silentwalrus
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The pair of droids doing the decanting rinse and dry the babies straight out of the tube, making sure the weighing isn’t thrown off by any excess clinging fluid, and the clones are fluffy-headed and freshly clothed by the time the padded droid arms set them down in the pen, but it’s like the little bastards are trying to make up for their new totally dry environment by sliming the absolute shab out of everything they touch.
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So it’s not Soap’s fault, is the thing.
He assesses the situation, evaluates the terrain, makes a totally reasonable conclusion. Soldiers die, it happens. Their companions lose the connection, become indistinguishable from any regular animal. But it’s not like they just up and puff into smoke. It usually becomes next of kin’s responsibility, just like anywhere else - the more typical animals get taken to shelters or adopted by the deceased’s family. If your lucky stiff had some rare Left-Spotted Lesser Transylvanian Weasel or something then a conservation org or zoo might happily take it off your hands.
But just as often companions just scarper. Birds fly away, dogs jump a fence, cats skitter off and join the feral colonies hanging around the nearest underpass - but this fucking thing Soap’s nearly stepped in ain’t even making it down the stairs.
So Soap, Christlike in nature as he is, decides to do a good deed this fine evening.
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come as you are by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
23 Mar 2025
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Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way.
Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.Series
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snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
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They have a cash flow problem.
This used to matter less, since being enslaved came with meals, meds, beds, blacks and all the other minor details that keep an army shooting, sleeping and shitting regularly, but now that they’re all basking and broke in the glorious light of their ex-GAR freedom, the average clone has their pockets full of a big fat nothing.
Recent series
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Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating
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Convenience grouping of my little FMA word doodles!
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- 4,589
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- 3
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grapefruit cinematic universe by silentwalrus, teacuplet, tinfigs
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
05 Oct 2020
- Words:
- 4,496
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- 1
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- 65
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Unnamed McGonigal Dog is very kindly on loan from torakowalski's Your Hand in Mine, Eoin's childhood companion.
Ambrose says, squinting, “He had this little dog when he was a boy, used to go everywhere with him.”
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
18 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“Mayne,” Ambrose said, exasperated. “Does the metaphor escape you, or have I misjudged?”
“McGonigal,” said Paddy, turning to glare, as if the frown that had cowed the finest fighting men in all four kingdoms would subdue a McGonigal in full flight, despite all previous evidence to the contrary. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
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Ichigo is absolutely convinced that Kisuke is full of it when he tells Ichigo that during his Onmitsukidou days, honeypot missions were part of his skill set. Honestly, Ichigo can't imagine Urahara Kisuke seducing anyone.
Which might be why Ichigo doesn't realize it's happening to him.
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Bookmarked by silentwalrus
18 Feb 2026
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They will never get their Security Deposits back by Letha_Sona
Fandoms: Bleach (Anime & Manga)
03 Nov 2025
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All Akari Tanaka (absolutely, one-hundred-percent not related to the old man downstairs) wanted was to pass biochemistry. She didn't expect her study group's savior to have a roommate who treats reality as a suggestion. Now she had a front-row seat to why their landlord will never, ever return their security deposit.
Series
- Part 4 of Just... a minor anomaly
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
16 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
While they waited for the analysis, Kisuke hovered, his fan fluttering. “So, Akari-chan! Ichigo tells me you study the fascinating minutiae of mortality! Lividity! Decomposition! Such a practical field! It reminds me of a time I had to recalibrate a soul’s trajectory after a particularly messy… ah, but that’s a story for another day!” He winked.
Ichigo shot him a look that could have vaporized steel.
Somehow, amidst the offers of glowing drinks, the aggressive rustling of the ficus, and Kisuke’s running commentary on the “harmonic decay of trace evidence in a spiritually dense environment,” the analysis was completed.
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Plaiting a dark red love-knot (into her long black hair) by NotLonelyJustAlone
Fandoms: Bleach (Anime & Manga)
30 Jun 2023
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“You’re the best cook amongst my friends and I have a reason to learn.” She beamed at him.
“Some sort of E. coli outbreak in all the restaurants in Seireitei?”
“What?”
“Never mind.” He eyed her and decided he wasn’t going to follow his cue until he’d had coffee. He almost started with ‘fine’ but caught himself; she’d hold it against him as him ‘agreeing’. “Why do you want to learn all of a sudden?”
“Renji and I are going to get married.”
“And that means you have to learn to cook?” he checked.
She scowled at him.
“Oh, right. Congratulations,” he said, very dryly. “Like everyone didn’t see that one coming years ago.” It still broke his brain a bit. Their house would never have a moment of peace unless all within had been rendered unconscious.
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Bookmarked by silentwalrus
11 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“Cooking would save a lot of money, wouldn’t it?”
“So would Renji not buying expensive designer sunglasses.”
The look she gave him would have had him reconsidering matrimony if she’d been remotely his type. “He has found a reasonably priced and similar-looking brand for all future replacements.”
Ichigo checked that the coffeepot hadn’t frosted over before pouring his second cup. “And neither of you knows how to cook?”
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I was hunted for sport at GlobeCon and all I got was this lousy T-shirt by FlipSpring for pavlovs_axolotl
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
31 Jan 2026
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Murderbot is on a critical mission: investigate and infiltrate the media conglomerate WarFlix, the organizer for the annual GlobeCon Event.
The fact that the head show-runner for The Rise And Fall Of Sanctuary Moon is a guest of honor at this year’s GlobeCon is a total coincidence.
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Bookmarked by silentwalrus
01 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Elbik glanced upwards. “Who’s that?”
“The ship,” I said, “It’s an asshole.”
“Wait, where’s the crew?” Ayres asked.
“It’s just me and Asshole here,” I said. I opened my bag and pulled out the crinkled The Rise And Fall Of Sanctuary Moon poster. “Damn.”