lesbianbookworm
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"Every time, it ends up the same way, with the Devil being on the loose again." Lucifer being the one to revive him in the cave feels inevitable. The question of responsibility and culpability is one Sam has enough time to ask himself as he leads Lucifer through the forest to meet his son.
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It's been two weeks since Vegas. Two weeks since Sam annulled his marriage to Becky. Two weeks since they let her go, tuck tail, run and hide. It's been two weeks since Sam slept through the night, if he sleeps at all. Okay, so maybe that is something they should talk about.
OR: coda to 7.08 where dean gets that what becky did was horrible and tries to support sam through the aftermath
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Sam doesn't know God, even though he's moved in with them. He doesn't know his motivations, can't presume to understand his plan. He doesn't see the bigger picture, if there even is one.
Lucifer on the other hand… Him Sam knows well. Far too well.
Or:
Sam considers God and Lucifer.Exploration of/AU in which Sam's trauma matters for 11x22: We Happy Few
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When Dean returns from a grocery trip, the last thing he expects is to walk in on Sam and Cas getting it on in the library.
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Sam had known that facing Lucifer again would not be easy. But returning from the Cage with his faith shattered leaves him reeling, struggling with memories he'd thought long ago repressed and buried. At least he's got his brother and Cas, his boyfriend, to help him back to his feet. But Dean is struggling too, the Darkness looming over him, her shadow threatening to swallow the earth whole. And Cas was affected by the visit to the Cage as well, his grace changed by the strain of entering a place that was designed to weaken angels. And with all of them drowning, Sam isn't sure if they'll be strong enough to hold each other up.
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A collection of non-sequential scraps about a troubled transsexual werewolf. Updates on the full moon.
Bookmarked by lesbianbookworm
29 Apr 2024
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There is no time in the Pit. For two years, Sam had listened to Dean talk about Hell, about the thirty agonizing years he spent on the rack, and he thought about how Dean was only just thirty then. Half of his existence, abject suffering. Dean never talked about the ten years he spent on the other side of that pain, or what finally made him give in. Sam never asked.
On the night before he jumped into Hell, Sam stared at the ceiling and tried not to imagine what eternity felt like, tried not to think about the haunted look in Dean’s eyes or the year his dad spent downstairs, how if Dean had let Sam stay dead in Cold Oak, he’d be in Heaven, at peace, and Dean wouldn’t have gone to Hell and the world wouldn’t be ending. He failed to stop himself from imagining them both a year from then — Dean wrecked but alive and the world stilling spinning, Sam a hundred years older, trapped forever with the Devil.
That vision was wrong — Lucifer taught Sam some theology. Hell is complete isolation from God. It’s also all the other stuff.
My Mega Sam Centric 12x01-12x02 tag.
Series
- Part 15 of Supernatural Episode Tags
Bookmarked by lesbianbookworm
10 Nov 2021
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Sam sends Magda a postcard or two.
Bookmarked by lesbianbookworm
07 Nov 2021
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Your mind is not your own. The future steals it, sometimes, a splitting pain behind your eyes and a throbbing at your temples. Your blood is not your own. Someone made you dirty at six months old. Your body is not your own. It was built for someone else.
Bookmarked by lesbianbookworm
24 Oct 2021
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A body is a thing-- it holds, it cuts, it bleeds, it lures. (Sam wrestles with autonomy, agency and consent.)
Bookmarked by lesbianbookworm
07 Jul 2021