1 - 20 of 181 Bookmarks by somethingdeepandprofound
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Attempted intimacy, with various caveats.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
07 Nov 2025
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“Not the other day, you spent a good quarter-hour spinning a fantasy where I was reincarnated as an alkada and harassed throughout the Underdark. It’s a little hard to believe that your opinion of me has changed so quickly.”
Gale has a visitor in the middle of the night. A visitor with intentions.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
07 Nov 2025
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- Words:
- 7,632
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
03 Nov 2025
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i'd tell them put me back in it by iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
01 Apr 2025
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“You don’t— I—” Gale stops, willing his nerves to settle, facing her again. “I must warn you, Karlach, when it comes to matters of… of physicality, that is, without magic, I am sorely out of practice—”
“Oh, are you? Fancy that! Can’t imagine what that’s like, being out of practice.”
He blinks, surprised, and then he snorts. Right. The entire subject matter of the day, the only reason they’re able to do this now at all.
What a pair they make, indeed.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
21 Oct 2025
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There and Sass Again - A Love Story by Bead
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
06 Aug 2013
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After arriving at Beorn's halls, Bilbo is conscripted into helping Óin rebandage Thorin's wounds. And I'm not giving the rest away, except to be appalled at myself for embracing dwarrow humor so. ::facepalms::
(Previously known as Hurt/Comfort Humor Romance Dwarrow Courting Ritual Fic Which Stubbornly Remains Untitled. Most humble thanks to Darth Stitch, muse wrangler and dear enabler.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,709
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 259
- Kudos:
- 3,748
- Bookmarks:
- 1,029
- Hits:
- 89,222
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
30 Aug 2025
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An extended version of "the acorn scene." Bilbo sees his chance to snap Thorin out of his madness, and takes it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,111
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 539
- Kudos:
- 6,899
- Bookmarks:
- 1,353
- Hits:
- 90,005
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
18 Aug 2025
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Hard-Knock by yeaka
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms
25 Jul 2015
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Bilbo rides the river in Thorin’s barrel, then rides other things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,622
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 68
- Kudos:
- 2,286
- Bookmarks:
- 381
- Hits:
- 39,276
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
08 Aug 2025
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Camping on the quest had been, much to Bilbo's surprise, a revolution in his masturbation technique.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
06 Aug 2025
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“What is a massage?”
Bilbo’s eyes widened. “Oh, well you take off your clothes and I put my hands on you and rub and if Beorn has any oil it’ll feel much nicer and-”
When Thorin choked on the air of his next breath Bilbo realised what that must have sounded like and blushed as red as any tomato he’d ever grown.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
02 Aug 2025
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For the longest time Bilbo had thought he would have to choose.
Wait, no, that was not entirely right.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
02 Aug 2025
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Every hobbit knows that dwarves are voracious lovers. So Bilbo can only assume that Thorin has just been waiting for the opportune time to thoroughly ravage his burglar, who is by no means inexperienced himself.
This would be news to Thorin, of course, since dwarves don't even feel desire until they fall in love.
This leads to a slight misunderstanding.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,431
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 2,530
- Bookmarks:
- 438
- Hits:
- 31,788
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
21 Jul 2025
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Over Hill and Under Skirts (Out of the Frying Pan and Into Her Knickers) by pibroch (littleblackdog)
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
28 Feb 2013
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Summary
For a kink meme prompt:
Dwarf women are rare, and often so intent on their craft, that Thorin has never had the opportunity or inclination to become familiar with the more intimate portions of the female anatomy.
When he is finally introduced to that realm of hidden mystery, Thorin is quite... curious.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,542
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 83
- Kudos:
- 4,953
- Bookmarks:
- 870
- Hits:
- 99,949
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
20 Jul 2025
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- Words:
- 7,259
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 369
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
16 Jul 2025
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First Impressions by perkynurples
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
13 May 2014
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Bilbo Baggins is not a morning person, so he doesn't really know what's supposed to happen in that magical time before lunch, but even he realizes finding inconveniently shirtless (and inconveniently attractive) strangers sleeping on his couch isn't an everyday occurrence. Written based on this text post off Tumblr - the premise was just too good to pass up. Quick and harmless.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,117
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 4,848
- Bookmarks:
- 588
- Hits:
- 28,312
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
16 Jul 2025
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From Small Beginnings by htebazytook
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
08 Feb 2015
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Summary
The company enjoys a well deserved rest in Laketown. Some more than others.
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In A Most Delightful Way by fideliant
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
04 May 2013
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Taking care of Thorin while he's ill in Laketown is a job that must be done. Bilbo soon finds the element of fun, though the job still turns out to be a job of its own kind.
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
13 Jul 2025
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Proofreading by keelywolfe
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
12 Jul 2013
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Summary
Bilbo honestly wanted Thorin to be the very first to read his book. Though perhaps sneaking into his rooms in the middle of the night to ask him what he thought of it was a bit much.
Minor universe alterations: Bilbo stays in Erebor after the end of the book, along with other, obvious changes in who is still alive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,158
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 1,973
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 23,468
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
11 Jul 2025
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Summary
‘We may have won the battle, but I fear the war with winter is just beginning.’
The aftermath of war is no laughing matter. Those who died must be honoured, those who are wounded must be healed, and those who remain need food and clothing, peace and sanctuary. With Thorin's life hanging in the balance, it is up to Bilbo and the rest of the Company to rule the rag-tag remnants of Erebor in his place.
Then there is the matter of the gold...
Can Bilbo save both king and kingdom, or is Erebor destined to fall deeper into ruin?
Series
- Part 1 of The Riven Crown Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 254,270
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 3,022
- Kudos:
- 8,970
- Bookmarks:
- 3,116
- Hits:
- 304,175
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
09 Jul 2025
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my only comfort is the night gone black. by Gerry_Old, GerryStAmour
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (2012)
07 Jan 2013
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Summary
Thorin pleasures himself to fantasies of Bilbo.
EDITED.
Series
- Part 4 of Gerry's Old Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,180
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 940
- Bookmarks:
- 92
- Hits:
- 18,508
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
06 Jul 2025
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Summary
Thorin encounters a particularly deadly flower while the Company travels through Mirkwood: one that releases a form of aphrodisiac pollen that may take days to burn out of his system, if it doesn't kill him first. To survive, he's going to need a partner.
Fortunately, he and Mistress Baggins have grown quite close.
Unfortunately, Thorin has decided not to pursue Bilbo any further until he can court her properly once the Mountain is reclaimed.
It would help if he had informed Bilbo of any of this, especially when an Elvish flower is doing its level best to kill him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,340
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 2,369
- Bookmarks:
- 478
- Hits:
- 41,652
Bookmarked by somethingdeepandprofound
06 Jul 2025