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Anonymous asked:
imagine this is your first olympic game and your opponents are the Red Menace and the Wasian Terrorridetheinvisiblepuck replied:
i don’t have to imagine i can hear the rattling of the chains tying clara to the nethockeysucchiaggio reblogged ⇄ ridetheinvisiblepuck
#this is like watching a national geographic doc #where two lions are performing some fucked up mating dance #while slaughtering a herd of zebrasor,
Canada faces Italy in the first preliminary match of the men's hockey tournament at the Olympics, and Ilya is not pleased that Shane has noticed the Italian goalie. What follows: a bad loss, the great condom shortage of the Winter Olympics, and an excommunication.Series
- Part 2 of #ilyarozanoviscancelled
Bookmarked by runafina
15 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
holy shit this was so fucking funny ESPECIALLY after finland's 11-0 against italy today. i haven't laughed this hard ever i think and i love heated rivalry and i love team canada and im sorry damian clara im sure youre a nice dude and i feel bad that you're getting both your real and fictional butts kicked but this was so fucking funny. i was supposed to sleep hours ago but instead i am up laughign at this oh my lord
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Regulus has always known he's destined to drown. He feels it deep in his chest, past his rib cage, nestled somewhere behind his organs. He feels it in his arm when his mother squeezes it a little harder than a mother should. He felt it, the water rising in his throat, when his brother slipped out the window and into the night. He often wonders if it'd be easier to just let himself sink.
He often wonders if he has a choice.
Regulus gets sent back to school with a mission from the Dark Lord himself— find the “beast in the chamber” and claim its fangs without killing it. But when a certain curly-haired bespectacled boy asks for a rather large favor, everything suddenly gets a lot more complicated.
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- English
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- 442,779
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- 70/70
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Bookmarked by runafina
17 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this fic has had me in its chokehold for DAYS. regulus as a parselmouth is such an interesting concept and i loved the jegulus dynamic in this so, so much. the horcrux plot twist is good. i'm not sure that resurrection is the decision that makes sense rationally, but it's one that i absolutely needed emotionally. so. i also appreciate that there wasn't any mcd (except fleamont. and evan... if they count).
speaking of - the rosekiller dynamic in this fic? absolutely insane. beautiful. feral. evan loves barty until the day he dies and then every day afterwards. he would follow him anywhere. it's so horribly tragic and i ate it up.
the most creative thing about this fic is definitely saskia. i think godric/salazar is a common pairing to establish as history in jegulus fics because of the parallels, but telling this story & narrating history through saskia's voice is so fascinating. i wish we saw more of her in regulus's last year at school, but i do understand why that couldn't have been.
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Lily remembered her sister, how there had been a time she was curious and delighted about magic, before it slowly sank in that she could look and not touch.
The last thing Petunia had said to Lily before she died was a chilly goodbye, ending a holiday dinner where they'd had a shrieking row in the entryway. Petunia had said 'freak' and Lily had hissed 'better than this, better than this being my whole fucking world, Tune, do you even see yourself, are you happy--'
And now here was Dudley Vernon Dursley fussing himself to sleep as Lily walked the halls of the Godric's Hollow house. His tiny soft hands with their tiny soft fingernails curled under her chin, the same way Harry's always had.
She passed James, who was gently bouncing his way up the hall the opposite way. "I think he's asleep," James mouthed over Harry's tousled head. His hair was the same mess, his head bent down as he peered at his sleeping son.
Lily stopped where she stood, her nephew heavy on her chest, her husband smiling, her sister buried. "James," she said. "How are we going to do this?"
Series
- Part 12 of boy with a scar
- Language:
- English
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- 9,751
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- 1/1
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- 14
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Bookmarked by runafina
13 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
for some reason i've been obsessed with the idea of happy families recently. somehow dudley got mixed into this one. i don't mind, because it's absolutely his parents' faults that he was a brat. he deserves good parents and good uncles too. also lily is a BAMF and i love her
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Harry Potter spent his eleventh birthday in a cabin on a tiny rock in the middle of the sea, listening to his cousin snore on the couch.
When a knock sounded on the wind-swept, rain-drenched door, it was not a giant fist (or a half-giant's fist). It was a short sharp rap that sounded once, twice, three times before Minerva McGonagall simply charmed the lock open and stepped inside.
"Apologies," Minerva said crisply, as Vernon raced out brandishing his rifle and Petunia pulled Dudley up off the couch and behind her. "I wasn't sure you could hear me over the weather.” The rain fell down behind the professor in a roar. She was perfectly dry.
Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this," she said, pulling out a letter and handing it to Harry, who was cross-legged on the floor, "because our owl post seems to have been unable to get through.”
“And I've come to deliver this," she added, pulling out a second letter, "because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort."
Series
- Part 16 of boy with a scar
- Language:
- English
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- 21,860
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- 1/1
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- 18
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- 831
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Bookmarked by runafina
13 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
dude. this dudley characterization was so. good.
i actually spent a good 3/4 of my day binge-reading every single work in this series from head to toe (college student over winter break = freedom at its finest), but this is the what if? that stood out to me the most. dudley dursley, as we see him in canon, is probably the farthest thing from a ravenclaw that you could possibly get. to be fair, he doesn't seem brave enough for gryffindor, diligent enough for hufflepuff, or ambitious enough for slytherin, either (that last one is debatable, possibly). but ravenclaw? dudley?
i adore the unconventional relationships that the author builds between dudley and characters that we don't get enough of in canon - nymphadora tonks, for one. cedric diggory and his "apprentice prefect" title and yearly greetings at every hogwarts express cabin. percival weasley, of all people. it's so fascinating to view harry through the eyes of his cousin. at hogwarts, the dynamic that dudley is accustomed to is entirely inverted. at school, his scrawny good-for-nothing cousin is the Boy Who Lived and dudley himself is irrelevant. he's nothing. he's on the sidelines more often than not, struggling through coursework even though he's in the house for smart people.
and gosh. i am obsessed with dudley's character arc in this fic. i love that the author kept elements of what made the dursleys so overwhelmingly mundane - dudley's love for "boring things" like spreadsheets and archives and numbers isn't a symptom of his Muggle-ness, but just a quirk he inherited from his father, who only ever talks about drills. i love that he steps up, in the end, to contribute to this war in the best way he knows how. i love that he stands up for his cousin, despite everything. dudley dursley was not a good child. but he grows up into a good man. and i think that at the end of the day, ravenclaw house suits him best.
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
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- 208
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- 13,155
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Bookmarked by runafina
10 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this is brilliant. the story is so compelling and the slow burn is so good but what really takes the cake is the author's narration style. it's wonderfully witty and sarcastic and stupidly hilarious. i've never laughed so hard for so long reading anything before. i sent this to all my friends so we could cackle over the dialogue and draco's hilarious internal monologue. harry and ron are idiots, of course, but narrating from draco's perspective takes that to a whole new level. and the nuns. fucking fantastic. i love the nuns. i have also developed an unhealthy attachment to henriette the french house elf. and tonks is so iconic as head auror and jkr missed out big time by killing her off in the war. fuck her