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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,033
- Chapters:
- 16/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
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- Kudos:
- 2,960
- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by somesillynerd
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
The war was over.
Or at least that’s what the papers said.
They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding.
Maybe they did.
***
In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town.
It's super.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,767
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Collections:
- 44
- Comments:
- 4,473
- Kudos:
- 27,233
- Bookmarks:
- 9,395
- Hits:
- 775,153
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
15 Feb 2026
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Bookmarked by somesillynerd
21 Oct 2025
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Summary
It isn't often Hermione Granger does stupid things, but making up a boyfriend to avoid pity from her ex and saying she'll bring the made up man to a couple's getaway certainly could be classified as one of her stupider moments. Enter Draco Malfoy, who suggests an arrangement: they pose as a couple long enough for her to keep her pride, and for him to better the Malfoy name by dating a war heroine. What could go wrong?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,095
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 684
- Kudos:
- 8,917
- Bookmarks:
- 2,511
- Hits:
- 184,110
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
24 Aug 2025
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Summary
It’s 1999. The war is over.
The world has moved on. Hermione Granger has not.
She arrives in Brisbane a shadow of herself—adrift in a city that is not home, with parents who do not understand her, waiting for letters that never come. She has been unraveling, slowly and methodically, and not a soul has noticed.
Until she sees him.
Draco Malfoy. A war criminal. A fugitive. Working in a Muggle pub under an assumed name, carving out a quiet, anonymous life at the edge of the world.
The chances of them ever crossing paths again were infinitesimal. He should have run the moment she recognized him. But he doesn’t.
And he just keeps showing up.
It isn’t fate, but it feels like it. It isn’t easy but they can’t seem to let go of each other.
It isn’t simple. It isn’t safe. But against all logic, it becomes something that will leave traces on them both forever.
A slow-burn enemies-to-lovers story about exile, identity, reinvention, and the messy, painful, nonlinear nature of healing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 147,619
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Comments:
- 345
- Kudos:
- 304
- Bookmarks:
- 216
- Hits:
- 16,871
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
21 May 2025
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Lazarus by constantblathering
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
06 Sep 2025
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Summary
NOW COMPLETE: Slow burn enemies to lovers road trip across Australia with banter, romance and political intrigue.
Draco Malfoy is on a quest to save his son. Hermione Granger is on a quest to steal his quest. What could go wrong?
Terrified that his son Scorpius may one day succumb to a centuries-old blood curse, Draco embarks on a desperate search for a mythical fountain rumoured to hold the power to heal. Tracking ancient magic across Australia would be hard enough on its own, but with Hermione Granger (freshly divorced, endlessly clever, and irritatingly determined) insisting on joining him, the task becomes even more infuriating.
Equal parts adventure, romance, and self-discovery, this is a story about redemption and the healing magic of second chances.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 162,049
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 853
- Kudos:
- 600
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 29,629
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
19 May 2025
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Summary
It was only supposed to be a mother-daughter holiday. But Rose Weasley is her mother's daughter, and her best friend happens to be Scorpius Malfoy.
“You need to come now,” Hermione whispered. “I think I may be an accessory to kidnapping Draco Malfoy’s son.”
or
Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy are on a mission to set up their parents. What better time to parent-trap them together than the week-long Christmas Holiday Hermione has been planning for three months?Series
- Part 1 of Mission T.I.T.S and Other Mischiefs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,200
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 2,653
- Kudos:
- 6,695
- Bookmarks:
- 2,304
- Hits:
- 252,450
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
15 Dec 2024
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Summary
Hermione Granger wakes up on a storm-lashed island in the middle of nowhere, in a rusted tower with locked cells, the sea battering the rocks below, and something inhuman stalking the stairwells.
Trapped with old enemies and half-conscious allies, she must survive long enough to answer two questions: who brought them here, and why.
A survival thriller about war’s aftermath, impossible choices, and the thin line between mercy and cruelty.
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
09 Dec 2024
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- Words:
- 143,868
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 82
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
05 Nov 2024
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Summary
When the Headmistress mandates therapy and offers optional group support sessions for those heavily impacted by the war, most roll their eyes - but for the first time in a long time, Hermione Granger feels a flicker of hopeful healing.
But as group session attendance dwindles, leaving two broken hearts with only wards between them - Hermione finds a kindred soul through bleak confessions and a companion for her demons she’d always thought she’d face alone.
If only she knew who they were.
A Hogwarts 8th-year inspired story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 148,750
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 2,085
- Kudos:
- 3,931
- Bookmarks:
- 1,494
- Hits:
- 173,026
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
19 Sep 2024
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Summary
What would you give to save the person you love?
Draco Malfoy has lived a charmed life, growing up in the manor with everything he could want at his fingertips - a perfect, pampered prince.
As a teenager, he comes to Hogwarts and looks down on everyone he meets. He is cruel, vicious - heartless.
As an adult, he is merciless- a cold blooded killer.
Ruthless, inhumane, feared by those around him.But when Draco is found dead after hanging himself from the rafters of a room in the Hog’s Head, with only a bag full of memory vials and his diaries left beside him - Hermione discovers more about Draco and who he really was.
That all he ever wanted to do was make people proud.
As she searches his memories, she slowly realises that he was never the person that he showed to the world.
He suffered so much in his short life.Draco’s memories tell a story of true, unending love and sacrifice and as she watches, Hermione needs to decide what she is willing to do to give Draco another chance at the life he truly deserves.
’I promise, I will make you proud.’
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 222,539
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 4,535
- Kudos:
- 8,093
- Bookmarks:
- 4,148
- Hits:
- 485,107
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
11 Aug 2024
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,249
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 2,779
- Kudos:
- 6,387
- Bookmarks:
- 3,822
- Hits:
- 434,063
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
10 Jul 2024
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Summary
Les pèlerins: pilgrims; travelers on a journey to a holy place.
Hermione Granger refused to believe in fate.
She’d had enough of destiny and prophecies to last a lifetime.
But try as she may, she felt, sometimes, that an invisible golden thread stretched out and away from her.
All she could do was follow it.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 26
- Comments:
- 433
- Kudos:
- 6,660
- Bookmarks:
- 1,886
- Hits:
- 100,482
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
19 Jun 2024
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Summary
The world is supposed to end on a Tuesday night. Hermione has 48 hours. She's not expecting to run into Draco Malfoy in a muggle pub. As it turns out, it's perfect timing.
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
10 Jun 2024
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Summary
Pansy Parkinson had a brilliant, but petty idea: Hermione should give Ron a taste of his own medicine— after quite the public break up Ron Weasley insists one parading whichever girl he deemed special enough for the night in front of Hermione— and frankly, Pansy had enough of Hermione’s moon eyes.
A petty arrangement is proposed between Hermione and Pansy’s best friend, Draco Malfoy. Hermione refuses at first, not wanting a relationship or a one night stand but when Pansy utters the words “Play Pretend,” followed afterwards by “he’s gay,” well, Hermione saw her chance to make Ron’s head pop off.
Only, things never go according to plan when Pansy is involved. Hermione should have known better.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,753
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,551
- Kudos:
- 2,385
- Bookmarks:
- 896
- Hits:
- 109,302
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
08 Jun 2024
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Summary
Fallen from grace due to his involvement in the war, Draco Malfoy fully intended on entering his ministry-mandated eighth year at Hogwarts as one thing: miserable.
But what happens when the most terrifying witch with a blood lust for justice—The Brightest Witch of Her Age—assigns herself as Draco’s unofficial bodyguard against their vengeful cohorts?
Draco earns himself what is aptly referred to as Scary Granger Privileges™.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 111,692
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Comments:
- 2,744
- Kudos:
- 8,116
- Bookmarks:
- 3,267
- Hits:
- 323,741
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
31 May 2024
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Bookmarked by somesillynerd
07 May 2024
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Summary
"All her growth was the conveying of a corpse of hope."
(From 'The Rainbow', D.H. Lawrence)This is a story about coming into one's own, a meditation on the twilight of girlhood and the violence of crash-landing into womanhood. Follow Hermione as she navigates through the quagmire: Saving the world, getting top grades, falling in love, lust, and a whole lot of trouble, and comes out of it hopefully (at least) partially sane.
Series
- Part 1 of Here We Go Round The Prickly Pear
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 728,096
- Chapters:
- 108/108
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 7,162
- Kudos:
- 11,325
- Bookmarks:
- 6,290
- Hits:
- 1,257,414
Bookmarked by somesillynerd
05 Apr 2024
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Bookmarked by somesillynerd
23 Mar 2024
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Bookmarked by somesillynerd
28 Feb 2024