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Aizawa Shouta had arrested eight vigilantes in the same amount of weeks, and he almost felt like crying. Of course, since his tear ducts weren’t that functional, he just stuck with exuding more Pissed Off energy than usual. Every time he brought a vigilante to the police station, he had to convince them to give him their name for intake paperwork because for some reason it fell under his jurisdiction as a hero rather than the cops’, then he had to figure out if he even had enough proof to charge them with illegal quirk usage and vigilantism, then he had to stay through the whole interrogation process and even the court case if it came to that, not to mention all the paperwork if there was a media backlash from arresting a vigilante that the people liked.
Basically, he was tired.
He was good at catching vigilantes, though; maybe even better at renegade-wrangling than he was at catching criminals. Of course, with the fall of the League of Villains there were more and more criminals and villains with brains wandering the streets as opposed to vigilantes who almost always started down their paths either on a whim or because they flunked out of or failed to make it into hero school, so Shouta wasn’t surprised at the absence of logic that came along with their actions.
Therefore, the HPSC and the police demanded his help whenever a new one popped up that just couldn’t be caught by anyone else, and although he had to admit was a logical thought process, it was half-past three in the morning and he just wanted to go home and cuddle his husband, was that really too much to ask?
He turned to the man he had just nabbed, vigilante alias Silverfish, and sighed, head in his hands. Whether that was from the physical exhaustion, the mental exhaustion, or the migraine, not even Shouta knew.
“Why”, he demanded, “would you become a vigilante? Why not just take some Hero Commission course that lets you get your license in three months if you’re so confident in your abilities?”
The man on the ground looked a little confused at the questioning, but he still went along with it. “Being a hero just seems like too much paperwork and red tape all the time.”
Shouta, who was already internally complaining about the amount of paperwork this would cause, let out a little growl under his breath. Then, all of the sudden, a lightbulb went off. Then a few more. Fucking police cars and their flashing lights. Shouta’s migraine couldn’t deal with this.
Then a metaphorical lightbulb went off.
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Three days after Shouta’s lightbulb moment, the vigilante Foxtrot debuted.
Foxtrot was named for their smooth movements during combat and the kitsune mask they wore to hide their identity. They would use knives like an extension of their own body when fighting, all the way up until the point where those same knives would shoot from their hands, pinning or stabbing criminals where they stood.
When Foxtrot brought criminals to the door of the police station or called in their locations through an untraceable burner phone, they didn’t have to fill out a single form.
Along with their mask, another one of their motifs was that every person they brought in had a blue-ink stamp of a fox’s foot on them, which began as soon as they had been given their moniker by the police. This, of course, was done solely to disconnect the vigilante Foxtrot from the underground hero Eraserhead. Not because Shouta found it funny, or maybe a little cutesy. Because he didn’t, not at all. He didn’t do cutesy.
Even though his usual time spent on patrol had gone up, the time he spent doing paperwork had plummeted. Shouta was also no longer expected to patrol for any old criminal or vigilante, no, he as Eraserhead had been assigned to capture himself as Foxtrot.
Oddly enough, he was having a hard time doing so.
Hizashi had even noticed his uptick in mood, mainly because the time they’d spent cuddling had shot up (not that either of them were complaining). The voice hero had also been able to get Shouta to eat breakfast every once in a while, which was quite the monumental task.
Though, having a Pro Hero for a husband was always a risk factor when living a double life.
“Shou,” Hizashi said one morning, apropos of nothing, while the two of them sat on their sofa drinking coffee. “You seem to be stuck on the one case with Foxtrot, huh?”
“Mm,” Shouta nodded.
Hizashi leaned down so he could look his husband in the eyes. “Shou. What’s going on? You’re really not frustrated at all?”
Shouta looked up, but he couldn’t quite meet Hisashi’s eyes. “I’m just happy, ‘Zashi.” Then he leaned into his husband’s chest, half to hide from the green eyes he could feel dissecting him and half just because he could.
If anything, though, what he’d said had just concerned the other man more. “Shou, you and I both know you don’t do ‘happy’. You can trust me with anything, you know.”
“I know,” said Shouta, looking up at his husband. “I love you, ‘Zashi.”
The two of them leaned in to give each other a sleepy peck on the lips.
“Love you too, Shou.”
r/relationship_advice
My husband [32M] has been acting strange and out of character lately, and I [32M] am afraid he’s been breaking the law.
u/ScreamAndShout • 9h
My husband has always been very against a specific crime (let’s say “tax evasion”). In fact, a large portion of his job revolves around identifying ”tax evaders” and being responsible for them being put in jail. However, lately he’s been acting really weird whenever I bring up “tax evaders” and keeps avoiding conversation about them. He also only ever refuses to meet my eyes when he’s hiding something, and he’s been doing it a lot lately.
I don’t know if my husband has really been “evading taxes”, but he’s been acting really sketchy, and I think a large part of it is that I work in law enforcement, though in a different position than he does. I’m also supposed to report whenever I see someone breaking the law as part of my job. Should I confront my husband about this? I really don’t know what to do.
+ 375 - 51 comments
Comment Sort: Top
u/BraindeadAsshole • 7h
OP, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband is definitely a tax evader
+ 232 -
u/allmight4lyfe • 6h
i cannot tell you how much i want an update to this. what does “tax evader” stand for. you’re killing me here, op
+ 196 -
u/fuckyachickenstrips • 8h
Divorce him. A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust and if your husband can’t trust you with what he’s doing that means he’s cheating on you. I’d recommend checking your underwear drawer for clothes that aren’t yours and put a tracker on his phone so you know where he is.
+ 32 -
u/mamamiapizzeria • 7h
what the fuck
u/mirukosthighs • 7h
r/everyfuckingthread
Shouta had been shrugging off his paperwork duties via vigilantism for over four months now. Unfortunately, due to his more illegal persona’s high capture rate and inability to be captured, Foxtrot had become somewhat of an internet sensation. Also unfortunately, the “Acts of Vigilantism” unit in his Hero Law class was beginning.
“Alright, class,” he drawled, “Who here has heard of the Naruhata Vigilantes? You may have heard of them as Knuckleduster, The Crawler, and Pop☆Step.”
Almost half of the class raised their hands.
“Has anyone heard of the Neutral Healer?”
The original Problem Child raised his hand, but nobody else did. Aizawa wasn’t surprised, as most vigilantes weren’t well known.
Shouta kept throwing out names of different vigilantes, renegades, and villains-that-weren’t-quite-villains. Although it was common for a student or two to recognize whatever name he gave them, some of the people didn’t ring a bell for anyone in the class.
Getting to the last one on his list, Shouta just barely controlled his sigh.
“How many of you have heard of Foxtrot?”
Every hand shot up.
Goddamn it.
Unfortunately for Shouta, the part of the HPSC that scrubbed underground heroes away from the internet was not available for the everyday vigilante, so while his legal heroism was obscured from the public eye, his illegal actions were thrust into the limelight.
Resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands, Shouta looked out at his students, who were now loudly clamoring for any gossip their teacher would have on the mysterious figure.
“Alright,” he said, and his class was silent in seconds between his steely tone and quirk powered glare. “You all get five questions total. Make them count.”
“Ooh, ooh! Is it true that even you have never been able to catch them?” asked Ashido, her seat screeching a little as she bounced up and down.
“Yes. That’s one.”
“Why couldn’t you just wrap them in your capture weapon? There’s no way they could escape that.”
“Their main weapon is knives, Kaminari. Although my capture weapon is strong, it’s not invincible.”
‘Foxtrot is wrapped in my capture weapon right now, Kaminari,’ whispered the little voice in the back of Shouta’s head.
‘Shut the fuck up,’ Shouta whispered back.
He was snapped out of his inner battle by another question. “What’s the common consensus on what their quirk is, Sensei?”
Ah, it was the Problem Child asking. Shouta wasn’t surprised. “The common consensus on Foxtrot’s quirk is that it’s a speed or agility quirk.”
The boy frowned. “But-”
“Let your other classmates speak, Problem Child.”
God, Shouta would be pissed if he got figured out by a fucking high-schooler.
“Aizawa-sensei, does Foxtrot have ties to the League?”
Shouta almost frowned, miffed that someone would ask that, but it was true that although the League had been taken down, it still had effects throughout almost all of Japan. “Foxtrot has denied all connections to the League and I’m inclined to believe him—them. I’m inclined to believe them.”
He heard a gasp, though he couldn’t tell which of his students it came from.
“Sensei!” Oh, it was Hagakure. No wonder he couldn’t tell. “You totally just called them ‘him’! Are you friends with Foxtrot?”
“No. And that’s question five.”
After all, you can’t be friends with yourself.
Fans of the Vigilante Foxtrot Demand A Spot in the Rankings
Posted September 10, 20XX by Tanaka Haru
Six months ago, Foxtrot debuted by taking down a small drug ring. Now, half a year later, the vigilante has taken Japan by storm. Unofficial merchandise is available online and even in some physical stores; just walking through a crowded street shows schoolgirls with blue paw prints on their cheekbones as decoration and stamps as keychains on dozens of bags and backpacks. Foxtrot’s biggest community of fans on Discord is called The Fox’s Den, and it has over 500,000 members.
I interviewed several members of The Fox’s Den to talk about their most recent endeavor: putting the vigilante on the Official Hero Rankings.
“We have a petition,” said one member, a moderator who asked to be referred to as Gravity Girl. She sent me the link to the petition, which, at the time of writing, has over 850,000 signatures. “It’s going to be hard for the HPSC to ignore the petition once it has over a million contributors.”
Others didn’t seem as certain: “It’s definitely an impressive effort, but the HPSC are some bitchass (sic) motherfuckers. They’re not going to let an unlicensed hero up there, especially since Foxtrot would easily hit the Top 150,” Head Mod @sleepycat told me.
This brings up an interesting question: what, exactly, is a hero? A pro hero’s license allows them to… Read More
It was supposed to be a sting operation to catch Foxtrot. Shouta had listened to every word of the plan; he was, after all, one of the people heading the case. At the last minute he’d begged out with a migraine, which he hadn’t even had to fake. Unfortunately. However, the police needed to see Foxtrot up and active, so he took as many painkillers as he could without causing his liver to spontaneously combust and slipped on his mask.
He walked into the warehouse, perching on the wall in the trap he’d set for himself, positioning himself just right so he was where the plans said he would be. Then he froze.
Whispers, from below.
“Boss said the cops are supposed to be here in fifteen. You have the Trigger?”
“Right here. Let’s see how many we can hit with this, huh?”
“Yeah, watch ‘em coppers and heroes rip each other apart.”
Fuck. Of course it was Trigger. He’d just been planning on making a fool of the police department and heading home to bed, but now he had to deal with drug traffickers.
Shouta looked around for anything he could use. He had fourteen knives, plus an emergency extra in his boot. He had his phone—no, he left that at home, so he couldn’t even try to call the hero/police group to warn them. Fuck! He had his eyedrops, the mask on his face, one very old cough drop from the bottom of his pocket, and one of Hizashi’s combs.
Hizashi. Hizashi was going to be a part of the sting. That meant Hizashi was here, and he was going to get hit by the Trigger.
Let it never be said that Aizawa Shouta was not protective of his loved ones.
He jumped off of the wall, catching himself on silent feet so he didn’t draw the attention of the men below. Then he slipped out of the warehouse through the door he knew his husband would be positioned at.
“You need to call off the sting,” Shouta said, the mask giving his voice a timbre he never had naturally. “They know you’re coming, and they have Trigger.”
Hizashi, having jumped at the sudden appearance, now only looked unamused. “If you think that’s going to get you out of here without being caught, let me tell you that lying isn’t very becoming of you.”
“I’m not lying,” Shouta growled. “We’re all in danger here, and if we don’t get out now it’s going to get a whole hell of a lot worse.”
“We can get out of here as soon as you comply and come with us.” Hizashi had pulled quirk-canceling handcuffs out of his back pocket and was moving towards Shouta with them.
“I swear to God, ‘Zashi, if I’m lying then you can haul my ass to jail, but we have to get out of here now if any of us want to live long enough for that to happen.”
Hizashi, however, seemed to have stopped listening after the first couple words. “Shou?” He managed to get out, eyes wide and voice cracking.
Fuck.
“Fuck,” said Shouta. “This is… probably the worst time for me to have done that.”
Hizashi just stared.
Shouta stared back.
Then a lion’s roar bellowed around them.
“I think they got Sansa.”
The Fox’s Den
+ invite
#general
AllMight2974 Today at 9:24 PM
did you guys???? see what just happened???
jacksmellington Today at 9:24 PM
what
AllMight2974 Today at 9:25 PM
foxtrot and the musutafu police just took down a whole ass drug ring?????? apparently there was trigger involved idk there’s police tape everwhyre
jacksmellington Today at 9:25 PM
everwhyre
sleepycat Today at 9:25 PM
everwhyre
John Deere tractor Today at 9:25 PM
everwhyre
AllMight2974 Today at 9:25 PM
are y’all just gonna ignore the rest of that message
sleepycat Today at 9:26 PM
yea
“Shou, wh- I don’t even know what to say. What. Why?”
“Hmm,” said Shouta. “It’s a long story.”
“Good thing I’ve put you on house arrest for the next week, then.”
Shouta turned to glare at his husband, but quickly melted into him when Hizashi wrapped his arms around him. “Fine… well, you know how I really, really hate paperwork?”
Hizashi gasped. “Shou, did you really-”
Shouta gestured to the kitsune mask lying on the floor of their bedroom. “I did really-”
Hizashi pulled him closer into their cuddle and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you, even if you make dumb decisions sometimes…”
Shouta leaned back into the hug. “Love you too, ‘Zashi. G’night.”