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Admin sighed as he hid himself in the tree. The hermits had gathered in front of iTrade, as asked. Iskall wasn’t anywhere to be seen, though Admin expected that. ‘Showtime…’ He jumped down and walked past the shocked and confused group, flying up and standing on the roof of iTrade.
“Hermitcraft members! I am Admin. Grian has… unfortunately passed and has been unable to respawn. Xisuma merged their coding together until he can fix the issue!” He jumped down and was almost immediately surrounded by the other hermits.
He backed away and flapped his massive wings, sending everyone tumbling down. “Okay, sorry! But, I tried. Xisuma fell asleep and woke up to Grian being dead. A glitch stopped him from respawning and… Well, Xisuma blames himself a lot. I blame myself.”
Admin sighed and felt tears prick at the edges of his eyes. The hermits all looked so distraught; all of them were mourning and shocked. He had caused this. He had fallen asleep! He let Grian die! He… “I’m so sorry…” Admin was crying again.
“I’m so so sorry! I let him die! I let him die while I slept!” He looked at everyone through tear blurred eyes and spread his wings, taking off towards the sky. He heard someone call after him but didn’t dare look back. He didn’t want to return.
Admin sat in a treehouse he had built. Building eased his mind and he assumed that was the Grian part of him. Speaking of the builder… Grian seemed to only come through when it came to emotions while Xisuma spoke the most. “Oh, Grian. Just… say something?” He closed his eyes, trying to pick up on some part of the builder that wasn’t emotions. Just… some hint of Grian’s usual charm.
Nothing. Grian was still hidden away, left only to make Admin overthink and cry easily. “You’ve always been so over emotional…” Admin chuckled out.
He laid back to watch the stars, wings spread fully and the wind blowing through them. “…Why are you quiet, Grian? I can’t be the only one speaking. I… I don’t even know why you’re so…. Hidden away. Am I too much? Is this all overwhelming?”
He went to rub his forehead but found tears on his cheeks again. “Dammit. Again? I… guess I can’t blame Xisuma or Grian. I’m depressed. I’m confused. And… I wanted this to end differently. I never wanted you to die…”
Admin grew silent. It didn’t help to talk to himself. Well, to the parts of himself. He cursed himself for not having the parts of his two halves he liked. He loved Grian’s creativity and new ideas. He loved Xisuma’s occasional mental lapses and his quirky nature. Yet, he got Xisuma in control of everything but intense emotions.
Admin opened his eyes and saw the sky darkening. ‘Must be about to rain…’ He watched the clouds roll by, tracing out each shape and shadow with his eyes. The humidity in the air slowly increased as the clouds got heavier and heavier. Admin couldn’t help but to feel some sense of humor at the irony.
He had a storm rolling inside of him that pressed on his chest and got heavier with each moment he thought about it. The world had a storm rolling outside that pressed on the air and got heavier with each moment that passed. It was an ironic beauty.
The rain began to fall and soak Admin, who just let it. He could go to a roofed section of his treehouse but… He was tired. He wanted to sleep and let the days just roll by while he was alone. Despite being part Grian, it was only Xisuma who spoke consciously, thus making Admin feel like he was always on his own. No one could understand what this way like, for it never happened before.
“Get the hell out of the rain before you get sick!” Admin sat. That had been Grian. Grian was speaking… Grian also wanted him to go inside; he did so, glad his treehouse could accommodate his height. “Grian? Thanks. I needed to have you speak.”