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“Are you sure this is the way?” Brienne asked.
“You’re the one with the directions!” Jaime snarked back.
They had been on the road since noon, and even the comfortable seats of his luxury SUV couldn’t alleviate the ache in his leg from driving for hours.
“You always get cranky when you drive too long. You should have let me take a turn.”
That was her “patience of a saint voice.” Jaime felt his shoulders creep farther up towards his ears.
“You were up all night studying. You conked out before we left Storm’s End and were unconscious to the Twins. No way was I letting you into Honor’s driver’s seat.”
“Well, you should have been up all night studying with me. If you get less than an A in Post-Conquest History, you can kiss grad school goodbye.” Brienne’s arms crossed over her chest, and she huffed that special Brienne huff of exasperation.
At least the tone of martyrdom was gone.
The car rounded another turn on the narrow country road, and a vista spread out before them. Even in the dark of the rural North, Jaime could tell it was beautiful.
Millions of stars shone in the clear skies above and were reflected in the tranquil waters of a large lake. Dense forest surrounded the clearing. A breeze brought the fresh scent of pine through his open window.
And a small cabin stood where the road came to a dead-end.
“That can’t be right,” Brienne said.
“There’s no way all the Starks, Stark-adjacents, and their dogs could fit in that place for a night, much less all summer.” Jaime pulled his phone from the charger, clicked off “Driving Playlist #5 (Driving With Sleepy Brienne)”, and opened their group chat.
Brienne was checking as well.
“Still nothing,” they said in unison.
They both went to their contacts lists and waited for their calls to connect.
“Addam Marbrand is not available to take your call. Please leave a message after the beep.”
Jaime heard Brienne over the sound of Addam’s canned voice mail greeting.
“Sansa, are you guys all right? Jaime and I seem to have gotten turned around. Call me as soon as you get this. We need help with your directions.”
“Addam, what the fuck? Where are you assholes? Call me back, dude, asap!”
Jaime leaned back against the headrest, waiting for one of their friends to get back to them. In the glare of her reading light, Brienne examined the two pages of directions.
“I’ve gone over this, Jaime. I can’t figure out where we went wrong. They just aren’t that complicated. We turned right at the gas station, then left at the stop sign. That put us on this road. There were a few turnoffs, but Sansa says to follow the road to the end. See.”
Brienne thrust the printout at Jaime’s face.
“I believe you, Stretch. Maybe there’s more to the house at the back or another cabin behind this one. Whichever, I’ve got to get out and move, or my knee is gonna seize up.”
“Sansa said the key would be under the mat if we got in late. You check for that, and I’ll look to see if there’s another cabin behind.”
“Sounds like a plan, B.”
Jaime took his time getting out of the car. He hated that his football injury left him creaking like an old man some days. He hobbled up the two shallow steps to the cabin door and lifted the mat. Sure enough, there was a bright, shiny metal key.
“I found it!” He shouted.
Brienne came back around the side of the building. “Just as well, there’s nothing back there but a woodpile and more forest. I’ll grab the bags. You go ahead in.”
Jaime opened the door and stepped into the cabin. A fire burned in a pot-bellied woodstove, warming the open-plan room, a combination of living space, kitchen, and sleeping area. There was a single door at his left.
One. Door.
Jaime’s head swiveled about, hoping to find some indication that this wasn’t the extent of the structure.
Brienne came in, toting her battered duffle bag and towing Jaime’s titanium roll-aboard.
“Why you think it’s necessary to bring a fancy suitcase to the woods, I’ll never understand,” she groused, then stopped short. “What’s wrong?”
“Um, did you see an outhouse when you were walking around out back?”
“Gods, no. Sansa said that their lake house had all the mod cons. I had enough of outhouses when I was north of the wall at spring break. Once you’ve experienced a Wilding latrine, you never want to see one again.”
“If there isn’t an outhouse, then I’m guessing that’s the bathroom.” Jaime pointed at the single door in view.
Brienne’s head swiveled about, searching, just as Jaime’s had earlier. “What the hells is that?”
Jaime had missed a laptop sitting on the low table between a loveseat and armchair. The computer screen was dark, but a giant pink post-it was centered on it. The words “Play ME!” were printed above an arrow pointing down at the controls.
Brienne and Jaime raced to follow the instructions.
The screen lit up, and a video began. Their four friends, Sansa, Margaery, Addam, and Bronn, appeared. The background was the room where Jaime and Brienne now stood.
“Surprise, suckers!” Addam called out.
“We’re sorry we tricked you,” Sansa said.
“But we couldn’t stand the tension anymore,” Margaery continued.
“You two need to get your shite together, and if you won’t do it yourself, we’ll force you to.” Bronn grinned into the camera.
“Well, we can’t force you to stay, but it’s probably too late to drive back tonight. I’m sure Jaime’s knee is giving him hell,” Addam said.
“There’s Tiger Balm in the bathroom cabinet if you want to help him with that, Brienne,” Margaery smirked.
“We’ve laid in plenty of supplies and firewood so that you won’t starve or freeze,” Sansa looked earnestly into the camera. “We’ll check in by phone in two days. If you’re desperate to get a break from each other, I’ll send you the real directions to my parent’s lake house. If you want to stay there, the cabin is paid up for two weeks. There’re hiking trails; the lake is great for fishing and swimming. I left one of our canoes tied at the dock …”
“Or they could just stay inside and fook like minks,” Bronn interrupted Sansa’s catalog of possible activities.
“I’m sure you’ve already noticed,” Margaery’s smirk grew to a grin, “there’s only one bed. Brienne, I told you I’d get back at you for mocking that scene in ‘Goldenhand and the Blue Knight.’”
“Let’s get back on track, people,” Sansa ordered as she looked at her three co-conspirators. Then her gaze softened as she turned to the camera once more. “We hope you realize we’re doing this out of love for you.”
“I’m doing it out of exasperation,” Margaery said.
“And disgust!” Bronn and Addam added simultaneously.
“For whatever reason, you two need to realize that you feel the same way about each other. You can have something great together. Just give yourselves a chance.”
Sansa leaned forward, and the screen went dark.
Heart pounding, palms sweating, Jaime stood frozen.
Brienne cleared her throat a couple of times, then spoke, “Can you believe them? When I get a hold of Sansa Stark, I’ll … I’ll … Well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it will be diabolical!”
Jaime couldn’t believe Addam would betray him this way. It was a total violation of the bro code. The feelings Jaime’d confessed had been told in confidence. Drunken confidence! He sure as hells had never said one word to Bronn.
“What do you want to do, Jaime? I hate to let them win, but we passed that last motel two hours ago. I don’t think your knee will take another drive that long.”
Brienne’s big, warm hand grasped Jaime’s shoulder and gave him a little shake.
“Are you alive in there?”
“Yeah,” Jaime choked out. “I think we’re stuck for the night. I’ll take the floor.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’d be lucky to be able to walk tomorrow. I’ll take the floor.”
“You didn’t sleep last night, Stretch. If you take the floor, you’ll be pissy the whole way home.”
Brienne glanced from the double bed in the corner and back to Jaime. “We’re friends, right? And grown-ups. We can share a bed for a night and not fall into whatever stupid little rom-com our friends are envisioning.”
“Yeah. Sure. Grown-ups. No rom-com moments.”
I can brazen this out.
It was going to be a long night.
***
Brienne was bent over, stoking the fire as Jaime exited the bathroom. The view of her amazing ass was the last thing he needed to greet him. He cleared his throat, and Brienne jumped about a foot in the air.
She turned, adjusting the strap of her tank top as she did.
“It that your House sigil on your boxers?” Brienne asked, her eyebrows climbing toward her hairline.
Little golden lions did indeed dot his crimson smallclothes. “You’re just jealous because my shorts are prettier than yours.” Jaime ostentatiously scratched his bare chest. Maybe if he infuriated Brienne enough, he would get through the night without revealing his deepest emotions.
“You should see my other pair. The rampant Lannister lion is right over my …”
“T-shirt!” Brienne interrupted him. “Aren’t you going to wear a t-shirt?”
“Sleeping in a t-shirt chafes my nips. We’re adults, after all. T-shirt, no t-shirt, it shouldn’t matter to you.”
Maybe Brienne’s easy rejection of any attraction between them hurt more than Jaime was willing to admit.
“How’s your knee?” She asked. “Do you need some Tiger Balm?”
The idea of Brienne massaging his leg caused a couple of the golden lions on his shorts to twitch. Jaime turned away quickly and walked to the right side of the bed. “I’ll do it in the morning before we take off. Right now, I just want to get to sleep.”
“Oh, okay. You sleep on the right? That’s good. I sleep on the left.”
“Our friends were right. Obviously, we’re made for each other.”
Brienne winced and flushed from her cheeks down to the neckline of her top.
“Sorry, Stretch. I don’t mean to be a pill. I’m just tired.”
They slid into their sides of the bed. And immediately rolled together.
Of course, Sansa got a cabin with a crap mattress.
Jaime tried to roll back to his side of the bed but slid right back against Brienne.
“This will be fine, Jaime. Just go to sleep.”
They both wriggled around trying to get comfortable, smushed together in the center dip in the mattress.
Jaime prayed Brienne would stop wiggling.
“Something is poking me in the backside. Do you feel a broken spring?” Brienne asked.
The gods hated Jaime.
“That’s not a spring, Brienne.”
“Oh. OH. But Margaery said you aren’t attracted to someone that way unless you’re in love.”
Fuckin’ Margaery Tyrell. Another asshole who can’t keep a drunken secret.
Jaime sighed and grasped Brienne’s shoulder to turn her towards him. He looked into her azure eyes and prepared to blow up his closest friendship.
“I’m not, Stretch. Or, I mean, I am. Our friends aren’t so stupid after all. At least not on my part.”
“Me? But you’re you.”
Jaime wanted to believe that was hope he saw in Brienne’s eyes.
“And you’re you, Stretch. You’re everything.”
A long time later, as he drifted off to sleep, relaxed and replete, Jaime couldn’t help but chuckle.
Their friends were going to be insufferable.