Chapter Text
They were going to cross over. Soon. It wasn't going to be some great big show of sparks or jolts of pain. Reggie could tell it was going to be a quiet affair that took them away unexpectedly.
Reggie sat alone most nights, wondering what his unfinished business had been. The Orpheum, though only half a year ago, felt like several years. Stealing Willie's soul back from right under Caleb's nose was just a few weeks ago but it felt like months. On these lonely nights, Reggie mentally relived his afterlife, trying to pinpoint some milestone moment that could've been it. Other nights, he distracted himself playing softly with Alex and Luke, or tweaking songs with Luke, or pathetically failing to learn skating with Willie. Or sometimes he would wander around the house and just do small things here and there.
Once, he did Carlos' forgotten math homework for him. Julie had scolded him about cheating with Carlos, but that had only been for a second before she relayed how grateful Carlos was and how much he wished he could see Reggie and say it himself.
Part of Reggie wanted to voice his thoughts about crossing over. Another part of him hoped that if he didn't talk about it, it wouldn't be real.
And then, one day, Willie vanished. As expected and understandably so, Alex was inconsolable. Reggie made the mistake of offhandedly commenting that it wasn't so bad. Maybe they'd meet up again after they crossed over. It wasn't much longer, now.
Alex was furious first. How could Reggie say that it wasn't so bad? Alex was confused after that. What did Reggie mean with all that? Alex was concerned in the end. Did Reggie really think they were going to cross over?
It was a nice thought, Alex would later tell Reggie. That they could be together when they crossed over and that he would see Willie again. But that wasn't going to happen for a long time. Luke agreed. They were going to take Julie to stardom before they ever considered leaving.
Reggie thought about Julie almost every minute of the day. He figured they would be okay with whatever happened after they crossed over. What would happen to Julie? Would it take her long to figure out what happened? Would their absence turn her away from music again?
That thought alone had bothered Reggie so much that even Carlos noticed. Things were messy around the house. His computer was open on Spotify and the music was blasting into his headphones. No one was beating his messy room for him anymore. Luke decided to talk to Reggie. It all came out in a rush, how he was so afraid that when they crossed over, it would tear Julie apart. After he'd sat with Reggie and listened to everything bottled up, Luke promised to talk to Julie seriously -- and that serious talk happened to be today.
Reggie, who had been laying on the floor while all these thoughts bounced around in his head, sat up suddenly.
The studio was silent.
"Alex?"
Denial set in very quickly. Not now. He wasn't ready yet. He'd known it was coming for at least one month but he was far from prepared.
Alex had to be around somewhere, right? Reggie suddenly realised he was just hoping for a sign of where Alex was moments before he accidentally stepped onto Alex's drumsticks and landed on his back.
The drumsticks rolled across the floor, coming to a slow stop at the wheel of Willie's skateboard.
Sometimes my mom sends me signs, Julie had said once, and sometimes I don't get it until much later but sometimes it's just so clear what she's trying to tell me.
Reggie stared at the drumsticks and the skateboard. Couldn't get much clearer than that.
Suddenly, Reggie was struck with the horrifying thought that Luke had vanished mid-conversation with Julie.
Not thinking before he leapt, Reggie poofed into Julie's room.
"You're not allowed to do that," Julie said casually. "You know that."
"Sorry. Uh, do you know where Luke is?"
Julie shook her head. "He just left a few minutes ago. Said something about wanting to get some lyrics out of his head. Isn't he in the studio?"
Reggie lied very easily and believably. "Oh, I was just downstairs. I haven't checked the studio yet 'cause I thought I heard you talking to someone up here."
Reggie didn't know why he was lying to Julie. He didn't know what was worse. Telling her the truth or wishing he had later.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said with a chipper smile.
"Do you want a hug?"
Okay, so maybe he couldn't always lie well about everything. Reggie's nod was hesitant before it was quick.
Julie hopped off her bed and hung her arms loosely around Reggie. She let out a surprised yelp when Reggie wrapped his arms tightly around Julie.
"Someone's competing with Alex for best hug-giver."
Normally, Reggie would've laughed at that. But Alex was gone. Luke probably was too. Reggie would be gone soon too. He had to leave Julie's room. It would break her if she had to see it happen.
"Thanks, Julie."
Julie smiled brightly when Reggie pulled away. "Anytime. My hugs are free for all."
"You should get some sleep. W-we'll see you in the morning."
Why was he lying to her? He knew he'd be gone before she even fell asleep.
Maybe, if she thought they crossed over in the peace and quiet of the still night, she would feel better. Maybe, if she thought they crossed over while she slept, she would blame them for not waking her, not herself for not noticing.
"Fine. But not because you said to." Julie slid under her duvet and grinned at Reggie. She was mid-yawn before she realised. "I'll see you guys in the morning. Tell Alex and Luke I said good night."
"I will," Reggie said. And if he did happen to meet Alex and Luke, he would without a doubt deliver Julie's message. "I love you. We love you."
"Aww. I love you too, Reg."
Reggie left before he did or said something that would make Julie worry.
He meant to land in the studio. Instead, he found himself in the kitchen, his legs numb and a hollow emptiness in his chest.
"Reggie?"
Reggie looked up to see Carlos, backlit by the open fridge. "You should be in bed."
"You should be invisible."
"Uh . . . that's true."
Carlos kicked the fridge closed as he walked over to Reggie, quietly setting his glass on the island counter. "Are you okay? You look a bit sick. Can ghosts get sick? Is that a thing? Are there ghost doctors? Are they, like, special ghost doctors or just doctors that died?"
"That's too many questions at once, little man."
Carlos frowned. Reggie always answered every single question on the odd occasion that he could see and hear Reggie -- or even if Reggie was just chatting to him with Julie's phone. "Are you okay?" Carlos asked again, this time more serious and somehow even quieter than before.
"I will be." Another lie. He didn't know. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that Julie and Carlos didn't worry.
"What's wrong?"
Reggie wished he could hug Carlos like he had hugged Julie just a few minutes ago. "I, uh . . . I gotta go."
"Oh. Where are you going? You're gonna be back, though, right?"
"I don't know." The first truth Reggie had spoken all night. "But I won't come back."
"Wh-- . . . oh." Carlos glanced down at the floor.
"Hey," Reggie said, crouching down. Carlos was looking down at him now. "You're gonna be okay."
"But what about you? Are you gonna be okay?"
Reggie shrugged. "I hope so. Maybe I'll see you again when you're all old and wrinkly."
"Ha ha." Carlos' tone was sarcastic, but his smile was genuine. His eyes widened and a gasp caught in his throat when Reggie wiped away the tears he didn't even notice. Without stopping to question it, Carlos threw his arms around Reggie's shoulders and held tight. "Do you have to go?"
The fragility of Carlos' croaked question set alight a small but agonizing flame in Reggie's chest. "I have to," he murmured, holding Carlos gently. "Alex and Luke are probably waiting for me."
"I don't want you to go."
"I know."
Reggie's entire body, save for the burning yet soothing sparks in his chest, felt numb. He had to glance over Carlos' shoulder to make sure he still had his arms. He moved to pull back so he could leave -- Carlos didn't have to see whatever crossing over looked like -- but Carlos wouldn't let go.
Reggie figured he would've been able to break out of Carlos' hold on a normal day. But today wasn't normal, was it?
"I have to go," Reggie said.
Carlos pretended he didn't hear it. "You're the best brother in the world."
Finally, Carlos let Reggie move back, but Reggie didn't stand or poof out. Instead, he gave Carlos a smile and wiped Carlos' wet cheeks. "Nah. You are. You're gonna look after Julie for us, aren't you?"
Carlos nodded. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he could see through Reggie. He was just tired and needed to go to bed, right?
"Julie belongs with the stars," Reggie said. "Take her to the moon for me, okay?"
"I'll try," Carlos told the empty kitchen. "I promise."
And then he wrapped his arms around himself and sat down on the floor as his small shoulders shook silently.