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Rapunzel still has nightmares, and who can blame her, really? After all, she spent most of her years locked in a tower in the clutches of a monster without knowing it, she’s watched her life fall to ruins only to be replaced by something else entirely. She’s watched the people she loves - her friends, her family - risk their lives for her over and over, and watched a boy she once called friend turn cruel and bitter and deadly. And, yes, Eugene is alive, but there was a time when he wasn’t, a time when he was dying, and the memory of it happening doesn’t just fade away because everything’s okay now.
So Rapunzel still has nightmares, but she keeps that little titbit of information to herself. At first, she didn’t; at first, she’d tell Eugene, who’d look at her with sympathy and hold her tight and mutter sweet nothings when she cried and listen patiently when she talked. Later, she’d tell Cass, who’d grip her by the shoulders and hold her at arm’s length and make sure she knew for certain that no one was going anywhere and that they’d never let anything happen to her, either, before pulling her close and letting her fall asleep to the sound of her heart.
And Rapunzel didn’t have nightmares when she was with Cass; Cass was warm and safe and so present that it was impossible to believe that she - or anyone - could ever be gone. There’s just something about the way her best friend holds her that allows her to fall asleep with a smile on her face and dream about nothingness that she doesn’t think she’d be able to find anywhere else. Of course, there’s always Eugene, but he’s not allowed to share her bed and, besides, Cass is just so much softer to cuddle even despite all her toned muscles.
But the nightmares come back when Cass leaves, and she always has to leave eventually. Rapunzel knows she needs her space, knows Cass can’t be around other people all the time without practically going insane, knows that she’s probably disturbing the other girl’s rest by making her stay the night, and she feels guilty for it. Instead, she tells Cass that the nightmares aren’t as frequent now and that she can manage on her own and she can see the worry and the tension leave the handmaid's face and she looks so much happier knowing Rapunzel is alright that Rapunzel vows to herself not to burden her like this again.
She stops telling Eugene about them as well, because she knows that if Cass is worried then he must be, too. They both care for her so much that she can hardly believe it some days, and she hates knowing that she’s causing them to worry. She knows it’s a weight off their minds when they think she’s okay and so that’s what she tells them she is; she’s okay, and they don’t need to know the truth.
Of course, they don’t quite believe her so much at first, Cass especially. Eugene still frets about her for all of a week before she finally properly convinces him, but Cass - Cass, who’d seemed so eager to accept that the nightmares had stopped - still looks at her like she knows she’s hiding something. And Rapunzel knows that this is because, unlike Eugene, Cass was the one sharing her bed every night, the one holding her close until she fell asleep, the one waking up in the middle of the night to muffled sobs. Cass knows how bad it was, and it takes every ounce of strength in Rapunzel to resist flinging herself into her friend’s arms and telling her the truth.
But, when she spends all day happy and smiling and having fun, it’s not too hard to believe that Rapunzel doesn’t have nightmares. There are no bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, and if there are it’s just because she stayed up late painting. She’s never low on energy, and if she is it’s because she’s just been so busy today, never tries to put off going to bed, and if she does it’s because they’re all just having so much fun right now that she doesn’t want it to end!
So they believe her, believe she’s okay, and even though this is exactly what she wanted, she’s still surprisingly hurt when they don’t realise that she isn’t. Even though she’s gone out of her way to reassure them that the nightmares are gone now, she still can’t help but feel they should know her well enough to know that they aren’t, to know that she still wakes up in a cold sweat with a scream caught in her throat. But she’s made her bed, and now she has to lie in it.
Lie in it, that is, until they decide to head out on the road to follow the black rocks.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rapunzel still has nightmares, and Cass hates herself for not noticing. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thinks that maybe she did, but she was just … she wanted to believe Rapunzel was okay, wanted her to be happy, so she ignored all the signs. She was taken in by her happy-go-lucky nature, the way she’d skip through the streets and pick flowers to braid into Eugene’s hair so they’d match, the way she’d do the same to her, too. She looked past all the times she’d gone to wake Rapunzel only to find her already up and dressed and painting with tiredness in her eyes but a smile on her face, looked past how reluctant she seemed to go to sleep, ignored all of it because she wanted to cling to the belief that the princess was alright.
But it’s clear now that she isn’t, clear in the way that she’ll always try to take on of the middle watches so she can never fall deep enough asleep for the nightmares to bother her, clear in the way the bags under her eyes grow more pronounced each night, clear in the way she insists she’s fine when she’s really, really not. She’s the last to fall asleep, the first to wake up, and will not, no matter how much they ask her to, take a nap during the day.
Often, Cass wonders if she should do something about it, should sit Rapunzel down and get her to talk about it, but every time she tries the princess brushes he off, says she’s okay, then avoids her worried gaze for the rest of the day. Sometimes she even snaps at Cass, hisses to be left alone and that she can take care of herself. She never shouts, but Cass knows that’s just because she doesn’t want to attract the attention of the others, to make them worry about her, too. And Cass has to stop pushing her on this, has to stop trying to force it out of her, because she knows all she’s doing is driving the other girl away from her, and that’s the last thing in the world that she wants.
So she backs off, lets Rapunzel have her space, hopes she’ll open up eventually by herself. She stops asking her to talk about it, stops asking her if she’s okay, stops telling her she looks tired. Instead, she makes sure that the princess gets the easier jobs on the adventure, makes sure she always has enough to eat and enough to keep her busy and entertained. When she looks tired, Cass makes her take over driving the wagon because the horses know where they’re going so all Rapunzel has to do is sit back and keep the reins in her hands. After all, if she’s refusing to sleep, the least she can do is relax .
And this seems to work for a while; Rapunzel probably knows exactly what she’s doing, but she doesn’t comment on it, and for that Cass is grateful - she doesn’t think she could handle her best friend being mad at her for this as well. But a lack of sleep can’t be fixed by anything but, well, sleep , so Cass is forced to watch as the younger girl grows more and more tired and withdrawn. When she sleeps now, she’s so exhausted that she falls so deep she doesn’t dream at all, and Cass starts to wonder if she’s deliberately sleep depriving herself so she can get some safe dreamless nights in.
One night, she asks Eugene about it, asks him if he knows what’s been going on, asks him how they can fix it and almost breaks down when she does because she can’t stand to see Rapunzel suffering like this anymore. He feels the same way, because of course he does, he’s her boyfriend , but he’s at as much of a loss as she is because he’s been trying all the same things and getting the same results. More than anything, this is what worries Cass; it’s one thing that Rapunzel won’t talk to her about what’s wrong, but it’s quite another that she won’t talk to Eugene .
That night, they both take first watch so they can talk about it, discuss what to do and how to do it. They sit side by side by the fire and watch as Rapunzel all but collapses into slumber and exchange nothing but worried glances until they’re sure she’s not going to wake up if they start whispering. It’s only then that they start planning, only then that they both admit that they’re completely at a loss as to how to help someone who clearly doesn’t want to be helped. They talk for most of the night, and sit in silent contemplation for the rest of it, and when the sun comes up again they’re no closer to a solution and completely exhausted.
That day, they’re both in a bad mood and low spirits from a combination of sleep-loss and frustration, and Rapunzel notices and, even despite her own condition - which is worse than theirs - is worried. She tries to talk to Eugene first, and Cass sees him try to reassure her, but then brush her off when she gets a little too insistent, and Cass is suddenly annoyed because where does Rapunzel get off telling them to open up when she’s refusing to? Why is it that she gets be concerned about their wellbeing but they get snapped at for reciprocating?
Cass silently seaths all morning and all through lunch, so by the time Rapunzel drifts over to her side when they start moving again she’s just about ready to explode. A cautious ‘Cass, are you okay? You look tired’ sparks a scoff and a ‘you’re one to talk’ and then they’re arguing because they’re both tired and grumpy and annoyed at one another and themselves. Rapunzel says Cass should try to open up and Cass says she doesn’t appreciate the hypocrisy. The princess tries to go on the defensive, tries to say again that nothing’s wrong, but Cass is vicious in her verbal attack, swatting aside Rapunzel’s excuses like they were flies, like she should have done before it got to this point.
Eventually, it turns into a shouting match, because they were trying to keep it quiet and civil but that plan went out the window the moment Cass got into her stride. She lays into Rapunzel like it’s her reason for living and, by the end of it, they both have tears in their eyes and Eugene is stepping between them, guiding Cass off round the other side of the wagon where she can’t see the princess and instructing her to calm down before going off to comfort Rapunzel.
Cass kicks a wheel when he leaves and swears under her breath, but the step away from the argument makes her look back on it with fresh eyes. She doesn’t regret anything she said, but she definitely shouldn’t have said it like she did. For a second, she’s sorrowful, and she sighs and hangs her head and kicks a stone, but then she’s just annoyed again because she knows she wouldn’t have yelled at Rapunzel if only the girl had opened up and told someone what was wrong!
When Eugene reappears at her side, having been told by Rapunzel to leave her alone, Cass is furious again. She sputters incoherently at him for a while in between bouts of making generally frustrated noises, and he just walks quietly alongside her and it’s just what she needs in the moment. Even when she eventually calms down, they still don’t talk, apart from where Cass says quietly ‘I know I shouldn’t have yelled at her like that’ and Eugene shrugs and says ‘I think it needed to happen’.
That evening, setting up camp is tense, eating dinner is tenser, and deciding who’s turn it is to take watch is excruciating. Rapunzel says it’s her turn, and Cass isn’t having any of it, and Eugene says they both clearly need sleep, and he does too, so it’s Lance and Shorty and Hookfoot’s turn. Neither girl is happy with this, but Rapunzel spits out a ‘fine’ and if the princess is going be sleeping then Cass won’t put up a fuss about doing the same.
They’re deafeningly silent as they set up their bedrolls, as close to the fire as they dare, and they refuse to look at each other as they all lie down to go to sleep. Cass knows she should say something, apologise for earlier, but she feels like she’ll just start another fight if she even thinks about speaking, so she decides it can wait until morning where at least one of them will be more well rested and level-headed.
It doesn’t, though, because of course it doesn’t. Eugene is asleep the moment his head hits his pillow, but Cass refuses to fall asleep until Rapunzel does. She knows enough about the princess to tell when this is just from the pattern of her breathing, which is why Cass is still awake hours later, even after Lance has fallen asleep on watch and the fire’s burned low.
“Rapunzel?” she says across the night, watching the girl flinch at the sound of her name, but she doesn’t roll over to face Cass.
Cass isn’t giving up, however, so she says is again, and this time is rewarded with a scowl and an ‘I was asleep’. She waves off the obvious lie, but launches into her apology before Rapunzel can protest it. Unlike earlier, she’s a lot calmer now, and Rapunzel just lets her talk, which is how Cass moves from apologising to explaining herself and her actions to expressing how worried she is. She says things she means but didn’t even know she felt, tells Rapunzel that she knows the nightmares are back and how it kills her that she can’t help, almost comes to tears when she admits her heart breaks a little every time she’s pushed away, but she blames that last one on being over emotional from lack of sleep.
She says all of this and more, and by then end of it Rapunzel’s in tears too, and then it’s her turn to apologise. She shrinks into herself as she does it, and she looks so small and tired that she only gets five sentences in before Cass can’t stand it anymore and gets up and walks over and holds her close and lets her cry into her chest. The handmaid sits and listens and rubs Rapunzel’s back as the girl sobbs out all the emotions she’s been hiding all this time, and her only thought is that she wishes they could have done this sooner.
Rapunzel confesses that the nightmares are back - and later chokes out that they never really left - but that she didn’t want to worry anyone, didn’t want to disturb Cass from her own rest to help with something she should be able to handle on her own. She says she’s miserable, that she’s always tired and that she hates it, but that she’s just so scared to go to sleep that she stays awake anyway. She says that, sometimes, she’s been so tired that the nightmares have been creeping into her real life, and Cass decides then and there that Rapunzel isn’t allowed to sleep on her own.
When she says this, though, Rapunzel looks panicked, and when Cass clarifies that it’ll only be herself and Eugene keeping her company, the princess looks her dead in the eye and makes her promise not to tell her boyfriend. Cass can tell Rapunzel doesn’t want Eugene to know for the same reason she didn’t want her to know, so she agrees for now, but says they’ll talk about it in the morning.
For now, they both need their sleep, so Cass drags her bedroll over and they both snuggle together. They fit together like they were made to, and Cass feels Rapunzel relax against her almost instantly, just as she used to back at the palace. A moment later, she’s asleep and smiling softly, and Cass sighs with relief and kisses her head and joins her in dreamland.
And, so, yes, Rapunzel still has nightmares, but they won’t bother her tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Eugene wakes up, one of the first things he sees is his girlfriend wrapped around her handmaid. It says quite a lot about his life, and his relationship, that he’s perfectly okay with this. More than okay, in fact - he’s ecstatic! Rapunzel getting all snuggly with the woman he swears must secretly be a giant snake wearing the skin of a mildly-attractive young lady means that they somehow managed to talk things out when he was asleep, and that Rapunzel will soon be back to her usually bubbly self.
Of course, he’s a little stung by the fact that Rapunzel would confide in Cass rather than him , but so long as she’s talking to someone , so long as everything’s going to be alright, he doesn’t mind. The thing he wants most in this world is Rapunzel to be happy and safe and loved, and if she needs to cuddle with what’s surely the coldest-blooded member of their little party except for the actual lizard , then he isn’t going to stop it. They’ve worried about her for far too long, and she’s surely kept her problems hidden from them for even longer, so it really is a relief to all involved that this - whatever it is - can finally be sorted out.
He smiles at them both as they sleep, noticing that Cass even looks slightly like she might be human when she’s not busy glaring daggers at him, then gets up to kick Lance awake and tell him off for falling asleep on watch. He wakes the others up as well and makes them help him pack up the camp, but he leaves his Blondie and her handmaid alone until the last possible moment.
His plan was to gently shake Rapunzel awake and let her deal with Cass, but when he goes to do just that he finds the snake-woman with her eyes wide open and it shocks him so much he yelps and crashes backwards into Lance.
“I don’t know how you can sleep next to that thing,” he says to Rapunzel later once they’re back on the move, and the girl smiles brighter than she has in days and lightly whacks him on the arm and tells him to be nice. Her happiness is the best thing he’s ever seen, so he takes another jab at Cass just to see how wide he can make his girlfriend grin and only stops when the woman herself materialises at his elbow and threatens him with her sword.
When she drifts off to take over driving the wagon from Shorty, Eugene tries to edge the conversation in the direction of the reason Rapunzel was sleeping with Cass anyway, but Rapunzel’s smile becomes sort of fixed and he can tell it’s a lie when she says ‘I just got cold’. Of course, he knows she still has nightmares, knows because he’s her boyfriend , knows because he cares , but he wants her to tell him anyway, wants her to feel like she can trust him with anything, which is why it hurts so much when she doesn’t.
But he doesn’t push her, doesn’t try to make her say it, doesn't tell her he knows what’s going on anyway. He knows she’ll come to him in time, knows that if she doesn’t then she’ll have a good reason for it, and, for now, he contents himself with the fact that at least Cass knows. And, though he may not be 100% fond of the woman, he can’t deny that she’s just as devoted to Rapunzel as he is, and that she’s most certainly more protective.
That night, Lance is put on watch again as punishment for falling asleep the night before even though they all know he’s not going to manage to stay awake, and the rest of them make themselves as comfortable as possible on the cold hard floor. Eugene lies down next to Rapunzel, who is also next to Cass, and the three of them talk for a little while about everything and nothing until Eugene falls asleep first. There’s no mention of Rapunzel’s nightmares, just idle chatter and playful ribbing and laughter that turns into snores.
When they all awake again, they’re smiling and happy and Rapunzel is curled into Cass and reaching for Eugene’s hand and they all just lie there for a while until the ground’s terribleness forces them all upright. Rapunzel still doesn’t say anything to her boyfriend about what’s bothering her, but Cass catches the look on Eugene’s face and rolls her eyes and drags the princess off for a chat and then Rapunzel’s sheepishly approaching him ten minutes later and pulling him to the back of the procession, behind the wagon and behind Shorty and the new stick he’s found that he thinks is his sister.
She tells him everything then, tells him all she told Cass two nights ago. She tells him that she still has nightmares and that she didn’t want to worry him, and he tells her that he was worried anyway and she says that she knows that but she wasn’t thinking straight. They reassure each other that it’s okay and they’re okay and Eugene makes Rapunzel promise not to tell anyone he got a bit teary during all of this because he has an image to uphold, dammit, and she giggles and agrees and they can both finally breathe at last.
Eugene didn’t just how much tension was in his body until it all melted away, didn’t realise how torn up inside he’d been until Rapunzel confided in him, didn’t realise the extent of his worrying until he didn’t have to any more. Well, okay, he was still a bit worried, but Rapunzel still had nightmares so of course he was going to be concerned. Still, he knew that the nightmares were at least a manageable issue, something that could be kept at bay by - here he had to suppress a shudder - cuddling with Cass, something that could quite possibly be worked through almost completely with the right kind of help.
So Rapunzel still had nightmares, but they could deal with it, they could help her through it. They’d be there for her until she didn’t need them anymore, and then they’d stick around afterwards anyway. Eugene didn’t know exactly how he could help at the moment, didn’t know if he should try to take over the cuddling from Cass seeing as he actually could now, or whether he should just be there as a shoulder for Rapunzel to lean on whenever she needed. Should he try to get her to talk through her issues? Or should he leave well alone until she was ready? It was impossible to know what to do, but whatever was needed of him, Eugene was happy to do it.
It turned out that slipping back into the way things had been at the palace was the answer; Rapunzel would fold herself into Cass’ arms to go to sleep and either wake up having dreamed of nothing but sweetness, or bolt upright in the night because she’d rolled too far away from her handmaid and the nightmares had returned. If the former happened, they would all go about their day with smiles on their faces and lightness in their hearts. If the latter happened, Rapunzel would tell Cass about it in the moment, then seek out Eugene in the morning and the two of them would have a good long talk about it and maybe have a little cry, depending on how emotional they were feeling.
There was one small difference, though, and Eugene thought about it as he sat watch across the camp from his girlfriend and her more-bearable-by-the-day best friend, tending the fire. He frowned softly as he saw Rapunzel, who once more had rolled out of Cass’ arms, curl into herself and whimper quietly, but then smiled when Cass huffed and rolled over and literally dragged Rapunzel across the ground and back into her embrace.
“It’s nearly your turn on watch,” he says softly over the cracking of the fire, and Cass mumbles a petulant ‘no’ back at him, nuzzling into Rapunzel’s hair, but she’s disentangling herself a moment later anyway. Eugene grins at her as he rises from his spot to take her place, and Cass pretends to shove him into the fire as they pass one another, but no more words are spoken between the pair as Eugene settles himself down next to his girlfriend and takes her in his arms. She burrows into his chest with a happy little noise and they both smile (Eugene almost swears he sees Cass smile out of the corner of his eye but he knows that’s not really possible).
It’s not much longer until Eugene falls asleep as well, and this is how most nights pass these days. There’s never any verbal agreement, but Rapunzel will always fall asleep in Cass’ arms because the handmaid is, according to her and to Eugene’s immense surprise, softer and cuddlier, then, when Cass has to get up to go on watch, she’ll hand the princess of to her boyfriend. It’s a good system, and one that ensures all parties involved are happy and well rested. The others in their little party, Lance especially, wonder why Eugene isn’t Rapunzel’s favourite sleeping partner, and how he’s okay with this, but Eugene’s just happy to see his girlfriend safe and looked after, no matter who it’s by.
Idly, he does wonder how things will be when they inevitably get back to the castle, how things will be when he and Rapunzel are finally wed. Will Eugene be allowed to stay with his girlfriend before they get married, or will Cass have to take over nightmare-duty completely again? Will there be someone who can help Rapunzel work through her fears, someone professional who can make the nightmares go away, or will she always be plagued by monsters as she sleeps? Will Rapunzel - and here’s an odd thought - still need Cass to help her get to sleep, even when she and Eugene are married? He really hopes not, but if that’s what she needs then that’s what she needs.
Either way, whatever happens, they’ll get through it together, all three of them. It may be unconventional, but since when have any of them been normal? Rapunzel is a princess who doesn’t wear shoes, Cass is a handmaid who wants to be a guard, and Eugene is an orphan boy who ran away to be a thief and changed his name to a storybook character’s. They hang around with pub thugs who only
look
vicious and scary, and two of their other best friends are a lizard and a horse. Normal isn’t a factor of their lives, and Eugene can’t begin to imagine how boring things would be if it was. So even though Rapunzel still has nightmares, and even though that’s probably going to turn all their lives a little more weird, it’s nothing they can’t handle.