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It had been about a week since Gabriel had come home with a baby. No reason why, no ‘Sam I want a kid’. Just...a baby. Sam had nothing against babies, of course. And he was justified in asking whether or not Gabriel had stolen the kid. And then doing the salt/silver/holy water test. Well, Gabriel had balked at him poking the kid with a silver knife. She didn’t seem to react when Sam put the knife near her, so he left it at that.
But then Gabriel disappeared. He went off to God-knows-where and left Sam to look after the baby. Yeah, sure he had left food and diapers and stuff, but Sam had no idea how to look after a baby. The only thing he did know was that he was going to let Gabriel have it once he got back.
Sam was just beginning to get used to Abby (as he referred to her) when things finally came crashing down. She started crying sometime late in the evening and hadn’t stopped. Sam was reaching his breaking point. Gabriel had popped out of nowhere with a baby in tow, dumped her on Sam and then disappeared, and now she was screaming bloody murder. Jesus, the neighbours were going to think he was a child abuser or something.
Sam had tried rocking her back to sleep, which worked for about a minute before she started crying again. Sam had no experience with babies; he had no idea what to do. And then an idea popped into his mind. Sam froze for a moment; there was no way it could possibly work, but it was worth a shot.
He opened his laptop and did a quick Google search. It wasn’t necessary, but Sam wanted to pretend for a second that he hadn’t memorized the lyrics by the time he was six, wanted to pretend that this was his own memory instead of the result of hours of questioning Dean, wanted to pretend that he was just carrying on a family thing.
Sam leaned over the crib and stroked Abby’s cheek. She stopped crying for a moment and looked up at him. Her eyes were the same shade of hazel as Gabriel’s. Sam took advantage of the silence.
“I never knew my mom,” he said quickly. “She died when I was six months old. I always asked Dean for stories about her, you know. He barely remembered her himself, but he never said no to me. And there was this song she always sang to us, he said.” He stopped and looked down at Abby.
“What am I doing? You can’t even understand me.” Abby waved her arms at Sam impatiently. Sam couldn’t help but smile in return and he reached into the crib. Abby grabbed one of his fingers, squeezing it with her tiny hand.
“Okay, you got me,” Sam said. Abby’s lip quivered and it looked like she was about to cry again. Sam steeled himself and took a deep breath.
“Hey Jude,” he sang, his voice soft. And no, his voice most definitely did not just crack. “Don’t make it bad…take a sad song and make it better…” And then Sam was singing and it was working because Abby wasn’t crying anymore and holy shit he couldn’t believe he was actually doing this.
“Remember to let her into your heart…and you can-can-” Sam drew in a shuddering breath. He couldn’t do it, not like this. He couldn’t carry on. He didn’t know how to be a father; he could barely look after himself.
“Remember to let her into your heart…and you can start…to make it…better…” Sam turned. Gabriel was standing in the doorway, arms crossed. He was singing and his voice was low and deep and-fuck- he was way better at this than Sam.
Gabriel kept singing and Abby’s grip on Sam’s finger loosened. Her eyes closed and Sam stepped back. He pressed his back against the wall, sliding to the floor and putting his face in his hands. He could feel his heart wrenching. This…this was too much.
Sam didn’t know how much time passed, but Gabriel finished the entire song, his voice trailing off at the end. He walked over to the crib, making sure Abby was asleep. He then went over to Sam, sitting down next to him.
“Hey, Sammy.” Sam turned away. Gabriel put one hand on his cheek and pulled him around. Sam blinked away a few tears, drawing his sleeve over his eyes.
“Where the hell were you?” Gabriel gave Sam a sad smile. Sam looked away, not able to make eye-contact. Gabriel lifted his other hand, smoothing Sam’s hair back behind his ears.
“It’s okay, Sammy. I’m back now.” Gabriel pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead. The hunter clutched at Gabriel’s jacket.
“We’ll talk later.” Gabriel laughed softly. Sam looked almost pained. “I can’t do this. I can’t look after a kid.”
“We’ll work it out, kiddo, I promise.” Sam bit his lip and nodded slowly. He rested his head on the archangel’s shoulder.
“Hey, Gabe?” Sam asked after a while. Gabriel looked down at Sam.
“Yeah, Sammy?”
“Could you do something for me?”
“Something like what?” Sam raised his head. He pressed his forehead to Gabriel’s for a moment before moving to whisper in his ear. The archangel’s eyes widened, and then he laughed softly.
“Sure thing, kiddo.” Sam put his head back on Gabriel’s shoulder. The archangel leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. His hand found Sam’s, intertwining their fingers. And then he began to sing.
“Hey Jude…”