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    17 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It was during this hysterical lament that Ilya realized what was wrong, what was off. The initial softness, the confusion, the vulnerability. It was out of character — Shane was so often in control of himself, of what he said, even when emotions were high . . . with one exception.

    If Ilya fucked him particularly . . . intensely, if he got Shane feeling a lot, he'd get soft afterwards. Quiet, a little ditzy, emotional. The first time it'd happened — or the first time he'd recognized it — was years ago in Las Vegas after winning MVP. He remembered the look on Hollander's face when he left — wide and teary-eyed, lip trembling, tripping over himself.

    Since then, with a little trial and error, Ilya had learned how to manage it. Had grown to love it. If he treated him right, he could buff away all of Shane's sharp edges and be left with the soft, gooey inside. Floating and tethering himself to Ilya.

    Now, Shane was out there, floating, without anyone to tether himself to. Falling. And suddenly Ilya was panicking, too.

    or: shane, trying to get over rozanov, has sex with someone else and and falls into subdrop. scared and confused, he calls ilya.

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    07 Feb 2026

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    Shane pulls back, carefully cradling Ilya’s face. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

    “You don’t want to?” Ilya’s eyes are bottomless; swimming with grief. He says it like he really means, You don’t want me?

    “That isn’t what I mean,” Shane says gently, brushing his thumb over Ilya’s cheekbone. Ilya’s eyes flutter shut, as if being treated so tenderly causes him physical pain. Like he isn’t used to it. “You’re hurting. I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.” 

    Ilya’s eyes open. “I have never regretted a moment with you.”

    *

    Or: the missing hotel room scene in Florida after Shane comforts Ilya.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    Ilya’s hand wraps around his bare wrist and squeezes. Shane barely stops himself from collapsing to his knees.

    The pressure lights up every receptor of his touch-starved nervous system, wrenching a small, pained noise from the back of his throat. Every muted sensation comes flooding back so intensely that it almost hurts. He needs Ilya to hold him down until there’s nothing inside him but quiet. He wants to sink into him and disappear.

    It takes Shane an entire beat to remember where they are. Fighting against the fog in his mind, he manages to drag his gaze up to meet Ilya’s.

    There’s a slow-dawning horror and understanding on Ilya’s face.

    *

    Or: Shane is in subdrop after their encounter in Vegas. Ilya fixes it.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    He clears his throat and looks away. His eyes dropping to his empty plate. “I don’t know,” he says softly. “No one ever did.”

    Suho exhales somewhere between disbelief and indignation. The movie is still playing but neither of them even pretends to care now. The moaning from the screen is just background noise at this point.

    “That’s a shame,” Suho murmurs.

    Then, he adds, “Wanna bet?”

    Or, Suho eats Sieun out until he cries.

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    27 Jan 2026