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Seeing that there are little to no potato chips left for him isn't enough to distract Chan from the sadness that consumes him once he comes back from their very tiny kitchen.
You see, Chan was initially happy about the news. They no longer had to worry about unwanted knocks on the door, they had their own rooms to breathe in once schedules are cleared for the day, and the places they were moving into is just bigger. It's less of a cramped apartment and something similar to a penthouse he couldn't currently afford to live in.
He was happy because at least he got Changbin and Jisung as housemates—again, they really couldn't be separated. And then there's Hyunjin, who only ever colors clean canvases and blasts his favorite music rotation in their dorm. That, and they're all the busiest when everyone's supposedly asleep, so it's all good.
But watching the people he's smiled, cried, celebrated, and dreamed with enjoying their last late night snack party before moving out of this insufferable dorm they've made a home out of makes him...sad.
Chan realizes that as much as there are a lot of things to be happy about, the things he will miss outweighs them. Like the late night snack parties he always initiated.
A shallow breath leaves him as he watches Jisung and Seungmin playfully fight over who gets the last strip of sour candy. When Minho and Felix talk to each other about food they'll try making together once they get to their new place, the smile he puts on makes his heart ache. Chan tries not to tear up when he sees Jeongin reluctantly accept Changbin's bone crushing embrace.
His efforts on not crying are all wasted though when he realizes that by the time he plans to cook kimchi stew, he won't make an amount enough for seven bowls.
"Hyung?"
Chan sniffles, his hands quickly rubbing the wetness on his cheeks away. "I just cut some onions! Don't worry 'bout me, haha."
"Where are the onions, then." Minho raises an eyebrow, definitely not buying his poor excuse. "Just say you're crying, it's not like we're gonna laugh at you."
He is really going to miss Minho's straightforwardness and how he expects that the most from his only hyung. Chan's face scrunches, but he holds back the sob.
Ah, he shouldn't have cried, especially not in front of Felix who can already tell what he's thinking about with one look. Because that means he'll start getting emotional too—and he already is, his eyes already sparkling.
None of them do anything to shrug off the atmosphere that's dampening their party. In fact, Seungmin adds to it. "It's not like we've disbanded or someone's enlisting, y'know. We'll just be apart for a few hours."
He's right. He is. It's not like they're on a group hiatus or someone's getting their head shaved in a few hours; those events will come later, but dear god, Chan's so fucking sad. The fact that their living situation is becoming like this just means that they're sort of close to those stages.
Four years with the boys he picked to debut with passed by too fast for his liking. Of course, he knew this day would come.
A part of him just wished along the way that it didn't.
"Hyung, think about it." Jeongin speaks, and the certainty in his tone brings out the sob Chan has been holding in. "I'll only piss three people off when I spill water or break things in the new place. You also won't have to tiptoe your way to your room for my sake anymore because Minho hyung, Seungmin hyung, and Felix hyung all sleep early. The arrangement is good. We'll be less annoying to each other."
Chan looks down on the floor, his shoulders shaking. Again, Jeongin raised some good points for all of them, but still. "I really never minded tiptoeing to my room late at night if it meant I can greet all of you a good morning once we're all by the couch," he confesses.
Before he can get a little more honest with the kids, he stops himself because he shouldn't be like this. He shouldn't make it obvious that he is really affected by this, like he's a child again feeling anxious because he's being separated from all he's ever known.
He shouldn't love and care for the kids too much when they're in this because it's technically their job, and that they're coworkers before friends, and that Chan is sure they don't see him the way he does.
"Stop making us cry."
Chan looks up, only to see Hyunjin pressing tissues against his eyes, his plump lips wobbling. His eyes then go to Jisung who's just letting his tears flow, deciding to give the sour candy strip to Seungmin.
By the time his eyes land on Changbin who has only hugged Jeongin tighter, Chan starts really crying, like letting snot drip down his nose and digging his nails into his palms hoping that regulates the tears he's shedding.
"I'll miss this dysfunctional place," Changbin utters, grabbing more tissues for an already teary-eyed Jeongin. "You guys made this worth staying at."
"I was initially over the moon about moving out, but now I am gonna miss all of us under one roof." Jisung adds, ruffling Hyunjin's hair to comfort him.
"Vacations were already rough for us." Jeongin points out, blowing his nose. "What more for this?"
Chan finally walks over to the small table where they're all at, resisting the urge to make an attempt at making all of them fit in his arms. Minho is the only one still not swayed to tears, but he's wearing a halfhearted smile. To him, it's like Minho's expression saying he's crying with them too.
"We still have to practice for the year-end shows." Chan says, his tone coming off like he's talking to himself. "We literally see each other every day, why did I get emotional over this?"
Seungmin chuckles, reaching out from where he's sitting to gently squeeze Chan's arm. "It's okay, we know how much we mean to you."
The last time he has cried this terribly was during one night when the homesickness was so severe it felt like it was literally ripping his heart apart. He knows that this whole moving out thing will hurt him just as much.
Because they're his home too.
Felix gets up from his seat, walking to Chan to give him the tightest hug he'll have to savor forever. Being aware that they'll no longer get to cuddle on his bunk anymore feels like a punch to the gut. "I'll come over whenever I can, okay?"
At least they're not oceans away from each other, Chan thinks. "That'd be great."
"Let's just have the late night snack parties at the practice room," Minho suggests sincerely. "They won't mind some crumbs."
Jisung's mouth opens in shock. "Hyung...you're so smart."
And suddenly, the atmosphere is light and fun again, and they're so obnoxiously loud that it surely will piss off some of their neighbors but Chan couldn't care less. Not when everyone is still here and the home he's made for himself and all of them is still whole.