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Lance’s heart is gonna beat right out of his chest. God, am I actually considering this? He thinks. But it’s not really a question:
Yes. Yes, he is.
Because he’s been in love with Keith Kogane for seven years, and it’s high time he actually did something about it.
Still. His nerves are… overpowering.
He fidgets despite himself, unable to stay in one position with his heart kicking up such a racket in his chest. He should relax, lay back and stay there next to Keith on Keith’s bed, but he can’t: the fluttering in his stomach keeps him restless.
He tries crossing his ankles. Uncrossing them. He shimmies up the pillow, then back down. He even tries snuggling up on his side, resting his head against Keith’s shoulder and basking in the soft grin Keith gives him. But that’s no good, either.
Because like this he’s nuzzled up in the crook of Keith’s neck, can smell that comforting, familiar foresty scent, marvels at how easy it would be to just lean forward and press a kiss under the sharp edge of Keith’s jaw. It’s tempting, so tempting, and he actually catches himself tilting his head up to —
He rears backward.
No. He’s on a mission, okay? And with Keith’s dumb beautiful face right next to his, it’s getting dangerously hard to think. His emotions are going haywire, his foot jogging and pulse hammering and Keith turns to look at him like he knows something’s wrong—
Lance needs air.
He sits up, shakes his head to clear all the annoying overlapping thoughts from it, and ends up staring daggers down at his lap, brow scrunched in determination. He’s got it all planned out, he can do this. He’s gonna kiss Keith — on the mouth, not anywhere else, so that stupid mullet brain will actually clue in to Lance’s feelings — and it’s maybe hopefully gonna be exactly like all those TikToks he’s watched. And Keith’ll pull him close and kiss him back and reveal a crush just as dizzying and overwhelming and all encompassing as Lance’s own.
… Or. Maybe that’s not what’s gonna happen.
Maybe he’ll recoil before Lance even gets the chance, face contorting in disgust. Those thick brows of his will furrow in anger and he’ll turn the brunt of his fuck you voice — the one he uses on bullies and assholes like the guy who shoved Lance on the bleachers last homecoming — on Lance.
“The fuck are you doing?!” He’d demand, shoulders squared, voice dark with ire. “Why’d you think that was okay?”
And normally Lance loves that voice, how it shows Keith cares so much about their friends — about him — as to want to fight on their behalf. Normally the deep, commanding tone is a shield that keeps Lance and the other people lucky enough to have Keith’s affection safe from harm. Normally any fear or anger Lance has from the situation is cleared away as Keith wraps him carefully in his arms afterward, making sure he’s okay.
Lance isn’t sure he’d be strong enough to withstand that voice being used against him.
In fact, he’s pretty sure his heart would crack into a million pieces if he made Keith so uncomfortable and upset as to have to use it on him in the first place.
His thoughts spin dangerously, spiraling into a pit of worst case scenarios. Because maybe that’s not all. Maybe Keith would go further .
Maybe he’d be insulted, angry not at the kiss but at the fact that Lance was willing to risk their perfect friendship for the sake of something as dumb as romance (Lance has never once seen Keith do anything even vaguely romantic for anyone , besides the kind of gentlemanly things he does for Lance and their other friends). Maybe he’d be... disgusted at Lance seeing him that way.
Oh. Lance’s breath hitches.
Because maybe — maybe Keith would look at Lance with revulsion, call him gross and desperate and promiscuous the way some people at school did when Lance first came out as bi. After all, Lance remembers, an ugly pit in his stomach, Keith has never seemed happy when he’s tried going out with other people. Quite the opposite, actually. They were silly attempts to clear his mind of Keith which always, inevitably failed, dying out before they could progress past flings, but Lance remembers the stiff set of Keith’s shoulders and the harsh cast of his voice.
Maybe… maybe the vaguely murderous look on Keith’s face wasn’t just his stiffness around strangers, but thinly veiled disdain for Lance‘s presumed easiness. How appalled would Keith be to find that Lance had ever wanted a romantic relationship with him?
Fuck.
When he thinks about it this way, Lance is increasingly sure that this wasn’t his best idea. In fact, he’s pretty sure this was maybe the worst idea he’s ever had in his life, and maybe he should just scrap the whole—
“Lance,” Keith says, snapping him out of the tailspin. “I can hear you thinking from here. You good?” His voice is gentle, concerned— endlessly accommodating, the way it always is when Lance expresses even the tiniest bit of annoyance or discomfort or distress.
Right, Lance thinks, exhaling. This is Keith. Keith would never do that . He relaxes and nods. “Yeah. Just—“ he shakes his head. “—got caught up thinking about something.”
Keith’s concerned gaze searches Lance’s eyes, looking for any sign of anxiety that he can soothe. He must find nothing, because he flashes a soft grin and pats the bed next to him. “C’mon then, we gonna finish this movie or what?”
Lance breathes again to calm himself. He musters a smile.
“You bet, samurai,” he says, and snuggles back down, tucking himself under Keith’s arm and turning to watch the tv again. He wraps an arm around Keith’s waist as Keith presses play on the remote, feeling the warm line of Keith’s body against his as he cuddles close. They don’t need words; proximity is comforting enough.
And just like that, the destructive thoughts trickle out of Lance’s mind, chased away by the sturdy hold of Keith’s arms around him.
It’s comforting— Keith is comforting. He’s like an oasis in a world that’s sometimes too demanding for Lance’s people pleaser attitude. When Lance isn’t able to keep up his sunshine front for everyone else, Keith’s there, unconditionally, ready to hold him when he breaks down.
It’s really no surprise that Lance is in love with him.
Not when Keith is everything good in a person. He’s a bundle of contradictions; intriguing from the outside and even more wonderful once you get to know him. He’s a little socially awkward, but so impossibly loyal to his friends, his chosen family. His intimidating scowl dissolves into the sweetest smiles, the most considerate little ways to show he cares, because that’s the way Keith loves: with actions, not words.
Lance is sure Keith would go to space and back for Shiro, Allura, Pidge... for Lance , too. Lance trusts him with his life. And it’s just as amazing to see that trust returned.
There’s something so special about seeing the softer, more vulnerable side of Keith that no one else gets to see. To see tough, steadfast Keith let his walls down and reveal the emotions he normally keeps under lock and key. To be able to listen to Keith’s grief, his fears, his anger, and soothe it all away with hugs and soft words spoken just between the two of them.
Being Keith’s friend is the greatest privilege Lance could ever ask for. So he snuggles closer to Keith and banishes the rest of his thoughts, intent on just basking in his presence.
Maybe tomorrow, Lance thinks, circling the idea of revealing his feelings. I’ll just enjoy this for today.
And he does.
They spend long minutes cuddled up together, yelling at the tv and laughing at the dumb decisions the horror movie protagonists make. It’s good. Perfect. And all thought of confession stays firmly on the back burner.
Which is kinda the worst part: Lance doesn’t even try to do it. It just... happens.
There’s a line in the movie that brings to mind one of the inside jokes they have, and they both turn to look at each other and— oh.
Suddenly their faces are so, so close, noses brushing, breaths mingling. Lance inhales, lips parting in surprise. He doesn’t even think about it.
He just feels the ghost of Keith’s breath over his mouth—and he’s so, so in love —and he tilts forward to press their lips together.
It’s soft, sweet, quick. It lasts barely a couple seconds before Lance comes back to himself and pulls away, eyes wide and worried. His chest collapses in a whirlwind of indecipherable emotion— he just kissed Keith, he should be overjoyed. And he is. But he’s scared more than anything.
Keith’s eyes open. His face is slack, surprised. He looks… blindsided. Like he’s just witnessed the impossible. Like his whole life has been turned upside down.
“Lance," he breathes, and pulls Lance in again. His hand on Lance’s jaw angles his head up just right, and their lips slot together… oh. Perfectly .
Lance gasps, shuddering under the dopamine rush, feeling adrenaline course its electric way through his body. He’s a live wire, attuned to every sensation, melting into the kiss and letting Keith deepen it. He lays a hand on Keith’s chest and feels his heart beat a galloping rhythm under his hand.
Their lips part and Lance’s brain is slowly starting to catch up, a dizzying warmth spreading from the center of him as he catches his breath. Kissing Keith is… addictive. It seems suddenly impossible, that Lance had lived before without knowing the perfect way they fit together. He instantly chases the feeling, bringing them into another kiss.
Keith reacts instantly, pulling Lance even closer, hoisting him into his lap with ease and keeping their lips locked together. He sits up to deepen the kiss and settles a hand on Lance’s hip, holding him close. As if Lance might run away, might disappear from his arms.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Lance goes willingly; he’d do anything for Keith. Anything.
Especially if Keith will just keep kissing him like that. He threads his fingers through Keith’s hair and pours every ounce of pent up longing into the kiss, years and years of it.
He’s completely and utterly breathless when they finally part.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, chest heaving. “Oh my god. I’m not dreaming, am I?”
“Do you dream about kissing me?” Keith asks, something pleased, self satisfied, and impossibly fond in his eyes.
“Yes,” Lance says, like it’s obvious. He dares to meet Keith’s eyes, but his voice turns quiet. “I really like you, Keith,” he says sincerely, then exhales in disbelief. “Wow. I never— I never thought…”
“Don’t be silly, Lance,” Keith says, earnest and devoted. “I’m absolutely crazy about you.” He laughs, the warmest sound Lance’s ever heard. “I thought for sure you knew, with how protective I am over you.” Lance blushes, thinking of the thousands of times Keith has taken care of him, looked out for him, supported him. It does seem obvious, in hindsight. How could he be so stupid?
Something seems to click in Keith’s head.
“Is that why you were so nervous earlier? Because you wanted to kiss me?” He asks softly, and Lance can only nod, too overjoyed — too stunned — for words. Keith hauls him into a bruising hug, tilting their heads together.
“Baby,” he says, the sound strained like he can’t believe it. “God, you’re so fuckin’ cute.” His hands stroke over Lance’s back and Lance does the same, arms wrapping around Keith and holding him so tight.
Keith called me baby, he thinks, and his heart promptly gives out.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been wanting to kiss you?” Keith asks, voice ragged. When Lance shakes his head wordlessly, he continues, speaking the words in a kiss against Lance’s cheekbone.
“Forever, Lance.” His hand gently cups Lance’s chin and tilts it up so their mouths are aligned again. And Lance glows with happiness.
Keith brushes the words against his mouth like a breath of relief, like a vow.
“Forever.”