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The night is late and quiet. You lay on your bed, curled up to sleep. You can’t sleep yet, but you’re relaxed. But you’re not alone, not by any means. John cuddles you, your head pillowed on his shoulder. Curled against your side and squished against the wall is Karkat, making soft rumbling noises that might be purring or might be anger in his sleep. Terezi’s curled around John, one leg thrown over his to touch yours. Vriska’s snoring behind her, one arm hanging off the bed. Even with the gigantic bed you bought for this, you all almost don’t fit - but it’s not exactly like that’s a problem. It’s warm, and it’s peaceful. You muse over your memories since it seems like you’re a little too awake to join them in sleep yet.
When you were a kid, you only understood one life path, one nothing like what you’ve since chosen for yourself. You’d grow up getting the shit beaten out of you on the daily, something you thought was normal. When you could, you’d move out on your own. At some point, you’d meet some pretty girl, get married, and have kids. You’d stay in some tedious job for the rest of your life and never show your emotions if you could avoid it. Bro did none of that shit but still impressed it upon you, often through violence. Yet, that wasn’t his only method. He pushed it through media, through jokes, and through casual hate that he spewed towards anyone who didn’t fit that model. He judged through the lens of stupid cool-dude man-bro bullshit - as if any guy who didn’t get laid or get rich, or who acted gay or like a girl was a total loser. He’d hurt you for not obeying or plain old existing, and the pain was a powerful motivator to make you listen.
You took in that shit without much of anything else to counter it. Even at thirteen, you were in deep. In some stupid, fucked-up way, the meteors saved you, and Jack saved you again when he killed your Bro. That shit saved you from a shitty life, even if it dumped shitloads of trauma all over you. As if you didn’t have enough shit to unpack. You’ve had plenty of time to come to terms with that messy emotion, and you’ve worked through it how you can. You know it’s fucked up, and you know it’s how you feel anyway.
On the meteor, at least, you had a chance to unpack it, even if you didn’t want to at first. Being in the general vicinity of so many nosy assholes didn’t leave much room for you to avoid your shit. You had to deal with Rose, Kanaya, Karkat, Terezi, and even Vriska. One way or another, they were all on you. There wasn’t a shortage of shit to deal with, either. Doomed selves dying left and right, your entire shitty childhood, for starters, and all those messages baked into you from when you were little. You weren’t the only one with shit to work through, though. You like to think that your bullshit helped the others through theirs too.
It took a lot of time, a lot of pain, and a lot of work, but you did. You opened up, you healed, you moved forward - and in many ways, you still are healing, still working at it. You all are, for all that the group of you have accomplished. Sometimes, you’re almost too fucking proud of the people around you for the progress they’ve made. You know they feel the same about you. Your family, your friends, your partners - you’ve all come so damn far. You love them all, and you can say so now, without feeling weak for admitting to it or afraid of how they’ll react. Without deflection or uncertainty, you can accept their affection. You can be happy when they tell you that they love you. After everything, all the casual little hugs and ‘love yous’ feel like victories. Every kiss you share with your partners is a fucking triumph and a reward for living, growing, and healing. The road to get to where you are was long, but you fucking managed it.
Karkat was a lot of firsts for you. Your first non-corpse-smooch kiss, your first partner, your first date. The first guy you let yourself have feelings for, the first person you opened up to. The first person you managed to tell that you loved before you could even tell Rose how much you care for her. You love him and adore him, and you’re not quiet about it. Your bickering, shenanigans, casual movie nights, and relaxing mornings kept you going. He supported you, even when it seemed like nothing else did. He’s your rock, the person you fall back on when things get shitty, the person you trust the most out of anyone in the world. You’d do damn near anything for him; what you have with him means the world to you. At first, when your crushes didn’t fade away, and you caught yourself daydreaming about non-monogamy, you were fucking terrified. You didn’t think it was right to want what you did; you didn’t think you could have that. But Karkat supported you, and you made that next step together.
That next step was, in fact, Terezi. Of the people you were close to, she was the most complicated. A crush you felt allowed to have and yet clashed with like oil and water. You adore her wicked humor, struggle with her cruel streak - but so does she. At first, she was the subject of some stupid sort of love triangle. She found herself stuck between the affections of yourself and Karkat. Instead of choosing between the offered options, she picked Vriska - and to be close friends with both of you. After the Game, it was only years later that any of you even considered revisiting that. When your hangouts with her started getting romantic, you had to confront your many feelings over the idea. Once you’d done that, you decided to broach the subject with her. It took a lot of negotiating, communicating, and being open - shit you were still getting used to - but she and you and Karkat fit together like puzzle pieces. You didn’t even have to push Vriska out. You thought it would stop there, but it didn’t.
In some fucked-up way, you relate to Vriska. You have since you got to know her as Terezi’s girlfriend and Karkat’s rival. She would be you if you were angrier, more like your Bro wanted, and meaner. You would be her if she were more passive, more self-sacrificing, or if her mother didn’t force her into murder. Her culture promoted violence and aggression, and yours never did, not to that extent. You can relate to her over the bittersweet feeling of losing a guardian who hated your identity and treated you like shit. Who forced you into violence you didn’t want and neglected you. It was over those things that you first found some weird camaraderie with her after your relationship had sparked with Terezi. You tried to get to know her in late nights so you could at least be on decent terms with your girlfriend’s girlfriend. Over jokes, music, and anger after the Game, she helped you come to terms more than you already had with how fucked up your childhood was. To an extent, you did the same for her. You couldn’t be vulnerable around her, especially not at first, but you could be blunt, angry, and loud. Unlike other people you two knew, she never backed down. The two of you fought, slammed into a black romance of the ages over mutual anger that needed an outlet. In each other, you found one. Things cooled down a little once the initial storm was over, once the fiery rage against your similar pasts and different reactions calmed. You still vent and fight with her, a safe outlet for the anger you two share, but now you can lean on each other a little more. Paler, if still at least somewhat black. She joined your little relationship, linked to you as well as Terezi - but it didn’t stop there, either.
John was the last to join your little polycule and the last person you would have expected to despite being your first ever crush. He seemed straight as a line and monogamous, never deviating from desiring the life path you hated. He was even dating Roxy, and you thought for sure your lingering kid crush on him would have to fade as it did with Jade. But then, almost faster than you could register, Roxy and John split ways, and she ended up with Jane and Calliope instead. He sought you out to chat and for comfort after the breakup. By that point, you were happy in your relationship with Terezi and Vriska, but he had feelings for them both, as he admitted. You encouraged him to go to them, to at least tell them. It worked out well enough. John was amenable to the weird conglomeration of people dating each other once he’d seen it for himself. Before long, John learned how it all worked, and he liked it. At first, he dated the two girls, taking his time to explore quadrants and such. You were a supportive friend, and Karkat a friendly rival. Things with him turning romantic didn’t happen on purpose, not at first. It was natural to hold his hand, to talk to him in the same affectionate tone you did with your partners and Vriska. You acted for all the world as though the two of you were dating. After months of that, he asked to make it official; ask if you wanted that. It startled you, even though it had been clear to the point where your partners teased you about it. Still, of course, you said yes - and shortly after, he elected to try out a relationship with Karkat and never stopped.
For now, it’s stopped there. You sometimes wonder if it’ll get bigger, but you’re beyond happy as things are. You’ve soothed the urge for more that drove you to first talk to Karkat about it. Five of you, all entangled in your relationships with each other. Very much in love, hate, or in some cases, both. Surrounded by them, embraced by them, you’re at peace. You need them all. You have them all. The path you expected gave you a choice, and you chose not to choose. You didn’t have to lose any of them. You didn’t pick girls or guys; you didn’t pick a single person to love. You love them all, and you can’t imagine being happier with your decisions. You rejected every bit of the life path presented to you, as did they, and you’re all much better off for it. With a smile, you shift a little, pulling John and Karkat closer. You hook your ankle with Terezi’s - and if you could reach Vriska, you’d tug her closer too. You’re at peace, on a calm night with nothing to fear, and you think it’s time you got some sleep.