Work Text:
"Just kiss me then," Sunghoon says bluntly. His face was illuminated by the blue lights from his phone screen. "If you so badly want to experience it, just kiss me."
Sunoo thinks that his best friend is completely stupid, and that Sunghoon doesn’t have that brain-to-mouth filter that all people possess. Maybe he was dropped as a baby, or maybe he ate something gross when he was a kid. Whatever happened to him before, it definitely screwed with his brain and logic.
Who the hell suggests that kind of thing? Sunoo was just ranting about how he would probably never get to date a guy despite being in college already and how his first and last kiss would probably be the kiss of death when he’s 80 and senile. He just wants to experience the magic that all those movies and books say about kisses. He wants to see the fireworks explode behind his eyes or the wild butterflies in his stomach. He wants to feel the electricity buzzing under his skin or the rush of adrenaline in his veins.
Yet he’s not doing anything like that at the moment. On a Saturday night, when he’s supposed to be kissing a boy in his room, he’s instead stuck at someone's home with his stupid best friend, who’s too busy playing an RPG on his phone to listen to Sunoo cry about his nonexistent love life and romantic experiences.
"What?" Sunoo manages to say something after being frozen for a moment. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Sunghoon chuckles beside him. "You keep fantasizing about kisses and all that romantic shit like it’s the most magical thing in the world—"
"Because they are!" Sunoo interrupts.
"Well, I’m telling you now that they are most definitely not, " Sunghoon emphasizes the last word like he wants to get it through Sunoo’s head. "Kissing is just kissing. Nothing special about it."
Sunoo thinks that it’s easy for Sunghoon to say—he’s kissed a lot of people before. Sunghoon kissed Hyunjoo when he was twelve, at the back of the playground. He said it was kinda gross because he thought girls had cooties. When he was fourteen, he kissed Jinho in the classroom as a dare. At fifteen, he kissed Minseo on their first date but broke up with her two weeks later. There were a lot of other people that he kissed between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one. Meanwhile, Sunoo was still reading Drarry fanfics and making SuperWhoLock edits on Tumblr during those times, which totally held him back from any of the dating and kissing stuff that their other classmates had been doing.
"I can’t give you my first kiss, Sunghoon. Are you insane? I want to save it for someone special."
Sunghoon snorts. "Okay, good luck with that."
Sunoo glares at his best friend. In retrospect, how did they even become best friends when their personalities are so far from each other? "I don’t like your tone. I’m going to get a boyfriend soon! I swear on Pinky’s grave!"
Maybe he shouldn’t have brought Pinky into this. Sunoo’s failed love life has nothing to do with Sunghoon’s deceased goldfish.
Upon hearing Pinky’s name, Sunghoon abruptly pauses his game and shoots a warning look at Sunoo. Sunoo effectively shoots up because Sunghoon rarely looks scary, but when he does, it makes him look like he’d really commit a murder. Sunghoon sits up, discards his phone somewhere in the bed, and just stares at Sunoo, looming over him and making him even smaller under his stare.
"Don’t bring Pinky into this."
"I know, I’m sorry. Please don’t kill me." Sunghoon won’t actually kill him, but still. It’s easier to beg than to be found lifeless at the scene of the crime.
But Sunghoon doesn’t let up, and instead moves closer to Sunoo, bracing both of his hands on either side of Sunoo’s legs. Sunoo tries to lean back, but he loses his balance and ends up plopping down on the soft pillows beside him, the top of his head only barely missing the wooden headboard.
Sunghoon smirks like a predator trapping his prey and instead moves his hands on either side of Sunoo’s head, pushing the pillows slightly into the bed.
"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" Sunoo finds the courage to slam his hands on Sunghoon’s chest in an attempt to push him away. But it has no effect on his much stronger friend. Fortunately, he stops, barely an inch away from Sunoo’s face, their breaths mingling between them. "I will not hesitate to punch you, you jerk."
The tension breaks when Sunghoon laughs and leans back to stare at Sunoo, lying on his bed. To him, the scene may have looked comedic. For Sunoo, he feels a bit pathetic. He kicks Sunghoon in the stomach lightly with a socked foot. Sunghoon groans but pushes his leg away. He slides beside Sunoo, facing down against the pillows.
"I told you, kisses are no big deal. Of course, we want to be idealistic and think that every kiss would be special, that you’d only do it with the love of your life, " he says with an eye roll. "But the truth is, you’re gonna kiss a lot of people in your life, and they’d just simply be pressing of the lips."
Sunoo gently pushes Sunghoon’s cheek away from him so they wouldn’t face each other, but in the end, he ends up staring into the ceiling while Sunghoon stares at him. He can’t believe they’re going to have a heart-to-heart talk right now about stupid kisses.
"I know. I just wish I had an ounce of an idea of what it feels like. And, you’re right, I’d most likely kiss people I don’t even love. That is, if I even get a date."
"That’s why I’m telling you to kiss me," Sunghoon reiterates. It still makes Sunoo cringe, because Sunghoon’s not one to throw ideas as dumb as this out. "We’re friends. We trust each other. If it turns out horrible—which I doubt because I am an amazing kisser, according to—"
"Get to the point!" Sunoo interrupts. Sunghoon has the tendency to meander into his own narcissism.
Sunghoon chuckles. "All I’m saying is... I won’t make fun of you. And you can use me for, I don’t know, practice?"
"What, like a kissing dummy or something?"
"Yup, exactly like that."
"Why?" Sunoo asks. "Why’d you volunteer for that?"
Sunghoon shrugs. "Because I’m a good friend?"
That triggers Sunoo to actually slap him on the side of his face. "Since when?" Well, to be honest, since ever. Even if they don’t admit it to each other out loud—because they are too cool for that—they do care for each other.
The two burst into laughter, but Sunoo is seriously considering the offer. If there’s anyone he could trust, it’s definitely Sunghoon. Plus, if he’s really telling the truth about being a good kisser, maybe Sunoo can pick up some points for the next person he kisses.
"Alright. I’m only agreeing because it’s dumb and we’re not taking anything seriously," Sunoo says. Sunghoon sends him a mischievous look that he wants to slap away again. "And you have to swear not to tell anyone or I will murder you."
"You’re too soft and sweet to be a murderer."
Well, Sunghoon doesn’t have to know that he was the one who broke Pinky’s bowl. He will take that secret to the grave.
Sunghoon gets up and kneels beside him. And they find themselves in a similar position as before: Sunghoon’s hands braced beside his head and their faces inching closer.
"What do I have to do?" Sunoo whispers between the two of them. "Do I move or?"
Sunghoon smiles down at him. "Just stay still and look pretty." He feels his cheeks flush even though he knows it’s not really a compliment. At least not from Sunghoon, who’s made his life a living hell.
"Close your eyes," Sunghoon instructs with a low voice, just as their noses graze each other. Sunoo does so and tightly shuts his eyes, waiting for their lips to collide.
He feels Sunghoon’s soft lips against him, pressing there gently and easily. He hears Sunghoon’s hand move down to his waist to hold him there, and he jumps slightly. Sunghoon is warm, and Sunoo thinks that he is too. For a moment, they stay like that until Sunghoon pulls away.
He’s right. There were no fireworks, or sparks, or anything like that. It was simply a kiss. And it felt nice.
"You okay?" Sunghoon asks.
Sunoo nods and swallows the lump in his throat before releasing a breath that he’s been holding in his lungs. "Yup. Okay." Then he reaches up and places his hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. He doesn’t look his friend in the eye when he asks, "Is it okay if you try again?"
Sunghoon huffs a laugh. "Sure."
Sunghoon kisses him again with just as much ease and care as earlier. And then he pulls back slightly, only to cover a different part of Sunoo’s lips. Sunghoon kisses the plumpest part of his lips, square in the middle. He kisses the corner of Sunoo's mouth, his cupid’s bow, and wherever his lips could get to. The small sounds of their lips were nice to hear, and Sunoo felt breathless even though Sunghoon was doing all the work.
And it’s nice . Sunghoon doesn’t hurry, and he doesn’t press on too much. And before he lets Sunoo go, he presses a much longer kiss on Sunoo’s lips. Their eyelashes brush against their skin when they open their eyes and look at each other.
"You’re good at this," Sunoo whispers.
"Your lips are dry," Sunghoon whispers back, earning him a well-deserved smack on the shoulder. He laughs again and falls beside Sunoo. Sunoo, on the other hand, feels his lips starting to feel like they’ve been bruised. Sunghoon has left a mark there that no one else can take away, but he finds that he’s fine with that.
Sunghoon is his best friend.
"Happy?" Sunghoon asks him later when they’re surrounded by darkness, with only the streetlights coming in from Sunghoon's window.
Sunoo shrugs. "We’re cool, though, right?" Sunghoon asks.
"Yup," Sunoo assures. "We’re cool."
"Good."
"Great."
Sunoo doesn’t think about that night at Sunghoon’s house. It has totally been erased from his mind, from his skin, and from his lips. He totally doesn’t think about it. Not while he’s brushing his teeth or taking a shower. He doesn’t think about it while answering his algebra homework or when he’s drinking his latte.
And he most definitely does not think about it when he’s going across the cosmetics aisle of the convenience store. There’s nothing on his mind when he plucks a pack of watermelon-flavored lip balm from the rack.
It’s $2.99, definitely cheap, but he hopes it gets the job done.
When he receives a text from the devil himself—Sunghoon—that his cousin will be joining them for their study session, he reminds himself that he swipes a coat of lip balm on his lips because he’s concerned about the state of his skin and that he likes the watermelon flavor.
Oh, who is he kidding?
Whatever happened that night is now forever going to be engraved in his mind. Damn Park Sunghoon. Damn him and his dumb idea. And now Sunoo can’t help but wish he’s back in that room again, against the soft pillows, with Sunghoon’s warm hand on his skin and soft lips on his own.
He should punch some sense to himself.
"I’ll leave this part out because I have no idea what to do with it. I’m sure Jongseong would know," he says. He goes on about a long-winded story about how their family realized that his cousin was a genius. Sunoo has heard this story a thousand times and how Sunghoon found it amusing that Jongseong looked like a stereotypical nerd when they were younger.
Sunoo drowns the rest of it out, and unconsciously lets his eyes wonder down Sunghoon’s face. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t get why a lot of people had a crush on Sunghoon. He’s exactly what people would consider their ideal type. He’s tall, he’s pretty, and he’s relatively nice. He’s smart to an extent and athletic too. And, well, it turns out he’s a good kisser too.
Then again, they don’t know Sunghoon’s not-so-good sides, like how he can be impatient. How annoying he can be. How he doesn’t like Wes Anderson. Or how he has a low alcohol tolerance.
Maybe that’s a privilege that Sunoo can have for himself. You know, since he’s Sunghoon’s best friend. Emphasis on best friend.
"Are you listening?" Sunghoon’s voice snaps him out of his trance. Sunoo blinks and looks back up into his eyes.
"Huh? Yeah. Just, uhm… Information overload, I think."
"Okay, let’s take a break," Sunghoon says before closing his work book. He excuses himself and says he’ll get some snacks.
Sunoo watches his best friend step out of the room and waits for his footsteps to get muted and muted as he walks down the stairs. Sunoo lays back on the carpeted floor and breathes out deeply. He runs his hands through his face and slaps his cheeks to wake himself up. He shouldn’t get distracted by weird thoughts in his head.
He looks at the bed. He curses when his mind betrays him by replaying that scene in his mind. Yet he unconsciously licks his lips and notices that the skin is getting flaky again. He sits up and reaches for his bag, easily retrieving the watermelon lip balm from one of the pockets inside. He swipes a generous amount on his lips, but he freezes when he hears Sunghoon speak.
"What you got there?" By the doorway, Sunghoon asks smugly."Seems interesting." He smirks, and his eyes zero in on the tube of lip balm on Sunoo’s lips. He pops a piece of caramel popcorn in his mouth, letting the dimple show on his cheek with his smile.
Park Sunghoon is incredibly annoying.
Sunoo doesn’t answer him, but he also doesn’r pocket the lip balm because he doesn’t know how to react to his best friend. So when Sunghoon snatches the tube away from his lips, that’s only when he registers that Sunghoon is sitting directly in front of him.
"Watermelon, huh? That’s interesting," he comments.
Sunoo rolls his eyes. "Why?"
Sunghoon shrugs. "I don’t know. You look like a cherry kind of guy." Sunoo doesn’t know what that even means. "Is it good?"
"Gets the job done, I think," Sunoo replies. "I mean, I guess so."
For some reason, they stare at each other for a moment. Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at him, and he meets it with a challenging gaze. Then Sunoo’s eyes take a quick glance at Sunghoon’s lips, wondering if he uses some kind of lip balm too. And then back to his eyes, counting the beauty marks on his face—his choco chips, as Sunghoon calls them.
Then he sees Sunghoon looking at him too. He looks at the lip balm on Sunoo’s lips, then back up at his eyes, like a silent question that Sunoo knows he’s willing to answer. Sunghoon shifts closer forward, their knees touching. "Gets the job done, huh?"
"Yup," Sunoo says. This time, he’s unapologetically staring at Sunghoon’s lips. And then he pushes further. "Wanna find out if it’s effective?"
Sunghoon’s eyes turn into crescents when he smiles and bites his lips. He doesn’t answer Sunoo verbally, and instead leans forward and kisses him. Unlike the first time a few nights ago, Sunghoon moves more playfully. It’s a little less careful and a little more frisky. When he presses their lips, Sunoo almost loses his balance, so Sunghoon puts his hand back on the floor and holds Sunoo by the waist. His grip is a little tighter, like he’s scared that if he lets go, Sunoo will fall.
"Sunghoon…" Sunoo sighs in between kisses. He let his hand take hold of Sunghoon’s shoulder.
"I got you," Sunghoon assures him.
Sunghoon’s lips taste like sweet caramel popcorn, and his breath is warm like summer air. His fresh cologne engulfs Sunoo, making his mind numb and a little bit loopy. It’s like eating sugar and novocaine, and he thinks he’s getting a little bit addicted.
"You should use that more. The watermelon lip balm," Sunghoon says in one breath before swooping in again to capture his lips.
Sunoo can’t help but smile. His hands now inch just where Sunghoon’s shoulders meet the juncture of his neck. He hears Sunghoon sigh when he pinches there lightly. "Sunoo…"
They pause and look at each other, catching their breaths and letting the moment settle beneath their skin. Sunghoon’s pale skin is flushed, and Sunoo can imagine that his is the same. And then it hit Sunoo: What the hell are they doing?
He suddenly pushes Sunghoon away when someone knocks on the door. Sunghoon groans and looks at him, pissed off. "The fuck?" Sunoo furrows his brows and points at the door. Another knock, and a male voice calls out Sunghoon’s name from the other side.
Realization dawns on Sunghoon’s face, and he combs his hair back. "My cousin’s here." Sunoo straightens up and wipes the remnants of Sunghoon’s lips from his mouth. The sweetness of the caramel popcorn remains. "Come in."
The door opens and in comes a guy who’s miles away from how Sunghoon described him in his stories. There were no thick-framed glasses, no chubby cheeks, and no tacky clothes. There was just a tall guy with a sharp jaw and a handsome face. Even his messy hair looks good. "Hey, couz."
"Hey." Sunghoon stands up and gives him the usual bro-hug that he does with everyone, but never with Sunoo for some reason. "This is Sunoo. Sunoo, Jongseong."
"Just ‘Jay’ would suffice," Jongseong, or Jay, clarifies before shaking his hand. "Heard you need help with Algebra?"
"Yeah," Sunoo says, still finding the resemblance between the two cousins and coming to the conclusion that they don’t look alike in any way, shape, or form. "I hope we’re not too much of a bother?"
Jay smiles and takes a seat next to Sunoo on the floor. "Not at all. I’d love to help out."
Without further ado, they start answering their workbook once again, as if Sunoo and Sunghoon never made out where Jay is currently sitting.
Sunoo wants to think that whatever he’s doing with Sunghoon will end soon. It’s not like he hates making out with his best friend in his spare time and pretending like it’s nothing, but he just thinks that they’d stop at some point. Sunghoon has already let him experience what it’s like to be kissed, and he thinks he can confidently go out on a date with someone and have no sliver of worry if ever the other person asks him for a quick peck.
But that’s not the case at all.
In fact, making out with Sunghoon has somehow become a routine.
They always convene in Sunghoon’s room after classes to do their homework or just hang out, the usual activities that they’ve done even before the whole kissing ordeal. But after finishing their homework, they always end up kissing on the floor, with Sunoo’s head pushed back at the foot of Sunghoon’s bed. They don’t get to finish their movies anymore because either of them would gently grab the other by the chin to initiate something.
The only days when they don’t do it at all are when Jay is around to help out with their homework. Sunoo doesn’t get to stick around because Jay always offers to drive him home since their houses are just two streets apart. And by the looks of it, Sunoo doesn’t think Jay knows what they are up to when he’s not around.
However, Friday came and Sunoo declined Jay’s offer. He stays for the night to finish a research paper for their biology subject. Sunoo and Sunghoon get busy at first, exchanging ideas and sharing pertinent links to help each other. They share a bowl of caramel popcorn and assorted cube fruits between the two of them until they call it a night by eleven o’clock, drastically early for the two of them who have already perfected the art of pulling an all-nighter.
Sunoo doesn’t complain, though, because he’s sitting at the foot of Sunghoon’s bed and his best friend’s arms are around his waist. Their eyes are closed and their lips are pressed against each other, only separating to take short inhales of breath from time to time. Sunoo’s own arms circle around Sunghoon’s neck, and he’s kissing him back. He can still taste the caramel popcorn and the honeydew on Sunghoon’s lips. He chuckles.
"What?" Sunghoon asks against his lips. He’s smiling too.
Sunoo shakes his head. "Nothing." He places a quick peck on Sunghoon’s lips. "You taste like honey dew.
Sunghoon hums. "You taste like watermelons."
And then, after weeks of keeping things quite simple—and frankly, vanilla—Sunghoon suddenly bites Sunoo’s bottom lip. Sunoo jumps momentarily, then groans, which makes Sunghoon chuckle. "Wha—"
It doesn’t stop there. Sunoo attempts to open his mouth to ask Sunghoon what he’s doing, but his best friend sees it as an opportunity to swipe his tongue along the seams of Sunoo’s mouth. It feels warm and slippery with spit, but Sunoo finds it a little bit ticklish too, and nice . It feels good .
Sunoo groans again. "Sunghoon…"
"Hmm?"
Sunoo doesn’t answer, too captivated with the way Sunghoon’s lips move against his with practiced ease. He wonders if Sunghoon has already memorized him. He wonders if Sunghoon is confident about his skills because he knows Sunoo trusts him. But something was knocking at his mind. Maybe the reason why Sunghoon is so good at what he’s doing is because he’s gotten a lot of practice from all the other people he’s kissed before. He knows how to kiss properly from dates, from dares, and from Valentine’s confessions.
Suddenly, the honeydew and caramel don’t taste all that sweet anymore. Sunoo pulls back and turns to the side to catch his head. He lets his hands slide from Sunghoon’s shoulders down to the bed sheets. His chest feels like it’s burning for some reason.
Sunghoon freezes and tries to catch Sunoo’s gaze, his tone turning soft. "You okay?" Sunoo doesn’t answer and slowly slides away from Sunghoon, making the mattress creak under them. Sunghoon gives him some space but still rests his palm on Sunoo’s thigh, as if telling Sunoo not to shy away from him. "Sunoo?"
Sunoo looks at Sunghoon—at his best friend—and feels like he’s being suffocated. His cheeks are rosy from the lack of oxygen, and his lips are significantly bruised. Sunoo feels some sense of pride at having been the cause of that—the cause of Sunghoon’s flushed cheeks and bruised lips, the cause of his breathlessness.
He feels Sunghoon’s fingers wrap around his hand, gently pulling him in. Sunghoon’s eyes were full of concern, like he was worried that Sunoo would float away if he didn’t get him any closer. Or at least, that’s what Sunoo would want to think. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No," Sunoo answers without missing a beat. Sunghoon’s not doing anything wrong. He just makes Sunoo feel like he’s going to explode, but not in a bad way. He makes Sunoo feel like he’s going to explode like fireworks—full of color and wonder that leaves everyone in awe.
"Are you sure?" Sunghoon asks again. "We can stop if you want to."
But Sunoo shakes his head and moves closer again. "It’s okay. It just feels different… you know… with the…"
"Oh," Sunghoon huffs, then smirks arrogantly before leaning in again. He stops just a hair’s breadth away from Sunoo’s lips and says, "Don’t worry, I got you." And Sunghoon does get him. He presses his lips to Sunoo’s more firmly, like he’s on a mission to let Sunoo know that he’s the best kisser in the world. And he probably is by Sunoo’s standards, even though Sunoo has never kissed anyone else before. The two of them shift until they get even closer, ending up with Sunghoon sitting in between Sunoo’s legs. His arms cage Sunoo almost protectively, and they lose themselves in each other’s touch.
Sunoo embraces Sunghoon and tries to sneak in a gasp of air, but Sunghoon—the menace that he is—slots his tongue between Sunoo’s lips. Sunoo startles at the foreign sensation and breaks away again.
"Wait…" he inhales sharply. "I don’t know how to do that yet."
Sunghoon places a soft but lasting kiss on Sunoo’s kiss before smiling. "You’re so amusing as always."
"Don’t treat me like some kind of comedy act for you to be entertained with."
"When did I ever?" Another kiss, this time on the corner of Sunoo’s mouth, feels quite innocent on its own. "Just trust your instincts and do what I do."
"Okay," Sunoo whispers.
With his consent, Sunghoon grabs Sunoo’s waist again and pulls him even closer, not letting an inch separate them. Sunghoon tugs at his bottom lip, prompting it to fall open before doing the same thing again. The taste of honeydew and caramel popcorn is more evident now, and Sunoo can’t get enough. He follows Sunghoon’s lead, wishing in the back of his mind that he’s not messing anything up. But then Sunghoon makes a small noise of approval that encourages Sunoo to explore more. Sunghoon’s mouth is warm and sweet just like the rest of him is. When Sunghoon tightens his grip on Sunoo’s waist, Sunoo tries pulling at his hair lightly, making Sunghoon moan in welcomed surprise. Before he could even react, Sunoo was already being pushed down on the bed, but the creaking of the mattress snapped them back to their senses, and they both pulled away before things got out of control.
Their lips are red and plump, glistening with swapped spit. Their chests heaved as they breathed in, and there was a momentary silence where they just stared at each other, knowing that they had stepped out of the boundaries that were supposed to keep all of this contained. But it’s too late to step back into line. At least Sunoo is honest enough to admit that to himself.
This—whatever it is that they’re doing—is going to fuck up with his thoughts and feelings. And it’s a dangerous notion because they’re best friends . He realizes now that he should have just shut his mouth that very first night, or at least rejected Sunghoon’s offer. But it’s too late now, and he doesn’t know how to deal with the fluttering in his stomach anymore every time he sees Sunghoon and his chocolate chips. He doesn’t know how to not think of kissing Sunghoon anymore whenever he puts on a coat of watermelon-flavored balm on his lips.
He doesn’t know how to convince himself anymore that they’re only best friends .
"I think we should get some rest," Sunoo suggests.
"Yeah," Sunghoon agrees. He finally slides off of the bed to stand up and run his fingers through his hair. His eyes tell Sunoo everything. Sunghoon must be fighting with his own internal dilemmas too. He just hopes that their years of friendship won’t be affected by whatever happened between them. Though, he thinks that’s a lie too.
"I’ll just bring the bowls back down. You can tuck yourself in," Sunghoon says. He doesn’t wait for Sunoo’s response, but instead grabs the empty bowls of food and heads to the door. Sunoo gets his bearings back and tucks himself in on his side of the bed. He lets himself disappear under the covers and forces himself to sleep so he won’t feel the bed dip once Sunghoon comes back.
But he does. He feels Sunghoon take his side of the bed and he hears him sigh. He feels Sunghoon turn towards him and whisper, "Sorry" in a broken voice, before Sunoo succumbs to slumber.
It was Thursday when Jay texted Sunoo out of the blue. They’ve already exchanged numbers after the many study sessions that they had in Sunghoon’s room. But Jay also joined their movie nights, but instead of munching on caramel popcorn and cursing at how pretentious Wes Anderson is, he settles for plain buttered popcorn and provides actual, insightful feedback regarding the movies. Sunoo also discovered that they liked the same songs during their countless car rides home. They both have a strong affinity for obscure indie songs that they randomly stumble upon during their 3 AM YouTube deep dives. They have their own inside jokes that don’t include Sunghoon, but they have established that the three of them are sort of like the "Trio".
And then, on Thursday, while Sunoo is watching a rerun of the Great British Bake Off on his couch, his phone dings.
hey sunoo :)
wanna hang out on saturday?
i wanna show you this cool movie theatre i discovered
very lowkey
and well, i thought you’d like it
we don’t have to bring sunghoon bec u know how much he hates "pretentious" movies :/
let me know if ur up to it
and bec i want my intentions to be clear…
yes, im asking you out on a date
Sunoo doesn’t respond because he doesn’t know how to let people down. There’s nothing wrong with Jay. In fact, the mere thought of having someone as attractive and kind as Jay ask him out on an actual date makes him all giddy. It’s just that… Well… He doesn’t see Jay as anything beyond a friend. And wouldn’t it be weird to go on a date with his best friend’s cousin? The whole thing with Sunghoon is still complicated, even though they have already stopped their usual routine (that is, ravaging each other’s lips behind Sunghoon’s closed doors).
They haven’t really talked about it yet. Sunoo doesn’t think they’ll ever talk about it because they’re just not that kind of friends. They’re bad at communicating seriously with each other. He feels like if he opened the topic first, Sunghoon would just laugh at him and tell him not to be so uptight. So he lets things flow naturally. They finish their homework, and Sunoo goes home. They watch movies and sleep after arguing about their opinions.
Sunoo still puts watermelon lip balm on, but this time just because the weather is getting dry and not at all because he’s expecting anything to happen.
He doesn’t know, however, what prompts him to tell Sunghoon about Jay’s invitation for a date. Maybe he just felt like sharing it with Sunghoon because that’s what they’ve always done before. There were no secrets kept from each other, an indication that they were indeed the best of friends.
"Huh?" Sunghoon reacts in the middle of pouring his orange juice. They were on a snack break before going over their respective research papers again. "He did that?"
"Yeah," Sunoo confirms. "But I haven’t responded to him yet."
"Why?"
Sunoo shrugs. "I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. No one’s ever asked me out on a date before, and I’m just not sure if I want to do that with Jay."
Sunghoon finishes pouring his orange juice into a glass, then he quickly takes a swig of it before offering the pitcher to Sunoo. He doesn’t comment more on what Sunoo just shared. And for the remainder of the evening, Sunghoon focuses on his homework and occasionally answers Sunoo’s questions. But they don’t really chat or throw jokes at each other. Sunoo thinks that there’s an upside to it, like the fact that he finally finished his paper without any more delays and with two days left to spare before the submission.
So when nine o’clock came, Sunoo decided to pack his things up and head home. He puts his notebooks and workbooks in his backpack and straightens up from the floor. "I’ll head home for now. Have a great weekend, I guess," he tells Sunghoon, as always.
Sunghoon stands up as well and follows him close behind as he walks to the door. As he does so, Sunoo fishes out the tube of lip balm in his pocket and puts some in his mouth out of habit. But before he could step out of Sunghoon’s room, the door was immediately shut by the hand behind him. Sunoo freezes when he feels Sunghoon’s presence behind him.
"Don’t go," Sunghoon whispers.
"It’s late, Sunghoon. My mom will come looking for me."
"No," Sunghoon says. "Don’t go on a date with Jay."
Oh , Sunoo thinks. He feels like his heart just dropped out of his ass. He wants to say something to Sunghoon, but his mind is fogged and his throat traitorously closed up. He lets the moment pass, hoping he just heard Sunghoon wrong. But even if he didn’t, he doesn’t know why Sunghoon would say such a thing.
Sunghoon had been so supportive of Sunoo’s plans to date someone, albeit the jokes that hide his sincerity underneath. And the main reason why they’re in this unspeakable mess is because they’re practicing . All those times when they kiss or makeout are meant to prepare Sunoo for the real thing , for that time when he will actually kiss and make out with his significant other and not his best friend.
Then again, what’s real and what’s not at this point? Because even though they’d only been practicing , the fluttering in Sunoo’s stomach and the rush of blood in his veins felt real. The yearning and longing for the next time they could have been together felt real. And the confusion that eats at him at night feels real.
And so is Sunghoon. He’s not some kind of abstract entity that’s solely meant for practice . He’s real. He’s solid and warm. He’s kind and funny. And now, he’s behind Sunoo, asking him not to go on a date with someone he wasn’t romantically interested in the first place.
Sunoo doesn’t turn around nor reply. He doesn’t have to because Sunghoon takes the watermelon-flavored lip balm from his hand before lacing their fingers. Then Sunghoon embraces him, making Sunoo all the more confused as to where they stand.
"Sorry. It was my fault," Sunghoon whispers against Sunoo’s shoulder. "I told you kissing is just kissing; that it doesn’t mean anything. But I’m stupid. I’m an idiot. And every time you kiss me, I feel like everything between us makes sense. I’m sorry."
"Sunghoon…"
"You can go on a date with Jay if you want to. But can I have this? Just this once. And then if you do decide to have something with Jay, I’ll try my hardest to stop."
"Sunghoon…"
Sunoo doesn’t get to speak when Sunghoon hugs him tighter. It’s like being crushed by the weight of sudden realization, one that he should have seen coming from the very first time he agreed to Sunghoon’s offer.
Sunoo is also dumb. Sunoo is also an idiot. Sunoo let his emotions get the best of him, and now he just wants to kiss his best friend and maybe cry a little bit.
And so he does.
He pulls Sunghoon’s arms away and turns around. Before Sunghoon could react, he takes him by the chin and leans in to press a lasting kiss square on Sunghoon’s lips. When he opens his eyes, he sees Sunghoon’s eyes widen like saucers, and he tries his best to suppress a laugh. It’s rare to see Sunghoon get taken aback. "I… Wha… I…" Sunghoon stutters.
"I wasn’t planning on accepting Jay’s invitation. I don’t like him like that," Sunoo answers briefly, looking at the collar of Sunghoon’s shirt because he doesn’t think he can admit all of this while facing Sunghoon straight on. "I just got excited that someone attractive finally noticed me. But… Yeah…"
"Okay," Sunghoon sighs, more than says. "Okay," he repeats much louder.
And then, slowly, he steps forward, prompting Sunoo to take a step back. He continues until Sunoo’s back is against the door and he has no choice but to look up at his best friend, whose eyes were staring at him intensely, as if he was trying his best to hold back. But he doesn’t have to. Sunoo wants him to stop being dumb this time and just kiss him again. Sunoo figures that Sunghoon needs a little more push, so he circles his arms around his neck and stands on tiptoes until Sunghoon meets him halfway.
Sunghoon’s arms fit around his waist like the universe designed for them to be there. Their lips slot together perfectly. And Sunoo could feel how feverish Sunghoon’s skin was as they kissed, thinking that he must be hot to the touch as well. But it doesn’t matter. Everything just feels right this time. It’s like his confused thoughts are all gone and all he can perceive is Sunghoon. His best friend. His soulmate. And now, his first love.
He could taste the watermelon on his tongue, and the salty tears that Sunghoon must have been holding back for a long time. He remembers the way he apologized that night, when Sunoo was pretending to be asleep, and regrets not telling Sunghoon that there was nothing to be sorry about. He should have said that he liked kissing Sunghoon too. He should have said that all those times with him stopped being pretend for him too.
But he couldn’t go back to that night anymore, and so he just made it up to Sunghoon now. He makes it up by moving effortlessly with him with every peck. He makes it up by pulling him in and pulling at his hair a little bit. He makes it up by letting Sunghoon bite his lips and tongue at the seams of his mouth. And when they pull apart after their passionate exchange, he makes it up by placing a chaste kiss on Sunghoon’s cheek and sneaking a whisper in his ear.
"Let’s not practice anymore."
Sunghoon chuckles despite his tears and whispers back, "You are delightful, watermelon boy. Have I ever told you that?"
"Don’t ever call me watermelon boy ever again," Sunoo retorts playfully.
"It’s catchy, I think. I mean you do have a watermelon-flavored lip balm, which is probably on the floor or something because I dropped it. But still—"
"For once, can’t you just shut up and kiss me?" Sunoo abruptly interrupts.
Sunghoon immediately purses his lips before giving Sunoo a dimpled smile.
"Okay."
"Good."
"Great."