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“Oh, isn’t this rich?” Lena sneered, her previous shock at seeing Kara activating Myriad slowly overturned by her unresolved anger, “The great Supergirl believing herself to be better than everyone else: I thought Myriad was too dangerous for anyone to use?” Her remarks were dripping with malice and Kara swore she could feel her stare burning into her turned back.
Huh, maybe she wasn’t the only one with heat vision.
Kara shook the straying thoughts aside - this was no time for bitter humour. She allowed for Lena’s frustrated breathing to filter into the back of her mind, her focus primarily directed onto the flashing Kryptonian letters before her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she fought to recall any important knowledge about the uses of Myriad, that of which she gained from both listening to her Aunt’s and Non’s ravings, or the projection of her father’s hologram (she was really hoping she didn’t have to talk to it again, the thought of it’s empty stare sending shivers down her spine).
“What, cat got your tongue?” Kara bristled at the sarcasm drenching Lena’s tone. She couldn’t concentrate on trying to reprogram myriad with Lena constantly trying to get a rise from her - a fact she knew Lena understood.
“There are people missing - dozens - trapped in the virtual reality crated by Obsidian lenses, I have to find them.” Kara briefly turned around, her eyes catching the Luthor’s frame for the first time she she arrived in the fortress. She stood confidently, as if she owned the fortress instead of just having broken into it; but as their eyes met, Kara could tell there was something else hidden behind her guarded posture.
Anger - or perhaps, fear?
Kara questions went unanswered she she quickly broke the connection by turning back to the sunstone controls, quickly scanning over the text as she manipulated some of the code. However, the silence of Lena processing Kara’s statement was quickly outlived.
“There are others ways of finding missing people than Myriad - I can think of four off of the top of my head! But you -“ Lena was seething now, stepping forward and closing the distance between them, “- you do what you want.”
“What I’m doing, is finding people your brother disappeared!” Shocked flash across Lena’s face at Kara’s outburst, the directed anger another reminder to her about the Super’s promise a few nights ago. But; as quickly as the shock appeared, she shoved it down: allowing it to be boxed with the rest of her turmoil.
“Do you have any proof that it was Lex?” The Super’s hesitation was enough of an answer as any. “No, I didn’t think so,” she took another few steps forward, so that she stood directly in front of Supergirl’s face. “You just turned to your default position of blaming a Luthor. You did tell me you would treat me like a villain.”
“Yeah, if you acted like one . And right now, you’re trespassing and I don’t have time for this. You need to leave.”
“ I’ll leave when you stop using myriad. ”
That was the final straw for Kara. Throughout the past few months, even before crisis, her stress had been building to unimaginable levels. Lex Luthor, Leviathan, even Lena herself: everything that had been going on was too much. She’d been trying to keep everything under control, to make sure that to everyone else she was fine ( but she’s not - Rao knows she’s not ). She was Supergirl, for crying out loud! Supergirl can’t be stressed, Supergirl can’t feel sad, Supergirl. Can’t. Lose. Hope.
But, what about Kara?
What about the scared little girl who lost her planet; the traumatised teenager that was forced into a new world; the grown women who has lost everything, over, and over, and over again? Can she not feel stressed, can she not feel sad?
Supergirl is the Paragon of Hope, but Kara?
Kara struggles to find that light. Every. Single. Day.
It used to be easier. At first it was on Krypton: with her family, her culture - but that got taken. It took some time, but she re-found that hope with Alex. Alex was the reason she became Supergirl, the reason Kara became who she was today. Then Winn came, and James: and she had a team. And it took some time, but soon J’ohn and Lena (and even Cat), and she didn’t just have a team anymore:
She had a family.
... and then everyone left.
Winn went to live in the future, James returned back to his hometown, Cat was off only Rao knows where in the world. J’ohn was still around, but with him leaving the DEO and taking up the name of the Martian Manhunter more: there was less time to really talk (he was the only one in National City who could perhaps understand, both the loss of their species and the events of Crisis). Then Lena’s distancing after Kara failed to tell her her secret after so long (she knows it was a mistake, but couldn’t she be selfish for once?!). And the fact she’s working with Lex now, of all the people?
All that left her with was Alex - and Alex wasn’t enough anymore.
Lena must’ve noticed a change in the Super’s eyes, her brows furrowed as she took a hesitant step back. But, Kara wasn’t letting her leave this too easily. She took a stride forward, getting closer to Lena’s face than before. Her blue eyes practically glowing as they stared challengingly into Lena’s own. Even with Lena in heels, Kara towered over her by a small fraction (but, that was enough to make Lena feel suddenly small in comparison).
“Why?”
——
“ Why? ”
“W-what?” Lena shrunk further into herself, chills shooting up her spine at the Super’s bluntness. She mentally consoled herself, how could she stutter at a time like this? She shoved her fear into a box, she couldn’t be vulnerable around Supergirl ( not anymore, at least ).
When Lena looked into the Super’s eyes, she could tell something was... different. Kara Danvers’ eyes had been pools of the clearest waters, untouched by murky cruelty and glistening like crushed diamonds. They were soft, and warm, easily inviting Lena into a ( false ) sense of security. Supergirl’s eyes, however, were storms. Raging and powerful and destructive, but always held back. You could gaze into them and see the burning force of the Sun behind the thin walls that contained it.
But, the eyes she stared into now?
She didn’t know them.
They were still blue, yet she couldn’t decide whether they were the blue of a peaceful lake, or the blue of a choppy sea. Lena felt herself drawn in, as if the eyes held the answer to some form of question ( she didn’t know what, yet ). She felt stripped of all the walls that she had built, that as if in the few seconds since she’d failed to answer the other’s question properly: she had searched through all of her secrets and knew everything about her. They were inescapable.
They were whirlpools.
Lena wanted to keep staring into them, to ask all the questions that she knew the other held the answers for. She wanted to let herself drown in their alluring essence. But, the void into which she would’ve been dragged into scared her. Behind the swirling vortex of blue, held a dark void to which Lena couldn’t fathom the depths of. She could almost see the pool of starry blackness, beckoning her in with a timeless promise. With startling realisation, she knew that these eyes were neither Kara Danvers’ or Supergirl’s, but someone who she had refused to let herself be introduced to.
Kara Zor-El.
——————————
Kara was tired. Lena refused to listen to Supergirl; refused to listen to Kara Danvers. So, maybe this time, she’ll listen to a stranger.
“Who gave you the right to use Myriad?” Kara could see the flash of confusion in Lena’s schooled features, she started to open her mouth, probably to protest, but Kara wouldn’t let her start. “Who gave you the right to break into my fortress, to accuse me of using something you never owned the rights to? Better yet, who gave you the rights to steal that said thing when I invited you here under the presumption of mutual trust?” Kara took a breath, allowing herself a moment to steel her growing frustration and the burning behind the eyes that came with it. “Because I know it wasn’t me, Lena.”
“You don’t get to order me around-“
“When it comes to my property I do, Lena!” Her shout made Lena stumble backwards. Kara growled at herself under her breath, losing her composure was not on the list for this confrontation. Shouting never helped in a situation where she needs Lena to listen, it only serves to make her mind hide behind bitterness. She couldn’t allow for this to become another shouting match. She needed Lena to understand.
“Myriad is my property, this fortress is my property.” Her voice was calm and steady now, but remained cold and clear. Kara wouldn’t allow for herself to go soft on Lena now, to make any more excuses for her questionable actions. “It was created by my people - my Aunt - in an attempt to save our world,” Kara could see the pique in Lena’s interest, despite her best attempts to hide it. “It was designed to supplement a single idea into he minds of the population, a way for us all to unify and save our world,” Kara couldn’t help the emotion that started escaping through her voice, the prospect of sharing such a personal story with Lena felt freeing. “It failed. A guard was killed in their attempt to use it, and my Aunt, my Uncle, and all of their followers were sentenced to our highest maximum security prison -“ Kara took a shuddering breath, the next part was always difficult to get out. “- by my mother.”
Lena’s involuntarily gasp seemed to echo around the empty cavern of the fortress. Unconsciously it had seemed that she had taken a step back towards Kara, not as close as before, but close enough that Kara could easily wrap her arms around the shorter women’s body, the thought causing a deep wishfulness to seep into her bones.
“Why are you telling me this?” Lena’s question was but a whisper, quiet enough that another human would’ve struggled to hear it, but to Kara it was clear as day. It was devoid of the previous anger, consisting of only innocent curiosity, and Kara smiled to herself.
“Because there is nothing holding me back from telling you now.“
——
Lena’s breath shuddered. This is what she wanted, for her entire life, all she ever wanted was the truth - pure, unrestrained truth. And now, Kara was giving it to her. No more secrets, no more lies, no more masks. This was simply Kara, giving her the freedom from behind her walls that she had been unconsciously searching for her whole life.
Tears started to form in Lena’s eyes, the emotions that she had kept hidden since the day of Lex’s reveal all came flowing out like a torrent bursting through a dam - a dam she had built for her own supposed security. Now, Lena realised, the walls never protected her: only kept her from living a real life.
Her breath quickening as she struggled to hold back the tears, the attempt a final cling to her once cold composure. She always found it easier to hold onto the anger. But, one look into Kara’s open eyes sent Lena tumbling over the edge.
“I’m sorry -“ a large gasp for air interrupted her, “- I’m so sorry, please, I’m sorry.” A mix of sobs and whispered pleas wrecked through her body. Each word a prayer for forgiveness. Her arms had wrapped themselves around her midsection and her head had bowed, her subconscious desire to shrink into herself causing her to break the eye contact with Kara. She couldn’t bear to see whatever emotions played across the other’s face: anger at her previous actions, disgust at her messy breakdown?
As her thoughts were spiralling, hands had grasped her arms, slowly pulling them apart with the most feather-light of touches. Once they had flopped to Lena’s side, her exhaustion evident as she failed to pick them up again, the hands moved up to her face and carefully cupped it. Gently, Lena’s head was lifted by Kara so that she could see her face.
Lena gasped. Upon Kara’s face was the softest smile that Lena had ever seen. No hatred, anger, disgust - just soft love. Another sob wracked Lena’s frame and Kara’s thumbs moved to wipe away the falling tears. The caress causing Lena to push her face further into the hands, desperate to feel more of their radiating warmth.
Kara replied by leaning her own head down to rest her forehead against Lena’s. The action bringing them to the closest they had ever been, even before the reveal.
“I won’t pretend that everything is perfect again, because we both know it’s not,” Kara’s voice was quiet and smooth, but held a strength that Lena could identify with the other’s super persona, “but, we will be. We’ll work on it, together. El mayarah.” Lena’s lips curved into a gentle smile after hearing the Kryptonian words flow from Kara’s lips, from studying Lex’s journals she understood the meaning behind those simple words.
Stronger together.