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If Nico has to describe his encounters with family, he would use the phrase ‘not for me.’
It wasn’t because he was scared of commitment or children, it was more of Nico’s experience with them. He considers himself to be… less fortunate with them. Hell, Bianca died. His mother died. Hades is trying, sure, but after leaving him in the Lotus Casino for years? Maybe a bit too late. Persephone is okay. But Nico didn’t know if he could even count Hades and Persephone as his family. They weren’t the ones who took care of him and looked after him. They weren’t the ones who held him tight when he was down or made him soup when he was sick. No, they’re just step-parents at best.
The son of Hades looked up at the sunny camp sky. Is it always this sunny? he asked himself. He headed towards his cabin. Nico took one look at his pictures of Bianca. He missed her so much. He missed her smiles and playfulness. He missed her laughter as she tagged him back. He wanted to see her a few more times. But, hey, he made a promise didn’t he?
Nico jumped onto his bed in the dark cabin and looked up. He can’t sleep — not that he needed to. The nights like this reminded him of the times in the Lotus Casino. The loud noises from the games, the loss of time. He didn’t like it there. He didn’t like it here. Why doesn’t he fit in like anyone else?
“Nico?” a familiar voice called.
“What do you want, Will?” he groaned.
“Checking it up on you. Are you okay?”
“Physically, yeah. Tired, maybe.”
“Emotionally?”
“Not here. Somewhere, but not here.”
“Ah,” the son of Apollo walked in. He sat by Nico’s bed. “You want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking… Will, why does everyone I love leave me? Bianca, she… she… left me for the hunters and then died. My mother, and even Percy. It’s like everything I touch and cherish corrupts and then destroyed. I’m… tired Will. I always am. I just want to be loved,” the child of Hades vented. Will went silent.
“I’ll never leave you,” the blonde whispered. Nico blushed slightly and smiled to himself. “I would love to be here with you, Neeks, but the patients don’t heal themselves, you know?” And with that, the son of Hades was left alone. Again.
He decided to take a walk and saw a young woman he didn’t recognise by the campfire. Nico sat silently beside her. “Son of Hades, how are you doing?” she asked softly.
“Okay, I guess.”
“Nico Di Angelo, is it not?”
“Uh… yeah,” he looked at her warily. Not a lot of strangers know his complete name. Who is this lady?
“I hope you are doing fine, dear. Your father needs to learn how to do some parenting more.”
“My fa… Respectfully, are you one of the gods?” Nico asked curiously, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
“Hestia.”
Oh. “What are you doing here?”
“I like tending to the Hearth,” she smiled softly, looking at the fire in front of her. “They are the symbol of family. It warms my heart to tend the Hearth in places like here. I can feel that a lot of the children in camp has this unique familial bond.”
“Yeah,” the boy answered simply.
“How about you?”
“Well um… I feel it too, I guess.” Nico shifted uncomfortably by her side. The goddess looked at him with sympathy.
“Young one, you can tell me if you want.”
“I break everything I touch,” he said. “It’s like I can never be with someone or else I’ll just ruin it, ruin them . It hurts when you see everyone leave you. It hurts . It’s like I’m broken or something.”
“My dear.” Hestia’s hazel eyes twinkled with care. “You are not broken. It’s not your fault and never will be. Please do not blame yourself for this.”
Nico doesn’t understand why, but her reassurance made him feel better. It was a different type of response, wise and caring. Loving and gentle. Her words flowed through his mind and his tears started swelling up. The goddess looked back at the Hearth as the boy thought about what she said.
The tears in his eyes fell, one by one, and Nico found himself moving closer to the warm being. It felt so strange yet so familiar. A feeling that he hasn’t felt in years: being loved by a mother. He missed his mother. He missed her cooking. He missed the scent of bread that seemed to always follow her. But she’s dead.
Yet Hestia… it was like Nico was sitting beside her kind mother once again. He knew it was impossible but…
The child of Hades couldn’t help himself. He hugged the goddess as she returned the gesture. Water came flowing out of his eyes and Nico stayed there. “It’s okay, little one. Your mother loved you, I can tell. Don’t worry, you can cry as much as you want, dear.”
So there he was, sobbing on Hestia’s shoulder as she hugged him and whispered words of affirmation to him.
“You are loved.”
“You are worthy.”
“You are beautiful.”
She had said.
Sniffling, Nico pulled away and smiled. “Thank you, Hestia, I needed that.”
“It’s okay, child. You are not the first person who has held bottled emotions. Do you want some… what do the mortals call it… smores while I tend to the fire?”
“Yes, please.”
Her fingers snapped and a packet of smores appeared by Nico. He stayed there for hours and smiled as she told him stories. Stories of heroes, of mortals, of gods… He didn’t care. It was nice to have someone like her to talk to. Someone who wouldn’t judge him for being a son of Hades. Someone who would not judge him for playing mythomagic. Someone who would listen and understand him. Someone like his mother.
“Before I go, Nico Di Angelo, do remember; you are strong and a precious gem. Take care of yourself, son of Hades.” With that, she was gone.