Work Text:
"Is your father alright?" Thrawn asked as Eli ended the transmission with his father.
"What? Yeah course he is, why do you ask?" Eli answered, turning around in his chair to face Thrawn fully from where he was lounged on his bed. With his damn boots on again.
"You only call your parents on...special days. Such as their birthdays or Lysatran holidays. Today is neither. I was curious if he was ill."
"Oh!" Eli chuckled relaxing against his chair. He was worried Thrawn had deduced something was wrong with his father over the holo. He wouldn't put that beyond the realm of possibility with Thrawn. "No he's perfectly alright, today is a Lysatran holiday-er, it's a holiday, not specific to Lysatra."
"Oh?" Thrawn raised a brow, putting down his datapad to give Eli his full attention.
"Today is Father's Day, when you pay respects to your father or father figure and show your gratitude for all they've done for you. Do Chiss not have something similar?"
Thrawn's head shifted, his eyes narrowing, unfocused from Eli. This change was subtle, but Eli had gotten attuned to Thrawn's mannerisms. He was remembering.
"No, we do not. Chiss families are...different than the traditional family structure you are familiar with. For the Ruling families, it is not a patriarch and matriarch ruling over the younger in ages, but rather, it is a political gathering of individuals in that family, with a specialty or specific task that all it's members are responsible for."
"But, you do have blood relatives right?"
"Yes, the family is all related, unless adopted in, however that is a lengthy, arduous process requiring trials and tests to measure one's worth in adding to the family."
This was more information than Eli had ever received before. Not that he was prying information out of him, like he was meant to do so long ago when they'd first found Thrawn. But, Eli would be a liar if he said he wasn't at least curious about Chiss. All he had were his stories, which weren't exactly high on the list of accurate accounts.
"But, your mom and dad, the people who birthed you, you had those right?" He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Thrawn's whole body seemed to stiffen, again in subtle ways, as per usual. His hands twitched into half fists, his shoulders squaring up, the muscles in his back pressing against the material of his uniform.
"No, I did not know my biological parents." Thrawn spoke, his voice low, eyes not meeting Eli's. Which he wasn't prone to doing, he was a big fan of prolonged eye contact. "They died when I was too young to recall."
"Were you...adopted in then?" Stop stop stop Eli, you shouldn't be asking this stuff, just leave the man be you fool! His thoughts screeched, and he was very inclined to agree with himself, but his damn curiosity that he'd never been able to quell kept pushing him farther.
"Yes, I and my brother proved ourselves worthy to my ruling family, and we were adopted in."
On the outside, Thrawn looked perfectly normal, but only to the average observer. Eli knew Thrawn better than probably anyone in the Empire, he could see the Chiss was deeply bothered. He should just stop his questions now, give him some peace. On the other hand, Eli may never have an opportunity like this again, with Thrawn so openly answering him. Thrawn always asked question after question of Eli, a few more couldn't hurt.
"Who there raised you? Someone in that family should have earned your gratitude, right?" Thrawn's posture seemed to get tenser, as if he were trying to protect himself or lash out at a moment's notice.
"I had my brother, and when I did not have him, I had myself. Weakness was not allowed if we hoped to remain useful to the Ruling family." Eli felt his heart ache. That sounded so, conditioned, and so sad. The thought of Thrawn, or any child, so young he couldn't remember his own parents having to pull himself up so he wouldn't fall down, it sounded so lonely, and scarring.
"So, you had no one to hold you when you were scared?"
"I did not allow myself to feel scared."
"Every kid feels scared sometimes."
"Not Chiss."
"What if you fell down and scraped your knee?"
"I would tend to it with medical supplies and continue my task."
"What if you needed a hug?"
"Unnecessary." The way Thrawn was talking, it wasn't his usual tone, it sounded far too robotic, monotone than his usual speech. Like these were phrases he was told to say, conditioned to repeat.
"Everyone needs a hug sometimes Thrawn." He stood from his desk chair, approaching Thrawn at the bed. Once beside him, The Chiss shifted, sitting straight up and snapping his gaze to Eli, looking like he expected someone else there.
"Not Chiss."
"Why are you so sure?"
"I do not like your tone Ensign, are you trying to look down upon me?" There was the deflecting defense Eli was waiting for. Slowly he sat down on the bed next to Thrawn, who shifted farther away as he did.
"You didn't answer."
"Ensign Vanto, this conversation has moved too far from formal work related subjects, and I believe we are finished here."
"Thrawn, we are off duty, alone in our quarters, this is the only proper place for informal discussion." He shifted closer, reaching a slow hand to Thrawn's shoulder, feeling the muscle underneath his palm twitch.
" Eli ," Thrawn whispered, as if Eli were going to snap him like a twig with just his bare hand, "why are you doing this?"
"Because, I think you need to know it's not weak to want a hug, or some reassurance, some basic care."
"I do not require a hu-"
"Hush, you know I'm no idiot, now come on, I could use a hug too."
Thrawn didn't deny his claim this time, but he also didn't move from his spot on the bed. So, again, moving slowly to telegraph his moves, Eli leaned in, gently pulling Thrawn into his embrace. The Chiss was stiff, and a bit stubborn, refusing to move at first. However, with a few soft nudges, the blue man practically collapsed against Eli, holding him tightly and resting his chin against his shoulder.
It took a moment to react, but Eli was returning the hug quickly, wrapping his arms around Thrawn's broad shoulders. They shook a moment under his palms, before relaxing again, his entire body melting into Eli's hold.
Eli moved a hand up Thrawn's back, dipping the tips of the digits into the base of Thrawn's neck, feeling the short hairs there. He moved up even higher, carding his fingers through Thrawn's hair, lightly massaging the back of his head as he went.
He wasn't sure how long they sat their, frozen in the tight embrace, but Eli's back began to ache, feeling the full weight of Thrawn's body upon it. Silently, he tried signaling for Thrawn and him to lay down, thankfully, he understood and down they went, Thrawn nuzzling under Eli's chin, head resting on his chest.
It was extremely strange, to see his six foot something, superior officer cradled in his arms like a troubled significant other, soothing him much he would a child frightened by a storm. It was also nice, however. The warmth and pressure on Eli's chest was reassuring to him, and watching Thrawn's chest rise and fall smoothly, reminded him that, while troubled, Thrawn was okay.