Chapter Text
They promised each other undying love as they stood on the steps of the government citadel in front of a joyous crowd. Starscream remembered every detail like it was yesterday. The bejeweled golden crown perched on his helm, the silky, purple cape wrapped from his shoulders. Optimus, who just had a fresh paint job, was wearing a cape, too. Deep blue and flowing in the breeze. The ceremonial jewelry looped around his smokestacks and wrists glittered in the bright sunlight. Starscream couldn’t stop grinning, buzzing with excitement and barely listening to the bonding speech from the orator.
They were together at last. Their dream that once seemed so impossible, ridiculous even, was unfolding before them.
And then they watched their world die.
Bot after bot.
Until there was no one left.
Now, Starscream sits up in berth, venting hard. The nightmares come every night, but they’re more intense lately. Always about Optimus and the sparkling.
The sparkling.
Starscream instinctively reaches for his family, but only feels air.
Panicked again, he springs out of berth and bolts from the room, frantically searching the wide hallways of the lunar station.
“Optimus! Nova!” he yells, his spark pulsing in a chaotic rhythm. He’s already growing tired, his aches and pains giving him trouble.
The lights suddenly flicker and go out, plunging him into blackness. He feels his way along the wall, unable to even see his own pedes. Blasted generator. They recently worked all cycle trying to tune it up. Thankfully, the lights come on after a few astroseconds and Starscream breathes a sigh of relief.
“Optimus!” he shouts. “Where are you? You’d better not be pulling pranks.”
“We’re in here, Star,” comes Optimus’s weary voice from the monitoring room on the left.
Starscream hurries inside and finds his sparkmate slumped in a chair. The little seekerling sits in his lap, her blue optics staring wide at the flashing lights and instruments on the dashboard.
Starscream sits in the chair next to them, exventing slowly, wiping the coolant from his forehelm. He peers out the window at the barren, craggy surface of Moonbase One. Cybertron rises in the distance, horrible and lifeless.
He can’t stand to look at it.
“You should go back to sleep,” Optimus says gently. “Nova was fussing and I didn’t want her to wake you.”
“Well, I’m awake now.” Starscream pushes a button on the panel, dropping a thick metal blinder in front of the window.
“Bad dreams again?” Optimus asks.
Starscream nods, avoiding his gaze.
“Nothing embarrassing about it.” Optimus leans back in his chair. “I still struggle with them myself from time to time.”
Starscream has been wracked with nightmares since the beginning, often so severe that he recharges in a different room to avoid disturbing the others. The sleeping aids and strut relaxers they found in the medical bay when they first arrived were long gone. Starscream would give anything for Ratchet to be here. Or anyone, really.
But everyone is gone, their corpses weathering down across Cybertron and the unlucky colonies. Starscream and Optimus were the only ones who escaped the cataclysm. (Well, Megatron, too, but he was set to stay in stasis for millennia, as decreed by the new council following after the war, and neither of them have any intention of releasing him). Optimus wonders if their survival has something to do with their spark bond and the Matrix. Some type of protection. They’ll never know for sure.
“Energon stores are running low. Nothing serious, but it’s been a while since we made an extraction run,” Optimus says. Nova is grabbing at his servo, searching for something exciting to play with.
“Hmm.” Starscream is only half listening, his mind drifting to the research he was pouring over last cycle. There must be some way to revive Vector Sigma. He’ll find a way.
“Starscream," Optimus says, finally getting to the point. “Maybe it's time to fix the ship. Think about leaving. We’ve stayed on this miserable rock long enough.”
“But Cybertron—“
“Is dead.” Optimus reaches out and takes Starscream’s servo in an attempt at comfort. “There’s no life. It’s gone.”
“I need to fix it!” Starscream knows it’s a fruitless endeavor deep down, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t keep trying. If only to bring himself a little bit of peace. Absolve him from the crushing guilt.
“There’s nothing you can do. It’s not even your fault to begin with.”
Oh, but it is.
Starscream’s stormy thoughts are interrupted when Nova reaches out to him. She smiles wide and kicks her stubby legs, her small wings fluttering. He takes the happy sparkling from Optimus and kisses her helm.
She wasn’t supposed to happen. The new spark came as a surprise to both of them after a few solar cycles into their new life spent holed up on the moon. It was a long carrying period, full of complication after complication, made worse by the rationing of energon. Starscream barely survived. And still his spark is weak, like his life energy has been sucked out of him.
Despite everything, Nova is one of the only bright spots in his life now. But he often wonders what kind of life he’s giving her. Growing up in a cold, empty place on an empty rock with no chance of a future.
There’s no future for any of them. And it’s all because of him.
But no one knows that.
Not yet.
Starscream’s spark aches when he thinks of what Optimus will say if he ever discovers the truth. Will he even want to look at him again? Will he take Nova and leave him behind out of disgust?
“Let’s talk about something more cheery.” Optimus is giving Starscream a concerned look. “Should we go out to the crater again? Nova had fun last time.”
Starscream bounces the sparkling on his leg. Her laughter feels so out of place in his dismal place, but it warms him a little bit. “You two can go ahead. I’m going to Cybertron.”
Optimus rubs his optics, sighing. “Without the activation key, there’s nothing more you can do. Why do you insist on torturing yourself like this?”
“There has to be a way to build a new one. That’s what I’m working on. I just need more time to analyze things.”
The idea to reconstruct the key that was destroyed in the Second Decepticon Uprising came to him a little less than a solar cycle ago, a jolt that partially brought him out of his self-hating misery and gave him something to work on.
“If we could just find a new place...” Optimus tries.
“Where, on Earth? Where they banned Cybertronians?”
“Alright,” Optimus says wearily. He hesitates, then continues, “ I was the Prime. The protector. And yet I failed every Cybertronian because of my incompetence to contain things the moment Shockwave came out of hiding. It all got out of hand so quickly.”
Starscream has heard him say this many times before, but he listens all the same.
“But I’ve learned to accept it now,” Optimus says. “I’ve learned that holding onto regret was killing me...and there’s nothing we can do about Cybertron. But perhaps we can finally start a better life somewhere else. For Nova’s sake.”
Starscream abruptly stands up, handing Nova to Optimus. “I’m leaving.” He holds the sparkling’s servo when she immediately starts whimpering. “Hey, it’s okay. Everything will be alright.”
* * *
Soaring over Cybertron against the beautiful rosy sky while death and rot lies beneath is always a surreal experience. The once glamorous metal buildings have lost their luster, dim and rusted from wind and acid rain. Chills race through his frame when he thinks of all the bots still down there in the labyrinthine cities, their frames gray, their optics black and vacant.
He suddenly sees flashes of Skywarp and Thundercracker. The way the disease tore through their systems, boiling the energon in their fuel lines from the inside out and killing them in a matter of cycles.
Starscream flies faster, diving down into the heart of Iacon and not slowing until he alights at Vector Sigma. He switches on the lights and hurries down the hallway to his lab, pleased that his solar generator here is still functioning properly, too. Mining and refining energon for power was far too much work for two bots, so they have to rely on other methods.
He sits down at his console, taking time to regain his strength. The flight took a lot out of him, but he presses onward and he gets to work, his mood lifting instantly as he pulls up his data, scanning the historical records he pilfered from the Iaconian archives the last time he was on Cybertron.
“Quintesson technology...it has to be logged somewhere,” he mutters to himself. If only he can crack the code, discover a way to rebuild the damn key. It’s so far beyond his capabilities. If only Skyfire was alive. Or Perceptor, as much as the Autobot irked him.
“Who’s there?” a voice calls.
Starscream nearly jumps out of his plating, whipping around to stare wide-opticed at the open door. He knows that voice, but it can’t be! Perhaps the sleep deprivation is catching up to him. Yes, that’s it.
But the voice calls out again, the sound of pedesteps growing closer and closer.
Starscream leaps out of his seat and holds out his null-rays just as a very familiar silver mech emerges in the doorway.
“You!” Starscream is simultaneously shocked and enraged. Out of all the miserable wretches to survive. The backup power for his stasis pod must’ve finally ran out or some other blasted malfunction released him.
Megatron stares at him in disbelief. “Starscream?” He looks almost relieved to see him, which is a first. “What in the name of Primus is going on? I came out of stasis and everyone--” He trails off and leans against the wall, shaking his helm. “I’ve been here for a few cycles.”
As he studies his former leader, Starscream keeps his weapons aimed directly at Megatron’s chest. The old mech is a complete mess, banged up and dirty. Looks like he barely has enough fuel in his system to stay upright. There’s a large blaster rifle strapped to his back.
Starscream scowls, preparing himself for a fight. “The plague took Skywarp. Thundercracker. Soundwave. Nearly everyone I cared about. Yet you’re here.”
For once, Starscream sees fear in Megatron’s scarlet optics.
“You remember it, don’t you?” Starscream hisses. “You remember what you made me do.”
It happened near the beginning of the war. He remembers every klik of the unpleasant ordeal. Megatron had a twisted desire for a backup weapon, a ‘last resort’ that he claimed would wipe out every Autobot if the time came. And Starscream, who’d specialized in chemistry and cyberbiology among other things, was to create it for him alongside Shockwave. Or you may find your trine falling victim to a terrible accident , Megatron said when he saw hesitation in his second-in-command.
It worked, of course. Tested on unfortunate Autobot prisoners in a special lab. But none of the antidotes did, no matter how hard they tried. The project was terminated, the specimens destroyed. The data, however, would live forever thanks to Shockwave disobeying Megatron’s order to destroy it. Something they only found out existed once it was too late.
“Cybertron was finally at peace.” Starscream advances on Megatron, who stands still, his expression unreadable. “We were leading everyone into a good future, righting all of our wrongs. And then Shockwave and his followers came out of hiding. Revived your movement. Your vile plans. Thought they could control it this time.” He lets out a bitter laugh.
Still, Megatron remains silent.
“Say something, you fool!” Starscream shouts, anger rising in him.
“I—have nothing to say.” Megatron stares unflinchingly at him, but it seems like it’s taking a great deal of effort. “If I could undo millions of years worth of damage, I would do it in a sparkbeat. But it’s too late for that now, isn’t it.”
Starscream can barely control the rage burning in him now. “Our planet...our people...gone forever. Because of you ,” he says. “Because of me.”
“You’re the only one left?” Megatron’s voice quavers.
Starscream doesn’t know why the frag he’s divulging his personal life, but he finds himself saying, “No. Optimus Prime is alive and well. And so is our sparkling.”
Surprise crosses Megatron’s face. He manages a small smile. “And so you found happiness after all the war.” There’s no malice in his voice. No mockery.
“We all did. For a while.”
Megatron’s gaze turns to the floor for a moment, then back to Starscream. “Do it,” he says softly.
The temptation is so overwhelming. If he does, Starscream will live with yet another secret for the rest of his life, knowing that Optimus’s disappointment in him will be indescribable if he ever finds out. Optimus, who trusts Starscream more than anyone now. Who overlooked his past and gave him a shot at redemption after the war.
But he’ll never know. The secrets stay here.
Starscream struggles to keep his arm steady as he aims at Megatron. He doesn’t even care about the dampness on his cheeks. The weakness he’s showing.
And then...a flash of light.
The thud of a heavy chassis falling over.
And just like that it’s over.
Starscream stumbles forward and falls to his knees next to Megatron, placing a shaking servo over the smoking hole in his chest, staring into sightless optics as they scintillate from the glow of fluorescent light. There’s no vindication, only a terrible hollowness.
When he finally composes himself, he fires at the console, watching it go up in smoke.
* * *
Back home, he falls into Optimus’s arms, clinging to him like a lifeline. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, he wants to say, but can only stand there while Optimus hugs him tight, telling him that it’s alright.
When they finally part, Starscream takes a shaky vent and says, “It’s time to leave, I think.” He glances down at Nova, who’s sitting on the ground amidst a pile of metal blocks and stacking them into a tower. “Cybertron is gone.”
Optimus nods, his optics filled with relief. “Things will get better. I know it.”
Together, they get to work tuning up the ship, eager to leave the nightmare behind at last.
Cycles later, as they load up for the journey into the starry abyss, Starscream takes a final look at their beloved planet. Cybertron will haunt his dreams until the cycle he dies.