queer_drunk_dwarf
Fandoms
- Minecraft (Video Game) (1)
- Dream SMP (1)
- SMPEarth (1)
Recent works
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public relations are my favorite crime by queer_drunk_dwarf for CatInTheVoid
Fandoms: SMPEarth
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
Fit and Phil lands themselves in a pickle.
Thankfully, they know just the thing to get out of it!
Techno wants to go to sleep.
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If I could wish for one thing, I’d take the smile that you bring by Cracksicle, queer_drunk_dwarf, SilverBell2005
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
28 Feb 2024
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Summary
Phil's life was rather good at the moment. Well as good as it can be with a dead wife, permanent knee injury, and a single small coffee shop to earn a living. Either way, things were going a bit too well leaving him to wonder what type of shit storm was about to come his way. Perhaps he should’ve kept his thoughts to himself because what he got was far worse than he ever imagined.
AKA Three crackheads banded together to write a Fic because there wasn’t enough Dark SBI with innocent Philza.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Sanji becomes the new head chef of the Kuraigana Enclave—a strictly “daytime only” job that he inherited from his father.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,764
- Chapters:
- 2/16
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 80
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 822
Bookmarked by queer_drunk_dwarf
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
It’s so quiet in the war room that you could hear a pin drop. Not a single person dares to say a word - not even the favored princes - and all eyes remain fixed on the head of the table, where a large figure sits hunched over in its chair, clutching the latest newsreel between two massive fists.
Having been forewarned of some of the contents of said newsreel, Sanji does his best to keep anything from showing on his face, to maintain his expression in an implacable facade. He thinks he largely succeeds in controlling himself outwardly, but inwardly his gut is churning with emotion.
The newsreel twitches, and the five people not holding the paper sit up a little straighter in their seats, each of them bracing for impact without actually meaning to as slowly, oh so slowly, the paper is lowered down until it’s resting flat on the table.
“Well,” Judge says, his mouth working like he wants to spit. “This is certainly an … unexpected development.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,010
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 450
- Kudos:
- 8,373
- Bookmarks:
- 1,961
- Hits:
- 74,442
Bookmarked by queer_drunk_dwarf
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
In which, the storm is unbearable, but Sanji needs a place to put his feet, and Zoro happens to be the only thing in the galley that won't move.
Bookmarked by queer_drunk_dwarf
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
"I'm just saying, if he ruins my plays I will complain," he says at last, whiny in a way Nami sometimes finds endearing and sometimes eye roll inducing.
"You won't complain when you see him changing in the locker room, though." Nami's teases.
Sanji really won't complain when he sees Zoro changing. Because there are two things that are true: Sanji and Zoro are known to bicker. Their rivalry—can they truly be rivals if they don't play in the same position?—is something reporters like to bring up here and there. But, the biggest truth, the one Sanji has never told anyone, is that he has had a crush on Roronoa Zoro for the best part of ten years.
So, yes, Sanji is going to be teammates with his crush. A great way to start the season. What could possibly go wrong?
(In which Sanji discovers the highs and lows of playing professional volleyball with his crush.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,678
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 89
- Bookmarks:
- 27
- Hits:
- 1,023
Bookmarked by queer_drunk_dwarf
17 Feb 2026
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this matey's a lot (or the trials and tribulations of pirate marriage) by namseas (plutosphere)
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
Zoro’s got more than he bargained for. He has a roof over his head, the most competent sparring partner within arm’s reach, and a purpose. And he’s not going to let any little flirt for free garlic bread overshadow what Sanji means to him — and what he is fairly certain he means to the cook. — He’s too old to worry about that, anyways...
What he’s not too old to worry about, however, is Zeff coming over for Christmas dinner.
“Geezer” — Zoro throws his arm to the back of his chair to fix Zeff with an amused stare — “the cook and I’ve been married.”
“Pirate married, zucchini,” the old man corrects him as he mirrors his posture. “Which doesn’t count for shit when y’all aren’t pirates anymore.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,176
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 120
- Bookmarks:
- 25
- Hits:
- 863
Bookmarked by queer_drunk_dwarf
17 Feb 2026