Chapter Text
They had given him a choice that wasn’t much of a choice at all, and when he had chosen, they had thought the matter settled and washed their hands of it.
He couldn't say he regretted it, on the simple ground that all alternatives were equally terrible. That's what he told himself anyway, when he cursed himself for deciding to stay and live in his family house, instead of moving to another one in the Uchiha district, or being set up somewhere in town in a ninja-intended flat.
Living here was awful, but he wasn't so naïve as to think that being anywhere else would make anything better. Living in another house would have been awful and living in a nondescript, foreign flat would have been awful too.
Maybe it was just living that was awful.
But Sasuke sure had elected to face a specific kind of struggle by keeping to his old room in his old house. Well, they weren't old. He had been out of it and bundled up in the hospital for barely a week, as much to recover from the whole ordeal as, he suspected, to give the forensics and cleaning crews the time to wipe away all traces of The Night, to remove bodies and scrape off the blood.
He could still smell it anyway. Could still see it everywhere.
A week, and upon coming back everything had felt foreign to him. Weeks had passed since then, and nothing felt even marginally better.
He laid awake in his bed at night, staring at the ceiling, and listening, in his old room, from his old life. He hoped to catch the faintest noise of activity, traces of the sounds that had carried him off to sleep his entire life. His parents moving around the house, the neighbors chatting up in their front porch, the dull sound of shuriken hitting woods from some late training session.
Late-night pacing or writing from the next room over, the bedroom of…
In an apartment in town the silence wouldn’t have been a problem, but he would have been assaulted by foreign sounds, and it wouldn’t have been any better. He listened and listened, but there was nothing. Barely the crack of trees, the wind rustling the leaves. Nothing human.
He was all alone.
And that night he just couldn’t bear it anymore.
It wasn’t different from any other nights, except this time, he got out of bed. He put his neatly folded clothes back on. He had overheard a classmate today whisper to his friend how lucky Sasuke was that his mother wasn’t here to berate him into cleaning his room anymore. He had wanted to punch him in the face, but he had just glared and left the room.
They were absolute tools and he hated them all, but he didn’t have enough resentment in him to do something about it.
He didn’t have much of anything at all. Not for them, anyway.
He desperately wanted to get out of the Uchiha district. He had thought about going back on his decision and taking them up on their offer of a flat, but he had quickly dismissed the idea. Mostly because he was convinced it wouldn't change a thing, and he would soon want to move again. Also because letting go of the house, of that last tenuous link to his clan and family, he couldn't even consider it.
And maybe because he had made a choice and he intended to stick to it, not go back on it and make a scene now. He could stand by his choice. He could get through this.
It was just for tonight. Tonight, he needed to get out.
He avoided the busiest streets. Late as it was, they were emptying out anyway, but he didn’t want to risk running into anybody. Because he was. Running. He couldn’t seem to stop. Maybe if he ran fast enough, far enough, maybe he could outrun himself. Leave it all behind.
A nice thought, but one that was cut short by him slamming full force into someone his height, knocking them both down on their ass.
“Hey! Can’t you be more careful?”
As his luck would have it, it was Naruto.
.
On some intellectual level, Naruto knew that the way he lived was not normal.
Or that it wasn't the way any of his classmates lived anyway. The crushing loneliness, the lack of love and support, he had caught on early on, but over the years he had come to understand just how much deeper that difference ran.
Case in point, he was tiredly dragging groceries back to his lonely flat, something he was sure none of them had ever had to do.
He had spent the last of his monthly allowance at the grocery store – they did good promotions on Wednesday, just before closing, since they didn't open on Thursday. It was a busy time, which meant more side looks and comments thrown at him, but also that the shopkeepers were too busy to make a scene or watch his every move. Since he was short on money, he had wanted to take advantage of the promotion as much as he could, but that meant buying more than he could actually carry on his own, and the owner had refused to give him an extra bag to even out his load. Technically, he knew he could ask the old man for more, but the Hokage always looked so disappointed when he did, that Naruto had failed yet again to balance out his budget.
Another thing his classmates didn’t have to worry about. There had been a time when it was the masked ninja gravitating around him that took care of filling up his fridge, but after one too many misses and things he had no idea what to do with cluttering his kitchen, he had decided he would be better off taking care of it himself. Even if it meant suffering the trips on his own.
He didn’t really care. Or well, he had learned not to. He if had started caring about those things, he would have been angry all the time, and being angry was tiring and unpleasant. So he just tried not to think about it. But tonight he was tired, and he had stepped into a puddle and put mud all over his shoes, and he knew for a fact he wouldn’t get to eat Ichiraku’s ramen for at least another week and would have to make do until then with what he had bought, and he was finding it hard not to get angry.
So when someone slammed into him, making him tumble backward and let go of his precious hoard, he didn't even try to see who it was before he snapped.
“Hey! Can’t you be more careful?”
And as his (bad) his luck would have it, it was Sasuke.
.
“Sorry,” Sasuke said, getting back on his feet. His clothes were all dirty now, streaked with mud, and he would have to wash it on his own, something he hadn’t quite get a grasp on yet. His mood worsened, if it was possible, but he felt more angry than sad. Naruto was good for that, at least. Sasuke preferred anger. Anger, he knew how to let it out. “Don’t talk to me like that, idiot, I didn’t see you.”
“Well you…”
Sasuke was almost looking forward to a screaming match with the stupid blond. That would distract him for sure. He was easy to rile up. Easy to hurt. It didn’t settle anything in Sasuke, but at least he wasn’t the only one then. Expect Naruto cut his retort short when his eyes landed on the scattered items around him.
Only then did Sasuke noticed that he had been carrying some sort of groceries and that most of it were now muddy, spilled, or broken.
“Look at what you’ve done you… you…”
Sasuke was struck speechless, because it wasn’t anger he saw in Naruto’s face and heard in his voice. The boy was still on the floor, rummaging through his purchases with complete despair as he tried to salvage what he could.
“I spent all the money I had left on this… I don’t have anything left at home! Why’d you do that?”
Sasuke was going to protest, to defend himself, because he hadn’t done it on purpose, it wasn’t his fault. But Naruto wasn’t even looking at him. He was clutching a box of crushed eggs in his hands, head down and voice cracking.
The next second, it was gone.
Sasuke almost got whiplashed as he looked at the other boy quickly stuffing everything back in the bags and standing up again. His face was hardened and Sasuke even thought he was going to smile, which he found abhorrent for some reason. Thankfully, even Naruto couldn’t quite manage it at the moment.
“I have to go,” he said simply, fists closed hard around the bags, face pinched with determination. Once again, it could have been anger, but it wasn’t.
Naruto, he realized, was just trying very hard not to cry.
It was an expression he had often seen on the boy's face. His lips tightly closed, brows furrowed, eyes ablaze. Looking like rage, but that wasn't it, at all. He was most likely biting the inside of his mouth, digging his nails into his palms. Anything to distract himself, anything so that he could fool the others into thinking he was holding it together, anything not to cry in front of witnesses, not to show them any weakness they could grab on.
Sasuke had seen this expression often. On Naruto’s face, and on his.
He was vaguely aware of Naruto being an orphan and living alone, but he didn’t care before The Night, and he cared even less after. He had never wondered what that entailed exactly.
Looking at the ruined goods in the battered bags, Sasuke felt something stir inside of him, something that had made itself scarce lately, something he hadn’t realized had been missing until now.
It was feelings, but they weren’t for him. They weren’t his anger and his pain, his hatred and his despair. They were for Naruto. Guilt and concern, maybe even empathy for a pain stranger to his own.
It felt like running away from himself and into someone else. Someone who probably wanted to run too.
Naruto stepped around him and started to walk away, and suddenly, Sasuke couldn’t bear it.
“Wait!”
It sounded too loud and too commanding in the sleepy silence of the empty street. Naruto looked back with a frown after a short hesitation.
“What?”
.
Naruto just wanted to run home, hide under his covers and sleep for a hundred years. Why had he yelled at Sasuke like that? What if he told the others at the Academy, or reported him to the teachers? Naruto didn’t need to get into any more trouble than he already was.
He needed to get out of there. He couldn’t cry, not in front of Sasuke. Sasuke would mock him. He would bring it to the others. No one had ever seen Naruto cry, ever, and no one ever would. No one would ever see how they could get him down. He smiled, that’s what he did. He refused to let them know, let them see.
He hurried off, willing to put distance between them as fast as he could.
“Wait!”
Still, he couldn’t help but pause.
It just sounded very strange, Sasuke’s voice just then. Unfamiliar.
“What?” he asked warily, curious despite himself. Sasuke looked at a loss for word. He hesitated, but he didn’t look away when he answered.
“I’ll buy your things back.”
And Naruto, shell-shocked and confused, could only answer “the shop is closed now.”
Sasuke huffed out a frustrated sound.
“Not right now! Just… I’ll do it.”
He looked earnest, determined. Naruto couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, but he wasn’t about to say that.
“Okay. I… Okay.”
There was an awkward silence where they both shifted on their feet, trying to find the right way to put an end to that whole meeting. What broke the silence wasn’t any of their voices though – it was Naruto’s stomach, traitorous as ever, which growled loudly, cramping around empty air.
Naruto hadn’t eaten anything all day.
He blushed in embarrassment, mortified. His hopes that the other boy hadn't heard it were crushed upon seeing the look on his face, surprised and perplexed. But before Naruto could make a quick exit, Sasuke spurted out even more nonsense.
“Let’s go eat something.”
This time Naruto was sure he was having him on.
“What’re you talking about?”
Nothing about this made any sense.
“You said… you said you had nothing to eat. I didn’t… eat. Either. So let’s… let’s get… something.”
“You… have money?”
“Yes.”
It just occurred to Naruto then that it was very odd for Sasuke to be out alone so late, and so far from his home.
Not much was known about what had happened to the Uchiha clan. Not much by the civilians, anyway. Naruto had taken up the habit of lurking around the jonins and the Hokage office at the Tower. Since everyone was quick to dismiss and ignore him, it meant he could actually get a good ear in sometimes.
Sasuke’s entire clan and family had been slaughtered by his own brother. As far as he knew, his motivations weren’t very clear.
Naruto had never had any family. He had never had anyone who had loved him and hadn’t loved anyone either. So he could only imagine, with great difficulty, what Sasuke was going through. Sometimes he thought maybe the old man cared about him, but he was too dismissive, too absent for it to really hold, to be of any value. The nicest people in his life were Teuchi and his daughter at Ichiraku, and Iruka-sensei, but they weren’t his family. Yet just picturing Iruka or even one of the other teachers going crazy and killing off his classmates was enough to give Naruto nightmares, and he didn’t love any of them, nor did they love him.
What he could imagine was all kind of terrible.
And Sasuke was on his own now. Just like him. Alone, with money to get by and sort himself out.
They were the same.
“…Ichiraku’s still open,” Naruto said cautiously, taking a step forward. He was sure Sasuke was going to pull the rug under his feet at any time, but the boy just scrunched up his nose in confusion.
“The ramen stand?”
“Yeah. It’s not far.”
“Hm. Alright.”
For a moment none of them moved, they just stared at each other, confusingly aware that this was all very odd, that something was happening right now and that they didn’t get it.
It was Sasuke’s stomach which interrupted them this time, and it was so incongruous, so mundane coming from his perfect, stoic classmate, that Naruto couldn’t help a light giggle to escape him.
“Let’s go!” he said cheerfully, even if he wasn’t really feeling it. He was good at it, after all this time, but for once it wasn’t to protect himself from the hostility around him.
It was nice to see Sasuke relax, if only slightly, fall into step with him. It had to be the weirdest thing that had ever happened to Naruto, but it wasn’t a bad weird, for now anyway. So he decided to just roll with it, as he was prone to do.
.
The thought of finding himself alone again had just been too terrifying for Sasuke to let it happen without a fight.
He almost felt bad, because he was using Naruto in a way. But then again, it was his fault the boy’s errand was for naught, and he had been raised with manners, even if no one was here to enforce them anymore… He clenched his fist remembering about the two boys from earlier.
Stupid, all of them.
He could tell Naruto’s smile was fake, but maybe not entirely. He was genuinely cheered up by the prospect of food, Sasuke believed.
He was on a budget too now, but his funds came from the Uchiha’s fortune, and even with most of it sealed away for now, it was still extensive. He wasn’t handling it anyway. ANBU dropped by every week with some groceries that were slowly filling the kitchen, almost untouched. He ate the same things time after time and stored or threw away the rest – what did they expect him to do with some of it anyway? He had picked up some cooking from his mother, but nothing very fancy. Her cooking books were full of recipes, he knew. He hadn't touched them.
Was Naruto in the same case? He seemed to have to buy his food himself. Could he cook? Sasuke doubted it.
It felt… weird. Wrong. Why was it like this? It was weird, wasn’t it?
“Oh, Naruto! It’s a bit late for you isn’t it? And who is your friend?”
Lost in thoughts, Sasuke hadn't even registered they had entered the brightly lit stand until he was faced with a smiling man behind a wooden counter. There were no other customers, and they both climbed onto the high stools while Naruto chatted happily with the man he seemed to know well.
“I know, I know. Don’t tell Iruka-sensei! This is my… friend, Sasuke.”
Sasuke caught on the hesitation, even it was barely there. He understood – they weren’t friends, he didn’t even know what they were doing right now, but how could they explain that? He didn’t want to.
He waited for the recognition in the eyes of the man and the younger woman helping him. If they realized who he was though, they didn’t let it show.
Sasuke had seen how the villagers treated Naruto and saw nothing of it in that man. He understood why Naruto had brought them here.
“What will it be then boys?”
“The usual!” Naruto shouted happily, and Sasuke marveled at how quickly he had recovered his cheers and good mood, if only superficially.
“And for you?”
Sasuke looked awkwardly around him, unsure of what to do. He had never been there before, had no idea what they served and how it worked.
“Same as him,” he mumbled before he could embarrass himself even more. The man nodded without a comment.
“You’ve never been here?” Naruto exclaimed, incredulous and slightly offended on Sasuke’s behalf. Sasuke’s reluctant confirmation made him bream though. ”Well get ready to be blown away, ‘cause Ichiraku ramen are the best!”
Sasuke wanted to ask him how he could talk to him like that now, where this was coming from. They weren't friends, had never been anything but indifferent or downright hostile toward one another, and yet here they were now, just because Sasuke had offered him some payback for the incident.
Maybe it was just more already, than most were willing to give the blond boy.
Here were those strange feelings again. That were not for him.
“Here it is!” the man exclaimed, putting two steaming bowls in front of them. Naruto cheered and dug in right away, slurping at the noodled loudly, making a mess.
Two girls whispering in a corner of the classroom. “No wonder why he’s so messy. No one ever taught him any better”. The envy in their voice. Sasuke’s anger, but not for himself.
He took up his own chopsticks, stared at his bowl. He was aware that Ichiraku was a popular joint among the population and the ninjas especially, but it wasn’t the kind of place he had ever frequented with his family. They didn’t mix up much with the rest of the village as a general rule, and they had their own food courts in the Uchiha district.
It was almost rebellious, being there right now. But he was the only one who knew it.
He ate.
“It’s good.”
.
The only way to go was forward. Naruto tried to never dwell much on anything. It was too depressing. He held on the rare occasions people were nice to him and tried to forget the many others they weren’t. No matter how the night went from now on, he would cherish that single point in time when Sasuke decided to treat him decently.
He chatted lightly with Teuchi while polishing off his bowl. In many ways, the old chef and his daughter were the people he was closest to in the whole village. The only ones of whom he had no bad memories to forget, for they had always treated him fairly, like any other customers. Maybe even a little more, because on his last birthday, Teuchi had made him a bowl for free, and it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.
He was glad he got to share that with someone else, even if it was Sasuke. Everyone would benefit from knowing the joy and comfort of eating ramen at Ichiraku.
Only when both their bowls were empty and Ayame started to tidy up for closing did Naruto got nervous again. What if Sasuke decided to prank him and refused to pay?
Naruto didn’t have enough left for even one slice of pork. Teuchi was kind, but he didn’t like freeloaders, and would he believe him, against Sasuke? Adults always believed the other kids.
His concerns were for naught though, because Sasuke pulled out a small but full wallet from his pocket, asking for what he owed for the two bowls. A brief look of surprise crossed Teuchi’s face as he looked at Naruto ducking his head in embarrassment.
“Only one,” the old man said easily. “First bowl here is free for kids.”
Nothing showed on Sasuke’s face as he nodded and paid for one bowl.
Naruto didn’t know if it was a real rule, but he remembered his first time at Ichiraku. He was soaked to the bones but unwilling to go back to his empty apartment, and the light and warmth of the shop, the only one opened in the empty street, had been so tempting, so inviting, he had come closer, just to see. Teuchi had spotted him, but instead of shooing him away, he’d beacon him closer, and put a large bowl in front of him. Naruto had devoured it before realizing it would cost money and he had none, but Teuchi hadn’t let him panic.
“You’re a kid, it’s on the house this time!”
Years of being shunned and scorned later, Naruto could truly appreciate how special it had been, and what a hero Teuchi was. In his eyes, anyway.
They made their goodbyes, Naruto promising to come back as soon as he could, and found themselves back on the dark streets. Naruto's mood had improved by a wild marge, even with his groceries still in a pitiful state. A problem for later.
“Teuchi is very nice. He’ll give you a free bowl on special occasions and even let you keep a tab if you come often enough! The takoyaki stand next to the Academy does that too, but careful ‘cause if you don’t pay up then you’re banned for life. Also that pastry shop there? Their mochis are half priced at the end of the week ‘cause…”
Naruto caught Sasuke staring at him then, with puzzled, inquisitive eyes, and his mouth clicked shut. What was he doing, telling Sasuke this? But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to share, those things that hardly mattered to other but were lifesavers to him.
“I mean… I just know a lot of... Stuff like that. If you want. I know my way around every shop out there. So. Yeah.”
They were walking the village aimlessly, but Naruto was still more or less taking the direction of his flat, and Sasuke seemed content just to follow. An uneasy silence fell over them both, until…
"I'll help with that," Sasuke said abruptly, and he took one of the bags from Naruto's hand and started to walk more purposefully, leaving the blond boy stunned behind him. After a few steps though, he had to turn back.
“Where to?” he asked.
Few actually knew where he lived. The people in the neighborhood did, more or less, but his building was half-empty – he preferred not to think it was because he lived there – and others didn’t care. He had never had anyone over expect the old man and Iruka-sensei, and it was better this way. As cold and bleak as this flat was, it was still a safe haven in the hostility of the village, where he was lonely, sure, but being alone was better than the alternative sometimes.
He hesitated, but he didn't want this night to end. Whatever had possessed Sasuke to act like that, and whatever had possessed himself to go along with it instead of pushing him away, he didn't want to be the one to break it. He had been accused before of being too trustful. After one too many times falling for his classmates' traps, who tricked him into doing dumb or dangerous stuff with the false pretenses of accepting him as a friend, Iruka-sensei had tried as gently as possible to teach him about guarding his heart and being wary of other's intentions.
Naruto simply couldn’t do it. Because he was terrified if he started to act this way, he would miss the one time the offer was genuine. It was a risk he couldn’t take.
He preferred risking getting hurt again (and again), than risk missing out on an actual attempt at friendship.
So he resumed walking and guided Uchiha Sasuke to his home.
.
Sasuke had no idea what he was doing. He had never acted so recklessly in his life, without thinking about the consequences at all. He was moving on instinct, on emotions. It should have made his skin crawl, but he was too exhausted to care.
The prospect of getting back to his empty house, right now, was his worst nightmare, and he was ready to do anything to delay it, just a little. Even if it meant following Naruto around the village for a while.
They entered a district Sasuke knew hosted shinobis almost exclusively. Those buildings were full of clanless genin, chunin and jounin and their families, with few civilians in the mix. He supposed it allowed Naruto some sort of reprieve, since the civilians always treated him the worse. Not to say shinobis didn’t treat him badly too, but at least they tried to be subtle about it, or to just ignore him entirely.
Naruto made it very hard to ignore him though. The opposite of Sasuke, whose dearest wish was to just become invisible to the crowd, so that he would be left in peace, protected from prying, pitying eyes.
There was no one to look at them now. Everything was quiet, empty, even if he thought he caught some movements on the rooftops, probably guards on patrol or returning nins. No one approached them anyway, and Sasuke followed Naruto all the way to a sad looking building, and then up to the last floor and to a battered door decorated with the boy’s signature red spiral.
Naruto unlocked the door, and Sasuke pushed in before the boy could turn him away.
Not just yet, not just yet. He needed more time, just a little. Then he would go back. Just a little more.
.
“Hey!”
Naruto would have grabbed Sasuke to stop him from barging into his home, but his hands were full. He scrambled in after the other boy who had already kicked off his shoes and was marching toward the kitchen.
Seeing Sasuke inside his apartment was jarring and a little terrifying. Naruto had wandered by the Uchiha district before, he knew what their houses looked like. For all intent and purposes, Sasuke was from a rich, distinguished family, and Naruto’s kitchen was filled with dirty dished and empty ramen cup, in addition to being smaller than Sasuke’s closet probably.
The boy didn't comment on anything though. He didn't really look around. He focused on the groceries, trying to gauge what was salvageable and where to put it away. There wasn't much variety. The old man and Iruka kept telling him that he had to eat healthier, like vegetables and stuff, but none had ever bothered to explain to him what exactly he was supposed to do with those. Tomatoes were easy, carrots too, but the other stuff? Cabbages, beans, onions… He had no idea how to cook any of it, and had discovered quickly – by way of trying it out – which he could bite in raw like an apple, and which he could not.
Cooking books could only take him so far, because reading was a hassle and they didn’t really explain anything anyway. He had burnt food, utensils and himself a few times and decided that instant food was a safer bet.
Sasuke probably ate a lot of fancy food, big dinners with lots of plates on the table, and would find his hoard pitiful.
Except Sasuke lived alone now. Just like Naruto.
They finished putting everything away – barely half of it, Naruto had to trash the rest with great regrets – and fell back into tense, awkward immobility and silence. Naruto didn’t know where to go from there. He was getting tired, especially now that his belly was full, but he didn’t know how to send Sasuke away.
Didn’t even know if he wanted to.
There had to be a reason why Sasuke was wandering the street alone in the middle of the night, and none Naruto could think of were particularly good. Besides, it was kinda nice. To have the boy here. To have anyone here, really, but it was Sasuke and it was… It was kinda nice.
And, well. No one was going to call Sasuke back home. No one was waiting for him.
That didn’t mean he’d want to stay either though.
“Well. Thanks. I guess."
Sasuke was frowning as usual, but he looked more confused than angry, or angry because he was confused.
“You don’t… you can leave, now, if you want. I mean I’m not… It’s just… You can.”
Sasuke wasn't looking at him, eyes cast sideways and resolutely fixed on the fridge or something, and Naruto couldn't read him, couldn't guess what he was thinking. He was tensed, but he didn't react to Naruto's words. Didn't even seemed to have heard them. Naruto carried on anyway, never one to know when to stop talking.
“Or not, you know. You could just… Stay. Here. If you want. I don’t… Yeah.”
Flushed in embarrassment, Naruto decided that now was a good time to shut up, if only because he had no idea what to say anymore, and waited.
.
It was ridiculous. It was. Sasuke didn’t even know what he was doing here. He had to go back, to leave. He didn’t need anyone and he certainly didn’t need Naruto. Dead-last, idiot Naruto with his stupid smile and his stupid challenges, so loud and annoying all the time.
With no family, no friends, no clan. What a sordid, horrible common point they had.
“Why would I do that?”
It sounded harsher than he had intended, and Naruto recoiled. Sasuke had been both dreading and hoping for when the conflictual nature of the other boy would resurface – where it had disappeared to all this time, for it was the first time they had been civil toward each other. Then again, it was also the first time they met outside the classroom and the burden of their classmates’ gaze. Sasuke had a sense Naruto acted out in class to bring attention on himself – something he couldn’t understand, really – but he had never given much thought to how genuine he was in his interactions with the others, and with himself. He knew they didn’t really hate each other. They didn’t know each other nearly enough for that. It was more of a power dynamic than anything else, and it had no reason to exist here.
So Naruto pouted but he didn’t get angry. He just mumbled, “I dunno, just an idea,” hands behind his head in his usual I-don’t-even-care position.
Sasuke couldn't. He had to go home. Even if it was about the last thing he wanted to do. Maybe he could just hang out at one of the parks until school started. He would be dead on his feet the next day, but it was a small inconvenience. He wouldn't be able to sleep at home anyway.
He just couldn’t stay here. It didn’t make sense.
Naruto opened his mouth again before Sasuke could.
“It just would be nice, maybe. To not sleep alone.”
His eyes were downcast and he was biting his lips, like he wanted to punish them for letting that thought slip past. He was rocking on his heels, the picture of discomfort he was trying and failing to hide.
There was no way to know if he was talking about Sasuke or about himself. Sasuke could decide he was talking about himself. That Naruto was the one in desperate need of company. Naruto wasn’t considerate enough to make such a proposal for Sasuke’s sake anyway. Even if he had been less confrontational lately, more inclined to leave Sasuke alone, and on some occasions, to make a nuisance of himself just when Sasuke was getting overwhelmed by the girls crowding him or the boys whispering about him behind his back, effectively distracting them with his antics.
Sasuke didn’t want to think about it, to notice. But he had.
If they didn’t talk about it though, he could just pretend it didn’t exist.
“What, are you scared?”
He wanted to punch himself in the face. He just stood straight and scolded harder, not about to take his words back. This whole thing was too strange, he was desperate to get back on more familiar ground, to set Naruto off and be done with all this. But the blond boy didn’t react like he expected. He didn’t react at all, barely a shrug.
He didn’t deny it. Didn’t say a thing. But the look in his eyes, the way he stared at Sasuke…
Sasuke was used to no one understanding how he was feeling, this was unnerving, to say the least. It felt like Naruto could see everything, right through him, like he was suddenly staring at him with activated Sharingans.
He still looked hurt, and for some reasons Sasuke didn’t like it at all.
“Whatever,” he said, waving a hand. He took the way of what Sasuke assumed to be his bedroom. It was better that way. Sasuke couldn’t just stay. It didn’t make any sense. It was…
“Okay!”
Naruto spun around, eyes wide.
“What?”
“I’ll… I’ll stay.”
For a second Sasuke was terrified that Naruto would take it back, or said he hadn’t meant it. He was already bracing himself for the humiliation.
“Oh. Okay.”
They were both equally surprised by this outcome.
“Okay.”
.
Never in a million years would have Naruto hoped that Sasuke would actually say yes. And yet, here they were, Naruto in his bed, Sasuke on a dusty futon on the other side of the bedroom, in borrowed sheets and borrowed clothes. He had stood awkwardly in a corner while Naruto bustled around the room, to tidy up a bit, water the plants while refraining from talking to them like he usually did, and set up a decent spot for his classmate. Dead on his feet a few minutes ago, Naruto was now wide awake and restless, thrown off balance by the sheer surrealism of that situation. He could practically feel Sasuke’s tension from across the room.
Eventually though, they both relaxed. Naruto mumbled a “g’night” and turned away from the other boy to face the wall, but he could still feel his presence, hear his regular, if a little fast breathing.
It was someone. Someone else here, alive in this room, by Naruto’s side. Someone that didn’t wish him harm (he hoped). Someone who whispered a “good night” in the silence they shared and that didn’t feel as suffocating as it used to.
Naruto closed his eyes, and for the very first time, he was carried to sleep by the sound of another person’s breathing.
.
Sasuke was convinced he wouldn’t fall asleep. The noises were so foreign, everything was. But amidst all that, there was Naruto, sleep betrayed by the slowing down of his breath, his sudden stillness.
Asleep, but alive.
Sasuke listened, and listened, and then, he slept.