after, when Hen’s alive and Chimney’s doing her concussion test himself, “I’m a little surprised you didn’t flirt with Ali.” He’s not sure what drives him to say it but he’s heard the stories of Buck 1.0 – had been there for early Buck 2.0, who flirted with any and all pretty girls who crossed his path.

Buck shrugs but he avoids Eddie’s eyes. “She wasn’t my type.” Eddie’s already opening his mouth to respond when –

“They weren’t my type,” Eddie says with a shrug.

Buck bumps their shoulders together with a stupid smile. “Not mine either, not anymore.”

– That’s not Buck’s line.

“Really?” There’s something like hope burning itself into Eddie’s chest and it’s drying out his throat but that doesn’t make any sense. It’s Eddie and Christopher and Shannon who’ve been sent back to the beginning, not Buck. Buck only met Eddie a couple of months ago and they haven’t even had that conversation yet.

“Really.” Buck rolls his eyes, finally looking at Eddie properly. “Shut up, you weren’t even here for Buck 1.0,” he says when all Eddie does is keep looking at him.

“I’ve heard Chim rib you enough for the stolen ladder truck that I think I’m allowed the shot,” Eddie teases right back, falling into the rhythm that they’ve established. He shakes his head, allowing himself to fall into step with Buck as they walk back towards the engine. “You gonna see if she’s okay?”

“Just came from her cot,” Buck says, glancing at Eddie with a furrow between his eyebrows. “She asked for my number, and I told her we could be friends.” He frowns, turning a little more to look at Eddie properly. “Why’re you pushing this?”

Eddie shrugs, trying his best to keep this casual. “Everyone’s always getting on you about being single and why you aren’t out there looking for someone else.” He pauses for a moment before adding, “Besides, I heard you met Abby on a call. Stands to reason you could meet someone else on a call too.”

Never mind that the three girls Eddie’s seen and/or known about Buck dating seriously had all been people Buck had met on calls. Then again, given how little of a social life Buck had outside of the 118, Eddie wasn’t really surprised. (They didn’t need to talk about Veronica. Eddie had heard enough about Buck’s disastrous date turned disastrous neighbor situation to last him a lifetime.)

Buck’s studying Eddie intently, like just looking at Eddie will give Buck answers to the questions he’s not asking out loud. “I’d say I wasn’t looking, but that’d be a lie,” Buck says after a moment, slowly, like he’s trying to gauge Eddie’s reaction as the words fall out of his mouth. “There’s actually someone I wanna ask out, but I don’t know if I’ve got a shot.”

Listen, it’s not like Eddie didn’t already know that Buck’s hung up on someone who’s apparently not Abby. It just hurts Eddie more than a little bit to think that it’s not Eddie because it’s someone Buck’s been deliberately not talking about since Eddie started at the 118.

So Eddie sucks it up and puts on his best friend pants and grins at Buck. “You, not have a shot?” He shakes his head. “Whoever it is you’ve got your heart set on, buddy, must be insane to say no to you.”

The smile Eddie gets in return is enough to make reliving this day entirely worth it. “Yeah?” Buck asks, and he sound so much like when Eddie first complimented him, an ambulance behind them thirty seconds away from blowing up. “You think so?”

Eddie grins, bumping their shoulders together, realizing suddenly that they’ve stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. “Absolutely.” He turns and sees Bobby watching the two of them, a look on his face that Eddie’s not sure he wants to think too hard about. “C’mon, Bobby’s waiting for us so we can get out of here.”

Buck’s got an extra bounce in his step as they head towards Bobby, still wearing that bright smile. “You ready to head home to that cute kid of yours, Diaz?”

He’s your kid too, Eddie thinks but very carefully doesn’t say. “More than ready,” he agrees. Bobby can watch them all he wants with that speculative look – Eddie won’t ruin this for either of them, not until he’s certain. Certain about what, Eddie couldn’t say, but he thinks he’ll know it when he sees it.

Eddie’s truck refuses to start. “It’s either the battery or the starter or the alternator or – ”

“Eddie,” Buck cuts him off. Eddie shuts his mouth with a snap, turning from where he’s been frustratedly sitting in the driver’s seat of his truck to find Buck looking at him with a small amused smile. “C’mon, I’ll take you. You’ll just have to tell me where I’m going.” He walks away, crossing to the driver’s side door of his Jeep, and Eddie –

This might be the moment that Eddie fell in love with Buck the first time, Eddie thinks. It’s so blindingly simple, just Buck offering Eddie a ride to go get Christopher from school at the end of a terrible day, but Eddie thinks he was gone even then.

Now, with the knowledge that Eddie has, it still means everything. “You don’t have to,” Eddie tries to protest, but he’s closing the truck and locking it up, following Buck anyway.

“Eddie,” Buck says patiently, staring at him through the open passenger’s side window. “Let me take you to your kid.” Eddie opens his mouth to argue, and Buck continues with, “You’ve been worrying about him all day and your truck won’t start.”

Eddie climbs into Buck’s Jeep, shutting the passenger side door behind him. “Thank you, Buck,” he says with as much sincerity as he can because Buck might think this is nothing, but Eddie is so stupidly grateful for him right now.

Buck waits til Eddie’s buckled, hand on his key, before he speaks again. “It’s okay to ask for help sometimes.” He turns the Jeep on, and the rumble of the engine starts up before Eddie can think of anything to say.

Sometimes Eddie forgets how much he loves Buck, and it just slaps him in the face when Buck does things like that. At this very moment, it means that Eddie wants to drag Buck across the Jeep’s center console and kiss him senseless. However, Christopher has been waiting very patiently at school for the better part of the day, and Eddie reminds himself of that.

Not to say that Chris wouldn’t mind waiting a little longer because he thought his dad finally admitted his feelings for Buck, but Eddie thinks that the poor teacher who’s been waiting with Chris might mind.

They don’t talk on the way to Christopher’s school, aside from Eddie giving a direction here and there. Eddie’s too busy thinking about Chris and Buck and the fact that Buck seems to be able to read him easier this time around. Buck doesn’t push Eddie to make small talk, just focuses on driving and when that isn’t enough, bounces his head along to whatever’s playing on the radio.

When Buck rolls to a stop outside of Chris’s school, and his son is perfectly visible through the glass front doors, Eddie doesn’t wait for Buck to put the Jeep into park before he’s unbuckled and practically throwing himself out of the passenger seat, rushing up the steps to get into the school. He picks Chris up and spins him around, thankful that he’s safe and to the teacher that waited with him the entire time.

Once Eddie’s thanked the teacher about a million times and Chris has gotten his stuff, Eddie leads Chris out to the Jeep, Chris practically vibrating with excitement next to him. “Don’t scare him off,” Eddie warns, and Chris gives him a Look that he learned from Shannon.

“I don’t think anything I do could scare Buck off, Dad,” Chris shoots back, and Eddie just laughs, opening the Jeep’s rear passenger side door. “I’m Christopher,” his son says as soon as he’s climbing up into the Jeep, ignoring Eddie in favor of skipping to the fun part of knowing Buck. “My dad says you work with him.”

“I do work with him,” Buck tells Christopher after sending Eddie an amused look. “My name’s Buck. Your dad says that you don’t usually like strangers.”

Chris shoots Eddie another look while Eddie focuses on getting Christopher settled in the backseat without a carseat. (He really should’ve grabbed his from the truck but he got distracted.) “My dad’s told me a lot of stories about you, so you don’t seem like a stranger to me,” Chris declares, and Eddie hides his wide smile at Christopher’s half-truth. He has to admit, his kid is pretty smart.

“Oh yeah?” Buck shoots Eddie another amused look. “What kinds of stories?”

Christopher smiles brightly at Buck, Eddie not bothering to squash the warmth in his chest as he confirms that Chris is settled and buckled, closing the door. “Is it true that you responded to a call where someone cemented a microwave to their friend’s head?” Chris asks, adopting his most innocent voice.

Eddie has to climb into the passenger seat before he falls over laughing at the indignant look on Buck’s face. “Chris,” Eddie says when he manages to pull himself together, shooting Chris a look that’s supposed to be stern but Eddie thinks might just be fond.

“You wouldn’t tell me about the interesting stories from your first day!” Chris says back, and Eddie just shakes his head.

“Sorry, Buck,” Eddie says, though he and Christopher are grinning. “I told him to be nice but this is apparently what he goes with.”

Buck shakes his head after a long moment of just staring between Chris and Eddie. “It’s alright,” he says eventually. “I’m happy to talk about it as long as I’m allowed to.” Eddie nods and Buck puts the car into drive as Eddie buckles. “So, these two guys run a YouTube prank channel,” Buck starts, and Eddie shakes his head, settling in.

It feels damn good to have his family back together again.

It’s a week after the earthquake when Eddie has his first nightmare at the station.

Since he started at the 118 (the second time around), he’s been avoiding sleeping in the bunks when other people are trying to get some shuteye too since he knows that he’s not necessarily the quietest when he has his nightmares. In an effort to avoid waking everyone else up when he inevitably has one, Eddie’s taken to staying up in the loft, knocking out on the couches up there if need be. Bobby’s noticed but he seems to be trying to come up with a way to approach Eddie about it.

Eddie appreciates Bobby, is eternally grateful for the advice Bobby gives, whether he agrees with it at the time or not, but this Bobby doesn’t know him yet, and Eddie’s not entirely comfortable baring his soul to him yet. Maybe in a couple more months, when Bobby’s gotten to know Eddie better, Eddie’ll feel better about Bobby trying to approach him about his PTSD.

It’s not like it’s been a particularly hard day or the anniversary of one of the many traumatic events Eddie’s had to live through (the anniversary of the tsunami isn’t for another week at least), which means that Eddie’s not even expecting to have a rough night. Yet there he is, gasping awake in a cold sweat on the couch across from the tv, the phantom burn of the sniper’s bullet tearing through his shoulder in downtown L.A. fading as he claws his way to consciousness.

Eddie sits there pulling himself together for a few minutes before he drops his head into his hands, breathing heavily but at least he isn’t gasping anymore.

“You good?” Buck’s voice sounds from the kitchen, the question casual but his tone anything but.

It still makes Eddie jump a little, twisting around to find Buck watching him with a water bottle in each hand. “Yeah,” he says, shoulders sagging at the sight of his best friend. “I just – nightmare.” He doesn’t know if it makes any sense to Buck, but Eddie doesn’t really want to go into detail.

Thankfully, Buck doesn’t ask, just walks over to sit next to Eddie, so close that their arms bump together as Buck falls onto the couch. He holds one of the water bottles out to Eddie. “Anything I can do to help?”

And it takes Eddie right back to when he was recovering from being shot, Buck living on his couch. Whenever he’d wake up from a nightmare, Buck would come running and distract him until he could go back to sleep (which was rare) or until it was time to get Christopher up for the day.

Eddie’s nightmares had lost most of their frequency and intensity by the time he came back to work, which means that he never had to navigate how to distract himself when they could be called out at any moment. “Wanna watch whatever’s on at this hour?” Eddie asks, nodding at the tv, picking at the label on his water bottle.

Judging by the look on Buck’s face when Eddie risks a glance, he’s just glad that Eddie didn’t send him away. “Yeah. You pick. Seems like you’re having a rough night,” Buck says, and his expression asks if Eddie’s okay even if his words don’t.

Eddie shrugs, constantly surprised by the lack of phantom pull in his right shoulder. “It happens sometimes.” Buck’s still looking at him and Eddie realizes he’s not gonna let this go. It shouldn’t surprise Eddie as much as it does – there’s a reason Buck was still living with Eddie when Eddie was recovering and most of it was because Buck is a stubborn son of a bitch when he wants to be. “It was about when I got shot,” is what Eddie says because he can’t exactly follow up with in downtown L.A. in broad daylight since that hasn’t happened yet, won’t happen for another three years at least.

“In Afghanistan?” Buck asks like – like there was anywhere else Eddie would’ve been shot. Eddie doesn’t want to lie to Buck, so he doesn’t say anything. “Do you get them often?”

“Here and there,” Eddie says. He should really take this opportunity to explain what exactly happened in Afghanistan to Buck so that it doesn’t come tumbling out after Eddie gets buried under forty feet of dirt, but Eddie doesn’t want to talk about it tonight. Instead, he leans forward to grab the tv remote off of the coffee table, knocking their knees together. “I wonder if there’s a late-night showing of James Bond,” Eddie says, neatly taking a hard right in conversational topics.

Buck lets him get away with it though, gently knocking his left shoulder against Eddie’s right. “I’ve got your back,” he says quietly, and it makes Eddie smile.

“I know you do,” Eddie says back. He lets the two of them soak in the silence for a few long moments before he turns on the tv, left on whatever terrible daytime talk channel Chimney had left it on.

Five minutes later, Buck’s passed out, leaning his head against the back of the couch, leg firmly pressed against Eddie’s. It’s more reassuring than anything Eddie thinks Buck could say. Eddie settles in with Goldfinger, turning the volume down low to let Buck sleep.

When their shift starts with a security guard stuck between the walls of two buildings, Eddie just thinks, here we go, another day in L.A. What he doesn’t realize is that this day is actually pretty significant. He goes through the motions, helps the guy get unstuck, listen to Bobby argue with the lady about drilling a hole into the wall and then quip about the poor guy’s gut saving him, and generally just accept that L.A. will be L.A.

It isn’t until they pull up to a terribly Western-themed bar – complete with a mechanical bull – that it even occurs to Eddie that significant things are about to happen.

Eddie’s getting hit on by drunk women – beautiful women, Eddie can admit, but in no way attractive to him – and it’s even funnier this time because the only wet dreams he’s been having for the past few months involve the tall blond firefighter who’s also getting hit on by drunk women.

They get the poor woman out of the truck’s tailpipe – “Condolences on Betty,” Hen shoots at the truck’s owner – and Eddie falls into step next to Buck. “Is Christopher the real reason you don’t date?” Buck asks, and Eddie’s memory has been getting remarkably better, living through these events again, because Eddie remembers why he didn’t tell Buck the whole truth the first time.

Buck didn’t know about Shannon, about Eddie’s failed marriage and his wife running halfway across the country to get away from him, and he certainly didn’t know about Eddie getting shot and the whole mess that filled up his head because of it. “He’s part of it,” Eddie answers, thinking of Ana Flores. “It’s hard when you’re a single parent since you do have to take your kid into account.”

Their sides bump together again and Eddie’s phone rings. It’s only when he pulls it out to answer that it occurs to him what day it is. “Hello?” Eddie answers and the voice on the other end confirms Eddie’s suspicions.

Bobby’s just as nice about letting Eddie and Buck go to the hospital as he was the first time around. They don’t get Chimney and Hen to drive them there in the ambulance, but it’s a close thing as Eddie worries that this time it wasn’t just his Abuela’s hip but something else, she caught Christopher on her way down, he hit his head –

But no, Christopher is charming nurses when Pepa gestures to him after she tells him about Abuela’s broken hip, turning to Buck once Eddie knows that Christopher’s alright. “And who is this?” she asks with raised eyebrows and a knowing glint in her eye.

“This is Buck,” Eddie says like Christopher has talked about pretty much anyone else since the earthquake. “We work together.”

“And I thought you just dressed alike,” Pepa quips back. Eddie makes quick work of the introductions between the two of them. Once the niceties are done, Pepa’s quick to question him about what he plans to do about Christopher for the rest of the day. “You don’t have to go back to work?” she asks.

Eddie winces because Shannon’s out of town for a work thing this week – she comes back tomorrow – otherwise Eddie would ask her to watch Christopher for the rest of the day. Pepa’s still got work, Abuela’s out of commission, and Eddie doesn’t have Carla yet. He tries not to think about it while he goes and gathers Christopher.

His son’s making his goodbyes to the nurses and Pepa when Eddie finds himself alone with Buck, watching Chris. “What about Christopher’s mom, your ex-wife?” Buck asks like he’s been reading Eddie’s thoughts. “Would she be able to take him?”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, Shannon’s out of town for work.” He runs his hand down his face, thinking. He knows what’ll happen, but it doesn’t stop the sharp spike of anxiety that something could change, that Chris wouldn’t be welcome at the station.

“Bring him to the station with us,” Buck says like Eddie isn’t agonizing over that exact choice. “It’ll be fine, I’ll make sure of it.”

As much as Eddie’d love to argue, he really doesn’t have any other options here. “If Bobby yells at me, I’m telling him you told me to bring him,” Eddie says, and Buck grins at Eddie’s obvious answer of yes.

Getting back to the station is less fuss than Eddie remembered it being, and before he knows it, Chimney’s telling dumb stories with the flair that Eddie knows makes him a great dad, making Chris laugh so hard he’s doubled-over where he’s sitting on the couch in the station’s loft.

“What’s this?” Bobby asks, walking up to the group of them. “I don’t remember asking the chief for reinforcements. You any good with a hose, kid?”

“I can try,” Christopher answers with a wide smile, and as much as Eddie loves Chris for being able to joke about that after the skateboard incident, it doesn’t stop the spike of dread in Eddie’s chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where to bring him,” Eddie starts, and Bobby cuts him off, saying that Buck told him and he’d already gotten the chief’s approval. Buck’s nod of “I’ve got your back” is just as reassuring this time around as it was the last time.

What follows are some of the best hours that Eddie thinks he’s had since being sent back to the past.

Christopher is loving the station, the same way he loves it every time he gets the chance to visit. He rides in the truck, he gets the full tour, Chimney helps him play pinball, Bobby makes him a grilled cheese sandwich – Eddie doesn’t think Chris has had a chance to just let loose since they came back in August, and it makes Eddie really happy to see Chris enjoying himself.

The last thing they do is help Chris down the fire pole, Eddie and Buck catching while Hen and Chimney help him down from the upper level. When Chris has got both feet back on the ground, Eddie looks up and catches Buck’s eye, both of them smiling and laughing with Chris.

It takes all of Eddie’s willpower not to kiss him then and there. Luckily, Pepa arrives to take Chris home which snaps Eddie out of it. He helps Chris over, grabbing Chris’s crutches and handing them off to Pepa. Before he follows them out, though, he turns and hugs Bobby, catching Buck’s eye again.

It should be weird but all Eddie can think about it when he and Buck are closer, when Eddie’ll get the chance to thank Buck properly for being by his side through all of this. Eddie lets go of Bobby and follows Pepa and Chris out of the station.

(If Pepa gives Eddie that knowing look again as soon as he’s outside, nobody needs to know.)

(Chris already knows, and judging by the look on Pepa’s face, she knows that Chris knows.)

Shannon comes home the next day, and Eddie tells her about Abuela’s broken hip and taking Christopher to the station. It’s like reliving the stress all over again, even if Eddie knows everything’s going to turn out fine. He’s going to meet Carla and hire her to help take care of Chris and Eddie will do his best not to kiss Buck before he knows if Buck’s into him or not.

“I’d forgotten what you looked like when you told me Buck was the one who got you Carla,” Shannon says that night after Christopher’s already gone to bed.

Eddie shoots her a really? look from where he’s loading up the dishwasher. “What I looked like?”

Shannon shrugs, a sly smile on her face. “If I hadn’t known any better at the time, I would’ve said love-struck,” she says over her glass of wine.

If they’d had this conversation the first time around, Eddie’s sure he would’ve denied it. This time, Eddie just lets himself smile at the memory. “He’s so good,” he says, and Shannon hums, still smiling at him. “Aren’t you tired of hearing me go on and on about Buck?” It’s practically all Eddie and Christopher talk about these days and Eddie can’t imagine Shannon actually wants to hear him go on about what Buck did that day and how much they love him.

“It’s nice, actually, knowing that you still had someone after I was gone.” Shannon puts down her wine glass carefully, watching Eddie. “I just remember dying in that ambulance and being so sorry that I was leaving you alone again. Now, of course, I know that I never really had anything to worry about. You were taken care of.” Eddie’s still floundering for a response when Shannon changes the topic. “You and Christopher are going to spend tomorrow with your abuela, right?”

Eddie shakes his head, trying to follow Shannon’s train of thought. “Uh, yeah. It’s my day off. I would’ve asked any of the team if they wanted to come with, but they’ve all got shifts tomorrow – I’m the odd man out.”

Shannon nods. “I’ve got something I need to take care of, but I can come meet you guys there after lunch?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Eddie agrees, wondering what the hell just happened.

When Buck had called Eddie about helping Maddie move out of his apartment, he’s not expecting Buck to give him the loft’s address instead of Abby’s apartment. It’s not the first thing that Buck’s said or done that Eddie remembers going differently, but it’s maybe one of the most significant things.

But Eddie goes and he meets Carla and he tries not to stare at Buck like it’s obvious about how in love with this man he is. It’s only when Carla’s left that Eddie actually broaches the subject of Buck not actually being in Abby’s apartment. “I thought you were still living with your invisible ex-girlfriend,” Eddie tries to tease, but it’s just a hair away from being right.

Buck gives him that look again, the one that Eddie’s been seeing since he started at the 118. “Nah, I moved out of Abby’s place just after the earthquake,” he says, but Eddie can tell that there’s something else going on.

Eddie nods because there’s really nothing else he can say on the subject that won’t reveal his hand so he turns back to the topic of Carla. “You didn’t have to call her,” he says instead. “She’s amazing and exactly what I needed to make sense of all of the paperwork.”

“I thought she might be,” Buck agrees with a wide smile. “She was Abby’s mom’s nurse so I thought she might be able to help you out with the paperwork and stuff.” Eddie hums and Buck breaks the weird stalemate they’ve found themselves in by turning to go into the kitchen. “Beer?”

Eddie agrees because there’s something going on here and he thinks it’s gonna come to a head tonight. He follows Buck into the kitchen instead of staying next to the stairs, leaning against the countertop next to Buck’s sink like he has a million times before, except he’s never been here before tonight.

Buck hands him a beer, and Eddie pops off the cap and throws it into the recycling bin in the cabinet under the sink without thinking twice about it. “Alright, how did you know where my recycling was?” Buck asks, putting his unopened beer down on the island.

Eddie freezes, bottle centimeters away from his mouth. “It seems like an obvious place to keep it,” he says, bringing the bottle down to sit next to him on the counter, but it’s a weak explanation and they both know it.

“Really?” Buck crosses his arms. “You’ve never been here and you immediately know where my recycling bin is? Or-or how about earlier, when Carla asked about a pen, and you came over here and grabbed one out of a drawer like you knew exactly where they’d be?” Buck shakes his head a little. “You avoided the squeaky spot by the door and you know where I keep my pens and you know where my recycling bin is.”

There’s an easy explanation as to why Eddie knows where everything is, but it’s ridiculous and Eddie doesn’t think that Buck would believe him. Eddie’s had the inkling that Buck knows more than he lets on sometimes, but he isn’t going to break whatever’s building between the two of them on the off chance that he’s right. “I keep pens in my kitchen drawers,” Eddie tries, and Buck just shakes his head again, looking determined.

“You know where things are and I need you to tell me why.” And Eddie just looks at him and he thinks about it and –

And Buck’s not living in Abby’s apartment. He guessed Eddie’s name right on his first day, Is your full name Eduardo replaced by Edmundo, was completely unsurprised to learn that Eddie had a small child the day of the earthquake, had been only mildly surprised to learn that Eddie was parenting him with his ex-wife.

Eddie’s not the only one who’s been keeping secrets which puts them in an interesting situation.

There’s probably a hundred things that Eddie could say to test his theory, not the least of which just coming out and saying the truth, that he woke up in August three and a half years in the past. But. Buck needs proof. It’s something that Buck’s always relied on. Words can only do so much, and they’re always more effective when backed properly.

So Eddie crosses the kitchen, puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb barely brushing Buck’s collarbone, and says, “There’s nobody in the world I trust with my son more than you.” He barely pauses before he barrels on with, “No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.”

And maybe it’s too much, maybe Buck doesn’t remember, maybe Eddie’s getting this all wrong and shooting their friendship in the foot, getting it wrong before he has a chance to get it right, because Buck just stares at him for several heartbeats.

Then, “You forgave me on Halloween.” Buck’s eyes are wet and there’s a flush developing high in his cheeks that Eddie recognizes from the few times Buck’s cried in front of him. “I watched you get shot. You left,” Buck says, his voice cracking, and that’s when Eddie hauls him in for a hug.

Buck might be taller than him, but it’s easy to shift his hand to the back of Buck’s head and nudge him into burying his face into Eddie’s neck, Eddie letting him cry because he has no idea how long Buck’s been sitting on this. He’s feeling a little misty-eyed himself if he’s being honest because this? This was the stuff of Eddie’s wildest dreams, a hope that he crushed with ruthlessness, nowhere even in the realm of possibility.

Or maybe it was, and Eddie was just doing that thing where he was denying what was in front of him because it was too good to be true. Either way, they’re here now.

They stand there long enough, holding each other, that their beers are closer to room temperature than cold when they finally pull apart. “Eddie?” Buck asks, rubbing at his eyes.

“I’m here, Buck,” Eddie says, an automatic reaction developed during the months of Eddie’s recovery from the sniper.

Buck laughs wetly, pulling back to look at Eddie. “Do you really remember?”

Eddie nods. “Do you?” Buck nods back, and it feels like a weight has just dropped off of Eddie’s shoulders. “Oh, thank God,” Eddie says, hauling Buck back down so that he can kiss him.

It’s such a relief to not have to worry about keeping the future to himself that Eddie forgets a few things, namely that Eddie hasn’t actually told Buck that he’s in love with him before he went and kissed him out of the blue. The realization shocks Eddie into letting go of Buck completely – but Buck stays, kisses Eddie back like this was what he was waiting for too.

Buck’s got one hand fisted in Eddie’s t-shirt by the time they manage to separate, looking a little dazed when Eddie manages to focus on his face. “I meant to ask first,” Eddie says which, while true, is not what he meant to say.

“I’m honestly okay with that,” Buck says, sounding as dazed as he feels. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do that?” Eddie shakes his head and Buck makes a noise in the back of his throat. “Years, Eddie.”

Eddie kisses Buck again because, really, what can he say to that? “Buck,” Eddie says, going back to his initial train of thought, lost long ago. “How long have you remembered?”

Buck rubs his thumb against Eddie’s side, just under his shirt. “Mm, since just before you started?” He sighs, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s. “I remember working a warehouse fire and sweeping for people inside, the fire…” He shakes his head.

“Chris and I were watching the news coverage,” Eddie says when Buck doesn’t keep talking. It’s obvious that Buck’s got another trauma to add to his pile that he really doesn’t want to talk about. Then, because Eddie can’t believe the way his luck is turning out, says, “I’m not the only one who remembers.”

Buck pulls back far enough to look at Eddie properly, frowning at him. “We’re not the only ones?” Eddie shakes his head, curious to see if Buck’s gonna guess who. Buck bobs his head from side to side, thinking. “Shannon?”

“Yes, but not who I was talking about.”

Buck bounces his head a couple of more times before he stops with a gasp. “You’re kidding,” he says, and Eddie just grins at him.

Eddie hasn’t stopped smiling since he found out that Buck remembers, that they can actually have each other without whatever weird imbalance only one of them remembering would bring. “Chris!” he calls as he climbs out of his truck, walking up the path to Pepa’s front door.

It swings open after a moment, Pepa shifting to the side so that Christopher can step out. “Dad!”

Eddie waits until Chris walks down the steps to kneel down in front of him, absurdly happy. “I have a surprise for you, mijo,” Eddie tells his son in a low voice.

“A surprise?” Christopher giggles, turning to look at Pepa before swinging his head back around to Eddie. “What kind of surprise?”

Eddie turns towards his truck, and he doesn’t have to look to know that Christopher’s done the same because the gasp of joy his son lets out when he sees Buck has been the same the entire time they’ve known Buck. “Hey, buddy,” Buck says, walking up the path to join them.

“Buck! You’re here!” Christopher walks around his father to hug Buck, leaning against him in a way that Christopher had originally perfected in the months between the earthquake and their first Christmas in L.A.

Eddie stands up, exchanging smiles with Buck. “Y’know what’s even better?” He nudges Chris’s shoulder. “You should ask him about Back to the Future.”

Christopher frowns, shooting Eddie a weird look. “But Buck’s never seen Back to the Future,” he says slowly.

“I have, actually, all three of them. I’ve also seen Moana and Spider-Man and that space movie that you said was gonna be good but your dad said was just okay,” Buck says, and Eddie glances at where Pepa’s watching them from her doorway. Buck kneels down before he adds in a quieter voice, “I’ve even seen the newest Toy Story, the one where Woody leaves Bonnie to be with Bo Peep.”

Christopher frowns again, scrunching up his nose to make that face that Eddie knows his son learned from Buck. “But that hasn’t come out yet.” No sooner have the words left Christopher’s mouth does Christopher realize the implication. “You remember!” He throws his arms around Buck, completely ignoring the way he swings his crutches around with the movement.

Eddie tries to grab them before they hit Buck’s back, and he manages to grab just one. Buck grabs the other, his free hand wrapping around Christopher and picking him up. “Course I remember,” Buck says with a grin.

The look on Christopher’s face is one of complete awe as he looks at Buck, smiling the same way Eddie knows he’s been doing since he found out. “Wait til Mom finds out,” he says, and Buck winces a little.

“Yeah, about that,” he starts, turning to Eddie. “She kind of already knows?”

Eddie blinks at him, thinking about it, before Shannon’s cryptic errand she needed to run pops up in his head. “She came by the station yesterday,” Eddie says, and Buck’s shoulders drop in relief, the smile that lights up Buck’s face mirroring it. “She said something about an errand she needed to run before meeting me and Chris at the hospital yesterday.”

“Turned out that errand was cornering me to see if I got sent back in time too,” Buck says with a shrug. “I should probably warn you that Maddie got sent back too.”

Eddie hasn’t seen Maddie at all since they all got sent back in August, so he’s not surprised to find out that he had no idea she got sent back too. “And here I was thinking that the three of us were special,” Eddie teases. He turns back to Pepa, who’s watching the three of them with a smug look from her porch. “I think Pepa’s trying to imply that we aren’t leaving without dinner first.”

Buck follows Eddie’s line of sight before nodding. “Oh definitely.” He turns to grin at Eddie, Christopher still in his arms. “You ready?”

And Eddie just looks at Buck holding Christopher, stupidly in love and grateful that the universe happened to listen to him this once. “Yeah, I think I am,” Eddie says, and thankfully, Buck doesn’t need any more than that before he starts to walk towards Pepa’s door, where she already has her arms out open for a hug.

Eddie left the 118 and he thought it would kill him. Turns out, the universe just wanted him to stay there with Buck. He doesn’t mind having to live through all of those terrible, traumatic things over again (okay, maybe he does), but Eddie thinks it’ll be better the second time around because he’s got Buck, better than he had him the first time, and Eddie’s refusing to give him up this time.

The best part is that he won’t have to.